Snugglebug Posted March 1, 2010 Share Posted March 1, 2010 At some point, I'm gonna get around to rejoining the dating scene. Anyone got any recommendations for sites catering to asexuals? Link to comment
aleyxsis Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 Thankyou for starting this post jabez !! . I have known for years that i was not interested in sex but did not know what it was called . Asexual is what i am !! i just don't get the fuss about any kind of sex . I am attractted to women and am very affectionate with my gf but thats about it !!. Ihave also wondered if it had anything to do with my crossdressing and ab/dl lifestyle which i hated for years but now accept !!.Sorry just kind of getting this off my chest it's nice to know im not the only one . Also kudos to you snugglebug for your blog and info ty!! Link to comment
sdsddlr Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 I do have a sex drive that comes and goes, but I have no interest in sharing it with another. I have been attracted to other people, but it wasn't romantic or sexual, and I think the former may explain the latter. I haven't had any experiences as an adult sharing diapers with anyone, but I see that as a kind of intimacy completely independent of sex. Link to comment
Snugglebug Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 I have been attracted to other people, but it wasn't romantic or sexual, and I think the former may explain the latter. If you don't mind my asking, if the attraction wasn't sexual or romantic, then was it some sort of fascination? How does that attraction feel different from a desire for friendship? How do you define 'romantic'? This is all a bit terra incognita for me still. Link to comment
Snugglebug Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 Thankyou for starting this post jabez !! . I have known for years that i was not interested in sex but did not know what it was called . Asexual is what i am !! i just don't get the fuss about any kind of sex . I am attractted to women and am very affectionate with my gf but thats about it !!. Ihave also wondered if it had anything to do with my crossdressing and ab/dl lifestyle which i hated for years but now accept !!.Sorry just kind of getting this off my chest it's nice to know im not the only one . Also kudos to you snugglebug for your blog and info ty!! Hey, no worries! It's rather liberating, isn't it? I guess there maybe something to the statement "the truth shall set you free". And, yes, Jabez has provided some pretty important info to help me get started into exploring my asexuality. However, let's not forget to give props to the OP, bizarre123, for starting this thread in the first place. Link to comment
aleyxsis Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 Yes you are right about bizarre 123, snugglebug when i first read this post i din't realize i was on pg 2 lol. So big kudos to bizarre 123 and yes it is liberating to find the answer or part of the answer!. As we all know we don't fit into 1 neat little package . That would just make us boring anyways lol Link to comment
aleyxsis Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 PS good to talk to a fellow canuck !!and thanks to everybody who has posted on this thread it has helped !!! Link to comment
aleyxsis Posted March 2, 2010 Share Posted March 2, 2010 PS good to talk to a fellow canuck !!and thanks to everybody who has posted on this thread it has helped !!! Link to comment
froggy Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 I count myself amongst the asexual too. I have an idea what events might have turned me from a so called normal heterosexual to being asexual. I will not reveal the actual events, but they caused a large lack of trust in others. I think that as a result if I ever get too close, I poison the relationship. There is another aspect to this asexuality. Others do not know how to neatly classify us. We do not fit into the heterosexual category. To most that leaves us in the homosexual category. But we are not really homosexual either. Where I live there is lots of Hispanic macho. I do not have any children (legitimate or illegitmate), I am not much of a drinker, there is no obvious wife or girlfriend, and I do not abuse (hit) the wife or girlfriend. Therefore, I must be gay. They have no category for people having little to no interest in a sexual relationship of either persuasion. I have no idea where this may lead, but I just wanted to add my thoughts. wribbit Link to comment
Jabez Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I count myself amongst the asexual too. I have an idea what events might have turned me from a so called normal heterosexual to being asexual. I will not reveal the actual events, but they caused a large lack of trust in others. I think that as a result if I ever get too close, I poison the relationship. There is another aspect to this asexuality. Others do not know how to neatly classify us. We do not fit into the heterosexual category. To most that leaves us in the homosexual category. But we are not really homosexual either. Where I live there is lots of Hispanic macho. I do not have any children (legitimate or illegitmate), I am not much of a drinker, there is no obvious wife or girlfriend, and I do not abuse (hit) the wife or girlfriend. Therefore, I must be gay. They have no category for people having little to no interest in a sexual relationship of either persuasion. I have no idea where this may lead, but I just wanted to add my thoughts. wribbit Sadly, you are so right. I am not against homosexuality in any way, but I personally don't like being grouped into that since that is not what I am. All through school and even at work, people automatically assume that I must be lesbian because I have no interest in guys. Apparently it does not cross their minds that I may not be interested in girls either. And I've told many people about my 'asexuality' and most have no idea what that even is or that such a thing exists. One day maybe it will change as people become more aware of it as they have with the gay community. Link to comment
Horndog Posted March 17, 2010 Share Posted March 17, 2010 I'm not asexual, but at one point, I thought that I was because I didn't have any sexual impulses until I was 15. My interest in the AB/DL lifestyle was there, but I wasn't into it sexually at first. It was like, "Hey, cool! There are sites that I can relate to!" but then it hit me. I wanted to get busy -- and I started feeling that impulse once I was able to stop worrying about every little thing in my life. I was so uptight as a kid. Link to comment
ajthebabypie Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 Ya know, I thought I was rather alone in having to deal with the added level of freakiness in having little to no sexual urge. I'm actually really glad that a chance midnight revelation led me to this section of the boards. It's good to know I'm not alone in even THIS! For me, sex is just kinda frustrating; I get very little out of it. Somehow though, I always seem to wind up with women who are sex crazed. It's either my touch that gets them going, or my kiss, and, before you know it, what started out as me just wanting to be a little physical affectionate has turned into "I want you inside me. *pant* *pant* *desperate moan*" Frack! So much for a nice little cuddle before going to sleep. Meh. It's gotten to the point so many times that I've stop being physically affectionate because I dread accidentally awakening the Lust Beast. And, yeah, this low libido has been the biggest contributor to the failure of my previous relationships, more so than the diapers it seems, believe it or not. Apparently, I can't *BLEEP* to save a relationship. Nyargh! (BTW Betty, compeletly off topic: is that a wolphin you have in your icon? I'm curious about such things.) You sound alot like my boyfriend. He always complains about hating sex but yet he's, how do I put it, quite skilled in bed. I'm apparently the sex-crazed chick on the recieving end of all this non-sense . Your explanation though just made me laugh my arse off cos it's right bang-on. I may even show it to my boyfriend. Link to comment
Snugglebug Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 You sound alot like my boyfriend. He always complains about hating sex but yet he's, how do I put it, quite skilled in bed. I'm apparently the sex-crazed chick on the recieving end of all this non-sense . Your explanation though just made me laugh my arse off cos it's right bang-on. I may even show it to my boyfriend. *chuckle* I hope it provided some enlightenment, as well the amusement. Link to comment
Potluck Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 I don't understand "love" or "sex", to me, it gets in the way of "life". I always taught myself that love is a drug, and I see my friends with boyfriends, I sware, its like theyre high! And I dont envy them whatsoever. One day theyll come to work with a big smile on their face, and for the next five days, theyll be crying and moping around. Love does stuff to your brain. I once ran half a mile to a boy in the snow just to give him his jacket back, to find out, he wanted to break up with me the next day. So, screw it. I got my mind on my money and my money on my mind. Sex doesnt appeal to me either. Just doesnt. Having 2 seconds of intense pleasure is not at all worth the awkward rolling around for half an hour, risking an STD, risking your life (Ie, pregnancy)and risking your relationship. Its all bullcrap to me. Not gonna happen. Link to comment
tndyperboy Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 My boyfreind went through a long period when he wasn't interested in sex; once a month was fine with him. I on the other hand like it every 2 or 3 days, so we had a bit of a problem. One day I read an article about declining testosterone levels in men over 40. So I bugged him until he had his doctor check his levels. Turned out his was very low due to some medication he takes for migraines. Now he uses a suppliment twice a day and "happy days are here again." This is just a cautionary tale that if your sex drive falls off a cliff there might be an underlying hormone problem and it is worth checking out. 1 Link to comment
Snugglebug Posted May 3, 2010 Share Posted May 3, 2010 My boyfreind went through a long period when he wasn't interested in sex; once a month was fine with him. I on the other hand like it every 2 or 3 days, so we had a bit of a problem. One day I read an article about declining testosterone levels in men over 40. So I bugged him until he had his doctor check his levels. Turned out his was very low due to some medication he takes for migraines. Now he uses a suppliment twice a day and "happy days are here again." This is just a cautionary tale that if your sex drive falls off a cliff there might be an underlying hormone problem and it is worth checking out. I hear what you're saying; if it's a CHANGE in drive, then, yeah, get it checked. In my case, though, my interest has been low for a very, very long time. It makes sense now, looking back on my late teens, early twenties, how it was always the other guys, as we were driving along, who would point out a woman on the street with comments such "Hey, check out the {insert appropriate body part/s here} on her!" Heck, I've had women plunk themselves in my lap trying to catch my 'interest', only instead get tickled or somesuch. Once I discovered that sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be, it started being more about trying to please my girlfriends and eventually just turned into a chore. Link to comment
aleyxsis Posted May 3, 2010 Share Posted May 3, 2010 With me sex is a chore i like being with women i and love the way they look but !!! other than that i just don't seem to care about sex . I guess sex to me really means nothing .Also i have been to my dr he could find nothing wrong with me lol. But i really don't get off on anythig which is rather sad becuase i would like to find someone or get the whole sex thing but i just don't my prob i guess Link to comment
D_danny777 Posted May 7, 2010 Share Posted May 7, 2010 well do you at least remember how good sex felt alexis? i think its an important consept to keep in mind while going through life lol ^____^ Link to comment
Snugglebug Posted May 7, 2010 Share Posted May 7, 2010 well do you at least remember how good sex felt alexis? i think its an important consept to keep in mind while going through life lol ^____^ Only if your sexual. Link to comment
aleyxsis Posted May 7, 2010 Share Posted May 7, 2010 Well yes i have been sexual over the years but it just never did anything for me .Was married and have had gf's and im not attracted to men in anyway shape or form !.No im not on denial lol i just don't seem to get turned on by anything oh well Life can be weird and cruel at times Link to comment
beallucanb Posted May 7, 2010 Share Posted May 7, 2010 I think when your young peer pressure forces most teens into sex even if you not the least bit interested, I have never really been interested. Link to comment
Miss Manners Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 my partner and i aren't really into any physical sex. she and i enjoy *Tantra* a sort of spiritual conjugal co-mingling. very difficult to articulate with words. it requires a heightened and disciplined sense of spirituality but it far transcends anything physical by far. in fact, the physical act of sex seems so base and crass to both of us. Link to comment
Aurelius Posted May 10, 2010 Share Posted May 10, 2010 I have a pretty mediocre sex drive usually. I'm not overwhelmingly sexually attracted to anyone, really, and I usually judge people a lot more on their character and intelligence. There are girls I like and some guys I like, but sex is never a high priority. So I guess I border on asexuality, but throw in the fetish and a very passive bisexual sex life. Sex sure is great and all, but there's so much more to life Link to comment
Snugglebug Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 I finally made the plunge and joined both AVEN and Acebook. We shall see what comes of it. Link to comment
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