Introducing myself…

[catscradle]

I’ve gone over and over whether to join here. I’m honestly still not 100% whether this is the place for me. But, I read around a lot and most folks here seem super supportive, so here goes…

I’m not into the diaper thing (sorry), and I don’t really think I’m AB either. Honestly, I can’t keep up with the acronyms but I think it’s awesome there are so many to help people share who they are. I maybe AB, but I really don’t know. I’ve never spoken to anyone about what I feel mainly because I don’t understand it. I don’t know what group I fit into yet, nor which acronym I would identify with, if any at all. Nonetheless, from reading around I don’t think I’m alone. I’m hoping being here might help with that. Here’s what I do know…

I’m female and straight. One long-lasting and probably to anyone else totally-nothing childhood experience has proven, to my surprise, really big in my adult life. My parents bought a minivan from a family we knew well. I remember I was going into middle school when we got it. Being the youngest of three, I always had to sit in the middle seat. It didn’t have a full seat belt and the family who owned it before had this special harness put in. I hated having to wear it which I had to well into high school when we got another car.

I didn’t think about it again until I began going in my friend’s cars. I always felt scared going anywhere with any of them, but in a sort very irrational way. I felt like I was doing something wrong or irresponsible, even though I knew I wasn’t. At first, I dismissed it. I blamed my anxiety on them having only just got their licenses. As I got older, my feelings just got more intense. It didn’t matter what car I was in, nor who was driving. I just found myself wanting every car ride to feel like it did when we had that minivan - to be in the middle seat wearing that special harness.

None of this probably makes any sense. It doesn’t really make sense to me. I hated the harness then, I hated being between my older brothers, and I especially hated the longer trips we would make for vacations and other special trips. Why I long for it now, I have no idea. I only know that I do.

I get this thread is for introductions, so I won’t say more here. I don’t know what the right discussion forum would be to explain in more detail because I don’t know what this means or where I fit in. Anyway, thanks for the forum. It seems like a cool space and I hope this all makes some sense to some body here.

[Little Sam]

Possibly you just find tight restraint to be comforting? That's not super unusual. I know that I relax more when I'm bound, to the point where it almost feels like I can actually breathe properly for the first time in however long. Straight jackets can have a calming effect, and weighted blankets are a fairly common tool for treating anxiety, and something a lot of people on the autism spectrum find useful.

Maybe it's related to age regression, if you're here then I guess you suspect that. Also, there might be more than one thing, plenty of us have plenty of kinks, and they aren't always obviously related or share a common, apparent cause.

Either way, welcome, I wish you luck on your journey of self discover.

[AbabeBill]

Hi and welcome to DD. Glad to have you join us. No worries, come in, make yourself comfy. You can, you know. This is a great site, and there are lots of good people. It’s not always just diapers, many of us have different likes, and things that are of interest. Some relate, some not so much. There are people, who enjoy/explore like what you describe. Things like car seats, special harnesses associated with them, being strapped in, etc. Some, trace these things, and feelings back to childhood experiences, good and bad. Sometimes it’s difficult, to understand them, and that’s what brings us here, and to other sites. Myself for example, I like diapers and many things related to them. I also, have an interest in (adult) baby harnesses. The kind used to keep young children safe, or from running off, getting lost. Way back, they were also used to secure children, safely into strollers and carriages, before they came with built in harnesses, or belts. In my younger days, I wore such a harness. So now, I have an attraction to them. 
So, I hope you can be here, find something for yourself, and maybe make some friends. Don’t be afraid to ask questions either. I always say, relax, have fun, and enjoy! Do what makes you feel good, and happy! Hope to see you around. 

[catscradle]

17 hours ago, Little Sam said:

Possibly you just find tight restraint to be comforting? That's not super unusual. I know that I relax more when I'm bound, to the point where it almost feels like I can actually breathe properly for the first time in however long. Straight jackets can have a calming effect, and weighted blankets are a fairly common tool for treating anxiety, and something a lot of people on the autism spectrum find useful.

Maybe it's related to age regression, if you're here then I guess you suspect that. Also, there might be more than one thing, plenty of us have plenty of kinks, and they aren't always obviously related or share a common, apparent cause.

Either way, welcome, I wish you luck on your journey of self discover.

Thanks so much.

That's possible, but I wouldn't say I have any desire outside of repeating the experience I had. I've read that some like straitjackets and things like that, but that's not me. I guess weighted blankets would be sort-of similar but I don't know. I haven't thought about such a thing, so I won't dismiss it, but I think it wouldn't really come that close to the experience I long for.

I think age regression is a big part of it. I never thought about it in such terms, but I guess none of us really want to grow up anyway! It's not a kinky thing at all and that's partly why I thought a lot about joining. It's more just wanting that feeling back - not just the harness but the general situation.

 

11 hours ago, AbabeBill said:

Hi and welcome to DD. Glad to have you join us. No worries, come in, make yourself comfy. You can, you know. This is a great site, and there are lots of good people. It’s not always just diapers, many of us have different likes, and things that are of interest. Some relate, some not so much. There are people, who enjoy/explore like what you describe. Things like car seats, special harnesses associated with them, being strapped in, etc. Some, trace these things, and feelings back to childhood experiences, good and bad. Sometimes it’s difficult, to understand them, and that’s what brings us here, and to other sites. Myself for example, I like diapers and many things related to them. I also, have an interest in (adult) baby harnesses. The kind used to keep young children safe, or from running off, getting lost. Way back, they were also used to secure children, safely into strollers and carriages, before they came with built in harnesses, or belts. In my younger days, I wore such a harness. So now, I have an attraction to them. 
So, I hope you can be here, find something for yourself, and maybe make some friends. Don’t be afraid to ask questions either. I always say, relax, have fun, and enjoy! Do what makes you feel good, and happy! Hope to see you around. 

Thanks so much.

I figured it might make more sense to others here than it does for me right now. It's definitely difficult to understand. There's no way I would call it a "bad" childhood experience in the sense of any trauma. It was nothing like that. It was more the frustration of it, being different from my brothers, and the physical feeling of having to wear it.

This seems like a really cool space here and I hope making a separate post about it will help me understand it all. Thanks!

[Little Sam]

6 minutes ago, catscradle said:

I think age regression is a big part of it. I never thought about it in such terms, but I guess none of us really want to grow up anyway! It's not a kinky thing at all and that's partly why I thought a lot about joining. It's more just wanting that feeling back - not just the harness but the general situation.

It's kinda a weird normative bias when you think about it, that anything "weird" that you're into, anything that would be considered a kink, has to be about sex, so much so that people won't believe you when you vehemently insist that it isn't. Mind you, for a lot of people there seems to be literally nothing more important in life, even when people want money and power it seems to only be to make themselves more attractive. I've never understood it.

Harnesses are nice. I like being kept on a leash, it makes me feel safe and wanted, it isn't remotely sexual.

And hey, if you can strap yourself into a car seat and feel happy, then I mean, congratulations on finding anything at all that can make you happy, cos that's a feat. It's also cheaper than therapy, and safer than drugs, booze, or even casual sex.

[tigercub59]

Welcome

[Three Rivers]

Welcome, explore the boards and see what you think.

[Babyqtboy]

Sounds like an emotional security thing to me, which is obviously a huge part of age regression. For most of us, but not all, it’s diapers, bottles, pacifiers, onesies, and or footed pajamas that give us that sense of security from the past. It’s okay if that’s not your thing, there are a lot of age players/regressors who identify as middles. My advice is don’t stress it too much, explore and take the time to figure out who you are and what you are looking for. Oh, and welcome to DD 🥰