Help With Acceptance

[Guest muffler]

Hello i am female and new to the site just joined today...as long as i can rememeber i have been obsessed with diapers and baby bottles. I have tried to ignore the urges I have tried giving in to make it go away and i nothing i have done has made any difference. i remember stealing diapers when i was 6 or 7 years old and wetting them and keeping them in my room. my mother found them and i could tell she was disgusted but she never said anything to me. i want to know what i have to do to either accept this in me or learn how to get over it because the guilt and shame is undescribable and i am terrified that someone may find out. thankfully i live alone now so i have more privacy but it seems like the more i give in to this the more obsessed i become. i wear diapers or pull ups at night and i want to during the day but it gets expensive and i cant stop. its getting out of control and i dont know how to stop it. if anyone has any advice please respond because i really have no where else to turn. Why am i like this is this something i was born with?

[tenderheart]

I think that there is a fine line to walk when it comes to any fetish. It's not a destructive force on it's own but you can't let it control your life or it will become a serious problem for you (of course). I think that at some point every AB/DL has had a time when this fetish could've consumed them, but it's a harmless thing if you keep a balance between this and a healthy social and work life. You can learn to enjoy this instead of feeling guilt or shame. In my opinion you should learn to embrace the desire to wear diapers because it is a urge that will not leave you and to repress it will only make it re-manifest itself in other areas of your life, usually in a negative fashion. I fought with this fetish for quite some time myself and felt like a pervert and a filthy person because of it, but I found that by accepting it I've opened up a wonderful release for my stress and tension and found it to be a very enjoyable experience.

[babykeiff]

Muffler,

what you have discovered, and don't need me to tell you is that diapers etc are part of what makes you you - and there is no way you can change that. Once you accept that in yourself and that this is not casusing you harm, is when you can move on and enjoy this regression side of you. That is also when you can place it in balance in your life.

Regression theraphy / abdl lifestyle means accepting the feelings that you need to relax - that also enhances the other 'adult' side of your life, and that benifit that you will feel, is what allows and validates the baby side of you. It is healthy to be an adult baby as long as the 'adult' nor the 'baby' side is denied.

[fairfaxdl]

There could be a thousand reasons why you have the desire. I was 40 before I finally made the jump to wearing daipers 24/7 and wetting in them. It was the best decision I ever made. Even my wife agrees that I'm happier and more fun to be around. In my case it was just some sort of compulsion or desire to wet myself and I was not happy unless I did. That's all it was. It wasn't a fetish and it wasn't sexual.

I don't know why you or even I want to wear a diaper but I do know that I'm only really happy when I can just wet myself and wearing a diaper allows me to do that.

I'm no longer worried who may find out. -But I don't broadcast it either. I just consider myself incontenent since I can't really help myself. I look at as any other incontenent person would. I just have to use a diaper. Only in my case it isn't physical but personal. (Though it may very well be physical by now.)

The "obession" feeling may end once you decide you can wear all the time. Once you take the problem out of something, the obsession part of it disapears. In other words, you may not be obsessed once you can have it at any time. It doesn't mean you may not want to wear a diaper, just that the frantic feeling may go away.

I would just wear what you want. It isn't normal to discuss your underwear and bathroom habits with your mother or family so don't. IF they find out you can always say its a personal issue and that having to wear a diaper is embarassing enough without haveing to talk about it. Most people will just assume there is a physical reason you have to wear and leave it at that.

As for cost, you will have to solve this the best you can. Yes, disposable diapers do cost money. For daily wear you need to consider some form of cloth and plastic pants. That is the only cost effective solution available. Wearing cloth has its own challanges but it is cheaper in the long run. But for now, decided if you really want to wear daily or not.

Make no mistake, wearing diapers 24/7 is a major lifestyle choice. It isn't easy. This proven by the very few who actually do wear 24/7 by choice. (Not everyone here who says they do really do. It isn't hard to spot the posers. )

I would suggest that you try the lifestyle before you make a decision. Perhaps the IDEA if diaper wearing is all that is happening.

Have you tried:

Wearing for 24 hours in private?

Wearig for a litte in public?

Wearing and using for multiple days in private to get used to wearing and changing a diaper?

Have you learned how long you can wear your diaper before it will leak?

Have you learned how to wear in public and change in a public restroom?

Have you tried wearing for a full weekend in private.

Have you tried wearing for a full weekend in private and also running a few public erands?

Are you comfortable wearing in any situation?

And finally have you tired the complete diaper lifestyle for 1 week or longer?

If you can do these and feel that wearing a diaper is for you, then you should just make diapers par of your life.

[babylin]

Hello i am female and new to the site just joined today...as long as i can rememeber i have been obsessed with diapers and baby bottles. I have tried to ignore the urges I have tried giving in to make it go away and i nothing i have done has made any difference. i remember stealing diapers when i was 6 or 7 years old and wetting them and keeping them in my room. my mother found them and i could tell she was disgusted but she never said anything to me. i want to know what i have to do to either accept this in me or learn how to get over it because the guilt and shame is undescribable and i am terrified that someone may find out. thankfully i live alone now so i have more privacy but it seems like the more i give in to this the more obsessed i become. i wear diapers or pull ups at night and i want to during the day but it gets expensive and i cant stop. its getting out of control and i dont know how to stop it. if anyone has any advice please respond because i really have no where else to turn. Why am i like this is this something i was born with?

Hi Muffler!

Most of us in this community have asked ourselves WHY? But perhaps there is no why, you just are. Were you born this way? Well, that's another topic dealing in beliefs. Personally I believe my own desires went back to being toilet trained too early and being a bedwetter, plus power and self control issues. Regardless, it may be vexing for you but is really nothing to worry about. Perhaps you might ask yourself"What's the big deal? Why does it matter? Who says I cannot wear diapers?" Is there someone else controlling your life? We give ourselves guilt and shame. Nobody can give them to us but ourselves. Indulgence is not obsessiveness. You are a beautiful person. Allow yourself some pleasure. No one else needs to know you like diapers, but please feel free to share in this community.

HAPPINESS IS WEARING COTTON DIAPERS

[Guest lucys junibug]

once you accept that you like wearing, and that there is no shame in it, i think that it may all calm a little, i mean in that you wont feel so obsessed with it, as you will know that you can wear when you want and the desire to wear (but can't) will no longer exist as you'll know that you can and that its ok.

as you live alone why not just experiment a little, give in to your desire to have all the things you want.

just don't let it fully take over, still see your friends and family, enjoy other hobbies too....if you aren't then maybe it is time to get help, just so that you can get a happy medium...

i know what you mean with the money side of things....we have very little money and making it stretch at the best of times is hard....but we get things little by little...we diddn't go out one day and buy the lot, we make sure we spread the cost of things, we don't wear full time so don't have to buy too many nappies....so we buy when we can, as for other items, i know a few cheap sites where we can buy bottles and blankets and toys ect....so i always try to get things cheep and in the sales....im also ok at sewing so i'm thinking of making a lot more items...i cant say what though as i want to surprise lucy!!

xxx

[hidden]

Make no mistake, wearing diapers 24/7 is a major lifestyle choice. It isn't easy. This proven by the very few who actually do wear 24/7 by choice. (Not everyone here who says they do really do. It isn't hard to spot the posers. )

posers? there be no posers here. for example, everyone knows i have been 24/7 for 2 years.

[happyindprs]

Like most of us in the diapered community, we all at one time or another wondered what was wrong with us that attracted us to wearing diapers. In addition, many of us have been overcome with guilt and vowed to put all of our diapers and things behind us (no pun intended) an every time we did this we all have come back time and time again.

Take my advise from a guy that has been wearing diapers all of his adult life. Calm down, take a deep breath and accept who you are and what completes you. In all of our cases that commonality is a diaper. Don't get down on yourself because you like to wear or wet or mess in your diaper. Don't read more into any of this than there is. And Please don't start believing that you are a freak or weird or that something is mentally wrong with you.

Come to the diapered community to find answers, advise and companionship. You are among friends here, and more so than anywhere else. Take you time and experiment with your diaper wearing and find out what you like about them. Are you a baby or just like to wear them as in every day life. You are not freak you are however unique. So many people search their whole life in search oif happiness. Consider yourself fortunate that you have already found it.

[Plasticbutt]

Let me just say, Muffler, that I completely sympathize with how you're feeling. Any fetish that falls outside the mainstream is bound to cause embarassment and feeliings of weirdness for those who have such fetishes.

But fetishes occur for reasons that stretch way back to early childhood, before we could understand what was happening and were mature enough to process the sensory input. Some of us will never know why we have "strange" fetishes, but there is always a reason for it. Remember, you are not your fetish; your fetish is just a part -- a small part -- of you, even if it makes up a large part of your sexuality.

I love sissification, dressing up in short skirts and pantyhose, and being girly every now and then. BUT I have a real macho side to me too which is disgusted by the femboi part of me. I spent so many years HATING the fem side of myself and fighting it. I eventually realized it would never go away, so when I want to be girly, I indulge. It won't go away, so I would just make myself miserable for the rest of my life by fighting it.

I have always loved trash bags, newspapers and dry trash. Hardly a normal fetish, and I'm quite embarassed by it. My wife knows about it, but I NEVER wear trash bags or engage in any trash play in front of her -- only in private. It's something that I just can't share with anyone else, aside from the anonymity of the 'net. I think it's just too strange, even for my nearest and dearest.

I haven't worn diapers in front of her either, although I've intimated that I'm interested in wearing disposable adult diapers. We'll see how that goes ...

But, just to assure you, you are not strange simply because you are a DL. You didn't choose your fetish(es), so there's no reason to get down on yourself for it. The only way to deal with it is to satisfy your urge to wear -- and keep sharing stories/feelings here on the board. That's what we're here for.

[Bettypooh]

Welcome to life Muffler As you have discovered this is something that stays with us and there is no good explanation for it. IMHO we all have some of the causes in common such as a deeper than usual desire for a simpler less responsible life and a closer than usual connection with our 'inner child' Beyond that we're individuals just as we should be, each with different motivations causing us even more desire to wear diapers. Sure, it's unusual, but that alone doesn't make it good or bad- you do that to and for yourself You can't fight it and win but that doesn't mean it has to rule over you. Like Fairfaxdl says, the solution is in balance and control. Those of us still 'in the closet' with this will worry about being discovered but really, there's not a lot of chance for that as long as you are careful. It was easier for me than most because I had gender issues to deal with before my DL came to the forefront and I had learned a lot of lessons about how little attention most people pay to those things which worry us so much

It's the worry that causes the harm and you're worried- you have legitimate concerns about this in your life. The solution is to not overly deny yourself and to indulge in the things you like often enough to lower the pressure you feel to a level you can deal with At first it will seem overwhelming as you find yourself wanting so much more of a good thing but that will lessen to a point which is normal for you as you give yourself what you need more freely. Make a plan to let it happen where and when you can deal with it. Go slowly as you explore and allow yourself the pleasures you deserve. It's your life and you can make it as good or as miserable as you want to So make it good

I'm going to quote what I lilke best about fairdaxdl's response below:

....There could be a thousand reasons why you have the desire....

....In my case it was just some sort of compulsion or desire to wet myself and I was not happy unless I did....

....I'm no longer worried who may find out. -But I don't broadcast it either.....

....The "obession" feeling may end once you decide you can wear all the time. Once you take the problem out of something, the obsession part of it disapears....

....As for cost, you will have to solve this the best you can. Yes, disposable diapers do cost money. For daily wear you need to consider some form of cloth and plastic pants....

....I would suggest that you try the lifestyle before you make a decision....

I especially like the last line. Once you try giving yourself the space you need there comes a feeling of freedom quite unlike anything else You begin to understand exactly what you need and you begin to understand that this doesn't have to overwhelm you. At first you may find yourself 'going overboard' but in time it will settle down to where you know what the minimum is that you're comfortable with and you'll be able to deal with that. Diapers are a part of our lives but not all of it and they alone do not define us. Just explore this part of you sensibly and everything will work itself out- but only when you allow that to happen

DailyDiapers is one of the best (I think the best) places to find like-minded friends online and learn about the different aspects of this part of our lives. Hang around- look at the forums, the reviews, and whatever else interests you- and make some friends here. Just like anything online don't believe everything you read but read it anyway and you'll begin to see who we really are: just a regular sampling of humanity who share an uncommon interest

Bettypooh

[Bettypooh]

posers? there be no posers here. for example, everyone knows i have been 24/7 for 2 years.

Maybe there aren't any "posers" in this thread yet- but give it time and it will happen This is, after all, just another place on the WWW and there are posers in this world too. I can't figure out why some people are like that but they are- not that it really matters to me I live my life, you live yours Me? I'd love to try being 24/7 for awhile but in my life it just isn't practical so it probably won't happen- the most I've managed is three days straight with no poopys (my preference). That was nice but it didn't bring an overwhelming need to continue, and it didn't bring a big feeling of loss when I went back to my regular underwear. Some have a need for that but I don't and we're all OK no matter our differing needs and wants. I wouldn't have that any other way but I could do with fewer posers too!

Bettypooh

[Supia]

The desire for diapers is a result of something, or perhaps a combination of somethings, that happened through the course of your life. Noone is "born" an infantilist. Unlike sexuality, which you could theoretically be "born" with, diapers are a simple, manufactured object. Noone is "born" attracted to diapers any more than people are "born" attracted to paper planes. As Tommy said long ago on America's favorite talk show, there are virtually no members on these sites from developing countries who don't use diapers.

That said, because of the close proximity to diapers in the early stages of your life, I'd wager a bet to say most of the reason we are what we are had to do with something happening during our early childhood development. For me (and I know this scenario is actually not completely rare in the AB/DL community), my mother put me in a diaper around age 6 because I was "acting like a baby." Innocent on her part, however I remember when I was 8 or 9 looking back on that with fondness. Although my situation isn't the same as everyone's (I'd recommend reading the essay "Understanding Infantilism", a quick search on google should be able to find it), many of us share a common thread in that it was a desire to wear diapers and/or be treated like babies even before we hit puberty.

That is what makes it a "lifestyle" rather than another simple sexual fetish. It is part of who we are. Just like people who are gay, this is simply something about your life that has somehow become what you are. And like our gay friends, denying who you are, or going to therapy trying to change who you are, will not bring you anything but pain and confusion. You don't have to dive into the ocean like some in the community who have become "24/7" babies and find yourself a "mommy" or a "daddy"; many of us just wear diapers every now and then, if at all, and some don't even like being treated like babies. The only thing that is important is, if you deny yourself what you really want inside, there will be a part of you that will never be happy.

[Newroad]

I can't really tell you how to address you internal conflict but I can tell from my own experience that denial of what is driving your feelings will only make the onfusion and emotional stress worse. In my case it almost cost me my marriage. If your heart and mind tell you that this is the course of your life than to deny it will only cause you pain. As far as cost as others have siad there are options, Moderation, Cloth diapers as opposed to disposables, etc. Take the time to sit down with the most inportant person here, you. In the end the only opinion that will ever matter is yours. You have to live with you for the rest of your life. Good luck and I hope it all works out the way that makes you happiest.

[daclosetdl]

Hey Muffler

I can only offer my view point as there are many and they can vary quite a bit. My answer to your question of if you were born like it, well I am a fencepost sitter and tend to give equal creedence to nature and nurture and could gone on at great length breaking everyhting down pragmatically but will spare everyone. In the end all you can say is it is a part of who you are. I feel the guilt and shame continuously myself. I stole diapers myself and using them had my mom catch me and go irate asking if I wanted to wear them all the time. Of course I said no and dealt with my secret being, well my secret. Even went so far as to deleting all my pictures from a three month trip to Australia when I had my buddy come to fix my computer after a crash. Erasing the drive was better then him finding some of the pictures I had. Being on my own and having some extra cash has led to my delving in alot more then I ever thought I would and the more I do the more I seem to enjoy it. The only rationalization I can come up with is what I do in my own private time is my own buisness and I don't need to go broadcasting that to everyone else. True you may be in relationships where it comes up, I've been in a few and once I get to a point I share as I know I can not live without some form of diapers. Sometimes it works out till other diffrences drive us apart more often it doesn't but hey I don't always agree with other peoples political or religious beliefs so each to their own. AS for wearing all the time if it is putting you in financial straits, like most evrything else people enjoy in if you don't have the cash you just need to dig deep and have some personal restraint. Not fun, but that as well, is normal life for common people who don't have mass reserves of cash sitting in the bank.

Long and short of it is there are alot of other options out there that people enjoy doing and there are lots of people who will always call them crazy (ex. my buddy races motocross and has broken every bone in his body over it I think he is nuts still doing it but it is somethign he enjoys so all the power to him) . It shouldn't make a like of diffrence to you as you are thankfully yourself. If it is something you truely enjoy budget accordingly and well enjoy yourself you should never make yourself miserable for others. Tounge in cheeck you should also not go out of your way to make others feel uncomfortable.

Honestly no clue if this will even remotely help you at all but it's where I am at with my own personal battle with the idea of wearing diapers and enjoying them. I hope all the best to you and have a great day as there is really no reason not to.

Ross

[polyzoidb]

posers? there be no posers here. for example, everyone knows i have been 24/7 for 2 years.

well shoot, i'm in the same boat. I would love to be a poser sometime, er...

I thought the same thing as you for a while. I didn't live by myself, i'm just now moving out of the parents place, but I've sort of ostracized myself from the family for a little while and just enjoyed diapers for a brief time (few months). I don't think that I became happier from that choice, so I limited diapers to a budget, I'll wear them when my wallet will let me, and my wallet is about to give a generous donation to the "Support Disposable Adult Diapers Fund." I am glad that I still wear them, but I make social hobbies a priority of mine, to keep my shy diaper wearing to a minimum. I know you can break free from your, let me call it, "maelstrom" of diapers, to a healthy mix of wearing and not, or at least until you make the choice to wear 24/7 by choice and join that club of those that do not pose.

[acemanner]

Sometimes I can just stop and take a look at myself and see how weird I look. I mean diapers ?!?! the first thing that would come to your mind is probbaly pedophile or something like that. While I still havent found a way to accept what i really am. I know that to be happy in the future i do need to accept myself.

I can look at myself and call me a freak. But at least I know what I am and I am learning to accept it.

Oh well , hopefully you found something to help you out of that. Sometimes time is all you need.