Question To All

[Philosophical6]

I've been wondering, from what I've heard why is it that diapers tend to attract men more than women? I've also heard some women select their gender as male because this is predominantly a male oriented fetish, they don't want to get rattled with all these guys trying to be their partner, or what ever. I don't want this question to be mean or offensive in any way, I'm just wondering why this is the case. Thanks

[diaperpt]

I've been wondering, from what I've heard why is it that diapers tend to attract men more than women? I've also heard some women select their gender as male because this is predominantly a male oriented fetish, they don't want to get rattled with all these guys trying to be their partner, or what ever. I don't want this question to be mean or offensive in any way, I'm just wondering why this is the case. Thanks

only thing that comes to mind is more questions...why do I like Attends diapers but prefer cloth...why do I like Old Grandad but not scotch...why have I turned from drinking Bud to Bass...

also, why if diapers tend to attract men more than women, do so many of us men who are attracted to diapers want to be sissies?? Isn't that a little bit of paradox there??

Interesting questions, but don't get too Philosophical about them, Philosophical!

[Saladin1976]

I personally think that one big element of the attraction is a deep need for the feeling of being protected/cherished/pampered/taken care of. I think that, in general, boys are often denied this at an early age... their fathers want to 'make a man out of them' and blah blah blah, and I theorize that the compulsion to get back to being diapered is sort of a deep-seated reaction, the brain's way of saying, 'hey, I wasn't quite done, there.'

Girls, OTOH, aren't nearly so rushed by their parents to give up being taken care of. So I think more of them may make it naturally past that stage.

Being a DL rather than an AB, myself, and having never really felt a need to actively 'be babied', I wasn't entirely ready to buy that until more recently, but I have noticed that, even though I've thought of diapers as being sexual for me since puberty, pretty much, I can't deny that they give me a sort of indefinable feeling of comfort. I'm guessing that at some later stage, the feelings of comfort got tied into the sex aspect both because I was more comfortable feeling sexual when my other needs/feelings were taken care of, and then I also think the 'wow, this is sort of naughty/forbidden' angle played into it, too.

---

One other gender item folks have mentioned in the past: unlike boys, girls are used to not being able to control the flow of certain fluids from their body, and being made to wear protective items to catch them. Most women have had to wear pads or tampons since their very early teens or before, so the idea may have a little less romantic novelty to them. :?

[Baby D]

Well, here's my take on this. I can obviously see that guys greatly outnumber girls here on this website, but in all reality, I think that it's pretty equal. I think that guys just become more fixated on their wants and therefore go searching. (thus finding sites such as this one...) Most girls on the other hand just tend to shake off the feeling because it's "weird". Most women are too concerned with the whole "image" thing to give into any desires like the ones you find here.

That's just my take on it.

-Baby D

[D_Rainger]

It is common knowledge that more males than females are AB/DL. I wonder if it isn't something physiological? At some point there is transference of physical sensation to sexual sensation. Suppose it is because a male's sexual organs are more prominent than a female's? Suppose that as a little boy is changed, his genital area is cleaned, wiped, and perhaps powdered. This would involve some necessary manipulation of his sexual organ. In little girls, this would not be as pronounced because of her anatomy. It is not uncommon for very little boys to get an erection as they are being changed. It is not a big leap to suppose that as they get older, memory serves to reinforce the sensations they had when being changed transfering it over to their newfound sexual awareness, forming a bond between diapers (or being changed) and sexual feeling. It seems reasonable that little girls would not form this bond as often.

-D R

[runaway]

...Suppose that as a little boy is changed, his genital area is cleaned, wiped, and perhaps powdered. This would involve some necessary manipulation of his sexual organ. In little girls, this would not be as pronounced because of her anatomy. ...

Just a small anatomy lesson for you in case you were interested … the inside of a female’s vagina only has sensation of pressure (sense of being filled) …and although pressure can be very very nice … the greatest sexual feelings happen on the outside of the cave where most of the sensitive nerve endings are concentrated. And yes, females do have erections as well, you just have ta know where ta look and be aware that it needs attention too. You will find this information very useful the next time you are involved with a woman… so you’re welcome (in advance).

[pax87]

....so you're welcome (in advance).

ur too funny peekie....

[DollyDiaper]

@ Ms one-away. And they say they landed a man on the moon!

Maybe we need to free-issue some of these -

And as for that old chestnut about 'women menstruate and wear pads, so they've got little inclination/interest in wearing diapers.'

Saladin, you said yourself this issue has been raised many times here, thus far, you're correct. But didn't you take time to listen to the women here who posted in those threads and unanimously disagreed with that male assumption?

Are our (women's) posts on that issue invisible???

D lly

[Codymoogle]

My thoughts on the subject is that the male to female ratio might be incredibly disproportinate on ABDL sites because from observation and experience (as I am a woman, myself) is that sometimes we women get so sick of dealing with HNG's (horny net geeks, aka people who want cybersex and all sorts of icky stuff) that some just won't go on sites like these. My suspicion is that there may very well be more ABDL girls out there than most think.

Just my two cents (and I hope I made sense in this post, I've been up a while and I'm sleepy)

~ Moogles

[diapermommie]

I'm a girl. Yes I really am, I'm not a pretend girl. Honestly I can think of more girls I know in real life that would have ABDL tendencies moreso than men. In large part because there are just certain things girls can talk about that guys I'm sure don't. Wanting to be taken care of comes naturally to girls, and we're not nearly as afraid to ask for it as men are. However I do think that whoever mentioned that there MAY be more men than women that are ABDLs because men aren't as likely to have had their baby needs met.

When they are little I don't think the "you're a man, deal with it" thing comes up nearly as much as when the kid is say 7+, I mean it's not like dads tell their 2 year old kids that. But I do think that parents of boys, in general, are less likely to be lovey dovey and really affectionate with boys than with girls. Now with some boys that works just fine. But I think boys who generally have more needs that involve affection, and later intimacy, don't get those needs met when they are younger. I just think it ends up being a combo of certain boys when they are little with certain parenting styles. It happens to girls too, but I think it's just a bit less frequent. So that, in combination with girls who are ABDL not wanting to come out to avoid harrassment explains a good deal of it. Not everything of course, there are too many variations.

Myself, my parents are affectionate and loving, however I was basically told "you're going to have a little sister now, she's going to be the baby and you're going to be the big girl" I was just turned 3 when she was born, and I so did NOT want to be the big girl. lol

My younger son, he's 5 and doesn't want to grow up at all. If he's tired, sick or just not feeling happy, he'll go get a bottle and use it. I keep a couple around for him. He doesn't use them at preschool or meals, just when he feels he needs them, and I'm fine with that. I'm not going to tell him he's a baby for wanting a bottle when he's sick or stressed, cuz, well, that's what I do.

So, I think it does, for some people, have something to do with having their childhood cut short before they were ready, or just having parents that couldn't provide for their kids type of needs. If you read the Five Love Languages book, it'll give you more insight into that.

[phogendpf]

This thread is right on the money. Everything that I wanted to say has already been said. I wish girls were more vocal on the whole diaper thing. If I was a girl instead of wearing a "pad" I would just wear a diaper and I dont think any other girls would think twice about it (thats if they even found out).

[Saladin1976]

And as for that old chestnut about 'women menstruate and wear pads, so they've got little inclination/interest in wearing diapers.'

Saladin, you said yourself this issue has been raised many times here, thus far, you're correct. But didn't you take time to listen to the women here who posted in those threads and unanimously disagreed with that male assumption?

Are our (women's) posts on that issue invisible???

D lly

Well. That was maybe a little more abusive than it needed to be, wasn't it? But okay, mea culpa, I wasn't trying to make anyone mad. To be honest, tho, I'm not sure about the 'unanimously' part, since a female member first told me that theory in a PM years ago on a different board (and she agreed with it, theorizing that women who became ABDLs maybe followed a somewhat different psychological path than most women), but hey, maybe she was an outlier. I don't know if she has a SN on this board, but maybe if she does, she'll speak up and y'all can debate that one, eh?

Again, mea culpa, please stop hitting me.

[DollyDiaper]

Well. That was maybe a little more abusive than it needed to be, wasn't it? But okay, mea culpa, I wasn't trying to make anyone mad. To be honest, tho, I'm not sure about the 'unanimously' part, since a female member first told me that theory in a PM years ago on a different board (and she agreed with it, theorizing that women who became ABDLs maybe followed a somewhat different psychological path than most women), but hey, maybe she was an outlier. I don't know if she has a SN on this board, but maybe if she does, she'll speak up and y'all can debate that one, eh?

Again, mea culpa, please stop hitting me.

Abusive? How could my post possibly be interpreted as abusive?

And as for your "..y'all can debate that one,eh?" As I pointed out, it's been debated ad infinitum but some guys don't seem to listen to the input from the women here with first-hand experience of this issue.

I used the word "unanimously" with regard to those of us who've contributed to these debates.

Dolly

[samus]

And as for your "..y'all can debate that one,eh?" As I pointed out, it's been debated ad infinitum but some guys don't seem to listen to the input from the women here with first-hand experience of this issue.

To be fair, we're talking about all the girls that are too shy to post on this board, not the ones that do!

[DollyDiaper]

To be fair, we're talking about all the girls that are too shy to post on this board, not the ones that do!

So it looks like a lose-lose situation for women on these boards, going by what you've just said.

Obviously those women who are "too shy to post on this board" don't get their voices heard, and those who do, don't appear to be heard either by some of the men here. (a minority of the men here. I stress)

That's all right then!

D lly

[Pipsqueak]

To be fair, we're talking about all the girls that are too shy to post on this board, not the ones that do!

Isn't that sort of a waste of time? I mean, if they're too shy to post on the board you will NEVER know what they think or how they feel, so all you are doing then is speculating on their thoughts. None of us are mind-readers. We can't know other's thoughts unless they state them so what is the point of speculation? There are lots of women on this board who are more than happy to give you their perspective on these issues, so why ignore that in favour of making up what you think these invisible women are thinking?

[drgdl]

I think there are a lot of female AB/DLs out there, but there are a few things which make

them more apt to be "silent"....

-They feel more "shame" about them wanting to be an AB or DL, and talking with others

about it.

-They like having something which is an "exclusive secret" Some of them simply don't

want to share their love for diapers with someone else.

-Many of them lead "double lives". The sexy new office manager down the hall at work might

curl up with a diaper and teddy bear every night, but they might still be "normal" otherwise, date

men they consider attractive, etc.

-When they do get on the net, they end up being the minority, and they often get pummeled with

requests to meet or chat or whatever, and it just creeps them out. I can't say that I blame

them. (I agree with what mooglelove said about this) Further, a lot of them that come online

are already in a relationship, are someone's "slave" or whatever. Which brings about another

point- SOME females who are AB/DL want someone, preferably a non-diaper wearer, to "dominate"

them, either in S/M fashion or something lighter than that, eg, mommy, daddy, etc. Most of them

don't want to meet another AB/DL, maybe it just doesn't do anything for them; if you think about it

it kinda makes sense.... although I am SURE there are a lot of AB/DL couples out there that understand

each other and that is enough, but some want more.

-This is just a guess, but I think a lot of them may trend to being more "casual" in this lifestyle

than "hard core" and they might actually just get creeped out by those more involved, even if it is a

little hypocritical- eg, the girl that wears a diaper and might pee in it once in awhile might get grossed

out by a guy that wears and uses diapers 24/7.. There might also be a divide between AB/DL

segments, etc.

-WRT the above, I think the lifestyle means different things to different people- and the feelings that

females derive may be entirely different than males. Granted this is true even within genders but

there may be elements that females and males more commonly prefer, etc.

I may be off base with some of this stuff, but it's based on what I've seen, having been in different

boards, chat rooms, etc. I've also talked to a few real female DL's here and there, too.

[spikedlemon]

Obviously those women who are "too shy to post on this board" don't get their voices heard, and those who do, don't appear to be heard either by some of the men here. (a minority of the men here. I stress)

What?

(couldn't resist)

[diapermommie]

I don't think girls feel more shame about it. Men have much more of a tendency to worry about being macho and masculine and such. The last thing alot of men are willing to admit is that they want someone to take care of them, that they want to need someone else. Usually it's the opposite, they are the ones who are needed, who have to be the rock in the relationship etc. Girls, in general are just more used to asking for what we need, and we don't have issue saying we need help, or need someone. Not so much as men...generally speaking of course.

Not to mention, I think it's easier for most girls to walk into Babies R us and buy a bottle, paci, and blankie, or go buy diapers without feeling really weird about it. It's just seen as more "acceptable" for women to do those kinds of things.

Just as a small example, I could tell my boyfriend, and everyone else I know, how much I need him and how much I'm glad I can snuggle with him at night etc etc etc. Do you think he talks to his friends and says things like that? LOL god no. And I'm pretty sure he feels a little bit uncomfortable buying bottles at Baby Depot. Myself, not at all. Girls being "needy" is just more normal. Not to mention I know alot of men who have fantasies about being called daddy in bed, and who have their wives etc dress in like a carebear shirt and pigtails. They won't go any farther than that, but they certainly see nothing wrong with it. Try reversing that and see how many men will say they call their wives mommy in bed. Just not quite the same.

[Frink]

I'm also of the opinion that the actual numbers of ab/dls is about the same on either side of the gender gap. However, I'll lay good money on a lot of women either lurking or simply not reading forums like these due to the prevalence of scary perverts such as myself.

[Mean Mommy]

mmm... i loved being called "mommy" in bed.

i too have a theory about the lack of girlies! Wait no, I lost it.

hm. There is something i'd like to say as a lady though (so i will put away the strap-on for this one). Ladies, women and girlies, in my experience, are just as sick and twisted as you gents. There may be many a lady confused about how to achieve a multiple orgasm (fuck, it's confusing), but damned if we won't try our hardest to find out.

I can assure you, women are pervs. There may not be a lot on here, but it's not because they're too "shy" or "modest". I mean, you're not meant to be on here, Mr. Manly Man, and you are. The reason is NOT because females are complacent in their sexual ignorance, or are less sexually charged than men.

Shit, I personally think a submissive female is gonna be WAY more successful than a submissive male in love and sex. Many (submissive) ladies are probably busy having too much good sex with their daddies and mommies to be writing about it on a website. (Isn't that a huge reason why you orphans are here?) They're lucky society reinforces their sexual preferences - why would they need a website to hook them up?

[elaine]

Hi all I only really wanted to be nappied as much as possible in the last year or so . It was about this time last year when whilst I was out with paddi that Ihad bad stomach cramps & messed myself, although I have wet a nappy on odd occassions, that messy accident last year was the turning point, I am now rarely out of nappies I still feel a little humiliated having my nappy changed by my hubby.