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Pennsylvania
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I used to try and force more of an interest in the AB side of things, until I accepted that I'm a diapered Adult Kid and not a baby. -
Every time I have a poo I uncontrollable pee on the bathroom floor. Also even though I have been very thorough with wiping with wet wipes, 10 minutes later I'm staining my underpants with skid marks which is unnoticed, the worst part was I was with one of my support workers on holiday and I sat on her white clean bedsheets I marked the sheets. That was embarrassing. With my urine difficulties I'm needing to use the toilet very often, my bladder feels uncomfortable until I pee, then I have it a small gush in the toilet when not wearing a nappy. I have to use the toilet every opportunity I get which has been noticed by my support workers in the group home. I made my bladder super sensitive from long binges wearing 24/7. Because I'm wetting in little gushes and dribbles when wearing nappies I don't really pay much attention and can wet in all positions, with sleeping I always wear a nappy because without a nappy on I'm up and down using the toilet all night. I just wake up and straight away first thing I do is pee and go back to sleep, its not disturbing my sleep like it used to do with having the strong urge to pee which I don't get anymore. I'm going to chuck in the towel and just go 24/7 again but differently full time this time which isn't a problem for me. I'm going to for for both wetting and messing my nappies. I'm very good at wetting straight when I feel the urge and leaving my anal sphincter unclenched when having a poo, I don't even push and and not automatically reflex clenching. I always have have a BM in the early morning so that I'm not messing in front of anybody which I'm still embarrassed about. Will this happen if I continue to abuse my body like this? And I don't want to start clenching and exercise my anal sphincter. I'm pretty good at cleaning up after a BM with dry wipes and Emollient cleaning foam, I always use disposable gloves and put my nappy in a sealable nappy bad and toss in the outside bin. I feel shame wearing nappies and doing this to my body sometimes and I know I would hate incontinence but I can't stop from doing this? I think I'm cursed wanting this because I have a horrible bing/purge cycle and in a purge don't wear nappies. Does this sound like I'm becoming IC? -
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Thanks for the comments! 🙂 🙂 Happy to give you a lunchtime treat there then! I wouldn't pity someone like that too much... they would get what they deserve. Thank you for all of the comments! I'm looking forward to sharing the next weekend of the story with you all! 🙂
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