My Love For Diapers Came Out

[Markley]

Hello to everyone here.

I'm new to this forum, and I figured I'd talk to yo guys about something I hardly ever talk about.

I've been a Diaper Lover for 15 years now, and I'm pretty sure nobody til recently knew I was, including my own parents.

Well, I usually just kinda thought about diapers, but never really got my chance to wear em til last year. I actually got so curious about it that I went out in the middle of the night to the nearest walmart, and bought a pack of Depends Extra Absorbency. When I tried it on, it felt good, but it wasn't what I was expecting out of a diaper.

So about a month later, I had bought a pack of Depend Maximum Absorbency Diapers, and I become hooked.

This might have been the biggest mistake, because I became fixed on wanting to wear em even more.

I was so worried of getting cought, though, I hardly wore em. Just every once in awhile, when I was by myself.

Well, about 5 months ago, I had moved out with my girlfriend of 4 years (Who still didnt know about my Fetish) and to keep it a secret, I stopped wearing them for good.

But the urge was calling me. My wants for wearing em made me believe I had something wrong with me. I ended up telling my girlfriend about my "problem."

I told her about how long I have literally obsessed with wanting to wear diapers, how I find it a turn on, and how comfortible it feels, but I also let her know that I wasn't into the acting like a baby, and how I thought using them for "relief" was not my thing, and that I'd never do that. I also ensured her that I wasn't a pedo.

Surprisingly, she took it well, dispite being really weirded out, and disturbed.

I asked her if she would have a problem if I actually bought a pack, and promised her that I would only wear em ocasionally when I'm alone in private, unless she didnt mind.

All she told me was, that she didnt want to see it nor hear it, gave me a hug, and chanced the subject.

It hasnt been brought up since.

but now after 3 months, I still get that urge to want to wear diapers, but I'm afraid she'd find out, and be more disturbed about it than I thought.

I know there's probably not much you guys could say to me, but I just wanted to share this, and kinda get some of the weight off my shoulders.... It's hard keeping it all in sometimes, and I kinda want to talk about it now without feeling very strange, out of place, and embarrassed.

[ajc2000]

You have found the right place to talk about it and don't need to feel strange or out of place talking about it here.

All I can say is that you have told her so if she does catch you out one day she all ready knows.

If you only plan to wear in private and not involve her I can not see this being a problem as she will unlikely to find out that you have been using them unless you use them when she is around, like in bed. Sounds like she is not that botherd as long as you don't involve her with them.

[phogendpf]

I've been a Diaper Lover for 15 years now, and I'm pretty sure nobody til recently knew I was, including my own parents.

Well, I usually just kinda thought about diapers, but never really got my chance to wear em til last year.

You haven't been a diaper lover for 15 years if you just started wearing last year. As to your post....Be Yourself!! Im glad you finally got to wear diapers. If you want to wear more then do it. Sucks that your vanilla girlfriend isn't interested though.

[wsdler]

You haven't been a diaper lover for 15 years if you just started wearing last year.

I disagree. Just because someone doesn't go on a date until a certain age doesn't mean that they aren't gay or straight? Even if they do it still doesn't mean that they're one or the other. Many gays and lesbians date partners of the opposite sex before they figure things out. It doesn't mean that because they went on a hetero date that they're straight. That said, it may not be the best analogy in the world as I believe sexual preference is something that is preprogrammed at birth and I believe the AB/DL thing has a different trigger but anyhow, you get the idea.

[Kitty]

"Surprisingly, she took it well, dispite being really weirded out, and disturbed.

I asked her if she would have a problem if I actually bought a pack, and promised her that I would only wear em ocasionally when I'm alone in private, unless she didnt mind.

All she told me was, that she didnt want to see it or hear it, gave me a hug, and chanced the subject."

If she said there was no problem about it as long u don't tell her about the "details", I don't see what's your problem with : "but I'm afraid she'd find out, and be more disturbed about it than I thought." Because I believe she knows it. I mean of course she has to know... but she just doesnt want to hear about it. So just dont tell her. Or have you noticed that the relation has changed after that been brought up?!

I understand you're afraid of losing her... But do you want to live hiding forever? Or living in a relation where your girl doesn't want to accept the whole of you? Because you have to admit that she knows, she just doesnt want to acknowledge to herself that you're a diaper lover.

In my case I accepted my Necare's fetish from the moment he told me about it and I had never heard about this fetish before. I guess you just accept the person you're with entirely or you don't.

I don't really know what advice to give you, because:

a) if you talk about it again she might feel pressured

she told you herself she doesnt want to hear about it

c) but keep the diaper moments to yourself and live in anxiety, it's not really helping you...

so, yeah...

All the best,

Kitty

[Vic]

Been there, done that. Maybe you shouldn't have refered to you fetish as a "problem", perhaps then she might have been more receptive. Perhaps not, it's hard to say. The thing is that she has stated that "she doesn't want to see it, or hear about it". You can't talk it over with her again, because she's already stated that she doesn't want to talk of it again.

Can't unring that bell, you know? you don't have any options other than to wear in complete secrecy, like when she's not home, or to not wear at all. This may prove to be problematic for you, as your diaper desires are not going to go away.

You can't just flick it off like a light switch. You may find yourself starting to develop resentments in the relationship because of this. If that happens you'll be on the downhill slide to a break up, because resentment is toxic to a relationship.

I feel for you my man, I've been there too, in more than one relationship. It got to the point that I spent my free time looking for affordable apartment in the paper, already planning my next move. I hope you don't have to go there, but you're going to have to find some way to relieve your desires, while keeping it a secret from her. Tough job, sorry.

Peace,

Vic

[diaprbayb]

You haven't been a diaper lover for 15 years if you just started wearing last year. As to your post....Be Yourself!! Im glad you finally got to wear diapers. If you want to wear more then do it. Sucks that your vanilla girlfriend isn't interested though.

We have many many members who "love" diapers but don't wear them. They "love" to see them on others though.

[FretaBWet]

I can really understand your predicament and sympathize with you. When someone speaks to us it's not just the words that matter, the inflection of the words and the body language counts for at least as much and sometimes more. Only you can know whether she meant for you to never wear a diaper again and if you got caught it would be the end of the relationship. The alternative could have been I love you and want to stay with you but I cant handle this so if you don't mention it and keep it on the dl we'll be okay. If she meant the latter you should just wear them when she's not around and not feel guilty about it because you're doing what she has asked. Good luck with whatever you decide to try.

Hugs,

Freta

[Aria Rift]

I got a similar response from my significant other when I told her. She said she didn't want to see me like that. So I choose to wear when I know I'll have the house to myself for a few hours. It's definitely better than nothing. The rest of the time may require some self discipline on your part.

However, if you get to the point when all you can think about are diapers, then you may be developing an addiction. You may want to think about trying to back off for a bit.

[Markley]

Thank you all for your replies.

Our relationship is still just as strong, and I truely believe she still loves me with all her heart.

I believe she just blocks it out, and tries not to think about, but she never came right out and said, don't.

I haven't said anything to her since that day about Diapers, and don't plan to.

I do have alot of time home by myself.

She works during the day Monday through Friday, while I work nightshift on airplanes. My weekends are 3 and 4 days a week, so I do have plenty of time to enjoy em if I want to.

My biggest problem is, just her finding them if I do get em.

Chances are she would probably just tell me to get rid of em, but I dont want to put her in that position.

This is something that is hard to over come like a few of you guys have said. Some days I don't think about it at all, then other days, thats all I can think about.

If I'm having a really stressful time at work and I get home, I sometimes have to fight myself from gonig to the store to pick up some diapers.

Days I have worn em before the talk, it just made all my worries go away, and thats what makes it so addictive.

My only problem with diapers is that if I wear em for to long, I tend to sweat. Things get pretty hot under that plastic and padding.

[Repaid1]

I asked her if she would have a problem if I actually bought a pack, and promised her that I would only wear em ocasionally when I'm alone in private, unless she didnt mind. All she told me was, that she didnt want to see it or hear it, gave me a hug, and chanced the subject.

My biggest problem is, just her finding them if I do get em.

Chances are she would probably just tell me to get rid of em, but I dont want to put her in that position.

Seems to me she knows because you told her. She just doesn't want to see you in them, or hear them or about them? Perhaps you should do what you need to do with your own life. If she chooses to be part of it than so be it, if not at least you have your own little thing, and she knows about it. Perhaps in time if she see's that bag getting emptier and another full one appear, she might realize how this is a part of you, and perhaps she should try giving you a little more understanding and acceptance. Just my two cents.

[Markley]

Seems to me she knows because you told her. She just doesn't want to see you in them, or hear them or about them? Perhaps you should do what you need to do with your own life. If she chooses to be part of it than so be it, if not at least you have your own little thing, and she knows about it. Perhaps in time if she see's that bag getting emptier and another full one appear, she might realize how this is a part of you, and perhaps she should try giving you a little more understanding and acceptance. Just my two cents.

Yeah. I understand your thoughts.

I'm just paranoid.

I just want to thank you all for the feedback. It's nice to be treated so well.

Though you all are into the same thing, it's hard to imagine that I would be so comfortable talking about this

[Mean Mommy]

I do have alot of time home by myself.

She works during the day Monday through Friday, while I work nightshift on airplanes. My weekends are 3 and 4 days a week, so I do have plenty of time to enjoy em if I want to.

My biggest problem is, just her finding them if I do get em.

Chances are she would probably just tell me to get rid of em, but I dont want to put her in that position.

This is something that is hard to over come like a few of you guys have said. Some days I don't think about it at all, then other days, thats all I can think about.

If I'm having a really stressful time at work and I get home, I sometimes have to fight myself from gonig to the store to pick up some diapers.

Days I have worn em before the talk, it just made all my worries go away, and thats what makes it so addictive.

Beware.

It sounds like your wife is willing to tolerate this, and is okay with you pursuing this interest without her.

The danger in that is that it will cause a schism. Some people are okay with this. Some people have sex lives outside their marriage because one partner is no longer interested, able, whatever. But personally I wouldn't want to have this distance in such an important relationship in my life.

Your wife has learned something about you that makes her stop wanting to be as close to you as she can. Personally, I think she's dropped the ball. I think she's stopped being as best a lover and companion as she could be. I understand that to mainstream society adult babies are bizarre and perhaps disgusting, but a spouse is meant to be together with you all the way. But I also understand that this is my viewpoint, and there are other valid viewpoints out there.

Whether you stay with your lady or not, you have a right to diapers. She doesn't want to see them? Put them in a chest. Say it's your "special chest", no other questions are necessary. She wants it out of sight, it is. And she should respect that.

You also should be able to wear whenever you want. If you don't have a lot of time to yourself, wear while she's at home. Tell her you'll be busy for an hour, find a quiet place and leave it at that. Forcing you to repress your desire for her comfort is unacceptable.

[Guest]

This might have been the biggest mistake, because I became fixed on wanting to wear em.

I got so bad about wanting to wear Depends, that I had actually gone to work once with one on.

What does that make me, considering I wear 24/7?

[Markley]

Beware.

It sounds like your wife is willing to tolerate this, and is okay with you pursuing this interest without her.

The danger in that is that it will cause a schism. Some people are okay with this. Some people have sex lives outside their marriage because one partner is no longer interested, able, whatever. But personally I wouldn't want to have this distance in such an important relationship in my life.

Your wife has learned something about you that makes her stop wanting to be as close to you as she can. Personally, I think she's dropped the ball. I think she's stopped being as best a lover and companion as she could be. I understand that to mainstream society adult babies are bizarre and perhaps disgusting, but a spouse is meant to be together with you all the way. But I also understand that this is my viewpoint, and there are other valid viewpoints out there.

Whether you stay with your lady or not, you have a right to diapers. She doesn't want to see them? Put them in a chest. Say it's your "special chest", no other questions are necessary. She wants it out of sight, it is. And she should respect that.

You also should be able to wear whenever you want. If you don't have a lot of time to yourself, wear while she's at home. Tell her you'll be busy for an hour, find a quiet place and leave it at that. Forcing you to repress your desire for her comfort is unacceptable.

Well, I'm not going to say I know without a doubt she loves me just as much as before, but trust me when I say that shes as close to me than anything. She's a cuddler, and gets her snuggles in as much as possible.

We cant be together as much as we should because of our jobs. when I get home, she wakes up, and we spend about an hour together doing whatever, and when she gets home, I spend the next 3 hours before I leave. Those 4 day weekends I have are spent with her the whole time. Because I have to sleep during the day, when I wake up, its never long afterwards, shes getting home. She's always happy to see me, always greets me with a long hug and kiss, and always talks about how much she's missed me. Hopefully she's not just blowing smoke up my ass, but I find it hard to believe that she would stop loving me. This is after 4 years, mind you. So for it to still be this strong as if we were new high school crushes, tells ya something.

She's not exactly perfect herself. Nobody is, and we all have our weird sides, and she knows it.

What does that make me, considering I wear 24/7?

I'm sorry if I offended you. I meant nothing by it.

I was just explaining that I forced myself into that next step.

I just have to respect her word, because she's more important in my life.

[Markley]

Well, something great just happened yesterday.

I was spending some time, going for a little drive with my girlriend, and she suddonely brought up out of nowhere the discussion we had earlier about my interests in Diapers.

She told me that at first she didn't want to believe it, and didn't know how to take it, so she blocked it out.

But she ended up thinking about it some more, and desided to do some research online while I was at work one day.

She wanted to get a better understanding, because til the day I told her about my love for Diapers, she had never heard of such a thing.

Obviously, got to see what it's like to be in her position. It would be hard to believe, and accept.

After she had read into it more, she got to understand it more.

The shocker was when she said that I should go and pick up a pack of diapers, and gave me a very big hug and a kiss.

But she said that she still would rather me just wear them on my own time while she's at work, because even though she has accepted it, she still doesn't feel very comfortable about seeing me wearing them and hearing them crinkle, which was fine.

She may eventially become comfortable enough one of these days to accept them around her.

I'm still shocked that she actually told me get get them. I feel like I'm on cloud 9 right now.

[Huggie]

GOOD FOR YOU!!! Now take this slowly with her. A bit of advice if I may; a big thing to keep in mind is not to leave used diapers laying around, dispose of them "on the spot". Your lady will get used to you in them in time so please be patient. HOORAY for you!

Huggie

[Brudda Voodu]

In my experience I dealt with a similar situation. My wife and I were only 4 months into our dating relationship before I told her all about the diapers and everything. At first her reaction was the same as your girl friends, shock, disbelief, fear and betrayal. She figured that if I were keeping something like this from our relationship what else could I be hiding? I wasn't hiding anything else but thats a normal reaction due to the circumstance I think. Many people have never heard of this fetish and the initial reaction to finding out we exist is usually something along the lines of "oh my god how crazy is he?". Anyway my point is it's a lot for your girl to deal with and your best bet (in my opinion) is to let it settle in her mind for a bit and let her know you want to answer any questions she may have. Its better she understands what your into from you and not online research. Assure her you are still the same man you have always been and that this will not change the relationship you have built in any way. In her mind she is probably trying to understand what this means for the future of your relationship, play it low key for a bit. With time she will come to the conclusion you are still the same man and that your relationship is still a wonderful evolving thing. It worked with my relationship and now my wife plays diaper games with me as often as we can. Essentially I have converted her into not only accepting this life style but embracing it. Just give it some time my man, and don't go diaper crazy at first, give it some time in her mind to settle. My advice anyway, it's free so perhaps thats all its worth but it's here all the same./

[Markley]

GOOD FOR YOU!!! Now take this slowly with her. A bit of advice if I may; a big thing to keep in mind is not to leave used diapers laying around, dispose of them "on the spot". Your lady will get used to you in them in time so please be patient. HOORAY for you!

Yes, I plan on making it look like it never happened. She doesn't need to see em laying around even if she is used to em.

In my experience I dealt with a similar situation. My wife and I were only 4 months into our dating relationship before I told her all about the diapers and everything. At first her reaction was the same as your girl friends, shock, disbelief, fear and betrayal. She figured that if I were keeping something like this from our relationship what else could I be hiding? I wasn't hiding anything else but thats a normal reaction due to the circumstance I think. Many people have never heard of this fetish and the initial reaction to finding out we exist is usually something along the lines of "oh my god how crazy is he?". Anyway my point is it's a lot for your girl to deal with and your best bet (in my opinion) is to let it settle in her mind for a bit and let her know you want to answer any questions she may have. Its better she understands what your into from you and not online research. Assure her you are still the same man you have always been and that this will not change the relationship you have built in any way. In her mind she is probably trying to understand what this means for the future of your relationship, play it low key for a bit. With time she will come to the conclusion you are still the same man and that your relationship is still a wonderful evolving thing. It worked with my relationship and now my wife plays diaper games with me as often as we can. Essentially I have converted her into not only accepting this life style but embracing it. Just give it some time my man, and don't go diaper crazy at first, give it some time in her mind to settle. My advice anyway, it's free so perhaps thats all its worth but it's here all the same./

I pan on taking as much advise as I can from you guys. The more the better.

We had a long friendly discussion about this, and I let her know that the diapers were all I was hiding from her. After she had told me about the research she did, it was actually a relief. It's one thing for me to tell her this is normal, and that I'm not the only one, but to see it for herself, it's more assuring.

She even read all the bad opinions, and other things people had bad to say, but she actually got alil upset about what they said, and didn't believe them. So that was cool.

What was pretty nice was, when I first told her about this, she had never heard of a DL before.

I never told her that I was a quote, "DL."

When she came out and started talking to me about this, she told me that I was a Diaper Lover, and knew the difference between a DL and an AB. Nothing against alot of you guys, but she was relieved to know I wasn't an AB. She would never accept me acting the part, or actually making the mess.

I do plan on taking this slow with her. She already feels comfortable enough to talk about it. (We've been talking about it everyday since she brought it back up.)

But it may take some time for her be comfortable enough to allow me to wear them around her.

It was a big step for her to actually go out and tell me that I can buy the diapers. I was very shocked to hear that come out of her mouth. Obviously, she waited in the car when I went to pick them up, but when I got back with the pack of Depend Maximum Absorbent diapers in the requested bag, she just smiled at me, and said that she needs to come up with something weird to mess with me.

I told her that I didn't care what it is, for her to accept this, I would accept hers.

As I am writing this, I am wearing a diaper. The first time I had ever got to really enjoy it without having to worry. It's a great feeling to wear one and knowing it is OK.

[diaperpt]

Wow! Good for you! Listen to her more than you listen to people here - she's going to let you know more directly and indirectly than anyone here can tell you.

Sounds good though, so don't push things too hard or too fast, but do take advantage of what she's telling you openly, freely and with a smile on her face! If it sounds like a little bit of concession on her part, take it more cautiously.

Good luck!!!

[Markley]

Wow! Good for you! Listen to her more than you listen to people here - she's going to let you know more directly and indirectly than anyone here can tell you.

Sounds good though, so don't push things too hard or too fast, but do take advantage of what she's telling you openly, freely and with a smile on her face! If it sounds like a little bit of concession on her part, take it more cautiously.

Good luck!!!

Thank you.

Yeah, right now, though we talk about it, she doesn't want to actually know when I do wear em.

She just called me about an hour ago for no reason other than just to talk cause she was bored. I know she knew I was wearing one at that momment, but I didn't say a thing to her about it. I plan on making out like the diapers were never in this place.

She'll be getting home in the next hour, so I'll be done with this diaper soon.

Oh so comfortable

I dont want to take if off, but I should consider myself lucky enough that I can wear them at all.

[Markley]

Thanks 1BB.

I hope things go great between you and your SO for as long as it can.

[lynniehyde]

Thanks 1BB.

I hope things go great between you and your SO for as long as it can.

As long as you are honest in your relationships, you may truly be astonished at what develops.

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

[Markley]

As long as you are honest in your relationships, you may truly be astonished at what develops.

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

Definitely the truth!

[Kaliess]

Its great to hear a story about stuff working out. I've told two of my past girlfriends, it was kind of interesting because at the time I honestly was just figuring stuff out myself.

good luck and have fun :-)

~Kaliess