TomBoyAB

This story is SO COOL! I can relate to it a lot myself^^ Every now and then, the world is too much and I no longer want to be in charge (at least for a little while). Can't wait for more!

Well, I've been LOVING the story so far. I've just never known how to put into words how much i like bbykimmy's work ^////^ But just for the record, this story AMAZING!:D I didn't expect for the escape to happen AT ALL! Let alone it going that smoothly! Quite the cliffhanger indeed! X3

Thanks again guys! I really appreciate each and every one of you taking time out of your day to help me out! I actually have my appointment with my psychiatrist later today. To make sure he knows as much as possible, I think I may copy and paste my original post (edit it a little, just in case any ABDL related things are in it that I didn't catch) on a blank document on my phone to show him. Again, I really appreciate all of your time! Have a great one guys!:3 You ROCK! :3

Thanks for the help , ELLIE52! I really appreciate you taking the time to post some good advice!:3 I'll talk to my psychiatrist about it at my next appointment. I may even call around for a therapist (seeing as my insurance SHOULD cover it). I've just never been good with dealing with my actual emotions. I was raised as one of the boys and I swear I'm worse than any man trying to express myself. It gets difficult at times. My friends are happy to help (because they're AMAZING x3) but of course there's work, bills, significant others, basically just the rest of life in general. They can't physically be there for me 24/7 and I need to accept that. It kinda scares me to think that if I ever stop these medications, I could feel even worse than I do right now! But, I'll tell them anyway. It's better to just come out with it and see what options there are than to keep going on like this. So thanks again for the great advice and you taking the time out of your day to type it up!:3

Sorry. Kinda got caught up in all the venting. I just edited it. Does it look ok now?

Hey guys. It's TomBoyAB. I just wanted to get a few things off my chest. No-one in my house knows how to help or really feels like listening. I'm not really sure how to word all of this or order it in "order of importance". I'm just going to type what I'm feeling as I feel it. So here goes: So, let me start off by saying I've had major depression and anxiety for years. So that also means that my psychiatrists (I've had 2 or 3 for the past 10 years or so) have been switching my meds around. I've also been told that since I was about 12 that I have ADD. So, I was put on medication yo help me focus. I've been put on 2 or 3 medications in the past 10 years. The last ADHD medication I was put on was Adderal. Now, I was taken off of Adderal a few months ago (because according to my new psychiatrist, my nuropsych test results for my ADHD test were actually INCONCLUSIVE. Yep, they didn't even straight out give ANY INDICATION that I have ADHD...-_-) . And sweet Jesus. It SUCKS. Apparently, one of the side effects of Adderal is to help with anxiety/one's mood. So lately I've been RIDICULOUSLY on edge. I've been on the verge of tears over the smallest things (like just now. I felt my eyes start to burn just now because of a couple typos I just corrected.) I've been (just BARELY ) been able to hold back on the gigantic urge to yell at my family over stuff that didn't bother me as much before (still bothered me before, but now I'm about to go APE). Whenever I'm this agitated, it takes me awhile to calm down. Depending on how upset I become, I've even had violent tantrums. Like just the other night, I was so irritated that I literally just started tossing and turning and growling and snarling in my bed! A couple of tears made it down my cheeks and I went numb for the rest of the night. I've been talking to myself lately too. I'll wake up in the morning and already have an argument at the ready over something that's already over! I just walk out of my room in the morning and I don't want to interact with any other human being. Friend, Family, or stranger. It doesn't matter. I don't want to be bothered by anyone with anything. I've fallen back on my bad habit of emotional eating to help me cope. So now my weight has gone up (and of course having type ii diabetes and fatty liver disease isn't gonna help). I feel like I'm always on the verge of hitting someone. It's gotten to the point where it's affecting my performance at work and I've already failed one of my college classes and have to take it again in the Fall. My family swears that I'm being dramatic and that my problems pale in comparison to their own. I'm just so sick and tired of all of this. All I want to do is eat and sleep. I'm not NEARLY financially stable enough to move out. And even if I was, I have God awful driver's anxiety. I don't drive (at the moment) and don't own a car. I have an AWESOME older brother that has said that if I can pay my way, I'm more than welcome to move in with him. But it'll take a good while for me to save up enough to pay my way. And then of course that's after I get my license and a car! Everything just feels so out of reach and hopeless. I can't do this for much longer. I feel like any day now, I'll have this big breakdown and it isn't going to be pretty. I'm not one to ask for help very often (in fact, just these 3 posts under the depression support forum I've put up since I joined on DD 4 MONTHS AGO feel foreign to me) but if anyone can help at all. Just some advice or a shoulder to cry on would be AMAZING. Thanks for reading and have a good one guys!

Thank you both for the great advice! I can definitely see both of your points of view: WannaTripbaby: I have DEFINITELY felt these emotions myself before. And I wish I could convey that to her somehow. But last time I tried to tell her I understood how she felt, she got pretty upset. My friend has always thought rationally, along with SOME emotion. But now it would seem she is mentally running off of pure emotions when it comes to her thought process. As Bettypooh said in her post, it's gonna take some time for her to get used to incorporating her emotions into her life overall. I mean, just last week, she cried on my shoulder for like 30 minutes.(well, crying for a few minutes and wouldn't move from my shoulder for about 30 minutes in total). But she said that she hadn't cried like that in years and it was cathartic for her.So this will take some getting used to for the BOTH of us. Bettypooh: I appreciate your input. Hearing it from someone that has actually been through this process DEFINITELY sheds some light on the situation. However, I do NOT BELIEVE she has been put on HRT as of yet. She has found an endocrinologist and a therapist/specialist that was supposed to discuss her feelings and the situation overall. And after her appointment with the specialist, she said (and I quote): "Yep. I was diagnosed with GIRL" X3 And I'm glad she's at least happy about that :3 But she also seems to be trying too hard. Like when she laughs, you can tell she's holding back. She used to have a laugh that was LOUD, but genuine. Nowadays, it's this girly giggle that you can tell she's forcing it to sound like. All I can think when I hear that is that back when I wasn't comfortable with who I was (personality wise, that is), I made my voice sound like her new laugh does: Higher pitched, more feminine and over all forced. I can understand wanting to change yourself, but it just seems she is COMPLETELY UNSATISFIED with any and all progress she is making so far. It's like, if she hears her male/deeper voice even once, she goes back to square 1 emotionally. I hate seeing her go through this and not being able to help her...Whenever I feel determined to help her feel better, I get cautious. Whenever I try to help with her emotional matters, I feel like I'm walking on thin ice that is littered with eggshells :/ . It's not her fault though. Ironically enough, as someone who was born as )and is comfortable with remaining) a girl, one would think that I'd be better at helping with the whole emotional aspect of this process. But I was raised as one of the boys. I'm not so good at this...:/ Not yet, anyway.

This was AWESOME!:D I had a feeling I'd like this story^^ Thanks for reposting it for us to enjoy :3

Warning: Full on bitch rant is about to begin! Any and All advice would be appreciated! But please do NOT feel obligated to respond! Hey guys, it's TomBoyAB here. I just wanted to get this out of my system somehow. As stated in the title, I'm more frustrated than depressed. I just needed to vent and no one that's physically near me would know how help. Sorry if I'm posting it in the wrong place, but I just don't know where else to put it because I did not see a forum just for venting. So , without further ado, here goes: Let me start by saying that the PERSON I'm about to complain about is family to me. We've been through thick and thin and I'm not about to end a friendship over something as silly as my ignorance or frustration. My best friend that I've known for almost 8 years now has come out as being Transgendered and is currently in the process of transitioning (M to F). I love her all the same, but she is having a HELL of a time dealing with it. She is going through what she says is "gender dysphoria" (I'm honestly not sure what this term means,even after she has tried to explain it to me more than once ). Her family doesn't understand and are confused as well. They seem like they are on her side 1 minute, but the next minute, they seem against her. Now every time I see her and we hang out, all I hear is negativity. Every other sentence is an insult to herself and if I try to butt in with something along the lines of "that's not true", she just nods and goes on to her next insult for herself. I hate to say it, but it's almost as if she is blatantly fishing for compliments at this point. She keeps saying that I don't understand what she's going through because I'm comfortable with the sex I was assigned with at birth and she is right. I HAVE NO CLUE what she must be going through. And I'm not trying to lead anyone on thinking that I do! I'll be the first to admit that I'm COMPLETELY CLUELESS on how nerve wracking this must be for her. It just gets so frustrating when all you want to do in order to escape the drama and bs going on in what is SUPPOSED to be your own home, you go out with a friend and it never fails that you have another emotionally exhausting situation to deal with.Because of my own anxiety and depression issues, I think what is happening here is we are 2 emotionally exhausted individuals trying to lend each other emotional support. And it's obviously not working very well. I'm not about to leave a friend in their time of need, but I'm just about at my wits end at this point. I can't just walk up to her and say " stop bitching, it's not that bad". Because frankly I have no right to. Needless to say, it's also INCREDIBLY INSENSITIVE! Ok, I think I'm done... Sorry about all that! Again, any and all advice would be appreciated but please don't feel obligated! Have a great one, guys! :3

Hey WakkoWannaBe, I'm sorry I didn't respond to your post earlier! I didn't see the notification in my email until about 5 minutes ago! XD Thank you for taking the time to type that post! It's really sweet of everyone/anyone to take time out of their day and give me advice when every one has their own things to deal with. I may have to try a Meditation app! That does sound like a good idea. I have an app that helps me relax that my friend showed me. Its called Relaxio. It plays soothing background noises like the ocean, a fan, crickets chirping in the night, etc. It really helps me calm down, but Meditation may help too! And I've actually been in and out of therapy since I was 5, it wasn't "bad" at first (by "bad", I just mean I would prefer a more "emotionally intimate" relationship {you know, confiding in a friend, family member, or even possibly finding a girlfriend that would be willing to hear me out}). I've gotten this idea in my head lately that all of MY experience with therapy (not necessarily anyone else's) have basically been me showing up, crying my eyes out for an hour or so, and me leaving feeling somewhat emotionally relieved for a little while afterwards, and then the cycle just repeats itself. I feel like that I've actually gotten A LOT more out of just being here on DD, really:3. Because here, I can talk freely about the biggest one of my coping mechanisms. I can't risk telling the "Run of the Mill, By the Book" therapist about me wanting to wear diapers and suckle on a pacifier and expect them to NOT "bring me to a professional" (even though we AREN'T HURTING ANYONE -_-)

Awesome! Thanks again and same here! Let me know if you need an ear or shoulder too! I'm not the kind of person to leave a friend hanging!:3

That's so SWEET! Thanks so much! This really means the world to me!:,) See , this is the PERFECT EXAMPLE of why I'm so incredibly happy that I gave this site a chance! Thanks again!

I can DEFINITELY relate to that. My dad was really the one that worked his ass off to provide for us. The family I actually lived with started out as your classic 4 member family:Mom, Dad, Daughter (Me :3), and Son (My Older Brother). My mother was still in her "Partying phase" when I was little, so she wasn't around as much as our father was in my and my older brother's younger days. My parents got divorced when I was 3, but my mother didn't move out until I was 8 for financial reasons. When she moved out, I was basically raised (for the remainder of my childhood) by my Dad. Of course, my mother moving out before puberty hit and me not seeing her but MAYBE ONCE A MONTH afterwards, didn't exactly make the teenage years easy either:/ Lets just say.... Middle school was NOT FUN! XD.But I can also relate to parents not being around, just for different reasons. Mom was partying, Dad was ...keeping us alive...<3 Don't get me wrong, my mom is genuinely a good person and she regrets not being there for me and my brother. I live with her and my stepdad now.

Hey Wannatripbaby, I REALLY appreciate you reaching out to me! Especially this FAST! :3 I honestly believe that I would benefit from getting a therapist of some kind, but I don't know. You see, I'm not feeling like this 24/7 (Thank Goodness!) but when I do feel like this, it can be pretty hard:/ I was raised with parents that DID LOVE ME, but didn't really give me any of the mushy, cuddly kind of love that kids need growing up. The best example I can give anyone to try to comprehend is something like this: Back when I was 4 or 5 and my friends and I would be playing at the park. We would be running and playing, when one of my friends falls down and scrapes their knee or elbow. Now being so young and it causing physical pain, the first reaction is to cry and yell for your parents. When my friends did that after they fell and got hurt, their mothers would be running like crazy, cooing and coddling them, putting a bandaid on their scratches and "kissing their boo- boos better". After another hug and kiss, we'd get back to playing. When I fell and got hurt as a kid, before my lip barely even started trembling, my mother would be walking up to me saying "don't you start cry. You're okay. Walk it off." while grabbing me by the arm and picking me up off the ground. After I stopped crying to the point where you at least couldn't hear me, she'd walk away. And I love my dad, but he basically just had the same parenting method as my mother, just "less intense". He wasn't really the affectionate or hugging type:/

Hey guys! Its TomBoyAB. I just wanted to vent for a few minutes. If you have any advice for me, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT! Anything could help at this point. I seem to be having a difficult time with handling the more stressful parts of my life at the moment. Due to having Severe Depression and Anxiety (I actually have been diagnosed with BOTH -_-), it just seems I can't escape. I live with family that just either don't understand ( the only members I've told about my AB side SWEAR its 'just a fetish'....Uggghhh....X( ), or choose to be "rationally ignorant". Whenever I try to talk to my mom about my emotions, she just thinks I'm "being dramatic", so after a couple years of trying, I just gave up.Since I've started up with my college classes again, it just remains difficult. I've noticed that the busier I am, the happier I am. That, and I wouldn't last a week in the business field (at least in this day and age) without a college degree. So I try to get out of the house as much as possible, but since I have such a severe anxiety about driving, it's much harder for me to just up and leave if things get too stressful. Its recently gotten to the point where I don't really look forward to coming "home" anymore....:/ I've tried my coping mechanism (going in to "Little Space") when everything else for the day has been taken care of and my door is shut and locked. But it just doesn't seem like enough to truly help as much as it used to. Its gotten to the point where my physical health is being affected. Well, I guess that's about it. Thanks to anyone who bothered reading this far! Any advice is much appreciated! Have a great one guys!

Hey AlluneedisLuvs, Yeah, I guess there is a story XD You see, I've always been a tomboy/had the "Big,Bad Kid" image around school like Helga (Olga's younger sister) and (I personally believe that) I didn't get the kind of mushy/coddling kind of love that kids need when growing up, also like Helga. I guess I subconsciously imagined myself in Helga's position whenever an episode with Olga came on because Olga seems to act more like a loving mother to Helga, rather than your "Run of the Mill" older sister. I always thought that Olga makes up for the lack of motherly love in Helga's everyday life. This show/character is the first one I can really remember having these kinds of feelings with a fictional character, which is why I put her on the list X3

Little Crusader- Gotcha! That makes sense:3 Yeah, I never really got acquainted with other deviants,so I kinda just stopped submitting the chapters for my story to any groups:/ I go on about once a day (on average), just to see new stuff, but I don't submit art there anymore. Thought of maybe getting a Fanfiction.net account or maybe even submitting my story here(?)^^

Hey David! Just wanted to take a second to welcome you to the community!:3 According to the timestamp on your post, it looks like we became members at around the same time (give or take an hour x3) and everybody has been nothing but friendly and accepting to me! So expect the same treatment and welcome to DailyDiapers!:3

Hey Little Crusader and NappyFairy:3, To Little Crusader, Yeah, you would think I would have gotten that from the "art" part of "Deviantart" XD But while I was browsing the site (before I became a member, that is) I would see some works of art that were AB/DL related and would go under the "comments" section just to see how others TRULY felt and /or would react about AB/DLs. I would sometimes see a full blown conversation between 2 or more artists about how awesome the artwork was and how they are AB/DL as well, etc. And I thought "wow, I want that" so I became a member and submitted a few chapters to a story I've been writing,and did NOT get much of the reaction I was looking for:/ So, I was more disappointed then "traumatized", per say. But yeah, still kinda silly x3 To NappyFairy, Thank you for welcoming me here too!:3 I've only been a member for about 17-18 HOURS and everybody has been nothing but friendly and accepting! Which is what I have been CRAVING ever since I realized I wasn't the ONLY human being on the planet that actually enjoyed partaking in these kind of things!x3. I can tell I made the right decision in giving this site a chance:3 I also wanted to take a moment to thank all 4 of you for taking time out of your day just make me feel welcome here! It feels AMAZING. every time I look at my phone and see that I have a new post or comment from a fellow AB/DL! X3 So thanks again for taking time out of your day to do so! Because trust me,it makes my day!:D

Hey AbabeBill! Thanks for welcoming me here as well! To answer your first question, I have been an AB ever since I actually became an adult (so about 4 years), but I've had an interest in babyish things ever since I was 4 or 5. To answer your second question, I believe that my AB side was born out of my desire to have a more love and comfort filled childhood. My childhood was good, don't get me wrong, but neither one of my parents really showed me any kind of mushy or affectionate love that children need. So, as I got older, that desire kinda grew along with me. So here I am now!

I wish I could have a nap during any time of the day ! I'm pretty sure I have sleep deprivation, because I have trouble sleeping, PERIOD!:/ So, no naps I'm afraid. Its INCREDIBLY frustrating, because I get cranky sometime in the afternoon if I was tossing and turning the whole night before:(

First of all, I can't believe I'm not the only one who thinks about this stuff ! X3 AWESOME! Sorry, now for the topic at hand: 1)Shizuru Fujino/ Viola (from Mai hime/ Mai Otome) 2) Olga Pataki (from Hey Arnold) 3) Nurse Joy (from Pokemon)

Thanks! I appreciate you taking the time to welcome me here:3

Hey Everybody, My name is TomBoyAB. I just signed up a little while ago. I decided to give this site a shot in order to reach out to the AB/DL community. I tried Deviantart, didn't really turn out how I hoped:/ So yeah! Just trying to connect with people like me and hopefully make some new friends!:D