Sarah_Hillcrest

Thanks for the reply, but I'm sure you can appreciate that different time periods have different styles and aesthetics. When I decided to try making my first cloth diapers I started researching online and discovered PUL. I had purchased plastic pants in the past and because I didn't care for correctly they disentegrated quickly. I went to a local fabric store and bought a few yards of PUL. It's smell, texture, and appearance seemed familiar to me even then. When I made a diaper cover it seemed even more familiar. When I used and washed that cover it felt even more familiar. I was born in 1979, I don't when PUL first started being used but I would swear that I was around this stuff when I was little, either in handmade training pants, bibs, mattress protectors or something. It feels so familiar to me. Rubber pants have no familiarity to me.

I have sewed some cloth diapers and PUL covers, nothing fancy, and no where near as nice as a real seamstress. I had this idea for thin all in one. I'm thinking cute outer material, a layer of PUL, then a couple layers cotton with maybe just a thin soaker pad. The idea is to sew in velcro tabs that would allow either cotton inserts or size 6 diapers to be attached. Kind of like a pocket diaper, but I find that with pockets unless I stuff them super full the inserts won't say put.

I have two cheap pocket diapers from amazon, they leak unless you stuff them alot. They came with microfiber inserts that are too small. I've had alot better luck from my ecoables snap in insert diaper. Much easier and inserts are the right size and stay put.

@DL-Boy So this was a long running battle between my wife and me. I'd indulge in infantile things, get caught by my wife, she'd freak out and I'd completely freeze up. I would deny I was wearing diapers while wearing a diaper. She would threaten to tell my parents so many times, she almost did a few times, but she never did.

Well it's been awhile so how about another update. In the last nine days since I've posted I've only worn a few times, as I have experienced in the past the need goes away after indulging in diapers for awhile. I keep all my diapers and changing supplies in the basement, so I'd got into routine of getting up early and getting diapered. Several days lately I just felt like that would be too much bother. If I'd had a diaper upstairs I might have put it on, or maybe not. This morning was the first time I had a real strong urge, which was a good thing I discovered on my morning walk. I seem to have a few lasting effects from my 24 days of being mostly diapered, I haven't been able to sleep for more then about 5 hours without getting up to pee, my bladder has definitely lost capacity. During the day I'm sure that I'm peeing more and less amounts, though I haven't experienced any of those "I'm going to wet myself" moments for quite awhile. @oznl who is Ebony Storm?

@Ferix Congratulations it sounds like your situation is pretty good. I'm just curious since you mentioned your husband, are you gay? Just asking since that might have been something your parents already worked through. I would love to talk to my Mom about it, definitely not my Dad. I honestly wish my wife was more on board with them so I could just have someone to share it with, but she's just baffled and it makes her uncomfortable. Years ago my wife brought up and talked about one of her aunts that wore diapers because of a medical condition and she was in her 40s. She explained that she chose diapers over a catheter. She said everyone knew and no one cared. So in your case if you can claim an actual medical condition then I think it would be much easier to share. I know exactly what you mean by BIID. The first time I saw a documentary about it I was like, yeap, that's me with diapers. Except for luckily for me it comes and goes and it's never strong enough to completely over ride my executive functioning... for the most part LOL.

I've been struggling with weight forever as well. I've never been at a healthy weight at any time in my entire life and yes that includes early childhood. My parents took me to the doctor about it when I was around 10 I think. Instead of running tests the doctor just asked my Mom what kind of food she cooked then gave her some pamphlets on healthy cooking, telling her that her cooking was causing me to be fat, she didn't think to mention that my brother was rail thin. Though still I think it's mainly that I love sugar, so probably my fault. In 2010 I hit 300 pounds and realized I was beginning to struggle to do simple things, in the next 3 years I did a few things and got down to 225. Walking everyday, lifting weights, and big change in what I ate. I didn't do any diet, just switched to protein as much as possible. When the weight started coming off it really came off, I lost most of that in less than a year, then got stuck. Now I'm back to 245 and trying again.

@jaytay I noticed something similar. I would have either periods of very regular and easy wettings where I felt like my bladder was relaxed all the time. Then later it would seem like my baldder was on lockdown and I would flood every few hours. To pee I had to really push. I think it had to do with what I'd ate and drank.

DIdn't have any romantic relationships until I was 18. 1999, I didn't tell me wife, who I'd been dating for 2 years, though she discovered ABDL webpages on my computer and pictures so I had to confess about it, she asked me to stop and I said I would. For the next many years I of course found that stopping was much harder said then done and I would occasionally get caught, leading to some unpleasant situations. Looking back on this the fault was all mine because I was unable to talk about it, I would not say a word except for that I'd never do it again. It was the lies and silence that hurt more than the diapers I think. At some point after a discussion about them she asked me to start putting on diapers during sex, and a few times even put them on me, she even tried once, but she found it unpleasant and stopped. 2013, Our relationship was at its worst with lots of difficulties, diapers being one of them, but only a small one. Thankfully some things improved and we got through this rough patch though we both had considered multiple ways to get out. 2017, Something in me had changed over the last couple years and I opened up to my wife about a few things. One of the hardest things to do was try to explain to her what its like to be 13 and completely obsessed with diapers and holding all these secrets your entire life. How I'd wanted to wear girls clothing, how I'd have endless dreams about being turned into a girl or baby. I think for the first time she begin to feel sympathy, though its hard to be mad at someone when they can't stop crying. 2020, So here are today. My wife does not want to see my diapers or have anything to do with them, but she seems to accept that it's just part of me. She's OK with me wearing around her, she's OK with my rather growing collection of women's clothes. She's somewhat annoyed by the multiple storage boxes of diapers and baby things, but it seems to be more worry about someone discovering them and the associated cost.

April 9th, This is a rather big update, but features a few important events. Last night I put on a thick cloth pocket diaper, stuck an extra baby diaper in it, plastic pants, then some panties over that and a pair of baggy shorts. I waddled into the bedroom and if my wife noticed she didn't’ say anything. Fell asleep fast, and woke up an hour later to pee. That pattern continued the rest of the night, but it seemed for me to be harder to fall back asleep every time. Didn’t feel very rested. I put on on a Bunnyhops diaper in the morning and went on my walk then made my wife some breakfast before she went to work. The Bunnyhops are very crinkly. So now here’s the deal. I never specifically told my wife I was wearing all the time, but I did tell her I was buying diapers and wearing them. Her attitude has softened alot in the last couple years, less from I’m going to have you committed to please don’t leave pacifiers and baby blankets laying around the house. She has a part time job she’s still doing every morning and I’ve been walking her to the door. This morning I could tell I was a little more noisy even though I had the Bunnyhop diaper covered with a two panties and sweatpants. We were outside on the porch and she gave me a funny look, “You’re crinkling,” she said. “It’s that noticeable?” “Yeap, you’re crinkling way more than normal, you need to try something different.” I stood there as she walked out to the car and before she got in really loudly with a big smile she said, “Bye Bye crinkles!” I’m still processing this, I don’t know what it means yet. While she was gone I got dressed up in my new little easter dress and took a few pictures then went about the rest of my day. In the evening I found I didn’t have a strong interest in staying in diapers, one reason being I was starting to get worried about how it would be to go back to using the bathroom. So after about 30 hours in diapers straight I switched back. It was harder than I thought.Because I’d been on a ride the day before and felt dehydrated I’d been drinking lots of fluids all day. I began to feel a constant need to pee and made about 5 trips to the bathroom in the next few hours for depressingly small amounts. I also noticed post void dribble was way worse than it used to be to the point where I had little wet spots on my jeans. I feel a bit worried. April 10th, I had to get up to pee about 3 times in the night, the first time I woke up my bladder felt on the verge of giving in. After consideration I decided to not wear diapers today, foremost I didn’t feel like I wanted to, but also I was worried. A few hours into the day I started having thoughts about how much easier it would be if I just went back to diapers, but they weren’t overwhelming and I ignored them. For most of the day the need to pee came fast and hard and trying to hold it caused me to feel very uncomfortable. By evening it seemed to be gone. April 11th, It’s early morning still. Things in the bladder department feel back to normal. I didn’t feel an urge to get diapered this morning. I think this might be the last update for a while. 24 days straight wearing diapers on average about 14 hours a day I’d guess.

I saw this first hand when my parents were helping to potty train my niece. They started calling her Pull-Ups, "bad girl pants" It really shocked me, they must have done that to me when I was little too. I've never heard potty training called brainwashing, but that is so accurate.

leaks on the bed are one of the biggest reasons I'm not wearing at night on a regular basis. Some months ago I wore at night and leaked enough that my wife noticed that I was soaked and the sheets were damp. I expected this to be a huge blow up, but instead she just calmly asked me to please not do that again.

@DiaperedJoe I'm in the same boat on number 2s. I'm currently at 23 days, but not diapered at night except for a couple times. I usually have trouble going to sleep in a diaper, but I've been wearing so much now that I don't think I'll have any problem. I am a bit worried about going back to underwear, but not too worried, I don't think the changes are nearly as dramatic as you make them out to be, for me it just means going to the potty a bit earlier than I normally would for a few days. April 5th, I must be getting bored because I did a bunch of work today. Big clean up in the basement, big cleanup in my shed. I have the perfect space where I could set up a nursery area, but my wife would never go for that. 2 diapers today, the night one cloth and a big break in the middle of the day for a bike ride. I realize I’m cheating alot, In the last 24 hour hours I’ve spent about 10 of it in diapers. April 6th, My order of Molicare Super Plus diapers came today. $73 dollars for 90 diapers and they arrived in 2 days with free shipping.I wasn’t completely surprised to see that the box did nothing to hide it’s contents. It plainly said Molicare L and boasted of their 8 water drop absorbency rating. I was surprised by the box size, it’s no bigger than a half case of ABU diapers yet holds over twice as many. I lifted the box and couldn’t help but grunt, it was really heavy. Diapered for 16 hours straight today, used 1 cheapy, and 2 of the new Molicare. They seem to work well, they are incredibly thin, that’s how 90 can fit in one case. They are the quietest diaper I’ve used and I wouldn’t be afraid to wear one anywhere. Absorbency seems decent, much better than the Store brands, got about 6 hours out of them, but wasn’t wetting heavily. Tonight I struggled with my decision not to sleep in diapers, I think that I’m so used to wearing them that I will fall asleep like normal now. I guess I need to try. April 7th, Normal morning routine, needed to change around 11 and went with a cloth diaper. Went on an afternoon ride and decided to forgo diapers for the evening because of a slight sore spot on skin. Happy to say Urethra is 100% better now. April 8th, Too much exercise in strange April heatwave has left me dehydrated. Woke up and diapered for my morning walk, then changed for a bike ride. After the ride I wore the same diaper from 1 to 8 just barely wetting at all. After trying to catch up on fluids all day it’s like someone turned the faucet on and left it, Had to change and will have to change again before bed. Had a bit of time this afternoon to work on a sewing a vintage romper, have no idea what I’m doing though.

Hello, I've had an account here since 2007, that kind of stuns me, where did 13 years go? I was on ABDL websites in the late 90s, but I was too scarred to interacted. In fact when I made my account here in 2007 I picked the username diaperchucky completely randomly. I am currently posting here on a regular basis, and realized it felt stupid to keep using the name diaperchucky. I'm not claiming to have multiple personalities, and I don't really consider myself transgender. But over the years I've realized that when it comes to ABDL I'm not a male and I'm definitely not diaperchucky, whoever that was. I started experimenting with cross dressing a couple years ago, and while I'm not the type that goes out, and I'm only passable to someone who is not looking, I still felt I needed an appropriate name when I dressed. I've always loved the name Sarah, seems like lots of CDs do, and I started using that on a few different sites. I never posted a proper introduction here the first time, so now's a good time.

Thanks. The first time I inserted the catheter sound thing it worked right and suddenly without feeling pee was flowing out of the tube. The only interesting thing is an open catheter would require you to keep diapered. I think stents are the only way to truly get the feeling that we are looking for of not being able to control it, but that just sounds like a horrible idea to me.

Yeap, I was too ignorant to know the difference. Things are better today, no more pain, but it's extra sensitive. I'm still curious about using a catheter, but now I'm afraid. Surely an actual foley catheter wouldn't hurt like that coming out?

Yeah, you're totally correct. I thought it would be really interesting to experience something akin to incontinence. I've never had a catheter for medical reasons, but this device I purchased is definitely not medical grade. I think it might have been invented as some kind of torture device. Either way I'm done with it.

I somehow started receiving the ABdiscovery newsletter which mentions this very thing. In the past when I've had opportunities to wear 24/7 I found that by the end of the week I was happy to stop. I've now gone 24 days straight, and seem to have settled into a routine that I like. March 30th, Well today I think I found out what it means to be a heavy wetter. First day since I started this on March 10th that I actually went all day in diapers. I had several projects to do and felt like giving myself a break from cycling. I did take two walks though. I’ve decided it’s just common sense to wake up and use the potty before getting diapered. It makes very little sense to put on a diaper only to immediately soak it. Today I found myself wetting like crazy, though I don’t think I really drank any more than normal. By the end of the day I used 6 size 7 stuffers, a couple of pads, and 4 cheap adult diapers. I was constantly going down to the basement to change. 17 hours in diapers today. Got my Mason Jar bottle nipples today, they are great. The glass bottle feels just the right size for an adult baby bottle and the Y flow nipples are perfect. Now I’ve got some plastic lids coming that will look more authentic and I’m going to try to paint the bottle with some cute designs. March 31st, Wore a Bunnyhop from 6AM to 9PM. Changed stuffer 4 times I think. Had to take a trip today for work and spent a few hours there, made a wal-mart stop on the way home and was stunned to see no toilet paper. Crazy. Changed baby diaper stuffer in the family restroom, easy peasy. I called and talked to a seamstress today named Helen who specializes in ABDL designs. I’m going to order a custom dress and she invited me to call and discuss it several times.. I don’t know what therapy is like, but this has got to be close. One of the most loving people I’ve ever talked to. April 1st, Back to generic diapers today. I’ve got around 20 cheap diapers left and 50 ABDL diapers. I’m researching a good budget disposable diaper. Need to start using my cloth diapers more in the evening. A cute baby dress and diaper cover set I ordered on ebay arrived today, much earlier than I expected. I knew it would be short, but it’s really short. Online work meeting today, and some assignments that kept me busy. 2 adult diapers, 3 baby stuffers. April 2nd, Began to get a bit worried about my stash. Also growing weary of using the baby diapers as stuffers. Wore a cloth diaper today for the first time since starting this experiment, it leaked a little. Also ordered a case of 90 molicare super plus after lots of research on the best diaper under a dollar. Spent about 2 hours undiapered today for cycling. April 3rd, Starting to think now two weeks in that I’m feeling a change in my bladder, at least at night. I’m waking up earlier and earlier to pee. Woke up at 2 and went to the bathroom, then one of our precious cats woke me up at 3:30 so I put on a cloth diaper and by 5:30 was in danger of leaking. I’ve been experimenting with a urethral sound catheter. A very dumb thing to do, the last couple days I’ve experienced some really painful urination. I think I need to slow way down on it. April 4th, Still sore today but not as bad, slightly hurts to pee. I drank alot of water and milk this morning while working on painting my glass baby bottle, its almost done. Started peeing and soaked my morning diaper and stuffer. Had to empty my diaper pail this morning. Realized just how much I was relying on stuffers since it was mostly size 7 toddler diapers. The size 7 are just about as big rolled up as the cheap diapers I’ve been wearing, but that should be changing soon. I cheated for about half the day, just decided to give myself a break, but went diapered from about 3 to bed.

it's 350mm 5mm wide intermittent silicon catheter, but I'm not going to use it again.

I've been wearing bras a little for the last few years, I bought a couple on clearance and my wife gave me a few of her old ones. All of them with cups that fit my C sized falsies. I recently got the idea to look for one with my size band (44) and really small cups. On ebay I found a seller with a 42B pushup style bra for only 8 dollars. THe bra came with a free extender so it fits perfectly. I fill it up nicely and have noticeable boobs even under a heavy shirt, sure they look ridiculously small on someone my size but it's just wild to look down and see boobs that aren't silicone.

Wow, we're not there yet in the States, but I'm starting to get worried that the two weeks were suppose to "shelter in place" is really going to be more like 2 months. Good job on the cloth, I'm not quite ready for my wife to see me waddling around with 8 layers of soaked cotton under plastic pants.

Thanks. The pain changed yesterday into a very pleasurable feeling when peeing, almost like an orgasm. Felt completely normal this morning and I tried again. Once inserted I had no flow this time, but a very strong urge to pee. Eventually I pushed as i would pee and this caused me to pee around the catheter which was almost all the way in. Peeing around the catheter is what caused the pain yesterday and it hurt today too. I stuck with it today and found that if I slid it out a couple inches I was getting some flow through the tube a little from the sides. Left it in for awhile. Once out I was pretty sore and used my chastity cage and plug for awhile which seemed to make urination less painful. Now with that off and my urethra totally empty it's a really intense burning sensation. Would more water and diluted pee help? Why am I peeing around the tube when it's all the way in?

I finally gave into a long time curiosity and bought a silicon catheter. It's the smallest I could find 5mm and it has pronouced ridges. I have a chastity cage with a urethral plug so I've got a little experience. The first time I used the plug I was sore for the rest of the day, then I wore it more often and found it very comfortable. I haven't worn it for months though. I cleaned very well and lubed it and it slid in easy without force. Eventually it stopped after some slow back and forth it went all the way in and to my surprise I was peeing. I'd forgot to plug the tube. It slid out and I spent some time trying to get the little plug in the tube and work out how it's suppose to attach to the penis. I couldn't seem to get it to go back all the way in and I eventually realized my penis was starting to hurt. I took it out, and since yesterday it's burning at the tip of my penis when I pee, which I read was normal. It was a really intense burning sensation, but this morning it's much milder. I think I focused on lubing the end of the tube and my hole, but by the time the end of the tube got there the lube was mostly gone and pushed further in. Also I think hole has gone back to being smaller now. Any tips?

I somehow started receiving the ABdiscovery newsletter which mentions this very thing. In the past when I've had opportunities to wear 24/7 I found that by the end of the week I was happy to stop. I've now gone 24 days straight, and seem to have settled into a routine that I like. March 30th, Well today I think I found out what it means to be a heavy wetter. First day since I started this on March 17th that I actually went all day in diapers. I had several projects to do and felt like giving myself a break from cycling. I did take two walks though. I’ve decided it’s just common sense to wake up and use the potty before getting diapered. It makes very little sense to put on a diaper only to immediately soak it. Today I found myself wetting like crazy, though I don’t think I really drank any more than normal. By the end of the day I used 6 size 7 stuffers, a couple of pads, and 4 cheap adult diapers. I was constantly going down to the basement to change. 17 hours in diapers today. Got my Mason Jar bottle nipples today, they are great. The glass bottle feels just the right size for an adult baby bottle and the Y flow nipples are perfect. Now I’ve got some plastic lids coming that will look more authentic and I’m going to try to paint the bottle with some cute designs. March 31st, Wore a Bunnyhop from 6AM to 9PM. Changed stuffer 4 times I think. Had to take a trip today for work and spent a few hours there, made a wal-mart stop on the way home and was stunned to see no toilet paper. Crazy. Changed baby diaper stuffer in the family restroom, easy peasy. I called and talked to a seamstress today named Helen who specializes in ABDL designs. I’m going to order a custom dress and she invited me to call and discuss it several times.. I don’t know what therapy is like, but this has got to be close. One of the most loving people I’ve ever talked to. April 1st, Back to generic diapers today. I’ve got around 20 cheap diapers left and 50 ABDL diapers. I’m researching a good budget disposable diaper. Need to start using my cloth diapers more in the evening. A cute baby dress and diaper cover set I ordered on ebay arrived today, much earlier than I expected. I knew it would be short, but it’s really short. Online work meeting today, and some assignments that kept me busy. 2 adult diapers, 3 baby stuffers.

Why do you think only women can get yeast infections? Fungi cares not about your gender! I've had an absolutely horrible one, it was one of the most painful and disgusting things I've ever experienced, and many minors, but most have had little to do with diapers. A regular rash is just red irritated skin, this red irritated skin is prone to being colonized by Yeast. The yeast infection will be moist, slimy, smelly, and way more painful. #1 CLEAN! clean your diaper area frequently, take regular showers and get it really clean. #2 DRY! I know that sounds hard if you're wearing diapers, but baby powder will help keep you dryer longer, and if you're prone to getting them change out of wet diapers faster. #3 PREVENT! If I know I won't be changing for awhile I use diaper rash cream. If you have irritated skin #4 TREAT! In my experience the best treatment is the spray on powder for athletes foot. It burns like crazy at first, but then it will feel better and soon be gone. It has medicine and also keeps you dry. Once I get a yeast rash diaper rash cream didn't help me, and seemed to almost prolong it.