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nappyboymids
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Posts posted by nappyboymids
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I find BetterDrys are an excellent high capacity medical nappy, available from ABU in the UK; also Drylife Super - more capacity than the Tenas but less than BetterDry, available from Nappies R Us or Incontinence Shop.
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On 10/21/2024 at 9:26 PM, Reddy said:
Yes, I will answer any questions about dealing with the consequences of wearing diapers.
So here's another question (feel free not to answer if you prefer not to though!) ... What are your views now on dating? It may be something you're not even considering at the moment but I was wondering how you'd approach that situation - when to tell someone about being in diapers, would you be upfront about the surgery and incontinence desires etc?
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11 hours ago, UsuallyDiapered said:
Thanks, @nappyboymids - I actually meant the overall diameter of the o ring, or the length when you cut it. I assume it would need to be a fairly large one if it's to be threaded through a couple of times?
Ah, sorry, I misunderstood. I would say the bigger the diameter the better; although most of the O ring will be redundant after it's been threaded through and consequently discareded, you need enough length for the actual threading to be possible (at least the distance from the eye of the needle to its point, and preferably a bit more). If there was such a thing as 'latex string' that would be better but O rings are easy to get and cheap.
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@UsuallyDiapered Thanks for the picture - your flanges look very like mine although we obviously executed them a different way; yours is placed in the same position as my inner one (and on the same type of cath). I *think* the diameter was 1mm - I'm not sure you could find a needle with a big enough eye to accommodate more than that. I don't know about allergic reactions - O rings are (I presume) made out of a latex similar to that used in catheters? But if it doesn't work for you then obviously that's something not to pursue. It hasn't caused me any problems but we're all different.
@Spargano It did need a lot of experimenting - over the years I've made at least 30 stents so there's certainly been a lot of trial and error (especially error). I honestly think that O rings are far less likely to scratch than aretrieval line - they're manufactured to be completely smooth and at 1 mm diameter they're are no sharp edges, whereas someone once compared a retrieval line to inserting a cheese wire - a bit counterintuitively, the thinner it is, the more likely it is to cause damage. Each to their own of course! Like you I got to where I am after a lot of experiments ...
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@UsuallyDiapered @Spargano There's a slight discomfort inserting the stent as the O rings enter but just as when cathing for the first few times felt uncomfortable, you soon desensitise to it and now there's no problem at all. Just like the bends there's some trial and error about getting the outermost O ring in the correct position. So much of the challenge with stents seems to be preventing inward migration - I temporarily lost my stents when I first started experimenting years ago (fortunately they found their way back out); the outer O ring sits just below the external sphincter (I assume) and stops that, while the inner ring functions like the balloon on a standard cath and prevents outwards migration - put the two together and you get something stable.
There's nothing preventing a retrieval line, of course, although I find them irritating (literally) and a 'give way' as something is obviously 'hanging out'. Or you can try a retrieval line until you're confident that the stent won't move unexpectedly (but you'll need something like my sugru 'bulb' at the end of the stent to give you something to grip on to when removing the stent.
As for installing the O rings, I 'sew' them in place - you need something like a tapestry needle with a big eye to thread the O ring through (cut so that it's like a piece of string). Sew it through the stent to create a figure of eight. (When going through the stent for the first time (straight through - in one side and out the opposite side), leave a small amount of the back end of the thread (about 1 cm) 'hanging out'; Create the first loop of the figure of eight shape by threading back through the stent at right angles to your original passage, and the second loop going through at the same angle as your original passage but in the opposite direction. Make both of the loops rather smaller than the final result you want. when you've gone through the final time, cut the front end of the thread off, leaving about 1 cm hanging out at this end too. Then very gently pull the hanging ends back towards their exit holes and through them so the ends are inside the stent - the loops will then be the correct size, and the tightness of the hole created by the needle will hold them in place.)
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I'm struck in the recent comments about how much the discussion has revolved around angles and how getting them in the wrong place can reduce the stent's effectiveness or just be really uncomfortable. The stent I use (there's a picture on p. 43 of this thread) doesn't have any moulding; it uses 'flanges' to secure it in place and I've found it completely reliable - no problems at all with migration in either direction. It also doesn't need a retrieval line. The flanges do make it a bit more challenging to insert (removal is easy) but practice makes perfect and after two or three times I could insert it and get it in place without any problem. So just thought I'd flag that there is an alternative to the 'angle' approach ...
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@Reddy @wetguy13579 I'm really glad you're happy with your decisions and hope you're both looking forward to lifelong incontinence and diaper-wearing. Like so many others, I've followed this thread from the beginning and been fascinated by all the twists and turns. Overall, for me, I think, like @cathdiap and @dlnoir, the stent route is probably the best for me, at least for now. If I had a long-term partner who was as fascinated with and excited about incontinence as me I'd seriously consider the surgical route so we could spend our lives in uncontrollably wet diapers - but for now, I'll read on. Good luck!
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Firstly, I don't think @Reddy is trolling - @BrownBobby met him when they both had surgery.
Secondly, although I hate trying to second-guess someone else's thoughts and put words in their mouths, my reading of Reddy's comments (although I do find them confusing in places) is that he's frustrated about feeling embarrassed about being in diapers in the locker room more than anything else. If he weren't embarrassed when he went to the gym pre-surgery, that self-consciousness and embarrassment now is probably doubly frustrating. I guess it's just something that needs working through. There are probably people in that gym - and every other - who don't like getting changed in front of others and feel embarrassed about being naked. They will have developed coping strategies for that, whether it's using a private cubicle, artistically draping a towel or just brazening it out. So perhaps this is about adjusting to a new situation; perhaps Reddy didn't anticipate that he'd feel this way. I note that this discussion has been about this particular situation - and not about, for example, being diapered at work, or around family, and changing when out and about ...
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So I've had mixed experiences with this whole night-time thing. Recently I've found with my stent in that it's certainly draining whilst I'm asleep; but I still wake up in the night with the need to pee. However, the amount is far less than it would be without the stent and in the morning my nappy is far wetter than would be accounted for by the amount I remember passing. So ... the stent must be doing something but not everything. I've got no words of wisdom as to why this happens but it's awesome to get to this point ...
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7 hours ago, dlnoir said:
For me the perfect length of the stent is 10 cm about 4”. I tried different measurements but it seems I always come back to this particular length. The one thing I do know for a fact if the stent is too long and the exit ends up in the urethra it causes a heck of a lot discomfort. So for me it is mandatory to make sure the end of the stent ends up in the bulbous.
I agree - it's (unfortunately) about trial and error until you find the perfect design for you. My stent (picture here: https://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?/topic/51022-my-experience-with-stents/&page=43#comment-2094923) is a variation on others; it's about 6" long - but also ends up in the bulbous so I guess my anatomy is a bit different from dlnoir's. I've always found retrieval lines uncomfortable (and, counterintuitively, the thinner they are the more problematic they are - when you use it for the actual retrieving for me it's like feeling a cheese wire inside me). I also didn't want there to be any visible indication of a stent outside my body, so the holy grail for me has always been a design in which nothing 'hangs out'. The 'flanges' on my stent secure it in the right place and I can keep it in for days or even weeks without it moving or any sense of irritation. I've never found it necessary to get curves in the right place or perfect any angles; I stiffen the stent where it passes through the sphincters in order to make inward migration harder (impossible) but it's not rigid. So keep experimenting - but be ready for set-backs; it took me a long time to get to where I am now ...
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On 7/22/2024 at 3:42 AM, Reddy said:
I'll be honest, I have had some times getting frustrated. That I am always in a wet diaper. And I can't do anything without diapers. Just throwing on a pair of shorts to be comfortable and relax, I can't do it. And I had a really bad blowout leak this week at work. I was just about to go meet someone in person and I changed my diaper first, but I had to hurry, and my pants were still soaked. I had to tie a jacket around my waist. It looked silly I think. And now, I'm wet just relaxing and I have to put a diaper on or else be uncomfortable. I don't regret it, but it has been frustrating sometimes.
Hey Reddy, thanks for your interesting update. I guess you're going through the period of adjustment that nearly everyone has to when they realise their level of incontinence means they need full-time protection. (But I hope you're not suffering from buyer's remorse ...) As regards leaks, they're always an occuptational hazard but practice makes (almost) perfect and I'm sure you'll get to the point where leaks are rare. Also good to see from another post that the people you've told about your new circumstances (even if not the reasons for them) have been supportive. To flip to the other side of the subject, are you seeing positives about your situation and enjoying knowing that you're now permanently in diapers?
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Cumming with a stent in feels identical (to me) to cumming with a cath. Although it's very intense, it's not a sensation I enjoy as much as cumming 'normally'. You don't 'shoot' with a stent. So I have mixed feelings; I love the full incontinence my stent gives me and I certainly can function sexually with it in but, on balance, I find sexual activity more enjoyable without it.
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To put it succinctly, because I don't want to have to think about or deal with going to the bathroom; instead, I want my nappy to deal with it.
But it's more involved than that. My interest in diapers started around age 11 and I experimented a bit during my teens when I had the opportunity. I liked wearing and using nappies - they felt good, I liked the rebellion of doing something most people would have found strange/disgusting/perverted, and I liked that I didn't have to stop other things I was doing in order to find a toilet (when I was a child I also had a real dislike of public toilets, so the idea of not having to use on really appealed to me).
Some time in my late teens/early 20s I got a story from DPF about a boy who is fascinated by diapers and then hits a moment of revelation where he understands he wants to be in nappies 24/7 and to be incontinent so that no-one can take them away from him - and it was like a light going on in my brain. I've been fascinated/obsessed by it ever since - somehow, it wasn't enough to use diapers for fun any more, I wanted to go further and have no choice - and for no-one else to have a choice - about my being in diapers.
Over the years the obsession has refined a bit; I now know that the incontinence I want to experience is a constant and almost unconscious dribble, so there's no warning of when I start and no ability to stop; it seems to me that that's the ultimate achivement because then I can't be without a diaper in any circumstances except when I'm in the shower - at all other times protection is essential (as opposed to a version of incontinence where people get a few seconds' warning, and they have the possibility of making it to a bathroom).
I dislike any experience of 'needing' to pee, still less any sense of desperation, but the thought of an unconscious and constant flow and that I can't manage such a basic bodily function gives me such a kick. Not only that, but I *enjoy* it - a big part of incontinence for me is liking something that most people would find unpleasant or intolerable, but here am I positively wanting to spend my life in wet diapers.
I'm not there yet but I'm making progress; I've worn 24/7 for many years, bedwet regularly, experience significant periods when I'm so relaxed things just flow continuously and the rest of the time I'm peeing several times an hour, so in all practical senses I am incontinent. I can experience the level of incontinence I truly want by using a stent, which I do regularly, but it's not the helpless lack of control which would be my ultimate goal. That's why I've been so fascinated with the surgical option that @Reddy has gone through - I'm full of admiration for his willingness to commit. Whether I'd consider the surgical route myself I'm not sure but it's certainly the result I would like to obtain. In one way it's a bit odd - I almost feel that I want to lose control so that I can take control - rather than let my bladder control my life by forcing me to go to the toilet when I'm trying to do other things, it's about me dealing with a diaper change when *I* want to do it. On top of that, there's just the straightforward love of being in diapers, and the sensation of becoming wet with virtually no realisation of it happening.
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8 hours ago, Reddy said:
Omg 😃😃😃
If we're ever close by, that sounds great 😁
Never say never - but why are the interesting guys always so far away?! (DM if you'd like ...)
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3 hours ago, Reddy said:
I'm not sure about dating. I haven't done much of that. But I will just try and hope it's not a problem for me being in diapers. Hopefully people are understanding of bladder issues and incontinence.
I would date you lol!
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9 hours ago, Reddy said:
Well, I'm feeling pretty great today.
I feel 100% incontinent today.
Not once has my bladder been full. Not once have I noticed peeing except for a trickling sensation at the tip of my penis. Not once have I had any reflex to hold my pee. I have just gotten more and more wet between diaper changes.
This is amazing.
Congrats Reddy - it's so good that you've achieved what you set out to do. Loads of questions, of course ...
When you first posted after the cath was removed you were despondent as you didn't think the surgery had worked, so can you tell us how the realisation that things had succeeded came on?
Do you know what the likelihood is of another stricture developing?
Looking forward to seeing how you adjust to being in diapers 24/7. Do you have a sense yet of how your sexual function is going to work, or are still things too tender? And what's your approach to dating going to be in the future?
Congrats again 🙂
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I don't know about comparisons with the US but I think attitudes to child-rearing in the UK have changed compared to, say, when I was a child in the late 60s/early 70s. Now there seems to be quite a strong mentality of waiting 'until the child is ready' to do something and not pressuring them, whereas there used almost to be a competition amongst parents to get their kids out of nappies as quickly as possible. But how does a child know when it's ready? I think for many children change (no pun intended) is challenging and so it's easier to stay in the comfort zone. When it comes to toilet-training, much as I love my nappies, it seems to me that the vast majority of children can be and ought to be toilet-trained by the time they start school (age 5 in the UK) if not by the time they start nursery (around 3 - 3 1/2). They're mature enough by then to understand what it means to use the toilet, to sense when they have to go, and to hold it for a bit. It's really not the job of teachers, who have a tough enough time as it is, to be changing the nappies of 5-year-olds.
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I wake up wet every morning I've been wondering how often I wet in my sleep for a long time - sometimes I wake up in the night needing to go, other times I think I may be vaguely conscious but have no memory of being awake. So recently I bought a bedwetting alarm to see if I could work out what the situation is; so far it's woke me up about one night in three. But that's enough - no way I could be without nappies at night with that record. Of course, I hope it could increase to every night ...
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@Stroller Like you I love terry nappies and wear them every night when I'm at home. I've occasionally worn them during the day but worry a bit about the smell - even with a good pair of plastic pants I notice the odd whiff of stale pee / ammonia after a few hours. It doesn't bother me - in fact, I like it - but it feels like it might be a bit of a give away. Have you noticed anything? Do you take any precautions to stop the odour building up?
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I'd be interested too 🙂 @paulinbrum
Thanks!
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1 hour ago, bleie1990 said:
That sounds pretty good! What kind of retrieval line do you use?
I don't - if you give back a few pages, there's a pic of my stent and it's designed so I don't need a retrieval line 🙂
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2 hours ago, bleie1990 said:
For you guys who have been successful in making a stent that fits your body good. Do you reuse the stent or do you make a new stent each time?
And if you reuse it, how do you clean and sterilize it?I reuse my stent for as long as I think it will last. I sterilize it simply by putting it in a pan of boiling water and heating on a high temperature for a couple of minutes before I want to reinsert it. I've never had any problem with UTIs etc.
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I wonder if wearing cloth nappies at night might help you on your way: the thing about disposables is they're designed to make you feel as dry as possible and so, actually, you don't get used to feeling really wet. OTOH, cloth nappies really do feel wet and if you use them regularly you get accustomed to that feeling. I've noticed recently that even why my nappies leak (and sometimes the leaks are quite big) I still sleep straight through and wake up in the morning to a wet patch on my bed pad ...
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This article in a UK paper has some ideas. Pity they didn't suggest going back into nappies and enjoying a good night's bedwetting ...
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Have you tried cloth diapers?
in [DD] Surveys
Posted
I wear cloth nappies and plastic pants every night when I'm at home. Partly because I love the feel, partly because it's more economical - and I'm old enough for cloth to be what I used when I was young, although I don't really remember that ...