Seeking Advice

[Arceus]

Hi everyone, 

I recently learned that I am Bi. I am the only one who knows except for a couple friends. I guess idk do I bother telling my parents or not ? 
 

i look at it as if I found a girl I was really into then I wouldn’t need to let them know. In truth I have been leaning more towards dating  guys cuz I find them easier to talk to.  Do I bother to tell my parents now? Or wait until I find the  right guy? 
 

idk any advice is helpful 

[Rachael-Little]

11 hours ago, Arceus said:

Hi everyone, 

I recently learned that I am Bi. I am the only one who knows except for a couple friends. I guess idk do I bother telling my parents or not ? 
 

i look at it as if I found a girl I was really into then I wouldn’t need to let them know. In truth I have been leaning more towards dating  guys cuz I find them easier to talk to.  Do I bother to tell my parents now? Or wait until I find the  right guy? 
 

idk any advice is helpful 

Curious question how do you know for sure, I mean just because guys might be easier to talk to doesn’t mean anything .

 I mean as a trans person I much prefer women because I relate to them better, I had two encounters with a guy but really just wasn’t me.

 

[Diaperdude720]

I wouldn’t tell them… it sounds like you’re exploring and figuring things out. It’s totally normal. Just let things happen as you go. When it feels right, tell them if you feel the need. Parents tend to know anyway, or at least have an intuition. Good luck!

[Arceus]

20 hours ago, Rachael-Little said:

Curious question how do you know for sure, I mean just because guys might be easier to talk to doesn’t mean anything .

 I mean as a trans person I much prefer women because I relate to them better, I had two encounters with a guy but really just wasn’t me.

 

Cuz I have dated and been with a couple guys and gotten it up lol ? 

[Young1]

Now days parents can be really accepting. They just wants whats best for you and for you to be happy. 

[Nappy-granddad]

yes your right Young 1

 

[Arceus]

Thanks for the advice everyone!!

[Wet Knight]

Don't volunteer anything.  When you need to say something is soon enough.

[AbabeBill]

I agree, don’t bring it up, till it needs to be. If you get together with family at some point, and you partner up with someone who you believe is special to you, then that might be the time to explain. And you can always be somewhat vague, as to you situation. I’m mean, you can say you are unsure, and exploring possibilities. I don’t think that would really be lying, either. 

[~Brian~]

On 6/19/2022 at 11:46 PM, Arceus said:

Hi everyone, 

I recently learned that I am Bi. I am the only one who knows except for a couple friends. I guess idk do I bother telling my parents or not ? 
 

i look at it as if I found a girl I was really into then I wouldn’t need to let them know. In truth I have been leaning more towards dating  guys cuz I find them easier to talk to.  Do I bother to tell my parents now? Or wait until I find the  right guy? 
 

idk any advice is helpful 

@Arceus

I also concur: I would not worry about bringing up this until it is necessary to bring it up. Really, it doesn't matter to anyone else until you get serious with someone. I would err on the side of caution, because telling your parents something like this may be something that they are not either going to accept, or they may end up questioning you, and you may not be able to answer their questions. For this reason, I would keep this between you and those that you trust. If and when the time comes, such as if you decide that you want to go out with a young man, and you know that this is what you want, then I may think that it would be appropriate to bring it up to your parents: until then, I wouldn't worry about it, because you would make sure that the one that you want to go out with is truly the one you wish to go out with.

I don't know if what I am saying makes sense to you, but there is no reason to worry about this until the time is right: perhaps you will find that there is a young lady that you're interested in, or as you said you are a boy so you could go either way: I'm sure that once you decide, it will be easier to be able to disclose something like this, but until that time I wouldn't worry about disclosing it to someone who does not need to know.

I wish you all the best:   I know that when you find someone that you are attracted to, sometimes it is hard: however, in time you will know when you find the right person: and then you will know when it is time to disclose and to whom you want to disclose.

Good Luck!

Brian

[ken2988]

If you get serious enough that you want them to come to your parents house, then it is time to bring it up!

[Snugglebear_69]

I have to respectfully disagree with the majority. Sexual orientation is part of who a person is and it goes beyond dating and sex. If you are bisexual then that is who you are whether you are dating a man, a woman or nobody. 

Waiting until you are daring someone reduces this element of who you are to a small part of what it is. What if you just want to go to a gay club to dance? If you're hiding this part of yourself you may spend more time stressing about who may see you vs having fun.

Heterosexual people are not conditioned to live in fear and ask, "should I wait to tell people I'm heterosexual until I'm dating someone?". Hiding this part of who you are is harmful and sends a message it is something that should be hidden until "necessary" so as to not make people uncomfortable.

If you are bisexual then you're bisexual, don't let others condition, pressure or persuade you to hide who you are.

[ken2988]

I rarely introduce my family to those I date, and it has nothing to do with if they are male/female or gay/straight, it has more to do with not building a connection between the person you are dating with your family unless you have a feeling that it is becoming a long term relationship, not just someone you are casually dating!

[~Brian~]

6 hours ago, ken2988 said:

I rarely introduce my family to those I date, and it has nothing to do with if they are male/female or gay/straight, it has more to do with not building a connection between the person you are dating with your family unless you have a feeling that it is becoming a long term relationship, not just someone you are casually dating!

@ken2988

I believe that is what I was trying to say during my Last Post. Whether someone is gay straight or whatever orientation they are, I don't think it would bother me one way or the other to go out with someone like this, because I have friends that identified differently, and it is not specifically aimed at sex.  Sexual orientation is part of who you are, but if you were going out with somebody I don't think that makes a difference so long as you are enjoying yourselves and having a good time. If indeed you are planning on going steady with somebody or contemplating a long term relationship, there may be a time when you may want to bring this to someone's attention, but that is up to the individuals involved in a relationship. As long as people are happy, and they like each other, they can trust one another, and they have a bond, that is the start of a good relationship. How it builds from there depends on the individuals involved in the relationship.

At some point however, you may have to say something, but that would be something that would be done when you are dealing with a long term relationship.  to me, I look at the person for what they are and who they are, what they are like inside and how they treat me as an individual. If you are really love someone and care for someone, they say that love will find a way, and I vary strongly believe in this: love usually finds a way to surmount difficult situations, and to me this is no different, because if you love someone, you will know it.

The question is: does it really matter whether somebody is of a different sexual orientation as long as you are enjoying having fun with this individual, or are in a relationship with this individual?  Throughout my life I have dated many individuals, but several times, my dating relationships have not lasted, so in time, you kind of get used to the fact that you don't bring someone to meet your family until you know that the actual relationship will hopefully last longer then just a few dates. Once this happens, then you would probably want to bring them home to meet your parents and other family members. However, this is no guarantee that any relationship will last, so even if you have a long term relationship with an individual regardless of sexual orientation or gender, they sometimes can break down as any relationship can, so you may not want to introduce anyone to your parents right away, but if you are having fun and enjoying yourself, I say have a blast and enjoy yourself, because in my mind this is a way that you can determine whether you may be compatible with an individual if you spend time with them and get to know them better. Other things can come later, but you would probably get an idea of how a person is what a person is like by spending time with them, just like any dating relationship.

Brian