The Desire Continues!

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

I see some things haven't changed… Some of you may remember me, some may not… I joined DD in January 2006, so a rookie I am not. For more than 30 years I kept my diaper play a secret and I was not aware of others like me. Again, as in past posts, finding DD literally changed my life, and for this, I wanted to give something back. I felt I owed DailyDi at least that much and I also felt I had something to offer the community.

Prior to joining, I just read posts, stories, and browsed through the pictures. I believe I read every post in every forum. When I finally did join, I still didn’t post that much as it was hard for me to open up to others after keeping this secret for so long. When I finally found the courage to start posting, I was careful not to offend and I tried very hard to contribute in a positive way, even if I disagreed with the author’s post. After some time, posting became second nature and I even started visiting the chat room a little. After a few months I started making a few friends on the boards…Dolly, diaprbayb, repaid1, jenniebear, pipsqueak, morv, Pinky, Babylex, and Belinda Sue Fox, to name a few. I can’t express in words how much some of these members meant to me and the strong bonds that formed for a few of us. I knew this was where I wanted to be and I couldn’t get enough. But then something happened…

A new member started posting all over the boards. As one that read every post, I started noticing inconsistencies in this member’s posts and some of the posts were just too outrageous to take serious. Soon members started voicing their opinions and calling this person out. As an active poster, I soon joined in as I felt my support and findings would add justification to their suspicions. It did, of course, but things didn’t get better. In fact, members started taking sides and the negativity just escalated and continued. Both sides had some very prominent members and if the post wasn’t eventually deleted by the mods, the discussion usually ended in stalemate. For me, it was too much, and I left the site.

After several months, I returned with a new outlook. I would try to be more tolerant of others and I even made a post of it. I was so glad to be welcomed back by my friends and I really felt I could start anew. Unfortunately, this member was still around as well, but I ignored this member’s posts, even though others were still challenging this member’s credibility on the boards after all this time. I just concentrated on getting to know my friends better and I started PMing them so we could establish a more personal friendship. I was currently engaged and still am, so I wasn’t looking for anything more than that. Through the next several months, these friendships strengthened and soon I was PMing them all the time and expressing my thoughts to them privately instead of on the boards. I was once again, very grateful to have this opportunity by DailyDi. However, with friendship comes trust and then loyalty soon follows…

Some of my friends were actively challenging this member again due to yet another outrageous post. Everyone has a breaking point and they could not just stand by and let this member infect the rest of the community, especially the newbies. I too felt obligated to join in and dismember this individual once and for all. Unfortunately, things ended up the same way. Members took sides once again and stood fast on their beliefs. Soon the boards were laced with controversy and more and more posts were being deleted as flaming grew to an all time high. Prominent members on both sides lashed out on one another with no end in sight. Finally, this member left, but the victory came at a cost. The community was clearly divided and continued to express their profound beliefs whenever the opportunity presented itself. I too was among those who stood steadfast in a belief that this site had the potential to offer so much more if not for the “attention whores

[Repaid1]

It's post like this that make me proud to be a part of this great site. Thank you so much for including me in your post. What do I say? I don't know? I have seen this site go from top to bottom. I like you, joined this site years ago...I know for a fact I did and do read every post. I got a little indifferent and do tend to skip over the ones that I find (For myself) a little silly. I do sometimes spout off, and I know I shouldn't. I guess it's human nature. For what it's worth I feel like a part of this community, and I see the things of what you speak. I was/am so honored that Mike (Daily Di) asked me to actually join him on his valiant effort in truly joining this, what I consider the truly best site out there for this community.

I have never met the man mind you, but I do consider him my friend. I consider many, and I mean many people on this site my friends. I have met a few of you. Others I wish I could meet. Probably isn't going to happen, but I do have a open invitation.

I watch so much that goes on within this site, so I am not exactly sure of which incident that you are directing this post. I'm pretty sure that I have a good idea though. But I'll let that go at least for now.

What i will do is ask everyone who reads this to understand something. I am known, not just here. I was outed many moons ago. I walk among the "normal" life outside. People I see everyday, know that I wear diapers and to make matters worse also "Think" that they know about my AB side.

I certainly can't say it hasn't affected me, but also it doesn't change the person I am. I do have friends, or at least those I perceive that are. I can't say I truly trust anyone out side this community.

Daily has touched on this before but I will once again reiterate. Times are tough people!! I know this, but please have just a tad more tolerance when you come onto this site. I have known a couple that were together for over 15 years. I thought she knew, but she didn't. Someone referred to me as "Diaper Tim" and she had no clue to as whom they were talking about. I confided in her as to my incontinent status. She was outraged that others would call me that. I trust her for whatever reasons. She has blatantly been outspoken to anyone who uses my "nickname" that seems to be the public norm around me.

I guess I'll close this with a few things. Her boyfriend, her spirit mate, whatever you want to call him, took his own life. I went last night to his viewing. I can't believe this happened. Life really sucked for them for the last year. They had no running water, no gas services. Rent way behind...but yet they put on that they would make it. It started to look like they were. But for whatever reason he choose to believe the world would be better off if he wasn't part of the problem. I'm not sure if he was a problem, or at least the true source of it.

So today is the funeral, not sure if I can take the pain, but I think for her I will go. The person who doesn't judge me for being me. As such I don't judge him for what he has done to her. People..please..young and old, new and veteran of this site..calm down! If you have to vent so be it. Please stop judging people on this site, hell in the world in general. Bite your damn lip, I can't take the pain of losing another friend!

BTW DW, if you read this please activate your photobucket site..I just noticed my banners aren't working!!!

[Codymoogle]

Wow, what a post. I only wish I knew what to say in response. Perhaps I'll edit this later, but for now I will just wish you welcome back, DIAPERPHANTOM (I remember you!), and hope I was not part of the problem with the member you refered to.

Take care,

~ moogle

[DailyDi]

On my way out the door, but wanted to say hello to an old friend

[Junibug 4 Lucy]

i welcome you back...as you can see i am fairly new...but i love this site so much, i would hate for it to be so devided....i have seen some treads that have looked that way and i must say more often than not i think it is best to just dropp it and let us all get on with what is important...making friends and supporting them!!

we all need to rember that!...people come here to get advice when they don't know were to tern, and to make friends with people that they don't have to pretend to or explain everything to every time they want to talk about somthing...

the same topics go round wich is the best nappy, whats best for a rash, should i tell my SO...how to tell them...

these things are vital for people to ask and the more of us there are, who have lived it and been trough it, the better....and to share that valued wisdom that has been given to us is an honour!

i have had a lot of good advise from people on here and am so thakfull...i would be at such a loss without DD, in my short time here i feel like i beong...i have made some good friends that never judge me (and i have an unussal set up)

i don't know were i am going with this post, but i guess i just feel that it would be a shame to be devided like that....

if repaid can do what he is....somthing so painfull for him, but to support a good friend, then we can do somthing so small and just step back if we ever need to!

*hugs*

juniper

xxx

[FretaBWet]

DIAPERPHANTOM I remember you well. I always was impressed with you posts, always welcoming new members and giving sound advice. You were one of my role models when I first joined. Like you I try to avoid conflict but there are times I have been compelled to take a stand. I hope you stay around and give your input, we miss you here. New people are always great and are needed but when long standing valued members leave they also leave a hole behind.

Hugs,

Freta

[BriGuy]

Hey hey welcome back Phantom. Hope you feel comfortable enough to stay, hang out and share your input again. As with any boards drama is always a factor from time to time. I try not to get involved but alas at times it happens. I just try to not let it affect me or my involvement in this community.

Good to see ya posting again.

~Brian

[turtlepins]

It's cool to have you back! Awesome post, by the way! Luv and hugs!

[curiositykilledthecat]

Well I have to say when I first discovered that this whole thing was a fetish I thought everyone on here was nuts. then I decided to take the plunge and start posting and realized that I was the pot calling the kettle black. I've come to see many people on here as friends and a few as almost family. I've never seen you around phantom so from em here's a hearty hello.

[belinda_sue_fox]

Daiperwho, you say.

It's like the old proverb, you can lead a monkey to the fountain of knowledge only to find out hes brought an onion (or was it a turnip).

Now where was i? Oh yes coming round the mountain. Yea i remember you. Wat was your name again Diaperwraith ?

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

It's post like this that make me proud to be a part of this great site.

Thank you for your comments, Repaid1. Keep up the good work! Also, my thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.

Wow, what a post.

Thanks moogles! No, you did not play a role, but you were around as I remember you as well.

On my way out the door, but wanted to say hello to an old friend

Hi DailyDi! I appreciate you taking the time to say hello, old friend. Love what you have done with the site. I don’t know what my future intentions are, but I imagine I will still be around in some small way, always have. Unfortunately, the member I referred to is still around as well, so I hope you will understand my reluctance. I’ll leave it at that…

DIAPERPHANTOM I remember you well. I always was impressed with you posts, always welcoming new members and giving sound advice. You were one of my role models when I first joined. Like you I try to avoid conflict but there are times I have been compelled to take a stand. I hope you stay around and give your input, we miss you here. New people are always great and are needed but when long standing valued members leave they also leave a hole behind. Hugs, Freta

Hi Freta, Your comments touched me very deeply. Thank you for making my day! I’m not sure if we ever corresponded, so that makes it even more meaningful. I do remember you on the boards as well, so I’m glad to see you still around. Again, thank you for the kind remarks.

Hey DIAPERPHANTOM!

Dude! good to see you again! Thats one heck of a post, but one which I completely agree with. qwack

Nice to see you too, Duck! As we share a similar background, we also share a unique perspective. I’m not sure which post is longer, yours or mine, but the time you spent on yours adds value to mine. Thank you! This is also one of my many points. To respond in such a way in itself gives a certain value to the author. When I see the same effort in replies to those that only solicit attention or a prescribed response, it breaks my heart. Newbies are especially vulnerable to this as they just want to fit in and contribute. Unfortunately, those that I speak of know this vulnerability as well and continue to feed off their innocents and gain credibility as a result. I know I shouldn’t let that bother me so much, but it does. Maybe it’s my 22 years of military service that makes me want to protect those that are being taken advantage of, I don’t know. I just know I have little tolerance for it.

Nice to see you too, belinda sue fox! I thought Repaid1 would have banned you by now, for a lack of humor if nothing else. I see you and nemesis are still getting along. Well, at least you can share skirts now from what I’ve read. Of course, I’m just kidding around. BTW, what’s the score? You can PM me on that if you want. Oh, and send pictures if you do...I can’t remember what you looked like.

And thanks to all who have taken the time to read my thread and post, save one!

[diaperpt]

And thanks to all who have taken the time to read my thread and post, save one!

Diaperphantom, I remember you and have missed seeing your posts. Welcome back!! I thought your initial post was great...then I read this last tag on your final reply.

...sigh... it may well be warranted, but it put a tiny chink into your otherwise excellent points.

That being said, I agree about the divisiveness. There have been some pretty nasty posts and replies based on 'just expressing an opinion...' This would be one thing, but in my opinion when the same person responds time after time insisting that they are correct we're beyond opinion into being obnoxious. This is the internet and people do tend to type before engaging whatever brain power they do have. It is a shame. There are posts where I've been tempted to continue to respond only to realize that obviously, either my point is out of line or the person I'm aiming my comments to just isn't ever going to agree. I like to be 'right' at least as much as the next guy and maybe far too much at times. By the same token, while it's taken me far too many years to realize, you don't get to be right by shouting the loudest or longest.

This is a fantastic site and I'm grateful to DD for putting it up and maintaining it (and please don't let your shrink lock you up with or without dipes!!!). I have incredible respect for repaid1 and the fantastic amount of work done on moderating what all too frequently can be a big mess (and sadly, not confined to a diaper!!).

I spend a lot of time here, but probably know people less than I ought to. There are some clear 'good' people and clearly some I'll just try to steer clear of and not make comments to or about. Overall, we are who we are. I'm grateful that we have a community like this and continue to work on my own attitudes and understandings of who we are, why we're here, and how we can best get along without tearing each other's eyes out.

And so, once again, thanks for your comments diaperphantom, and welcome back.

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

i welcome you back...as you can see i am fairly new...but i love this site so much, i would hate for it to be so devided....i have seen some treads that have looked that way and i must say more often than not i think it is best to just dropp it and let us all get on with what is important...making friends and supporting them!!

Hi Junibug 4 Lucy,

Your comments are well thought out and inspiring. I especially agree with a particular part of your post...The most important thing is making friends, supporting each other, and of course, having fun. You maybe fairly new, but you get it. I am normally very selective when I reply if I don't really know the person, but your comments give a lot of weight to my initial thread, so it warranted a special response. Thanks!

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

Hey hey welcome back Phantom. ~Brian

Hi Brian, Thanks for the welcome and comments. I didn't want to group this reply with others as I wanted to convey to you my heartfelt condolences on the passing of your friend, Hydelynn, some time ago. I was not an advocate of her open lifestyle, but I did respect her right to do so. She was an intelligent adversary on many issues concerning our lifestyle that we disagreed on and she tasked me on more than one occasion to defend my beliefs with passion. She also was a tremendous advocate for the lifestyle, and in her own way, was most true to her beliefs. Again, thanks for welcome!

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

Diaperphantom, I remember you and have missed seeing your posts. Welcome back

Hi diaperpt,

Thanks for reading and I appreciate ALL of your comments. Not many are my senior here, so I always take notice when one puts their thoughts on the boards. Your first comment is duly noted. You are right, it does diminish my post a little, but it also sends a message. I have my reasons…and I’ll leave it at that…

I enjoyed reading your comments, and I agree, there are a ton of really good people here. I tend to take a different view point on…this is the internet, but I understand where you are coming from. Though we are not there yet, I believe the community can transcend normal expectations associated with being on the internet because we share something very intimate and personal with each other. That in itself is a special bond that few understand outside the community. It wasn’t that long ago when some thought it too risky to meet others over the internet, but it’s now one of the most common ways to meet your SO. That gives me hope! Again, thanks for your comments!

[Junibug 4 Lucy]

Hi Junibug 4 Lucy,

Your comments are well thought out and inspiring. I especially agree with a particular part of your post...The most important thing is making friends, supporting each other, and of course, having fun. You maybe fairly new, but you get it. I am normally very selective when I reply if I don't really know the person, but your comments give a lot of weight to my initial thread, so it warranted a special response. Thanks!

thankyou, that does mean a lot to me... me feels spcial now

i do hope that we get to know each other, you seem the kind of person i would like to know

*hugs*

xxxx

[Pe@nut]

I’ve only made a couple of posts on this forum (in fact I think you welcomed me, but my memory fails) and that will always be the case as I am not an active member of the community and feel happier reading other accounts of their nappy related experiences rather then discussing my own. A voyeur if you will, as that is all I am comfortable with. You are one of the members who always impressed me greatly alongside a many others and I couldn’t name them all but I need to name, Tris, Briguy, Tami, square ducks, Brenda Fox and Morv who enjoy this lifestyle but never lose the grip on reality and real life. As I say there are others but you and the aforementioned help me accept who I am and live a normal life at the same time and for that you have my respect. Beside it always impressed me how you phantom took the time to welcome people to the forums and that has always stayed with me.

I’m only guessing at whom it is that makes you want to stay away from DD and if it is who I think it is I agree with you more than words could describe. I will say this though, I beg you Phantom for the good of DD and indeed (selfishly) for the good of my lurking, please stay around and bring you friends with you.

To close I will say this as far as to whom I am, the nappies don’t make the man, but they do contribute to whom the man is. And further more DD needs more Phantoms, Briguys, tris’s etc….. to keep people like myself sane.

Sorry if the spelling is poor I always need a drink or two to have the confidence to post.

[belinda_sue_fox]

I'm not a Brenda, i'm a free woman (well i say free, actually i'm rather expensive)

What was i gonna say, Oh yea, Posting. Nobody should lurk. Post your opinion, whats the worst that can happen someone pigeon holes you for your views. We all try not to do it but we all pigeon hole people. Unfortunatly some get into a few boxes, i have some in both the idiot loon and respected boxes. While other get in both loon and put in the porky pies.

As for spelling it's hardly a high level cognative ability so it's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm more ashamed of that incident on that fateful rainy day with the girl, the walk home and the curb of the road.

Scunthorpe 0 : Charlton Athletic 5

Wait hang on i need to check that score and post to a fiend!!!

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

I’ve only made a couple of posts on this forum (in fact I think you welcomed me, but my memory fails) and that will always be the case as I am not an active member of the community and feel happier reading other accounts of their nappy related experiences rather then discussing my own. A voyeur if you will, as that is all I am comfortable with…….

Hi Pe@nut, Wow, 8 posts in just over 3 years, but what a great post it is. Thank you for the kind words and for reading my rather lengthy thread. You have made several very interesting points, but one in particular I would like to address further. Only a handful of members are active and drive the boards and push the site along, but in the background, the bulk of our community stands relatively silent. I too lurked for a long time until I finally joined and then it was some time after that before I became an active member. For some, it came easy, but for others, it’s a huge step to take. I am truly touched that my thoughts were able to inspire an 8th post from such a long standing member. And, for the record, yours was much more inspiring than mine.

To close I will say this as far as to whom I am, the nappies don’t make the man, but they do contribute to whom the man is……

PS. I could not have said it better.

[Pe@nut]

Im sorry for getting your name wrong Belinda as I say my post was alcohol induced so im sure I can be forgiven!!!

Hi Pe@nut, Wow, 8 posts in just over 3 years, but what a great post it is. Thank you for the kind words and for reading my rather lengthy thread. You have made several very interesting points, but one in particular I would like to address further. Only a handful of members are active and drive the boards and push the site along, but in the background, the bulk of our community stands relatively silent. I too lurked for a long time until I finally joined and then it was some time after that before I became an active member. For some, it came easy, but for others, it’s a huge step to take. I am truly touched that my thoughts were able to inspire an 8th post from such a long standing member. And, for the record, yours was much more inspiring than mine.

PS. I could not have said it better.

Thanks for the response Phantom. As for the bold bit, its not that im scared of posting, I just have very little to say on the matter. For me that side of my personality is personal, but if I need advice or had an experience that I felt needed to be shared I am sure I would post about it.

I will close my ninth and last post for maybe another year or so by saying, give serious thought before stopping posting on DD, its very clear that many here value your opinion and im sure many lurkers feel the same. I just felt the need to step forward and give the lurkers (of like mind) a voice on this topic.

[Wakko]

What occurs to me in reading this thread, is that the problems and drama described are not unique to ABDL, but, sadly, are all over the net.

I am new to this board, and have not known a lot of people in the ABDL online community though I have known I was ABDL for decades.

I've been on the net a very long time--I got my first email address in 1991 or so. Before that, I was active on the old Fidonet, the dial-up BBS network that was a lot like the modern Usenet, and was even a moderator on the Anime "echo" (the Fidonet term for forum or newsgroup) for a few years in the early 90's. The previous moderator of Anime left, handing me the "keys", and telling me he was leaving Anime fandom because some other fandom had "better people" in it.

I thought that was a strange reason to leave; I can understand burnout--I burned out on that forum myself a few years later, but I thought to myself, "you'll be disillussioned by whatever fandom you go to"; the guy was a moral perfectionist to a fault.

I keep thinking about it whenever someone gets into an argument online and says they came to escape strife and dispute. This forum and others like it provide a great escape and connection to others in what seems like a secretive, furtive, and guilty desire to the world at large.

It's not a fun world outside. Small wonder that it is reflected back to places like this.

I don't intend offense towards Phantom or anyone in the thread, but I've been online long enough to be a bit detached towards online discussion and not let anything wind me up (too much.) I just hope the same for everyone here.

Thanks to the ABDL "oldtimers". Long may they continue.

[diamondback6881]

Hey Phantom. Welcome back, dude. Its been awhile, whatcha been up to?

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

Thanks for reading and replying, Wakko! I will certainly give your comments further thought and I appreciate your unique perspective. Always nice to see others in my age group around the site!!

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

Hi diamondback6881,

Always nice to see a familiar face (name). Thanks for the welcome back! Been working long hours, staying out of trouble...etc. Unfortunately, my return may be short lived, but that may change if I can find a way to remain positive and stay clear of a few, one in particular. I was inspired to post this topic after reading through the boards and finding some of the same problems/disruptions still exist. I also found it interesting that an entirely different group of members were standing up to these same individuals that I stood up to many, many months ago. It’s so hard for me not to get sucked into these battles, but I agree with them and support their arguments. The dilemma is…does it make a difference and is it worth the cost? Unfortunately, I don’t know the answer to that and that’s why I consider it an ongoing struggle. I suspect without some members speaking out, the boards would become chaotic and meaningless, but on the other hand, when members do speak out, the community becomes divided.

I’m interested in seeing if this REPUTATION thing works or not. I think I understand its concept, but I don’t understand how it can prevent one person from destroying the reputation of another or vice versa. I already experienced a negative reputation for a few days and I think it was totally unwarranted based on the context of the entire thread. Post count and time on board does not guarantee a good reputation, but one is more likely to give credibility based on these two factors without something else in place, so I’m optimistic.

[restlessfox]

welcome back dp i know i'm not on as often as i should be and i missed the drama you're referring to but i know how quickly and seriously drama can come between people (i've been moderating kongregate.com for over a year) yeah there's always gonna be people who don't care about what they're saying or who it affects, it's the internet.

this community needs more people like you, friendly, well spoken, slow to react, quick to help, and can actually see that what you write can affect people for better or for worse. (too many people just see pixels on a screen and forget they're talking to actual people with feelings)

i was there when you were actively posting pretty frequently and even though we haven't talked much i can tell you're a good person.

the best advice that comes to mind right now is when you do come across someone that's lying to try to get attention that's exactly what they need, so instead of picking apart their posts and causing more bickering than the view we should invite them to chat and make them feel like a part of the community that doesn't need to lie to feel accepted.

by the way reading your post has made me realize just what i'm missing, and i really do miss this site and all my friends here (hugs) so consider this my comeback too i promise to become active again and i hope to talk to you all soon.

if i don't feel free to tell mooglelove to give me a boot to the head