It's A Boy!

I also like the way the author mentions these two things as though they are totally related. This may the best link ever. This week.

I don't know if I actually had to do anything. Suddenly one day, it said I was "Verified 18+" ...

I going to go with #3/#4. Both of my parents worked. When I was first born, my mom took me with her everywhere. But (I gather) around the time I was 5 or 6 months old, I started to go to sitters. I remember going days when I would only see my dad for a few minutes. I always got to see my mom for a couple hours every day. I know that my mom pulled me out of one day care situation because the sitter's father was abusive/inappropriate. I don't really remember much about that. I remember being 3 or 4 and getting up to leave for the sitter's in the morning. My mom was getting ready to get me dressed. She said that she was throwing out my baby stuff, and wanted to know if I wanted to wear the last diaper or if she should just throw it away. I said I wanted to wear it. I remember how loved I felt as she put it on me, even though I was terribly embarassed later in the day when I had to tell the sitter I was wearing a diaper. Anyway, I associated the diaper with comfort, and have had the desire to wear them ever since. I started to really act out to get more attention when I was about 12/13, and tried to steal diapers, first from a friend's potty trained brother, and then from a local store. That did not end well. But overall my childhood was not unhappy. I'm pretty close to my parents now.

That made my day.

Do you have a stuffed animal or a plushie? What kind of animal is he or she? What's his or her name? Any stories involving them? I have a stuffed dog. (I have no idea what kind of dog he's supposed to be.) His name is Grimly. He and I have had alot of good times together since he came home from Toys R Us. He once got lost 'cause United lost my bag, and I was pretty upset. I also have a bear named Teddy (original, huh?) but I don't sleep with him too much any more 'cause I've had him since I was little and he's starting to wear out from overuse. Who else?

I'm in Madison and might be interested...

But interestingly, her television show on Comedy Central (premeried tonight) seemed to have some infantilist overtones. Ex: toward the end of the program, her sister is taking her home and says, "Let's get you scrubbed up." She's an interesting one!

Just finished reading your story so far-- it was really great! Thanks for all the hard work!

Just finished reading your story so far-- it was really great! Thanks for all the hard work!

That sucks. I've have accidents with two cars (neither accident my fault). Once they "fixed" it, and the car broke a few months later as a result of their "repairs", and the other time I got money for a new car. Sounds like your car may be in the "totalled" catagory, which, based on my experience, may actually benefit you. Best of luck...

There isn't an easy answer to that. So far as I am aware, there are no hypnotic tapes, no works every time self help books, no pills you can take, and no easy answers. What you're describing sounds, from my personal experinece and from what I've read on support groups like this, like a pretty typical binge/purge cycle. You have a compulsion to wear diapers, you wear them (probably intensely) for a period of time, and then you throw out everything. You swear you're going to quit, and everything is fine for a week, month, or maybe longer, and then you have the compulsion to wear again, and you go out and do the same thing over again. There is an online group (Christian based, I believe) that thinks AB/DLs are doing something wrong and has a support group based around quitting. However, as other people on this forum and others have suggested, that's not a particularly healthy thing to do, to destroy a part of yourself (the AB/DL part) that has become so intrigral to your personality at this point. But that is an option. It also sounds that you're depressed right now, and feeling guilty for indulging in this behavior. Even if you think nothing is wrong with AB/DLs, you still may think there is something wrong with you. I've been working on self-acceptance and striking a balance in my life since I was 13, so a bit less than half my life, and to be honest, I still occassionally go though binge/purge cycles, I still sometimes get depressed, and I still sometimes wish that I could quit forever. Unfortunately, it's just not that easy. I am sure that others on this board have struggled with this issues far longer, and perhaps some of them have found some sort of answer, but obviously many have not. I think your sentiment, that you want to quit, that you can't take this any more, is something that the majority of the people in this community feel at least some of the time. I've come to think of that as a cry of frustration; it's what we say when we don't understand ourselves and feel isolated. Unfortunately, as other people have written before me, the whole binge/purge cycle is still an expression of a toddler-ish mindset, that it's all or nothing, that you have to choose between two extremes of "diapers" or "not diapers". In spite of sometimes thinking in these terms, I make a big effort not to do so, because I've found it simply isn't helpful. Constantly binging and purging does nothing for my self-esteem, for my self-acceptance, or my self-understanding, and therefore, I try to incorperate the AB/DL part of me into my life, and avoid any all-or-nothing thinking. So here's what I'd suggest: 1) Try to strike some sort of balance. Don't go and wear diapers for two days straight and then throw them all out. Incorperate them into your life on a regular basis, when you start to feel the urge coming on. 2) If you must purge, make the economic impact as small as possible. Don't through away everything. Pack some stuff up and put it in the closet. Throw away something that represents your desire for diapers, such as a diaper, or a package of diapers, or something. As time goes on, you'll find that your need to throw out something valuable is less, and at least it won't cost your a fortune ever time you start to wear again. 3) Work hard on self-acceptance and self-understanding. I say this with the utmost respect. I know that since I was 18 (hey, since I was 13, or maybe even before) I have grown enormously personally. It is hard. It is painful. Ask yourself why you have these desire, and really think about it. Analize your attitudes toward AB/DL-ness, and toward yourself. Work as hard as you can to be ok with yourself. 4) Understand that you may not be able to quit, even if you try hard, and don't beat yourself up for failing. Most of us didn't choose to be this way, most of us have tried to quit, and most of us have failed multiple multiple times. 5) Don't think of things in an either/or context. You can have normal relationships and diapers, you can have a normal life and diapers. Trust me, it's sometimes difficult. Many of us, myself included have huge problems with intimacy because (I think) even if we accept ourselves, we don't believe others will accept us. I'm still trying to figure that mess out. 6) Work through your depression in positive ways. Don't engage in self-destructive behaviors. I don't know what the rate of substance abuse is in this community, but really, it's not the answer. Drinking/drugging yourself into a stupor/happiness is not a long term solutions, and it's not a positive short term solution. 7) Continue to reach out to other people like you. I don't participate much here, but I do read basically everything. It really helps me feel better about myself. I don't mean that other people have it worse than me, I mean that I realize I am not alone and get to see how other people work through similar life-issues. 8) Don't let this take over your life. You're in control. Make sure you feel like you're in control. It also helps. 9) Don't worry too much about anything. Life's too short. Do what you like to do, and do it on your terms, as long as you don't hurt anyone else doing it. So much of life is figuring out what you want to do and just doing it, and not worrying about what other people think. It's tough sometimes, but it's the most personally rewarding thing you can do. I'm still working on that too. If you still want to quit, go ahead and give it a shot. There is an article about it (I think) on Bittergrey's (http://understanding.infantilism.org/) website. Actually, I think alot of the stuff on his site is pretty insightful, and is at least worth a once-over. All in all, it's your decision. You should do what's best for yourself. For me, I've found that fighting this takes more energy than I have to give it and produces basically zero gain. For me, it's an easy cost-benifit analysis: wear diapers, be happy, find balance and self-understanding vs. don't wear diapers, go through periods of happiness and periods of depression, relapse any way, have enormous guilt, and lack self-understanding. Plus, then I'd have some close calls getting to the bathroom on time. I mean, nope... Anyway, sorry this is so long, but that's just my take on it. Others may have totally different points of view that may work just as well or better for them. Best of luck. And if you really do find something that works, share your story with the community. There are plenty of other people in your shoes.

The banjo is awesome! I've been thinking maybe taking some lessons, but my plate's a little bit too full right now. I play the violin (which I haven't been practicing), guitar (sort of), and took piano and trumpet until high school. I sort of wanted to be a music major, but I'm really not good/dedicated enough...

^.^ Was also a boy scout. However, I've had an ebay account since I was about 14 and have had a credit card/paypal account since I was about 16, and while I've been looking at AB/DL auctions for a while, I never had the courage to purchase anything until I lived alone. I doubt many kids are going to be buying AB/DL videos anyway. I mean, diapers/accessories maybe, but videos?

I like Flushers personally. The water's off in my building; too bad for the flushers!

If you're nervous, just buy the diapers in one place and anything else you need (wipes, powder, rash cream etc.) at another. That way, you won't be walking around the store with anything embarassing. Visualize the transaction: You go into the store, find the diaper aisle, pick up the package, walk to the front of the store, smile at the cashier, pay, and leave. I've had my fair share of embarassed gaze-averting, but it has pretty much stopped bothering me. I've never had anyone say anything to me regarding my purchase. Just go ahead and do it; the more you act nervous and walk around, the more you'll prolong your embarassment and possibly attract attention--not that anyone else will really care. Best of luck!

Where did you get the organic ones? Sounds good!

Ok, so baby food. Some of it's good, some of it's terrible. How do you tell which is which? Post your experiences here! Here are some of my recent ones: Gerber Sphagetti Dinner-- Stage Three: This was interesting-- lots of nice textures, but overall tasted like apple sauce. I like apple sauce 3/5 Gerber Oatmeal with Apples and Bannanas-- Stage Two: This was fine, but it just tasted like apple sauce. I see a pattern emerging. 3/5 Del Monte Mushed Peas-- Stage 2: GROSS! I still hate the peas. They're watery and slimey. I thought I could get past the green color, but no. I also thought I now liked peas, but apparently not. They're almost bitter tasting. 1/500000 Anyway, post other baby foods you've tried.

I guess the motorcycle is really a sticking point! We'll have to wait and see... Here's another batch. Matt was playing with a car ramp and Rose was playing with some dolls when they heard the garage door open upstairs. Rose grabbed Matt’s arm and practically dragged him up the stairs yelling, “Daddy’s home! Daddy’s home!” Matt was nervous; would this man like him? What would it be like to have a father? They reached the top and Matt tripped on the top step because he was trying to get up the stairs so quickly. They ran through the kitchen and down the hall, and the door to the garage was just opening up, and a fit middle aged man in a business suit walked in. “Hey angel!” he said, and Rose flung her arms around him. “Hi dada! I got a new brother today! His name’s Matt.” “I know sweetheart!” Rose finally stopped hugging him, and Daddy came over and gave Matt a hug. “Hi kiddo,” he said, “I’m going to be your dad.” Matt’s trepidation disappeared. “Hi!” he said, and his face turned red. He was embarrassed, but somehow he knew that this man loved him already, and he felt better than he’d felt in a long time. Daddy walked over to Mommie and kissed her on the cheek. Mommie stopped what she was doing and kissed him back. “Ewww,” said Rose, “That’s icky.” “How was your day Lins?” he asked “It was great. We’ll talk more about it later.” “Do I have time to change my clothes before dinner?” “Sure, we’ll be ready to do the kids in five minutes.” He started to go upstairs. “Oh, and Adam? Could you grab me a hair clip while you’re up there?” “Sure.” “Isn’t Daddy great?” Rose asked Matt. He didn’t say anything, but he smiled. “Let’s go, you two. In your chairs.” Matt hadn’t noticed earlier, but there were two big highchairs in a corner near the table. Mommie brought them out and pulled out the trays. Matt and Rose both obediently sat down, and then she strapped them in and locked the trays in place. She brought out a couple of big jars of puréed baby food and a little bit of solid food on two plastic plates. Just then, Daddy came back downstairs. “I do Rose tonight if you want to do Matt,” Mommie said. “Sure.” Daddy grabbed two bibs out of the kitchen pantry, and handed one to Mommie, then he tied the other one around Matt’s neck. Matt was starting to get embarrassed again. “I can do it without…” Daddy just shushed him. They started with some sort of cereal that was like oatmeal from the solid food. Daddy took each spoonful and brought it up to Matt’s mouth. “Now open wide,” he said, and placed the food inside. Mommie did the same thing with Rose. It was great. Matt stopped worrying about school, his part time job doing research work on the weekends… oh no! He’d forgotten. He started to squirm. “What’s wrong Matty?” Daddy asked. “I have to go to work tomorrow, and I forgot to tell them, and now I’m going to miss it and then…” “Don’t worry,” Daddy said, “We’ll get it all taken care of.” Matt had never felt so helpless before, and the thought that someone else would help him take care of things, that he wasn’t alone in all this, was very comforting. His eyes teared up just thinking about it. “Now smile for Daddy. Wasn’t that yummy? Tell Mommie you thought the cereal was yummy.” “I liked it!” Matt said, and he smiled, and just started to enjoy himself. Then Daddy fed Matt some squished pees. Matt thought he wouldn’t like the green mess, but it wasn’t so bad. He realized that he was getting food all over his face and bib, but he didn’t care. Occasionally, Daddy had to wipe his face. Finally, Daddy gave him the plastic plate with some little chunks of pear on it. “Go ahead and eat those Matty, and I’ll get you a bottle. Daddy got a bottle out of the fridge and warmed it up in the microwave. When he brought it back, Matt was almost done with his pears. “Now finish your pears and drink up little one.” Matt didn’t really like the taste of it, but he drank it anyway. Rose didn’t seem to like her squished pees too much. She kept making faces and saying “Yuck!” Mommie wasn’t too happy, but eventually gave her some pears and a bottle. “We’ll try again after Daddy and I eat.” The adults sat down at the table and ate their meal, which was chicken and rice with vegetables. When Daddy was almost done with his second plate, he gave Matt little bites of everything. “That’s for being so good and finishing all your food!” he said. Finally, when they were finished, they cleared the table. Daddy let Matt out of his highchair and gave him a refill on his bottle with juice instead of milk, but Mommie didn’t let Rose out of her chair. “We’re going to try again with those pees,” she said. “No,” said Rose, “please please please no!” but Mommie just sat down. “Here comes an airplane!” she said, and tried to feed her. Daddy took Matt by the hand. “In here, sport,” and they walked into the family room. Daddy sat down on the couch and patted his lap. Matt sat down, still sucking on his bottle of juice, snuggling with Daddy. “Listen Matt, I’m really glad that you’ve come to live with us. There’s one thing we need to talk about though.” Matt stopped sucking on his juice. “What’s that Dada?” “I was watching earlier today when you threw that tantrum and Mommie had to spank you.” “You were?” Matt’s eyes got wide. “How?” “You don’t think Mommie can just adopt a baby without asking me, do you? We have cameras in the house and in the store, and I can watch you anytime I want online.” “Oh…” Matt was ashamed that he had thrown the tantrum, ashamed that Mommie had spanked him, and even more ashamed that his new Daddy had seen it. He looked down at the ground. “Look at me. Now I saw that you tried to hit Mommie and kick her when she was spanking you, and that was very naughty. You could hurt her.” “But she was trying to spank me!” “That’s only because you were being naughty, and needed to be reminded of who was in charge. I know you’re just a little boy, and little boys throw tantrums sometimes, but I also know that you’re an awfully big little boy, and that you could actually hurt Mommie, when all she really wants to do is help you and love you. Ok?” Matt nodded. “Now if I see you trying to hit Mommie again, for any reason, or if I see you hitting anyone else, I will give you a spanking myself, even if you’ve already been punished for it by someone else. Do you understand?” “Yes Daddy.” “Ok then, do you want me to read you a story while you finish your juice and we wait for Rose and Mommie?” Matt nodded yes. He crawled over to the bookcase and picked out a book of Shel Silversteen. Daddy read the funny poems while Matt lay his head on Daddy’s lap, drank his juice, and listened. By the time Mommie was done feeding Rose, Matt was fast asleep, and his diaper was soaked. Mommie came in and just smiled at Daddy. “He’s had a rough day,” Mommie said. “I know. I’ve been afraid to move for about half an hour for fear of waking him.” “Matt! Matt! Matt! Wanna watch a movie?” Rose was yelling. “Shusss… Rose sweetie, we were trying no to wake Matty up,” said Mommie. “Oh,” she said, “Well he’s awake now. So can we watch a movie?” “If you two want to, that’s fine with me,” Daddy said. Matt was groggy, but he lay on his tummy next to Rose and watched The Parent Trap with Lindsey Lohan. It was a nice movie, but Matt couldn’t stay awake. Soon Rose couldn’t either. “It’s your turn to do some changes,” Mommie said to Daddy, and so Daddy got two extra thick night diapers and changing supplies to diaper his babies. Rose woke up while he was wiping her bottom, but only for a second. She was out again before her new diaper was taped on. Mommie took Rose, and Daddy took Matt, and they carried the two of them upstairs to two side-by-side adult cribs. “You know,” Mommie said, “It’s a good thing I’ve been working out. Rose is starting to get heavy.” The two happy parents picked out a couple stuffed animals for each of the babies, and left a pacifier and baby bottle of water in their cribs. They closed the door and turned out the lights. “You know, we probably should have made them brush their teeth,” said Mommie. “Oh, stop worrying so much. They won’t get cavities overnight. Now, I want to hear all about how things went today.”

Thanks for the replies. I guess the general message is that it's best to be up front from the beginning, and that if it's the right relationship, your partner will be accepting. Sounds scary! Baby Mike

That part is based on a very real (to me) dream I had recently. I guess I thought that selling the motorcycle was pretty much the worst thing anyone could do--I was pretty angry in the dream! Hope people are enjoying it, more today! Baby Mike

Alright, here's the next chapter! I realize that I cut it off a little short at the end there. Hope you like it! Chapter 2 Mommie turned around and left the room, and the little girl waddled over to Matt with a hugely thick cloth diaper between her legs. She plopped down on the floor in front of him. “I’m Rose,” she said. “I’m Matt,” he said. “I know. What do you want to play? “Uhh… I don’t know…” “I want to play hide and seek! I get to hide first. You count to 40. And no peeking!” They played hide and seek, and the first time Rose hid inside the huge toy box. The second time Rose found Matt hiding the playroom closet behind some clothes, but the third time, Matt couldn’t find her, even though he looked everywhere. He was pretty sure that she wasn’t in the playroom, so he started to look for her in the back of the store. He started to walk down the hallway and open the doors. One was a bathroom with a tub, one room just had a cement floor and lots of boxes, including boxes of diapers, and the next was a nursery with two cribs in it! He started by looking around the bathroom; he looked behind the shower curtain in the tub and then he looked underneath the sink. Rose wasn’t in the bathroom. Matt looked in the warehouse room next. He started by looking in all of the aisles, and then he saw a machine with a bunch of boxes around it and inside it. He sat down on the floor and looked underneath. Just then, Matt heard someone behind him clear her throat. “Matt,” Mommie said, “what did I tell you about leaving the playroom?” Matt didn’t know what to say. Mommie bent down on one knee and put her hands on his shoulders. “Well, Rose and I were playing hide and seek, and I couldn’t find her, and so I started to look in the hallway and…” “Listen,” Mommie said, “we can’t have you just running around anywhere. Now I told you to stay in the playroom, and you didn’t listen to me, and that’s unacceptable. Next time I tell you to do something, I want you to do it, or else you’re going to be in big trouble.” Matt didn’t quite know what to say, but he loved feeling like this, helpless, small, just like a toddler. “Let’s go back to the playroom now,” she said. “But Rose…” Matt said. “You let me worry about Rose, now let’s go.” Matt stood up and Mommie took his hand. She led him back down the hall to the playroom. “You sit here and play with some toys. I’m going to find Rose.” Matt sat and played with a toy truck, and realized that his diaper was wet. He had gotten so caught up in playing that he hadn’t even noticed that he’d gone! Cool! A few minutes later Mommie came back with Rose by the hand. She was crying. “I told you not to leave the playroom! That was very naughty of you! Go over to timeout for five minutes while I have a talk with Matt.” Rose was crying, and went over to stand next to a wooden stool in the corner, and faced the wall. Matt couldn’t stop thinking about how cute she looked with her little girl clothes on and with her obvious diaper bulge. The snaps in the crotch of her romper were open, and he could see that her diaper was wet. As he listened to her cry, all he wanted to do was go over and comfort her. But Mommie was coming, and so he looked down and played with his truck. “Matt, honey, we need to talk,” she said. She sat down next to him and put her arm around his shoulder. “I’ve been watching you tonight, and you obviously really enjoyed your time playing here, and judging from your accident earlier and your wet diaper now, you really need those,” she said, pointing to his diaper area. “Matt honey, what you need is a Mommy. You don’t have one, do you?” Matt shook his head no. “You need someone to love you and take care of you, and Rose needs a friend to play with.” In the corner, Rose had stopped crying and turned around. “What do you mean a friend, Mommie?” Rose asked excitedly. “Rose, little girls in timeout need to be quiet. You need to turn around now.” Rose kept looking over at them. “One…” Mommie paused. “Two…” Rose quickly turned around, sat on the stool, and stared at the wall. “Now Matt, I am willing to be your Mommie. You can come home with us tonight, but I want you to commit for at least three months. You can keep going to your job or going to school if you want, but will do what I tell you, go where I tell you, and wear what I tell you all the time. In return, I will take care of you, love you, feed you, and change you. Do you want that Matt?” He nodded his head yes, a bit shocked. It was like a dream come true! She got up and grabbed a piece of paper on a clipboard. “Just sign here.” Matt did. “Ok, it’s settled then. I was sure you’d say yes! Rose, you can come out of timeout now. Matt’s going to be your brother!” “Really!,” Rose yelled. “Oh yah!” She ran over to them and gave Matt and Mommie each a big kiss. “I’m sorry I was naughty,” Rose whispered to Mommie. “It’s ok dear,” and Mommie gave her a big hug. “Come along you two, it’s time to go home.” Mommie turned off the lights, and she held each of their hands as they walk out of the back door of the supply store. She stopped to lock up, and then they walked through the back parking lot, all holding hands, all with big smiles on their faces. Normally Matt would be worried, going outside in nothing but a diaper and a onzie, but he was so happy that he didn’t even worry about it. They walked down a wooded path out of the parking lot, and up a little bit of a hill. They walked down another path that branched off the main path, and there was the back of a huge house. There was a big porch, a huge swing set and play area, and a nice big sandbox. Matt’s eyes lit up when he saw it all. “Wow!” They all went inside. “Rose, you go play while I make dinner. Matt and I need to discuss the rest of his ‘big boy’ issues.” “Mommie,” Rose said, “I need my didee change.” “I’ll change you both in a few minutes, or Daddy will do it when he comes home. Matt, go ahead and sit in the play pen.” There was a large playpen on the floor with two steps that led up to it. One of the sides was down, and Matt climbed into it and sat down. Mommie came and secured the side. It was big enough that Matt didn’t know if he could get over the sides. Wait, he thought. Did she say Daddy? Matt’s father had died when he was six months old and he had never known his father. He was so excited! “Matt,” Mommie asked, “Do you have a job or go to school?” “I go to school,” he said, “I’m getting my Masters in Psychology.” Mommie started chopping vegetables. “As I said earlier, you may continue to go to school if you wish. Do you want to?” Matt shook his head yes. “Ok then, what time do your classes start? “Eleven o’clock every day.” “And when do they end?” “Two thirty.” “I will drop you off at school at 10:30, and pick you up at 3:30. I you will not leave the building during that time without calling me and asking my permission. I’ll give you a cell phone on Monday. Is that understood?” “Yes Mommie,” Matt said, “but I can just ride my motorcycle.” “No,” she said, “you can’t. I have already had it towed away, and we will be selling it at auction next week.” “What?!” Matt stood up in the playpen and went over to the side. “You can’t sell my motorcycle! That’s illegal!” he yelled. He was furious. Mommie looked up from chopping vegetables. “Oh yes I can. That piece of paper you signed gave me the authority to do that and much more. Motorcycles are very dangerous toys, and little boys have no place riding them. Little boys shouldn’t even be driving! The only bike you’re going to be riding is a big wheel or trikey.” “This isn’t right! You can’t do this! Let me out of here! I’m going to the police!” Matt was yelling, and got angrier and angrier the more helpless he felt. Mommie went back to chopping. “Stopping having a tantrum, or you’re going to be sorry,” she said. Matt was too angry to care. “I’m an adult, and I want to leave right now! Let me out, let me out, let me out!” He started to try to climb over the bars of the playpen. “Matt! That is enough. I’m going to count to three. One…” Matt managed to pull his chin up over the top bar. “Two…” Now he had his left leg up. “Three!” Matt jumped over the side and crashed to the floor, as Mommie came rushing over with a wooden spoon in one hand. She grabbed him by the wrist as he tried to get away and dragged him over to the kitchen table kicking and screaming. “No,” he yelled, “You can’t sell my motorcycle, I’m an adult, you can’t do this to me.” Mommie set the spoon down on the table and pulled out a chair. She sat down and pulled Matt over her lap. She was so strong! He kept trying to fight her, but he couldn’t escape. She started to spank him with her hand on top of his onzie and diaper. He tried to kick her, but her right leg trapped his legs, immobilizing him. He tried to move his hands back to protect his butt, but she grabbed both of his small wrists and pinned his arms behind his back. He started to scream as she spanked him. Then, suddenly, she pulled open the snap crotch on his onzie, and untaped his diaper. She pulled open the back, and started to spank him with the spoon. Ouch! It really really hurt! After about 5 spanks with the spoon, Matt had stopped yelling, and by the time she hit 10 he was starting to tear up. After a couple minutes of spanking, he was bawling. “No, Mommie, no, don’t’ spank me, no, no, stop, no.” Finally she stopped spanking him, and he just lay over her knee crying. She put her arm under his chest and gently pulled him up. His soggy diaper fell off her lap onto the ground. She stood him up and gave him a big hug. “Matt baby, I’m sorry that I had to spank you, but you just can’t throw tantrums like that. Now what I did with your motorcycle was for your own good. I’m in charge here now, and you need to listen to me. Understand?” Matt was still crying but he nodded his head yes. “You are going to be staying here a long time, and you need to understand that I’m the adult, and I’m in charge. I’m only doing what I think is best for you, ok honey?” Matt nodded again, and stopped crying. She took out a tissue and wiped his eyes. “Anything else we need to talk about?” Matt shook his head no. “Ok baby grab your diaper, let’s go find Rose and get you two changed before dinner.” Mommie took Matt by the hand, and they went downstairs to find Rose in a playroom that was even bigger than the one in the medical supply store. “Rose, honey, let’s get your didee changed before dinner.” “Otay,” she said, and stood up. Matt could see the huge outline of her diaper between her legs. Matt’s red butt was diaperless and exposed; “Did you give Matt a spanking Mama?” “Never mind dear, that’s none of your business.” “What did he do?” Mommie didn’t answer, and they walked into a changing room off the playroom. “Since Matt doesn’t have on a diaper yet, we’ll do him first.” Matt lay back on the changing table and felt her caress his tummy and penis and sore bottom with a lavender scented babywipe. He was still sniffing a bit from the spanking, and as she massaged diaper rash cream into his butt (“Don’t want baby to get a rash!” she said happily), he could feel his growing errection. It felt so good that he stopped sniffing, and by the time she’d sprinkled him with a little bit of talcum and taped on a new diaper, he felt happier and more loved than in any other time in his adult life. She kissed him on the cheek and snapped up his onzie. Then it was Rose’s turn. When Mommie removed Rose’s cloth diaper, Matt noticed an awful smell. “Looks like someone went poo-poo!” Matt watched as she cleaned off Rose’s cute hairless butt, and then proceeded to use a fresh wipe to clean around her vaginal lips, and then on top of them. Rose started to smile and squirm, and then Mommie stopped suddenly. She grabbed a fresh disposable. “It’ll be easier to have you in a disposible too until we get enough cloth didees for Matt too. Otherwise, we’ll have to carry around double the number of diapers every time we go out!” Rose just smiled. Finally, with the smell of baby powder in the air, Mommie helped Rose off the table. “Now you two stay down here and play until Daddy gets home, and then we’ll have dinner, ok?” “Otay!” they both said. Mommie went upstairs and left the babies alone to play.

So I'm new to the board, but I had a question: For those of you with sexual partners who know about your fetish, and at what point did you tell them about it? How did you go about broaching the subject? Sorry to be nosy, but I'm just curious...

Matt was 22, six feet tall, but extremely slender. He was like any other first year grad student except that he liked to wear diapers, especially at night in his bed, but sometimes he wore quiet ones under his clothes to school as well, just for the excitement and sense of security. It helped him deal with the stress of his classes and sometimes he just needed to wear them, especially at night after a few drinks, as he had kind of a small bladder. Late one Friday afternoon after classes, Matt was sitting at home in his didee watching TV. He had eaten Taco Bell for dinner, and finished one of their huge 64 ounce root beers with his chicken quesadilla. As he lay on the couch watching the Disney channel and sucking on his pacifier, he found that he really needed to pee, and without much thought, he just let a flood of urine run into his diaper. He lay on the couch and let the warm padding squish around his peepee and wished that there was someone there to change him, right there on the couch while he watched TV. Finally, after about an hour, he got up and went into the bathroom to change his diaper. He looked in the cupboard and found that he only had one diaper left! This was no good at all. He lay down on the linoleum floor and lay his head on the bathmat next to the tub. He undid the tapes on both sides of the soggy diaper, and started to clean his peepee with a lavender scented babywipe. He massaged the tip of his penis, and it felt SO good. He started to rub faster, and faster, and faster, but his stopped before he reached orgasm. Then he grabbed a fresh wipe and cleaned up his bottom. He took the fresh diaper, spread it open on the floor next to him, then lifted up his bum and slid the old one away. Next, he slid the new diaper under himself, then applied a coat of diaper rash cream all over his tummy, peepee, and bottom. He straightened out the new diaper, put on a bit of talcum powder, and then taped up the new diaper nice and tight. He pulled up his pants, and he was done! Now, Matt knew that he needed to go out and get more diapers—after all, you can’t spend a weekend in diapers properly unless you have fresh ones. So Matt grabbed his helmet and a nice big backpack, and went downstairs to the parking lot where he got on his motorcycle. Vroom! It started right up, just like it always did, and he felt the fresh diaper pressing against his crotch as he sat on the seat. He wondered if people could see the outline of his diaper as he rode off, but it didn’t bother him too much. Almost immediately, he had to pee again. Part of it was the soda, part of it was the vibrations, and part of it was the bumpiness of the road. But hey, that’s what diapers are for, right? And as much as Matt wanted to stop it, he found himself peeing—a lot. The medical supply store Matt was going to was almost five miles away. He had never been there, but he had called them last week, and they had seemed to have a wide variety of diapers. The more local stores always seem to. As he came to a red light about five minutes later, he found that he had to pee again. The soda had really done a number. He kept following the directions he’d gotten from MapQuest, but somehow he kept lost. He had to pee again. He road around for a few minutes, and realized that he’d made a wrong turn and was about a mile too far west of where he wanted to be. He turned around and headed in the other direction. There was an awful lot of traffic, and Matt kept having to pee more and more. He could feel the diaper start to swell up underneath his jeans, and it started to leak onto the legs and butt of his jeans. Luckily, he saw the medical supply company not too far off. Unfortunately, he thought that the store closed at 5 o’clock, and it was five minutes to. He parked his bike, and ran into the store. He could feel people at the nearby bus stop staring at him. It was really embarrassing, and he hoped that there was no one there that he knew. As he enter the shop, he saw a middle aged woman helping an older disabled man and his daughter pick out a wheelchair. He looked around the small showroom, but he didn’t see any diapers. “Excuse me,” he said to the sales woman, “Do you sell incontinence products?” “Of course,” she said, “Just let me take care of these people, and I’ll be able to help you.” The middle aged woman gave him a bit of a dirty look. Matt went and stood next to the counter and saw a little girl playing in the corner of the store in a children’s area. She looked to be about 2 or three. She looked up from her toys, a bit surprised, and stared at Matt, who smiled weekly. Then she went back to playing with her toys. The woman spent about five minutes helping the other customers, while Matt stood at the counter mortified, starting to feel his wet jeans cling to his legs, and starting to smell like urine. Occasionally, the little girl would look up at him curiously, then go back to playing. Finally, the saleswoman stopped talking to the customers, who were still looking at one of the chairs, and came over. “Now, young man,” she said, “How can I help you.” “Well… umm… I ah…,” stammered Matt. “Yes, yes, I see, you’re had a little accident,” she said rather matter of factly. “Yes, umm, well, I was on my way to buy some more… umm…” “What’s your name?” “Matt.” “Well Matt, we shall…” Just then, the little girl stood up and walked over towards them. She was much bigger than Matt had thought just from looking at her across the room. Her blonde hair was in pigtails and she was dressed in a very babyish pink romper, but she was almost as tall as Matt. “Mommie…” she whispered to the lady, “Mommie…” “Yes, Rose, what is it?” the woman asked. “Momme, I need my didee changed.” “Very well,” she said, “we were just going back there any way. Come along, both of you.” They walked behind the counter and through white wooden door marked “Employees only.” The back of the store was surprisingly big, and they walked back around a corner into a huge children’s playroom/nursery. Matt’s eyes got huge as they walked in. All of the furniture and toys were adult sized! The little girl was an adult baby! “Now,” the woman said to Matt, “I can take care of your clothes for you, and we’ll get you into something more… absorbent. Lie down here.” The woman patted the nursery print pad of an adult changing table. “Well, that’s not really necessary,” Matt said, “If you can just get me something… umm…” “Nonsense! Now, come on then, up!” “Mommie,” the girl said urgently, “I NEED MY DIDEE CHANGED!” “Hold on a moment sweetheart and go play, guests first.” Matt reluctantly lay down on the big changing table, while Rose went and sulked and played with some blocks nearby. Matt tried to move, but felt himself being strapped in. “Now then, dear, hold still,” the woman said, and when Matt tried to protest she just shushed him. “Just hold up your shirt, honey,” she said. First, she undid his belt and unbuttoned his pants. She lifted his butt and slid them off expertly. “Now, hold up your hands and sit up a bit,” and as Matt did as he was told, she pulled off his shirt. There he lay, totally naked in front of a strange lady and a girl who was probably close to his age but looked like she was three. “My, my,” she said, “you certainly are a wet boy!” and she opened the tapes on his diaper and gently cleaned his tummy and peepee, and then suddenly lifted up his legs with one hand, exposing his butt and wiping it clean, and then lay a thick new diaper under him. She put him down gently, put on some diaper rash cream and talc, and fastened the new diaper far tighter than he could have done on his own. “Well,” the woman said as she unstrapped him, “I think I just might have something for you to wear.” Matt sat up as she rummaged through a dresser drawer underneath him. “Ah, here we are,” and she pulled out a blue onzie just Matt’s size. “Lift your arms up,” she said, and put it over his head, then told him to lie down as she lifted his butt again and snapped the crotch closed. “Go ahead and play here,” she said, “but don’t leave this room. Oh, and Matty, go wash your hands over there.” “Thank you ma’am, but I don’t think it’s really necessary for me to… I mean I think I’m a little too big to…” “But nothing, young man. Now run along and wash your hands while I change Rose. And you may call me ‘Mommie’, if you wish.” Matt was too bewildered and excited to argue. This was like a dream come true, and yet, some part of him wanted to fight it. He went and washed his hands, and could see her going through the same procedure with Rose, except she was putting her in a print cloth diaper and plastic pants. He was fascinated, and didn’t really even notice which toys he was playing with. Finally, Mommie was finished with Rose. “Now I’m going to go throw Matt’s clothes in the washer, then I’m going to help those customers, and then I’m going to do some work around the store. I’ll be back in a little while to check on you, so play nicely and don’t leave the playroom until I come back. Comments? Questions? Concerns? Send me a message!

So I'm obviously new to the board, and just wanted to say hi! Below, I've written a little (well, I guess it's pretty long, actually) about my first experiences in diapers-- hope that it doesn't bore you, you don't have to read it. I hope to meet alot of you soon! I remember one morning when I was about 3 or 4, my mom called me into the spare room in our house. She was cleaning some stuff out of the closet. Some of it was old toys, and she asked me which ones I wanted to keep. I looked through and chose a couple that I wanted to keep. My mom found a bag of old diapers. She asked me if I wanted to wear the last one. I remember feeling my face get all red, and being really embarassed, but saying yes. I had had a bit of a turmultuous toliet training, which I don't remember at all, but I'd been going like a "big boy" since I was about one and a half. My mom lay me down on the bed, and pulled off my pants. I remember feeling so happy when she taped the diaper on me nice and tight, and the smell of the talc powder she used. I don't really remember much else, but somehow I ended up at the babysitter's for the day still wearing the diaper. Right before naptime, she had us go to the bathroom to pee. I remember needing to go and forgetting I had on the diaper. I stood in from of the toliet with my pants down, and I tried to figure out how to get the diaper off, but I couldn't. I stood there and ran my hands over the plastic, and I think I got a bit of an errection. I'm not entirely sure, but I remember not being able to pee. Later in the day, I had lunch with my mom, one of her friends, and her friends kids at A&W (weird that I remember the resteraunt, isn't it?). I remember sitting there and having to pee worse and worse, and not wanting to say anything. My mom was engaged with her friend and I had to get her attention. When she asked me what was wrong, I whispered in her ear that I had to pee and had the diaper on. I guess she'd forgotten, but said something quietly to the other lady, and then we went home. I remember her taking it off, and running to pee, and wishing that she would put it back on. I have been facinated with diapers ever since, but didn't wear them until much later. My mom offered them to me once after she found me always playing with the packages in the grocery store/babysitter's house because I liked the feel of them so much, but I was a bit older and was too embarassed to say yes. I didn't wear diapers again until I was about twelve. I got the burning desire for them, and I couldn't stop thinking about them. There was a girl in my sixth grade class who wet her pants off and on and sucked her thumb. I got to sit next to her. I remember the first time she wet her pants in class her face got all red and then I heard the sound of water and I looked over to she a big wet spot appearing on her pants. It happened a couple of times, and then suddenly I noticed that she crinkled when she walked. I knew she was in diapers, but I didn't really say anything. The rest of the kid were already making fun of her, and in sixth grade you're pretty attunded to those things, so they figured it out pretty quickly and were pretty horrible to her. She cried alot because of it, but I secretly wished I was brave enough to wet my pants in school. Around that time, I broke into my parents' internet account, and started to read adult baby stories online. It was great, but I just couldn't get the thought of wearing diapers out of my head. Between sixth and seventh grade, I took some from a friend's house. He had a baby brother, and they fit ok. I'm pretty sure his mom was on to me because she left a whole half open bag in the bathroom as soon as the boy was potty trained, and I put most of them down my pants. I also found some cloth diapers my parents used as rags and tried to make a diaper with them and a garbage bag. It was a disaster and my parents (sort of) caught me, but they didn't say much. I was also flushing the used diapers down the toliet, and that was kind of a mess. Luckily (or maybe unluckily), nothing too embarassing happened. Occassionally, I started to take diapers from other friends' houses or gas stations. I found about Goodnites on the internet right before the seventh grade school year started. I started to steal them from a local grocery store. I would take them into the employees' bathroom and stuff them in my pants. It worked for a while, but then I started to get careless and open the packages right there in the asile. I almost got caught once, and then stupidly went back about a month later and tried to do the same thing again and was arrested for shoplifting. I ran from the cops (bad plan) and had Goodnites flying out from under my shorts into the street in front of the neighbors during the chase. They also broke a neighbor's fence with the police car. All it all, it was pretty exciting, and my parents were furious. They really didn't know what to do, but I told them that I was embarassed and had wet the bed, and they didn't really punish me, which made me feel much worse about the situation. Even at the time, I hoped that they would ground me or spank me or something, and that afterwards they would still love me. I had to work off my debt doing chores and they gave me a bigger allowance so I didn't have to steal diapers (of course, they didn't say that), but the whole experience really made me feel even more ashamed about wanting to wear diapers. My first experience with an adult diaper was during the fall of my sixth grade year. My grandparents had both been sick, but I stayed with them one weekend while my parents went out of town. I was snooping around the basement and found a 12 pack of attends. I wore one to bed without anyone knowing, and even though it was huge on my, it was the best thing to ever happen to me. I wore them a few more times when I visited them, and I'm sure that they knew because I left them in the trash in the basement, but they never said anything about it, which was great. After I started buying diapers, I would keep them under my bed. I would use a bunch of them and not have a way to throw them away without my parents knowing. I kept them in a bag under my bed, which smelled pretty bad. We had a cleaning service that came twice a week, and eventually one of them found the diapers under my bed, and left the bag open on my bed. My mom had been home earlier, but she either wasn't concerned or didn't notice because she didn't say anything about it. Another time, my dad searched my room because of the smell, but I'd purged earlier that day so he didn't actually find anything, although I'm sure he knew what he was looking for. I kept buy diapers all through high school and college, and wore them ocassionally even when I had a roommate. I even got to wear them without being too embarassed after I got into a couple of bad car accidents-- they have just made my weak bladder even weaker, which I don't mind too much. If I'm going to be away from a toliet for a long time, I definately have to wear something more absorbant! They make me feel safe and comfortable. Anyway, that was extremely long, but I'm really excited to finally be on the DD forums! Baby Mike