What Is It To Be Transgender?

[Incomplete Dude]

I think this is an interesting issue. Personally, I was born a guy and will die one, but that doesn't mean I don't have a "female" side. I use quotes, because other then the obvious physical concerns, what does "female" really mean anyways? For that matter, what about "male"? It is sexual attraction, aggressiveness, empathy, clothing, concern about their peers, logic, emotion or something else?

I think this is the real question here, and imho, there is no mental feat a man or women can perform that the opposite sex isn't capable of. For example, I don't really care about clothes, so I wear male clothes only because it's socially convenient, even though I enjoy reading about women's fashion (and not for the bodies). However, does this willingness to wear or interest in women's clothes make me transgendered? I say no, since it's just clothes. Again, I love watching big construction projects, but I have a passion for interior design. Again, I can be ruthlessly logical, but deeply value honest emotional expression. Do these personality traits make me more male or female? Again, I say no, since they are just traits.

Now certainly, there is some physiological and hormonal basis that biases the characteristics to each sex, but this is not an absolute classification. There will always be blends of these. Moreover, the particular traits expressed is often highly dependant on the context, but certainly one cannot literally be a man one minute and a women the next, noting that surgery takes a lot longer then this. Overall, it seems clear to me that any judgement of sex on the basis of such traits is more perception than fact.

Personally, I know one fact: My body is male. However, to take this as a clear description of my personality is folly. Even to say that, perhaps, I am 65% male and 35% female is a crude and primitive evaluation. All in all, I feel that it is easier and far more realistic to simply accept myself as myself, rather than obsess over gender. Therefore, even if I felt was totally female (whatever that means), I would not do something as drastic as gender reassignment. At the same time, I can understand how, for some people, the desire for such a radical change is so profound that it cannot be ignored. However, I would call this a desire and nothing more. (Note that this is assuming the absence of physical gender ambiguity, which is a more direct concern.)

To be clear, I'm not saying it's wrong, just that it's not the optimal solution. Ideally, one would realize that one's thoughts and feelings are not defined by one's body, and vice versa. Therefore, the only possible need to change that body is to satisfy external social demands. In my case, I just don't feel that something as individual as this should ever be defined by the will and perception of the masses. In this way, the transgender state can only exist after one's perceptions have been set according to this standard. Moreover, surgery can only be considered when this has become so ingrained that it cannot be rectified towards a more independent self-acceptance. As a result, I can only see the existence of this drastic measure as a failure of society to accept the diversity of its members, even though such problems are inevitable in an imperfect world.

Similarly, I find the question of being transgender to be vague, subjective, unrefined, and for my purposes, almost entirely useless. I am what I am, nothing more and nothing less. Of course, that doesn't mean I won't change, or that I can't improve. Rather, it means I desire and demand that I accept who I am at any given moment, mind and body. For the time being, this is the most reasonable and emotionally satisfying conclusion for me.

[Sammi Dharma]

I would call this a desire and nothing more. (Note that this is assuming the absence of physical gender ambiguity, which is a more direct concern.)

There are currently studies being undertaken on transsexuals which may point to a difference in a brain structure known as the Bed nucleus of Stria Terminalis (BSTc), which would indicate that the brain is sexually differentiated more similar to the brain functions shown by the gender that they identify with most.

[Incomplete Dude]

Yes, and there are also studies show that the brain structure can change by thought alone. For example: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/677048.stm

Moreover, the BSTc can only be analysed by removing the person's brain. Therefore, one cannot compare it from birth to death.

To be clear, however, I am not saying that different people don't have different brain structures. What I am saying is that the mind and the genitals are very different things, so defining one by the other is irrational, and a falsehood imbued by a society in error. Of course, some will say that rationality need not apply, and I question their judgement.

[Chibiusa255]

I dunno there seems to be a lot of focus going on here about 'how hard it is', I'm not really sure that I entirely agree with that. Everybody has personal conflict and emotional hurdles to overcome in their life. I personally consider myself a lot better put together than most of the people I encounter and wouldn't trade my life for somebody else's on account of anything. I feel that being trans has given me insight to a great deal of things I would have otherwise never even questioned. The stigma is fading, it's getting more out in the open, things are looking up for T-folks as a whole, we don't need anybody's pity.

I do think that the TG community tends to focus a little on how hard it is to be transgendered and it's true that we face a certain amount of discrimination and so on. But, over all I don't think being TG a negative thing. Being TG makes us a little different from most people but, as you said, everyone has things that they have to overcome in life. Things are definitely looking up for us. Peoples opinions are slowly changing. Everything is moving in the right direction and, overall, we're doing alright.

[diapergirl85]

transgender |tranz?jend?r; trans-| (also transgendered) adjective identified with a gender other than the biological one : a transgender activist and author.

transsexual |tran(s)?sek sh o??l| noun a person born with the physical characteristics of one sex who emotionally and psychologically feels that they belong to the opposite sex. • a person who has undergone surgery and hormone treatment in order to acquire the physical characteristics of the opposite sex. adjective of or relating to such a person. DERIVATIVES transsexualism |-?liz?m| noun transsexuality |-?sek sh o??alit?| noun

Dictionary

transvestite |trans?ves?t?t; tranz-| noun a person, typically a man, who derives pleasure from dressing in clothes appropriate to the opposite sex. DERIVATIVES transvestism |-?tiz?m| noun transvestist |-tist| noun ( dated). transvestitism |-ti?tiz?m| noun ORIGIN 1920s: from German Transvestit, from Latin trans- ‘across’ + vestire ‘clothe.’

Thesaurus

transvestite noun the revue featured a hilarious transvestite with an amazing singing voice drag queen, cross-dresser, female impersonator; informal gender-bender, trannie.

I Hope that All of this helps.

[WallaWalla]

I personally don't think I could live with losing a limb, that sounds like a lot more frightening of a prospect than anything I've ever had to deal with as a transsexual. D:

[WallaWalla]

There's something about the definition of transsexual that I am uncertain of:

most of the brave people who have posted here have said that they KNOW that they are transgendered/transsexual.

Where does that leave someone who doesn't believe that they are the opposite sex but does desperately WISH they were the opposite sex?

Is the difference semantic? Or is there a substantive difference between "knowing" and "wishing"?

Ahh, so you've come to the crux of the matter. Frankly, that's not really something that's been mapped out at this point. Both parties are simply lumped into the 'transsexual' category, and typically those that do it because they just want to end up lying about it and saying they honestly believe they are....

Either way though, it really doesn't matter too much. I personally don't consider myself on the same terms more transsexual people consider themselves. As I don't think that what I'm doing is entirely about 'believing i'm the opposite sex', but rather a culmination of many contributing factors both inherent and environmental. I also don't consider my personal transition about 'becoming a girl', so much as I consider it 'expanding my boundaries of personal expression and comfort'.

[Chibiusa255]

Ahh, so you've come to the crux of the matter. Frankly, that's not really something that's been mapped out at this point. Both parties are simply lumped into the 'transsexual' category, and typically those that do it because they just want to end up lying about it and saying they honestly believe they are....

I think that if people lie a little about why they want to transition it's mostly because of the SOC. I think that there is a certain amount of dishonesty in the way a lot of people talk to their mental health providers out of fear of being rejected for treatment. I know that when I started going to mt counceller my biggest fear was the she would think that I wasn't "trans enough" to qualify. I never lied to her about anything but I can definitely see why people might. Also, I think that a lot of the community feels that if you don't have the most generic and stereotypical story that you're just a wannabe. Another reason that someone might be inclined to stretch the truth a little.

Either way though, it really doesn't matter too much. I personally don't consider myself on the same terms more transsexual people consider themselves. As I don't think that what I'm doing is entirely about 'believing i'm the opposite sex', but rather a culmination of many contributing factors both inherent and environmental. I also don't consider my personal transition about 'becoming a girl', so much as I consider it 'expanding my boundaries of personal expression and comfort'.

Beautifully said, WallaWalla.

I think that regardless of someone's reason for transition what it comes down to is expanding your boundaries of personal expression and comfort. Why we are trans, who knows. It's something that's different for everyone, i guess. But, the ultimate decision to transition is driven by the desire to be able to express yourself in your chosen gender role. In a role you would be more comfortable in. I don't think that there's any significant difference between those who wish to transition and those who feel a need to transition. The core motivation is essentially the same.

[WallaWalla]

I think that if people lie a little about why they want to transition it's mostly because of the SOC. I think that there is a certain amount of dishonesty in the way a lot of people talk to their mental health providers out of fear of being rejected for treatment. I know that when I started going to mt counceller my biggest fear was the she would think that I wasn't "trans enough" to qualify. I never lied to her about anything but I can definitely see why people might. Also, I think that a lot of the community feels that if you don't have the most generic and stereotypical story that you're just a wannabe. Another reason that someone might be inclined to stretch the truth a little.

I agree, I think it's the SOC and the 'disease model' of being TS that causes people to lie to themselves and other people. From the moment somebody begins reading about 'the criteria' they start placing themselves into the criteria, they try to draw lines where there aren't, and otherwise try to fit into a neat little generic box like you said. I think the saddest thing about it is that I've talked to so many TS people that are basically just going from one end of self repression to the other, and pretty much end up where they started in terms of not being visible as who they are. I even think that in some circumstances the SOC might actually drive people to transition who really might not otherwise have felt the need to. They're written in such a way that there's very little room left for anybody to fall in the middle, and if you want to pursue transition on any level, you feel pressured to 'go all the way'.

I'm personally really pleased that my therapist doesn't even follow them.

[DiaperKitty]

Well I thought I would put my 2 cents in on this. As I have come to understand it "transsexual" is someone who feels like they are living their life in the wrong sex for what their brain is telling them. Transgender is a more general term that refers to whole bunch of branches of transgender terms.

[seppuku]

Also, many transexuals don't feel comfortable with their genitalia, and if you're diapered, it creates a bit of a buffer, so to speak.

^that makes perfect sense.

I don't like my genitals.

I find myself feeling a bit more and more the TG from day to day. My appearance is mostly male, and I don't see that changing immediately, as much as i'd like to. I live in the "Iron Range" of Minnesota, which is a very religious/morally oppressive community. (If "morally oppressive" is even an appropriate term.) I'm growing my hair out now (as if that's even feminine in itself anymore... but it makes me feel more "pretty".) and I suppose we'll see what happens. I feel like I want to do something about it.

[baby_G_diaperlover]

hey, im glad to see eveyone posting there opinions and views on transgeneredism and transitioning. when i started this post it was alost a year go, and the main reason why i posted it was becouse i needed to know, if i was really Transgendered, its been 1 year since then and i know now that what im feeling is not going away, and what i have felt has always been there, i have been talking with a lot of TG people over this last year that this is who i am, i was born into the wrong body, i am a girl and i wanna be treated as such. i did write a autobiography and if you wanna see it please download it and check it out, i wrote it so maby people can learn a little about me to hopefuly help them selves. so onece again i want to thank everyone for posting and making this topic one of the most popular topics on the Daily diapers forms.

Thanks again

Chalsie

i would also like to thank my friend for hosting the file for me

http://codenamegamma.com/img/my%20life.doc

[Baby Rachel]

The important thing is to be happy in yourself. I finally had a term for what I was a couple of years ago, even though i had known about transexuals before. sadly the media destroyed it in my mind or i would have discovered myself earlier, and maybe done something about it earlier than now. but i do what i can, trying to get my life started. I am a woman (albeit an AB one) and that is what i need to be to be happy in myself.

For me it is the fact that every time i look in the mirror i hate what i see, the body makes me sick. Im not going to be stupid and harm or kill myself, for im not suicidal, for that wont fix anything. I just know this body isnt for me, and I have to work hard to get where i want to be.

im lucky that my parents havent disowned me for it. while they do not like it, they are supportive of me and have not questioned my decisions since i was 13. they let me make my own choices, and while they would rather see me not have to do this, they still support my for they want to see me happy.

I know i am very lucky with my small build and feminine features, but i still have much work to do. It will be tough to be an AB transexual lesbian in this world, but its what i have to do to be happy, so i will fight for my happiness.

I AM A ADULT BABY TRANSEXUAL LESBIAN AND I'M PROUD OF IT.

i feel no need to let other's dictate my life, i will be what i want to be and be proud of it, for it is my life.

that is just my view on the matter though.

[the diapered dyke]

i'll stray away from the theory on what makes a trans identity, etc etc etc, to save you all from incessant spouting of transfeminist rhetoric. i'll just say two things, i think:

"transgender" isn't a noun, it's an adjective.

and:

transsexuality is so punk rock. in the superimposed patriarchy we function in, there's nothing more radical than subverting the rock-solid gender binary.

[Baby Rachel]

I am editing my previous post because I misread you entirely. You have my deepest apologies for i spoke before i fully understood.

All I can say to you is Rock On Girl....lol

I feel so silly

[Guest Chelsea]

What is it to be Transgender? Is it a frame of mind or something more? I recently chaged from a sissy to a transexual becouse i feel i identify with women more then men. i think this is so beocuse i as a man hates everything and everyone including myself for dirving people away (i beleve that is becouse my father died when i was seven and never really got over it shuting out all forms of emotion) , but me as a woman (chalsie) dosent she is friendly and happy to help, is this normal for a trangender person to fell this way? any help would be apreciated,

Thank you, Chalsie

Your not a Transsexual, Transsexuals don't start as "sissys" id say your more like a Transvestite or something along those lines....sorry for being so blunt

[Saschadzg]

Your not a Transsexual, Transsexuals don't start as "sissys" id say your more like a Transvestite or something along those lines....sorry for being so blunt

Hi,

I know several transwomen with infantilism background, some of them post OP, including myself. Remote diagnosis is quite rude and impolite, every transgender has his/her special way. We should value every self categorizing and accept it.

Kvetinka

[rickibrat2]

What is it to be Transgender? Is it a frame of mind or something more? I recently chaged from a sissy to a transexual becouse i feel i identify with women more then men. i think this is so beocuse i as a man hates everything and everyone including myself for dirving people away (i beleve that is becouse my father died when i was seven and never really got over it shuting out all forms of emotion) , but me as a woman (chalsie) dosent she is friendly and happy to help, is this normal for a trangender person to fell this way? any help would be apreciated,

Thank you, Chalsie

it is a word is all

i have know a few over they years that were d freinds and we talked

but i think basic it is a need inside of you to be or act as the oppiste sex for a short time to the rest of your life

sissy is the same think but to less a degree

sissy's want or need to be put down to a point dressed younger dress as something different, some sissys need to be used as the opposit sex even

it all depends on the person the best thing is to find a friend that understands and talk with them

death of a parent can casue a lot of damage in your mind that dew understand

basic i think trans sex

is dressing as the other

trans gender is wanting to be the other and it is a long time feeling even as a child you felt you were in the wrong body

sissy is wanting to be controled and put down by being dress or treats as something different most need to be treated as younger then they are

many sissys were victums of bullies growning up, i think, and were unable to defend them selfs,

for some it goes back even farther as a child they were dress as girls as that is what mommy and daddy wanted till the got older

then you get in to slaves and master i think

i think more sissy go that route as they get older to get what they are looking for degradion

[Mean Mommy]

Hm, well, look at this. An ancient thread on transgender...ism. I think I shall give it a whirl.

Trannies have always scared me a bit. Because they're so touchy about how they're defined. I know it's important but I think that's silly nonetheless. People pronounce my name wrong all the time and I've learned to just deal with it. If people are going to mess up on something as simple as a name, then I wouldn't put my hopes on them instantly understanding something as complex as gender identity.

Every year I grow more certain that I'm a transgendered person. I do not have any burning desire to completely switch sides and be a man, but I am far from comfortable identifying as a woman. I'd rather be in the middle. I'm okay with the idea of being an androgynous person. Like a gay dude from japan. (Those boys get so pretty even the straight ones can resemble girls.)

It's funny cuz I'm a pretty attractive woman. I can easily score a 9 out of 10 on the days I decide to pluck my eyebrows. I know that may come of as conceited, but I'm tired of being modest about it. It's not always a blessing. In fact it gives me a lot of shit I'd rather not deal with. Especially when I feel more akin with a masculine persona than a female one, then being the epitome of femininity sort of sucks.

I also know that the few times I've tried I make a pretty convincing guy, (theres just the matter of binding these fucking C's down.) That's made me pretty happy, really happy actually. I've slowly acquired a more masculine closet, and I like it. I still have dresses and skirts but most days I can't bring myself to wear them unless I can still somehow emphasize my masculinity. In a big frilly dress I feel like I'm playing dress up, that I'm not quite in my element. Yet I feel at home in a suit.

I think my transgendered identity has a lot to do with my early childhood. I was raised by a single mother. A very feminine beautiful woman who treated me more like a companion than her child. So I sort of filled in the role she subconsciously assigned me, which happened to be the role of a man. I've always believed in nurture over nature. Although nowadays I'm not so sure. I'm too confused. Although I have a hunch that many children raised by a single parent of the same sex have issues with gender identity. There's no relationship to establish two separate genders and the child often fills in for the missing companion, thus embodying the missing gender.

I don't know. I used to be pretty girly, and always aware of my interest in more overt forms of cross-dressing. But I was so good at being a girl. I make a really good-looking girl. Did I want to go ruin all that by dressing like a guy? (<-- This is the sort of statement my mother would make, dare I tell her.) And so I've taken a stab at more male forms of dress, and I like it. But I still feel the need to go further. I wonder how far I'll need to go to satiate this desire.

Someone said something a while back about the Pacific Northwest being more accepting than the East coast. I would definitely agree. I have actually felt an uncomfortable pressure whenever I've chosen to act more like a boy than a girl. It's a lot harder to toe the line over there. There's a subvert form of coercion going on in many social situations. You have to be prepared to fight if you want to defy convention. I can't imagine what it must have been like for gay leaders and drag queens of the 60s and 70s.

[hazardouskink]

well, now! its rare to see other female-to-male trannies in any subculture, diapers included! here i thought i was the only one.

OP, i just have one thing to point out... you're taking an exceptionally biased cross-section of the sexes in your original description. not every guy is a closed off asshole and not every woman is mother teresa. take the time to explore more of the 'good' people in both boxes before you decide to make a life-changing decision just because you feel 'more like one than the other'.

you're not too young, though. i transitioned when i was 18 and dont regret it a bit. no one who hasn't slept with me (obviously) has any idea that i was born female. dont ever let anyone tell you you're too young. i would advocate, however, at least 2 years of research. i knew when i was very young that everything was wrong, so i started my process young too.

peace

[Saschadzg]

you're not too young, though. i transitioned when i was 18 and dont regret it a bit. no one who hasn't slept with me (obviously) has any idea that i was born female. dont ever let anyone tell you you're too young. i would advocate, however, at least 2 years of research. i knew when i was very young that everything was wrong, so i started my process young too.

So, you can´t get pregnant as the person in these articles:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/buzz/Pregnant_Man

[Mean Mommy]

where does gender neutrality fit into all of this?

[SS84onwards]

I had noticed for years that I didn't feel right in some odd way, after the abuse the feelings were stronger. At first I thought it was just my imagination trying to make a story or create images, but as I got older the feelings became stronger. I kept finding my body revolting and wondering why I had been male in the first place since I didn't feel male, although I had feelings for women, I kept them under control.

But I became more and more revolted with being male, I found nothing I liked about it. It wasn't until I ended up joining Second Life and decided to be a female in it, because I was curious, that I realised that I felt more at ease with that, especailly when I learned how to role play and started being more in character. It was like waking up from a long sleep, I felt completely at peace with being female in this virtual world and whenever I logged off, the real life issue of being male would hit.

I always have felt more female inside than male, though it's hard to define it. And over the last year the feeling that I'm not the gender I should have been born as has been hitting a lot harder.

I did some research and talked with a lot of trans-gender men and women and explained the feelings, it turns out that I am trans-gender. I had just spent to many years denying it because I didn't understand the feelings, in the last few months since coming to terms with it I've become more content and at peace with myself, more prone to smiling and laughing than I used to.

I tihnk my mum suspects that I don't feel happy with my born gender and I can't get the op - 1) because I would love to be a parent one day 2) I'm worried that I might hurt my parent's feelings and 3) I'm worried about scarring. But the people I've talked to who have had the same feelings before they had the op have all told me the same thing: Get the op when you're ready to.

I'm still going over the options: personal happiness or my parent's happiness. They did raise me after all and I woould hate to end up hurting their feelings by turning round and saying that I hate being male and have never felt male. Plus there's been the attacks I've been getting now that I've finally opened up about my feelings, had one order me to 'stop pretending to be a woman' while another attacked me for my differences.

But I'm finally happy with who I am in my heart, now I just need to try and choose what's more important in my life. And somehow, if I can, maybe get the op if I can find a way to afford it.

Well one step at a time I guess.

[Diaper666]

where does gender neutrality fit into all of this?

its the whole conversation and something ive wondered on this is are the transgendered also considered "Shemales"

this issue has always bothered me some

[baby-tommy]

yes its perfectly normal transgendered people usuly find that they have almost a different personality that matches there true gender