Getting Little: Final Chapter - Posted 3/23/23

[kerry]

Um...all the way through this I was wondering what the heck was going on until I looked back at the previous page and discovered that you had skipped Ch 19!

[SolSombraYSoldados]

5 minutes ago, kerry said:

Um...all the way through this I was wondering what the heck was going on until I looked back at the previous page and discovered that you had skipped Ch 19!

 

Oh my gosh I did!

I'll fix it right now.

Here's the actual end of last update's cliffhanger. Sorry to kerry and anyone else who got spoiled on Chapter 20.

 

-----

 

19

“I should go.” Nohemi was walking away before Sarita had processed her words.

“Hemi, wait!” Pauline rushed to the table. By the time she’d set down the ice cream bowls and turned around, Nohemi was out of anything but shouting distance.

“Are you really not going to give me a hug, Princess?” Astra held her arms out to Sarita. Pauline gave Sarita a pained look before casting a glance at Nohemi, who was almost lost in the crowd.

I’ll tell Mommy to go after Mimi, and then Angel can get her hug, and maybe – go somewhere else, then Mommy and Mimi can come back and hang out and everything will be okay.

Sarita turned to Pauline. “Mommy, you should…”

“You’re calling her mommy?!”

The floor dropped out from under Sarita, leaving her wobbling in her soggy diaper. She turned fearfully toward Astra, to see a gutted look on her Angel’s face.

“I thought you said – you said you couldn’t use that word. So it was just – me? I wasn’t good enough?”

“No that’s not what happened I – I…”

Astra burst into tears and ran, pushing her way through Littles and Caregivers alike, heedless of the exclamations of outrage she left in her wake.

“That’s not what I meant…” Sarita turned back to Pauline, and looked behind her to see Nohemi gone. She was one on one with the person she’d come to the Fairy with – but the vibe was shattered.

“Fuck.” Pauline rubbed her temples. “There’s always so much drama in this community.”

“Astra and Nohemi are fine together until there’s something they both want.” Tanner sighed. “Then you can’t put them in a room together without someone getting their ear bitten.”

“Weird analogy, Tanner. Is Astra or Nohemi supposed to be Mike Tyson?” Oriana asked.

“What? Neither. It’s a Godfather reference.” Tanner looked down his nose at Oriana, hamming it up.

“I’m so sorry!” Sarita wailed. The tears that’d built up when she’d been caught in the triangle burst forth in their full Little splendor. With her emotions uncapped by her headspace, Sarita was sure that everything was going to be awful forever, and it would be her fault the whole time.

“Don’t be sorry, soggy-pants.” Pauline grabbed Sarita by the waist and sat, pulling the Little girl into her lap. “Stop worrying about stuff between bigs. Your job is to eat ice cream and fill up that diaper so I can change you.”

“You’re not su-su-su-supposted to tease me ab-ab-ab-about that.” Sarita hiccupped loudly.

“I’m not supposed to tease you about what? The big wet diaper you have on? Hey Nieves, did you know your friend is a bigtime potty pants?” Pauline bounced Sarita on her legs, though it took both legs for her to manage it.

“Oh gosh, you’re a baby.” Nieves snickered.

“I am not! You’re the baby!” Sarita frowned at Nieves, sniffling her tears away.

“Nuh uh, I don’t have pee in my pants!” Nieves giggled.

“Yeah but you DID.” Paul said smugly.

“I don’t think you want to throw stones from your glass house, young man.” Tanner said.

Paul and Nieves were both blushing. Sarita was trying to remember why she was angry, or crying, but being bounced by Pauline was too distracting. Finally, she giggled and managed a small smile.

“That’s a happier baby.” Tanner smiled at Sarita. “Better eat your ice cream before it melts.”

“I can’t believe you got her ice cream.” Oriana complained with an exaggerated eye-roll. “Now all the Littles are going to want some, and they’ve already been promised cookies.”

“Oh yeah, cookies!” Was what Sarita intended to say. Through the mouthful of ice cream she’d shoveled into her mouth, it came out as a series of grunts and a spray of white.

“Sarita! That was very naughty.” Pauline pried the spoon out of Sarita’s hands. “You just lost your spoon privileges. If you can sit quietly, like a good girl, I’ll feed you the rest of the ice cream.”

“Ooooooh, like she’s a baby!” Paul and Nieves sing-songed in unison.

Sarita stuck her tongue out at her Little friends, only to have it pushed back in by a spoon full of ice cream. She blushed down to her neck when Pauline not only tipped the spoon’s contents into her mouth, but nudged Sarita’s mouth closed with a knuckle.

Being fed on Pauline’s lap was intensely embarrassing, but at least no one outside their group was paying attention. Nieves’ and Paul’s teasing lost considerable sting when Sarita realized that neither of them had any ice cream. This fact eventually dawned on the other Littles as well, spurring them to drop their teasing and beg for ice cream instead.

After a lot of hemming and hawing from Tanner and Oriana, it was decided that the Littles had been barely good enough to get a treat. The Littles made a mad dash for the ice cream station, suddenly panicked that it was going to close. Their caregivers followed amusedly behind, leaving Pauline and Sarita relatively alone.

Sarita was back in good spirits, with a tummy full of sugar and a sticky face. She cuddled close to Pauline while her mommy wiped her chin and sighed. An itchy feeling in her diaper forced Sarita to fidget on Pauline’s lap until she found a position without so much damp squish to it.

“Feeling better, baby girl?” Pauline traced her fingers along the curve of Sarita’s ear, and down her jawline.

“Yes, thank you. How about you, Mommy? Are you okay? That thing with Astra and Mimi was – a lot.”

“It was, but I’m okay, thank you for asking. How are you doing with the event? I know I promised you cookies, but we’re two hours away from the end, and they don’t hand out the cookie bags until then.”

“Two hours?” Sarita considered. “Um, things are okay right now except – I need a change.”

“You need what?”

“A change.”

“What kind of change?” Pauline smirked. “I have some quarters.”

“Mommy what are you – a diaper change!”

Pauline giggled. “Shout it louder for the people in the back.”

Sarita felt her face and the back of her neck burn and buried her face in Pauline’s shoulders. “You’re so mean to me!”

“I’m trying to be helpful. Why do you need your diaper changed, anyway?”

“You know why!”

“Not until you say it, I don’t.”

“Because I peed in it.” Warm prickles were spreading out across Sarita’s skin the more Pauline teased her.

“Well, it’s not leaking yet. I’m sure you can pee in it a few more times.” Pauline squished Sarita’s diaper against her crotch, freshly wetting the already warm skin there. “I like the idea of you walking around more and more wet, until your diaper is so full it falls off.”

“What are you even doing?” Sarita squeaked. “Where did all this weird dirty talk come from?”

“Oh, so it is dirty talk for you.” Pauline kissed Sarita’s neck. “You’re blushing so pretty. You like being in a soiled diaper? Being teased about it? How far are you going to go with this, Sarita? Am I going to have a messy girl on my hands?”

“Mommy – stop – too much.” Sarita squirmed against Pauline and bit her mommy’s shoulder.

“Okay, I’ll stop. That was fun though. Your reactions got your mommy all wet too. In a sexy way.”

“If we went home instead of staying to the end – what would we do?”

“Hmm, first thing would be to give you a spanking.”

“What? Why?”

“Because of your sexy, spankable butt.” Pauline tilted Sarita’s head up for a kiss. “And you probably did something naughty, but I don’t micromanage your behavior. It’s safer to have maintenance spankings.”

Another Pauline spanking, purely for fun? Yes please! “Then – kisses?”

“More than kisses. Kisses and touches – until we’re tired enough to sleep.”

“I want to go home, mommy.” Sarita bumped her forehead against Pauline. “But I don’t want to be outside in a wet diaper.”

“The changing area should be mostly empty, with everybody at the ice cream.” Pauline patted Sarita’s butt, and the Little girl took the hint, hopping off her mommy’s lap. With Sarita’s hand in hers, Pauline headed for the changing area.

Whether Pauline had engineered a moment to give Sarita maximum privacy for being changed or not, Sarita appreciated it. Before the drama with Astra and Mimi, staying to the end of the night would have been her choice. I STILL haven’t gotten to dance with my date at one of these things!

As emotionally wobbly as Sarita was feeling, and with the promise of sex at whichever apartment they picked, leaving the club was a relief. A double-relief, since it’d been a surprise for Pauline to even suggest it.

There was only one occupied tent in the changing area, and no one hanging around to see Pauline and Sarita enter one of them. As before, the interior was cozy with a dim light illuminating a changing blanket, a few pillows, and a well stocked shelf of diaper supplies. Tenderly, Pauline tore the tapes on Sarita’s diaper and peeled it off her.

“You really went. Is this all okay with you? Being in a soaked diaper you can’t hide, not being changed right away, being Little around a lot of people, and all that?”

Sarita considered. As far as she could tell, she was feeling fine. It was nice to have her bits airing out, and it’d be even nicer if Mommy would wipe them so they’d stop itching. With so many other diapered Littles around, her diapered state hadn’t been a source of worry.

“It’s fine? Yeah, it’s fine. My butt itches though, Mommy.” Sarita wiggled her rear for emphasis.

Pauline giggled. “That’s crazy. You really like this stuff. You weren’t just doing it for Astra, or because you thought I wanted you to.”

Sarita sighed. The wipes, please! “I do. I don’t know why, but it’s sexy and fun.”

Finally, Pauline wiped Sarita’s butt. The Little girl shivered at the tingly-clean feeing. Pauline’s strokes with the wipes became slow and soft while she cleaned Sarita’s crotch. “I don’t know why I like it either. You’re amazing for being so brave and adventurous.”

“It doesn’t feel that way, but thank you, love.” Sarita sighed and rubbed her temples. “Is it okay if I’m not as Little anymore?”

“Of course. I’m impressed you kept it up so long. That time we played in the playpens was the Littlest I’ve ever been.”

“Do you want to be Little more?”

“I don’t know.” Pauline put a fresh diaper under Sarita’s butt and gently applied lotion to her girlfriend’s skin. “Maybe it’s hard for me to do because it isn’t for me.”

“Maybe. It’s fun though, having another Little around.”

“So you’re saying I should arrange a play-date with Nieves?”

Sarita giggled and hid her face behind a pillow. “Is that kind of stuff okay with you? Would you want to be my mommy – more than when we’re at an event?”

“I – don’t know that answer either.” Pauline’s fingers, freshly covered in lotion, lingered over Sarita’s sex as they described slow circles. “I had a lot of fun tonight. Especially feeding you the ice cream and teasing you about your wet diaper.”

“Okay as long as – as you – oh god, Pauline, what are you doing?”

“Edging you before I take you home, duh.” Pauline grinned wickedly.

“You don’t have to edge me you could uh – go all the way.”

“Here in the club? You’re loud, sweetie.”

Sarita blushed and squirmed. “You’re horrible. Terrible – oh god – girlfriend.”

“I’m not hearing anything like Stop, or Don’t, or No.” Pauline put an extra squirt of lotion on her fingers and worked them across Sarita’s sex until it was as slick outside as in.

“Pauline…” Sarita arched her back, whimpering when Pauline pulled her fingers away. “Why? Oh god, don’t stop.”

“You’re loud, remember? Also, edging.”

“I’m going to bite you.”

“No, you’re going to be a good girl, because the more you behave, the faster you come when we get home.”

“Where did subby Pauline go? I liked her. She did whatever I said.”

“She’s still here. I uh – wanted to thank you for being okay with going home early. I don’t think I can keep up being in charge for much longer.”

“You should have said something.” Sarita sat up, feeling the last of her Little headspace fade away. Becoming big made it somewhat awkward to be sitting on a diaper, especially since she was going to be wearing it openly to the clothing check area. Oh well, it’s not like everyone hasn’t seen my diapers already.

“I did – kind of.”

“You should have said a non-kind-of thing.” Sarita squatted forward and leaned in for a kiss. Wobbling off-balance, she let herself tip all the way back on her back. “I know what it’s like to get overwhelmed at a party.”

“Yeah? Thanks.” Pauline sprinkled a cursory pinch of powder onto Sarita and taped her diaper up. “I think you’re totally un-Littled at this point. Want to get out of here?”

“Yes.” Sarita got to her knees, then sat back as a thought struck her. “You wet too, didn’t you? Don’t you want to change?”

“Uh – n-not really.” Pauline’s blush was evident even in the dim tent light.

“Oh, I see.” Sarita grinned. “I keep forgetting how much you like that. Huh, you got all hot when I wet my diaper on top of you once. Maybe I should pee in your diaper sometime.”

“What the fuck? Where did that come from?” Pauline squirmed, pressing her thighs together around her boosted diaper.

“Did that get you hot?”

“N-no.” Pauline tried to scoot out of the tent, only to have her ankle caught by Sarita.

“Oh look! I found Subby Pauline.”

“Is this – fun for you? Switching? Because – wow – it’s fun – me. I mean, fun for me.”

“Now who’s edging who?” Sarita crawled atop Pauline to kiss her, and crawled right out of the tent in the next moment. “Come on, let’s go home.”

“I don’t get to complain about you teasing me right now, do I?” Pauline crawled out of the tent with a rueful expression on her face.

“You don’t get to complain about that for the rest of the night.” Sarita offered Pauline her hand. Fingers twined together, the girls ambled toward the club entrance.

By mutual agreement, they avoided their friends on the way out. Sarita had no energy for having someone try to convince her to stay, and Pauline seemed the same. Sticking to the walls of the rooms they passed through got them to the clothing check without seeing anyone in the Munch group.

Buses were scarce, so late at night. With Sarita’s apartment slightly closer, and with a Nero to check up on, they made the couple mile walk to Sarita’s place. For a wonder, Nero was in a great mood when they arrived, and didn’t chew them out at all.

It’d been a long evening, and a long walk. A couple of miles in a diaper had cooled both girls down, especially Pauline. She was regretting walking so far in a wet diaper for certain. That they were greeted by a snuggly kitty, instead of an angsty one, tipped the scales away from sex to cuddles.

Sarita, Pauline, and Nero fell asleep in a pile on the couch, while Netflix’s “Are You Still Watching?” message flickered across their faces. The morning passed in a bit of unfortunate panic. Pauline had forgotten to set an alarm early enough to get her home in time for work. Some of Sarita’s diaper-tip money got Pauline a taxi – she was out the door in a flurry of kisses.

Idly, Sarita checked her work’s app for her next scheduled day. In true Britt fashion, Sarita’s schedule was empty. Her manager couldn’t be bothered to put the schedule up even a day in advance. The worst part was that tomorrow was Thursday, which was the day her schedule was the most variable. Thursdays were always a random choice of opening, afternoon, or evening shifts.

Sarita puttered around her apartment until two in the afternoon, when the impending worry of not knowing when she was working finally outweighed her distaste for calling her boss. With a handful of candy for bravery, or motivation, Sarita dialed her boss.

“Hello! It’s a great day at GrrlPower, where we empower women to define their sartorial selves!”

“Hi Britt, it’s Sarita.”

“Oh. Hello.”

“Um, I saw the schedule wasn’t up for next week and I just wanted to know uh – what shift do I work tomorrow?”

“The schedule is up.”

“What do you mean? I don’t see any shifts for the whole week.”

“Right. That’s your schedule for next week.”

A wave of nausea made Sarita reach for her kitchen counter to stabilize herself. “What? I have all next week off?”

“That’s correct. You’re free to keep checking the schedule to see if you have any shifts for next week, but this week’s schedule is set.”

“You’re – firing me?”

“No, I’m not firing you. I just don’t have any shifts for you right now.”

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Keep checking the schedule, like I said.”

“But I don’t have a job! I need this job.”

“I’m sorry Sarita, we simply don’t have any shifts for you right now. Goodbye.”

Sarita fell to her knees, staring at her phone. She hadn’t counted the diaper tip money yet, but if it was enough to get her through her next rent payment, that’d be a miracle. I could go to Astra – but I just made her mad. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck! What am I supposed to do?! I’m going to be homeless!

Nero nuzzled Sarita’s foot and was promptly yanked into Sarita’s arms. He was either in dire need of snuggles, or had sensed the gravity of the situation, because he purred instead of protesting.

“N-Nero, you might have to be somebody else’s kitty. It’s not good for – for a kitty to be homeless.”

Sarita’s insides were too frozen for tears to make it to her eyes. She knelt in shock, petting Nero reflexively, her mouth tasting of chalk. Astra would take me back if I agree to do everything she wants. She’d have to. She wants it so bad.

A scream rattled inside Sarita, stuck in the same freeze that had imprisoned her tears. Going over to Astra one hundred percent would mean the end of her current life. A breakup with Pauline was the first thing that’d have to happen. She’d lose her apartment, the first home she’d ever had on her own. On top of that – she was sure Astra had endless humiliations for a full-time baby. Humiliations that would be hot in the right context, but if she had to choose between them and living on the street…

More than anything, Sarita wished she could throw up. Her limbo state of too sad to cry, too dazed to be nauseous, was horrible. If there was any other way to get out of the trouble she was in, she’d take it, but every suggestion fell apart as soon as she examined it.

“I could crash with Pauline,” Sarita said to Nero. “But, we’re dating and that’s so much pressure on her. She’d be dumb to say yes – and if she did, what if I can’t find a job right away?”

“Maybe Nohemi would let me sleep on her couch – but that’s almost as bad as Pauline. She has even less reason to say yes than Pauline does, especially after all the drama I caused her.”

Nero rumbled and made biscuits on Sarita’s lap. She was petting the air more often than the cat, in her distraction. Who else? Oriana and Nieves? No. Paul and Tanner? No. Ineis? Maybe – and I could work in the Pony or something. If they’re even hiring. And she hasn’t seen me much lately.

Sarita thumbed her phone open and opened up her Dad’s contact. She had more than enough money for a flight to Mexico. Dad would take her in, no questions asked. There wasn’t money to ship her stuff though.

What do they let you take on a plane these days? Two little bags and a suitcase? How much can I get in those?

Sarita looked around her apartment, imagining everything that couldn’t fit in airline baggage dimensions disappearing. When she looked down at Nero, her tears finally flowed. There wasn’t money for a second seat for Nero. Cats died all the time in the cargo section. Going to Dad meant saying goodbye to her kitty.

“Nero, I need you to listen to me.” To Sarita’s eye, nothing about Nero’s behavior changed, but she plowed ahead anyway. “If Astra takes us in, you have to be nice to her, okay? You don’t have to sit on her lap or anything, but you can’t run away all the time, and you can’t make angry meows at her.”

Nero flicked an ear at Sarita. She nodded at him and continued. “Her place is crazy clean so you – well both of us have to be less messy, okay? It’s going to be hard – but – but we can do it, right?”

With trembling fingers, Sarita exited her Dad’s contact and opened Astra’s. She had a limited window of time to make the call. Her burst of motivation from making a decision was already fading. Two taps on the screen started a call.

“Sarita? Princess – this is not the best time…” Astra sounded upset, annoyed, and exactly in the terrible emotional place Sarita had expected to find her. Cringing, Sarita swallowed her pride.

“Angel, I’m sorry about last night. I only went with Pauline because you didn’t say anything about going when I mentioned it to you.”

“Oh! Oh my god, is that really why you went with her?” The rise of hope in Astra’s voice made Sarita flinch.

Closing her eyes, Sarita put on her best liar’s voice. “Yeah, I wanted to go with you, I was sad so I went with Pauline. But I – love you. I want to be your Princess. If you still want me to be – and live with you.”

“I knew you’d come to me eventually.” Astra’s tone was thick with emotion, Sarita could pick out relief, happiness, and pride for starters. “Oh Princess, this is a dream come true! You don’t know how long I looked for you, how long I looked for the perfect baby girl.”

“That’s me.” Sarita winced. “Do you think we could get me moved before the month is out? So uh – I don’t waste another month of rent here?”

“Of course! The sooner the better. I’m going to take such good care of you, Princess, you have no idea. You haven’t seen the half of what I’m going to do for you yet. It’ll be perfect. I promise. You’ll never have to worry or be sad again.”

“That sounds amazing. Thank you, Angel. Um, if you’re at work or something I can let you go, I just wanted to be sure we talked.”

“That’s probably a good idea, I’m supposed to be taking a call from a big client sometime this hour. I’ll call you as soon as I’m off work, the first instant, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you, Princess.”

“Love you, Angel.”

I’m safe. Sarita threw her phone at the couch. It’ll be fine. I like Astra. I’m sure I can love her someday. There was so much good that had happened with Astra, so much generosity, it was weird to be feeling so trapped with her. As Astra’s Princess, there’d be more scenes at the Green Fairy – but they could talk about those ahead of time, probably. Even if the scenes stayed extreme, at least she’d be famous. Littles like Nieves and Paul would be impressed by her, which was cool.

There’d be a bunch of rules and punishments and stuff, living with Astra, but what had Sarita managed on her own? Without rules, she’d managed two years of living on her own and ended up homeless. It’s a good thing that I won’t run my life. I can’t keep a girlfriend, or a job, or an apartment. I can barely keep a cat.

Squaring her shoulders, Sarita forced herself to focus on the positives. Astra’s fingers had provided the most mind-blowing orgasms of her life. She wouldn’t have to sell all her stuff. She’d miss the apartment, but get to stay in Ardenthill. She’d still be able to see her friends, even if it’d be awkward for a while.

Best of all, I keep Nero. I hope you appreciate it, furball.

[Guilend]

One other thing she is forgetting,  Astra would be wanting her in diapers full time, no potty and probably wants her to use her diaper for everything. She really doesn't know what she's getting herself into. Once she's living with her she'll feel obligated to do everything Astra wants, even if she doesn't want to or isn't ready yet and there's a chance Astra would be more aggressive and even forceful with her and might even hold it over her head that she's living there for free.  Bad, bad, bad idea. Like the worst yet. I have a feeling Astra will have her at her place by the end of the night. She might even try and make her get rid of the cat because of her clean house. 

[SolSombraYSoldados]

2 hours ago, Guilend said:

One other thing she is forgetting,  Astra would be wanting her in diapers full time, no potty and probably wants her to use her diaper for everything. She really doesn't know what she's getting herself into. Once she's living with her she'll feel obligated to do everything Astra wants, even if she doesn't want to or isn't ready yet and there's a chance Astra would be more aggressive and even forceful with her and might even hold it over her head that she's living there for free.  Bad, bad, bad idea. Like the worst yet. I have a feeling Astra will have her at her place by the end of the night. She might even try and make her get rid of the cat because of her clean house. 

Sarita isn't going to stop digging until her bad decisions hole goes all the way through. ?

Edited March 10, 2023 by SolSombraYSoldados
typo

[Guilend]

19 minutes ago, SolSombraYSoldados said:

Sarita isn't going to stop digging until he bad decisions hole goes all the way through. ?

I know. It's like watching a train wreck. It's sad to watch, but I can't look away lol

[YourFNF]

On 3/9/2023 at 5:00 PM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

t’s a good thing that I won’t run my life. I can’t keep a girlfriend, or a job, or an apartment. I can barely keep a cat.

It's a bit scary how much I relate to this girl...

I wonder if I would make the same mistakes in her position?

Also I have an extreme suspicion that Astra somehow engineered this...

[SolSombraYSoldados]

Oooh, chapter 20 comes after chapter 19. ?

Now, this is a story all about how

Sarita’s life got flipped-turned upside down

And I'd like to take a minute

Just sit and chill

I'll tell you how she became the princess of a town called Ardenthill

 

20

 

The enormity of impending change on Sarita’s life left her listless on the floor until her phone rang. It was Astra, of course, with her unstoppable torrent of energy and plans. Sarita’s Angel bombarded her with excited ideas until Sarita couldn’t remember one of them. Not that it mattered if Sarita knew what the plans were. They were Astra’s plans, and Astra was the one executing them. Sarita pushed her natural stubbornness away when it rose in irritation at Astra. Despite her trapped feelings, Sarita was flooded with relief at Astra’s second rescue. Leaning into that feeling had Sarita calm by the time her Angel arrived.

“Princess!” Astra threw her arms wide and grabbed Sarita as soon as the apartment door was open. Angel was downright giddy and beaming. After the energetic, exuberant kiss Astra planted on her, Sarita couldn’t help but smile. She looked her blonde-bombshell Angel over and focused on the obvious positives of her situation. I’m going to be in that gorgeous woman’s bed every night. She’s so happy to see me!

“You seem kind of excited, Angel.” Sarita giggled.

“Excited isn’t even the word.” Astra booted a bag into the apartment, shut the door with her hip, and backed Sarita up against the couch, kissing her all the way. “Maybe you should call me Mommy now, since it doesn’t bother you anymore.”

“Uh – I could.” Sarita squirmed. “But I think of you as Angel, as my Angel. It’s like – your special name.”

“Aww.” Astra smiled and stroked Sarita’s hair. “That is super sweet. I like that you have a special name for me. Could you call me Mommy just once though? Just so I can hear it?”

“S-sure, Mommy.”

Some tightness around Astra’s eyes smoothed out. Sarita hadn’t noticed it until her Angel relaxed. Is she really that insecure? No – that can’t be it. She got her feelings hurt at the Fairy, and she only needed me to say one word.

“Oh Princess, thank you. Now, I know we really should be packing your things, but I want to celebrate. What do you say to starting our new life tonight?”

“Whatever you want, Mommy.” Sarita smiled and shrugged. If Astra wanted to be in charge so much, it’d be a big load off Sarita to let her.

“That’s my good baby.” Astra kissed Sarita one more time. “I have everything in my bag to get you transformed. It’s fate, you know? We’re perfect for each other. Even our favorite colors are the same.”

Sarita looked over the olive colored dress her Angel was wearing. It was a great color – on Astra. “We have the same favorite colors?”

“Of course! You’re always wearing sage-y colors, like the green shirt you have on now.”

Sarita looked down at her shirt. She thinks my shirt is green? This is a blue-shifted teal. It’s not in a sage palette, it’s like – Caribbean colors. Astra was already setting a dress out on the coffee table – Sarita didn’t see the point of arguing over colors. She imagined Astra loved going shopping, which would mean Sarita could pick colors as they bought things. Color matching is something I can do in our relationship!

The dress Astra had out was far more restrained than Sarita had expected. It was cerulean blue, with a built-in white blouse that had transparent short sleeves. A kid’s dress for certain, but not out of the realm of what an adult might wear. The white tights that were to go with it pushed the look over the edge into Little, as did the hair bows that Astra was lining up next to the dress.

It was a far cry from the onesie and bonnet Sarita had been dreading. I’ve been spending too much time with Pauline and Nohemi. I’m always thinking the worst of Astra, but she’s trying so hard!

“Can I do everything for you? Undress and dress you?” Astra bounced on her tiptoes in front of the outfit she’d laid out. There was a big flower-print diaper with the outfit as well, of course, but the dress’ skirt had enough natural poof to conceal it.

“I like it when you take me over.” Sarita realized how true that statement was after she said it. The balance between consent and boundary-pushing had always been a little off, but that didn’t mean Astra wasn’t fun. All they needed was to dial that balance in – and being mommied by her Angel would be heaven.

Astra directed Sarita as much by touching or posing her as she did with verbal commands. Not being trusted to understand “put your arms up”, without an accompanying touch on her arms, made for a quick plunge into Littlespace.

The thing about being Little with Astra, Sarita thought as her Angel stripped her, is that it’s a bit like drowning. The waters of her Little mindset came up to Sarita’s face fast, faster than with any other caregiver. They were warm waters though, comforting and supporting. If Sarita could manage the nervous bit where the water closed over her face, the rest was peaceful and dreamy.

Under Astra’s gentle touch, seeing her face still glowing with excitement, Sarita took the plunge without fear. When she was naked on the floor and Astra told her to be a starfish, the infantile command brought giggles, not embarrassment. Having Astra brush out Sarita’s hair was a luxury that absolutely justified the childish hair bows.

After pulling the tights up over her Little girl’s diaper, Astra posed Sarita in front of her mirror. Astra hadn’t been exaggerating to call the outfit a transformation. Sarita felt exuberantly cute in the dress and tights, and wished she’d put on makeup to complete the effect. Seeing herself so adorable and innocent put a happy glow in her chest. The beautiful lady in the mirror behind Sarita – with her very-truthful hips – didn’t hurt her mood either.

“Wow. Angel – am I cute?”

“You’re good enough to eat!”

Sarita giggled. “But you just put a diaper on me.”

“Dirty girl.” Astra smirked and lightly swatted Sarita’s butt. “I’m glad you like the outfit. This is the kind of thing I want to take you out in.”

“Out like – where?”

“Restaurants mostly. Also the park, a play, the store, wherever we go for fun. It’s not too obvious, and the long dress really hides your diaper. Skirts will be good for taking you out, so I can easily change you in a family restroom.”

“Diapers all the time? Even when we’re in a store?” Sarita shivered. Astra wasn’t asking, but they were at least talking about things ahead of time. Surrendering so much to her buxom, blonde Angel was hot, which helped to keep Sarita’s anxiety down.

“You said you wanted to be my baby princess full time. That’s what that means.”

“I do but – Angel – I’ve never done something like this before.”

“I will take care of you.” Astra knelt next to Sarita and took the diapered girl’s face in her hands. “Please trust me, Princess. I love you so much. I’ll take care of everything if you let me.”

“I’m trying, and I like it. It’s scary too.”

“It’s okay for baby girls to be scared. That’s what their mommies are for.” Astra sat back on the floor and pulled Sarita into her lap. “Tell Mommy what scares you.”

“People finding out about my diapers.”

“I won’t let that happen. The whole time we’re out somewhere, I’ll watch you and make sure your diaper doesn’t show. What else?”

“What if – what if you don’t like me as a baby anymore?”

“Never. You don’t understand – you’ll see after you live with me for a while. What we have is something I’ve wanted for years. This is my dream, Princess. You’re my dream.”

The sweetness of her Angel’s words drove Sarita to tuck her head into the curve of Astra’s neck. “I don’t know if I can always be a good girl. I might get – frustrated sometimes.”

“That’s what’s so beautiful about you being my Little girl. I’ll correct your behavior when you’re bad. We don’t have to have fights like other couples, or build up resentments. Naughty Little girls get punished and we move on.”

What if she does something bad? Who fixes that? Sarita considered that while she snuggled with her Angel. There wasn’t a great answer, but Sarita kept running up against the reality that she didn’t have many choices. Not if she wanted to stay with her kitty.

“Nero has to come with me, okay?”

“Honey, of course! I wouldn’t make you give up your cat. Though – do you think he’ll get to like me better?”

“He should. It’s just that he doesn’t know you well.” I hope he starts liking her – he’s usually friendlier to people by now.

“Then we have plenty of time to get to know each other. Any other worries for my Princess that I can help with?”

The big thing is what she’s planning for the Green Fairy… “Not really. Just remember what I said before, please. This is way more than anything I’ve done.”

“I’ve got you. Tell me when you get scared, and I’ll fix it. I promise.” Astra kissed Sarita on the top of her head. “Getting your stuff to my apartment will be easy. It’s a small place, it’ll fit in a little U-Haul. We can put your furniture in my storage unit until we can get it donated.”

“Can I keep one thing?”

“Sure honey, what do you want to keep?”

“I don’t know – I just want one thing that’s from me in your – in our apartment.”

“It can be more than one. We’ll talk about it when we get everything moved.” Astra patted Sarita on the head.

“Though while we’re talking about things to get rid of, we can throw your panties away! You won’t need those anymore.” Astra’s lighthearted chuckle at that came with a weirdly satisfied smile.

That sounds so final. What if I need to do something where I can’t wear diapers? “You wouldn’t want to see me in them sometimes, at least to take them off?”

“You’re sexy in diapers, Princess.” Astra patted Sarita’s butt and guided the Little girl off her lap. “Speaking of packing, do you think you can get things packed up on your own if I drop off some boxes and tape for you? I don’t know what your work schedule looks like.”

Here we go. She’s going to find out sooner or later. “That’s not going to be a problem. I uh – I got – Britt didn’t schedule me for the whole week. She’s probably not going to schedule me any more – ever.”

“Oh sweetie, that’s awful of her!” Astra took Sarita’s hands and squeezed them. “I’m sorry that happened, but it’s perfect timing for us. I know you hated that job, and you don’t have to worry about working with my salary and bonuses.”

“I can get another job soon, I’ve always worked.” It’d be nice to not have to work, but scary to not have my own money.

“Babies don’t work. You don’t want to get another job you hate, do you? I meant everything when I said I’d take care of you, diapers to dollars.”

“O-okay.” She’s not listening. I’ll try again later. It’s not like she’d lock me in her apartment.

Astra wiped tears away from her eyes. “You’re my dream come true. I still can’t believe it. Let’s go somewhere delicious and celebrate.”

I haven’t been to a nice restaurant in ages, Sarita thought, wistfully. Though I bet she won’t let me order a cocktail. Maybe I can get a mocktail.

“Okay Angel. Can I order a virgin Shirley Temple?”

“So precious!” Astra put her hand to her mouth in delight. “Of course you can. Nothing’s too good for my princess. We’re going to get appetizers, delicious food, dessert, and all the Shirley Temples you can drink.”

“Yay!” Despite how vague their conversation had been, Sarita felt like she’d managed to discuss a few things at least. With most of her fears addressed – or at least brought up for later – Sarita was free to feel the euphoria of being rescued from a total disaster. Grinning at her Angel, Sarita spun around until her skirt flared out.

“I love seeing you happy, Princess. Though I might regret my promise about all the drinks. Good thing I’ve got a diaper bag that holds plenty of diapers for a night out.” Winking, Astra took Sarita’s hand and lead her out the door.

It was weird to leave the house without a purse or wallet. The strangeness compounded when Astra took Sarita’s keys and put them in her own purse. Being diapered in public – with Astra leading her by the hand – finished the job that Astra had started when she’d diapered Sarita.

The Little girl’s world narrowed to nothing but her Angel and their immediate surroundings. Bills, jobs, apartments, even bathroom breaks were none of Sarita’s concern. Her biggest worries were deciding which desserts would be the tastiest, and if she could convince Astra to order her more than one of them.

In fact, Sarita was so Little she forgot to pay attention to the name of the restaurant. The décor marked it as one of Ardenthill’s interchangeable Italian bistros. Sarita therefore had an agonizing choice over lasagna or spaghetti. Angel suggested splitting the difference with the children’s baked spaghetti, which was perfect.

The restaurant was too fancy to have mozzarella sticks on the menu, but the bruschetta was so tasty that Sarita couldn’t complain about it – even at her most Little. True to her word, Astra told their waitress to bring Sarita an endless supply of Shirley Temples. Halfway through her baked spaghetti – when Astra was teasing Sarita about needing a bib – Sarita used her diaper without remembering where she was.

Something in her blush or expression must have alerted Astra, because Sarita’s Angel whispered a question about having an accident a mere minute later. Sarita nodded as subtly as she could. Astra’s discretion so far had not prepared Sarita for her Angel’s next move, which was flagging down their waitress.

Astra seemed not to notice Sarita’s eyes widening in panic as she caught the server’s attention. “Excuse me, does the restaurant have a disability or family restroom?”

“Of course. It’s down the hall past the bar, take the first right. It’s not next to the regular restrooms, so it should be nice and clean. Please let any staff member know if you need help.”

“That’s so kind of you, but we don’t need any tonight.” Astra stood and held her hand out to Sarita. The waitress was already fast-walking to her next table. Nobody was looking at them. Hesitantly, Sarita rose and took her Angel’s hand.

Though most restaurants in Ardenthill had a family restroom – even fast-food places – Sarita had never been in such a nice one. There was plenty of space, everything was spotless, and the fixtures were fancy. It had a changing table too, which seemed suspiciously sturdy considering what Sarita now knew about all the ABDL people in town.

“Hop up Princess.” Astra swung the changing table down from the wall and patted the plastic top.

Sarita climbed onto the changing table with some trepidation, until she realized it wasn’t giving under her weight in the slightest. As she settled back on the changing table she judged it would be able to handle a large man if necessary. That was even more suspicious, but a mystery for another time.

“This is our first diaper change out in public, and my first as your Mommy.” Astra smiled and peeled Sarita’s tights off. “We’re going to have lots of firsts together.”

“Mommy what if – if I have to go number two?”

“I don’t expect you to do that in your diapers right away, don’t worry. ” Astra popped the tapes on Sarita’s diaper and slid it out from under her butt. “Mommy will still take care of you. Let me know when you have to go and I’ll escort you to the bathroom.”

Not right away – but eventually she’ll expect it? Well, if it’s not right away we don’t have to talk about it now. Sarita held her feet at Astra’s direction as her Angel wiped her down and put her in a fresh diaper. Between the diaper change and standing obediently by Astra as she wiped down the changing table, Sarita was back to the depths of her Little mind.

The rest of the dinner was a blur in her memory, other than there had been a delicious lemon chocolate cake. Afterwards, they went to Astra’s apartment – soon to be known as home. Sarita’s Angel wasted no time getting her out of her marinara-speckled dress and into a one piece pajama.

Angel had an early morning coming up and Sarita was wiped out from the chaos Britt had made of her day and her life. Before the summer sun had set, Sarita was tucked into Astra’s big spoon. The world faded away.

~~~~*~~~~

Sarita woke with a start in darkness. The blackout curtains over Astra’s bedroom window plunged the room into much deeper dark than Sarita was used to sleeping in. Her heart was racing – she was whimpering. Something had been chasing her, and her teeth had been falling out. Though she was awake enough to identify the terrifying images as a dream, she was too sleepy to shake the feeling of being chased. With the room so dark, a monster could be right in front of Sarita and she wouldn’t see it.

Nothing’s chasing me, it’s just a dream. Before Sarita could believe herself, the creature grabbed her from behind. She shrieked and sat bolt upright, sliding across the bed. Her hand scrabbled across the bedside table, sending her phone clattering to the hardwood floor.

“Wha?” Astra sat up and groped sleepily for Sarita. It was the same hand. Sarita gave a massive sigh of relief, though her heart was still pounding almost out of her chest.

“Sorry – bad dream.” Sarita panted.

“It’s okay Princess.” Astra yawned, and pulled Sarita properly onto the bed. “Mommy’s here.”

“I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“You’re not in trouble. Goodness, Princess, your heart is racing. You were terrified, weren’t you?”

“Something was chasing me – and I thought it grabbed me.”

“Your Angel will fix it. Wait here, Princess.”

Astra kissed Sarita’s cheek and climbed out of bed. A soft light glowed to life on a wall by the floor. That would have been nice to have when I woke up. Is that stupid? Do I need a nightlight? I bet Astra would let me have one for tonight at least.

Astra returned with a small, clear plastic cup in her hand. It was half full of a medicinally-red liquid. “Here you go, Princess. Drink this down.”

“What is it?” Sarita took the cup hesitantly.

“It’ll help you sleep. Be a good girl and drink it all.”

After another long, uncertain moment, Sarita downed the cup’s contents. The specific flavor of cloying cherry taste took a moment to identify. It’s Benadryl. Brand name even.

“Uh, Mommy, is there a way to keep that light on when we’re in bed?”

“Do you need a night-light, baby girl?”

“It’s just that my bedroom has a streetlight right outside the window – when I woke up it was really dark and…”

“I think it’s precious that you want a nightlight, you don’t have to be embarrassed around your mommy. Of course we can have it on.” Astra patted Sarita’s cheek and went back to the wall to flick a switch. “There you go, Princess. We’ll pick you out a pretty nightlight at the store tomorrow. And a bigger one too for when we get your crib set up.”

“Uh - thanks.” Sarita sighed and snuggled back into Astra’s arms. She vaguely remembered something about a crib in the spare room from the first time Astra had brought up keeping Sarita as a full time Little – but that was a joke, or for a special scene, surely.

“This is a big transition for you, but I know you’ll love it when you get used to it.” Astra stroked Sarita’s belly through her pajamas. “All you have to do is let go and let Mommy handle everything. If you’re scared, I’ll fix it. Same if you’re hungry, tired, hurt, or wet. You’re my Princess forever.”

Forever? We didn’t talk about forever. Sarita yawned. The medicine was working fast on top of interrupted sleep. There was no time to process Astra’s words before Sarita fell asleep.

~~~~*~~~~

When morning came, Sarita was wet and Astra was delighted. It’d been a small accident only, and to be blamed on the medicine Astra had given her. Or so Sarita tried to assure herself, while she filled her diaper with the rest of her morning pee. The mere hint that Sarita might become a bedwetter had Astra over the moon during Sarita’s morning diaper change. It was far too early to argue with Astra about anything, especially with the lingering effects of the sleep meds making Sarita sluggish. It must have been the maximum strength nighttime version or a double dose.

The morning’s diaper change, breakfast, and dressing Sarita in her Little outfit were all accomplished with Sarita in a sleepy daze. Being walked up to her apartment by Astra as a stop on Astra’s way to work felt a bit like being sent to daycare.

“You go ahead and nap. I’ll be by at lunchtime with packing supplies and to change your diaper. You’ve got a booster in there, so you shouldn’t need a change until then. Call me if you need anything, Princess.” Astra kissed Sarita on the forehead. “If I don’t answer it’s because I’m in a meeting or on the phone. I’ll call right back.”

“Okay. Uh, have a good day at work, Angel.”

“I will darling, as much as I can. I’m going to miss you every minute.” Astra kissed Sarita again, on the cheek, and was out the door.

Sarita watched the closed door for a while, touching her cheek. Slowly, it dawned on her that Astra’s kisses had gotten more motherly and less passionate as the previous night had gone on. Am I even her girlfriend anymore? Is a baby all I am now?

Sitting on the couch, Sarita could feel the thick padding under her butt despite the deep squish of the couch cushions. She looked around her apartment, and found herself taking a mental inventory. It was a sad thought, part of saying goodbye to the cranky old apartment she’d come to love.

It’s cheap and nothing works – but it’s mine. Or it was, anyway. Will Astra even let me get a job? Is she planning to give me an allowance or something instead? How would that work if we broke up?

Feeling suddenly sick to her stomach, Sarita flopped down on the couch. A nap sounded safer than questions that had no good answers. For the moment at least, she put herself in her Angel’s hands and pretended her problems didn’t exist.

[Guilend]

While I'm surprised that Astra actually talked with her about her feelings, I have a feeling that's all it was, just talk. I was surprised that Astra said she didn't have to mess her diaper for now. However I have a feeling after a time or two of taking her to the potty she will just tell her she's busy and she can hold it or use her diaper and then just wait till she loses control and just console her afterwards and use it as an excuse to not let her use the potty anymore. Another likelihood is while Astra is at work she'll take her diaper off to mess in the toilet and get punished harshly by Astra for taking her diaper off and then add locking plastic pants to keep her in them while at work. She doesn't even realize how deep she is. By the time she realizes her mistake, once she doesn't have any friends, it might be too late. I am very curious to see which of her friends inevitably save her further down the road. 

[SolSombraYSoldados]

Alright y'all, this is chapter 21 of 23, the brakes are off!

 

-----

21

Midday came with the apartment door banging open. Sarita looked up blearily from the couch and realized that Astra must have a key to her apartment. She couldn’t remember if she’d given Astra a key or not, but it didn’t matter. Astra having her own key meant that Sarita didn’t have to get up off the couch.

After cooing over Sarita napping like a cute baby on the couch, Astra was a whirlwind of activity. She changed Sarita into a nighttime diaper with a booster pad and disappeared to the kitchen to make lunch. Sarita was content to be totally passive throughout, letting Astra feed her by hand. With lunch done, Astra snatched a few bites of food for herself, checked Nero’s dishes, and bagged up a load of laundry. Before she was out the door, she showered Sarita in kisses, lamenting that she was going to have to work late. Three times, Astra promised to be back the moment she was done working. Then she was gone, like a momentous comet.

An hour later – as the energy from her lunch kicked in – Sarita sighed and stirred from the couch. There was a stack of packing material by the door, plenty of boxes, a tape gun, and pre-printed colored stickers that said “Kitchen”, “Bedroom”, “Storage”, and so on. Despite her leaden limbs, Sarita assembled a box and filled it with books. She had three boxes of books done when a knock came at the door. Stupidly, she stared at the door, wondering why Astra didn’t just walk in again.

“Come in!”

“Uh – I can’t.” It was Nohemi’s voice. Sarita smacked her forehead to clear her stupor and rushed over to open the door.

“Hey Mimi. Come in – but for real now.”

Nohemi smiled awkwardly and entered. She was dressed in her snappy masc-gear, looking just as sharp as last time in a vest and pinstriped slacks. “Thanks. I wanted to talk about what happened last night at the Fairy. I’m uh – I didn’t do it right.”

“Oh, sure.” Sarita smiled encouragingly and waddled over to her couch to take a seat.

“You’re really babied up.” Nohemi caught sight of the boxes and frowned. “Are you moving?”

“It’s a whole thing.” Sarita sighed. “We can talk about last night if you want.”

“Is that okay?” Nohemi wrung her hands. “You seem off. Sarita, I want to be your – good friend. When I’m emotional, it’s hard for me to express what I’m thinking. Like last night at the Fairy – I couldn’t say anything. I knew it was wrong to walk away, but I didn’t have any other options.”

“I wish you’d stayed – even if you went away from the conversation. Hiding is something I get though. Sometimes I just – can’t.”

“I’ve had so many conversations with Astra. She talks too fast, and so confidently. I can’t keep up. Emotions are hard, I have to think about what I’m saying to make sure that I’m saying the what I mean.” Nohemi paced in front of the apartment door. “Astra never gives me that time. So I left.”

“Yeah… she doesn’t have a slow gear.” Sarita smiled wryly.

“Is that why you’re babied up? Does she want you like this on your days off?” Nohemi took a deep breath. “Wait, sorry, I take that back. I didn’t come her to grill you about her – like the other time.”

Sarita shrugged. Words strained against her chest and throat, but she couldn’t make them come out. What if Astra doesn’t let me see Mimi anymore? Or if Mimi doesn’t want to see me because I’m living with Astra? Am I going to lose everybody?

“Did I say something wrong? Please don’t be mad. I’m trying to figure out how to say…” Nohemi stopped her pacing in front of the boxes and stared at them. Slowly, she turned her gaze to Sarita. “Are you moving in with Astra?”

“Y-yes,” Sarita whimpered. “Don’t be mad, please.”

“I’m not mad, I’m confused.” Nohemi rubbed the back of her neck. “Stop me if I’m saying something I shouldn’t but – you looked so cute with Pauline. Whenever I see you with Astra, you look stressed.”

“Ha-ha.” Sarita felt her laugh come out strained and scary. “Well, it’s a whole thing, like I said.”

“Can you explain?” Nohemi knitted her brows in worry. “If that’s okay.”

“I don’t know it’s…” It’s a reason I’m ashamed of. I’m scared. Mimi’s going to think I’m a stupid failure, or get mad at me for letting Astra do whatever she wants. The silence stretched out, with Sarita watching Nohemi’s expression become progressively more distressed.

“It’s none of my business. I should have said congratulations.” Nohemi smiled hesitantly. “I’m sorry, you’ve got good news and you’re worried I’m going to be upset. I’m glad you’re so happy with Astra.”

“Happy.” Sarita cast her eyes down, watching her hands tremble in her lap. Her poofy lap, with childish tights straining against the bulk of padding that Astra had put her in. “I uh – yeah, it’s great. Astra’s over the moon, it’s her dream come true. I’m going to be a full-time baby girl.”

“Is that what you want?” Nohemi leaned on the couch arm. “You don’t look happy.”

“It’s a big thing, is all.” Sarita wiped at her eyes. “Moving is stressful – you know. It’s a little scary but I’ll make it work. I don’t really have a choice.”

“What does that mean? Sarita – please, what’s going on?”

Sarita stared at Nohemi. For a moment, she thought she could hold firm – could keep her problems from crashing on Nohemi. All at once, her façade crumbled. “I lost my job. Astra’s saving me.”

Nohemi’s eyes went wide and Sarita rushed to reassure her friend. “She knows I’m broke, I didn’t trick her! Astra is good at taking care of people, she really wants to do this. I – I’ll get used to being a baby girl. I like it a lot sometimes. It can be fun all the time too, I’m sure. She loves me. I lo – lo – she’s my Angel.”

“You’re doing this because you need a place to live?” Nohemi’s condescending disbelief was heartbreaking.

“Have you ever been homeless?” Sarita balled up her fists, feeling rage well up inside her. “Well I have! I was homeless for two weeks and it was terrifying! I wasn’t even on the street. I can’t – the street swallows people up. I had a friend who was living on the street and one day she was just – gone.”

“You don’t have to be homeless.” Nohemi frowned.

“Who’s going to pay my rent, you?” Sarita slammed her fist into her couch in frustration. “Even if you could, that’s not fair.”

“I mean, it’s your decision…” Nohemi straightened up, biting her lip. She wrapped her arms around herself, watching Sarita cautiously. Sarita glared back, daring Nohemi to explain away all her problems, like Sarita was going to be able to magically fix everything in her life. The whole point is that I suck and I can’t make it on my own! Astra’s better than lots of people I could end up with.

“Look, I don’t want to get into a fight, I…” Nohemi’s frown hardened, she shook her head. “But if you want to fight, I will. This isn’t okay.”

“Why, because it’s not how YOU would do it?”

“Because you don’t want this! I’m not great at reading people’s emotions but yours are clear! You don’t want to be Astra’s full time baby and I don’t blame you!” Nohemi shuddered and tugged at her hair. “Sarita, what happens if you break up? Then you’ll really be out on the street.”

“That’s why I can’t break up!” Sarita shouted. “I’ll do what she says, and be a good baby girl, and it’ll be fine!”

“NO.” Nohemi set her jaw and stepped forward. “That’s not fine. That’s not right, and I won’t let you do it unless there’s no other way.”

“There IS no other way! My dad is in Mexico, I can’t get there without Nero dying in an airplane cargo compartment. Dad can’t pay my rent either. I can’t ask Pauline to take me in, if that’s what you want. Am I supposed to guilt trip her into letting me move in?” Sarita sobbed and pressed her palms against her eyes until she saw stars. “There’s nobody else!”

“There’s me.” Nohemi spoke confidently into the echo left by Sarita’s shout. “There’s Pauline, Tanner, and Oriana. Nieves and Paul count too. You have Ineis at The Pony.”

“I can’t ask you to save me! Astra already wanted to do it!”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering.”

“But Pauline and Tanner and – and everybody aren’t.” Sarita whimpered, breaking into a fresh round of sobs.

“You’re about to be surprised.” Nohemi kneeled down next to Sarita on the couch. “Please let me find you some options. Please, Sarita. I can’t bear for you to be so sad – to stay in a relationship that hurts you. I care about you too much.”

“It’s too late. I already arranged everything with Astra.”

“My mom used to say that it’s never too late until we’re dead.” Nohemi put her hand on Sarita’s leg. “Let me try, please. If I can’t find you another option, I’ll help you pack to move in with Astra.”

“Really?” Sarita blinked away tears in confusion.

“Really. I promise.” Nohemi put her hand over her heart, like the over-serious dork she was. Sarita laughed through her sobs and nodded.

“Okay. Wh-what would you do?”

“The first thing is, you said you lost your job. Did you quit, or were you fired?”

“Neither.” Sarita sniffled. “Britt took me off the schedule, but she says I might get hours next week.”

“If she cut you off for a whole week, you can file for unemployment.” Nohemi nodded fervently at Sarita’s confused look. “The state counts it the same as firing.”

“Oh.”

“Unemployment takes a while, do you have any savings?”

“Um – I made some tips at the Fairy but they probably aren’t enough.”

“You made the Munch group a huge amount of money. Tanner was gushing about it. Part of the Munch money is an emergency fund for members. You wouldn’t be the first ABDL to suddenly have housing problems.”

“I can’t just – just…”

“Tanner manages the fund, it’s up to him. I’m going to call him. About the fund and another thing too.”

“Mimi – why?” Sarita sniffled. “Why are you trying so hard with me?”

“I love you, Sarita.” Before Sarita’s world could turn upside down, Nohemi ruffled her hair. Oh, like a little sister. That makes sense. For a minute I thought Nohemi was really in love with me.

“You have a lot of people that care about you, even if you don’t realize it. Give me a chance to mobilize the troops, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks Mimi.”

“Of course, tonta.” Nohemi took a seat on the couch and patted Sarita’s feet. “How long do we have until Astra comes back?”

“I don’t know. She said she had to work late and apologized a bunch. There wasn’t a time mentioned.”

“We have until pretty late then.” Nohemi smiled and pulled out her phone. “That’s good. Before I start calling people, I want to let you know that I’m not taking over, I’m not going to fix this for you.”

“You – you’re not?” Sarita’s belly flip flopped. Then what was that whole speech about?

“No. I’m going to give you a second choice. You get to pick which one you do.”

“Oh.” Sarita smiled weakly. Please don’t do that again Mimi, my heart can’t take it. “I get it. Thank you.”

Nohemi squeezed Sarita’s leg and dialed one of her contacts. “Hey Tanner, it’s Nohemi. Yeah, I know. I’m sorry I don’t call more, but this is an emergency. I need to talk to you about the Munch’s member support fund, and I’m calling in the favor you owe me.”

Favor? What favor? Damn it Mimi, what are you doing? Sarita listened to Nohemi’s half of the phone conversation, her jaw dropping when Mimi asked Tanner if he knew anyone who was hiring. Her attempt to protest was shut down by Nohemi’s open palm in her face.

Oh, very mature Mimi, “talk to the hand”? What is this, grade school? The irony of Sarita complaining about Nohemi’s maturity while she was thickly diapered was painful. Sarita waddled off to check on Nero while Nohemi wrapped up her conversation with Tanner and rang Oriana.

Nero had gone into full hiding mode under the bed. No matter what Sarita did, coaxing him with treats, telling him that Nohemi was visiting, or grabbing for him – she couldn’t get Nero out of the corner he’d backed himself into. Rolling her eyes at her cat, Sarita wandered back to the bedroom.

“There you are.” Nohemi shoved her phone in her pocket. “Tanner was impressed with your decorating job, he said the colors were really good. I mentioned that you do graphic design sometimes, and he asked if you had any samples. Do you?”

“Uh – I have some mock-ups I made once when I was putting a portfolio together.” Sarita sighed. “I never finished the portfolio though.”

“Can you send Tanner whatever you have? I’ll text you his email.”

“Sure.” Pulling up the old designs was agonizing. Every mistake and janky choice stood out like it was outlined in fluorescent orange. Sarita swallowed her artistic pride and sent the images off to Tanner. “What now?”

“Oriana and Nieves are on their way to pick up Paul, then they’ll come here. Tanner will join us when he can, but he’s at work.” Nohemi hesitated. “I didn’t call Pauline. I will, if you need me to, but I think you should call her.”

“I can’t.” Sarita whimpered. “I’ve been so awful to her. I was going to ditch her – again!”

“You were scared. Nothing permanent has happened yet. I know she cares about you. Do you care about her?”

“I love her,” Sarita whispered, shamefacedly.

“Then she needs to be here.”

“Can I text her, instead of calling?”

Nohemi chuckled. “Yes.”

Sarita nodded and searched the living room until she found her phone. The message she sent was as short as she could manage without freaking Pauline out – she hoped. “Pauline – Something bad happened and I’m freaking out. Mimi is helping me but if you can, I want you here. If you can’t, it’s okay.”

Pauline’s reply was almost instant. “I’m on my way.”

“She’s coming – she didn’t even ask what’s going on.” Sarita felt tears dribble down her cheeks. It felt like she’d never done anything but cry.

“Of course she is, and of course she didn’t.” Nohemi squeezed Sarita in a crushing hug. “Is it that hard to believe that people care about you, pequeñita?”

“I’m a screw-up. People get sick of it.”

“No, you’re a Sarita.” Nohemi squeezed Sarita again and sat her on the couch. “You can really hurt yourself by saying you are something bad. Don’t stick a bad noun to yourself. Realize that you did a bad verb, but that it isn’t you.”

“What?”

“You’re not a screw-up. You might have screwed something up, but failing doesn’t make you a failure.” Nohemi shrugged. “It’s a thing my therapist told me. She helped me see that I was putting a lot of bad stuff on myself that didn’t belong there.”

Sarita looked down and chewed over Nohemi’s words. Her past stretched out before her, full of failures and mistakes. What would it be like if those were just things I did, instead of who I am? Though she didn’t have enough time to process a grand revelation, Sarita felt a bloom of hope.

“Thanks Mimi.”

“I hope it helps. I’m not good with wise words, but I can remember what people said that helped me.”

Sarita had enough energy left to smile and nod gratefully at Nohemi. They sat quietly until the next knock on the door. Oriana, Nieves, and Paul entered with noisy concern. Their first order of business was to envelop Sarita in a four-way-hug, upgrading it to five-way when Oriana ordered Nohemi to join.

The hug gave Sarita the courage to tell her friends an abbreviated version of what was happening. To her relief, they didn’t interrogate her about her baby outfit, or where she’d been planning to move. Hearing that she’d lost her job and didn’t have rent money was enough to energize them into an outpouring of support.

“Tanner will totally give you some money.” Paul took a seat on the floor next to Sarita. She was surprised to hear loud crinkles accompany his movements. “You made so much with the diapers, more than ever before.”

“But that’s for the Munch.” Sarita looked Paul over carefully and was amused to see what she’d thought was his shirt was actually a onesie who’s bottom was covered by Paul’s baggy jeans.

“I’m sure the next time people will still be hyped to buy your stuff. The hype might not last past the next time, but you already did a lot.” Paul nodded. “Don’t blow me off just because I’m Little. Tanner and I talk about how the Munch money gets handled.”

“If you can’t keep this place, you can crash our couch for at least two weeks.” Oriana sat on the couch, squeezing herself between Nohemi and Sarita. Things got really crowded when Nieves took a seat on Oriana’s lap.

“I can make the same offer.” Nohemi peeked over Oriana and smiled encouragingly.

“You guys…” Sarita sniffled.

“No more crying!” Paul bumped his head against Sarita’s arm and wormed his way into a snuggle. “You already cried a lot today. I’m sure you’ll be okay with the Munch money, and a month of places to crash.”

Paul’s words were sounding temptingly true. Hesitantly, Sarita let herself believe that something good was going to happen. The positive omens were confirmed when Nero came out from hiding and crawled over all her friends, ending his tour in Nohemi’s lap.

“Pspspsps!” Paul waved his hand urgently at Nero. The little black emperor ignored him and curled up on Nohemi’s lap, tucking his tail over his nose.

“Let him be. He’ll come to you when he thinks you don’t want him.” Sarita chuckled.

“But I do want him.” Paul pouted fussily.

“You’ll have to pretend. Haven’t you ever had a cat bef…” Sarita jumped at the loud knocking sound from her door. Before anyone else could get up, she vaulted over the couch back and fast-waddled to the door.

Sarita’s relief at seeing Pauline was so strong that she wet herself. There wasn’t time to worry about that reaction, especially with how well padded she was. She pulled Pauline into the apartment and hugged her desperately.

“Hi there hon.” Pauline squeezed Sarita tightly. “What’s going on? The whole gang’s here.”

“Can we talk – in my bedroom?” Sarita looked up at Pauline plaintively.

“Of course.” Pauline followed Sarita to the bedroom with worried curiosity on her face.

Sarita took a seat on the bed and patted a spot next to her. “My life is – melting down. I got fired or laid off or something today.”

“Oh no, sweetie!” Pauline took her seat and squeezed Sarita’s hand. “What can I do to help?”

“Wait – before you offer that, I have to tell you what I did.” I’m doing it, Mimi. This better work out, or I’m going to cry snot all over your pretty vest. Sarita watched Pauline nervously, but she didn’t seem upset, only concerned.

“I panicked and – I told Astra that I’d be her full time baby girl.” Sarita trembled and closed her eyes. Rejection on Pauline’s face would be unbearable. “Please let me finish! I – I knew she’d take me in. Being homeless is so scary – I know a little bit about what it’s like. So I ran to her but – I don’t love her. I don’t like how she wants me to be only a baby. I love you.”

“Why didn’t you ask me if you could move in?”

“Because – because I didn’t want to ruin what we had – what we have.” Sarita sniffled. “I care about you too much to – to be that girl who moved in with her girlfriend and never had money for rent and was a lump in the living room and – and…”

“I think I get it.” Pauline bonked her forehead against Sarita’s. “That’s sweet. Really, really stupid, but sweet.”

“It’s too soon for us to move in together!”

“I agree. But I would have tried to help somehow. What changed your mind?”

“Um – Mimi told me I was being stupid and I yelled at her, and she didn’t go away even though she totally should have, and then I finally listened to her.”

Pauline gently but firmly karate-chopped Sarita on the head. “You almost panicked yourself into a scary relationship trap.”

“I know, and I feel awful. For you – and for Astra. She loves me – and it’s not like I don’t care about her.” Sarita flopped onto her side and wormed her head into Pauline’s lap. “Now I promised something to her that I don’t want to – that I can’t do, and she’s going to be really hurt.”

“Yeah, she is.” Pauline sighed and stroked Sarita’s hair. “Are you going to be able to do the right thing when you talk to her? Maybe you can call her to make it easier.”

“I don’t know. She’s um – coming here. Tonight. I’m not sure when.”

“Are we being filmed? Is this a reality show about queer disasters?”

“Don’t make fun!”

“Sarita, I have to make a little bit of fun of you or I’ll bonk you again.”

“You could spank me.”

“First of all, not with our entire friend group out there. Second, no, because sexy play is not a substitute for talking stuff out.”

“Not even in ABDL relationships?”

“No hon, god no.”

“Oh. Because that’s how Astra and I did stuff.”

“What?”

“If we had a fight – she’d spank me or put soap in my mouth or whatever, and that would fix it.”

“That – did not fix it.” Pauline shook her head. “Did you ever talk to her about that?”

“I tried once. I set boundaries and stuff but – she’s so strong.”

“Sweetie, you are breaking my heart.”

“Did I really break it?” Sarita scrunched her eyes closed, tensing like she would against a physical blow. “Are we – over?”

“No, we aren’t.” Pauline sighed. “But we have a lot of conversations coming up about this. I can never feel safe with you. You always have one foot out the door.”

Ouch. Sarita opened her eyes, looked up at Pauline and nodded. I deserved that. But – like Mimi said, I did a bad thing, but I’m not bad. Sarita wasn’t sure if she believed it, but she was only feeling regular guilty, not heartburn-inducing guilty. It was an improvement, at least.

A soft knock at the bedroom door made both girls look up. “It’s Nohemi. I have Tanner on the phone for you, Sarita.”

Gracias a dios that it’s not Astra. Yet. “Okay, coming.” Sarita took Nohemi’s phone from her with a mouthed thanks. “Hi, it’s Sarita.”

“Hi Sarita, it’s Tanner. I sent your designs to a client of mine. She runs a graphic design studio and she really liked them.”

“She did?”

“Are you available for a job interview tomorrow?”

“Uh – yeah, any time!”

“Great. My client’s name is Colleen. Her studio is Ardent Graphic and Design. I’ll text you the address. Her preferred time is eleven tomorrow morning.”

“I’ll be there. Thank you!”

“You’re welcome. It’s no problem, she’s been looking for another designer for a while, but this isn’t a promise that you have a job. You have to pass the interview.”

“I understand.” Sarita wiped her sleeve across her eyes. “It’s still a huge help.”

“It’s really nothing. You can tell Nohemi I still owe her a favor. Did Paul talk to you about the Munch emergency fund?”

“He did but…”

“Good! Then I’ll let him handle that. There’s plenty of money in there. If you need to draw up to an entire month’s rent, you can. We can talk about paying the money back to the fund later, when you’re not worried about housing insecurity. You’ve contributed more than most members to the fund anyway.”

“Tanner – thank you. I don’t know what to say.”

“Me either, and I’m already late for a meeting with a client. I’m working late but I’ll come by to pick Paul up tonight, if you don’t mind him hanging around until then.”

“Of course, he’s welcome to hang out.”

“Great. I’ll talk to you later. Sorry for the short call, I wanted to let Colleen know about the interview right away. Bye.”

“Bye.” Sarita stared at the phone in wonder.

“Well?” Pauline was bouncing on the bed. Nohemi was still at the door, looking expectantly.

“I have a job interview tomorrow at eleven.” Sarita felt like she was speaking underwater, in a dream. “At a graphic design studio – to be a designer.”

“That’s amazing!” Pauline jumped off the bed and grabbed Sarita, spinning her around. Nohemi’s face flashed by in Sarita’s spinning vision, smiling happily.

“I might not get it. It’s just an interview.” Sarita couldn’t stop smiling, despite her words.

“You got a next-day interview. You have a chance at least.” Nohemi said firmly. There was a rumble of conversation outside the bedroom. Nohemi turned to look.

“For real!” Pauline nodded.

“Princess! What’s going on!” Astra’s voice came clearly across the apartment.

With a bottomless pit in her stomach, Sarita disengaged from Pauline and pushed past Nohemi into the living room. She could have cut the awkwardness with a knife and served it like cake. There would have been more than enough awkward-cake for everyone. All her friends’ faces had strained expressions at seeing Astra the doorway with the key in her hand.

“Angel.” Sarita felt the full force of Astra’s hurt, confused gaze. Her guilt squeezed her stomach and set her chest burning. “We have to talk.”

“I think we do.” Astra blinked away tears. “Can we please – talk privately?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I can.” Sarita winced at Astra’s incredulous look. “I have trouble saying what I need to say when we talk alone.”

“That’s – that’s not fair! I ask you how you’re feeling! I’ve been doing my best. You – you called me! You asked me to be my baby girl, I didn’t push you into it.”

“Astra.” Oriana’s voice was quiet, but she made it carry. “Please don’t yell. Sarita doesn’t do well with that. Nobody does, really.”

“I’m sorry but I feel really ganged up on!” Astra’s voice had a strong note of panic in it, her hands were trembling. “There’s nobody on my side here. I came over expecting to help my Princess pack and – and I don’t even know what I walked into.”

“It’s not fair – and it’s my fault.” Sarita sighed. “I guess – I guess we can talk in the bedroom. But please, Angel – let me talk and listen to me, like you did with the sugar packets.”

“Of course, you know I’ll do anything for you.” Astra closed the apartment door and smiled pleadingly at Sarita. “I don’t know what happened, but I can fix this. Please don’t be mad, Princess, I can make this work.”

Nohemi and Pauline sidled gingerly out of the bedroom. Sarita winced. Honestly, someone should be filming this. It would make great reality TV. As Astra strode forward, Sarita retreated to the bedroom.

In the doorway, Nohemi caught Astra’s arm. “Don’t bully her.”

Astra’s glare could have melted steel. There was explosive fury in her tone when she retorted, “I am going to fight for my love.”

The last thing Sarita saw before the bedroom door closed was Nohemi’s worried frown. Then there was just her Angel, looming in front of her with a face full of hurt.

“Princess, how could you do this to me? You didn’t text me to warn me what I was going to find when I came here. Do you know how hurtful that was?”

Sarita closed her eyes, wincing. What am I going to say? There’s no way out of this that doesn’t end in screaming and tears – is there

[Guilend]

Okay now I'm here on lunch in the break room at work,  CRYING. Thanks

[SolSombraYSoldados]

1 hour ago, Guilend said:

Okay now I'm here on lunch in the break room at work,  CRYING. Thanks

Happy Thursday? ?

[kerry]

On 3/16/2023 at 10:54 AM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

“You’re not a screw-up. You might have screwed something up, but failing doesn’t make you a failure.” Nohemi shrugged. “It’s a thing my therapist told me. She helped me see that I was putting a lot of bad stuff on myself that didn’t belong there.”

I think if more people understood this distinction the world would be a much better place.

[SolSombraYSoldados]

The penultimate chapter is here!

 

-----

 

22

Astra grabbed a tissue from the decorative box on Sarita’s dresser and blew her nose. Astra bought those for me to pretty up the room. Or to make it more like her apartment. Sarita realized she could hardly recognize her apartment after all of Astra’s changes.

Sarita’s brow furrowed as she stared up at Astra, aka, Sarita’s Angel. Their relationship had always been a roller coaster. She couldn’t remember a single date or day together that didn’t have some deeply uncomfortable moments. At the same time, the joys had been incredible.

Now her Angel was staring at Sarita with real pain in her eyes. Sarita wasn’t ready to go back on her statement that she didn’t love Astra, but she was surprised by how much she cared that she was the cause of that pain. Guilt crumpled Sarita’s spine and sent her staggering back on the bed.

Reflexively, Sarita wet herself. That was something that always made her Angel happy – but it won’t help this time. More than anything she wanted to cry, fall back on the bed, and let Astra change her diaper. Change her diaper, her life, her apartment, and take away every hard or expensive problem she had.

The only problem with that fantasy is that it came with a leaden heart. Months or years of having her feelings minimized or ignored was what she had to look forward to as Astra’s baby. That, on top of being a baby to a degree that she wasn’t sure she could manage. Remembering Astra’s plans for a crib steeled Sarita’s resolve.

“Princess, if you just sit there silently I can’t fix whatever’s…”

“I’m sorry, Angel. I had to get my thoughts together.” Sarita sighed. “I’m sorry you came to the apartment like this. It wasn’t nice of me to not tell you. I – I thought you were coming later, because you had to work late.”

“I did – I still do. I wanted to see you on my dinner break.”

I’m the worst. The absolute worst. Sarita hung her head. “That’s so nice of you. You’ve been amazingly good to me, and I don’t always thank you like I should.”

“I’m still going to be good to you. Princess, baby girl, I’m sure this can be fixed. Please, tell Mommy what’s the problem. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

“That’s the problem…” Sarita braced herself for a storm. “A relationship isn’t a you thing. It has to be both of us fixing it, not just you.”

“You want to be my baby girl. That means I take care of things for you. It’s not a regular relationship, but the diapers aren’t regular either.” Astra crouched down next to Sarita. “Princess, please, tell me what’s going on. Did Nohemi bully you into all this?”

“Nohemi has never bullied me.” Sarita put a hand on Astra’s. “She gave me a choice. You – don’t give me enough choices. If I move in with you, you’ll take the ones I have left away.”

“That’s what makes it so beautiful! No choices mean no worries. You can be happy every day, without a crease in that pretty forehead. It’s all for you, baby girl, it’s all about you.”

“No.” Sarita shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. “It’s all about you. What you want. That you’re the best mommy ever. I love it when you take care of me – but I don’t want no choices at all. I don’t want to be your baby girl.”

Astra’s jaw dropped. Her face looked hollow, pained like Sarita had physically struck her. Weaving dangerously on her high heels, Astra stood and took a step back.

“I’m sorry, I really am, Angel…”

“Don’t call me that!” Astra pressed her hands over her heart. “Don’t call me that unless you mean it. If I’m your Angel – then you can say it. If not – say my name.”

“Astra…” Sarita watched Astra come apart before her eyes. The tall blonde fell to her knees, sobbing wretchedly.

“This is it. You’re breaking up with me.” Astra looked desperately at Sarita through a mask of tears. “Why, Princess? Why? All I want is for us to be happy.”

“I can’t do it the way you want. It’s too much.”

“Then I’ll change it! Whatever you want! I’m sorry I didn’t do it right, but I’ll do it perfectly this time, I promise!” Astra lurched over to Sarita and grabbed her hands tightly. “Please! Please Princess. Give me another chance. I’ll be the perfect mommy, you’ll see.”

“It’s not – Astra, I don’t want the perfect mommy, I want a girlfriend that I can be Little with but…”

“I can do that! I was doing that, and you loved it. We had so much fun together. This is coming out of nowhere, I don’t understand. I did everything right!”

Sarita shuddered, tears spilling down her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I can’t – what if we did break up at some point? I’d be back where I am now, no job, no apartment, no money…”

“I’ll put twenty thousand dollars in your account.” Astra squeezed Sarita’s hands. “That’ll fix it.”

“Wha – what?”

“You can leave the money there, you won’t need to pay for anything. I’ll be Mommy and you’ll be my Princess. We won’t break up – but if we did you’d be safe!”

Sarita blinked her tears away. The room was spinning around her. Technically that would solve the money thing. I wouldn’t feel like I couldn’t break up with her.

“Say yes and I’ll put the money in right now, before you ever move in, so you know it’s there.” Astra’s hopeful smile was heartbreaking. “See? I can fix it. You wouldn’t expect me to be able to do something like that, but I can. I’m a top saleswoman, I’m on the Green Fairy board, and I can be the most perfect mommy you’ll ever have.”

Astra leaned up to kiss Sarita. Salty and anxious, the kiss was as awkward as it was comforting. “Just say yes, Princess. I can make it work no matter what the problem is, you see?”

“It’s still not we.” Sarita shivered. She felt acid rising in her throat, there were sparkles in her vision. If she hadn’t already been sitting, leaning against Astra, she’d have been on the floor. “It’s always I. There’s no We when you talk. I’m not there – your princess could be any baby girl, and it wouldn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters! You’re the perfect baby girl. I’ve never seen a girl take to diapers and being Little like you. You’re beautiful and adorable – a perfect Princess.”

“No – I’m a Sarita.” Her limbs trembled like she was sitting in snow. “I’m sorry – Astra – I can’t be your Princess. This is – we have to – I don’t think we should see each other anymore as girlfriends, or as Mommy and Little.”

Astra stopped breathing. For a long moment – too long – she stared breathless at Sarita. Finally she gasped, coughed, and fell away from Sarita to sit on the floor. “Why? Why won’t anyone love me? I give everything. All I want is a Princess of my own. I really thought – Sarita you were the one. I love you.”

“I’m so sorry. I should never have called you when I did. I was scared, I knew you’d protect me. Being your baby was something I thought I could do – until it was happening.”

“I don’t know how much harder I can try.” Astra got clumsily to her feet, grabbing a handful of tissue and scrubbing at her face. “What more can I do? Please, Sarita, what did I do wrong?”

“You didn’t let me be me.” Sarita said in a tiny voice. “I was supposed to go in the princess mold you already had – and I didn’t fit.”

“I thought you fit.” Astra sobbed. “You’ve been upset about this for a while. I wish you’d told me earlier.”

“I tried. Remember the sugar packets?” Sarita shook her head sadly. “They lasted one date, then you were back to deciding who I was.”

“I suppose – I should go.” Astra made a whimpering noise in her throat. “There’s nobody who wants me here. I’m sure most of the people here are excited for me to be gone.”

“I’ll open the door first.” Sarita wobbled to her feet. “Tell them to be nice to you.”

“Thank you pr-Sarita.”

Sarita gingerly stepped past Astra. The space between them was a fresh wound – too painful to reach across.. She put her hand on the doorknob and turned back to Astra. “Astra – I hope you find your Princess someday.”

“Don’t do that.” Astra set her jaw and wiped at her eyes. “Don’t pity me.”

“Sorry.” Sarita nodded and opened the door. She was greeted by a line of people across her living room, all staring at the door. That’s pretty intimidating. I’m glad Astra didn’t walk into that.

“Hey everybody – Astra’s going to go. Please uh – stand down or whatever. I’d appreciate it if everyone was nice to her while she’s leaving.”

“Of course.” Nohemi nodded firmly. Everyone else agreed, though Oriana and Pauline seemed to have reservations. At Nohemi’s direction – Nieves, Paul, and Oriana sat on the couch. Pauline retreated to the kitchen.

“Okay Astra. Um – if you want to talk later we could…”

“Goodbye Sarita.” Astra pressed her copied apartment key into Sarita’s hand. She took a moment to stand up straight and fix her hair before boldly stepping out into the living room.

As Astra reached the door, Nohemi moved to join her. “Astra, I’m sorry.”

“What for? You won.” Astra looked sad and irritated, but mostly she looked tired. Even her best bravado wasn’t enough to restore her trademark shine.

“No, I didn’t. Nobody won today.” Nohemi shook her head. “You know, I wish we were still friends. I miss the Astra I knew when we first found out about the Fairy.”

“Why?” Astra frowned. “After – everything, why?”

Nohemi shrugged. “I’m a fool, I guess.”

Astra shook her head and opened the apartment door. She stepped through, but hesitated. “We could get coffee. Next week, maybe.”

“You have my number.” Nohemi smiled sadly as Astra nodded and closed the door.

“I’m sorry, everybody.” Sarita waddled into the room, wincing at the extra bulk in her already thick diaper. “That was so much drama – and it was all my fault.”

“No, it wasn’t all yours.” Pauline wrapped her arms around Sarita from behind. “You are not blameless, but Astra did a lot of line-crossing stuff.”

“Not for the first time either!” Oriana said.

“Let’s not all pile on Astra. She got carried away, but she’s not evil.” Nohemi sighed ruefully. “Sarita did a dumb thing, but that doesn’t make her a dumb baby. Her wet diaper is what makes her a dumb baby.”

“Mimi!” Sarita had meant to shout her protest, but it came out as a squeak when Pauline squeezed her.

“Are you really wet? Oh my god, what a total baby.” Nieves snickered and hopped off the couch onto the floor. “You better come sit on the floor with the other babies.”

“Yeah!” Paul quickly joined Nieves, scooting over to leave a spot for Sarita. “We’ve all had a bunch of big emotions and now the Bigs have to make us hot chocolate.”

“We have to do what now?” Nohemi’s eyebrows shot up.

“I’m holding a pretty sad Little girl – we should probably humor them, or the condition might spread to the other Littles.” Pauline walked Sarita over to Paul and Nieves, gave her diaper a big squish, and sat her down with them.

“Way to throw us under the bus, Pauline.” Oriana smirked. “You’ve got a lot to learn about Big solidarity.”

“I know where Sarita keeps her chocolate.” Nieves laughed and got out a pan.

“You’re really not mad at me?” Sarita looked around at her friends. “I know I made a lot of trouble – oh god, the next Green Fairy night is going to be a nightmare.”

“No it’s not.” Nieves firmly grabbed Sarita, pulling her over for a hug. “We’re going to have a great time. It’s the Fairy! We’re going to dance all night.”

“You dance?” Sarita asked hopefully.

“Who doesn’t?” Paul flopped onto the hug, pinning Sarita to Nieves.

“Um, a little personal space, Littles?”

“Nope.” Nieves shook her head. “Not until the cocoa gets here.”

“This is Little therapy.” Paul threw a leg over Sarita’s lap. “Enforced snuggling.”

“Th-thanks.” Sarita shuddered and clung tightly to her fellow Littles. Paul’s Little therapy was ridiculous – an unbearably corny joke. It was also exactly what Sarita needed. She felt the sad void inside her close a little.

It’s so sad that Astra is going home to an empty apartment. What am I going to say to Pauline? This is such a mess. Paul is right. We need hot chocolate for this kind of situation.

~~~~*~~~~

An unspoken agreement between the group kept the conversation light. The most anyone would discuss the evening’s drama was to tease Sarita for being a dramatic queer. Of course, Nohemi had to mention Felisa – which lead to Sarita re-telling the Taco Truck Fire story to Nieves, Oriana, and Paul. Drunk on chocolate and laughter, Sarita felt peace inside herself for the first time in a while. It was great to have her apartment full of friends, laughter, and Nero who was somehow in a good mood with the rest of them.

Nieves and Oriana were the first to go. Pauline stayed as long as she could – longer than she should have, likely. Nohemi stuck the evening out, declaring that someone had to keep an eye on the Littles until Tanner arrived.

When Tanner did arrive, he had a hug for everyone and a diaper bag for Paul. After co-opting Sarita’s bedroom to change his Little, he pressed an envelope full of big bills into Sarita’s hand.

“So that you don’t have to ask for it.” Was all Tanner would say on the matter. Any attempt of Sarita’s to discuss repayment was put off in Tanner’s words, “Until the crisis is over.”

With more hugs, Tanner and Paul were gone. The city had gone quiet, except for the occasional siren. Nohemi and Sarita sat on the couch, Nohemi’s arm draped over Sarita’s shoulders. Nero seized the opportunity to be on not one but two laps, purring like mad.

Finally, Nohemi stretched, dislodged an indignant black cat, and sighed. “I’ve got to get back to my place. Are you going to be okay?”

Sarita struggled to her feet. She’d wet again after the hot chocolate – deliberately that time – and was chagrined at how soggy her diaper was. “I’ll be fine, thank you. Um, Mimi, would you…”

Realizing what she was about to ask for, Sarita shook her head. “Never mind, sorry, I can’t ask you to…”

“You need a diaper change?” Nohemi smiled, patting Sarita’s padding. The bulk had long since popped the snaps on her onesie, and was hanging low between Sarita’s legs.

“No, you don’t have to – I didn’t mean to ask.”

“It’s a lonely thing to do it yourself after you’ve had someone to do it for you. Believe me, I know.” Nohemi took Sarita’s arm and guided her back to the bedroom. “You don’t need any lonely feelings tonight.”

Hardly believing it was going to happen, Sarita wiggled back on her bed. Nohemi was gentle, peeling Sarita’s diaper off with confidant hands. She chucked it in the pail Astra had purchased, and wiped Sarita down with slow strokes.

“Do you want me to put you in another one?”

“I have to be an adult for my interview tomorrow but – I was kind of thinking of curling up with Nero and my mom’s old blanket and…”

“So yes.” Nohemi smiled and slid a fresh diaper under Sarita.

Nohemi was casual about changing her,  Sarita was blown away at how comfortable Nohemi seemed as she patted the powder into place. That’s my Mimi. I doubt I’m her best friend, but she’s mine for sure. I knew she wouldn’t make it weird.

“Get some rest. It’s really late, and you need to be fresh for your interview. Do not get up later than nine am, promise me.”

“I promise! I really want the job.”

“Good girl.” Nohemi kissed Sarita on the forehead. She lingered, looking into Sarita’s eyes and caressing her cheek.

A little bubble of excitement bounced around Sarita’s chest. What would have happened if Astra hadn’t been at the Fairy that first night with Nohemi? Would we have ended up together?

Naw. She doesn’t see me that way. She makes a great mommy anyway. “Goodnight, Mimi.”

“Goodnight mija.”

[kerry]

I was not as entranced by this story at first as I was about your other ones. (I have no experience with the club scene in any form, which might account for that.) But I really like these characters and all of the interrelationships you have developed. I was worried about Astra becoming a variation of Beatrix, but I now know I should have trusted you not to do that. In fact, unless she does something in the final chapter remarkably unlike the character you've built here, I sort of understand Astra. She's blind to her own persuasiveness and domme characteristics. She wants what she wants and can't see what's wrong with that..and she sincerely believes that what she wants would be equally wonderful for her Littles. She is also, unfortunately, unable to consider their feelings on the matter. Very similar to Beatrix without the psychopathic part. She says she doesn't want pity, but I can't help feeling sorry for her: she will never experience the simple joys that all the others feel because, instead of letting things fall where they may and seeing where they lead, she feels a need to orchestrate and control every situation.

[SolSombraYSoldados]

5 hours ago, kerry said:

I was not as entranced by this story at first as I was about your other ones. (I have no experience with the club scene in any form, which might account for that.) But I really like these characters and all of the interrelationships you have developed. I was worried about Astra becoming a variation of Beatrix, but I now know I should have trusted you not to do that. In fact, unless she does something in the final chapter remarkably unlike the character you've built here, I sort of understand Astra. She's blind to her own persuasiveness and domme characteristics. She wants what she wants and can't see what's wrong with that..and she sincerely believes that what she wants would be equally wonderful for her Littles. She is also, unfortunately, unable to consider their feelings on the matter. Very similar to Beatrix without the psychopathic part. She says she doesn't want pity, but I can't help feeling sorry for her: she will never experience the simple joys that all the others feel because, instead of letting things fall where they may and seeing where they lead, she feels a need to orchestrate and control every situation.

I'm glad I was able to pull off making her a tragic figure, because she's supposed to be. Many of the characters in the story are neurodiverse, but particularly so for Sarita, Astra, and Nohemi.

You're right on the money that Astra's issues are interfering with her ability to consider the feelings of others - but it's not impossible. She doesn't want to do the work, she wants things to go the way she likes without her having to change.

Nohemi is an example of someone who has done a lot of the work to make sure she can be a good friend w/o losing who she is, while Sarita made that decision as she worked her way through the story.
Being a bit of a disaster, and very young, Sarita almost screwed it up right at the end. Certainly did some damage there too!

[SolSombraYSoldados]

The final chapter, which is really a dénouement, since we've already had the story's climax.

 

Next week - I'm not sure what story of mine I'm going to post here. We're actually catching up to my available free content, so I'm running low on stories that haven't been posted here.  Probably on Tuesday you'll see another AB Sitter story. 

 

-----

 

23

“Tell me how many colored squares are on this card.” Colleen looked like she was in her mid forties, impeccably attired in a sandstone colored dress, with a perfectly color-matched cardigan.

Sarita took the color sample from Colleen and carefully scrutinized it. She turned the heavy cardstock over in her hands, wondering if she’d been asked a trick question. So far, the interview had been very straightforward. Colleen had dismissed Sarita’s work history right away, since none of it pertained to graphic design. They’d talked about her portfolio, and why Sarita had made certain choices with her designs.

The office was bright and cheery – a nice distraction from the card that was making Sarita so nervous. She forced her eyes away from the collage of framed art pieces behind Colleen and looked at the card again. Five distinct shades of pink were arranged in blocks, from warmer to cooler shades. There was no space between the blocks, nor outlines around them. Am I supposed to say it’s just one block, because they’re arranged like a gradient?

“Um, five, right?” Sarita smiled nervously at Colleen. “I’m sorry, I don’t really get the question. Do you want me to talk about how they’re arranged from warm to cool?”

Colleen beamed. “Not at all, though I’m glad you noticed that. Five is the correct answer. You look at the card and see five shades. I look at the card and see five shades. The rest of my designers can pick out four at the most. The average person sees only three.”

“What?” Sarita frowned. Is she messing with me?

“Some people can see more colors than others. You’re one of them. I’ve been looking for someone with that talent for a while.”

“Oh – um, thanks! Does that mean I get the job?”

“Not the designer job, no.” Colleen held up a hand as Sarita’s face fell. “Your portfolio shows promise, but it’s amateur work. You don’t have any formal design training, do you Sarita?”

“No, I wanted to go to classes but – I never got a chance to save up the money.” I should have known I was too under-qualified.

“I want to offer you a job – as my apprentice.”

“What – what does that mean?” Dangerously intoxicating hope began to rise in Sarita’s chest.

“I’d hire you on full-time. You’d work under me or another designer until you complete some basic design courses. I estimate your apprenticeship would last between six months and a year, depending on how fast you learn.”

“That sounds amazing, but I wouldn’t be able to start the classes right away. Getting laid off wiped out my savings.” Not that I really had savings but – close enough.

“Don’t be silly, my company will pay for your classes. You’ll be on the clock for them too. I don’t want to hear about you skipping class, even if they make for long days.”

“You – you’ll pay for them?”

“Of course. They’re mandatory for your job, so they’re working time. You should never pay for mandatory training, Sarita.”

Colleen slid a beautiful red leather binder across her desk and opened it to reveal a notebook in fancy stationary. As she spoke, Colleen took a pen and wrote in the notebook. “Now, I can’t pay you a designer’s salary during your apprenticeship, that wouldn’t be fair to the other designers. While you’re an apprentice, I can offer you this wage. After you’re working on your own as a designer, the entry level wage is this…”

Colleen turned the notebook to face Sarita. She felt like she was floating. The apprentice wage was more per hour than she’d ever made at Grrl Power, even on her best commission month. The designer wage was half-again the apprentice wage. And that’s to start? Full time?!

“I know the apprentice wage is low, but we’re investing a lot in you with the classes, and you’ll get some overtime on days when you have class.” Colleen smiled apologetically. “Will that work for you?”

“Yes! Yes, absolutely. Thank you! This is a dream come true, really. I’ve wanted to be a graphic designer since – since middle school I guess.” Sarita was keenly aware that she was grinning like an idiot, but it was the only expression her euphoria would allow.

“I love that energy – you’re darling!” Colleen grinned. “Very good, now, it’s a forty hour week, eight to five, with an hour for lunch and two breaks. This is all in the employee handbook, but I like to go over it with new hires myself. Medical insurance is free for you, but you’ll need to take a deduction from your pay if you want to add any dependents…”

It took every ounce of Sarita’s willpower to keep from sobbing for joy, while Colleen casually outlined benefits that had been a pipe dream for Sarita’s entire working life. By the end she was so overwhelmed she almost told Colleen she didn’t need the vacation days.

After all the forms had been signed and Sarita had her first day scheduled, she stepped out into sunshine that was beaming down especially for her. Her first act was to call Tanner and thank him in a series of happy squeals that she hoped he was able to translate. Her daddy-friend seemed happy for her, anyway.

Bubbly like a fresh glass of champagne, Sarita skipped down the street to meet Pauline. As she went, she gushed about her new job to the Munch group chat. Nohemi and Oriana’s polite congratulations were utterly drowned by Paul and Nieves’ flood of excited gifs.

~~~~*~~~~

Sitting in a corner of the Munch’s coffee shop felt weird. Sarita realized she’d never been in the shop without going to the back room. The gorgeous girl across a little table from her more than made up for the weirdness. Pauline looked radiant in a marigold-yellow sundress. The tantalizing flashes of skin Sarita was able to see strongly suggested that Pauline was wearing the sundress and the sundress only.

I have never wanted to be in a public place less, Sarita agonized, as she gave up on keeping her gaze respectful. “Did I tell you about the vacation time?”

“Yes cutie, you did, but you can tell me again.”

“I’ve never had vacation time before.” Sarita took a big sip of her coffee and looked at Pauline sincerely. “I want to spend it with you – I want to be a better girlfriend.”

“Thank you for being the one to bring that up.” Pauline took Sarita’s hand and kissed it briefly. “We have a lot to talk about. More than one coffee date can handle.”

“I know.” Sarita took a deep breath and nodded seriously. “I’m sorry again for running to Astra. Are you okay?”

“Honestly? Not really.” Pauline sighed. “I was on a high, taking care of you during the drama and after. Everything hit different when I went home last night.”

“Was it too much?” I’m the Felisa now. Poor Pauline.

“No sweetie, it wasn’t. I still love your silly butt.” Pauline put her fingertips on her coffee cup to slowly rotate it. “Can we do a bit of a reset? I’d like to start over with no Astra. I want to be the only girl in your life.”

“I’d like that.” Sarita took a nervous gulp of her coffee. “And if you don’t want to do the Little thing, that’s okay. Of course!”

“I’d be sad if I didn’t have a Little Sarita sometimes. It’s not something I can do all the time though.”

Sarita nodded. “I don’t want it all the time. Do you think that um – Subby Pauline might turn up sometimes?”

Pauline pushed her coffee cup away, blushing. “She just might. Ugh, you meanie.”

“That sounds fun. Help me out if I’m being dumb – but what else do we have to talk about if we’re both okay with that stuff?”

Pauline rolled her eyes, smiling good-naturedly. “Everything, dummy. We have to communicate all the time, to make sure we’re both happy and okay with how things are going.”

“Oh.” Sarita ducked her head – it was her turn to blush. “Right. Like an adult relationship and stuff. I know how those do.”

“Fuuuuuck, why are you so cute?” Pauline scooted her chair around the table and pulled Sarita in for a kiss. Sarita sighed happily, wrapping her arms around Pauline.

“Hi Sarita, I’m Pauline.” Pauline nuzzled Sarita’s cheek. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

“Hi Pauline.” Sarita giggled. “I’d love to be your girlfriend. Will you be Little with me sometimes?”

“That sounds perfect.”

“No, don’t say that. Nothing is perfect, ever.” Sarita caught Pauline’s eyes with a serious gaze. “Astra wanted perfect all the time.”

“You’re right. It won’t be perfect. But it’ll be wonderful.” Pauline smiled. “See? That was communication. Oh! We could do a little board where you get gold stars every time you communicate plainly.”

“That’s – that’s – Pauline!” Sarita whined and bit her lip.

“When’s your first day of work?”

“This coming Monday.”

“So we have a weekend where I can baby you a little?”

“Yes please. But save some time for me to boss you around.”

“Mmm, I like that.” Pauline leaned in for another kiss. More than a minute later, the girls pulled away with bright pink cheeks.

“They’re going to kick us out of the coffee shop for PDA.” Sarita smiled shyly.

“My apartment is closer.” Pauline hopped up and gathered the coffee cups.

“Thank god.” Sarita grabbed her purse and new-employee binder. “I’ve wanted you out of that sundress since I saw it on you.”

“Then let’s go, love.” Pauline took Sarita’s hand.

~~~~*~~~~

The Green Fairy was bumping. Most people wouldn’t think an ABDL party could bump, or slap, or do any other cool thing, but Sarita knew better. She was dancing her heart out in Pauline’s yellow sundress. The dress was long enough on Sarita to cover her diaper no matter how much she danced. Just across from her was the sundress’ gorgeous owner, wearing a maternity dress that was devastating over a push-up bra. Nobody could hear Pauline crinkling under the heavy bass, but Sarita was sure her girlfriend was not only padded, but wet as well.

Paul and Nieves were dancing around the two of them, alternating between gagging and making kissy faces. Nieves managed to shout, “K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” in singsong loud enough to carry over the music. Sarita had to laugh. Eventually, Paul and Nieves’ antics drove the lovebirds off the dance floor. In reality, it was sweatiness and thirst that sent them looking for the lounge, but Sarita let her Little friends have their victory.

They found Nohemi, Oriana, and Tanner in the lounge – with snacks at the ready. Three Littles raided the table, nearly toppling it. It took several minutes for their respective bigs to get the Littles under control while Nohemi looked on in amusement.

“I finally got to dance!” Sarita enthusiasm had her spitting graham cracker across the table. That earned her a swat on the thigh from Pauline and a trip onto her girlfriend’s lap to be fed the rest of her snack.

“You danced before.” Nieves rolled her eyes. “At the one where you got the big spanking.”

“Snowbaby, that wasn’t a great night for Sarita, it’s not nice to bring it up.” Oriana poked Nieves in the side.

“It’s okay.” Sarita snuggled back into Pauline. “I don’t mind. But that night doesn’t count anyway because the only person I danced with was Jenevieve. She got weird on me.”

Paul swallowed a big wad of graham crackers and looked around. “Where is Jenevieve anyway? She never misses one of these.”

Nohemi’s face fell. “You didn’t hear? She poured her heart out to Astra – and the fallout was so bad she quit the club. She’s moving to Boston.”

“Damn, really?” Tanner shook his head. “She’s leaving town?”

Oriana nodded. “The breakup was here in the club. It was too much to recover from, even for her.”

“There’s Littles in Boston. Maybe she’ll be better off there,” Nieves said sagely.

“I’d never heard of ABDL before you guys. I’m still blown away by how many Littles there are everywhere.” Sarita accepted a cracker from Pauline and munched happily.

“It’s hard for new people to enter the scene, but it’s worth it.” Oriana smirked. “Even if they cause a bunch of drama.”

Sarita stuck a cracker-covered tongue out at Oriana, taking another thigh-swat for the privilege. Worth it!

“Hey guys, can I join you?” Inka waved at the group. She was in a cute unicorn onesie – with no diaper. Wearing a onesie like lingerie was a surprisingly hot look. Sarita resolved to show off that way for Pauline – or get her girlfriend into it soon.

“Of course, stranger.” Tanner smiled and scooted aside to make room for Inka.

“I know, I haven’t been to the munch in ages, my B!” Inka shrugged. “I have someone for you all to meet. She’s a good friend of mine from high school who’s back in town – and agreed to try this crazy thing.”

A sandy-haired girl stepped up to the group at Inka’s insistent wave. She had her hair in pigtails and was wearing a pair of overalls. The frog t-shirt under the overalls was super cute, and Sarita coveted it immediately.

“Hello everyone. I’m Milana.” Milana had a Slavic accent and a shy blush. She looked at least as nervous as Sarita had been at her first Munch meeting, and that had been at the coffee shop!

“Welcome!” Sarita bounced on Pauline’s lap. “You can sit by me if you want. I was new just a few months ago.”

“I don’t want to make everyone re-arrange.” Milana looked as awkward as she sounded, with her feet pigeon-toed.

“It’s no bother at all.” Tanner got up and grabbed a chair while Paul helped Oriana and Nieves shift over. Inka and Milana took their seats next to Sarita and Pauline. The first was hyper and the second quietly drawn in on herself.

Sarita studied Milana, trying to decide how best to welcome the girl to the group. She had strong Little energy for sure. As Sarita considered, Inka was listing off names and pointing people out for Milana. When Inka got to Nohemi, Sarita was shocked to see a blush on her friend’s face.

As Nohemi stammered out a greeting, Milana replied just as clumsily. Both girls fell silent, their blushes spreading to their ears. Oh. My. God. Sarita turned gleefully to Pauline, who was already smirking. Pauline nodded to Sarita and put a finger to her lips.

Right. Nohemi doesn’t need my help. Or if she does, the best way to do it is to help Milana get comfortable. Turning to Milana, Sarita held out a hand. “Hi, I’m the Taco Truck Fire Girlfriend.”

Milana had to laugh at that, along with the rest of the table. “That must be some story.”

“You’d think so, but wait until you hear how Sarita joined our group…” Nieves chuckled.

“Snowbaby, be nice.” Oriana bopped Nieves on the nose.

“Sarita brought it up, she has to tell the taco one at least!” Paul said with a wicked grin.

“I’ll tell both stories.” Sarita folded her arms across her chest. “Then Milana will know if she’s ever embarrassed, at least she hasn’t done what I did.”

Milana nodded. “This sounds like a good plan. Please, continue with humiliating yourself.” Nohemi laughed so loudly she snorted, drawing a smile from Milana.

“You asked for it.” Sarita took a gulp of apple juice and leaned back on Pauline’s lap. “A year and a half ago, a girl named Felisa and I were regulars at the Plush Pony…”

[kerry]

I have loved all of your stories. I'm sort of sad that I might need to wait for a new one. ?

[SolSombraYSoldados]

On 3/23/2023 at 12:17 PM, kerry said:

I have loved all of your stories. I'm sort of sad that I might need to wait for a new one. ?

❤️

No worries, there's a Monserrat story today and a pair of novellas ready to go.  

At some point though, I will have to go down to posting once a week, since the backlog is nearly gone.

[YourFNF]

On 3/13/2023 at 1:29 PM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

– Sarita didn’t see the point of arguing over colors. She imagined Astra loved going shopping, which would mean Sarita could pick colors as they bought things. Color matching is something I can do in our relationship!

The red flag parade continues...

I can't help but feel like this kind of internal bargaining is exactly what I would do in Sarita's situation... Hell how much of that did I do with my own parents and I just don't remember?

On 3/13/2023 at 1:29 PM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

The waters of her Little mindset came up to Sarita’s face fast, faster than with any other caregiver. They were warm waters though, comforting and supporting. If Sarita could manage the nervous bit where the water closed over her face, the rest was peaceful and dreamy.

I've actually had similiar experience a couple times when stressed and one of my Shards... Smol came out. Fun but kinda scary loosing control and being passenger. Also weird cause "prime" (for lack of a better term) found herself having to be a Big almost...??‍♀️

On 3/13/2023 at 1:29 PM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

Nothing’s chasing me, it’s just a dream. Before Sarita could believe herself, the creature grabbed her from behind. She shrieked and sat bolt upright, sliding across the bed. Her hand scrabbled across the bedside table, sending her phone clattering to the hardwood floor.

Oh honey.....

[YourFNF]

On 3/13/2023 at 1:29 PM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

t’s cheap and nothing works – but it’s mine. Or it was, anyway. Will Astra even let me get a job? Is she planning to give me an allowance or something instead? How would that work if we broke up?

Feeling suddenly sick to her stomach, Sarita flopped down on the couch. A nap sounded safer than questions that had no good answers. For the moment at least, she put herself in her Angel’s hands and pretended her problems didn’t exist.

And this is how people get into bad situations unfortunately... I could see myself going "It hasn't gotten really bad yet.. Like she's controlling but I can handle that.... If she puts hands on me I can like go to a hotel or a shelter for a day while I figure things out..."

On 3/16/2023 at 11:54 AM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

“Have you ever been homeless?” Sarita balled up her fists, feeling rage well up inside her. “Well I have! I was homeless for two weeks and it was terrifying! I wasn’t even on the street. I can’t – the street swallows people up. I had a friend who was living on the street and one day she was just – gone.”

Oh gods.... honey.... 1 year.... I get it girl.... I so totally get it.... Fuck I just want to give her a massive hug...

On 3/16/2023 at 11:54 AM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

But Pauline and Tanner and – and everybody aren’t.” Sarita whimpered, breaking into a fresh round of sobs.

“You’re about to be surprised.” Nohemi kneeled down next to Sarita on the couch. “Please let me find you some options. Please, Sarita. I can’t bear for you to be so sad – to stay in a relationship that hurts you. I care about you too much.”

“It’s too late. I already arranged everything with Astra.”

“My mom used to say that it’s never too late until we’re dead.” Nohemi put her hand on Sarita’s leg. “Let me try, please. If I can’t find you another option, I’ll help you pack to move in with Astra.”

This right here is what a ride or die friend looks like..

Nohemi is the actual angle and best girl!

On 3/16/2023 at 11:54 AM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

arita looked down and chewed over Nohemi’s words. Her past stretched out before her, full of failures and mistakes. What would it be like if those were just things I did, instead of who I am? Though she didn’t have enough time to process a grand revelation, Sarita felt a bloom of hope.

This has been a big theme in my personal recovery so like direct hit on the feels...

[YourFNF]

On 3/16/2023 at 11:54 AM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

“Good! Then I’ll let him handle that. There’s plenty of money in there. If you need to draw up to an entire month’s rent, you can. We can talk about paying the money back to the fund later, when you’re not worried about housing insecurity. You’ve contributed more than most members to the fund anyway.”

“Tanner – thank you. I don’t know what to say.”

Can I just say as an An-com I love this? Mutual aid in action!

[SolSombraYSoldados]

19 minutes ago, YourFNF said:

This right here is what a ride or die friend looks like..

Nohemi is the actual angle and best girl!

Best girl confirmed fo-sho. Sarita is the protagonist (unless you ask Nero), but Nohemi is the Hero.

[YourFNF]

Just now, SolSombraYSoldados said:

ut Nohemi is the Hero.

On 3/16/2023 at 11:54 AM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

ith a bottomless pit in her stomach, Sarita disengaged from Pauline and pushed past Nohemi into the living room. She could have cut the awkwardness with a knife and served it like cake. There would have been more than enough awkward-cake for everyone. All her friends’ faces had strained expressions at seeing Astra the doorway with the key in her hand.

Ohhhhhh fuck...

On 3/16/2023 at 11:54 AM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

arita closed her eyes, wincing. What am I going to say? There’s no way out of this that doesn’t end in screaming and tears – is there

On 3/20/2023 at 4:50 PM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

Don’t call me that!” Astra pressed her hands over her heart. “Don’t call me that unless you mean it. If I’m your Angel – then you can say it. If not – say my name.”

“Astra…” Sarita watched Astra come apart before her eyes. The tall blonde fell to her knees, sobbing wretchedly.

“This is it. You’re breaking up with me.” Astra looked desperately at Sarita through a mask of tears. “Why, Princess? Why? All I want is for us to be happy.”

“I can’t do it the way you want. It’s too much.”

“Then I’ll change it! Whatever you want! I’m sorry I didn’t do it right, but I’ll do it perfectly this time, I promise!” Astra lurched over to Sarita and grabbed her hands tightly. “Please! Please Princess. Give me another chance. I’ll be the perfect mommy, you’ll see.”

And this is why for all her fault I can actually sympathize with Astra unlike the last antagonist... Despite all her material success this woman is broken....

Honestly this feels like a side of NPD that nobody talks about because of how stigmatized it is.

The need to be savior

The fact she so devalues herself that she needs this larger than life persona....

It doesn't excuse the emotional abuse and controlling behavior but holy shit does it make it painful to watch her self destruct and destroy what could have been a beautiful polycue with Sarita and Pauline...

 

[YourFNF]

On 3/20/2023 at 4:50 PM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

“Why? Why won’t anyone love me? I give everything. All I want is a Princess of my own. I really thought – Sarita you were the one. I love you.”

Arm chair diagnosis is never going to be fully accurate but that feels like NPD...

Gods now I'm feeling so bad for Astra

This woman like legit needs help and I like legit sympathize

whoof

[SolSombraYSoldados]

5 minutes ago, YourFNF said:

Arm chair diagnosis is never going to be fully accurate but that feels like NPD...

Gods now I'm feeling so bad for Astra

This woman like legit needs help and I like legit sympathize

You're the first one to name Astra's flavor of neurospicy, congrats! Yes, she has 7/9 of the criteria for NPD. Unfortunately, she's not willing to recognize that she needs help managing her neurology. Unlike Nohemi, who's putting in the work despite having a different type of atypical neurology.

Sarita, meanwhile, is right at the start of her journey with yet a third type. She's got a good support system and she's listening to Nohemi, so there's hope for our Little gay disaster.