Your Wet Friend

I would certainly wear some protection if there were the possibility of soiling myself with little to no warming. I think there are disposable products just for that problem that might save you some money over an entire disposable diaper. I cannot imagine being at work or school and trying to recover from such an incident were suitable protection not being in place. Peace, Bob

Hi Freta, That is very kind of you. That camera bag gig sort of came out of necessity. Photography is a hobby, and when I did need to use the restroom I could hardly leave a bag full of gear outside the restroom. If a friend was there, that would have been different. But when I'm by myself with my camera stuff there's no option other than going all the way to the car to lock it up, then return to retrieve it which is a pain. And at some events you cannot go in and out at will. So ... why not put diaper supplies in what is an obvious camera bag even when I don't have a camera with me? And the camera bag I do use is large enough to hold a couple of disposable diapers as well as the other gear. I shove them in the slot that is designed for a notebook computer, something I don't take with me in my photo bag. Thanks! Bob

It sounds like you're on the right track. Just to be clear, I never intended to suggest that document posted on the university's website would be anything close to a complete program. Maybe just sort of a confirmation that some of the stuff we are doing is exactly the opposite of what those trying to overcome incontinence are doing. The last thing we want to do is to be accidentally doing something to promote bladder control! Bob Me neither. I just sort of considered it as a reference sheet of some things that can promote bladder control. Things we might want to avoid. As far as it being the outline for a complete plan to become a bedwetter or incontinent, it was never my intention to suggest it as such. I'm certainly following a procedure that is far more specific and tailored to really becoming a bedwetter with pants-wetting during the day a real possibility were I foolish enough to go out un-diapered. Bob

I clipped part of your post because you really nailed it on at least one point. "Prehydrating also helps. Drink enough water over 1-2 hours to get your pee clear..." So I understand, urine output is influenced by intake over a day or two. That makes sense, but what it implies is that the idea of drinking less fluids during the day, then guzzling water or iced-tea down in huge amounts right before bed is a bad idea. You're more likely to get a stomachache than any permanent change in bedwetting experiences. The idea is to make the whole bedwetting thing routine. So those activities that promote it become routine. I'm far from an expert on the topic, but somehow the body/brain figures out when to signal the urge to pee as well as how/when to respond to that. We're trying to change all of that. That's very doable. It's just finding the path to accomplish that, and staying on that path that can be a project. No, I'm single. And all I can say is that your marriage, and harmony within it, is infinitely more valuable than anything abdl related, including bedwetting. Congratulations on a successful marriage. There are clearly people who are jealous of you. Bob

Hi WBxx, As it turns out, due to some of the meds I take, alcohol is out of bounds for me. So I cannot try your solution. On to another subject, something odd is going on with my "coached" training. I'm barely four weeks in and there seems to be some confusion between my brain and my bladder. I can wake up at night and a wet a diaper with no problems, quickly going back to sleep even if there are some leaks. Sometimes I get up in the morning and feel a need to pee, but nothing happens and the urge goes away only to come back strongly an hour or so ago at which I do wet my diaper. So I don't know if my bladder was fooling my brain into thinking there was pee in it when there was not? Or if my brain thought I would need to pee on getting up as was a habit, but nothing was there, having been released overnight? In other words, I'm guessing that my bladder and brain are getting their wires crossed a bit. What I'm doing may be messing with both of them. The reason I mention this is because this is all very new to me. Waking up in the middle of the night and peeing is new. Rolling over and going back to sleep is new. Having periodic urges to go while being unable to do so is weird and new. And being able to wet easily lying down, sitting, and standing is new. Whether I wet myself last night in my sleep after the time I wet myself when I work up in the middle of the night I cannot say. I was soaked when I got up mid-morning. And I do go to bed very heavily padded. Something in me doubts that I had a bedwetting incident asleep last night, but I cannot rule out the possibility. Earlier in the evening, around 8:00 pm to 9:00 pm, I wet myself three times while sitting in my recliner playing with the computer. That's never happened before. It seems like a slow flow rather than a gusher. Strange things are happening here. And there's the update on a very perplexing Saturday afternoon. Have a fun Saturday night! Bob

Hi, I know what you mean. It's easy to just make a slit at the top / inside of an adult diaper and scoop a bit of extra SAP in there. I've had the same experience you have had: The thing swells up in the front to the point where it gets sort of noticeable. It behaves more like a real Pampers which if completely soaked, swells up so much that it almost takes on the shape of a large sports bottle. As a guy, I don't care about the SAP in the back. In fact, that gets sort of frustrating in that the front and crotch are soaked and the back is dry. What a waste. So shoveling a bit of SAP into the front is quick and it does cause the thing to swell up considerably as it retains more wetness. Call it a personalized product improvement program. The SAP I used is marketed "as diaper SAP," so I presume it is safe and non-irritating. But that's up to anyone who tries this to check it out. That said, this is not to disparage those who have found boosters to work. Whatever gets it done for you! Have fun, Bob

I have one pair of he heaviest choice from Wearever in white. And I bought them just for going to the doctor -- funny you should mention that. Have yet to try them out, but my guess is you'd best be standing up when you wet them unless your voids are very small. Anyway, Wearever claims 20 ounces and that would be remarkable for a product of this design. I've even seen one such pair of men's briefs from another company advertised as "super" and which then claims it holds 3 ounces.... For my normal, everyday use, or overnight use, I think these would result in massive leaks. For special occasions and brief periods of time, might have their place. We shall see. Bob

Congratulations, Ferix! It looks like you are about to be rewarded for your persistence by graduating with honors from UN-potty-training school. I will confess that I'm a bit jealous. It seems like a bunch of us here are in a race to achieve some form of incontinence. It will never be an Olympic event, but it takes dedication and persistence. As well as what a lot of us are short on -- patience. While I am following a customized coaching program as discussed elsewhere on this site and on my blog shown below, I ran across this one page document on the University of Washingon's website. It's a set of instructions for bladder retraining to reduce incontinence. It claims results within two to three months. It occurs to me to wonder what would happen if the appropriate parts of that were run in reverse? I think I posted that link somewhere else, but it might be worth a look. http://www.uwmedicine.org/services/urogynecology/Documents/BladderRetraining.pdf Bob

Here's an interesting and encouraging link. It is a plan from the University of Washington on increasing bladder capacity to help reduce urinary incontinence. Note especially that it says that some "improvement" should be seen in two to three months. So, what happens if you run part of it backwards? It's not the same as what my Start Bedwetting coach is having me do as he customizes things based on how I'm progressing. Yet, there are some similarities. Not the least of which is taking a program that works for stopping bedwetting or incontinence, and running it in reverse. But then this link is about urinary incontinence in general, not just bedwetting. http://www.uwmedicine.org/services/gynecology/documents/Patient Ed Handouts/Bladder-Retraining-New.pdf

I've highlighted the comment in your post with which I can most identify. If only that stupid sphincter -- internal, external, or both -- would just go away and quit bothering me, it would be a huge help. As it is, sphincters are a problem and are in serious need of retraining and getting with the program. Accelerating that is desirable, but not too easy so I gather from other comments. Is it a training of the sphincters themselves that needs to be done? Or is it the brain that needs to start sending different signals? Or do we want to confuse both of them so things get unpredictable -- which is just one goal on the way to success. Bob

We are a dedicated bunch. And innovative, too. I have considered buying the largest Pampers available then cutting them in half and dumping the contents into a plastic container. I could then slit the top of my adult disposable at the top/front, and stuff as much of the Pampers insides into the front of the adult diaper (where guys often need all the help they can get). You can fold the top of the backing of your disposable over and tuck it in next to your waste, thereby avoiding the need to seal it back up. Just a thought, anyway. Then again, if the booster pads offer enough extra absorbency, that's probably the way to go. Bob

What's to be said? The level of information and expertise shared and the quality of discussion is darn good here. Some good anatomy lessons for sure. And to be a bit partial, I've been waiting patiently for Bettypooh to chime in. So I think this is working -- people are learning. How about that? This whole self-generated incontinence / bed-wetting may be a very important goal to some of us. But it's never worth doing anything dangerous. I persist because I love being able to ignore the need to use the bathroom for urinary purposes. I won't go in pubic restrooms -- simply cannot stand them -- and anyway I can stand in front of a urinal for what seems like forever and nothing happens. I walk out, and have to go at once. I'm not going to put up with that. So I've solved all those problems in one fell swoop by always wearing disposable diapers when out. The longer I'll be out, the more I'll "stuff" it to minimize changes, since those might imply another trip into a restroom. A dreadful thought if there ever were one -- at least for me. I have a spare camera bag that I use for diaper supplies when out. It says "Canon" on it, so it doesn't scream "diaper bag" if I were to need to take it in somewhere and change in a restroom. And who would leave their camera laying around unattended? So it should draw no attention nor betray that there is no photo gear in it, but just diapering supplies Rarely use it, and then only in the car. But it's there just in case. I do continue to look for ways to speed this process up, provided they are behavioral and safe. Hence my working with the coach to see what happens. It has been a very interesting experience. And there is some good thinking there. It typically does not take a year to train a bedwetter to become dry. Specific things can be tried. Therefore, by reversing that process, starting to wet the bed at least on an occasion should be able to be done in a few months or less. Perhaps not causing every night wetting, but enough so that one never knows if one is going to sleep wet or not. That's enough progress to encourage me to persist. Others will approach this differently. Anyway, all this excitement has caused me to log in and buy another case of Abena Premiums. Bob

None that I'm aware of. Although it is an intriguing idea, depending on her attitude toward it. Maybe I'd learn something? Bob

This site is hilarious. If more people knew how much fun all this is, the community would no doubt grow exponentially just as people wanted to be a part. (Okay, I got carried away again ... but only by a bit.) "Parking" is a new term for this act. I don't give "parking" much thought. Perhaps I should. Anyway, to be honest, with regard to erections, with some of the meds I'm on -- how does the joke go? I'm jealous of a stiff breeze. Bob

There's a whole lot of good stuff said there. Bob I working on needing them for bedwetting. I might get incontinence as a ... well ... a bonus??? Bob

Terrific! Want to suggest a brand? Some seem like they are all just fluff. I'm sort of convinced it's the SAP that makes the difference? I'm sure we've all seen a Pampers we used as a stuffer when it's at capacity -- swells up so much the thing almost starts to resemble a cylinder. I've kind of had fun with the extra SAP in the front of an Abena. Some goes to the crotch area which is fine as well. The thing does get pretty huge when fully wet, even with about four teaspoons of SAP added. Then there is the problem guys can have, especially if peeing while seated -- the front gets saturated while the bottom/back stays dry. Bob So Northshore boosters are the best? Put inside what disposable diaper? Thanks, Bob

The mattress is inside a zip-up vinyl cover all the way around. Then a waterproof mattress pad that pulls over the whole thing. The a regular sheet. And since I do leak at times and want avoid the hassle of stripping down the bed when I do, I lay on a 34" x 36" waterproof mattress pad. Sort of carried away there, I guess. But it works for me. Bob

I think this was incredibly well written -- the whole thing took a lot of thought. And I, for one, appreciate it to no end. Thank you! I've only quoted the last paragraph since it speaks directly to what some are trying to do here. To be redundant, if you are truly incontinent, you cannot control you bladder. If you are truly incontinent, you cannot decide not to be incontinent "just this once" because it might be inconvenient or because you might leak. Hence, if you are serious about this, you will behave the same as one who already is incontinent. And will deal with the same results including leaks and inconvenient changes. And incontinent person simply has no choice. So a "trainee" must mirror those conditions. Hence, proper preparation, especially when not at home is essential. In other words, I don't think incontinence is something you can turn off and on. While there are different types, and some have less control than others, you are either incontinent or you are kidding yourself. This takes time, and there are milestones that will be achieved. That said, the desire to speed the process up safely is strong. And perhaps there are some additional safe behaviors that will accelerate one's achieving daytime incontinence or bedwetting. It's doesn't hurt to look. In the meantime, keep yourself well stocked with disposables. Or cloth if you're into that in the evening at home and at nighttime as this writer is. Peace, Bob

So we’re on the same page here, pretty much. I’m guessing the “Holy Grail” would be a method of speeding things up without doing anything medically dangerous. Or, at least a way of seeing at least some progress before, say, three months go by. It could be out there. So it’s not like you have great control one week, and are incontinent the next. Which brings up the question: How long did it take you from start to the point where you would experience enough of a change to make you concerned about going out undiapered? That would seem like a tipping point when you knew what you’re doing is working. I’m almost four weeks into 24/7 and a couple of other approaches. Since it’s been close to a month since I’ve made any effort at control, I’m wondering how reliable my control is I don’t want to try to find out since I don’t want to impede progress Thanks, Bob

Which goes to show that a behavioral approach works. Sort of like if you never use certain muscles, they weaken. So, just ignoring urges is part of the answer. But that means really ignoring them. No holding back at all. You wear a diaper and depend on it. You don't ever think "Well, I really could stop this if I had to." And you behave as though you truly had zero control. My guess is that is what really speeds things up -- if I understand what you are saying. Bob Three and a half weeks in. Daytime frequency is up noticeably. I think he volume is lower each time than it used to be. And the stream is sometimes weak --- just sort of slowly flows, and stops gradually. Still waking up dry in middle of night. Pretty easy to wet my diaper and go back to sleep.. Bob

Thanks, Steve, for the confidence-builder. And I'm sure it's one for more folks than just me! A couple of questions come to mind since it sound like you are speaking from experience, or otherwise with some real knowledge about this: Did you achieve some degree of urinary incontinence by always :"letting it flow as soon as you feel the slightest need?" Any mental training or particular thinking -- things you repeatedly told yourself -- to make it happen? Then the big question -- how long did it take? Best, Bob First, good luck to you! It will be a busy week. With regard to fluid intake, I'm kind of a screw up. Apparently for some time I did not drink enough, partially contributing to two instances of when I developed kidney stones. While there are meds that can be prescribed to reduce the chances of that happening again, drinking plenty of fluids supposedly flushes the kidneys more frequently, and this supposedly makes it tougher for kidney stones to form. I'd try to learn to sleep standing on my head to avoid those miserable things if that helped. With all deference to the ladies who have birthed children, kidney stones are supposedly more painful than childbirth, although I'm obviously not in the place to make such a comparison. In my case, the pain lasted a few days each time. The kidney stones laughed at the prescription pain killers. I understand (again, check with medical authorities to verify this), that by the time you feel really thirsty, you're already a bit dehydrated. One recommendation is to drink 1/2 ounce of fluids per day for each pound of body weight. I'm probably closer to 3/4 ounce per day. It should be spread out over the day, and not downed all at once. Hope that helps! Bob

Well, I have increased the fluid intake a bit. But part of the key seems to be not holding it, at least for long. Which means you head for the restroom at the slightest urge, or your wear diapers. Bob

You are right. A tear a the top of the "stay dry" liner on the inside / front. Shovel a few spoons of SAP in there. Then fold the outside backing sheet over and in as normal. Just a thought. It seems like it's the amount of SAP that really makes the best disposables what they are? I'm no engineer. If the booster pads are working for you great. I know some try to put a Pampers inside, but the snag is it shields part of the main adult diaper from getting wet unless you remove part of the waterproof backing of the Pampers. I don't have the patience for all that work. Bob

Hi, I know for some of us, the holy grail of a disposable diaper is cute prints. Then there are those who are more interested in a disposable's capacity. After all, the more it will absorb, the less the likelihood of leaks. And the longer you can wear the thing without needing a change from too much wetting. We know it's the super-absorbent polymer (SAP) that soaks up the pee and locks it into a gel. Probably why Pampers can seeming absorb huge amounts for their sizes. SAP is a relatively standard product can be purchased online. It's not that expensive depending on where you buy it. Amazon even has it, although there are other businesses that sell the stuff in various crystal sizes and quantities. You want the really fine crystals. Some people use them to make the cloth "cool bandanas" you hold under the faucet and then put around your neck to stay cool in the summer. You can also pull the plastic backing away from the stay-dry layer at the top of a disposable diaper exposing the fluff and SAP that is in there. What about putting a couple more teaspoons of SAP in the front to boost absorbency? Assuming it's the same product already in the disposable, it should be safe for the skin. Then just fold the top part of the plastic backing over and your capacity just went up. Having said that, someone will probably get carried away and put so much SAP in their diaper that it will be able to hold a gallon or more and it will look like they have a basketball in the front of their jeans when it hits capacity. Just a thought... Bob My blog under development: http://ourbedwettingfun.com/

He has chosen to add that 24/7 because of my eagerness. You know, I'm an American so I want everything at once without waiting... Pants-wetting can be added. I don't know if it becomes permanent unless that's specifically the goal. I don't care too much since I'm focused on my primary goal. What I asked is whether there is anything else I can do to accelerate the descent into uncontrolled bed-wetting -- and maybe to increase my chances of successful "graduation." So the 24/7 is the extra component I'm following at coach's recommendation. 24/7 is not a mandatory part of the program. I just suggested that I would be willing to do that if it might push things along a bit. So he suggested that it likely would. I have no objection to 24/7, so in the interest of seeing some results maybe sooner, I've been doing that for almost a month. It's really not a big deal for me. With the right disposable diapers and some plastic bloomers, what's the hassle? None for me. I prefer vinyl bloomers so if there is a leak, it looks like it's at the knees of my pants. So, it doesn't look like a leaking diaper. I'm pretty adept at changing in the car in a vacant part of a parking lot if I had to. I have a spare camera bag with all the ingredients for a successful disposable diaper change and a hygienic disposal of the wet one if needed. I have not had to do that yet. This is all, of course, a very unorthodox activity. Nothing wrong with it. Harmless. But sort of weird. And fun. So not a lot of in-depth research out there on how to take an adult and turn them into a real bed-wetter. Like I said, this gets kind of customized, so you might just want to ask him questions yourself via his website. Hope that helps! I didn't realize I was going to get this much traffic, but that's fine. I have no problem answering questions. In fact I enjoy the interaction a whole bunch! Bob