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Since I'm in diapers a lot, by choice, since I'm a DL, I'm sure that I would be taken in with my diapers - and plastic pants - intact. Having had a little fall "off the wagon" a couple of months ago, I even stayed in jail for 8 hours in diapers, but that's another story. Obviously, if you come to ER in diapers, and they are wet and/or messy, most peeps in the medical field will assume it is for real need, and not jollies and titters & grins. If I ended up in a hospital bed, naked, with just a bed pad under me, I would make sure I wet it - I, too, would have to draw the line at a BM - and if questionned, would sure say something about there having been a reason why I was in diapers when I was brought in, and it would be more comfortable if I could be able to switch back to my preferred "underwear". I can't see where any medico, hospital or nursing facility would refuse the request, if made sincerely and without indication of titillation, even if you had your own preferred brand of diapers - better, more absorbent ones - than what they had on hand or provided. I can see where they might and probably would draw the line at cloth diapers and plastic pants. This is the disposables age, Baby! Convenience, convenience, convenience. I'm sure they would find, with wet bedding constantly, how inadequate most and most often used "incontinence briefs" really are!

Now, that's what I would call a tremendous vignette of the AB world. It seems so appropriate and very well done, without any condescending commentary. It's not for me, but, I'm sure, for many in the AB world - up to the shocking and "it could happen!" twist, the epitome of what they would want and enjoy in their AB mind! Thanks for posting this, AJ. I wonder how it could be treated for DLs. A DL, just filling her diaper, running to the car to get home and changed, gets hit by a bus crossing the street and not looking first? Wow....

If you are looking for a firm load, a lot of it depends upon what you ingest, how you digest it, and how much hydration you have. Some things like alcohol and caffeine DEhydrate you. If you use laxatives, it has the affect of making your stool easier to pass, which is the idea. If you're looking to duplicate what is done in some of the videos out there, to be able to push a "log" out into your diaper, it's said that some of those poops have been working their way through a couple of days or more. And, if you've can't get it out, it's called constipation. If you have to continually push and push to expel, you're going to end up with hemorrhoids. Take a closer look at nutrition and your nutrition, specifically. Then experiment. What works for someone else may not work for you.

There have been ABs appear on shows like "Jerry Springer" and "Montel Williams". It won't matter HOW you present yourself. People may be empathetic, but you will still be viewed as pathetic, and a sad case, unable to deal with the real world on an adult level. Even an AB, unless they have a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Mama, has to work, hold down a job, function with others in everyday society. It simply is not realistic to think that an adult can forever be a baby, a true infant, their entire life. Many "normals" simply consider the AB or DL world, and those in it, to be a joke. As a lifestyle, it's out of the question. If you can do it, fine. It will provide you 15 minutes of fame - or infamy - but actually do little to promote any type of cause for the AB/DL world, simply looking for acceptance, and understanding, even if we do our thing in private, providing thrill to ourselves only.

"They" say that a person needs to make lemonade out of lemons. I think that's what you are doing. And, that's the bottom line. Make lemonade out of your lemons. Diapers are absorbent underwear. The fact that you need them and use them, is practical. If you weren't an incon, and you didn't like the underwear that you normally wore, you'd go to something different. When you need absorbent underwear, far better you find it comfortable and enjoy it than the reverse. Enjoy what you enjoy. It's your cross to bear. Bear it the best way that you can...

Jeff, I KNOW what you have said. Your quotes are above. HOWEVER, what SHE wants, as compared to what is "acceptable", has nothing to DO with the "conservative segment" of our community. You are specific about what she would like to experience. Obviously, the places that would generate the most "value" to meet her needs would not BE at a porn shop, fetish club or fetish gathering, where she might even be ignored as simply "doing her own thing". My concern is NOT "accidental" exposure. And, HER humiliation is fine. The issue IS, unless it is prearranged with/for someone to be an "innocent dupe"(read that, previously agreed to play along and be "shocked" and "humilative" to your GF), the negative that can be generated far outweighs and positive that could come of it IN THE PUBLIC EYE. I would that BDSM may be more "acceptable" simply because it's more widely known, but the last time the news reported on someone being taken out in public wearing a collar and a leash, it generated a LOT of negative press. And, the last guy that chose to go into 7/11 at midnight wearing diapers, a t-shirt and sandals, BESIDES getting a ride "downtown" in the back of a police car for "psychological evaluation" ended up highlighted in newspapers across the country, as did the idiot that hired a "babysitter" to "change his diapers", only for HER to discover he was NOT disabled OR mentally lacking or medically incontinent. HE ended up being charged with a crime, minor though it was. The question WAS a great one. However, like all of us in ANY community, there ARE things that are better NOT played out or certain desires simply NOT fulfilled due to propriety and simple consideration of others. And, that has nothing to do with our "kinder, gentler" namby, pamby society we've become. Sometimes you just gotta' suck it up and wish it could happen, but just let it go, lest you bring down a "house of cards" upon yourself. She can do what she wants, and you can assist her in her quest, but I, for one, would ask that you both try to fulfill this need another way... That's just me.

NO! Emphatically, NO! ESPECIALLY if her only thrill is to shock other people. Our community does NOT need this. Great for HER, BAD for others who would simply be offended. I'M an avowed DL and would be offended KNOWING that the exposure wasn't "inadvertant", but intentional. Please, please, please stick to places where it might be accepted, kink clubs, kink gatherings, even porn/kink shops. Otherwise, do this DISCREETLY. And, Wal-Mart already is enough of a zoo without it being a magnet for "flaming" AB or even DL types that simply want to shock other people. The need to go "public" can be strong, and person MIGHT have nothing to lose in doing so. However, the damage it does to our community is almost irreparable. We really DON'T need any more negative press...

I have to jump in here again. The die is cast. The options are set. If you want to enjoy what you enjoy, you are going to have to figure out HOW to do it secretly, by yourself. You have been told what is with your wife and what she doesn't want. Hear it. Listen to it. Accept it. It is NOT going to change, and neither is SHE. This is the issue time and time again, even WHEN the "revelation" has been made before marriage. Things, situations and attitudes change. And, once the ring is on the finger, it's not usually for the better. Once the vows have been spoken, in most cases, a long leash gets reeled in little by little. Unless a husband chooses to dig in, and force some sort of concession, it is HE that is going to have to give things up, and back down. There have been a plethora of suggestions offered and hopes extended. What WAS agreed upon often goes by the wayside, with all kinds of excuses WHY that's so. Unless you can get some concessions from your wife, there will be none freely and willingly extended to you. That's life and the way it IS. However, good luck...

Um, you kind of have to have the right or acceptant partner, that isn't offended by "aroma" - which you can deal with with Nullo and other internal "deodorizers". I kind of doubt, unless you find an "escort" that is into scat, you will be allowed poopy diaper sex...

I think Dr. Laura and John Gray say the same thing. And, now on the third marriage of my own, I can totally agree. This should be "Maxim #1" of the Rules for Relationships". LOL As far as I'm concerned, this is a very hard-core, though very realistic approach. We, DLs and ABs, are "damned if we do, damned if we don't". What has been said above is based upon fact, and is true, if not reality. But, for most in our community, it's not that easy and NOT an approach most want to or are willing to take. I have long said a person needs to "draw a line in the sand" BEFORE a lot of time and emotion are invested, OR a committment has been made. But, for many, that's not the way it's been done. Too, it seems that it's always accepted(expected?) that women change and CAN, and we guys - "for the sake of love" - just accept it and let it go. In many cases, that simply happens. It "takes two to tango". It will also take two to work out what is acceptable between them. It's work, and partners have to be willing to make the effort to put IN the effort if they really want to make a go of a relationship, that on the whole - except for diaper fetishism - that has a lot of viability, hope and reason to be pursued...

This should piss us ALL off. THAT is the perception SOCIETY has toward ABs and DLs, that they are OFF THE WALL, sick, mentally ill, perverted and out of touch with reality. And, with a performance like THAT, it fuels the fire in that regard. What a disappointment...

I virtually always use boost pads in the crotch area, and a cloth baby diaper front and back, which overlaps in the crotch for even MORE absorption. And, there's the ever present TWO pair of plastic pants for additional leakproofing. As the cloth diapers absorb, they wick wetness to all parts of the disposable. And, even a slow-absorbing Molicare or Abena Abriform X-Plus can be fully used up this way, over a LONG period of time. Even a "package" of this sort can be worn pretty discreetly without too much "bulge" depending upon the outer clothing you wear. If you're gonna wear skin-tight clothes, the diapers may be more obvious, but the use of a onesie can help smooth things out, overall. So, "B" would be MY answer...

Don't particularly CARE for advice. But, if you'd like to explore the world of an avowed 55 yr. old DL, happily married and quite content, you're welcome to read my blog entries AND be in contact. If it helps you, fine. I think I've done a fine job of coming to grips with ME and how I am, and am in a happy place, without the help of psychology, psychiatry OR psychotropic medications!

Duh.

Knowing yourself as you do, could you throw away all your supplies and never look back, never buy again, and never incorporate diapers into your life ever again - if, for some reason, you HAD to? And, this means that you NOT ever indulge yourself secretly or "on the sly", EVER AGAIN. Knowing yourself as you do, especially if you are comfortable with your urges/desires and accept yourself as you ARE, WOULD you throw away all your supplies and never look back, never buy again and never incorporate diapers into your life ever again - if, for some reason, you found you COULD? Would you WANT to?

Exactly... And, unlike the anxiety of a sub having to "go", with diapers a part of the bondage, the anxiety is having to "go" INTO A DIAPER, which, instead of making a mess, is kept close to the body, a constant reminder OF the bondage and having failed at "holding it". Talk about a natural! And, instead of just bondage, there is the additional humilation of being kept in diapers "like an infant"... To me, it's a plus. I guess it's just, again, perception by the players of the game. And, it can be, you do your thing, we do ours OR it can be blended. How open-minde ARE the players?

This is like the Dr. Laura thing about telling a spouse that you've had an affair when they do NOT know about it. It may make YOU feel better to 'fess up, but WHAT will it mean to the other person - in this case, your mother? You then burden someone else with the knowledge of something that may then damage a relationship or leave them dealing with something they don't understand or aren't capable of understanding or dealing with. You are a DL. You can indulge yourself discreetly. WHY does your mother NEED to know about your DL side/life/world? She doesn't. WHY does anyone ELSE need to know about your "secret desires" or "secret life"? They DON'T. I agree with BettyPooh. You need to work through a lot of feelings and emotions YOURSELF, FIRST. THEN, and only then, you can decide whether you want to involve OTHER people, and to what degree. Deal with YOUR anxiety, FIRST, YOURSELF. It's like getting through the first period of time after quitting smoking. Once you resist the urge for that first cigarette, it's going to be tough. But, if you can tough out THIS five minutes, maybe you can make through the next 5 minutes, then maybe the next 15 minutes, etc. until the urge/craving passes. Dealing with anxiety regarding diaper fetishism is like this. Deal with your anxiety, FIRST. THEN, move forward...

You identify yourself as an Incon, a DL or an AB. Incons, obviously, don't have a lot of choice. How proud of you of who you are and what you choose to wear? Do you accept yourself and are comfortable with being incon, DL or AB? Or, do you still loathe who you are, how you are and what you choose to wear? Do you feel pride or do you feel shame and are you apologetic? Can you feel pride or do you always feel remorseful because you feel and ARE different from many others in our society? Are you proud to just be who you are and how you are? Oh, and I'm not talking about "fist pumping", "gay pride parade"(defiant?), "Pride goeth before the fall...(Biblical) types of "pride". So, what is it? Pride or scorn? And, what are you most proud OF?

It's absolutely AMAZING what kind of responses can be generated with a simple question which SO relates to our "community" and any number of its members! WOW! Ever had a wine or champagne enema? Suppositories and enemas, simply a way to encourage and speed up "nature". You start talking diapers along with this and then the digression starts about how terrible poopy diapers and dealing with them is! LOL The temperature taking? Well, a lot of people like the idea of reprising getting their temperature taken as an infant/child, however, over time, some of those, being "anally inclined" - and anal play CAN be very erotic, exciting and pleasurable, for those who have never tried it or don't like the idea - "graduate" to other and bigger things! But, if you don't try it, you'll never know! LOL

Unlike most relationship issues discussed and explored at this site, you HAD open communications, and nothing, it seems, was being hidden! Refreshing! Now, withIN the issues, things need a little tweaking. Maybe it will take MORE communication, and more defining of roles and what you each enjoy/feel you need. You're further ahead than most couples. You each may have to set parameters of what you WILL accept and WON'T. Compromise may be difficult but if you perfect the art of compromise in your relationship, you can both find fulfillment and happiness within the roles you have defined for yourselves and each other... In our selfish society and world, it takes a realization that in many cases, we ARE being selfish and self-centered with what we want and demand. And, unfortunately, it means we often take other people for granted, and it also means, we often take for granted the most the people we are closest to. The lost art of applying "The Golden Rule", and the idea that if you give MORE than you NEED to, WITHOUT any expectation of a greater return OR some sort of reward for being "so generous", you might be surprised at what IS returned to you! Sometimes, there will be a wall that will be faced - a point at which a person simply cannot or will not compromise beyond, and that needs to be identified in a relationship. And, as M 90 says, above, a couple DOES have to put in some honest work to try and fulfill their partner. If you really DO care, you WILL try to fulfill your partner, unselfishly, more than you NEED to. I cannot relate to the specifics here because you both seems to be a little kinky, with some deeply-seated "leanings" which you like to indulge, my relationship is pretty tame and "vanilla" in comparison. But, for ANY relationship to work, and continue, long-term, a couple HAS to communicate well, openly communicate and choose to do what it takes, via compromise, to make their relationship succeed. I hope you are a couple that can and will.

While I cannot relate to being truly incontinent, being a diaper wearer/user BY CHOICE, certainly put a different spin on dating. Now in my third marriage, I dealt with the diaper issue during two previous marriages. I decided that I would NOT invest a lot of time and emotion in someone who could not accept my diapers, my DL side/life/world. Period. Thus, it meant I had to be upfront about it EARLY ON. No acceptance, no continuation of any type of relationship, and certainly not long-term. Incontinence, just because it includes the use of something besides medications, should not be any different than any other type of medical condition or situation. And, depending upon how you choose to approach it, and have the right to EXPECT a particular response and consideration in return, being dumped should NOT be because of incon or diapers. Rather, it should be because of incompatibility issues in other areas of your relationship. And, like in ANY dating/relationship situation, a person KNOWS if it's working or not, or has long-term potential. So, you can allow your incon to rule and direct YOU, or YOU can choose to deal with it and direct how YOU proceed in your life and relationship. Of course, unless you NEED to make it an issue - like you might leak while out, or need a change while on a trip, etc. - there really isn't any need to "'fess up" or "reveal" until it's absolutely NECESSARY. Of course, the earlier on revelation is made, the less chance you will invest more time and emotion than you should in a relationship that has the potential to go nowhere... I think this issue has to go both ways - a woman dating a male incon or a man dating a female incon. And, if the person IS a true incon, they have a legitimate medical condition and issue. Diapers, their need and use, is a part of that. A person that would dump someone because they choose to or have to wear "absorbent underwear" is small-minded, petty, unfair and not realistic. Would they do the same thing to someone else with some OTHER sort of medical problem(s) or condition(s)? And, if they did, they aren't much as "dating material". You need to find someone better, with more potential and a more open mind, and you should. You deserve it. A true incon learns how to take steps to avoid odor and leakage. A real friend will want to and be there to jump in and HELP if the unexpected happens. A partner who really cares would be the sameway. When you date, you're not LOOKING for a caregiver. You're looking for a potential life-partner. A true incon is not normally an AB(while they could end up being a DL or AB over time...), and would not normally be looking for someone to "change their diapers" like an infant, unless they were physically incapable of applying their own diapers, which, to me, means a whole lot MORE medical/physical issues than just wearing diapers on a date. Eventually, out of love, compassion, and maybe even adult "play" leading to intimacy, diaper changing might be involved, but I will bet that out of embarassment alone, most incons "do the honors" by themselves AND privately... The thing that troubles me here is the online "handle", with the word "Baby" in it. To me, this indicates AB versus just incon. There is NO reason why dating and diapers don't mix or CAN'T mix. As a DL, dating an diapers definitely DID mix, and had I been a true incon, they would have HAD to mix. Again, it's all in a person's approach with another person. You can continually be apologetic or you can be factual and realistic. If someone rejects you because you wear absorbent underwear, you probably weren't compatible long-term anyway, and if it hadn't been diapers, you would have gone your own separate ways due to something else! Really, it's that simple. THAT is dating. As the screen name indicates, there would be more here than the situation might allow, especially with a shy, embarassed, private incon. "Changing each other" is beyond just dealing with an incon. Obviously, a person who is an incon, or DL, and in some cases, AB, would be more amenable and capable of accepting an incon partner. There is less chance of acceptance by someone who has NO connection with or understanding of incontinence, its causes, its ramifications and its management or an open mind such that they are capable of dealing with a person with a disability. It's all about how you deal with what God has given you and making lemonade out of lemons. A person that is constantly pessimistic and negative is going to see that coming back at them. We seem to reflect back to us, like radar, what we broadcast. It takes a long time for most people to realize that and learn that. And, for all my "verbal dysentery, there is NO reason that a person should be dumped soley for the fact that they are incontinent. I maintain it's more than that in a "getting dumped" situation. And, if a person SAYS they are dumping you simply because you are incontinent, or they can't deal with your incontinence or that they can't deal with your diapers, it's a lame excuse/reason and convenient for them. They are NOT worth any more time and emotion if they're going to be that small-minded and petty, when they haven't been honest about the real reason they want to part ways...

There is a lot of merit "flying under the radar", and I agree with that. However, unlike the negative press the idiots who don't THINK before they go public in diapers, reinforcing the idea in the public that people like us ARE abnormal, some sort of positive press WOULD be nice. But, it's not going to happen, and we are even ostracized and condemned in the BDSM world, which some of society views as "legitimate" kink! How abnormal is THAT? We have to present ourselves in as positive a light as we can, in our own situations, and make no apology for being different. It still doesn't mean we are going to find acceptance and encouragement from "society" in general. No matter what I feel or how I feel, I don't think you're ever going to see a "Diaper Pride" parade anywhere, and a bunch of DLs or ABs publicly "coming out"! We need to understand the lack of acceptance for our "leanings" and the perception in regard TO it. Fine. That is other people's opinion. And, when it's freely given, it's worth exactly what it cost to hear... I reiterate my comment about a "Diaper Pride" parade or something like that, especially with some big public splash. Sure, it would attract a lot of people wondering what the participants were up to, but some things are just better left behind closed doors between and among consenting adults. As much as many would love to be openly "out", the question IS, WHAT would it accomplish? You can act infantile out in public is you wish and you can wear diapers and use them, discreetly, out in public. ABs and DLs DO try to legitmize their feelings and urges, and DO feel guilty about being "different" about something they, themselves view as abnormal or weird. So, how can they expect that the rest of society doesn't view those of our "community" the same way? It's a vicious cycle. There is no definitive answer. What we DO have to do is try to keep a lid on those who WOULD and DO cast the rest of us in a negative light. At least that much can help. Dealing with our own demons is another issue..

First problem was that you got married and THEN told her about your DL side/life AFTER two YEARS. You are lucky you have gotten to indulge yourself to the degree that you HAVE. Unless you can reach some kind of compromise - and you HAVE been to counseling - if you want to keep the girl, you have to decide HOW important your DL side/life/world IS to you as compared to your love/marriage to your wife. It may mean that you have some kind of agreement that allows you indulge yourself only when she is not around. Get used to instability and the emotional rollercoaster with your wife. It's normal. A woman is a woman - and NO slam intended here. It's called female hormones and is very natural. You have to get used to it and learn how to deal with it if you love her and have no intention of splitting up. Sometimes, in the compromise, if she will let you indulge yourself, you can make sure she gets something SHE likes/wants/needs, and maybe way MORE than what you perceive as the "value" of what YOU receive out of the compromise. She's entitled to her opinion(s), but it's not fair or right to change the rules of the game in the middle of the game. So, you have to reach a common ground. And, that's the only way it's going to work, or your only option is to withdraw, and for most of us DLs, that is just not acceptable and doesn't work for very long. The worst thing you can do is indulge yourself "on the sly". She will always be suspicious, and it WILL damage your relationship over time, to the point of destroying it. Good luck.

I have a male friend who is a DL and loves to mess. We've gotten together and hung out. I can diaper him but he won't diaper me. I would LOVE to bring him off orally, and tried one time, but he couldn't keep it up - said he wasn't into it. I've told him I'd like to have him "do" me from behind, but again, he says he's not into it. I've said that I'm bi, as I have this "itch" I'd like to scratch - to see if I could bring another guy off orally as well as feel what it feels like to be used by another guy as a receptacle in the back side. That said, I have a favorite fantasy of being a kept diaper slave to a couple, kept in diapers, to service them and anyone else they bring into their house, female OR male. Exciting to think of, but not realistic and will never happen. So, does that make me Bi? Guys do not interest me sexually, particularly, and I am not attracted by males. Some guys look great in puffy diapers and have found a "package" that looks just right on them and I like to see that. Maybe I'm just a natural submissive, and like the idea of being sexually dominated, even with a little bondage thrown in. But, when it comes to diapers, adult women clad only in diapers or visibly diapered are the hottest thing, for me, on this PLANET. Since I'm, what I consider, straight(ok, for the most part...) and married, I'm not going to be trolling for a single, available, DL woman to live out my life with, nor am I going to pursue scratching my itch. I am quite content and happy with my wife and the interaction we HAVE. As far as Bi, and my "itch", I am very much into sensations - so, diapers provide all kinds of pleasant physical sensations as they are worn and used - and since, as my wife insists, I'm very hedonistic, the idea of giving and getting pleasure from another male intrigues me and sounds good. Since I'm married, I am committed to my wife, and she's all the woman I will ever need - though not my "definitive female DL partner" - and that's that!

Obviously, cloth diapers require plastic pants for "leakproofing". That means, besides the need to launder them, a "two-piece package". We have become a society of convenience, a "disposable society", as it were. Disposable diapers for infants were designed FOR convenience, to make life easier for parents, to make diapering - a necessity for infant care - simpler and less work. For some, they prefer particular disposables because that's what they were raised in. For some, they have that preference because of sight, sound and smell of days gone by, which triggered something for later on - diaper fetishism that could be acted upon. While I really prefer cloth diapers, though depending upon the material, they are often less comfortable than disposables - which manufacturers keep tweaking and improving, over the whole range of sizes, up to adult sizes, so that they don't FEEL like a diaper! - and while you will KNOW when the cloth diaper is close to used up and near leaking, disposables definitely have their place and are more convenient to use in most situations. Obviously, disposable diaper tapes are not going to set off metal detectors at an airport, and when travelling, a person would not have to launder or rinse cloth diapers(or for me, the cloth soakers I use to extend the wear time of a disposable, and improve the absorption rate of the diaper's fill), and carry wet, heavy cloth back home or find a place, even at a hotel or motel, to launder and dry cloth. That said, disposable capacity CAN be extended with creative use of inserts, doublers or baby diapers as a soaker. I think, depending upon the age of a person, it's more what was used on you in your formative years which drives what you prefer now. Listening to what people say about the INconvenience of having to launder cloth diapers, CONVENIENCE afforded by disposable products clearly is a major factor in their choice for use as well as the huge market for them, relegating cloth diapers to a minor role in our society, though there clearly still is a market for them.