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I have been 24/7 for a while now. Three months to be exact. I made another post that I dumped all my feelings into. This one is just gonna be more of a log in general. 

A little over 3 months going complete 247 urinary diaper dependant.

2 HUGE changes I've noticed. I seem to be on a pretty good changing schedule now, I really hate changing in public restrooms so I tend to avoid it. It is not really a big deal breaker thou since my diapers usually last several hours at a time. I was having issue dragging my diaper bad around then I realized it was so much easier to leave it in the car till I needed it. Most my friends know that I wear. I told them I was incontinent, witch is not too far from the truth, they just don't know the full story. 

 

The big thing I noticed is that I just don't pay attention anymore and let things happen. It feels so freeing. The other big difference was today (7/19/23) I was visiting a new friend and I got a powerful urge to pee super suddenly out of the blue. Before I even had a chance to respond I just started peeing. I took a small break outside and had a think. I realized that was the first time I actively even felt the need to pee in a while. I believe that it was last mental block I broke. I was on her couch just talking and also totally peeing myself right in front of her, sitting on her nice couch and no one could even tell. That think I did really dawned on me that I really blew this out of proportion. I RARELY leak and anyone that is worth a dam wouldn't even care anyway. In the end I feel a lot more relaxed and free. 

Only started cause I was tired of having to pee every half hour and hate public restrooms. Pretty happy with my progress.

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4 minutes ago, Diaper Duck said:

I don't blame you, I hate public restrooms, I hate the toilet and using it every few hours! I am starting myself tomorrow and congrats on your progress!

Thanks, I had mild to moderate overactive bladder. It is just so nice to not have to stress. I love realizing that I have been wetting without concious control. I love finding my diaper wet randomly. Most of all I am so relieved that I don't have to worry about that crappy pressure down there. I always hated it since it never seemed to disapate. So much more at peace. Just tingles a little randomly and I don't give a crap. I'm confident my pants can take as much pee I can feasibly unleash. It is super freeing not being tied to a toilet and being able to change when it is most convenient for me.

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On 7/20/2023 at 1:43 AM, prideful said:

Thanks, I had mild to moderate overactive bladder. It is just so nice to not have to stress. I love realizing that I have been wetting without concious control. I love finding my diaper wet randomly. Most of all I am so relieved that I don't have to worry about that crappy pressure down there. I always hated it since it never seemed to disapate. So much more at peace. Just tingles a little randomly and I don't give a crap. I'm confident my pants can take as much pee I can feasibly unleash. It is super freeing not being tied to a toilet and being able to change when it is most convenient for me.

You might enjoy a quicker progress than me and others here. In that case, good luck!

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On 7/27/2023 at 8:28 PM, Hannah YMS said:

You might enjoy a quicker progress than me and others here. In that case, good luck!

I think I will and to test how far I've come 2 nights ago I slept without a diaper. I needed to air out my "area" so I thought I would test myself. I fell asleep and woke up in pain. I instinctively used the toilet and all I could think when I woke up fully was how I should have just let go and fell back asleep. Now I am feeling that horrible urge again. I am still wetting the bed wearing a diaper but the last 2 nights I woke up only slightly wet and still had to go so I just let go. I do have to admit that I probably back tracked a little witch is so disappointing but, i am quickly gaining progress again. In the end I am just a little disappointed in myself. I don't know why but I just truly hate the feeling of needing to pee. Does anyone here get that feeling?

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With  e the feeling of needing to pee comes and goes. Often the first I know is the warmth spreading through my nappy. At night I rarely wake and pre heavily in my sleep. Occasionally I sort of wake with the need to pee but within seconds my bladder is emptying and I drift back to sleep. When I wake in the morning Usually my bladder is empty and I am soaking wet but sometimes I wake and just let it flow.

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On 7/30/2023 at 2:20 PM, prideful said:

I think I will and to test how far I've come 2 nights ago I slept without a diaper. I needed to air out my "area" so I thought I would test myself. I fell asleep and woke up in pain. I instinctively used the toilet and all I could think when I woke up fully was how I should have just let go and fell back asleep. Now I am feeling that horrible urge again. I am still wetting the bed wearing a diaper but the last 2 nights I woke up only slightly wet and still had to go so I just let go. I do have to admit that I probably back tracked a little witch is so disappointing but, i am quickly gaining progress again. In the end I am just a little disappointed in myself. I don't know why but I just truly hate the feeling of needing to pee. Does anyone here get that feeling?

I absolutely hate the feeling of needing to pee. On the flip side, the relief of peeing is also satisfying at times.

Don't make the same mistake I did. After wearing 24/7 for almost 2 years now I've become so accustomed to be protected all the time that on the few occasions that I go without a diaper (either overnight or a few hours during the day at max) I have woken up peeing my bed thinking I was diapered when I actually wasn't. I got a little tipsy one night and while not diapered I randomly had to pee and just let go because, again, I was used to be protected all the time.

In other words, at a certain point in the untraining process, it's not a good idea to ever go without a diaper if for no other reason than the one-off "intentional" accident that you didn't actually mean to have because your baseline is "I'm protected, so let it go" and bam, you've just accidentally "intentionally" wet your pants or bed. I've made this mistake more than once and now I just don't make the mistake of "airing out" without at least a chux pad or other protector (on my office chair, in my bed, etc.).

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8 hours ago, Hannah YMS said:

I absolutely hate the feeling of needing to pee. On the flip side, the relief of peeing is also satisfying at times.

Don't make the same mistake I did. After wearing 24/7 for almost 2 years now I've become so accustomed to be protected all the time that on the few occasions that I go without a diaper (either overnight or a few hours during the day at max) I have woken up peeing my bed thinking I was diapered when I actually wasn't. I got a little tipsy one night and while not diapered I randomly had to pee and just let go because, again, I was used to be protected all the time.

In other words, at a certain point in the untraining process, it's not a good idea to ever go without a diaper if for no other reason than the one-off "intentional" accident that you didn't actually mean to have because your baseline is "I'm protected, so let it go" and bam, you've just accidentally "intentionally" wet your pants or bed. I've made this mistake more than once and now I just don't make the mistake of "airing out" without at least a chux pad or other protector (on my office chair, in my bed, etc.).

I grazed over this comment. I have a good response. I have gone 24/7 just for the sheer fact I "NEVER" want to feel the need to pee again. I just want it to leave my body without any thought or control on my part. IDK why, maybe because of how painful my urgency became at one point that I instinctively flinch when I feel it coming. The point stands that if i even feel the urge to pee I will instantly get a little growchy. I might just be a freak but feeling anything in my nether region other than tingling/numbness/warmth makes me so on edge. Nowdays i usually only feel it in the car. It has gotten better, due to me changing the seat settings but i still have that feeling now and again. sometimes once i get one good wetting in it fades. it is still irritating though.

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3 minutes ago, prideful said:

I grazed over this comment. I have a good response. I have gone 24/7 just for the sheer fact I "NEVER" want to feel the need to pee again. I just want it to leave my body without any thought or control on my part. IDK why, maybe because of how painful my urgency became at one point that I instinctively flinch when I feel it coming. The point stands that if i even feel the urge to pee I will instantly get a little growchy. I might just be a freak but feeling anything in my nether region other than tingling/numbness/warmth makes me so on edge. Nowdays i usually only feel it in the car. It has gotten better, due to me changing the seat settings but i still have that feeling now and again. sometimes once i get one good wetting in it fades. it is still irritating though.

Part of my issue is that 9 times out of 10 I won't feel my bladder fill up until I get this dull discomfort in my bladder. Then a lot of the time I can't relax enough to "go". Sometimes it's only when my bladder pushes hard do I start to pee. Either that or it takes minutes of zen-like mental fortitude to pee on command, so I normally pee by flooding. I've not yet acquired frequent small voids and leaking. The dull bladder pain just gets on my nerves.

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1 minute ago, Hannah YMS said:

Part of my issue is that 9 times out of 10 I won't feel my bladder fill up until I get this dull discomfort in my bladder. Then a lot of the time I can't relax enough to "go". Sometimes it's only when my bladder pushes hard do I start to pee. Either that or it takes minutes of zen-like mental fortitude to pee on command, so I normally pee by flooding. I've not yet acquired frequent small voids and leaking. The dull bladder pain just gets on my nerves.

Nice to see I am not alone on the hatred for that feeling. NGL feeling a dull ache and not being able to let go is my worst nightmare. I drip and dribble with the occastional flood. You should try using a relaxant. ease off on excessive caffine. For a couple hours a day i suggest, sit on the toilet seat with just a diaper on and focus on very deep breathing at first then work your way towards noticing and controlling your bladder like a kegal but opposite. Breathing is key for how i feel i have done so well. Also side bonus is i seem to be a lot more calm and relaxed in general. I also read to never force it out. just let things take thier course naturally. Even if it hurts.

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1 hour ago, prideful said:

Nice to see I am not alone on the hatred for that feeling. NGL feeling a dull ache and not being able to let go is my worst nightmare. I drip and dribble with the occastional flood. You should try using a relaxant. ease off on excessive caffine. For a couple hours a day i suggest, sit on the toilet seat with just a diaper on and focus on very deep breathing at first then work your way towards noticing and controlling your bladder like a kegal but opposite. Breathing is key for how i feel i have done so well. Also side bonus is i seem to be a lot more calm and relaxed in general. I also read to never force it out. just let things take thier course naturally. Even if it hurts.

Same! I agree, it's not a lot of fun.

What relaxant would you recommend? I've never researched it. Re: caffeine, ya got me.

I am not sure I need a toilet to do meditative breathing in terms of peeing. When I feel pressure, what I usually do is try to relax and breathe out about 70% and hold it, and that usually gets things into gear. If I'm unsuccessful at that, I usually need to lay down on my back or stand up and let gravity do some work. In my younger years I'd get bladder flutters and it was easier to just go. Maybe a prostate problem? Hmm... I did just turn 40, lol.

Right now my wife and I are experimenting on stent designs used to serve two purposes: to keep the bladder relaxed at all times, and of course, simulated incontinence. That's the future tho.

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I

28 minutes ago, Hannah YMS said:

Same! I agree, it's not a lot of fun.

What relaxant would you recommend? I've never researched it. Re: caffeine, ya got me.

I am not sure I need a toilet to do meditative breathing in terms of peeing. When I feel pressure, what I usually do is try to relax and breathe out about 70% and hold it, and that usually gets things into gear. If I'm unsuccessful at that, I usually need to lay down on my back or stand up and let gravity do some work. In my younger years I'd get bladder flutters and it was easier to just go. Maybe a prostate problem? Hmm... I did just turn 40, lol.

Right now my wife and I are experimenting on stent designs used to serve two purposes: to keep the bladder relaxed at all times, and of course, simulated incontinence. That's the future tho.

I drink one cup of coffee in the morning and i have been cutting back because it makes my urges worse. I take a perscription for a POWERFUL diuretic so i constantly have a drain going lol. Also indica marijuana helps me relax and i seem to pee a lot more unintentionally. (probably because I care less) I

I would consider getting a check up, my doctor doesn't know i wear diapers but he did perscribe me the dirretic to ease the pain.

When i was hospitalised as a teen I had a cath in for almost a year. Needless to say I am not a fan of them. (probably why i have a lot of issues with my continence).

Best of luck to you thou.

 

 

EDIT: Grammar and fixed something that sounded meaner than i meant.

Edited by prideful
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I feel like it is time to make an update. The past week has been really interesting. I am starting to believe my quick progress has been highly atributed to the fact that I was probably a little incontinent already. Not only that but i was thinking about how much 247 I was doing before the 3 month mark I stated earlier. I went on a 3 mo stint before that bit took a break and can't remember when, but I have been wearing when I leave the house for a real long time. Maybe a few years? Slowly I think I transitioned to 24/7 as a natural side effect. I didn't 247 all at once, but started wearing more as it became more convenient. I keep hitting these "mile stones" alarmingly fast and the date I have marked is really starting to feel like the day I just gave in. At first it was a genuine desire, now more like a necessity.

This morning I woke up soaked. I had worn a diaper with a booster to bed and I woke up fairly early soaked head to toe. I was still really sleepy and had a very slight urge to pee, so I did, then went back to sleep. I woke up a few hours later with another weird urge to pee, so I did and went back to sleep for another hour-ish. Something was different this time though. The urge wasnt harsh and a bit painful like before. It was a mild discomfort at best and it was all too easy to get the flow going again. It was cold and uncomfortable. But I just felt tired and didn't want to move for something so stupid. 😕 I have to say I have mixed feelings. I feel super grossed out. But I also feel relieved that I don't really have to bother myself with waking up constantly. 

Last few days, since my last update I have mostly slept through the night. I seem to be waking up when I leak witch I am not a fan of. But at this point I would MUCH rather just sleep through it and wake up when I am ready to deal with it. I already was prone to not sleeping well and bedwetting has helped tremendously. 

Now I just wanted to say something a little embarrassing and a lot weird. I was kinda impressed after my trip to Phoenix how well my diaper held up. I did the maths and it lasted 6 or 7 hours. Then I got it in my mind that I wanted to see how long I "could" make a diaper with booster last. I was hyper focused almost all day on staying relaxed. A notable thing was after my morning change I left for work a little early, since I had a later shift. So I stopped at my favorite coffee shop. I ran into a broista that frequently takes my order. He hadn't started working yet so we got to talking. I am not usually a talker but we really hit it off. Halfway through talking with him I felt a light tingling sensation and warmth out of nowhere. It was only slight but enough to give me a little pause lol. Now for the embarrassing part. After I got home around 7. My diaper was fine. So I went to play video games with a friend online. Couple game before I left my diaper started leaking and I stopped my watch at 8 hours and 34 min. Personal best but just before I reached capacity I seemed to be hyper fixated on my muscles "down there". It was like I could "feel" my muscles dying but it wasn't a bad feeling. I was feeling a strange pressure down there so I focused entirely on being as relaxed as possible. Then I did a regular heavy fart (with a tiny amount of brown) and released a big gush. In this process instead of pain like I normally feel when my bladder ceases. It was euphoric. Better than any orgasm I ever had. All this while I was occupied on a game. Didn't say a word or anything to my friend. He didn't notice anything different. I just had a deep heavy sigh and then pure relaxation. Since that moment I am having a constant tingling feeling down there and it feels kinda nice. Like a gentle tickle that is saying. It's OK to let go, that pain is gone and you are safe. 

Before I went to bed tonight I thought I'd try wearing a diaper with 3 boosters and it leaked really bad almost as soon as I laid down. So I changed and wore my typical single boost diaper. I will try out one with a booster and a poise pad together and one with just 2 boosters. If it is too thick, I seem to leak right away. I am pretty comfortable with just one booster, but I still wanna see if I can break that record. 

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I think a large portion of our hangups/setbacks are because of that fear of leaking. There is always that nagging voice saying “if ya let this wee go completely uncontrolled it’ll flood ya nappy and you’ll leak! So you know you need to moderate the flow, and slow things down so it’ll soak up the pee” kind of thing. 

I found that once I discovered cloth prefolds that completely wrap around me, and Plastic pants that completely cover that nappy, the fear of leaks disappears, and Im comfortable wetting in any position and with any volume of release. Brain then has no excuse  

It’s freeing, and a driver to steepen that downward curve once more. 

Find some combo to remove that fear, and then experience what happens next!

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2 hours ago, ozziebee said:

 

It’s freeing, and a driver to steepen that downward curve once more. 

Find some combo to remove that fear, and then experience what happens next!

I do understand that fear. At this point I usually only leak at night witch I don't care about. I can comfortably overflow at this point. I seem to be over that hurdle.

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  • 4 weeks later...

It is past time I made an update. 

I had some seriously shit luck the last month or so. I got wrongfully evicted by my landlord, Lost my job, my car, and my house all in the same week. I had to move in with my mother. I am now back on my feet and recovering from my HORRIBBLE depression. I am working again, and I got a new car. (On loan from my mother). during all this I almost wavered. while i was moving in I almost stopped wearing diapers. I had switched to pull-ups and pads. I was just gonna let my diapers run out and wasn't going to renew my subscription. Then things changed.

I had to live with my adopted family for a couple days, while my bio mum got her extra room ready. Adopted families house was full of clutter and had my sister,, brother, 4 dogs, and my niece and nephew. There was literally no privacy or area for me to be "little". I was gonna just stop wearing diapers when my sister said something. We had a serious conversation on the phone, she told me to move in to the family house till i could find a place and i kept declining and beating around the bush then she just asked me strait up, "What are you so afraid of?" I finally cracked and told her that I wanted an area for privacy so i could go change my diapers. I didn't want everyone to see my stuff all the time. In the end she took over the project and called mum and pops and talked to them one on one about the problem. I did not know!!!!!!

She came over and helped me pack and we got a spot in the garage for my boxes and they told me to clear out the bathroom cubbards and put my big trash can and suplies in there. I didn't really stay long since i finally convinced my wealthier mother to help me out. In the end "everyone" found out. 

I am not sure how to feel honestly. I am moved in completely at my bio mums house now and have $300 worth of diapers ordered. I kinda feel a little guilty, I forced myself into the identity of being incontinent, now i have to live like it wether i like it or not. 

I woke up having completely pissed myself overnight last night. Diaper almost leaked. As far as bedwetting goes I am certain i will always need sleep diapers. the day time the last few days i gave up completely. I was wearing pullups cause i kinda wanted to passively test myself. I leaked in every pull-up. I still get the feeling of having to pee sometimes. It doesn't hurt anymore at all and i am getting the weird tingly spasm more and more. When i get the slight urge to pee it is usually just cause i was sitting weird and got clogged, but by the time i notice I seem to either be already wetting or just about too. I still sometimes have to give it a little push but it is diminishing so fast it is scary. 

I was doing paperwork and playing video games earlier today and i was at my desk for a couple hours, when i got up I was SHOCKED! My dip was SOAKED. I truely have NO idea when I pee'd myself. My bio mum even bought me a pack of emergency diapers when I was about to run out. 

I think the biggest thing in all, my mother and I had a long discussion. She finally told me she wished she would have just let me wear diapers as a kid. She is a COMPLETELY new person nowdays. She teases me a little but it is funnier than mean. We went on a day trip and she kept teasing me saying not everyone can go hours and hours between bathroom visits. She even mentioned that she wants to see my tykables order. I told her about the subscription box being a suprize and cute patterns and she showed genuine intrest. The biggest thing of all now, I am not allowed to go undiapered now at her house. She is worried i will mess up the furniture. 

In the end I dont think I can go back to undies now if i wanted too. If there was anything i could change is I would get rid of having to feel ANY kind of urge at all whatsoever. For the most part im not really aware most the time, I am convinced I will eventually hit that point. There are times when I know I could hold it for a short burst. I am just kinda "over" even trying, I am stuck in diapers now so I might as well give in completely. I have been purposely trying to piss and leak anytime i dont have a diaper on. I know i could hold it for maybe a few min, I just think that if i keep telling myself the whole world is my diaper it will get rid of what little feeling i have. If i am gonna be stuck in diapers, might as well act like it. I only use the toilet once in the morning and once at night for stinky's. 

I used to only poop once a day but I know i am making progress because, I have been going like 2 or 3 times a day. I keep getting brown streaks when i change and I have already had a few close calls with the brown stuff. I had a few poo accidents about a week ago, I just think it shows how weak my sphincters are getting. I really don't like stinky diapers, but I tend to be quick about cleanup anyway. I am not looking forward to being 100%, at the same time i think it would be kind of convienent, and I seem to be getting weaker and weaker down there by the week. I am not torn up about it thou. If it happens, oh well. 

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On 9/1/2023 at 12:09 AM, prideful said:

In the end "everyone" found out.

Would you mind clarifying your history with diapers with respect to your family? I was under the misguided assumption that since you've been having urinary issues for (I think?) years, diapers would have already come up by then. Are you saying no one in your family knew you managed your incontinence with diapers until then? How did it all go down? Very curious.

I hope you are okay with finally giving into just wearing diapers all the time now. My brain is fuzzy on our previous conversations (without going back and rereading) but did it start out for you as a love-hate relationship with respect to wearing protection? Also, congrats on having an understanding (and curious!) mum! That has to be a good feeling. My parents (perhaps reluctantly at first) accepted the fact that I desire incontinence and wear diapers all the time, but I get the feeling they don't want to talk about it. In fact, none of my family does (I've come out to just about all my close family that I'm a DL) which kind of sucks. Perhaps it's too uncomfortable for them. I've always been "the weird one" in the family so I didn't really get any negative reactions, just disinterested neutral ones.

Also, sorry to hear you lost your job and place of living. I can't imagine the stress that must have caused. I'm happy to hear things are bouncing back for you.

Thanks for the update and keep us posted!

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On 9/2/2023 at 12:57 AM, Hannah YMS said:

Would you mind clarifying your history with diapers with respect to your family? I was under the misguided assumption that since you've been having urinary issues for (I think?) years, diapers would have already come up by then. Are you saying no one in your family knew you managed your incontinence with diapers until then? How did it all go down? Very curious.

I hope you are okay with finally giving into just wearing diapers all the time now. My brain is fuzzy on our previous conversations (without going back and rereading) but did it start out for you as a love-hate relationship with respect to wearing protection? Also, congrats on having an understanding (and curious!) mum! That has to be a good feeling. My parents (perhaps reluctantly at first) accepted the fact that I desire incontinence and wear diapers all the time, but I get the feeling they don't want to talk about it. In fact, none of my family does (I've come out to just about all my close family that I'm a DL) which kind of sucks. Perhaps it's too uncomfortable for them. I've always been "the weird one" in the family so I didn't really get any negative reactions, just disinterested neutral ones.

Also, sorry to hear you lost your job and place of living. I can't imagine the stress that must have caused. I'm happy to hear things are bouncing back for you.

Thanks for the update and keep us posted!

First part of your question, I started to develop OAB, later in my teens. I always dribble a little here and there. My mother was aware that I was interested in diapers for a while. She was a hard-core conservative religious nut so she convinced herself it was some kinda sex thing. I managed to get into Goodnights a little later on at a foster parents house. I did have a love hate relationship for a while but mostly because I was ashamed. 

Later on I got in a REALLY bad car accident. Woke up in the hospital being prepped for surgery. I had half my face ripped off, glass logged everywhere. And a bruised vertibre. After witch my incontinence got worse. I am fine nowadays wearing diapers all the time. I used to just get tight fitting panties and bladder pads. I tried abdl diapers after a couple poor experiences with over counter brands. I fell in love. I started wearing those, more and more. I didn't have horrible floods constantly but I would have the occasional accident 😕. Usually just leaking a little, I do have keyhole incontinence. Several times have I been pulling into my driveway and flooded my pads. Usually leaked a little. I started wearing the abdl diapers in the house just to expirament. I got to liking them. I started wearing more and more. 

I ended up getting lazy making it to the bathroom, just kept using the diapers because I didn't want to change out of them. Eventually I noticed my pads being soaked regularly. I would get home and it was pretty damp down there. I started getting nervous and started wearing diapers outside instead. I naturally don't like public toilets so I started just using the diapers to capacity while out and about. In the end I think laziness and fear of leaking everywhere just made me wear diapers more and make my incontinence worse. 

I was a little tired of wearing them for a while so I stopped. Ended up with wet patches a couple or times. I think after I had a noticeable wet patch at my friends house. I gave up. Even "she" said I should just wear diapers. Nowadays I kinda like it. It is super convenient and I don't have to care anymore. I'm gonna leak anyway so why not just give up. What's the point if only some of it ends up in the toilet. Might as well just let go and forget about it. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ah okay, thanks for clarifying. I can't imagine the struggle you've been through, that must have been tough. Sounds like the anxiety of wearing diapers not only for yourself but around family is lessening, which I think is fantastic.

On 9/6/2023 at 2:21 AM, prideful said:

It is super convenient and I don't have to care anymore. I'm gonna leak anyway so why not just give up. What's the point if only some of it ends up in the toilet. Might as well just let go and forget about it.

It's interesting you say that because while I've lurked on incontinence support forums (never posted, never felt like it was my space) a lot of people in the incontinence support community struggle like you did only to finalize on the decision to give up worrying about the socially taboo nature of managing incontinence with diapers and to just wear diapers. From what I've read, there seems to be an overwhelming support and acceptance that diapers are just generally the best management tool. No one here will disagree with your decision at least, but it makes me happy to see people grow past the "struggle" of wearing diapers to managing incontinence to finally accepting that it's probably their best management tool. So, kudos to you! Aaaaand, of course I'm quite biased in this, but kudos again. 🙂

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