There Should Have Been A Warning That I Went Too Far

[diaprbayb]

Yes, there is no pretty typing in this thread.

Many of you know my story, maybe not. I have been into crossdressing and ABDL for 36 years now. I have been married for for what may not be 21 years next week. Not my wife knew about the crossdressing and the diapers before we were married. In fact she gave me my first real cloth diapers, Adult size. This was possible because the her job at the time was caring for young adults that because of mental development needed diapers. This home was switching to disposibles. So instead of throughing them out she gave me a pair. Yet for that same reason she could not participate in play with me because it reminded her to much of the "children" at work.

As far as the crossdressing went, the only time I was not in panties was when I went to doctors or others placed where I might have to disrobe in front of others. She even had me wear bras under heavy sweaters during the winter. After our first child was born she offered me to drink from her breast after the child was done. this was cool. This continued with secound child, but there we started having trouble. Many times she was so full it hurt. Because of me working late I was too tired to help. It was a rough time , but we got through it. Even to this day she teases me with the fact that if I had kept up with the feeding that she would've supplied milk for years. Now for time line purposes, about 5 years into the marrige she "caught " me chatting with another crossdresser. She didn't see it that way. She believed that the girlie name belonged to a girl and considered this cheating. I was banded from the EVIL internet after that. Of course I still continues to post , but no more chatting. now this went on for another 10 years. Her buying me panties, even little girl panties. Always teasing me when we would pass the baby section of the stores we would shop in. We have had fights about it. Many times she has made purge my wardrobe. I had aquired about 9 pretty outfits of the rack as they were going out of style for being too prissy. They are gone now. Since then the panties hve been restocked. the diapers were always on my mind and she knew it and teased me any chance she got. then 5 years ago, one christmas she surprised me with all baby gifts. There were bottles, diapers, pins and wipes. There was pretty panties and stockings. Every christmas since then has been the same. Then of course I mentioned how the store brand disposibles that she was getting were not the best choice. I informed her of better quality ones. She ok'd for me to get a pack of TENA supers. they were great. At first she still didn't actually "play". Then she informed me that on long trips she was always uncomfortable about whether she could last without accidents (this was new to me). I got her some GOODNITES. We also tried underjams but she liked the GOODNITES better. She also said that I had to wear them also. It was great that we were sharing. Then one day she told me if I stayed home from work that she would diaper me up in a pair of the Tena's. I jumped at the chance. there we were me on the bed. Her bringing up the diaper between my legs. After she taped me up she started rubbing my c*ck through the diaper. It was so intense we took the diaper off and went town with some of the best sex we have had in a while. this was ajust a few months ago and things cooled after that.

For years she has complained to me that she painfully bored staying at home ( she quit her nice paying job to stay home with kids (both ADHD now). My memory has it she beged me to let het quit and stay home. Hers is that I made her quit. Well then we found facebook. Through her brother she reconnected with friends from 30 years back that they lost track , even thought they lived 2 miles away. this stilled up some regrets. Then she had a fight with her mother that stilled up all of her pass "bad" memories. including the ones involving me.

Ok, from here is going to be of course my side of the issue and her side will never be truely expressed because she knows not of this world. She has agreeded to support her mothers choice of disowning us, but since she will not confront her mother she has channeled the anger at me. She loves that we became great "girlfriends" with the crossdressing. But She feels I went too far with the Diapers. It now totally discusses her. She can nolonger consider having sex with me again. During one of the "discussions" we had during the last week, she tells me that a turning point was when I asked her if she noticed how much bigger my erection was when we involved the diapers. This to her was saying that she dosen't arouse me enough without the diapers. She can nolonger stand to look at me and has asked me to leave for a while for her to have time to be on her own and "not under my control".

I have no place to go. My best friend is also my brother in law, just had to move in with us last month due to his disability. So I am triing to stay away as much as possible. It urns out that this is all happing during 2 weeks of vacation I had scheduled. I have things planned with kids. But when not doing this I have been hanging out at malls and sleeping in my company car parked in anyplace I can find that is opened and has a parking garage. I told her her I need to be able to keep my clothes there and be able to shower. today is the first day that I would have been away for almost the whole day.

(you would be supprised how many free samples you can get at the mall food courts)

[peelover]

You need a hug

[subtledragon]

Man, I'm sorry to hear things aren't going too well... Really wish I could help. Hopefully the time on her own will help your wife realise she's being harsh on you. In the time you do spend with her, make sure she knows she's the most important thing in your world and you never meant to "control" her in any way. Maybe someone with more experience could give better advice, but that's all I got... Hope things work out for the best.

[turtlepins]

Hugs

[Guest rosemonde10]

Wow. I am sorry it's not going so well.

My view on topics such as this discussed if that if the diapered lifestyle is really impinging THIS much on your life to the point it's destroying all your social and private relationships, then you should give it up. There comes a time when you should ask yourself if diapers are THIS important to you that it cuts you off from everyone.

Hopefully you can work it out.

I know of the theory of masterbatory conditioning. That is, condition yourself to be aroused by something by using it whenyou masterbate. This way over time your mind becomes conditioned to be aroused by the thing you condition with. FOr example: if you cannot get aroused without diapers, TAKE DIAPERS OUT of the equation. Substitute it with general porn or something. Over time you will become aroused by the thing. The masterbation reconditions your arousal needs.

Anyway, I hate to hear this. My hopes!!

[Curious One]

Well I am sorry to hear such things. I truly hope you can get this right. As for daipers...Maybe you should lay off a while. More than anything perhaps writing her a letter would help. Know this. If you talk to write to her, be as humber as possible. People expect you to defend yourself and get angry and pridefull. Humility is very disarming in an arguement. Try to do all you can. As for masturbating...I have done it, and get no arousal or pleasure from it, so I really do not know if you can condition arousal that way.. try it perhaps.

I know you said she thinks you need daipers to be aroused, and she is not enough...Well...Porn will just make her think she is not enough still and you need porn. Masturbate infront of her? XD maybe then you can condition yourself to her? But you may just disgust her...hmmm..

[Guest YkDave]

first off, i will say that it is a pretty chitty situation to be in and i hope everything does turn out for the better in the end.

Sure, i can see her being pretty upset about you saying that the diapers were more of a turn-on that she is. thats got to be one of the biggest insults ever!

Personally, im in the same boat too, ive got a smokin hot GF and in all seriousness, a diaper turns me on more than her... Now if i went and told her that, or even implied it, i wouldnt expect that things would turn out great at all.

Not to mention that will all of the other BS going on right now in her life, i think its all just a little too much for her to handle and she just needs some time to gather her mind. which might not be such a bad thing.

I think you are doing the right thing by giving her some space, let her mull some things over in her mind and maybe in a few days try to sit down and have a civilized conversation about it all and sort out your differences.

If she is not willing to work with you on this (no diapers or whatever) and/or you are not willing to give up diapers (limited use or whatever), than maybe its for the better if you were to separate. Yes everyone will scream and whine that you should stay together because of the kids, and i do agree that is a very good idea. But what kind of life is that, when your living with someone that does not love (or even hates) you? I think the kids would be better off having 2 separated, yet happy parents rather than 2 miserable ones that live together.

[Guest rosemonde10]

In a similar thread I mentioned something about how if a person does not like something chances are they never will. So if she is not accepting of you now for these specific reasons, then she probably won't later unless you change yourself out of diapers permanently.

Have hope.

[diaperpt]

In a similar thread I mentioned something about how if a person does not like something chances are they never will. So if she is not accepting of you now for these specific reasons, then she probably won't later unless you change yourself out of diapers permanently.

Have hope.

But apparently she's gonealong with this for more than twenty years. She had been fine with it and now something within the family has changed things.

I hope you two are able to talk with each other about why she has changed her feelings. Maybe there's something you've done to change it and you haven't noticed - it sounds like you never really resolved the issue of your chatting with someone else she thought was cheating.

It sounds like this has developed into something where your choices may be to get some couples counselling or to call it quits and move on. Don't ask or expect her to just turn off her 'angry' switch and go back to things as they were. Instead, you're going to have to talk with her to find out what's really going on and then work to get to a place where you really understand each other. I'm not sure why you are not able to express yourself better online and I don't mean any offense - I hope you are able to express yourself verbally and can work this out with each other.

And while it sounds scary to go to a marriage counsellor with the cross-dressing and diaper thing, look for one you feel you can trust - as professionals, they ought to be able to deal objectively with your issues. If because of some bias in their own personality, they are put off by your situation, find another counselor - not necessarily one that favors your point of view over your wife's, but one who can deal with the issues without being judgmental.

Good luck!

[diaprbayb]

thanks for all these comments.

[Loveable_guy]

Wow what a parallel, must be something in the water in SE PA.

My gal and I go thru stages where she will accept my wearing and the next thing I know it no dice. I’m not a cross dresser but I do wear her discarded panties to hold my diapers in place or to quite the crinkle when she is around. I may have more panties then her.

As other have said if you want her it may be a good time to shelf the toys and pay attention to her. In all likelihood she will swing the other way again soon as long as the trail stays open.

Good luck man!

[Diapers4Me]

So what has happened since?

[Toddler Pampers]

Long OP, so maybe I missed something trying to get through it all.

Why would you move out, and sleep in your car, just because you wife wants you to? Let's see, all you did to piss her off was give her a nice big erection. So you said to her that the diaper did it. Don't you think you really didn't need to, that is, you weren't telling her anything she didn't already know?!

Assuming this is a true story, I'd hang it on Facebook, and reconnecting with old (male) friends. You said she was bored. Maybe an affair resulted. But again, why are you the one having to move out? Put your man pants back on for a minute.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Well the apt is in Mia's name, however like I told her already, my bed, my dollars if we fight, her ass is on the couch.

[diaprbayb]

it's not good,but not ready to talk about it yet

[Mary-Ann]

I am really sorry this is happening diaper baybe

what ever happen in the end , counseling is a good idea even if it is not marriage counseling . you can go to a counselor just for you .

do your kids know about the diapers and cross dressing ? could your wife or her mother be upset about something to do with the kids ? how long have you been out of the house ? if it's been a week or more i think it's time you went back . just stay out of her way . she is abuse you to force you to be homeless .

And you can always come to daily diapers .

[babylin]

Yes, there is no pretty typing in this thread.

Many of you know my story, maybe not. I have been into crossdressing and ABDL for 36 years now. I have been married for for what may not be 21 years next week. Not my wife knew about the crossdressing and the diapers before we were married. In fact she gave me my first real cloth diapers, Adult size.

Maybe the dreaded female hormone problems of menopause have hit your wife square on?

Your kids must be near grown. Encourage your wife to go back to college and re-enter the working world.

Going your separate ways after twenty plus years of togetherness is woefully painful, but maybe for the best in the long run.

Stop punishing yourself for family interference in your marriage!

Best wishes. Please keep us posted.

[diaprbayb]

i decided to update this thread today. it has been awhile. I have been back at home many years ago. I have ourged all my "outfits", books and all. 

like my profile says I went back into the closet. i always checked in here . loved the stories. 

I won't go into the long boring details. the reason I am here is say

My wife bought me a pair of panties today!

 

 

 

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

This was a bit long and convoluted, but from what I can get from it, there is enough toxicity here to drop a T-Rex. Time for a reckoning to clear the air. You may not like the answer, but it will be the same whether you know it or not. At least this way, it will be settled and not eat away at your gut 24/7 and you can reclaim your life. She sounds like either a manipulatress, keeping you on the hook, or a Narcissist. You might consider a lawyer, she will pull this crap as long as she gets away with it. You have to either fish or cut bait, or as they say "shit or get off the pot". This does not end well, which she can end any time she wants on her terms with you being the viction, or you can end it and have it be less of a disaster. Right now, all that is left is the cuck. This almost looks like the Sissy LARP undergoing a Zimbardo Transformation wheirein it becomes part of real life

[NotGrownUp]

15 hours ago, Little Christine said:

This was a bit long and convoluted, but from what I can get from it, there is enough toxicity here to drop a T-Rex. Time for a reckoning to clear the air. You may not like the answer, but it will be the same whether you know it or not. At least this way, it will be settled and not eat away at your gut 24/7 and you can reclaim your life. She sounds like either a manipulatress, keeping you on the hook, or a Narcissist. You might consider a lawyer, she will pull this crap as long as she gets away with it. You have to either fish or cut bait, or as they say "shit or get off the pot". This does not end well, which she can end any time she wants on her terms with you being the viction, or you can end it and have it be less of a disaster. Right now, all that is left is the cuck. This almost looks like the Sissy LARP undergoing a Zimbardo Transformation wheirein it becomes part of real life

If uou look, this is a decade-old situation which he seems to have resolved in the interirm, if not without cost.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

9 minutes ago, NotGrownUp said:

If uou look, this is a decade-old situation which he seems to have resolved in the interirm, if not without cost.

until the next thing flares up. This has been a tale of things popping up over about 21 years. Why should it stop any time soon?

[NotGrownUp]

7 minutes ago, Little Christine said:

until the next thing flares up. This has been a tale of things popping up over about 21 years. Why should it stop any time soon?

If it does it does, but it looks like they might be moving towards a healthier place - if not,, then perhpas it will fall apart on it's own. 

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

15 minutes ago, NotGrownUp said:

If it does it does, but it looks like they might be moving towards a healthier place - if not,, then perhpas it will fall apart on it's own. 

Unless they are seeing a marriage counsellor, 21 years of habit does not just go away. The title has the tone of the feeling of betrayal. . If it was solved, why bring it up and go through such agonizing detail. It has all the earmarks of  something still simmering

[NotGrownUp]

3 hours ago, Little Christine said:

Unless they are seeing a marriage counsellor, 21 years of habit does not just go away. The title has the tone of the feeling of betrayal. . If it was solved, why bring it up and go through such agonizing detail. It has all the earmarks of  something still simmering

It was solved since he orignallu posted it.  Or at least, he's settled for keeping that side of him hidden. Perhaps not the healthiest, but if it works for them...

[Little_Diaperoo_Matty]

I agree with you both at points. NotGrownUP is right in that  it has been a long time since OP told us the story.  A lot has happened that we don't know. about. Also, Little Rubber Christine is also right. His wife is going  to eventually do this again. That is because if you read the story again, things went south for OP when the wife got too stressed out due to not working (no social life not healthy, facebook doesn't count), her mother was causing issues probable because the mother was just a dick anyways, brother had moved into the house, and who knows what else. I think the OP knew this from the start and due to the kids and him caring for his wife he toughed it out for however long he had too. Now here is the biggest issue, unless she has learned how to cope with stress this situation is just another ticking bomb. Frankly, OP if your wife gets super stressed for what ever reason and does that crap again you should tell her straight up to stop  or you are taking your stuff and leaving. Then actually do it . Turn the the situation into your best friend treating you like she did. Would you let your best friend keep doing it  or would you tell them screw off for a while until they got their stuff together.

 

Now to get ff my diapered little soap box and get back to having fun.  I'm glad to hear that your wife seems to coming back around. That is AWESOME! I would only like to suggest that you both sit down and set limits so when either of you get stressed out you end up working together. What I mean as for the when she is stressed because life happens she uses  a code word word or say I need a week of you not wearing diapers or panties (must be a set time, she is okay with it but cant be supportive in that area when things pushes her to much which is fine until she destroys your stuff), but she has to go for a walk or gym or something to help with the stress. Also, she has to agree to not purge your stuff when she get mad for whatever reason, because frankly if it was me and she did it again I would go in the back yard start a small fire, grab a ton of her clothes while she was watching, and head towards the fire. Before I put her stuff on the fire, I would tell her this is your only choice and you got 2 mins to decide. You either apologize and she throws and item of hers on the fire for every item of yours that she had done to yours. Or I would toss it all on to the fire and kick her the hell out.

P.S. Replace her name with your best friend and it is easy to see how much she been a total dick to you at times and did things that were never right in the first place.