Kinda/Sorta came out to my mom

[Alex Bridges]

I had a major hip surgery two months ago. When the pandemic started, I went from 18/7 to 24/7, and I didn't want to give up my diapers during my recovery. I asked the surgeon in advance and was told I would be able to wear diapers during my recovery (I was worried about the location of the incisions).

I hired a caregiver to help me around the house for the first few days, and she was there when I woke up in post-op. She and a nurse dressed me while I was still unconscious, putting me into the diaper I'd brought with me. Problem was, I went totally haywire in post-op. A complication of the surgery caused my lungs to collapse, and I was rushed to the ER.

I was in and out of it in post-op and in the ER. I'm pretty sure I was conscious enough (don't think my eyes were even open) to ask Mom to leave the room, and then I told the ER nurse I needed a new diaper. It wasn't wet. I just felt like it wasn't on well after all the moving and what not. I tore it off (the nurse was displeased).

Anyway, the nurse returned and got me into a new diaper, and she left two on the rolling table next to the bed, tossing a cloth over them.

When I was fully awake, though obviously in no condition to drive or, ya know, make good decisions, I asked the caregiver to step out and told Mom the urinary symptoms I'd been experiencing over the past several years included incontinence, which was getting worse. She knew I was having UTIs, prostatitis, urgency, and retention. I hadn't told her about leakage. Technically, I do have leakage, but it doesn't, in my opinion, rise to the level of incontinence and certainly not to needing diapers, but it has been getting very slowly worse.

But I described it as incontinence and told her I'd been wearing "products" for it, and that the hip surgery was meant, in part, to help it, which is true.

Mom got teary, asked me about what the urologist says, asked me about surgical options. I told her it wasn't severe enough to justify that and that both the problem and the way I manae it aren't big deals. I was trying to reassure her (I didn't expect her to cry, but hey, we were all pretty emotional what with my having almost died that afternoon).

The reason I told her was because I was concerned that during my recovery she would find out anyway. She'd be in and out of my house a lot, would see or hear something through the gym shorts I don't usually wear around her, or go into a closet she wasn't supposed to. None of that came to pass, but when the nurse did change me, she didn't cover the diapers she'd left on the table back up, so if I hadn't told Mom, obviously she would've wondered what was up with the diapers on the table.

In the time since, Mom has not asked or said a word about it.

We're going on a 2-week trip together (separate rooms) in a couple months, and I've not yet decided if I'll be 24/7 or wear at all on that trip.

[Princess_August]

Stay strong Alex. 

[BabyJilly_S]

Best wishes from me. She is your mom so hopefully she will come round and be ok with it.

 

[Alex Bridges]

4 hours ago, BabyJilly_S said:

Best wishes from me. She is your mom so hopefully she will come round and be ok with it.

 

I think she is. Not bringing it up is her way of saying she’s okay with it

[BabyJilly_S]

23 minutes ago, Alex Bridges said:

I think she is. Not bringing it up is her way of saying she’s okay with it

As a Brit I can say that's jolly British of her. We deal with a lot of stuff that way... 

[BabyJune]

Not ready to tell anyone I put my boot in a nappy. Don't want to be "dressed down" for it.

[Gentle Gemma]

We're all rooting for you!

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

On 7/20/2022 at 10:04 AM, BabyJune said:

Not ready to tell anyone I put my boot in a nappy. Don't want to be "dressed down" for it.

Dressed dow? I though one getrs skrt up'ed

[BabyJune]

14 hours ago, Little BabyDoll Christine said:

Dressed dow? I though one getrs skrt up'ed

Not in England, old chap. ?

[Fenton]

Hopefully things are getting better for you. I do feel she is very sincere after your comment, and like my Mom, and sister will start helping you when needed. You are incontinent even if its a few drops. I do know my urology team put comments in my history that this is lifelong, and she commented he has been a patient of mine for several years. Yes, I have a caregiver.

[babyheadspace]

I've had similar results from my urologist man although it may have been awkward at least that's over now. My mother would of had to many questions I glad you were had medical team to back you up.  I hope you are recovering well after going through all that.