Little Sister Briana CH 40 (The Finale!) 11/07/21

[YourFNF]

On 9/15/2022 at 11:55 AM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

I can't watch you do this to yourself, or to us." Rosa wrapped her arms around herself. "Don't call me. Don't text me. Don't come see me unless – unless you're done with Beatrix."

Gods as painful as this shit is I think this is the wake up call she needs..... And I hate that Rosa has to do this but I understand needing to protect herself....

On 9/15/2022 at 3:02 PM, kerry said:

nor that Melody would choose her over Rosa. I so hope she gets her comeuppance soon!

90% sure it's trauma bonding which is common in abuse survivors

Personally how I'm ready to deal with cunt waffle...

[YourFNF]

.....

Oh also adding to my early statement it sounds like Melody grew up in the foster system and has extreme abandonment trauma and attachment issues. It's honestly unfortunately all too likely she was also abused well before she even met Bitch Mc'Gee. And that said person took advantage when they met....

That's honestly why I'm ready to handle her Chicago style cause I know people like this don't stop or give up control... If things were different and the system actually worked to protect people instead of the powerful it might be possible to stop her and get her some kind of wake up to how fucked she's been  but at this point it's either throw her to the cops and hope they do their jobs for once or take her out yourself.

[YourFNF]

Also Also why do I feel like this is major Melody and Bri energy?

 

[SolSombraYSoldados]

44 minutes ago, YourFNF said:

90% sure it's trauma bonding which is common in abuse survivors

This is happening, yes. Also, Melody isn't really making choices right now. They're passively letting things happen without asserting themselves.

It's a bold strategy, Cotton...

7 minutes ago, YourFNF said:

Also Also why do I feel like this is major Melody and Bri energy?

 

I like it. All the Melody-energy music right now has serious angst in it.

[SolSombraYSoldados]

The cure to the sads of last chapter, one of the sweetest in the book!

-----

 

26

Briana looked at Veronica curiously. Instead of opening the dresser drawers full of onesies and pajamas, Veronica was in the back of Briana’s closet. Briana was in just a diaper, awaiting whatever outfit Mom was going to put her in.

“How do you feel about big girl clothes?” Veronica asked.

“Are we having people over again?” Briana asked. The last time she’d worn big girl clothes it had been at a party. The time before that – was when she was still going to school. It seemed so long ago.

“Actually, I was wondering if you’d like to come shopping with me.” Veronica said.

“Really?!” Briana bounced excitedly. “Yes, please Mommy! Can we get Christmas presents? I have lotsa people to buy for.”

Veronica chuckled, emerging from the closet with a long yellow skirt. She added a blue and white checkered blouse, setting both on the bed. Briana checked out the clothes excitedly while she waited for mom to dress her.

To Briana’s surprise, the first thing Veronica put on her was a white bralette. While dressing little, she didn’t technically need to wear a bra, and hadn’t worn one in ages. Already she was feeling like a super big girl.

Briana helped Veronica get the skirt and blouse on her, as well as a pair of thick white leggings. Cute blue shoes that Briana had totally forgotten about completed the outfit. Spinning in front of her mirror to poof her skirt out, Briana laughed in delight.

“You look terrific sweetie.” Veronica said.

“Thanks for picking this outfit.” Briana said. “I love it.”

“It’s the outfit you wore when you applied to live in the house, do you remember?” Veronica asked.

“Oh, I do now! I’m so glad I moved in with you.” Briana took a couple of dancing steps over to Veronica and hugged her. “I love you, Mama.”

“My little BumblBri.” Veronica said softly, pulling Briana close.

“Are we going out right away?” Briana asked.

“We need to get going, yes. Grab a coat, I think your blue one will be warm enough, and look nice too. You have to wear gloves and a hat as well.”

“I bet Suzie will let me wear her blue cloche.” Briana said. “It’ll be perfect with this outfit!”

“Just don’t spend too long asking. Can you be at the door and ready in ten minutes?” Veronica asked.

“Yes Mom!” Briana scampered downstairs.

As she predicted, Suzie was forced to bend her ‘don’t borrow my hats’ rule when she saw how cute it made the outfit. Briana was at the door with her coat and gloves on with five minutes to spare.

Though Briana expected downtown to be empty, so early on a Sunday, there were cars and people everywhere. It took Veronica a while to find parking, they’d had to stop on every street to let pedestrians through a crosswalk.

Stepping out into the softly drifting snow, Briana felt her cheeks and nose redden. It was inevitable with her super fair skin and would only add to her cuteness today. Indeed, she got a big smile out of Veronica when she took Briana’s hand and set out to the shops.

The first stop was actually breakfast. Briana literally couldn’t remember the last time she’d been to a real restaurant, which didn’t take the campus food card. Probably back when she’d first started dating Gary.

With a pile of pancakes in front of her, seated in a corner of a cute Chaplin-themed breakfast place, Briana could tell the day was going to be magical.

“I will be very impressed if you eat that entire stack.” Veronica said, daintily eating her grown-up scramble. It was full of weird cheeses and pesto. “Please be careful of your outfit. I have a diaper bag but not much for spare clothes.”

“I won’t spill.” Briana said, drowning her pancakes in three kinds of syrup. “I want to everybody to see my outfit today.”

“Are you feeling a little cooped in?” Veronica asked.

“Yeah, I think so.” Briana said, packing an enormous bite of pancake into her little mouth. “Eh ehuh eahuh ih uhuuhl uhay.”

“Briana Cassingham.” Veronica said sternly. “You know better than to talk with your mouth full.”

A quick gulp of apple juice helped wash down the mighty bite. “Sorry mom. I said I didn’t realize it until today.”

“Take smaller bites, honey.” Veronica said. “I should have realized you were too home-bound myself. We’ll make a point of taking you out more.”

Briana cut a marginally smaller bite of pancake stack, remembering to talk before she mashed it into her mouth this time. “What about school? Is there any way I can go back?”

“Are you missing the socialization or the classes?” Veronica asked.

“The classes.” Briana said, after getting the second bite down. “I really like Microbiology. I was doing cool research too, with Dr. Vaughn.”

“You’re so much more grown up in your conversation today.” Veronica said with a smile. “Is it just the clothes and being out?”

“I don’t know.” Briana said. “That might be part of it. I also kinda feel rested.”

“Hmm, well getting you signed up for classes isn’t a problem, we could do it tomorrow if we wanted.” Veronica said, sipping her mimosa. “My only concern is that I want you to be successful. Dropping in and out of a graduate program is pretty disruptive to research and your colleagues.”

“If you think of a way, let me know.” Briana said. “I’ll try to think of something too.”

“You seem happy enough wearing protection out with me right now.” Veronica said. “You’ve been worried about doing that at school before though.”

“Hmm, maybe it would be okay.” Briana said. She pitched her voice a little lower. “But we were working on potty training too, right?”

“Working seems to be the operative word there. Your progress has been a little uneven.” Veronica said. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to help as much as I’d like.”

“I know you’re busy.” Briana said, giving mom a genuine smile. “Plus, you have to help Melody now. If you have to choose, help them first.”

“You’re such a sweet girl.” Veronica said. “I’m fortunate to have you in my life.” (Santa Points +1)

Briana beamed. The pancakes were getting cold, and Veronica was more than halfway through her scramble. She tabled further conversation for a bit so she could properly attack her four-stack of pancakes. Veronica, their waitress, and even Briana were surprised to see a clean plate at the end of breakfast.

It was a good thing that Veronica wanted to go slowly on the icy sidewalks in her heels, because Brian was completely stuffed. The sedate pace was great for window shopping too. They got to see all the Christmas decorations and listen to the carolers that had set up on Main Street.

Some of the presents were easy to get. A grumpy owl plushie for Arthur and a nice silver bracelet for Tamira were no-brainers. Suzie wanted chocolate for literally every occasion, so a trip to the fudge shop handled her and Erin both. Other presents were harder though. Briana had no idea what to get Gary, or her immediate family for that matter. Especially Veronica, since she could hardly buy her mom a present while she was standing right there.

They paused to let a group of parents sort out a very squirmy group of kids. The parents were busy making sure that every kid had exactly one hat and pair of gloves, even if it wasn’t the one the kid had started with. It was cute how many of the kids were dressed like their parent.

While they waited, Briana caught her mom looking at the nearby shop window with more than just casual interest. It was a clothing shop, and probably one of Veronica’s favorites. Out of four mannequins in elaborate dresses, only one was wearing any color at all.

Briana smiled and squeezed Veronica’s hand, getting an answering squeeze. She looked up at Veronica and down at her outfit. It was super cute, but she didn’t match Veronica at all.

“Mom?” Briana asked tentatively. “Would it be okay if I bought something for me?”

Veronica smiled and nodded. “Of course, honey. You almost never get to go shopping. What caught your eye?”

“The dresses in this shop are really pretty.” Briana said, turning to the window. “If we have time, I’d like to at least try one on.”

“I love the dresses they have here.” Veronica said, indicating her black faux-Victorian dress with a sweep of her hand. “They’re pretty far outside your usual style though. What do you like about them?”

“I want a dress that makes me look like you.” Briana said shyly.

“Briana, is your goal for this shopping trip to make me cry?” Veronica asked happily, dabbing her eyes with a handkerchief.

“No.” Briana giggled. “Is it okay? And maybe when I wear it, you could do my makeup like yours?”

“I guess we’re getting you at least one outfit now.” Veronica said with an uncharacteristically goofy smile.

As Briana had suspected, the ladies in the store knew Veronica well, and greeted her by name. By her last name anyway. It was weird to see everyone address Mom as Ms. Rasmussen. There weren’t many other customers in the store, since the dresses weren’t very Christmas-y. Out of boredom or for a favorite customer, the shop owner took them back to play dress-up with Briana.

Ensconced in the backroom so that they could do quick-changes, Briana went through at least a half dozen outfits. Each outfit was quite complicated, with multiple accessories and shoes. After seeing Briana wobble dangerously on a pair of high-heeled-witchy-boots, Veronica and Briana both banned heels from further consideration. That was fine, there were plenty of cute flats and Briana liked being short.

“It’d be easier to evaluate these outfits if we got her out of those leggings and into some black nylons or tights.” Said Wendy, the shop owner.

“Are you alright with that, Briana?” Veronica asked.

Though she’d already been stripped down to her leggings and bra several times, Briana hesitated. The leggings were tight enough that it was hard to say exactly what she had on under them. The slight bulk of her daytime diaper could be mistaken for Briana having a bit more butt than she actually did.

Figuring that Veronica would have said no if she thought Wendy would be mean, Briana put her trust in her mom.

“That’d be fine. There are some cute ones of those too. That second dress would look better if I was bare legged anyway.”

Veronica gave Wendy a look that was unreadable to Briana. It must have meant something to Wendy, because she hardly batted an eye when Veronica took Briana’s leggings down to reveal the pale pink diaper underneath.

“Ugh, pastel pink?” Was Wendy’s only comment. “We’ll need something more opaque than nylons I think, here, try these spiderweb pattern tights.”

With the tights on, Briana was starting like a complete gothy girl. In just two more outfit changes they found one that everyone agreed was their favorite. A satin and velvet petticoat dress, with a high/low skirt, fit without need for alteration. It had a solid red layer under the black lace, giving it enough color to make Briana feel good about it. Veronica was in love with the layers of black lace and the velvet panels on the corset-style top. Wendy loved how well the outfit accessorized.

 In short order Briana had opera length gloves, a lace choker, and flat-heeled shoes with pointed toes to add to her ensemble. Looking in the mirror made her feel like she was in a costume to be an evil queen or a vampire. At least, it made her feel that way until she saw Veronica stand behind her in the mirror.

They matched! Briana’s heart fluttered. She looked like she belonged next to Veronica, could even be her daughter. If they weren’t just four years apart in age, of course. Turning to Veronica, she gazed up at her in adoration.

“Do you like it, Mom?” Briana asked. Too late, she realized Wendy was still there. (Santa points -1)

“You look gorgeous. I want you to know that I don’t need you to dress like this all the time; I love your regular style.” Veronica said, apparently ignoring Briana’s slip of the tongue. Wendy wasn’t reacting either. (Santa points +1)

“I love seeing you like this though. Especially because of what you said outside the shop.” Veronica said.

“What’d she say outside the shop?” Wendy asked, curiously.

“That I wanted an outfit that would make me look like her.” Briana said, taking Veronica’s hand. “Because she takes care of me, and I love her.”

“In that case you’ll want to wear it out.” Wendy said. When Briana nodded vigorously, she added, “I can do her makeup if you want, Ms. Rasmussen. I have plenty of mine here at the shop.”

“Is it alright if I put it on her instead?” Veronica asked quietly.

“Of course.” Wendy said. “You two are adorable. Don’t worry about hiding your relationship in this shop. I’m poly, and my business partner is too, in a different arrangement. Whatever your family looks like, it’s welcome here.”

“Thank you, Wendy.” Veronica said, with a gentle smile.

“I’ll give you two some space. Makeup is by that back counter. Do you just want the one outfit, or is there anything else we tried on that you want to keep?”

“We’ll take it all.” Veronica said. “Everything that fit on her, box it up and mail it to my house.”

Wendy chuckled. “You’re going to put my girlfriend through college, Ms. Rasmussen. Thank you very much. It was wonderful to meet you, Briana. I hope we’ll see you again sometime, so you can surprise your mom with a cute new dress.”

“Maybe!” Briana said. “Thanks Wendy.”

While Wendy boxed up the outfits and rang them up, Briana sat for her makeup and watched Veronica. There was so much care in Veronica’s look of concentration. The two of them had become so close, so quickly. Even so, there was still a lot she didn’t know about the woman she called Mom.

“Mom.” Briana said when Veronica had finished her lips and moved on to her eyes. “Are you rich?”

“Hmm, I guess I did flaunt it just a bit there, didn’t I?” Veronica asked. “I try to be a little more discreet than that. Yes, our family has some wealth that has been passed down. We aren’t Rockefellers, but we’re very comfortable.”

“I was just wondering.” Briana said. “I feel like there’s more I should know, if you’re my mom. You can tell me if I ask something that I shouldn’t.”

“Briana, look at me.” Veronica said.

She paused her eyeliner painting so that Briana could open her eyes. Veronica was squatting down, looking up at Briana. It was one of the most serious looks her mom had ever given her.

“It’s your money too, darling.” Veronica said.

Briana’s throat suddenly had a lump. She hadn’t become Veronica’s daughter for money. What was that line from Sabrina? Everyone would say what a fine democratic thing it was for rich David to marry poor Sabrina. But nobody poor was ever called democratic for marrying somebody rich.

“Th-that’s okay. You don’t have to do that. I’m really grateful that you took me shopping today.”

“Listen to me, Briana.” Veronica said. “You are my precious daughter. I love you exactly like I would if you were my blood.”

Furiously blinking away the tears that threatened her makeup, Briana sniffled. “I love you too, Mom.”

“You’re my Briana, but as far as I’m concerned, you’re also a Rasmussen.” Veronica said. “You can be one on paper too, if you want. I could formally adopt you.”

That did it. Tears spilled down Briana’s cheeks, shredding her eye makeup across her foundation.

“Mommy… really?” Briana asked.

“Yes, really. Would you want that? It’s a big deal to change your name.”

“Not for me.” Briana said with a sniffle. “I mean, not a big deal to get rid of the old one. It’s just what the last foster family had.”

“Do you want to keep your middle name?” Veronica asked.

“I don’t know.” Briana said. “But I know I want to be Briana Rasmussen.”

“Then you are.” Veronica said, stroking Briana’s hair. “We’ll make it legal as soon as we can, but that is your name from today on.”

“I’m ruining the makeup you did.” Briana said, sobbing into an ornate black silk handkerchief.

“Easily fixed.” Veronica said. “I do makeup like this every day.”

By the time her makeup was redone, Briana was feeling an odd discomfort. It was so unfamiliar that she had to seriously think, before she realized what the problem was.

“Mom.” Briana said urgently. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

Veronica looked up from the makeup she was putting away in surprise. “Oh. Oh! It’s right through that door, honey.”

Briana dashed for it! There were a lot more layers than usual between her and her diaper. It would have been a noble, but futile attempt, if Veronica hadn’t come in to help gather her skirt and get her diaper down.

Sitting on the potty, Briana was surprised at how much she had in her. She’d somehow held it until her bladder was totally full. Said bladder was achy at being stretched for the first time in a while.

“I’m really impressed, Briana.” Veronica said. “You held it just like a big girl – no, really like a young lady.”

“I don’t know how I did it.” Briana said, just as surprised. “I just realized I had to go.”

“You’ve been very grown up, mentally, on this shopping trip.” Veronica said, helping Briana get her clothes back on.

“It’s weird. It feels good though.” Briana said. Feeling a sudden pang of fear, she quickly added, “It doesn’t mean I don’t need you, though.”

“I know that, Baby Bee.” Veronica said. She patted Briana gently on the cheek. “This isn’t like when we were doing this for therapy. I’ll still help you with your issues, but as your mom now.”

Briana relaxed and smiled. “What now?”

“We still have shopping to do, but it’s getting late in the day. Let’s try two more stores and go home.”

“Okay Mama.” Briana said.

It was exciting to be out, dressed to match Veronica. Tempering that excitement was the puzzle of her big behavior. It was a little scary, mostly because it was unreliable. If she could manage to do this, she could go back to class. But what if it lasted a week and she was back to being baby-minded?

Her distraction wasn’t so total that she forgot to look for presents. Though Veronica had said only two stores, Briana dragged her into a ‘Gifts of Japan’ store they saw on the way back to the car. It took some hunting through the jam-packed walls and shelves, but Briana found the perfect gift for Melody.

An anime figurine set of the impromptu Mother/Father/Daughter trio from “Spy x Family”, along with a figurine of Ray from “The Promised Neverland”, were both statues that Melody didn’t have. Combining them would create Briana and Melody’s own impromptu family. Briana was pleased with herself all the way home.

 

Even after hiding her presents away, Briana didn’t feel the need to revert to her baby self. It would be a shame to get out of her cool goth outfit without showing her sibling, after all. Briana bet she could get Melody to take some pictures.

A knock at Melody’s door didn’t yield any response. Baby Briana would have crashed right in, but Graduate Student Briana was a little more considerate.

“Melody, it’s Briana. I’m coming in, okay?”

“Fine.” Came Melody’s sad reply.

Briana stepped into the room and immediately moved to hug her sibling. Melody looked wretched. They were standing at their desk in a very soggy diaper and a t-shirt, listlessly shoving books and electronics into their school bag. At Briana’s touch, Melody dropped the bag and leaned into their sister.

“I got you.” Briana said.

She got a heartbreaking whimper from Melody in response. Since she couldn’t fix Melody’s real hurt, she just held on to her sibling, gently stroking their hair.

“You’re different.” Melody said finally.

They pulled back to look at Briana and their eyes went wide.

“You look like Veronica.” Melody said in awe.

Despite her sibling’s misery, Briana broke into a huge smile at that compliment.

“You like my new outfit?” She did a twirl for Melody.

“You look amazing. Wow.” Melody said.

Briana frowned. She’d expected a meme-y quip of some kind. Melody’s voice was flat and soft. Their eyes were downcast and dull.

“Didn’t Dad check on you?” Briana asked. “You’re not okay right now. You need a change too.”

“I didn’t answer when Jane knocked.” Melody said grumpily.

Briana sighed in exasperation. She put her hands on her hips just the way that Mom did. It felt good, authoritative.

“Little one.” Briana declared, “I’m going to get you cleaned up and taken care of.”

“You’re the little one.” Melody said. It was half a question.

“Not right now. Come with me.” Briana took Melody’s wrist firmly.

Her sibling stared back at her in disbelief. Melody pulled back. At her size, Briana had less than zero chance of dragging anyone with her.

“Isn’t that diaper cold, soggy, and itchy?” Briana asked. “That looks like the one you had from nighttime.”

“I guess it is.” Melody said in a huff.

“Then come with me so I can change you.” Briana said.

Melody hesitated one more time. They looked down and took a tentative step forward.

Briana might not be able to pull someone by physical strength, but she knew quite a bit about exploiting momentum. As soon as Melody moved, Briana did too, keeping Melody’s arm taut. She had her sibling stumbling over to the drawing room changing table, before Melody could change their mind.

“Up you go.” Briana said. Melody stared at Briana in silent confusion.

“I can’t lift you.” Briana said. “Up. Now!”

Hearing a sharp tone from Briana looked like it freaked Melody out. It got them up on the table though, post haste.

“Give me your shirt.” Briana said, pulling Melody’s t-shirt up.

She managed to get it off with minimal wiggles. With that done, she tore open the tapes on Melody’s diaper and disposed of it. Relief was immediately evident on Melody’s face.

“What’s going on?” Melody asked. “You’re never like this.”

“I used to be like this every day.” Briana said. “I don’t know how long I can keep it up, but I do know one thing.”

“What’s that?” Melody asked, squirming as Briana wiped them clean.

“I can do it long enough to take care of my sibling.” Briana said confidently.

“But – I’m the big sibling.” Melody said uncertainly. “You’re my little sister.”

“I’m your sister, period. Lift your butt.” Briana said, sliding a blue, Melody-friendly diaper under her sibling. “Just relax, Mel. Let your sister take care of you for a hot second, okay?”

“Okay.” Melody said.

They were crying again. Briana held off on the powder and gently stroked Melody’s hair. It took a few minutes for them to soothe. Softly humming, Briana wiped Melody’s tears and popped a pacifier in their mouth.

The pacifier was clearly a big surprise to Melody. Briana realized she’d never seen Melody use one before. They took to it right away though, closing their eyes and relaxing.

Briana took her time diapering Melody, making sure to incorporate a lot of loving touches. Back in Melody’s room, she got them into one of their sets of baby pajamas. This one was a dark green and had little gold bow and arrow motifs embroidered into it.

“Is it the clothes?” Melody asked. “Can you do this because you’re wearing Veronica stuff?”

Briana chuckled. “Why, because goth powers and mommy powers are the same thing?”

“Maybe they are.” Melody said. “You look so different. What’s that shade of lipstick anyway, Blood of My Enemies?”

Briana giggled. “That’s more like my sibling. Feeling better?”

“Yeah but, I can’t just be a baby all the time. I have to go back to school tomorrow.” Melody said sadly.

“That’s tomorrow.” Briana said. “Right now, you’re a baby in some of the cutest pajamas ever.”

“They are pretty cool.” Melody said, pleased. “So uh, what now?”

“I take care of you.” Briana said. “Are you hungry?”

“You better not be offering to feed me the way that Veronica does you!” Melody teased.

“Very funny.” Briana chuckled. “I wasn’t, and I can’t do that anyway. I actually don’t know how mom did it, now that I’m big enough to think about it. I guess it must be some kind of maternity medicine thing.”

Melody shrugged. “I’m hungry I guess.”

Briana considered her sibling. They seemed to be out of steam for thinking. They might want to be really little at the moment. As Briana knew well, people often hesitated to treat her as little as she needed to be treated. They were reluctant for good reason, of course, but a push didn’t hurt.

“Since you brought that up, do you want me to prepare a bottle for you?” Briana asked.

“That’s baby stuff.” Melody said, blushing.

“Are you a baby right now, Melody?” Briana asked.

“I don’t know – I can’t…” Melody whimpered.

“Do you wish you were one?” Briana asked softly.

“Yes.” Melody said. After a long pause they added, “Please, Briana.”

Briana spotted Totoro on the bed and popped him into Melody’s hands. She was to the kitchen and back as fast as she could manage, warm bottle of formula in her hands. Melody spotted the bottle and squirmed nervously.

Closing the door, Briana smiled at Melody. She helped her sibling get propped up on some pillows and offered the bottle gently. As soon as they began sucking on it, Melody closed their eyes. They got through the bottle steadily, finishing with a quiet burp and a cute wiggle.

“Need a nap?” Briana asked.

Melody nodded and crawled under the covers. Briana tucked her sibling in, singing a soft nonsense song in the melody of the Cloudland anthem. She knew from her own experience that Melody’s expression meant they were non-verbal for a bit.

Unfortunately, as soon as Melody was asleep they didn’t need Briana anymore. Stress gathered in a tense knot at the back of Briana’s head. She felt herself wetting, without the slightest warning. It was still so hard to be big Briana. Asserting authority over Melody had taken a lot of energy too. After making sure that Melody was really asleep, Briana fled upstairs.

“Mama?” Briana called as she searched Veronica’s suite.

“It’s Dad.” Jane said from the bedroom. “Veronica is out.”

Briana raced into Jane’s arms for a big hug. She pulled back and looked Briana over.

“You look so much like your mom like that.” Jane said. “Do you like it? You’re very pretty that way.”

“Of course I am, ‘cause you like goth girls.” Briana said, giggling.

“Guilty.” Jane said with a chuckle. “What’s up?”

“Did Mom tell you how I was big today?” Briana asked.

“Yes. Are you running down from that now?” Jane asked.

“Yeah.” Briana nodded. “Help me get little, please Daddy?”

Jane knew exactly what she needed. In typical efficient fashion, she had Briana in a fresh diaper and a onesie in less than fifteen minutes. Even the makeup was scrubbed off, which Briana regretted a bit.

“Can I play in Melody’s room?” Briana asked. “They were super sad today. I put them down for a nap. I want them to wake up with me there.”

“You put Melody down for a nap?” Jane asked curiously. “Trying to steal your Dad’s job now?”

“No.” Briana said, snuggling up to Jane. “Nobody can replace my daddy.”

“Veronica told me you were especially sweet today.” Jane said softly. “I didn’t realize you were trying to make us cry.”

“I’m not trying to make anybody cry.” Briana said impatiently. “I just feel really happy. Maybe it’s the holidays.”

“OH!” Briana shouted, cutting off whatever reply Jane was about to make. “Oh Dad, can I tell you all the big girl stuff I did today?”

“Sure honey. But calm down a little.”

“But you have to hear it.” Briana insisted. “For Santa.”

Jane laughed. “Alright, I understand. Go ahead.”

Briana gave a breathless rundown of her morning, making sure to mention that she’d been super nice to Mom (Santa Points +1), used the potty like a big girl (Santa Points +1), told Mom she wanted to change her name (Santa Points +1), found the perfect gift for Melody (Santa Points +1), saved Melody from being sad (Santa Points +1), and finally stayed big long enough to help Melody get little again. (Santa Points +1)

Once Briana was satisfied that Jane would inform Santa of all her good deeds, she had Dad help her collect some toys from her room and set her up in Melody’s bedroom. While Melody snored, Briana built more and more elaborate stuffie-towers on her sibling. (Santa Points -1)

[kerry]

Such an adorable chapter!

[YourFNF]

Gods this is so cute! Look at Bri being all big and looking after her sister! Such a good girl!

 

 

[SolSombraYSoldados]

On 9/19/2022 at 12:27 PM, kerry said:

Such an adorable chapter!

One of my faves in the book!

 

 

1 hour ago, YourFNF said:

Gods this is so cute! Look at Bri being all big and looking after her sister! Such a good girl!

Heck yeah she was a good girl. She raked in the Santa Points too.

[SolSombraYSoldados]

Chapter 27

((Content warning: Self Harm, descriptions of depression))

Monday morning came on unbearably hard. Melody looked out at the snow dumping out of the sky and piling on the lawn. It would be absolute heaven to get a fresh diaper, a snowsuit and go out in the fluffy white with Briana.

They checked their phone for the tenth time. School wasn’t cancelled. In fact, the administration had issued a statement that the roads were freshly plowed and that all classes were to go ahead. Melody’s last hope was that one or all of their professors would cancel, but no luck there either.

“Good morning, Melody.” Veronica said. She’d let herself in to Melody’s room and took a seat on the edge of the bed.

“Oh uh, hi.” Melody turned away from the window. “Don’t I usually go to you for the morning thing?”

“No, lately you don’t.” Veronica said primly.

Melody looked away guiltily. “Uh, sorry.”

“I’m not here to push blame on you, but we are going to be honest. Now, while I get you changed and ready for the day, we have to talk about at least one thing going on in your life.” Veronica said.

“Please don’t make me.” Melody whimpered. They were tearing up again. They hated that they were crying so much lately.

“It doesn’t have to be about Rosa or Beatrix.” Veronica said. “Though I would be happy to talk about them. It just has to be something about how you’re feeling.”

Melody sighed. They nodded slowly. “I guess I have some questions about the way I’ve been acting this weekend. Little, but it feels like more than a game this time.”

Veronica whisked the covers off of Melody and scooted them onto a changing blanket. The room was a little chilly, especially when Veronica took their pajama pants down.

“You’ve been wearing diapers for a while, even when I wasn’t directly enforcing it. It sounds like you had some little-space experiences recently, though you haven’t told me about those yet.” Veronica said kindly. She wasn’t making eye-contact, focusing instead on getting Melody out of their diaper and wiping them clean.

“Oh right. Uh, I did it once with Tamira. A couple of times with Rosa. It was uh…” Melody whimpered. “You said we didn’t have to talk about Rosa.”

“We don’t have to. It might help you to, though. Especially if it’s about the good experiences you had.” Veronica said, getting a fresh diaper under Melody.

“That’s the problem though.” Melody said dully. “Those are gone now. She broke up with me.”

Saying it out loud was a fresh stab to the barely healed wound. Melody trembled, feeling dizzy and sick.

“I’m so sorry to hear that. I think she was very good for you. You two looked happy together.” Veronica said.

“We were.” Melody said softly.

“Let’s take a step back to what you were saying earlier.” Veronica said, tenderly patting baby powder onto Melody’s skin. “You said you had more than one little space experience with Rosa.”

“Yeah.” Melody said with a heavy sigh. It was painful to think about, but nothing compared to remembering their breakup. “It felt so good. I was really safe with her. It was nothing like the diaper stuff I did with Bea. It was perfect.”

“Did allowing yourself to be little help you feel safe here with us?” Veronica asked. She patted the tapes on Melody’s diaper, checking that the fit was snug. “Did it recapture some of that feeling?”

“I think so.” Melody said. “Especially playing with Briana. I really appreciate you and Jane taking care of me.”

“That’s part of our solution to your hurt, then.” Veronica said. “I’d be the last person to tell you to repress and forget a trauma. At the same time, you don’t have to examine it when it’s fresh and painful. Take a few days to recover with your support network. When you feel stronger, we’ll look at what caused this.”

“I was doing that.” Melody said. They wanted to roll over and snuggle up to Veronica. Today had to be an adult day, so they couldn’t. “Now I have to go back to school and work and face everything.”

“You do.” Veronica said, her tone kind but direct. “When you come home, you’ll be supported again. I will take some of the logistic worries away for you, tracking what you need to do and when. As soon as your work and homework are done, you can be little again.”

“Like a secret identity.” Melody said. They looked up to see confusion on Veronica’s face. “You know, superheroes.”

“I don’t know a lot about comics.” Veronica said, like there weren’t also dozens of movies in a multibillion-dollar genre of movies with superheroes in them.

“But I imagine it would be exhausting to be someone like Superman. To be seen all the time as a literal savior and demigod. I’m sure someone like that would find a Clark Kent persona to be relaxing. To be someone who is only expected to write an article, not save the world.”

“You’re saying that when I’m done with my work all I have to do is…”

“Is play nicely with your sister and listen to your caregivers.” Veronica said.

“That could be good.” Melody said. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. That wasn’t terrible, was it?”

“It wasn’t fun.” Melody said. “I feel better now, though.”

“That’s how therapy often goes. Alright, out of bed with you. I got you showered last night but we still need to get your teeth brushed and clothes on.” Veronica said.

 

Ready for school way earlier than normal, Melody decided to eat breakfast up in Briana’s room. They found their sister snuggled under a pile of blankets with a cup of hot chocolate, staring out at the snow in wonder.

“Melody!” Briana said brightly. “It’s snowing so much!”

Melody chuckled. “You going to go out and play in it today?”

“Yeah! Can you play with me?” Briana asked. “After school maybe?”

“Sorry sis.” Melody said. “I’ve got homework and regular work.”

“Aww. Well, I’ll make a snow they/them just for you.” Briana said brightly.

“Hah, a SnowEnby.” Melody munched on the unadorned blueberry toaster waffles she’d brought. “Thanks for the save yesterday.”

“I’m glad I could do it!” Briana said. “I wish I could do it alla-time, but it’s so hard to be big. Are you going to be okay today, not being little?”

“I have to be.” Melody shrugged. “But Veronica said I could be little when all my stuff is done. So, it’s kind of like being little is my secret identity.”

“Ooh, like a superhero!” Briana said. Melody was glad to see that their sister wasn’t as uncultured as Veronica.

“Yeah, pretty much. I do all the important stuff and then I get to hide away as someone else.”

“That’s what I want to do. But I feel like this is me. The little Briana is the real Briana. Being Big Briana yesterday felt like playing pretend.”

“That just makes you Shazam!” Melody said with a shrug.

“Huh?” Briana asked. “I don’t know that one.”

“Oh man, I really have to start showing you the Historical Documents.” Melody said. Briana gave them another blank look. Melody facepalmed.

“You haven’t seen GALAXY QUEST?” Melody shook their head. “It’s worse than I thought. Anyway, first things first. Shazam is a hero who’s a little boy, but he can turn into a powerful adult hero when he says Shazam!”

Briana stared at Melody in wonder. She leapt out of bed, splashing her cocoa across the rug. “Melody you’re a genius!”

“Heh, thanks.” Melody said. They braced themself for impact, putting their free hand around Briana after she crashed in for a hug.

“You really are, you know that right?” Briana said, half muffled by Melody’s shirt. “Your computer stuff is super impressive. I heard Mom talking about it. She said the Dean of Computer Science was talking about you.”

“Uh yeah, I’m pretty good at that kind of stuff.” Melody said. “I’m still not clear on how knowing about Shazam! makes me a genius though.”

“I think I really can do that.” Briana said, hopping back. “I can put on Big Briana if I know it’s just for a while. It’s trying to be Big Briana inside that makes it hard. If it’s just like transforming into a Knight of Cloudland, then it’s okay!”

“Huh, I guess if that works for you, I like it.” Melody said. “Uh, you realize you spilled your hot chocolate, right?”

“I did?” Briana looked behind her. “Oh no! Mom’s gonna be mad, and I’ll lose Santa Points!”

“Santa Points?” Melody asked. “Actually, never mind that right now. I’ll help you clean it up, okay?”

“Really?” Briana asked gratefully.

“Anything for my little sister.” Melody said.

 

Leaving Briana behind and going to school was a nightmare. Melody was sure their face was either Sad Meme Cat or Hide the Pain Harold all day. It wasn’t their long day, at least. Most of the day on Mondays could be spent hiding in an undergraduate lab, running unit tests on their thesis project.

It was looking like there were only thirty more minutes of work, when the computer lab suddenly got very loud. Melody looked up in confusion at the cacophony of coughs, muttering, and exclamations. With all the undergrad boys looking the same direction, it was easy to spot the source. Beatrix had made an entrance.

She was wearing a vee-necked, backless romper like she was Emma Frost, and the cold couldn’t touch her. Didn’t she realize that the undergrad labs were full of some for-real awkward nerds? Now the animals were spooked.

Beatrix spotted Melody and strode toward her. One of the bolder undergrads slid his chair out and tried his luck with a “Hey beautiful.”

“Not on your best day.” Beatrix said coldly. “Or on my worst.”

Bea stepped around the guy like he was a bug.

“Melody. We have to talk.” Beatrix announced.

Things were getting weirder and weirder with Beatrix. That had almost sounded like a request. Melody nodded a little.

“Uh, okay. I just have to finish up here. We can meet in like thirty…” Melody blinked in surprise as Beatrix pulled the power cord out of the back of their computer tower.

“We can talk now.” Beatrix said. That was more like the Bea that Melody knew. At least their work had autosaved.

“Uh, fine.” They said.

Melody picked up their bag and shuffled out of the lab behind Beatrix. Nothing to make a bad day worse like having an entire computer lab stare at them. Melody was going to have to find a new lab to be incognito in. If they came back, at least one of those guys was going to start a conversation by saying, “I’m just curious…”

Beatrix lead Melody to another office under renovation, unlocking it with her construction key.

“How did you even get that key?” Melody asked.

“I stole it off some idiot’s tool cart.” Beatrix said, rolling her eyes like it should have been obvious. “It’s handy to be able to get into a private space whenever you want.”

“Okay, kind of weird, but not a sin.” Melody said. “What do you want to talk about?”

Beatrix sat on the desk that had been pushed up against the bookshelves. The opposite wall was all torn up. It looked like some shelves had come off that wall, but nothing had been re-plastered yet.

“I was a little freaked out the other day.” Beatrix said. “I lost my cool. Not my fault, I was under a lot of stress. Plus, you caught me off guard.”

“Um…” Melody felt pressure building on their chest. That day was the last day they wanted to talk about.

“Doesn’t matter, that shit’s behind us now.” Beatrix said. “You were out of line, but you were right about one thing. I’m attracted to you.”

Melody chewed their lip. What even was going on? Was Beatrix trying to have a relationship discussion with them? Did she not realize what she’d done, was still doing to Melody?

“Nothing to say?” Beatrix asked in irritation. “I know you think I’m hot. After undergrad, you stayed in touch because you wanted to touch me.”

“Uh yeah, that’s true.” Melody blushed.

“Well now you can, but we have to get a couple of things straight.” Beatrix said.

“We’re not going to get anything straight if this ends in us making out.” Melody said with smirk.

“Oh god, lesbian jokes.” Beatrix shook her head. “Focus Mel! I’m attracted to you, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with that. Melody thought.

“But you’re the submissive one!” Beatrix said sharply. “Okay? There’s nothing wrong with me being hot for you, as long as you’re the bitch.”

“Uh Bea that’s not really…”

“Hush!” Beatrix commanded. “You win, okay? You get all this.”

Melody stared at Bea in confusion. Is this what it would be like to date her? The whole conversation was rough, angry, with hidden mines scattered through it.

“You still don’t understand? Well, it’s cute that you need permission anyway.” Beatrix said. “Melody. Come here and kiss me. Now.”

Melody swallowed hard. They didn’t want to. Except they did want to. It wouldn’t really be cheating anymore, would it? Beatrix would get nicer as time went on, surely. This was just the start of – something. The start of something that wasn’t alone.

Melody walked forward tentatively. Beatrix kept her eyes on them the whole way, enchantingly focused on them. By the time Melody reached Bea, their heart was pounding. She smelled so good. She looked amazing.

The kiss felt like a first kiss. It was gentle, exploratory. Beatrix held Melody’s head like a lover, not an attacker. By the third kiss, Beatrix had gently moved Melody’s hands to her chest. Shortly after she had her hands down the back of Melody’s pants.

“You’re still wearing diapers?” Beatrix whispered in Melody’s ear. “Do you know how hot it is that you’re so obedient?”

Melody shivered and moaned. They wasn’t wearing them for Bea, but that wasn’t a fact that needed explaining right now.

“You don’t have to be a diaper dolly anymore.” Beatrix whispered lustily. “But if you like to play pretend you can be my puppy, or my pony, or my toy.”

Melody gasped and kissed Beatrix harder, biting Bea’s lip gently. They got a bite back in return, forcing another moan out of Melody.

“Get me off, toy.” Beatrix said, shedding her romper from her shoulders, and pushing Melody’s hands downward. “You haven’t earned a reward from me yet, but if you make this good for me, I’ll make you come later this week. In my bed.”

“Oh god.” Melody said hoarsely.

Beatrix was warm, soft, and wet under Melody’s hands. Her moans were needy and ecstatic in Melody’s ear. Between moans, Bea gave specific orders, teaching Melody how to please her. It wasn’t long before Beatrix shuddered and pressed against Melody. They were hot with desire too, panting into Beatrix’s neck.

“Oh fuck, I needed that.” Beatrix said, taking a deep breath. “Isn’t that funny, Mel? All those useless, stupid fucking guys, and what I needed was you.”

“You need me?” Melody asked, their voice cracking.

“I guess I do.” Beatrix put Melody’s wet fingers to their lips. “Smart, obedient, and actually kind of – handsome?”

Melody whimpered and licked their fingers clean. A couple of tears sprang into their eyes. That was Rosa’s word. It wasn’t right to hear it from Beatrix. None of this was right. It felt good across their skin, in their brain, and especially between their legs. In their heart it felt like a lump of ice.

“Yeah, this can work.” Beatrix said languidly. “Come over to my house this weekend. I’ll let you touch me, I’ll make you beg, and when you’ve earned it, I’ll make you scream my name.”

Melody swallowed around a hard lump in their throat. They couldn’t find the words to respond. They’d never wanted and not wanted something so intensely at the same time.

“I’ll tell you what day and time.” Beatrix said. When Melody still didn’t respond, she laughed. “I like you all quiet and attentive.”

Beatrix kissed Melody gently. She shrugged herself back into her romper and hopped off the desk. “I know you get turned on by the diapers, but I’m over them. I can find another way to humiliate you if you need that. Don’t wear them when you come over to my place, okay? I’ll let you wear them around school if you really want to.”

“Beatrix.” Melody said huskily. Bea had been right, they needed to talk. So far it had only been Bea talking. Melody hesitated while they tried to find the words they needed, and the courage to say them.

“I know, I box-blocked you.” Beatrix chuckled. “That’s what you get for doing it to me last week. If you’re really good tomorrow, I’ll do something for you. Plus, we have the weekend.”

“But I…” Melody tried again.

“That’s how it should be. With you begging.” Beatrix said in satisfaction. “See you tomorrow, Mel.”

Bea collected her bag and her coat, stepping out of the room without a look back.

 

Melody sank to the floor of the office and sobbed. Making plans with Beatrix felt like burying their relationship with Rosa for real. Could they ever go back to Rosa if they spent the night with Beatrix?

That was assuming that they could go back to Rosa at all. Even if Melody broke away from Beatrix totally, was the thing with Rosa fixable? Melody punched the desk, welcoming the pain in their knuckles. It was hard to imagine a return to being Rosa’s little one with the hurt that sat between them now.

Beatrix wanted them. Really wanted them. Had even tried to be nice. Honestly, had been as nice as Melody had ever seen Beatrix. Maybe Melody could fix her. Bea had some weird stuff around emotions, but Melody wasn’t the most neurotypical bear in the woods either. They could help Bea be better, at least with their relationship.

“Our relationship.” Melody said softly.

Beatrix was their girlfriend, for real. That hurt again, it pushed Rosa further away. It made Melody’s nerves dance in delight too. There was too much confusion. Too many conflicting chemicals in Melody’s brain. They felt like they were going to throw up again.

Melody’s gaze fell on a utility knife that had been left on the floor of the office. Without thinking, just needing, they picked it up. The blade flicked out, shiny and new.

For a long time, Melody stared at the razor blade. Their breathing became loud and labored. Melody’s lips were trembling, but their hands were steady.

In a sudden flash of emotional anguish, Melody yanked their sleeve up and drew the blade down the back of their upper arm. The pain was bright and strong. It pushed all the horrible thoughts away to the edges of Melody’s mind.

Gritting their teeth, Melody pressed a tissue to the cut. It stung and throbbed. Good, they thought. A few minutes later the cut had stopped bleeding. Melody’s thoughts were back to being flat and sad.

It was nice to have a reprieve from the turmoil. Melody tucked the utility knife down into the very bottom of their bag. It was time to go home, do some work, and escape into being a baby.

That night, Melody was relieved to see that their bet had paid off. Veronica didn’t spot the cut on their arm. It was just like high school; except they were hiding the cuts from someone who saw a lot more of their skin. That made it harder. At least being babied in the evening meant there was a different way to make the swirling thoughts go away.

 

The next day Melody felt like they were in a dream. Everything outside the house felt unreal. It was almost like they were watching themselves make out with Beatrix instead of actually doing it. Beatrix made a Friday date with Melody. They managed to not think about what that meant, with help from their new knife.

It was a relief to get home. Melody found Veronica in the living room and knelt down next to her, putting their head on her leg.

“Well, hello there.” Veronica said, stroking Melody’s hair. “Somebody needs attention.”

“Can I be little, please?” Melody asked.

“Did your clients agree to push those last two projects back to the New Year?” Veronica asked.

“Yes.” Melody said.

“And you finished all the unit tests that Dr. Sorenson was asking for?”

“Yeah, all done. They’re way faster to do on the school’s network.”

“Then you’re all ready to be little.” Veronica said, putting away her book. “Let’s start with a bath.”

“Do I have to?” Melody asked, unconsciously touching the arm they’d marked.

“Yes.” Veronica said. “You managed to worm you way out of one yesterday and you didn’t shower this morning. There won’t be any stinky babies on my watch.”

Melody followed Veronica to the bathroom nervously. They managed to pass inspection when Veronica stripped them down. Sinking into the tub, Melody let themself relax a little. Being bathed by Veronica was one of their favorite things. It was the first caregiver thing she’d done for them.

As Veronica scrubbed their hair and rinsed it, Melody let the gross thoughts of the day melt away. In a few minutes they’d be safely diapered and dressed in some kind of fun pajamas. They could hang out with their sister until bedtime, when sleep would shut down all thinking until morning.

“No falling asleep in the tub, little one.” Veronica said, her hand closing around Melody’s upper arm.

Melody yelped. As soon as they did it, they realized their mistake. It was too late, Veronica already had their arm in hand, inspecting it.

“I’m sorry hon, do you have a bruise or…” Veronica trailed off when she saw the three parallel cuts on the back of Melody’s arm.

Melody snatched their arm back and put their hand over the cuts. “It’s just a scratch.”

“Is that what it is?” Veronica asked heatedly. “Just three parallel scratches, one of which was obviously done on a different day than the others?”

“Yeah, that’s it.” Melody said sullenly.

“Get out of the tub, little one.” Veronica said tersely.

Melody sighed and heaved themself up. They stood on the bath rug, water pouring off of them.

“Over my knee.” Veronica said, pulling out a chair and taking a seat.

“I’m soaking.” Melody protested at the absurdity of it. “You’ll get wet.”

“That’s not a concern right now. You get over my lap right now, unless you want to be grounded from playing video games with Briana, until Christmas.”

Melody was caught off guard by how serious that threat felt. Gingerly, they lowered themself over Veronica’s lap. Her forearm pinned Melody’s lower back like a vice. They winced, tensing their rear.

“I want to be completely clear about this.” Veronica said. “I am not spanking you for cutting yourself. That’s a separate issue to deal with, but it doesn’t merit punishment. I am spanking you for lying to me.”

“It’s none of your business.” Melody said in a surly tone. “It’s private.”

SMACK! Veronica’s hand came down hard on Melody’s wet rear. They gasped and blushed at the sudden pain and embarrassment.

“None of my business?” Veronica asked, spanking Melody again. “Are you trying to push me away, Melody? Is that what you want to do?”

“Ow!” Melody cried. “It helps me! I’ve done it before. It’s fine!”

Four more smacks came down on Melody’s rear. Veronica was either spanking harder or the fact that their butt was wet was making it worse. Possibly both.

“Melody, if you’ve done this kind of self-harm before, then you know it doesn’t help. Not past the moment.” Veronica landed several more swats on Melody’s rear. “It’s dangerous and it leads down a very bad road.”

“I don’t care!” Melody wailed.

“Little one,” Veronica said. “You are going to get the most though spanking I’ve given you yet. Then you’re going right down to baby treatment, and we’re going to get to the bottom of this.”

“Don’t wanna.” Melody said. “Can’t make me.”

“I can do anything if it saves you.” Veronica said.

The spanking that followed seemed like it would never end. Melody went from yelping, to crying, to howling sobs. Through it all, Veronica rained down measured slaps on Melody’s butt. The pain throbbed deep into Melody’s back and legs. It erased everything else in their mind. There was nothing left in the world except Melody’s stinging butt, Veronica’s relentless hand, and the crying that wouldn’t stop.

It did eventually end, of course. Melody was walked naked back to their room, but they barely registered it. Veronica never left them. She called orders to Jane and Briana while she put Melody down to be diapered.

Not one, but two diapers and a booster pad went under Melody’s rear. They were limp and unresisting when Veronica spread the soothing lidocaine cream across their rear. They didn’t protest when the triple layers of padding were wrapped around them, even though it was so thick that Melody couldn’t close their legs.

The addition of a plastic diaper-cover, which secured with a Velcro strap, caused some grumbles, which Veronica ignored. With all that bulk it took Jane and Veronica both to get Melody into an oversized black onesie.

Briana had brought Totoro and a pacifier. She put the former in Melody’s arms, the latter she clipped to Melody’s onesie. Jane had brought a bottle full of warm formula. At Veronica’s direction, they left the room and closed the door.

Exhausted and buried in little-paraphernalia, Melody let Veronica feed them with the bottle. She was holding them swaddled in a blanket that pinned their arms and legs. Melody could have pushed out of the blanket but didn’t have the energy.

When the bottle was empty, Veronica wiped Melody’s lips. She secured the edge of the blanket, trapping Melody more firmly in their snuggly prison.

“Now, little baby, we are going to talk.” Veronica said.

“Wonika.” Melody said. They blushed. They hadn’t even been trying to use baby talk.

“I’ll start if you don’t mind.” Veronica said gently. “What was the trigger for you to cut yourself?”

“Beatrix kissed me.” Melody said.

“She assaulted you?” Veronica frowned.

“No, she did that before.” Melody said.

“When she took the pictures?” Veronica asked.

“No uh…” Melody sighed. “There’s a lot.”

“I need to hear it.” Veronica said. “Letting you fall is not an option, remember?”

“It’s hard.” Melody said. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“That’s not your choice right now.” Veronica said. “You’re a baby, swaddled up in my arms. You can’t go anywhere until we talk about this. If I have to sit here all night until you finally talk, and I change your poopy diaper afterwards, that’s what will happen.”

A sudden sob burst out of Melody. It was just the one though, and they felt a little better after. If they didn’t have a choice, talking was easier. It was something they had to do, no matter what they wanted.

“Beatrix has been – controlling me.” Melody said softly. “She makes me do stuff with her. Because of the pictures she has.”

Veronica didn’t reply, she just stroked Melody’s back through the blanket.

“Then Rosa and I got together. It was great, but you were making me wear diapers and Bea was making me wear them too.” Melody sighed. “But then Rosa liked the diapers. We had – some good days. She took care of me. Let me call her mommy.”

“You’re being such a good, brave baby.” Veronica said softly. “Keep going.”

“Then Beatrix came at me again. This was th-the day I came back really sad. The recent one, I guess.” Melody took a deep breath. “She was kissing all over me. But I made her mad, and she hit me. Rosa saw the marks on my face, and the lipstick too.”

“Oh sweetie.” Veronica whispered.

“Rosa told me I had to stop seeing Beatrix. But I can’t. She has the pictures and – and I like it. I like being told what to do. I wanted to be with Beatrix since freshman year.” Melody felt tears pouring down their cheeks. “Rosa said – said I couldn’t be with her, if I didn’t stop with Beatrix. She – she left.”

“No wonder you were in crisis that day.” Veronica said. “We’re almost there, you can do it. Finish telling me.”

“This week, Bea said she liked me. We – we’re dating now. But when I kiss her, it’s like Rosa goes away more. I don’t know what to do.” Melody started sobbing softly. “It hurts if I’m alone, it hurts if I’m with Beatrix. It hurts so much my tummy gets sick.”

Melody buried their face in Veronica’s chest. “I remembered cutting from high school. I just needed to not hurt. I had to stop it.”

“My dear, beloved Melody.” Veronica said, stroking Melody’s back in slow circles. “I’m so sorry you’re hurting so much. I can’t let you keep cutting yourself though. That’s only going to hurt you more.”

“I don’t know what to do!” Melody sobbed.

“I think you should stop seeing Beatrix.” Veronica said.

“I can’t.” Melody whimpered.

“You can. You’re my brave, smart, hard-working baby. You’re scared, but you can get past the fear.” Veronica sighed softly. “Melody, my darling, Beatrix hurts you. She’s hurting your heart and she’s hurting your body. It has to stop.”

“I h-have a date with her on Friday.” Melody said. “I can s-stop it after that.”

“No.” Veronica said firmly. “You can tell her that you aren’t coming to the date. That she can’t see you anymore. It will be scary, but you will be free.”

“M-maybe.” Melody said.

That hurt too. It was unfair, brutally so, that giving up on Beatrix would hurt and that giving up on Rosa would hurt too.  Inside of Melody were two wolves. It didn’t matter what either one of them was, because you’re not supposed to have wolves inside of you. Melody’s stupid wolves were going to kill them.

“You have a very strong attachment to Beatrix.” Veronica said. “It’s not healthy. Especially considering how she treats you. I’ll take your maybe for now. Before Friday afternoon, you need to tell me what you’re going to do.”

“What if I say I’m going on the date?” Melody asked miserably.

“I will very strongly disagree with you. Because I love you.” Veronica said. “I don’t see anything but pain for you on that date, or any other time with Beatrix. You don’t have to have a lover who hits you. Nobody should have to endure that. You can find someone who treats you like the wonderful, beautiful person you are, even if it isn’t Rosa.”

Melody couldn’t answer. They’d be shaking all over if it wasn’t for the restrictive blanket. Everything felt so bad, all the time. Veronica’s words sounded nice, but they didn’t feel real. Melody was at the bottom of a pit, and they couldn’t see the top anymore.

“I’m going to stay with you tonight.” Veronica said.

“What?” Melody craned their neck to look up at Veronica. “Really? Why?”

“A couple of reasons.” Veronica said. “The biggest one is that I love you, and you need to be loved. The smaller one is that I haven’t found your knife yet.”

“Why?” Melody asked. “I make so much trouble for everybody. You just wanted a renter; you didn’t need all this.”

“I didn’t know how much my family needed you, until we met you.” Veronica said. “I’m not joking when I say I love you. Briana isn’t either.”

Melody nuzzled Veronica’s chest until their tears were wiped away. “You’ll really stay?”

“I won’t leave you alone for a single minute tonight. I’m even going to sleep in this bed with you.”

“C-can Briana sleep here too?” Melody asked. “Never mind, the bed isn’t big enough, sorry.”

“We have an inflatable mattress.” Veronica said. “She can sleep on that. It’ll be like a sleepover.”

Melody managed their first smile of the day. They sighed and leaned into Veronica. Nothing was going to be okay, but that was later. Right now, for one night, Veronica and Briana could keep the bad things away.

[kerry]

I'm glad we have finally reached the point where Melody "asked" for help. I don't expect smooth sailing from here, but I hope we're nearing the end of Beatrix.

[SolSombraYSoldados]

12 minutes ago, kerry said:

I'm glad we have finally reached the point where Melody "asked" for help. I don't expect smooth sailing from here, but I hope we're nearing the end of Beatrix.

Cat is out of the bag, there's no more hiding how bad things are. Next chapter is some more Melody lore too on how they got where they are.

Veronica is on the case!

[YourFNF]

22 hours ago, SolSombraYSoldados said:

Melody whimpered and licked their fingers clean. A couple of tears sprang into their eyes. That was Rosa’s word. It wasn’t right to hear it from Beatrix. None of this was right. It felt good across their skin, in their brain, and especially between their legs. In their heart it felt like a lump of ice.

Melody get the hell out of here. Melody get out... Fuck hon...

22 hours ago, SolSombraYSoldados said:

elody managed their first smile of the day. They sighed and leaned into Veronica. Nothing was going to be okay, but that was later. Right now, for one night, Veronica and Briana could keep the bad things away.

[SolSombraYSoldados]

1 hour ago, YourFNF said:

Mel is an absolute gay disaster. ?

[LilRedAli]

I gotta say real quick, that I’m connecting so much with Melody right now. I noticed it in the beginning but idk…..I’m just so hooked on this tale and characters! I even went to the website to read ahead cuz I just could not wait any longer lol I’ve also re read the chapters so many times that I can picture each scene almost as if I’m watching it on tv ? Thank ya kindly for making these stories and I can’t wait to read more about this wild family!
Also real quick am I allowed to ask how many chapters there are? 

[SolSombraYSoldados]

On 9/24/2022 at 9:16 PM, LilRedAli said:

I gotta say real quick, that I’m connecting so much with Melody right now. I noticed it in the beginning but idk…..I’m just so hooked on this tale and characters! I even went to the website to read ahead cuz I just could not wait any longer lol I’ve also re read the chapters so many times that I can picture each scene almost as if I’m watching it on tv ? Thank ya kindly for making these stories and I can’t wait to read more about this wild family!
Also real quick am I allowed to ask how many chapters there are? 

Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and connecting with my favorite gay disaster.  

There are 40 chapters in total, ending with Briana's POV of Christmas Day.

[SolSombraYSoldados]

I know there was trauma in the last chapter but now there's a snow day! Please forgive me.

-----

 

Chapter 28

Melody woke up next to Veronica, cuddled against her. That was seriously weird. They'd come to rely on her older, gothier roommate for a while, but there'd still been some distance. There wasn't a lot of distance at the moment. More like a thin nightshirt on Veronica's side, and only-slightly-thicker pajamas on Melody's. Briana was snoring on an air mattress on the floor. Cutely, of course.

Go Bri, even your snores are cute.

They tried drawing away from Veronica and only managed to wake her up. It was odd seeing Veronica without her gothic makeup on, though her eyes were pretty intense even without their sharp outlines.

"Good morning Melody." Veronica said softly. "How are you feeling?"

"Bleh." Melody said. "Better than yesterday."

"Good. Hmm, you're wet too." Veronica said, squeezing Melody's rear. "Did you just go?"

"I am?" Melody frowned. "No, I woke up just now."

"You must have gone in your sleep then." Veronica said. "I know we put you to bed dry."

I'm a bedwetter now? Melody asked themself. Great. Just put me in the trash can with the rest of the garbage.

"Are you alright to wait for a change until after I feed Briana?" Veronica asked, with an uncharacteristically hesitant expression. "I'm a little sore."

"Yeah that's okay." Melody hesitated and bit their lip. "Um, can I ask about that?"

"Of course, little one." Veronica said.

"Why?" Melody asked. They probably should have included more than a single word, but everything they came up with to expand the question sounded either insulting or stupid in their head.

"To be closer to her." Veronica said. "We're almost the same age. She's not my daughter by blood. I wanted something – primal. Something that would bind us together on a spiritual level."

"Did it work?" Melody asked.

"I think so." Veronica said. "Why, are you wanting..."

"No!" Melody said in an urgent whisper. "I'm just curious."

"Okay. I mean, I considered it for a moment when I thought you were asking, but I don't think we're close enough yet." Veronica kissed Melody on the forehead.

That was a scary thought. Scary because it felt sexy in some ways, Melody realized. They didn't want sexy from Veronica. They wanted comfort, caring, support... they wanted a mom.

"Hah, yeah, we aren't." Melody said with an evasive chuckle. "I mean, I don't even call you mom or anything, like Briana does."

"You would be welcome to." Veronica said. "I think of you as my child."

Melody froze up. Even breathing was suspended. That statement touched a lot of emotions. Right now, emotions were like falling knives. You had to be skilled and a little lucky to grab one without getting cut. Better to not.

"Breathe, Melody." Veronica commanded.

Melody gasped. They looked at Veronica through wide eyes. Behind those eyes was a lot of fear and vulnerability. All they could do was hope that Veronica would be gentle. She could break a lot of things from where she was lying.

"I'm not asking you to call me that." Veronica said. "It will always be your choice to define the relationship between us."

"I want it too much." Melody said. "It hurts."

Truth came so easily to their lips now. They'd been soiled and stripped bare in front of Veronica dozens of times. With their confession about Beatrix, it felt like there was nothing secret left between them. It wasn't much of an exaggeration to say that Veronica had saved their life. Melody felt like they had to give her anything and everything in return.

"Why does it hurt?" Veronica asked softly.

"Rosa." Melody said. "I called her Mommy and she loved it. I loved calling her that. Also... my bio-mom."

"Tell me about her. Your biological mother." Veronica said.

"Her name is Charity." Melody said with a bitter laugh. "She was always kind of freaky-religious, but she's in the Quiverfulls now."

"Oh dear." Veronica said. "I imagine she isn't happy with your sexuality."

"When I fell in love with Beatrix I told her." Melody said. "She – she turned cold, like a stone. Said she wasn't my mom anymore. I've never spoken to her since. I mean, I sent a lot of texts and letters and stuff before I gave up, but she never answered."

"My poor Melody." Veronica gathered Melody up to her bosom.

It was comforting, warm and safe feeling. There was a slight odd odor, sour and soapy. It took Melody a moment to realize what it was. When they did, they blushed. Nothing like literally smelling breast milk to make them feel like a baby.

"Did you have another parent in your life at the time?" Veronica asked.

Oh good, that question, Melody thought.

"You can uh, wake Briana up if you want." Melody said. "You said you were sore, we don't need to do my whole life's story right now."

"I'm fine." Veronica said. "No evading. I've learned that we often don't come back to these topics when you say we can discuss them later."

"I have a bio-dad." Melody said in a whisper. "He left when I was a kid. That's when mom started joining scary churches. Eventually this guy showed up and married her. David."

Even after more than four years, Melody was surprised by the amount of venom that came out when they said that name. Apparently Veronica was too, she flinched a little.

"I take it he wasn't supportive either." Veronica said, in the understatement of the year.

"He came with some guys from the church to kidnap me. Probably to send me to conversion therapy." Melody said. "Beatrix saved me."

"She did?" Veronica asked. She sounded astonished. Melody gave themself some fake internet points for making Doctor Goth drop her therapist mask.

"Yeah uh, we're friends. Thing have only gotten all fucked up recently. There's advantages to having her for a friend if someone comes after you." Melody sighed. "She uh, actually scared them. Bea is terrifying when she wants to be, and she wanted to be that day. For me."

"I'm impressed." Veronica said, grudgingly.

"It was a crazy scene." Melody said. "It was loud enough to get the Resident Advisor of the dorms involved. After that, the church guys had to back off."

"And you've supported yourself since." Veronica said.

"Yeah, had to. Bea knows how to make money, she's smart about that stuff. Some of the ways she does it are even ethical." Melody chuckled humorlessly. "She helped me. A lot. She's so beautiful. She's so powerful. She's my girlfriend now. I don't know what to do."

"Thank you for telling me all this. I understand so much more now. I still think a romantic relationship with Beatrix is a bad idea." Veronica said. When Melody protested, she cut them off, "But! If you really wanted it, I wouldn't stop you by force. You HAVE to set boundaries with her though. That's not negotiable."

"Nobody sets boundaries with Beatrix." Melody said. "She's – Beatrix."

"I'm sure people set boundaries with her all the time. I doubt she runs roughshod over Marc, the Dean of Economics. I know him well. He's not a pushover."

"That's different. He has power over her." Melody said.

"So do you. She wants something from you. You don't have to provide it." Veronica said. "If she wants what she's getting out of your relationship, she has to respect what you need."

Melody shook their head.

"If you can't make that happen, then you have to end it with her." Veronica said. "Not necessarily the friendship, though I suspect you don't have many boundaries there either."

"What if I do that, and I never see her again?" Melody asked.

"What if she never hits you again?" Veronica countered.

Melody sighed. They took a few slow, deep breaths. The mix of smells in the bed should have been pretty funky. Both Melody and Veronica smelled like anybody does, waking up. On top of that, one of them was rocking a wet diaper and the other had sour-milk boobies.

The smell wasn't bad. It was comfort. There were smells under the obvious ones that healed some of the aches inside of Melody. The clean part of Veronica's smell was safety. Musty odors from the wicked-old house meant happiness, Melody realized.

They'd been happy here. Really, actually happy. Better than maybe anything since bio-dad had gone. Too-emotionally raw to worry about awkwardness, Melody rested their cheek on the exposed skin of Veronica's upper chest.

"Veronica." Melody said. "Will you be my mom?"

"Yes Melody." Veronica said, squeezing them tightly. "I will. Forever, if you want it."

"I want." Melody said, squeezing Veronica right back.

"OHMYGODYES!" Briana squealed – from above?

Melody had a mere moment to register the outburst before Briana crashed on top of the two of them. She latched on her mom and sibling, literally vibrating with excitement.

"Ow! Dude, how long have you been awake?" Melody asked. "How much did you hear?"

"Lots!" Briana said. "I love you Melody. I love you Mom! I'm so excited, and sorry for you Mel, and I couldn't take it anymore!"

"I'm glad you're excited, Baby Bee, but please don't land on us like that again. You are petite, but not baby sized." Veronica said, scooting Briana over so that Melody was between the two of them.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it!" Briana pressed up close to Melody's back.

"Please don't repeat the stuff I said about Beatrix to people, sis." Melody said.

"I won't!" Briana said breezily.

"Briana, I want you to take what Melody asked seriously. Nothing Melody said leaves this room, not even if it's Gary, do you understand?" Veronica's voice had that mommy-whip.

"I wasn't going to!" Briana protested. It wasn't a very convincing protest.

"I know you won't." Veronica said. "Because your sibling bravely shared something private with us. You wouldn't hurt them by sharing it with people they don't want to include."

"Okay, sorry mommy! I won't, really!" Briana said contritely. She nuzzled the back of Melody's neck. "I wouldn't hurt you Melody. I love you."

"I love you too, Bratana." Melody said, chuckling.

"What did you just call me?" Briana asked in an outraged tone.

"It's your superhero name. Bratana." Melody said with a giggle. "Because I know you love me, and I love you, but you are bratty a lot."

"Meanie." Briana accused good naturedly.

"That's my job as the older one." Melody said, chuckling. "Anyway um – if you two want to do your morning thing, I can go take a shower."

"If you just wait a bit, I'll take care of you when we're done." Veronica said. "Unless it bothers you to be here when I feed Briana?"

"No, it doesn't. Really." Melody said sincerely. "Today's my long day at school though. I should get going."

"I could call in sick for you." Veronica said. "It's the last day before the break, plenty of people are on an early vacation anyway."

"No, I can do this." Melody said. "Thanks Mom."

"I'm still worried about you. What are you going to do if you run into Beatrix today?"

"I won't." Melody said. "She has something she's doing."

They squirmed out of bed and dug in their school bag, fishing out the utility knife at the bottom. After a moment's hesitation, they offered the knife to Veronica.

"You're a good kid, Melody." Veronica said, taking the knife. "I'm proud of you."

Melody blushed, squirming in their sweaty pjs and heavy diaper. "Thanks Mom."

"That's coming really easily to you." Veronica said, smiling. "Have you wanted to say it for a while?"

"Yeah." Melody said bashfully.

"I'm glad we found our way there." Veronica said. "Go take your shower while I feed your sister. I'm still going to get you dressed for school, and I'll make you some breakfast before you go, alright?"

"Yes Mom. Thank you." Melody said, a little warm glow in their heart.

That little glow was surrounded by dark and scary stuff. Like a bonfire or a site of grace was in a Fromsoft game. It was a lot better than not having one though. It made the thought of going to school bearable. For once the long, exhausting day would be a blessing. Melody's long day didn't allow time for dwelling on one's thoughts.

Back at home, Melody was just starting to relax into some little-time, when their phone buzzed angrily. It was the buzz that meant someone had tried to text them repeatedly and broken through the DND setting. There were only two people that would be messaging them that way, and Melody's heart couldn't take either of them in its current state.

Grabbing the phone, they didn't look at the lock screen to see who it was. It didn't matter if they weren't going to answer. Melody shoved their phone under their bed and went to find their sister.

The first day of break started off so sweetly. Melody woke up wet again, but they refused to dwell on it. It was probably just a temporary thing and it meant they got another change from Veronica in the morning, was all. After breakfast they had an urgent invitation to play Cloudland with Briana.

"We have to figure out a sword for you." Briana said.

"I've got one, don't worry." Melody said.

"Mom said we can't play with the metal ones, remember?"

"Yeah, but I forgot I have a plastic one. Well, foam and resin, but basically the same."

"I wanna see! Go get it. Hurry sib!" Briana said, jumping up and down excitedly.

Melody grinned and took their time. After all, they had a costume change planned as well as a sword to retrieve. Briana was so cute in her She Ra pajama top with her Sword of Protection that Melody knew they were going to have to make an effort to match their sister.

The back of their closet held the red robe-like suiken from Melody's Inuyasha costume. The white wig, tooth necklace, and fangs were in a box somewhere that was too much trouble to find. However, the huge Tessaiga replica was easy to spot. Melody checked themself out in the mirror, resting the fur-hilted sword on their shoulders. Not bad!

"What is that!?" Briana asked, mouth agape, when Melody returned.

"It's half my Inuyasha costume." Melody said. At Briana's blank look, they added, "It's an anime. Inuyasha is the title character."

"Oh, what's it about?" Briana asked.

"I'll show you. Whenever I say Kagome, you say Inuyasha, okay?"

"Huh?"

"Kagome!" Melody said urgently.

"Inuyasha?" Briana replied, still confused.

"Kagome!" Melody repeated.

"Inuyasha!" Briana said, following up with a giggle.

They went back and forth ten more times before Melody let themself fall back on the couch laughing.

"Okay, now you know what the anime is about."

"I really don't though."

"Don't worry, it's a meme." Melody said. "I'll show you the anime and it'll all make sense."

"Can we PLEASE play Cloudland now?" Briana said impatiently.

"Sure. It's time to duel!" Melody said, smirking.

"You're so weird sometimes, sib." Briana said, giggling.

Weird or not, Melody was victorious in their duel against their mind-controlled sister an hour or so later. Alanna herself gave Melody a medal for defeating the Space Spiders of Zartan10 and saving all of Cloudland. They received special commendation for noticing Briana's mind-controlled state and refraining from hurting their sister in the duel.

Briana received a medal for brokering a peace with the spider people and forgiving them for mind-controlling her. Melody's stuffie of Kumoko from "So I'm a Spider, So What?" also joined Cloudland as an official knight and representative of her people. Since both medals were foil-wrapped chocolate coins, the two knights ate them immediately after the awards ceremony, as was tradition.

"Lunchtime." Jane said, poking her head into the drawing room. She paused and looked at the couch cushions that had been strewn around the drawing room. "I see you two have had a productive morning."

"I saved Briana from mind control!" Melody said. They giggled, feeling a little nervous about continuing the game with Jane there.

"And I made peace with the spider people even though they mind controlled me." Briana said eagerly.

"That's very good. However, this debriefing hasn't explained why you both have chocolate on your faces."

"We got medals." Melody said bashfully.

Jane looked at the bowl of chocolate coins, which had lost a lot of it's volume since the day started. "You must have gotten a lot of medals." She said dryly.

"That's because we're such good knights!" Briana said, bouncing over to Jane. "We saved the day!"

"Well you better have saved your appetite too, or we're going to have to revisit whether you're good knights or not. It's lunchtime."

"What's for lunch?" Melody asked, hesitantly walking up to join Briana.

"Grilled cheese and tomato soup." Jane said. "But you kids better eat your whole lunch, or I'm not taking you sledding afterwards."

"Sledding?!" Briana said with an excited gasp.

"Really?" Melody asked shyly. "Both of us?"

"IF you both eat your whole lunch." Jane said. She spit on a corner of her shirt and rubbed Briana's face clean. "If either of you doesn't, we're not going."

"We will!" Briana insisted.

"Yeah, no prob..." Melody was caught off guard when Jane spit on another shirt corner and reached for them. Their attempt to back away was slow and Jane didn't acknowledge it, rubbing their face clean with just as much brusque care as she had Briana.

"Good, get your padded butts in the kitchen then, while it's still warm." Jane gave them each a firm pat on said butts to send them on their way.

It was a relief to see that the kitchen was empty. Playing around Briana was awesome. It was almost the same with Veronica. Jane they were still a tiny bit nervous about, but it was pretty much okay. Any of the other roommates would be too much. Melody knew they wouldn't be able to relax enough to be little with anyone else.

Melody squished into a kitchen chair. It wasn't their fault they were wet, exactly. Briana had suggested wetting as a representation for damage in their duel. She was surprisingly skilled with that plastic sword of hers. They chuckled and elbowed their sister, making Briana spill some soup on her pj pants.

"Hey, what was that for!?" Briana protested.

"For making my seat so squishy." Melody said, sticking their tongue out at Briana.

"Hah! I am a deadly foe, even mind-controlled." Briana said triumphantly. "You're lucky you had a secret weapon, or you never would have beaten me."

"You mean the power of love? Strongest anime weapon there is." Melody grinned.

Briana gave a glowing grin, like she did every time Melody told her sister that they loved her. It was dumb to hope that Briana would always grin like that in response, but Melody hoped it anyway.

The quality of lunch made Melody drastically raise their opinion of Jane's cooking skills. The soup was store-bought, but the grilled cheese was a real treat. The bread was cooked to a perfect golden-brown, but every bit of the cheese was melty. It was even cut into triangles AND the crusts had been cut off. A true masterpiece of little cuisine.

As soon as they were done eating, Jane was on them to clear their plates and follow her to the bathroom. Taking Jane's hand and having Briana take their other as they walked in a little line to the bathroom made Melody blush.

Once there, Jane wasted no time stripping Melody of their pajama pants and diaper and seating them on the potty.

"I don't have to go." Melody protested, holding their costume robe bunched around their waist. "I got it all out during the duel."

"We're going out for the afternoon." Jane said, prepping a toothbrush and diligently brushing Briana's teeth. "This is your chance to go poop before we leave. The bathrooms at the park are locked during the winter, so if you go while we're out, you'll either have to stay in your messy diaper or get changed in the back of the car."

Melody felt their face burn scarlet and looked down at their knees. It was worse because they hadn't been paying much attention and actually did need to go. It hadn't been urgent or anything, but they were glad that Jane had reminded them. Like a toddler would need to be reminded.

As quietly as they could, Melody did their business. They realized how little they were feeling when Jane got them off the potty and Melody realized that they hadn't wiped themself. Having Jane bend them over at the potty and wipe them crashed what was left of Melody's big-brain.

They stood obediently for Jane to brush their teeth while Briana was on the potty, still holding their robe bunched at their waist. Jane had to take the robe out of their hands so they wouldn't flash the household on their way to the changing table.

Jane diapered them both in thick diapers which were normally reserved for nighttime, and included a booster pad in each one. Bemused, Melody watched as Jane added layer upon layer of clothing. From inside to out they were dressed in long underwear, thick socks, sweatpants, a shirt, a sweater, snow pants, boots, a puffy coat, and a toque. As Jane was stuffing mittens in their coat pocket, Melody started sweating.

"It's roasting in all this." Melody complained.

"You won't think so when you're sledding." Jane said. "Come on now kids, we need to move if we're going to get a good amount of play time in."

She took Melody and Briana's hands and lead them into the living room. Suzie was by the door in her own coat with a carry-on suitcase.

"Where are you going?" Briana asked. She sounded so worried that Melody was immediately on-edge.

"To my mom and dad's." Suzie said.

"But, you have to be here for Christmas!" Briana said. She was right on the brink of tears, judging from her tone.

"I will be, I'm in the town's Christmas play." Suzie said. "But I have to see my mom and dad at least once on the holidays, right? I'll be gone less than a week."

"I guess so." Briana said, with a slight sniffle.

"Come on sis, that's fair." Melody said.

"Sis huh?" Suzie said with a grin. She leaned in to adjust Melody's hat. "You two are as cute as buttons. Are you the older one, Mello?"

"I uh..." Melody froze. They weren't supposed to play with Suzie like this, but they couldn't remember exactly why. "Yeah, Briana's my little sister."

"You don't have to say it like that!" Briana whined.

"Take care of your sis while I'm gone then, Mello?" Suzie said.

"Okay, but why Mello?" Melody asked.

"I have a cousin named Melody that I call Mello. Is it okay?" Suzie asked.

"I guess so." Melody squirmed.

"Great!" Suzie hugged them all, including Jane. "I'm sorry I didn't get to see Veronica. I'm out until Tuesday night."

"We'll keep a lamp on for you." Jane said with a smile. "Say hello to Beth for me."

"You bet. Mom always asks about you." Suzie said. "Have fun at the park kids!"

Melody waved hesitantly, in contrast to Briana's frantic arm-windmilling. The door opened with a blast of cold air. All the extra layers were a good idea, Melody had to admit. Jane packed them into the backseat of her car, which already had a pair of sleds tied to the roof.

"Daddy, is everyone going to be home for Christmas? Is anybody else leaving?" Briana asked plaintively as Jane drove through the lightly falling snow.

"All the roommates will be." Jane said. "Though I think Casey is going out of town this week too."

"What about Gary, and Tamira?" Briana asked nervously.

"You'd have to ask them." Jane said. "You talk to them more than I do."

"Hey Bri." Melody said, clasping their sister's hand. "Want to have a sleepover on Christmas Eve?"

"Really?!" Briana asked. "Can we please, Daddy?"

"It's okay right – Jane?" Melody said, tripping over the name a little. They'd forgotten for a minute that they didn't call Jane dad like Briana did.

"I don't see why not, as long as you kids go to sleep before Saint Nicholas arrives." Jane said. "Because if you don't, it will be Krampus who comes instead of Saint Nicholas."

"No way." Melody said, giggling. Santa was one thing, they were happy to play along since Briana believed. Jane couldn't expect them to believe in the weird devil thing from Binding of Isaac and that terrible horror film.

"What's Krampus?" Briana asked, worriedly.

"He is a hairy devil creature that travels the world with Saint Nicholas. Good children are visited by Santa, as you know. But for the bad children, Krampus goes to the house instead and puts the children in his sack."

Jane explained it in her same dry tone that she used to talk about the news or what was happening in the house. Melody fidgeted in their seat. None of this was real, right? They were fuzzy on some things at the moment, but they were pretty sure that Santa wasn't a real thing, so this Krampus couldn't be either.

"He takes children away!?" Briana said, really scared now.

"Just for a short time. They are spanked by the birch rod that he carries, and then returned to their parents in the morning." Jane said. "But I'm sure you kids will not have to worry, because you will help clean the house on Heiliger Abend – Christmas Eve, and go to bed when you are told."

"We will, we will!" Briana said nervously. She grabbed Melody's hand and squeezed it hard. "Right Melody? You'll help right?"

The panic in Briana's eyes further eroded Melody's confidence that there was no Krampus. Something about all this felt like a weird set-up for a joke, but nobody was treating it like one. Jane still sounded deadly serious.

"Uh, yeah, of course. We'll clean the whole house. Promise." Melody said with a nod. Despite their lingering disbelief, making the promise removed the bit of nervousness that had been building in their belly.

"Okay, good!" Briana nodded in relief. "You'll tell Krampus that there are only good kids at the house, right Daddy?"

"Oh, he is not friendly like Saint Nicholas." Jane said. "He doesn't talk to parents. The Krampus can smell if a child is bad or not. Even if they have only done bad things that their parents didn't see, he is not fooled."

Briana swallowed hard. "But I'm a good girl, right?"

"You are a very good girl Briana." Jane said. "You shouldn't have to worry. You either, Melody, you are a good kid."

Melody squirmed. "Th-thanks." They hadn't been worried about the stupid Krampus anyway, but it was still nice to get a compliment.

When they arrived at the park, Briana and Melody's mad dash to the snow was delayed a bit by the fact that Jane wouldn't give them their sleds until they had their mittens on and their coat-hoods tied about their faces.

The snow had been steadily falling all night and morning, leaving most of the park as a pristine wonderland of gentle white slopes. There were a few college students a couple of hills over, but no families out in the middle of a workday.

Briana floundered in the snow a bit. It was knee high on Melody but hitting their little sister at mid-thigh. With a wild whoop, Melody dashed forward, high-stepping through the snow and throwing themself down on their sled.

They made a satisfying 'poomph!' sound as they hit the snow and the sled was sliding right away. As they picked up speed, Melody could hear Briana calling for them to wait for her. Their only response was a mad cackle.

It was a good hill. Melody got up to an exciting speed and shot far past the bottom of the hill before their sled finally slowed. They jerked the sled to the side to stop and looked back for Briana. She hadn't been nearly as brave in launching herself and was coming to a slow stop just past the base of the hill.

Melody heaved themself up and trudged back to Briana with their sled in tow. "Hey sis, you gotta go faster than that!"

"It's scary!" Briana complained. "Can you push me next time?"

"I can show you how to jump on the sled like I did." Melody said. "It's really fun!"

"But what if I miss the sled?" Briana asked nervously.

"Then you'll fall in the snow – like this!" Melody lurched forward and pushed Briana back into the snow.

"Hey!" Briana yelled indignantly.

Melody's laughs were cut off by a blast of snow in their face. Just as they were recovering from the first snowball, another one landed on their chin.

"Oh that is IT!" Melody said. "You're getting it!"

They dived into the snow and wrestled their little sister into submission, pinning her and washing her face with snow. Briana shrieked and thrashed, but had to quickly surrender.

"I give up! You win!" Briana shrieked. "Mel, staaaaahp!

Melody converted their grip on Briana to a hug and pulled their sister close. They giggled in the snow for a bit while they caught their breath.

"That was mean." Briana accused good-naturedly.

"I'm the older sibling. That's what you get when you mess with me." Melody said.

"But I didn't even do anything." Briana protested. "You pushed me first."

"That's how it goes." Melody shrugged. "It's the price of having a big sibling take care of you."

"You will, right?" Briana asked. "You'll take care of me?"

"Of course, dummy. I take care of people that are important to me." Melody squeezed Briana.

"And you won't leave?" Briana asked softly.

"I might not be in the house every day." Melody said, thinking of Suzie's trip. "But you'll be my little sister forever, if that's what you're asking."

"Yeah, that's it." Briana said, grabbing Melody and holding them tight.

"Come on, let's sled some more." Melody said.

It was a bit of a pain to get up, with all the padding that Jane had put them in. Once they were up though, it didn't slow Melody down much. They already had to sort of waddle through the deep snow, which left plenty of room for the diaper's bulk.

Back at the top, Briana insisted on being pushed at the top of the hill. She asked for that three times, until Melody's excited cackles convinced her to try jumping on her sled. Hilariously, she screamed all the way down. When Melody caught up to Briana at the bottom, her sister had gone full-on goblin laugh.

They took a lot more sled rides that way, trying their best to launch at the same time and race for distance. Melody could get faster momentum, but Briana was so light that her sled shot across the snow.

After being beaten for the third time in a row, Melody decided to switch things up. The next time Briana ran for the hill slope, Melody followed just behind. They threw their sled out on the ground in front of them, took a trio of sprinting steps, and jumped onto it.

For a moment it felt like they were going to pitch over into packed snow all their previous trips had compressed. They managed to balance at the last minute, and the extra momentum shot them ahead of Briana. Determined to not only win, but to crush their little sister's record, Melody crouched down low.

The sled whizzed faster and faster, zipping past the bottom of the hill, and out onto fresh powder. As soon as Melody hit the fresh snow they could feel themselves slowing, but only gradually. Far too gradually, in fact. There was a broad oak tree coming up fast in Melody's path.

They tried swinging their around clockwise like a snowboarder. Unlike a snowboarder, Melody was not strapped into their sled. All they accomplished with their fancy maneuver was flipping the sled over. Melody and sled tumbled over each other in the snow. The sharp edge of the blue plastic came like a fist at Melody's face. They cried out when it cracked across their face and left their nose feeling swollen.

Adding insult to injury, Melody's tumble carried them onto the light snow that covered the oak tree's knobby roots. Everything was swirling around in a disorienting mess. Melody cried in pain, flopping themself off the root they'd come to a stop on.

Before they could compose themself, Jane was there. Melody grabbed for Jane, pulling her into a hug. They got a comforting hug back, albeit a brief one. Jane sat Melody up and examined their face, brushing it lightly with a handkerchief before swiping the cloth under their nose. It came back bright red.

"It looks like you have a little bit of a bloody nose." Jane said. "How do you feel?"

"It hurts, Dad!" Melody complained.

"I bet it does. Here, blow very gently." Jane replied, putting the handkerchief back under Melody's nose.

After giving a little blow through their nose, Melody felt a bit better. Leaning against Jane and getting gentle pats on the back was helping even more.

"Better, Didi?" Jane asked.

Briana was approaching slowly, a worried look on her face. Melody decided to be brave for their little sister. They nodded to Jane.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry for scaring everybody."

"That's alright, we're just glad you're not hurt." Jane said. "Come on Bumble Bri, Didi, we still have some time left."

"Why is everyone giving me nicknames today?" Melody asked, struggling to their feet with Jane's help.

"Because we love you." Briana said.

"Because sometimes you are too cute for a name with three syllables." Jane said.

"But you call Bri, Bumble Bri, and that's three syllables." Melody protested. "That doesn't make any sense."

"True, it doesn't." Jane said, unconcerned. "Pick up your sled, Didi."

"Okay Dad." Melody said.

Briana's eyes got huge, cueing Melody to their mistake. Their second mistake, they realized. They looked at Jane worriedly, but she was unflappable as always. Briana was bouncing on her toes, but she wasn't saying anything.

Melody grabbed their sled and hurried up the hill as fast as their diaper-waddle would allow. Luckily, everyone seemed to forget their slip of the tongue after a couple more sled rides. Safer sled rides, at Jane's fatherly insistence.

When Jane declared the outing over and buckled both kids into the back seat again, Melody braced themself for Briana to bring up what they'd called Jane. She didn't though, being way more focused on Jane's promise of hot cocoa on the ride home. Jane didn't say anything either, she just bought them cocoa and coffee for herself.

By the time they were home and being laboriously stripped of their snow gear, Melody was getting frustrated. If somebody could just say something already, then the horrible anticipation could end.

Finally, Melody decided that they'd have to be the one to say something. Briana was out of her snow gear first and had bolted upstairs to get into pajamas. Melody and Jane were alone in Melody's room. They had their hands on Jane's shoulders to steady themself as Jane pulled down their long underwear.

"Nobody said anything about uh – what I called you after I crashed." Melody said.

"You didn't seem like you wanted to talk about it." Jane said. "Is there something you need to say?"

"It's a big deal, isn't it?" Melody asked, pouting.

"That depends." Jane said, pulling the long underwear off Melody's foot and tossing it in the laundry bin. "If it was just a slip of the tongue, that's okay. If it is some something more, then it is a big deal."

"But how do you know if we don't talk about it?" Melody asked. Whined really. They were whining, but it was Jane's fault. She wasn't reacting at all how she was supposed to.

"Because I'm already committed to taking care of you." Jane said, pulling open the front of Melody's diaper to peek inside. "As long as you call me Dad, I will behave as your father. If I'm not your father, I will still take care of you."

Melody was upset. It wasn't supposed to be that simple. They felt hot behind their eyes and their nose felt like the sled had hit it again.

"But, that's not, you're not supposed to, that's..." Melody sputtered, unable to find the words to properly express their outrage. "Dad! You're doing it wrong!"

Jane chuckled. "That is family, Didi. We will be frustrating sometimes. We will not always be what you expect, but we will always love you."

Melody bawled. Jane swooped them onto her lap on the bed. It felt almost like being picked up. They clung to Jane with all their strength, desperate to be close. Jane's arms were warm and solid around them. Melody let themself soak in the steady comfort.

"I have told you already, I am not the one that will talk something to death. That is Veronica." Jane said fondly. "You are mine Kind. Good enough. Now you need a nap."

"I don't need a nap!" Melody whined.

"Doesn't matter, I'm putting you down for one." Jane said. She had a way of making her statements seem like irrefutable facts. It sucked the wind out of Melody's sails, but they still didn't like the idea of being put to bed.

"I don't want a nap." Melody said. "At least – not alone."

"Briana's crib is a little too small for two." Jane said. "If I set the playpen up in her room, would that be acceptable?"

"Yes." Melody said, their voice muffled by Jane's shoulder. "Thanks Dad."

"Gern geschehen." Jane said.

When Jane tucked Melody into the playpen with their overjoyed sister, they realized they were sore in muscles they didn't know they had. Despite her excitement, Briana was used to having a naptime and was already drifting off. It'd be boring to just lie in the playpen on their own, Melody reasoned. The smart thing to do would be to just nap a little.

Melody woke refreshed. Shortly after they got a lesson in their sister's hypocrisy. The little girl that had been so upset, when Suzie was at the door with a bag, was gallivanting off to spend the evening with Gary.

It was fine, of course. Melody wasn't super clingy like their little sister. Plus, it gave them time for a quiet evening with just Mom and Dad in the house. Being treated as a kid by both of them was blissful. For precious hours, Melody forgot about Rosa, Beatrix, and all the heavy feelings in their heart.

[kerry]

So cute!

Although I remain hopeful that Mel will get back with Rosa, I'm happy seeing her happy. And to that end: I don't care that she played the savior role at one point; I'm going to be so angry if you retcon Beatrix. She's evil. Period.

[Ubba]

This story is..... wow. I love it, i have been reading it all day. I have ugly cried many many times which I think I needed. I dont really get into any type of little headspace but reading this story is definitely getting me into a little headspace...... well not really little but definitely a positive mental headspace which is actually amazing. I think everyone needs a Veronica, Jane, Brianna an Melodie in their lives. 

 

I am loving all the non romantic love in this story, when ser Brianna put on her sword and started her quest to save her big sibling I sobbed loudly, it was so beautiful. Then when I ha calmed down and read how worried everyone was that she was missing, yup started sobbing again because their concern an lover for Brianna was just so amazing. 

 

I am not sure if you meant this but when Melodie was transitioning I noticed that Brianna referred to them as she/her and then later in the chapter Melodie referred to themselves as she/her. I hope this was on purpose and not a typo as I thought it was kinda cool showing the journey that people can go on around gender and that incorrect pronoun usage can happen even internally, although I am not experienced in the subject I assume it happens. 

 

God I want to write more praising this story but honestly there is so much good in this that I cant put my thoughts all together on this. But I have mental health issues. I am pretty depressed an have an anxiety disorder that is still being diagnosed. One of my triggers is doing chores but after I read the chapter about Melodie doing all the house work and cooking for Rosa I was able to do a ton of chores, not just able to I wanted to. I did so much chores that literally if I had of thought of doing that amount of chores yesterday before I read this I would have had a massive anxiety attack an ended up on the ground in the fetal position hyperventilating. Sincerely thank you for writing and sharing this I am going to be blabbering about this story to my therapist next week

 

Also mental health is a pain in the ass, we should be thought about this stuff in school, not the sciency bit but the managing stuff and being able to be a functional person. I would use that way more in my day to day live than I ever would use speaking Irish which I learned in school for what like 14 years, however long school is before college, or well for me geography or pretty much any subject except math an english I guess haha

[SolSombraYSoldados]

2 hours ago, kerry said:

So cute!

Although I remain hopeful that Mel will get back with Rosa, I'm happy seeing her happy. And to that end: I don't care that she played the savior role at one point; I'm going to be so angry if you retcon Beatrix. She's evil. Period.

If you're worried about Beatrix being retconned, consider how different Bea's telling of the story would be. Imagine Beatrix's reaction to someone threatening to take away a person who was devoted to her, and why she'd be angry about that.

 

1 hour ago, Ubba said:

This story is..... wow. I love it, i have been reading it all day. I have ugly cried many many times which I think I needed. I dont really get into any type of little headspace but reading this story is definitely getting me into a little headspace...... well not really little but definitely a positive mental headspace which is actually amazing. I think everyone needs a Veronica, Jane, Brianna an Melodie in their lives. 

I think everyone needs those people in their lives too! I'm so glad you're enjoying the story, I'm even glad you ugly cried.  I've ugly-cried myself, writing it. Reading your next paragraph, we share at least two cry-moments. ❤️ 

 

 

1 hour ago, Ubba said:

I am not sure if you meant this but when Melodie was transitioning I noticed that Brianna referred to them as she/her and then later in the chapter Melodie referred to themselves as she/her. I hope this was on purpose and not a typo as I thought it was kinda cool showing the journey that people can go on around gender and that incorrect pronoun usage can happen even internally, although I am not experienced in the subject I assume it happens. 

This actually WAS a typo, however, I may leave it in when I do a big edit. As a person who's pronouns are currently in flux, I can see how easy it is to refer to old pronouns for yourself, out of habit. On the other hand, I think the narration should always use the new pronouns once a decision has been made..

 

1 hour ago, Ubba said:

Also mental health is a pain in the ass

Preach. I hope you're doing well today and making non-linear, non-constant progress. That's all that's fair to expect of anyone. Good on you for having a therapist and getting all those chores done. You're awesome!

[LilRedAli]

4 hours ago, SolSombraYSoldados said:

Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and connecting with my favorite gay disaster.  

There are 40 chapters in total, ending with Briana's POV of Christmas Day.

Noooooo!!!! I mean it’s been a great story but noooooo so short……that mean i read them all than. I needs more!! Lol 

[smokie 03]

Oh no, I am all caught up.  I want to keep reading it.

????

[SolSombraYSoldados]

I have more great stories that are publishing every week! ❤️

Not sure which one will be the next to make it here, but if you want more right now, you can always find it on my archive or on Patreon, links below!

[YourFNF]

On 9/26/2022 at 2:34 PM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

"When I fell in love with Beatrix I told her." Melody said. "She – she turned cold, like a stone. Said she wasn't my mom anymore. I've never spoken to her since. I mean, I sent a lot of texts and letters and stuff before I gave up, but she never answered."

And there it is... Everything makes so much sense now....

On 9/26/2022 at 2:34 PM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

That little glow was surrounded by dark and scary stuff. Like a bonfire or a site of grace was in a Fromsoft game. It was a lot better than not having one though. It made the thought of going to school bearable. For once the long, exhausting day would be a blessing. Melody's long day didn't allow time for dwelling on one's thoughts.

Gods if that isn't how it feels being with loved ones in this fucked up timeline... What coming home feels like. A moment of rest, of recovery before battle...

[YourFNF]

On 9/26/2022 at 2:34 PM, SolSombraYSoldados said:

Oh, he is not friendly like Saint Nicholas." Jane said. "He doesn't talk to parents. The Krampus can smell if a child is bad or not. Even if they have only done bad things that their parents didn't see, he is not fooled."

Okay I get German and cultural diffrences but I'm worried this might fuck with Melody's clear religious trauma?

[SolSombraYSoldados]

44 minutes ago, YourFNF said:

Okay I get German and cultural diffrences but I'm worried this might fuck with Melody's clear religious trauma?

It could mess with them, I suppose. Though it's unclear if Jane knows about Melody's religious trauma so soon after they told Veronica in confidence. 

Also, the first place Melody's brain went on hearing Krampus was The Binding of Isaac, and if that game doesn't give them religious trauma, German Christmas demons probably won't.

Edited September 29, 2022 by SolSombraYSoldados
pronouns