Overt Woman Ab/Dl

[ThomasInWVa]

There is a woman in the area I’m not sure how to describe. She obviously wears diapers – that’s the part I’ll explain. She is in her mid to late 20’s. She is what I would describe as homely, not unattractive but not cute or anything. Her build is average but not slim. Not fat but not shapely either. I would say a bit frumpy if you understand. I first noticed her over 3 years ago in WalMart. I’ve seen her in other stores and places every so often. At first she was with an older woman I took to be her mother. Upon seeing them together the first time I had the idea that she was mildly retarded or otherwise developmentally challenged. Today I had a chance to talk to her for a bit. She isn’t developmentally challenged by a long shot. While she certainly has serious emotional issues, it is clear that she is some sort of AB/DL.

In all the times I have seen her, she is always wearing something that not only doesn’t disguise the fact she is wearing a diaper, but makes it obvious. When I first saw her, she was wearing form hugging sweat pants that completely showed she was wearing a diaper. The pink plastic pants exposed at the top by her short top was also just as obvious. It was the blatant obviousness that made me think her mental age was much younger. Especially since her mother was there.

Over the years I’ve notice her in other tight or revealing clothes including a near see-through dress that made the diaper obvious. And she was certainly using it. If you were close enough you would be able to smell the smell that only comes from wearing a cloth diaper over time.

Today I ran into her at Starbucks and she was talking to one of the clerks about college. It seems that Ms AB/DL has a degree in communications. She was completely negative. There was no way to get a job, rents were too high “nobody” was hiring, etc. I was able to jump in and find out that she never really tried to get a job or move out. She is just one of those who never had to really try and live on their own. Somehow along the line I’m guessing that she just became a very overt AB/DL in the process.

I can’t describe how obvious she is about wearing and using a diaper while appearing as though she isn’t, if you know what I mean. It is like a guy with a bad comb-over except that I’m convinced that she wants people to notice the diaper. Next time I see her, I think I’m going to say something about it just to see how she reacts.

Have you ever seen the cougar who walks around with the super obvious camel-toe? Its something like that but even more so.

Very strange to say the least.

[timmyc]

so introduce yourself and make some conversation, she could be an interesting chat.

[curiositykilledthecat]

. She is what I would describe as homely, not unattractive but not cute or anything. Her build is average but not slim. Not fat but not shapely either. I would say a bit frumpy if you understand.

Very strange to say the least.

You described 3/4 of west virginia.

I kid, I kid.

[sarah_ab]

hahha not sure i understand the point of trhis thread

but maybe the woman isn't her mother but her 'mommy'?

[beetle99]

I almost got my Aspie-dar up and running. LOL! I say, go and ask her out for a coffee sometimes, and chat with her. Should be interesting.

[CBD]

Hm, this is kind of a sad story. She sounds pretty lonely. I think you've got a good idea bringing it up to her next time you see her. It almost seems like she's waiting for someone to notice she's ABDL and ask her about it.

[toddmdl]

I would get to know her first(if you actually want to) and talk to her about anything else that doesn't have to do with ABDL or diapers. Then at some point bring it up if she's comfortable with you. I suggest this because if you just straight up ask her about what she's wearing it will look pretty obvious that you're only talking to her because of what she's wearing underneath her clothes.

[Darkfinn]

There was no way to get a job, rents were too high “nobody

[rusty pins]

Consider all possibilities before striking up a diaper conversation. She may be incontinent as some have said, but I would think that an incontinent person would try and hide as much as possible the fact that they wear diapers. It's also possible that her mother has her so much under her thumb that she has been in diapers all her life, as a kid, teenager and has been treated so most of her life. With a dominating mother, it's quite possible she has just gotten use to being treated like a baby with obvious diapers and feels it's just normal for her. Just take it easy with her and if you have to say something about diapers, take it slow and be careful.

[wolverine0012000]

in my part of the world work expierence trumps schooling by a long shot. i never had any post high school education save on teh job training. i currently make more than 90% of my high school class. plus i dont have four+ years of college debt hanging over my head. yeah a degree is great. but when it doesnt get you anything, why spend four years and countless thousands for it? everybody is told you HAVE to go to four year school to be able to make something of yourself, when in reality a good portion of those who go to school would be better off finding employment and learning by doing.

[sarah_ab]

whic is why many college programs now require students to do an internship... so you HAVE experience in your chosen profession.... and many of those internships can lead to a job after graduation...

also there is a reason more people chose to go back to school during a recession... because there are no jobs... so go back to school get better educated, and then when you graduate the market may have recovered and there will be more jobs you are qualified for... if the market hasn't recovered... go on to grad school!

[tris]

. . . and take on more unneeded debt? Meanwhile, you still hafta work, but it's probably not in your chosen field. Once again, you could have had better experiences somewhere else, and not incurred student loans you'll be paying on until you retire. At what point do you hafta do the math and figure that by the time you've maxed out your schooling, you'll be paying student loans for the majority of your career? I don't know about y'all, but I hope to be solvent ten years after I'm done with school, preferably sooner.

And so all these unemployed people have gone back to school -- great. So now all of you are overqualified and still unemployed. In addition to having no job, you've just added more debt on the premise that you'll somehow snag a 'better' job when you're out. I just don't see the advantage -- everyone has now moved up a level in education and qualifications, but, since EVERYONE has done it, the playing field is still level; the only difference is that they've each paid to play.

Once jobs, services, and products have been outsourced, you can't just bring them back. I mean, who wants to pay more, when you've been paying less? And your only selling point is patriotism (Buy USA made!) -- sorry, Rollbacks are gonna win every time.

Personally, I think greater taxes, penalties, and tariffs should be imposed on 'American' businesses who do not have their headquarters within the jurisdiction of the United States. Frequently, corporations will move their headquarters offshore in order to mitigate some, if not all, of their tax liability. Perhaps if Americans were made to pay more for products that were not 'Made in the USA', we might be more inclined to buy American. I'm no economist, clearly, but, forcing our country into sustainable solvency just might pay off in the long term.

[d_drew12]

And so all these unemployed people have gone back to school -- great. So now all of you are overqualified and still unemployed. In addition to having no job, you've just added more debt on the premise that you'll somehow snag a 'better' job when you're out. I just don't see the advantage -- everyone has now moved up a level in education and qualifications, but, since EVERYONE has done it, the playing field is still level; the only difference is that they've each paid to play.

But tris, if you don't go to college then and go to the "level" of playing field you talk about, then you are underneith everyone else.

Often through grants and scholorships you can get a lot of the schooling paid for and you don't have to take on a full load. You can take some night classes, maybe a couple credits per semester and get some education that will allow you to get a better job down the road. Especially if you're young, what's 50k in educational expenses when you have a lifetime to pay them back? A drop in the bucket.

Anyway, I do agree with you about outsourcing. Problem is it's customer driven. People are so price concerned that they buy the cheapest and expect the cheapest and the only way for companies to do it is to outsource. If people were okay paying the "American" price, the Wal-marts of the world would have to close their doors and force people to pay what they should be but that's not what's going to happen. Prices have not kept up with inflation and it's not all due to better mfg and efficiency. It's because consumers set the price of what they're willing to pay. They don't want to pay anything because they don't get paid anything but at the same time they're working the job that's not getting paid anything because people don't want to pay anything for what they work for to produce. It's a vicious cycle.

Anyway, back on topic, like others have said, maybe she's really incontinent and doesn't care if you know it. Kind of like how some people go through cancer treatement and loose their hair. Some will try and hide it with hats and scarfs while others are like "look at me, I have cancer and don't care what you think about me".

It would be interesting to friend this person and honestly if she's that obvious about wearing diapers, I'd probably sooner than later bring up that elephant in the room because otherwise she may be wondering what your deal is since it is so obvious. It may open up some doors and you can tell her about yourself and confide in each other.

[timmyc]

make casual conversation, be friendly, see if she mentions anything, maybe after couple of latte's excuse yourself to go pee, maybe throw in a do you need to too.....

compliment her outfit, see if her eyes shift at all

don't just go for the diaper angle or trying to force an instant relationship, just talk causally and see what comes up

[Darkfinn]

Once jobs, services, and products have been outsourced, you can't just bring them back. I mean, who wants to pay more, when you've been paying less? And your only selling point is patriotism (Buy USA made!) -- sorry, Rollbacks are gonna win every time.

That's not entirely true. The trend is slowly shifting towards moving production and services back to the US because of quality issues. The prices may be higher, but if you don't have to worry about lead in the toys and poison in the food it becomes worth the sacrifice. Add to that many companies that are bringing their call centers back from places like India because of heavy customer complaints and things will eventually turn around. It'll never be the 50's again... but we can certainly aspire to take things back to a 1990's level.

I will agree that we need to charge higher import tariffs and demand more equality in the market, but China currently has us by the balls (they are the #1 buyer of US debt) so the govt. isn't going to stand up to them at all. We need to end NAFTA (responsible for sending tons of jobs to Mexico) and demand fair entry into the Japanese car market. I've never understood how that was worked out anyways... the Japs are allowed to sell their cars here, but we can't sell ours over there. It's just not right.

[Darkfinn]

But tris, if you don't go to college then and go to the "level" of playing field you talk about, then you are underneith everyone else.

You'd think it would work that way... but you'd be wrong.

The way things are right now the majority of the young work force has a 4-year college degree. The effect this has really had on the employment situation is to make a 4-year degree absolutely worthless because everybody has one. So now, people fresh out of college with a 4-year degree are competing for the same jobs with people who skipped or left college and have 2-4 years of work experience under their belts. College may say that you can think for yourself... but work experience says you know how to follow orders, and most employers are looking for entry level people who will work their ass off and do what they are told.

So now, the only way for a college grad to get ahead is to go back for another 2-4 years and get a graduate degree. Except the numbers of people with graduate degrees are on the rise now too, so soon enough a Master's degree will be equal to a Bachelor's degree will be equal to a HS diploma... and since college loans have become a lucrative money-making business with their 10%+ interest rates, you are going to spend lots of money paying off this grand education of yours... with squat to show for it.

[Guest Wetnmessy247]

If you do in fact confront this woman, don't admit you have seen here in many places, at many different points in time. Saying this will alway lead to one logical conclusion: stalking.

Approach her as if it were the first time you have seen her, strike up convoand be friendly. Who knows, maybe you two will become diaper friends and change each other.

Kidding about the last of course.

But yea, just act natural. What can go wrong?

[sarah_ab]

course then there are those of us who just enjoy going to school and taking classes

[tris]

@DFinn,

Finally, someone else who sees it the way it really is! The "Bachelor's becoming the new HS diploma" is spot on, and most likely where the job market is going, sadly. Would we all be so patriotic once we realize that we've classed ourselves out of our own jobs and livelihoods?

However, with Master's degrees on the rise, so are their salaries. Unless the commonly-considered value and compensation levels of Master's degrees are lowered, this will affect prices on products and services rendered.

I think people have lost respect for the elitist nature of education. By sending nearly every high school graduate to college, you're severely cheapening the value of education. Let's face it -- college wasn't intended for everybody. Only in the last 30 years has so much emphasis been placed on students going on to college. Private schools use their matriculation rates as a selling point, and public schools use them to justify themselves (and their once-again-outstretched hands) to everybody -- from Parents to School Board Members to Real Estate Agents -- all of them Taxpayers. Every High School in America has now become not just a basic education institution, it's now a Sales Associate for nearly every University in existence.

Colleges are still a business, like anything else. They are many things, and a not-for-profit organization isn't one of them. Like any good business, they recognized flaws in their strategies, and realized that a larger market base equals larger profits. Colleges weren't always intended to be for everybody, though. In past years, only the especially bright (and usually affluent) children were considered college-bound. Despite the obvious financial ability of the wealthy consumers, it was still only a limited selection of the overall population. I don't hafta explain why limiting your customer base isn't the best move you could make. Now in many other cases, by increasing your production and thereby flooding the market with your product -- college grads -- , your product is devalued by the sheer supply. Therefore, what people will pay for your product (College graduate's salary) will naturally decline. When the value of your product declines, so do your profits -- what future customers are willing to pay in tuition. But what's unique to the college game is that this doesn't apply, or hasn't taken effect yet. People are still willing to fork over (or borrow) upward of 100k to attend college on the premise that they will secure a job paying at least that much after obtaining their degree. Remember, now we're making sure that all the average (and even below-average) students get a shot at going to college -- not just the exceptional ones.

However, with the production rates so high (number of people in school), my concern is now about the quality of the end result. Only now that everybody gets pushed to go, you're using cheaper quality (Average students) materials for your product. Before, when colleges were still exclusive to those who were appropriate, the materials were of higher quality, and so was the end result --something our country is riding on right now. However, because humans do have a shelf-life, in addition to being rather fragile creatures by nature; we're going to need a continuous supply of fresh product. But now that we're using less-quality materials, and producing lesser quality results, how can we still expect to sustain ourselves at the same level?

The college business is flourishing in many unique ways, due in part to the service they provide for the consumer (student), though they're starting to seem more like an insurance racket.

But then again, the truly elite -- those who have been around a while, like Stanford, Harvard, Yale, or Cambridge can still produce not only a higher quality product, but a Brand Name product that's in higher demand, and highest compensated. Further proof that those who've been doing this a while produce better products and provide a better insurance to those who qualify to purchase. The difference in quality of the product depends on where you bought it and what you paid for it. Not all degrees are created equal.

So perhaps it's still:

Experience: 1 Education: 0

Why take on more debt? Just get good at something!

[curiositykilledthecat]

unless your going into a tech position,a degree is still required at many companies to be even considered. You can have eight years experience but if ytou don't meet the degree requirement, your not getting looked at. Unless you want to be an HVAC or do Car Repair, i.e. tech school stuff, then not having any formal education isn't going to help. The biggest issue right now is that there are more unemployed people than jobs available. There's a reason that unemployment is being extended by 99 weeks. The economy sucks and all these affirmative action laws are biting everyone in the ass now. Companies have the pick of the litter and are going to higher whoever is the cheapest to employ. Thus if you're not the right color of the rainbow you're not a tax write-off thus not getting the position.(Friends with the president and vice president of a local shredding company and both confirmed that this has become hiring standard with most businesses right now.) Go to three different Aldi's open house hiring events and submit a resume with more education and more experience than 75% of the people there and still get nothing. Walk into a local aldi's and you'll know why. Not saying it's wrong, just laughing at all the laws that have now created the problem. I think it's wrong to employ or fire an employee for anything other than performance/qualifications and being the right color of the rainbow shouldn't be a qualification. Not playing race card, as many people tend to do on either side when they don't get there way, I just notice a trend and call em like I see em. I'm glad people are at least able to get work. It's bad enough that companies know the economy sucks and tend to grab their employees by the proverbial balls. My father is stuck in a situation like that at the local manufacturing plant he works at. Even DW gets treated like grbage and threatened to be fired where she works and she's in the top 3 of her group.

My biggest problem is I have a shit ton of Customer Service experience, I hate it, the companies suck and the clientele are all idiots. I have a degree in Communications, so now even though I'm trying to fall back on what I know, i.e. CSR, I get denied because they want someone who they think is going to invest their life into it. My degree is now a penalty? What a crock of shit. If business gets tight, my ass is out the door, yet you demand a life long commitment out of people? I just applied for a p/t tech position at a local media provider, i.e. Tribune Media. Hopefully it's low end enough that my lack of experience can get me in the door. I have plenty of internships and private experience, it's just I piked wrong field for a bad economy.

[d_drew12]

Curiosity said about exactly what I wanted to. A lot of tech school jobs you either need a degree for or not.

All I know is my job, my wifes job, many family and friends that all went to college, had to go to college to get their job. Now, I do have a few friends and relatives that went to school for several years and are not working at all in that field so that was a waste. Also, you have to be smart enough to take a look at the field you're going into and determine whether or not getting a degree to get that job is worth it. If you go to school for 2 or 4 years at a university for a job that pays $15/hr and little room for advancement then you are a fool unless it's something you really wanted to do for the rest of your life and college was the only way to get the job. You could have easily saved your tuition money and got a job paying the same a little less or more without the hassle or expense of college.

The other side is that there are plenty of jobs that require no degree and pay better than jobs with a degree. Like I said though, if you need to get a degree though to get into the line of work you desire and want to work for the rest of your life or quite a while anyway, then college is the route you go. My wife loves her job and gets paid pretty decent too. The only way to get it was to go to college so that's what she did. Had she not, she'd probably be at her last job which paid decent especially for no college degree but she'd be making about 15k less per year. Considering she went to a tech school and got the degree in two years, while still working full time at the other job and living at home paying little rent and later with me, and only forked out about 10k for tuition, that's not too bad. Easilyt requiped her expenses of college, loves her job and it's paying well. Others in the same field she's in, have the same job, everything, some went to a 4 year university to get the same degree and spent five times as much and some didn't work at all during that time either so the didn't pay for anything as they went along. That's the one thing I don't like but it's buyer beware too. There are many colleges that tell you to get a 2 or 4 year degree and that going to a university or state college or even private college will land you a better job than some tech school will. Well, maybe for some jobs it's true but I'd say most it isn't. You all wind up in the same place, 4 year U. grad vs a 2 year tech grad, making the same money at the same place. True for me, and my wifes job. I spent probably around 12k for my tuition while others I know literally spent 100k!!! It's their problem for getting sucked into the University and not looking at other options.

Anyway, there a plenty of jobs like a mechanic, you can get having a degree or not it just depends on who you'll be working for. Experience sometimes outways education. I'd say though of the people I know that chose college and careers over jobs out of high school, college degree income waaaaaaaay out weighs the other. At first some of the jobs friends, family, etc. got out of school didn't pay that much more than the non college family, friends but it didn't take long and the college degree peoples pay accelerated way faster than the non college degrees who were left with minimal cost of living raises.

Anyway, my two cents.

[Diaper Mike 05]

Too many jobs right now require much more education than they really need to actually do the job. I got my Associates Degree in Drafting Technology which means I went to school to learn to use drafting programs (I learned AutoCAD and 3DSolidworks, and graduated just before they started offering courses for Inventor). I learned the proper way to create prints, geometric dimensioning and tolerencing, BOM's, and how to design parts based on manufacturing and function. Usually a draftsman won't do much in the way of actual engineering, but in the manufacturing of commercial parts, it isn't hard to learn. Yet, most companies would rather underpay an overqualified Mechanical or Manufacturing Engineer for these positions (more on this later - it gets good).

I'm lucky in the fact that my 2-year degree worked for me in my last 2 jobs - they didn't want someone taking over engineering right from the start and had specific goals in mind when hiring me, which both companies have been very satisfied with (and to answer the question, I was laid off in 2008 after 2-and-a-half years when business slowed down very badly) what I can do from an educational and experience standpoint.

Now, why would they hire me with a 2-year degree over someone with a 4-year engineering degree, but other companies require a 4-year degree for the position? First, like I said, they had their needs and goals in mind for filling the position. Second, and I know this from talking to people, people with 4-year degrees often can't or don't follow the simplest of conventions or rules when it comes to drafting and design. Why do they get hired? They have 4 year degrees. And to be honest, since I did go to a four-year school for a while, I know two things to be facts: 1) all a 4-year degree tells you in a lot of fields is that you put up with 4-years of BS, and 2) even the best students aren't going to necessarily do well in a 4-year school (especially those of us who don't like theories and bookwork over hands-on education).

It is sad that a degree is almost a requirement to be able to get anywhere in the work world anymore. Degrees don't make more qualified workers, they just make more students who can't apply what they learn. And this proliferation of degrees is causing companies to look for those who are overqualified thinking that's what's needed for their position.

And yes, I am in the field I want to be in (we just need business to pick up so I don't have to be a CSR on top of drafting and the other jobs I hold).

[sarah_ab]

actually my university IS a not for profit university....

[tris]

really? check the books. do they have a 501 or 503C? if not, they're bankrolling themselves. education is a business, not an altruistic endeavor.

[WallaWalla]

*snip*

Pro-post.