Pretending at Pre-School (Updated with Part 4)

[keith60]

i hope there will be more to the story soon

[CDfm]

Isn’t the saying “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.”  Seems like Kylie is getting the full effect of what she asked for and is finding out it’s not all as great as she thought it would be. 
I still think you are doing a great job with the story. Keep it up. 

[wetdiaper55]

This is a great story......really loving it. Daddy has a surprise too.

[UnpottytrainingSebrina]

Great story!! 

[Secretstash]

Gonna bump this back to the top. This is an amazing story that I hope the author continues. Let’s give the story some love😄

[ABDLinTX]

@adventurekido I’ve certainly enjoyed this story - thank you for sharing your writing! 
 

It’s very clear that you’ve got a talent for writing, and I definitely appreciate stories with solid grammar. One thing I’ve noticed as the story continues is the pace. It seems as though it’s become slightly rushed (which, I know very well, can be the result of burn-out and/or anxiousness to finish a chapter). 
 

This is unsolicited advice, so take it with a grain of salt (and my noted appreciation above!), but perhaps slow down and highlight some of those embarrassing moments (like the accidents & the changes). I’ve found that adding in some inner monologue with the shameful thoughts of comparison to the adult world helps immerse the reader. 
 

Nonetheless, keep up the great work! I hope you’ll be back soon with another installment! 

[UnpottytrainingSebrina]

@adventurekido  Great Story! Love it!

[ken2988]

On 6/20/2023 at 10:36 AM, dmavn said:

Was wondering how the check in check out process was going to work.. At least where i live anyone under 10 isn’t going to be walking in or out of the building without a parent or guardian signing them in or out… ESPECIALLY a supposed 3-5 year old..

Two big issues that I see with the story.  The first was the same as yours, no daycare would ever allow a child of that age to check in or out without a parent with them.  Second the height of 4'10" would be a giant compared to a 3.5 year old.  The height shown would be that of about a 11 year old,  while a 3.5 year old would be about 3'3" tall.

[spark]

1 hour ago, ken2988 said:

Two big issues that I see with the story.  The first was the same as yours, no daycare would ever allow a child of that age to check in or out without a parent with them.  Second the height of 4'10" would be a giant compared to a 3.5 year old.  The height shown would be that of about a 11 year old,  while a 3.5 year old would be about 3'3" tall.

This sadly happens all too frequently in diaper stories.  Frequently the suspension of belief is quite a bit.

I'm currently writing a story where the main character is an adult male 4'8" (chosen because children under 4'9" are required to be in a booster seat if under 9).   He has a growth hormone deficiency (which is a thing) and never went through puberty (also a real thing).   However, the size puts him near the same size as a 10-year-old, so the challenge is to explain why an 8-year-old is diapers.

 

[dmavn]

never understood the age thing with child seats. It’s like you’re over 9, we don’t care if you die anymore. ..and this is coming from someone that was 4’3 in 9th grade…

[spark]

1 hour ago, dmavn said:

never understood the age thing with child seats. It’s like you’re over 9, we don’t care if you die anymore. ..and this is coming from someone that was 4’3 in 9th grade…

I originally had my character at 4'9" and then I looked up the rules for California.  I cut an inch of his height so that I could have his mom make him sit in a booster chair (FTR- it's a specially made booster chair that acts more like a car seat).   When he complains about it, the mom replies, "The physics won't know how old you are, so you need the booster seat."

This story is written by somebody who is in the beginning stages of story writing.   I think story writing is a skill that you need to practice and one of the hardest is to create a universe where the plot is feasible.  That is especially true when the genre is ABDL.   As I read the story, I could see @adventurekido growing as an author, and addressing some of the flaws, but sometimes we just have to overlook the flaw and accept the story as written.

BTW- that is not just true in amateur fiction writing.  In one of my favorite movies of all time, Raiders of the Lost Ark, the protagonist plays no role in the outcome of the story.  In  Independence Day, we have to believe alien technology and a 1996 computer are compatible, when a 1996 computer isn't compatible with a 2024 computer.  We also have to believe that Will Smith can operate a spaceship that he has never seen and was independently created, and somehow manage to dock it with another ship that he has never seen and has no idea how they dock the ship.

 

[Emmi]

16 hours ago, spark said:

I originally had my character at 4'9" and then I looked up the rules for California.  I cut an inch of his height so that I could have his mom make him sit in a booster chair (FTR- it's a specially made booster chair that acts more like a car seat).   When he complains about it, the mom replies, "The physics won't know how old you are, so you need the booster seat.".

 

Have you posted this story or is it still in the wip stage? I would love to read it.

 

As to the topic story. Loved it. I wish it had a bit more definitive of an ending, but I see you mentioned moving on to another story. I'll keep my eyes peeled. Your writing style was entertaining.

[Toet]

10 minutes ago, Emmi said:

Have you posted this story or is it still in the wip stage? I would love to read it.

I had the same question.

Back to the story. I'm a happy European, and I work with centimetres and metres, so it's much easier to let the possible errors in length slip by.

I loved the story so far. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the story. Yes, sometimes it's a bit questionable what happens in the story, but I've seen a lot of questionable things in real life.

I hope the author will continue the story soon.

[spark]

13 minutes ago, Emmi said:

Have you posted this story or is it still in the wip stage? I would love to read it.

That story is still in the development stage.  I don't start posting until I complete the narrative, so I'm thinking I'll start publishing in June.  Real life, especially that job thing takes a lot of time out of my editing.

[skidy]

Really enjoyed the story - thank you!