Ab/Dl Vs Other Fetishs In Terms Of Acceptability

[messyman]

I recently had a awkward experience at a party. The topic of "porn safaris" and rule 34 came up. After hearing how Brazilian porn makes the Japanese and Germans blush someone told a story of gaining access to a friend's computer and finding out buddy was an AB. After watching the reaction on the group's faces, I then heard someone who I believe possesses one of the dirtiest minds and most experienced bodies in the world say how he was repulsed by diaper people. With just about anything else he says "whatever it's not my thing but good for you" but diapers cross some line. Later on in the night he was joking about sheep shagging and ball gags.

In a conversation with a ABDL friend the idea of having a dedicated nursery came up. We were not sure how anything short of a door behind a book shelf could allow such a thing. The one idea was to tell anyone that asked that it was your dungeon. Because somehow being into S&M is a better image to project than doing the normally gently and nurturing AB/DL activities.

How the hell did we end up with such a bad image even among other kinky people?

</rant>

[KittenAB]

Marquis Des Sade ... A lot matters on how old something is, most S&M has been around for a very long time, and while infantalism has been around just as long, diapers have not, especially disposables. The only way to speed up the process is to expose people to it more, education is a powerful tool, when they realize that the "regular" folk who have not done anything wrong are doing this enough, they will begin to lose their prejudices faster.

[amp501]

Tried and true, most people outside of the association of diapers and the fetish assume that we are pedophiles. Statically speaking, there's no evidence of the sort, but because adults want to dress and act like children, then they MUST be pedophiles, of course.

You could also think about it in the idea of deviations of what is normal for a family.

Mom and Dad can have kids, and if Mom and Dad split, custody would vary. Most people would associate Mom with keeping the kids, though if Dad fought for custody, many times he'd win.

however, a gay couple trying to get a kid is much harder, because there are perceived notions that the public wants to see. Gay couples sexually abuse kids, or kids of gay couples grow up to be gay. Statistics have proven this to be false, but the general public still believes that gay parents are BAD.

analogies aside. People don't like what we represent. Tough.

[Bettypooh]

....analogies aside. People don't like what we represent. Tough.

I'd change 'tough' to read "Pi$ on them all" (between diaper changes of course )

Bettypooh

[sarah_ab]

who cares, i mean really, its a FETISH.. something you do to get off, (at least in the OP's relation of it to other sexual fetish's it comes across that way).. and since its a fetish, who cares what your friends or family think as they dont need to be that informed about your sex life anyway...

[KittenAB]

who cares, i mean really, its a FETISH.. something you do to get off, (at least in the OP's relation of it to other sexual fetish's it comes across that way).. and since its a fetish, who cares what your friends or family think as they dont need to be that informed about your sex life anyway...

There's the problem, it's not always a sexual fetish, it's not always even a fetish, sometimes it's just a style, sometimes it's a way of life, sometimes it's a fetish, sometimes it's sexual. Multiclassed topics like this depend a lot on why the person does it, not just what it is, but people like to lump it all into one and assume it's what they would do it for.

[fluff]

How the hell did we end up with such a bad image even among other kinky people?

</rant>

Education, education, education.

Its hard for a vast amount of people not to link it to actual children.

[amp501]

There's the problem, it's not always a sexual fetish, it's not always even a fetish, sometimes it's just a style, sometimes it's a way of life, sometimes it's a fetish, sometimes it's sexual. Multiclassed topics like this depend a lot on why the person does it, not just what it is, but people like to lump it all into one and assume it's what they would do it for.

Don't you just love to be apart of the most fractured community of deviancy out there? Really. I'd love to see a poll of the community on a whole and how they relate to diapers.

[diaperpt]

I wouldn't assume that ALL people who find wearing and using diapers disgusting link it to pedophilia. I think a lot of people just finding peeing and pooping on yourself disgusting - perhaps because of experience changing baby diapers - perhaps for their own personal potty training experiences - who knows. It just isn't the pedophilia thing and I'm not sure 'education' or exposure is going to lessen the disgust on the part of some. I imagine some of those same people don't find other fetishes acceptable either.

[sarah_ab]

There's the problem, it's not always a sexual fetish, it's not always even a fetish, sometimes it's just a style, sometimes it's a way of life, sometimes it's a fetish, sometimes it's sexual. Multiclassed topics like this depend a lot on why the person does it, not just what it is, but people like to lump it all into one and assume it's what they would do it for.

\

which is why i clarified that at least the way this OP posted this, by comapring it to S&M, it came across as a sexual fetish for the OP... so my response was directly related to the OP.. and what the op's stance seemed to be based on the comparison given.

[anondl]

Unlike other fetish clothing, diapers are something we all have worn. Maybe the squeamishness comes from the denial of curiosity about diapers. I used to get nervous if a Pampers commercial came on the TV and there were other people in the room.

Also there's the I'm a big kid (or grownup) thing that the non AB/DL world aspires to. Nothing pisses off a little kid more than calling them a baby. Nothing humiliates them more than the threat of, or actually being put back in diapers, after they have been potty trained.

Then there is the eew factor of the practical purpose of diapers. Changing diapers is a chore a parent lovingly endures, but little kids are so much more enjoyable when they are housebroken and still cute.

Anondl

[WallaWalla]

I hate the way that a large number of people in this community shit on BDSM.

[KittenAB]

\

which is why i clarified that at least the way this OP posted this, by comapring it to S&M, it came across as a sexual fetish for the OP... so my response was directly related to the OP.. and what the op's stance seemed to be based on the comparison given.

Oh, thanks for the clarification. I'm a bit blunt, so forgive me.

[Frink]

I'd say it has to do with the urine/fecal matter. The only consensual fetishes more gross to the man on the street would probably be bugchasers or those body-mod guys who stick needles in their penises or castrate themselves.

Tends to freak people out, and the pedophilia association is real if statistically small--[That site], anyone?

[curiositykilledthecat]

I like what I like and if some pony player or Masochist doesn't like it then I'll go climb a ladder so they can jump up my butt. They're just as much freaks as we are, they just have their little clubs to feel less freaky. I wouldn't worry about your friends, my experience with fetishists is that they may not like something but they respect it. I.e. I think pony play is idiotic but they're entitled to do what they want in privacy so have at it.

[BriGuy]

I have had absolutely 0 problems with being accepted in the S&M community and I have been involved and active in that community for quite a long time.

[BriGuy]

I hate the way that a large number of people in this community shit on BDSM.

Agreed

[Guest NaughtyAshes]

Hey we have a little club too!

[square_duck]

I think most of the 'adverse opinion' with regards to diapers in general have to do with the functionality of them, and peoples opinion with regards to bodily functions. This is also a product and after effect related to potty training and all the 'brain washing' parents do to kids during that time, IE "only babies wear diapers" big boys/ girls use the potty and don't go in their pants" only babies wet their beds" Blah blah blah. So that ingrained opinion carrys over into adulthood with the curent opinions and negative feelings.

On the other side of the coin, being a D/L, I have 2 observations.

1) I don't get how anyone could be turned on by BDSM, pain, humiliation, whips, chains and cottage cheese (kidding....old joke) and i attribute this to my personal experience though life of being abused both physically and psychologically and emotionally, but people who were supposed to look out for my best interest and take some interest in me and my development. But I guess I have to accept that there are people who haven't gone through that and find it erotic or what not to go through...and experience the titillation of the "threat' of pain and punishment, the sting of a whip and shame of being locked in some mechanism in a demeaning way or tied in a painful contortion as a reminder of what ever XYZ crime they committed or how being a "bad" person can be punished.

2) Seeing that part of the social attitude towards diapers is negative, and humiliating, I don't understand how they can not be incorporated more into the BDSM scene, since humiliation and shame, embarrassment and punishment are the over riding themes of these activities. What could be more humiliating and punishing than locking someone in a diaper (possibly after an enema) and ito some stocks or tying them up in a disabling position and forcing them to have an 'accident'? I have seen it in some videos and on sites for such things, but I still find it odd that diapers are still frowned on, and not looked at as a tool for such use, for people who would 'enjoy' such things.

Maybe it has something to do with perspective and experience. Having been hurt at such levels at a young age, I don't understand these activities and cannot fathom how others can find them interesting or 'erotic' or 'stimulating'. I know it's a lot about power and control and 'trust' but I still don't get the 'pleasure' side of it. maybe people who experienced a positive childhood want to know what it's like to be on the other side of the tracks, and find that to be an 'exciting' place to visit, but for those of us who lived there in childhood, it's no fun, and not an 'interesting' or stimulating' or 'erotic' place to visit. In fact, I can guarantee if anyone tried any of that stuff with me it would be met with a very VIOLENT reaction so I just don't go there, like I said, I don't get it.

So, it's a 2 way street, they don't get our stuff, and some of use don't understand theirs, and some even don't want to bother to try

to me, the BDSM world is a VERY strange and alien world that doesn't make sense. I'll stay in mine, they can have it.

I know, I know..."sticks and stones can break my bones but whips and chains excite me"

What ever....

qwack

[KittenAB]

Here's the thing, there will always be people in every group that doesn't like another group, no matter what you do. It's important to get the "live and let live" mentality, not the "I have to learn to like it to" one, because the second one will always be a lie. If you think the BDSM vs AB/DL thing is odd, think about this, many lesbians and gay men do not like TG people.

[WallaWalla]

I think that the association with children and the elderly/infirm is more repulsive than the functionality. I've encountered a number of people who were into watersports/scat who felt diapers were a bit much.

Also, male submissives in general are going to catch a great amount of shit. Amongst the 'commonfolk'(i.e. those who are good at hiding their fetishes, sometimes even from themselves), most forms of sexual submission in a man are going to be strongly criticized. It doesn't matter if his flavor of submission is in the vein of wearing a diaper or getting his balls stepped on.

[sarah_ab]

ha that reminds me of this guy i went on a date with... a friend set us up, thought we'd be perfect for each other, found out late she thought this because he was a giant perv, and she mistook giant perv for fellow kink enthusiast... at any rate, we were not even to the restaurant yet when he pulls over and says me to... so erica says you get pretty crazy, how's about you kick me in the balls after we eat?

no kidding... this is what he said to me... i just unbuckled my seat belt, stepped out of the car, and started walking back the way we came without saying a word.. although inside i was laughing like crazy.. i mean those were some huge balls he wanted me to kick for him to just outright say that to me.

[WallaWalla]

I'd have kicked him in the balls, then left.

[KittenAB]

ha that reminds me of this guy i went on a date with... a friend set us up, thought we'd be perfect for each other, found out late she thought this because he was a giant perv, and she mistook giant perv for fellow kink enthusiast... at any rate, we were not even to the restaurant yet when he pulls over and says me to... so erica says you get pretty crazy, how's about you kick me in the balls after we eat?

no kidding... this is what he said to me... i just unbuckled my seat belt, stepped out of the car, and started walking back the way we came without saying a word.. although inside i was laughing like crazy.. i mean those were some huge balls he wanted me to kick for him to just outright say that to me.

That's a hard one, on one side you don't want to tell your friend they're uneducated, but on the other you can't blame him. >.<

[sarah_ab]

yeah but it left him in much more displeasure NOT kicking him in the balls.... i mean i may get kinky, but i still like a little romance you know...