Acceptance is a two edge sword

[zzyzx]

I've been contemplating starting a topic with this title for a while.

To the moderators:  If you think this should go in another area, feel free to move this thread where you think it is more appropriate.  Just leave me a reminder for where to look. 

Acceptance is a two edge sword. 

While I come at this from the incontinence side, I think this applies to all those that frequent this board. 

A long time ago, I had to make a decision to handle adult onset secondary occasional nocturnal enuresis.  As a teenager there are at least two times the thought crossed my mind in preparing to spend time out of the house of "what if I wet the bed".  As a kid (between 7th and 13th birthdays), I never did understand the rare occasion I wet in my sleep.  I never did wake up from the act -- only realizing after I woke up from some other reason.  And all but one was a full bladder release.  [In hindsight as an adult, I would say I was vulnerable to certain external stimulus while I sleep.]  And a bit concerned that it might hit again....  Well, as an adult, it eventually did, starting with an illness, which when over, I noticed how I "sensed" things had shifted (slightly), and unfortunately, one of the items that shifted was what was previously occasional nocturia was now occasional nocturnal enuresis.  Having seen how my dad (didn't) deal with his incontinence issue (related to some medical issues), I had made my mind up not to let this stop me from doing things.  Ultimately found only cloth diapers at night worked to manage the situation.  That woke up feelings of a "little boy" and a "big boy"....  The little boy wanting to be a big boy and the big boy wanting out of diapers.....  At least I was able to discuss the problem with my mother and had help in dealing with it and also trying to regain control -- which never came.  Unfortunately / fortunately, acceptance comes with a price...  Yes, there is a bit of a little boy in me.  Accepting that at night unfortunately re-enforces issue.  But at this point, if I am properly hydrated, due to the additional effects of early on set BPH, watching and waiting, and the impact on the bladder, I no longer have my old functional bladder capacity.  So if I get a good nights sleep and stay at least properly hydrated, I'm going to be we in the morning as I don't wake up from a good sleep with how I currently sense bladder fullness...  Trying to be a "big boy" at night will end up disturbing my sleep resulting in a poor nights rest.  At this point, I better off with the little boy's acceptance of needing the diapers and the big boy being a big brother to the little boy in my.....    But at times, it can frustrate the adult and the big boy in my....

I recognize others have their way with dealing with the acceptance. 

@Kawaharu accepting her incontinence in that she is an adult baby.  And reinforcing it in her responses.

@~Brian~ reinforcing his medical needs with being a DL and acceptance of his medical issues (CP, etc.)

A number of the folks who come here from the AB/DL side of things, get into the agony of the binge purge cycle trying to deal with the impact of mentally needing diapers but also wanting to be "normal"....

Some, such as @Little Sherri dealing with bed wetting their youth and a desire to get back to the comfort of a diaper, etc....

I'm not so sure of @oznl's or @Enthusi;'s specific triggers, but both have at times expressed frustration at times along with the acceptance at times.

So we each have our struggles and find ways to accept what we need to deal with, but again the acceptance comes with a price - acceptance is a to edge sword.  Both benefits and disadvantages that need to dealt with. 

Maybe my slightly worsening day time control and resulting need to continue acceptance of the current situation is causing me to consider this more at the moment....

I'm sure this will spawn some additional discussion....

[Kawaharu]

Being an adult baby has helped me cope with and deal with being incontinent and being kept in diapers. Being kept in diapers is so normal for me that I don't even think about it.

[Bret2]

I being an abdl since being just a child and an occasional bed wetter as a child/ teen actually trained myself to bed wet as a way to be dependent on diapers.  Now after 12+ years of it I’m finding that I’m stuck with it.  I cannot stop, no Matter what I do I still wake up with a wet diaper or bed most mornings.  I have times where really wish I hadn’t done what I’ve done.  It has had an effect on my daytime continence as well to the point that if I’m going out to a crowded place where bathrooms aren’t easily accessible I have to wear a gaurd in order to avoid wet pants.   Not complaining just agreeing with the double edged sword that you mentioned.  I accepted that I needed diapers mentally and so I created a physical need for them but by doing so I’ve locked myself into a dependency that isn’t always real  convenient but it was the only way to help with accepting my need

[justforfun]

Agree with the two edged sword.  Having trained myself back to sleep-wetting in my mid-20's, I felt much more comfortable with myself, as there was a "reason" to my wearing diapers, and in fact, I "had" to wear diapers.

Of course, when life happened, I got married, kids, etc., there are certainly time when I wish that I hadn't done that.  In fact, I tried twice, unsuccessfully, to get dry again.  So it's a life now of diapers anytime I might fall asleep, and managing that.

On 4/28/2023 at 6:11 AM, Bret2 said:

I created a physical need for them but by doing so I’ve locked myself into a dependency that isn’t always real  convenient but it was the only way to help with accepting my need

Given the "acceptance" aspect to the topic, the (third?) edge is that of acceptance of my spouse.  She has fully accepted the situation, to the point where she expects me to be wearing protection pretty much anytime it might be a problem, including, for instance, watching TV when I might fall asleep.  A lock into the dependency can certainly happen, and be very difficult to un-lock.

[Bret2]

I agree with the 3rd edge in every aspect.  My wife has also accepted my condition and will often times remind me to pack diapers if we are going to be away from home for a night or wake me to put a diaper on if I happen to fall asleep without one.!

[TigerTy]

I'm getting to that point. My girlfriend is so accepting and actively encourages me to wear anytime I'm not at work. I've been drinking a lot before bed to enjoy wetting at night, but I'm now having nights that I'm not sure I didn't accidentally wet. I think I'm approaching the point of no return if I keep training myself. But considering I'm diaperd 14/ 24 hours a day it's probably not that bad. It's tempting to just say screw it and go full time.

[wannawet]

Acceptance, at the triple edge is so true.. and all three edges must be aligned, or its just a miserable place to be. 

 

I wear either men's guards, or a condom cath and bag 24/7 (cath at work is all that gets me thru the day due to lack of facilities), and still get up 2-4 times a night, because I know the guards only handle my dribble leakage, not a full bladder release, even if my full release is considerably less than it used to be. 

I am ready to accept full time diapers, and have been for a while, but wife/mate is firmly against. I have only wet  the bed once, but wake up 95% of the time with the mens pad at least damp. I have had one night this year that I have only gotten up once to void, and that morning I was almost at the point of pad satutation. 

My recent day in training pants was freeing. Was able to do what I needed outside without running back in the house every 20-30 minutes. Was able to not worry, not effort to hold, several times I found I was wetting without having 'opened the gate', it just happened. 

So, yes, I am at, or very near, the edge of 24/7, I have accepted that it IS going to happen, and I am ok with it, even if that means having a diaper bag and extra clothes with me, etc. It just comes down to her acceptance. 

[wannawet]

And, after posting the previous comment, today at work my condom cath detached and I wet myself... not bad, felt the difference in the cath and shut the gates as fast as I could, but still, here I sit with areplacement cath, a small wet spot, and hoping to dry out before I open to customers at 1... 

Diaper would be SO easy, quick change and good to go for the rest of the day... 

 

[Kawaharu]

For me, I am getting to that point in life where I am totally accepting of myself being put back into diapers. At first I wasn't accepting that I need diapers but then I come to grew up in diapers and grew to accept that I am not going to be potty trained anytime soon. It's why now, I accepted that I am always going to be an adult baby and will always be kept in diapers forever. Since knowing that, I am able to go in my diaper without worrying if I can make it to the potty. It allows me the freedom to potty anywhere I want. Even being an adult baby, let's me be an adult in my own way and let's me be young, diapered and babied in an adult world.