Ab/Dl Vs Other Fetishs In Terms Of Acceptability

[WallaWalla]

yeah but it left him in much more displeasure NOT kicking him in the balls....

I would have done so with the intent of taking him out of the genepool, not robbing or granting pleasure.

[KittenAB]

I would have done so with the intent of taking him out of the genepool, not robbing or granting pleasure.

o.O That's dark, and rather ironic to the thread.

[WallaWalla]

KittenAB cannot into humor.

[KittenAB]

KittenAB cannot into humor.

Sorry, I didn't get the joke.

[tcc]

I think, for the most part, WE are our own worst enemies. We dread the worst, from what we know, from what we've seen from what we've heard and what we ASSUME. I LOVE the feeling of decadence as a 55 yr. old DL, who is in diapers A LOT (by MY choice), discreetly, under regular adult clothing, but I also LOVE wetting and messing - by MY choice, like MY choice of "absorbent underwear" (and I wear cloth diapers and plastic pants as much as disposables, with which I also use plastic pants) - and it is MY choice. If anyone notices, bully for them! I don't make it obvious what I'm wearing, given the small-mindedness of other people, and with diapers, unless you WANT to be obvious, there's a lot more peeps in diapers than any of us can imagine. Incontinence is a major health issue and incontinence products is a HUGE business bringing manufacturers mega-bucks.

In my experience, if I buy diapers at like Walgreens, if I am out in public diapered (discreetly, as I said), nobody really gives a damn, nobody says anything, and if the look on my face is "matter-of-fact", I give no one any REASON to say anything, think anything or react.

Diapers are absorbent underwear. There are people of ALL ages beyond the "accepted age" of being diapered, that need diapers, wear diapers, and/or ENJOY diapers. And, public perception aside, the CHOICE to be diapered is exactly THAT - a choice. And, for the true incon, the NEED for "containment" to whatever degree is a given.

Except for the AB male idiots that want to be able to run down to 7-11 late at night for a Slurpee wearing just diapers, a t-shirt and shoes/sandals late at night, and give the rest of us a bad name and brand the rest of the AB/DL world as sick, twisted and perverted (read that, in most cases, pedos)- and get all that fine media exposure - even without going into the BD/SM thing, we're all pretty much fine, sane and well-adjusted, and simply have our OWN choice of underwear and life-style.

As I said, I'm convinced that we CAN be our own worst enemies. The more normal WE feel, and make OUR thing seem as reasonable as any other "leaning", we CAN educate others. I mean, my wife isn't "into" diapers, but I CAN get her into them, and wet them, and it's not so repulsive she won't accomodate me, besides encouraging me in MY DL lifestyle. I'm not sure the BD/SM dungeon thing would be so easily accepted. It's absorbent underwear, for cripe's sake. And, if that is MY choice of underwear, why is it so much more obtuse than 'tighty-whiteys" or anything else?

And, if we go a step further into the sexual realm, and stimulation, etc., we move to a different level, and diapers become a prop.

Relax. Diaper up. Wet. Mess. Or not. Enjoy. The more normal WE make it for ourselves, the more normal we can make even the idea of diapers and wearing them (and using them for their intended purposes) for others. Isn't THAT a plan!

[curiositykilledthecat]

Here's the thing, there will always be people in every group that doesn't like another group, no matter what you do. It's important to get the "live and let live" mentality, not the "I have to learn to like it to" one, because the second one will always be a lie. If you think the BDSM vs AB/DL thing is odd, think about this, many lesbians and gay men do not like TG people.

irony being it was a TG who started their rights movement. People fear what they do not understand and hate what they fear. I have no problems with the BDSM community. I did until I met them, I was kind of...well... scared. I had a blast with them and despite some of their stuff not being my thing, they were cool people. I got to be a bit of a beacon for our community and as long as we don't act stupid about it we will be accepted.

[KittenAB]

irony being it was a TG who started their rights movement. People fear what they do not understand and hate what they fear. I have no problems with the BDSM community. I did until I met them, I was kind of...well... scared. I had a blast with them and despite some of their stuff not being my thing, they were cool people. I got to be a bit of a beacon for our community and as long as we don't act stupid about it we will be accepted.

It was kinda like that with me and the AB/DL community. When I became incontinent I fell into a deep depression ... until I stumbled on pics of people looking cute while wearing diapers ... it sparked a new appreciation for the diaper fetishists and infantalists, to learn that not everyone thinks diapers are this nasty thing makes it easier to cope. BDSM never bothered me, I just never cared about or for it, as long as they didn't do anything to me, it was cool.

[CBD]

This is a discussion which seems to crop up over and over. I wrote a blog post on the topic last year. One guy who commented was a BDSMer who had never considered diapers before, but after reading my blog found himself "suddenly thinking that diapers sound like a good idea."

One of the few people I am fully "out" to with regards to diapers is a girl I know who used to work as a pro dom. She was very receptive, even curious about my diapered desires. Reaching out and finding some common ground with the BDSM crowd seems more and more like a good direction for the community to head in. It would definitely be a positive step toward building a more social diaper scene, both on and off the web.

[BBoy]

How the hell did we end up with such a bad image even among other kinky people?

Jerry Springer for starters. That was just wierd. How anyone would want to go on TV and act like that is beyond me. Hey I'm a DL and I don't mind AB's at all however I have limits as what is acceptable in public and that went over the line. Springer may have brought the fetish to light but he didn't try to give a good understanding of it.

Then again, I've never seen a doc on DL's either.

[Zippo]

Im a member of the furry community and I've always wondered why my diaper fetish is scorned far more than any of my other, more extreme, fetishes.

In the end I think it comes down to the easy to misunderstand differences between ab/dl fetish and pedophillia and diapers association with scat - also a stigmatized fetish.

These common misconceptions just put people off before they have a chance to think.

[BriGuy]

I think all of this scorn and hatred towards the ABDL community is rubbish and in all of your heads. I've walked in public as an ab, I have spoken in numerous groups as an AB/DL, I have organized meets in the BDSM community for DL's to participate in. Recently we have a lil's group that I helped fragment from the normal BDSM group. I have not experienced any of this so called negativity some of you are talking about. Sure, I've heard snickers and remarks, but they were so far and few between I can't even remember what was said. If you are having negative issues maybe it is the way YOU present yourself, and how YOU present your AB/DL side.

I don't understand how wallowing around in this emotion of, "we will never be accepted bullshit." Because we are, and we can be for the most part.

~Brian

p.s. Maybe if everyone wasn't so closeted about who they are and afraid to just be peoples perceptions will change. I donno, either way I don't get this.

[tommee]

I think it's because nappies and baby things are diametrically opposed to what is normally considered sexy, even without the whole "they're sexualising children" nonsense.

Leather, latex, whips, chains etc, are quite "loaded" items in a psychological sense. Whips and chains speak of submission and domination. Leather has it's own scent and texture unlike any other material, and is used for clothing. Same for latex and rubber. With something like pony play, one is "riding" someone else, with dominant/ submissive roles acted out. Each of these activities has a reasonably clear link to sex, and is usually accompanied by sex.

Diapers, on the other hand, just aren't. They're what's taped to the very young and the very old in order to prevent their bodily waste from ruining their clothes.

When I told my (now ex) girlfriend about my ABism, the hardest thing for her to get to grips with was the complete lack of sex. I liked wearing and using nappies, dressing in a onesie, and drinking from a baby bottle. there's nothing remotely "sexy" going on there at all.

This is why I think other fetishes think we are weird, we're not just doing something abnormal that we find arousing (or otherwise) We're finding an everyday, mundane activity, arousing (or otherwise).

[CBD]

The recurring nature of this discussion got me going through old threads looking for the other conversations on this topic. I thought I would repost them here for everybody's reference.

[DD] Boards

• Why Do People Have Such A Negative View Of This Fetish?

• Bdsm Mainstream Aversion To Diapers?

I Heart Diapers

• Bringing Adult Diapers Mainstream

• The Adult Baby and Diaper Lover Reality

Also, this site features an interesting essay on social stigmas against diapers in general:

ISC

• Diapers Get A Bum Rap

[curiositykilledthecat]

Because even kinky people need something to frown upon to make them feel more "normal". I say who cares, I'm not into a lot of things and as long as you aren't brining me into it I'm okay with you being into it. I.e. try to get me into knife play and we'll probably end up on cops, or similar with Cock n ball torture.

[Missy Q]

 

In the end I think it comes down to the easy to misunderstand differences between ab/dl fetish and pedophillia and diapers association with scat - also a stigmatized fetish.

Hit nail on the head, really. Most people don't know how (or want to) separate pedophilia from diaper fetishes. I sometimes get worse feedback about  my diaper fetish than I do my Coprophilia. Sometimes, but usually not.

[tommee]

 

Hit nail on the head, really. Most people don't know how (or want to) separate pedophilia from diaper fetishes. I sometimes get worse feedback about  my diaper fetish than I do my Coprophilia. Sometimes, but usually not.

Ha, ABDL-ism as a cross between kiddy fiddling and Coprophilia. Nice.