This Is It

[Horndog]

For the past few weeks, people have been sending me private messages asking about my whereabouts and I haven't answered any of them.

The truth is, I'm now posting actively on ADISC.

My controversial thread, "Dealing With Severely Mentally Ill Members" left a bad taste in my mouth. I saw members that did not simply misunderstand, they wanted to misunderstand. It's so much easier to kill the messenger than read the message. Then I got threats from members. Nothing gets done. No rules are put in place -- and by the end of the day, I feel unwelcome. However, there have been some really nice people I've met on here who have supported and continue to support me. I can't hold a grudge with this site because I met some great people here. I like DailyDi and Repaid1. I wish them well.

I may come back once I see DailyDi put some rules in place. Until then, I'll see you guys later.

[Sophie ♥]

You'll be missed, ridiculously.

-Sophie

[square_duck]

Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, and let a few people make unimportant threats and such. Granted there are empty people around who feel they have the right to kick others around when something happens they don't like or what not, but this is the internet, I take threats very lightly, since basically no one knows who I really am or where I am etc, so who cares>?? FUCK 'EM if they can't handle a post you made...BFD

But, anyways, sorry you feel you have to leave because a few people got under your skin...I pop into ADISC now and again...*shrug* might bump into each other....

I also doubt that DD will be implementing any kind of Rules or such about something like this, as there is only so much you can do. Report the people who emailed you and threatened you...forward copies of the questionable emails, see if you can have them censured or placed in a 1 week quarantine or something. All you can really do is ask.

Anyways ....C-ya round

qwack

[Repaid1]

The Thread of which you speak had me quite busy. I understand your frustration. The thing is if you are dealing with people who have a mental issue or at least a perceived one, you can't honestly expect a rational conversation in the end. Further more the post above is the first I heard about actual Threats. I would be greatly interested to see or know what you mean by that.

I am quite sure if members within this community have wished you harm in person, or in a pm or email Daily or myself would be quite interested in such knowledge. The typical name calling not so much.

I liken this site and others to a personal life knowledge. I live in a section of town that has a main street (it is actually "Main Street"). On this street there are about 10 bars along a route of say 4 miles. Each bar has it's regulars. those that "hang" out for the most part just at that bar. There are others that are what I call the "hoppers" they go to who has the best entertainment that night or just jumping around through the night looking for some new excitement. Then you have the troublemakers, these range from those who knowingly are going to cause trouble eventually. Or those that can't have but so many drinks and will cause trouble. These type of people are generally barred from the general string of bars with one or two bars that still tolerate them up to a point, then kick them out.

It's then that they no longer have a place to go. So they leave the community locally and travel into another. Then someone will sell a bar or open a new one and "Poof" the less than desirable ones have their own bar back in our community. That is because the community of people from the other bars will not go to the new bar because of them. The business usually fails within a couple of months.

I am one of the lucky few. I am well liked for the most part at ALL the bars, but I do have a "home" bar. I feel better when I am at my home base but not uncomfortable at the others.

I can come and go as I please, I have never had the "Bar Hammer". So if your following all this drivel, be quite sure that if need be... I will "Bar" from this site, the less than desirable ones can go find somewhere else to drink!

[Bettypooh]

....if you are dealing with people who have a mental issue or at least a perceived one, you can't honestly expect a rational conversation in the end....

That is the very reason I stayed away from that thread for the most part. It didn't help that there was anger in some posts where the person(s) posting would have been better off waiting before replying to let those strong feelings subside so that the debate didn't turn into an argument

I liken this site and others to a personal life knowledge. I live in a section of town that has a main street (it is actually "Main Street"). On this street there are about 10 bars along a route of say 4 miles. Each bar has it's regulars. those that "hang" out for the most part just at that bar. There are others that are what I call the "hoppers" they go to who has the best entertainment that night or just jumping around through the night looking for some new excitement. Then you have the troublemakers, these range from those who knowingly are going to cause trouble eventually. Or those that can't have but so many drinks and will cause trouble. These type of people are generally barred from the general string of bars with one or two bars that still tolerate them up to a point, then kick them out.

It's then that they no longer have a place to go. So they leave the community locally and travel into another. Then someone will sell a bar or open a new one and "Poof" the less than desirable ones have their own bar back in our community. That is because the community of people from the other bars will not go to the new bar because of them. The business usually fails within a couple of months.

I am one of the lucky few. I am well liked for the most part at ALL the bars, but I do have a "home" bar. I feel better when I am at my home base but not uncomfortable at the others.

I can come and go as I please, I have never had the "Bar Hammer". So if your following all this drivel, be quite sure that if need be... I will "Bar" from this site, the less than desirable ones can go find somewhere else to drink!

Hmmm, I may have been to your town once- or at least one like it I visited with some friends once back to their hometown and the bars were like that too. But this was a smaller town and 'cleaning out the bar' was expected every Friday at every bar Nobody cared so long as no permanant harm came to anyone and the bar didn't get damaged At the 5th or 6th bar (I can't count when I'm drunk) my friends said that the next one was likely going to get us into a fight so they asked if I wanted to skip it. I thought that was nice of them and wanting to be just as nice I told them "He!! no, we're going in and we're doing the cleaning if you want to. It might even be fun!" Somehow the three of us were ready and imposing enough so that the three guys they had problems with at that bar stayed on their stools in verbal mode so we had a few more beers and left for the next bar without a fight

That was a past life I will never revisit, a memory of someone who once was but is now gone and replaced by a much nicer and happier me- as I really am

This does point out one thing in particular to me though- we're losing a lot of what I feel were basically good people from here. Maybe their exits haven't all been this dramatic but they're gone nonetheless and I am not the only one missing them It's hard to balance freedom with the need for rules so that everyone can get along together without stepping on someone else's toes inadvertantly, but when you allow such toe-stepping to be done with obvious intent, you are creating the imbalance yourself. I will not claim to have the full answers, for I am not that wise and I know it, but I am wise enough to see that some things are wrong and to know what they are and why it is that way. Those things are fixable if someone cares to fix them. It is not my place to demand that it happen, nor to do the work it will take. I try to maintain my own self-control so that nobody else will have to put out that effort over me to keep me in line. It just pains me greatly to see the marvelous potential this site once exemplified fade away due to what I see as a lack of willingness by the Admin to tackle tough matters before they get out of hand, thus preventing anyone else from doing anything effective either. It's plainly obvious that many people will not make the effort to get along with each other (here or in RL) unless there's some mechanism in place to make them do that. Banning is severe yet necessary for some people- the rest of us can learn with less harsh teaching techniques if they will be applied fairly. And that, my dear friend, is one thing that does happen here- I have yet to see one example of prejudice or special treatment and that is very rare and very commendable. It's just that all by itself, that's not quite enough to do the job

Good things take effort and remain good only to the level that effort is maintained at. Nobody ever said it was going to be easy keeping something good and if they did, they lied!

C U Later Dirty Rocker- I may add myself over there too, it's not such a bad place overall from what my lurking has shown. I don't plan to leave here altogether but that decision rests in someone else's hands, and time will tell what happens to me and my place in life here.

Bettypooh

[belinda_sue_fox]

Wonder what new rules ADISC will be needing.

[Horndog]

Repaid1:

I mentioned earlier -- in the thread I was referring to -- that there were threats. I would basically get one threat a day. Obviously, people don't know me personally and I've been very careful to keep my personal life separate from my posting activity in these communities but they were violent in tone and I felt, "If this is how you deal with people who disagree with you, then I'll simply remove myself from this hostile environment." I have a few e-mail addresses, but I don't know who the members are specifically. I have an idea who they are because their unique pattern of poor spelling and grammar is often a dead giveaway. I would get e-mails like, "If you call us 'retards,' I'm going to cut your dick off," and stuff that was purely inane. And no, I don't mind people calling me names, but things seem to be going downhill and fast as far as civility is concerned.

It is a heartbreaking decision that I had to make: to not post on this site. Seeing the support that I've received from this thread alone, I'm even more torn than I was before. The only solace that I can find in making my decision is the fact that I have a difficult time relating to some of the discussions and subject matter. I want to contribute, but I feel that I'm forcing myself to. When I see threads like, "Do they provide diapers in mental institutions?" and "Have you tried to pretend that you're dead in front of your dog?" I'm at a loss of words. Those threads tend to linger and the thread creators are encouraged by others to contribute in that fashion. At ADISC, I see a lot of similar threads, but the message boards are active so you see a more active fluctuation of threads going around -- and I rarely lurk without posting in some thread somewhere. Maybe the problem is that this site isn't active enough, I don't know.

I've tried to generate content for the site by creating some engaging discussion, but the last time I tried doing that, I was widely criticized for the subject matter. It only takes a minute to call a name and be disrespectful, but it takes much longer to analyze and disclose rational thought. I see very little measurable output every time I put in a considerable amount of input. In other words, I feel like I've wasted a lot of time.

[aleyxsis]

can u say attitude problem!!! so young and know it all good luck im old and stupid

[FretaBWet]

It's unfortunate you feel the need to leave this site. I will be one of the members here who will miss seeing your input. I can respect your decision because it's your decision based on your feelings and there's just no way to debate that. I will leave you with this one thought however. Leaving because you feel you must is unfortunate but staying away because you don't want to admit it was a mistake to leave would be tragic. I hope to see you back.

Hugs,

Freta

[sarah_ab]

I liken this site and others to a personal life knowledge. I live in a section of town that has a main street (it is actually "Main Street"). On this street there are about 10 bars along a route of say 4 miles. Each bar has it's regulars. those that "hang" out for the most part just at that bar. There are others that are what I call the "hoppers" they go to who has the best entertainment that night or just jumping around through the night looking for some new excitement. Then you have the troublemakers, these range from those who knowingly are going to cause trouble eventually. Or those that can't have but so many drinks and will cause trouble. These type of people are generally barred from the general string of bars with one or two bars that still tolerate them up to a point, then kick them out.

funny when i read this i looked at the join dates of those the OP had problems with, and then the join date of the OP... now who are the regulars and who are the trouble makers? here for less than a year and already insisting rules be put in place....

just saying it how i interpret it.....

and "Have you tried to pretend that you're dead in front of your dog?"

of course if you read the replies you would see that a lot of members here HAD done similar things... members who have been around for years and have a positive reputation and are known for contributing in constructive ways to this site.....

dude there are literally thousands of threads on this site... why not do what the rest of us do... read the ones that interest us, respond when we feel like we have something to say, and the rest of the stuff, just ignore...

i mean my lord no one is asking you to force yourself to read and respond to every thread... and if you post your opinoin on something you HAVE to be able to accept that not everyone is going to agree with it, and that people are going to tell you what they think of your opinion... welcome my dear, to the way much of life works, whether it is online or offline...

[Horndog]

here for less than a year and already insisting rules be put in place....

Gee, like hundreds of thousands of web communities don't already have rules in place?

dude there are literally thousands of threads on this site... why not do what the rest of us do... read the ones that interest us, respond when we feel like we have something to say, and the rest of the stuff, just ignore...

i mean my lord no one is asking you to force yourself to read and respond to every thread... and if you post your opinoin on something you HAVE to be able to accept that not everyone is going to agree with it, and that people are going to tell you what they think of your opinion... welcome my dear, to the way much of life works, whether it is online or offline...

See my previous post and read it carefully.

I'll make my post short for you.

There's not much activity on this site and the dumb threads (imo) are left prominently on the forums.

And you wonder why DD was targeted on Digg.com as one of the biggest laughing stocks on the Internet?

(that was posted a little more than a day ago)

Here is the original article.

And true, I don't know it all, but what I do know is what's best for myself -- and what's best is for me to take a bow.

[Dougie]

Good luck on whatever you do.

[sarah_ab]

umm i think dd is the biggest laughing stock, because adults getting off wearing diapers is funny!

just like to some people adults dressing up at animals and 'scritching' is funny.

or to some people, a person rubbing their genitalia on a balloon to get off is funny.

hey i'm not trying to get you to stay, if you want to leave, then go, and i hope you find a place that can cater to your every desire for strict stringent rules.

[baby-dandan]

Good riddance and don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!