Incontinence Related Support Group

[phogendpf]

Ok, so I have been wanting to meet a girl who wears diapers and I was thinking that a local incontinent support group might help me find a girl who wears diapers and maybe meet others who have to wear diapers. I found this one "The IC Support Group of San Diego" but is it Kosher for me to go there when I don't suffer from IC? I wear diapers 24/7 but not for medical need. I would most likely at the very minimum need an excuse like Im a bedwetter or have a weak bladder or something but do you think they would ask me to go more into detail? They have 4 meetings a year and ones coming up in a few days so I need to make up my mind quick. I have good intentions but I need to know what Im getting into and if I would even be slightly welcome. How many people should be there and do you think and girls 18-25 would be there if they had to wear diapers? Please help if you have ever been to a local support group. Thanks

[sarahjane]

Ok, so I have been wanting to meet a girl who wears diapers and I was thinking that a local incontinent support group might help me find a girl who wears diapers and maybe meet others who have to wear diapers. I found this one "The IC Support Group of San Diego" but is it Kosher for me to go there when I don't suffer from IC?

Yes, I think it would be inappropriate.

Medical sites are not dating sites.

If you found someone, when the girl found out, she would probably be offended that you had lied to her.

Also, even on this site people get upset when users fake things to post in the "incontinent" forum.

Finally, all the incontinent sites I visit get their fill of AB/DL users lying on the boards and looking for love in several wrong places. You'll be one of a whole bunch of users who have done this, and probably just irritate the folks with incontinence.

You've got a whole lot better chance of meeting someone here.

So, that's my opinion. I will now stand by while everyone here skewers me....

[phogendpf]

Ive tried here, its just nearly impossible. Especially meeting someone local. I realize its a little inappropriate but in addition to my original questions, do you think I could get away with it? Are bedwetters allowed to go to these meetings?

[PampersPete]

Anyone who claims incontinence can attend incontinence meetings. With that said,fuck the people who get offended if you come on here. It seems now days people LOVE to bitch about something so they'll at least gain a little attention to their worthless little lives. I do however agree that going to a medical discussion for the purpose of dating is a tad unethical. If anything,get a good fake ID and go party in Hillcrest

[Angela Bauer]

Every incontinence support group sets up their own rules. Many do consider adults wetting the bed and yet are dry when awake to be incontinent. Up to puberty only wetting at night is termed enuresis.

However, it is very unlikely a person who has not been treated by several urologists can get away with faking when discussing incontinence on a medial support group. Trust me, since long before the www every medical professional treating incontinence has known about ABDL and infantilism. I cannot remember the last time I met an incontinent woman who had not been hounded by ABDL men. You never know, you might be lucky.

Actually, you would be far better off just trying to meet women living near you in conventional ways. Yes, AB works for me as a coping strategy, but a whole lot of incontinent people find ABDL repulsive. The odds are probably better with a woman who is not incontinent.

Ive tried here, its just nearly impossible. Especially meeting someone local. I realize its a little inappropriate but in addition to my original questions, do you think I could get away with it? Are bedwetters allowed to go to these meetings?

[AndB]

If you're a bedwetting adult, most incontinence groups probably would think that's OK. They'd be more than happy to help you cope with that if you need it.

However, if you're going there to meet a diapered woman to fulfill your sexual fantasies, that's not cool.

[diamondback6881]

IMO, I think it is inappropriate. I have never been to any local support groups, so I can't tell you what the age demographic is. You would do better to check www.alt.com or a similar site.

[sarahjane]

I cannot remember the last time I met an incontinent woman who had not been hounded by ABDL men.

And that was my point. And the reason so many incontinent folks are freaked out and intolerant of the AB/DL crowd is that they invade every incontinence forum and destroy it, either by posting their fantasies or lying and claiming to need help, when all they want is people to convince them to wear diapers and provide whacking material.

I got so way-sick of people trying to contact me to work on their sexual fantasies that I now go to significant trouble to hide my personal information.

Last week one came on to an incontinence forum I read [but never post] talking about how he is 24, and developed bladder problems. And now his mom comes over and checks his diaper every half-hour to see if he is wet, then changes him in front of others. He says he is so happy....

All that sort of crap does is freak out users who are not interested in an AB/DL lifestyle. If you're already having a tough time dealing with your incontinence and feeling self-conscious, the last thing you want is someone running up like a yapping dog and wanting to roll in it.

It's even bad here, where you have to expect a bit of it. But this is the only site that has detailed information on diapers.

The incontinence forums here--even when the site is full of specific AB/DL forums--are basically worthless because they are overrun with wannabe-incontinent AB/DL users and most incontinent users stay away.

[Inco24/7]

Just come accross this little thread and thought being as I am 1 of the unlucky few who have double incontinence Id give my opinoins on this........

I can see the the attraction to going to things like this and wanting to meet others who wear etc... but Im not sure if doing it the way you are intending to is quite the right way about it............

Sure short term you might pull it off for a little while, but when the usual medical questions arise that come with being incontinent, like........who is your Urologist and what do you think to Urodynamics etc... and what type of incontinence do you have etc. etc. etc.... thats when I think you are likely to trip yourself up a little. Also I feel by pretending to be something you arent to meet a girl who genuinely is incontinent, if and when she does find out the whole incontinence issue has been put on by yourself Im imagining she would feel pretty hurt and betrayed.

My advice is this........... Me ?? personally ?? if I had that choice Id try somewhere like here or as suggested in other posts, Alt.com or just do as a lot of us have and play the waiting game, Miss right will come in time im sure !!

Altimately though the choice and desision you decide to make on this one is up to you.

Just bear in mind to some their incontinence is something that is a touchy subject for them to open up about and something they may feel extremely insecure and embarrassed about, I know when I started suffering with it 2 years ago I was a wreck !!.

As for incontinence forums and AB/DL folk, I personally have nothing against AB's or DL's and over time have struck up good friendships with both, and also gained some helpful knowledge in the past despite the only difference between me and them is I need to wear and they choose to, In some ways I actually admire them and indeed all you guys !!

I come here simply for the chat and fun the site provides, I did try being as at the time and to my knowledge there still isnt a incontinence support group or forum etc.. in the UK and started a website called UK Incontinence Support Group UKISG for short and tried to run it for a year or so............. It turned out to be a big flop and although I was willing to share experiences and help by giving advice etc to those who needed help, the site was sledomly used and in the end was pulled from the www. I therefore learnt a valuble lesson that although there are others like me out there, only some are willing like me to talk and discuss their problems with others, there are a lot who would rather not have their "secret" known and remain quiet about their medical issues, which I now respect . To anyone out there going through the pains and stresses of life incontinence inflicts on you and have overcome your fears and learnt to deal with this condition you are now faced with I salute you with the utmost of respect . To those out there who havent come to terms with situations, you have my sympathy and comfort and please remember ............... you are not alone

Hugs Inco

[sarahjane]

And I've mentioned before that II have nothing against AB/DL folks, I'm glad you found something that makes you happy and I wish I could "get off" on my problems. I keep thinking I can somehow, but in the end when I get really sick, it's just traumatic and I remember how bad it can be. I have memories of sitting trapped in a restroom stall and sobbing, wondering how I could get home. Nothing fun about that for me. I'm sure some of you would get a real charge out of soiling yourself in public and having to take a bus home with everyone knowing what you had done, but it's not my thing.

It's the behaviour of certain AB/DL users that is the problem.

Imagine if a cigar smoker came over to you, sat in your lap, blew smoke in your face, and assumes you like it. Some people will, but they are the minority. Everyone else is just offended.

[Dill_Pickle]

Ive tried here, its just nearly impossible. Especially meeting someone local. I realize its a little inappropriate but in addition to my original questions, do you think I could get away with it? Are bedwetters allowed to go to these meetings?

Phogen:

No, No, and No on misrepresenting yourself as incontinent. You aren't, and you don't want a relationship on that basis, because it will get figured out, and the relationship will be ended, and not by you.

Instead, simply go find you a partner....she will help you not to be such a clod, and the incontinents here are complaining precisely about such clods as you that don't quite grok the usual social rules. You might want to go find your local BDSM scene (if your clueless, start with a gay bar and ask around a bit), as the women there tend to be open to your nonstandard sexuality. But regular women are too.

[phogendpf]

Phogen:

No, No, and No on misrepresenting yourself as incontinent. You aren't, and you don't want a relationship on that basis, because it will get figured out, and the relationship will be ended, and not by you.

Instead, simply go find you a partner....she will help you not to be such a clod, and the incontinents here are complaining precisely about such clods as you that don't quite grok the usual social rules. You might want to go find your local BDSM scene (if your clueless, start with a gay bar and ask around a bit), as the women there tend to be open to your nonstandard sexuality. But regular women are too.

First off, Im not a "clod". Im simply looking to meet a girl who wears diapers (whether for need or not). It seems next to impossible to find a girl online who wears diapers and then will meet you offline because they are hounded by abdl guys everyday so its hard for us non "clod" guys to get through. What a great way to meet a local girl who wears diapers by going to an incontinence support group? I bet that any incontinent girl has trouble being accepted by guys so thats why I think they would be willing to go out with a guy who wears diapers just like them. If that means that I have to misrepresent myself in the beginning than so be it. So I guess what Im saying is the end justifies the means

[Eric D]

First off, Im not a "clod". Im simply looking to meet a girl who wears diapers (whether for need or not). It seems next to impossible to find a girl online who wears diapers and then will meet you offline because they are hounded by abdl guys everyday so its hard for us non "clod" guys to get through. What a great way to meet a local girl who wears diapers by going to an incontinence support group? I bet that any incontinent girl has trouble being accepted by guys so thats why I think they would be willing to go out with a guy who wears diapers just like them. If that means that I have to misrepresent myself in the beginning than so be it. So I guess what Im saying is the end justifies the means

starting a relationship on lies is a rather good recipe for failure and loads of problems.

Common - it ain't so hard.... try to think how YOU would FEEL if you'd be that girl and some bloke comes to a IC SUPPORT GROUP (not the local KINK MEETING PLACE btw.) and would make up a buch of bollocks about being incontinent blah blah, only because he's TURNED SEXUALY ON by YOUR INCONTINENCE ??? it's WRONG - morally. and no matter how much you try on justifying what you're about to do, you know it's wrong.

another thing... I don't know what the fuck it is these days, I'm was born in 1980 - 28 years ago... back then internet wasn't available and somehow all those girls and boys still did meet... kink was existing back then as it is today... BDSM Clubs existed as they do today... whatever.

BUT WHY NOT just try to MEET a good girl whom you actually fall in love with because of the person she is and not because of a medical condition she has... and then when there's love, talk.

sorry dude...

however if you truly want to go to that support group, at least be honest and don't claim to be incontinent... maybe someone's openminded.

[phogendpf]

This post was basically designed to see what I should do. The overall reaction seems to be negative as I thought it would be. I thought it would be a creative way to meet another person who wears diapers since I can't seem to meet any, any other way. The meeting is actually today and No I am not going. I am however still looking for an abdl girl online but as usual the search is still difficult and not going anywhere

[Eric D]

This post was basically designed to see what I should do. The overall reaction seems to be negative as I thought it would be. I thought it would be a creative way to meet another person who wears diapers since I can't seem to meet any, any other way. The meeting is actually today and No I am not going. I am however still looking for an abdl girl online but as usual the search is still difficult and not going anywhere

listen mate, why is it that you're so bloody fixated on fucken find a DIAPER WEARING GIRL... oy, look there's a ton of nice sweet, intelligent and beautiful young lassies out there - I am 100% sure that there is someone out there whom you could fall in love with, gain some expeirence at life - if she loves you and is not totally adverted to a bit of kink play (most are quite ok with it, believe me) she will eventually try diapering you, or wearing diapers in certain situations.

Go and get out there - the life happens outside of the internet mostly. God, I feel like some old geezer sometimes when I read all those posts about "I can't find a girl here on the internet who is 120% perfectly matching my wish-list"... Why don't so many "young" people just don't realize, that it's more important to actually find someone to love than someone who matches their darn facebook profile or myspace dreamscape.

lad, I'm glad you didn't do that thing with the inco support group - Creative? no it was a fairly braindead idea.

One word about girls... you won't make yourself more attractive by being so frickin' self centered and whiney "buhu I can't find a diaper wearing girlfriend, I'm feeling so self-sorrry buhu..."

You want someone who's openminded and accepting? maybe start with yourself... try not to make your wee lil' fetish the most important thing about your person and then maybe you'll see there's a whole lot more than just diapers... after all a girl wants to be loved too and not because she (has to) wear diapers.

Yeah, whatever - think what you want... but try to give this some thought....

[Tinkles123]

I was very happy to hear that you didn't go to the incontinence support group meeting. You had absolutely no business being there, as I think you really know. From what you said, you have no daytime incontinence and you don't wet your bed. Your not going demonstrates that you actually do listen when you ask for others' opinions. That's a good thing.

[Hunter1076]

If you want a hint at meeting a girl who wears diapers, Hang out at the local drugstore.....

Try the hospital.

Alt.com

Just walk up to a girl in a bar and say " hey..Want to try something new?"

But lying to a group is just wrong. That new cute girl may seem hot but she is trying to cope with some HARD life altering facts right now and doesn't need some guy putting the make on her.

Be direct about your wants in life, But be truthful too.

you will get more out of life and a happier relationship if you are just honest.

[fairfaxdl]

First off, Im not a "clod". Im simply looking to meet a girl who wears diapers (whether for need or not). It seems next to impossible to find a girl online who wears diapers and then will meet you offline because they are hounded by abdl guys everyday so its hard for us non "clod" guys to get through. What a great way to meet a local girl who wears diapers by going to an incontinence support group? I bet that any incontinent girl has trouble being accepted by guys so thats why I think they would be willing to go out with a guy who wears diapers just like them. If that means that I have to misrepresent myself in the beginning than so be it. So I guess what Im saying is the end justifies the means

I think the main thing is that for the people in the group, it IS a support group. not a singles meeting. They are there to cope with a problem. Hooking up with someone is probably not why they are there.

BTW, would their be many mixed incontinent groups? Seems to me that most women or men would not want to discuss such a thing with a member of the opposite set. I would imagine that for some men, it is rather emasculating.

Why not put a personal ad in the paper or on a website?

"Great Guy looking for girl who is into diapers." You may get some good response if you word it right.

[StenCoil]

Look: A) Hooking up with someone at an IC support group is probably so far down the list of anyone's priorities, and it is really inappropriate. When you are incon for real it is sooooo not erotic - it ain't fun or cute or sexy anymore. Its a pain in the @ss.

I know at least in Kaiser Permanente here in Washington / Oregon you are refered to the IC support group by a urologist. Its not like you just "show up" for the punch and cookies. The coordinator at the meetings will be looking at your medical chart.

C) The way it works is women have their own support group and men have theirs. Never the 'twain shall meet. The issues each group faces are different, and I don't know any women who would be really comfortable discussing these issues with a strange man.

Finding a date whose into dipes is realistically probably never going to happen right off the bat. You probably need to build a real relationship first and then work in the diaper thing very slowly as time goes on. Don't lie, that will make matters worse. Or find a pro that you can pay to play with. Or get an account at alt.com.

You really want to evaluate the priorities in your life - there are a million things more important than you being in a diaper - and you have to accept the fact nobody cares except you, and that your fetish will freak out most women. They'll be looking at their list of choices for who to go out with and if you bring up diapers too soon they will go screaming in the opposite direction as fast as possible.

It is very, very common that diaper fetishists want people to "see" them in their dipes, and if you are wanting to act on these fantasies for real, you'd better seek some professional help. Do not drag innocent bystanders into your fetish fantasies, as you don't want to be convicted as a sexual predator - as is beginning to happen for real. A couple months ago a guy was trying to meet women in a bar and was "accidentally" showing them his diaper - he's now a convicted sex predator, and his life is shot.

Play it cool. Build a real relationship with someone you love first, and if its right the fetish won't be a big deal. But please don't go after a relationship based on a fetish alone...

[phogendpf]

Why not put a personal ad in the paper or on a website?

"Great Guy looking for girl who is into diapers." You may get some good response if you word it right.

Oh, I have tried and tried and tried and tried and tried that many times over. It seems nearly impossible to meet a girl who wears diapers.

Finding a date whose into dipes is realistically probably never going to happen right off the bat. You probably need to build a real relationship first and then work in the diaper thing very slowly as time goes on. Don't lie, that will make matters worse. Or find a pro that you can pay to play with. Or get an account at alt.com.

The problem with that, is that even if I magically find a girl who will accept me wearing a diaper, she won't want to wear herself. So finding a normal girl is almost completely pointless. I would be much happier with a girl who wears diapers. I would think an incontinent girl would have a hard time meeting an accepting guy. So I thought its pretty much a win-win for both of us. I accept her wearing diapers and she accepts me. I have tried every site on the internet and still have not found a girl who wears diapers who would be willing to meet.