Falling Down(I will pick you up)

[YourFNF]

So making a rare reappearance with a short form work it took me months to finish. ???‍♀️

I kind of wanted to explore the idea of "what if Maturosis or some kind of regression syndrome was real" and expand of some of the groundwork in "Camp Saphonis"

This of course like everything else is basically working out my shit in writing regarding my experiences as a queer trans woman dealing with mental health and my obvious left politics. But enough author rambling your here for the smut-warming lesbians right? ??

 

 

“Motherfucker!” The pained and startled shout reverberated and echoed throughout the parking garage. Holly Holebrook 32 year old actuary and risk specialist sat in her modified Paslöm and screamed. Drumming her fists on the wheel as her legs flailed uselessly not even halfway to the floor. At 152cm it’s possible the coffee soaking her top and scalding her lap rounded her 43.5 kilos up to 44. Given the shakes/muscle weakness, the fatigue, random mood swings and fits of anger…. Most embarrassingly of all the spotting in her underwear. She was wearing pads daily and didn’t want to think about what that meant. She had seen the maternal sympathetic look her OB had given her when the UTI test came back negative. The Little new the odds all two well cause they did contracting for NHS and Social; 31.72% for Small Folk, 2.33% for baselines, and .026% for Nephelim or “Bigs” colloquially. She was desperately trying not to think about those numbers as she scrambled for her gym bag and quickly tossed her blazer and kicked off her heels. Her coffee stained once pink blouse came next as she a pulled t-shirt over her bra. The nerve wracking 20s seconds as she slid her skirt down head swiveling as she looked around. All while shuffling into a pair of sweats. Completely forgetting to even take her hose off.

 

Making her way through the echoing and cavernous parking garage with her bag she hopped on the golf cart reserved as a parking shuttle. Her mind completely lost as the trees and grass and towering glass walls whipped past. Bright glare shining off the windows in the early summer morning sun, the smell of fresh cut grass with the faint egg tang of reclaimed water from the sprinklers not even registering.

 

When she got in the front door Keo the usual front desk guard waved. “Hey Holly your looking mighty comfy, is it Friday and I didn’t get the memo?” Keo chuckles, snorting at their own joke. Holly freezes at the gate as it is buzzed open for her trying to think of an excuse. “Worst pothole ever, like they were excavating utilities or something and forgot to put up barricades. Damn near sent me into the roof and coffee everywhere…”

Keo sucks air and whistles in sympathy. “Whelp with a start like that I’m sure the day can’t get any worse Miss Holly.”

“Fuck I hope your right Keo”

Keo couldn’t have been more wrong…..

 

She got to her office and sat down. Trying to loose herself in work, and avoid the other test results still waiting for her. She managed to succeed for about 2 hours…. Then her entire world came crashing down. She felt a hot wetness all around her and heard a soft pattering on the fake wood floors. Looking down she could see a puddle spreading as she stared in shock. The thick maxi-pad was a sodden heavy weight in her panties that did nothing to contain the small lake around her and all she could do was stare at the wall as she rapidly felt it cooling around her. The acrid scent of ammonia and panic sweats filling the air. That’s when her phone dinged. Pulling up the message she saw it was from her clinic and logging in she got the news she was dreading. Positive for “the “Neuroplastic Recursive Regression Syndrome” DNA marker. She was in Maturosis. She could feel herself getting hotter and outright flushed as the sweats intensified. This was it, her career, her life, everything she had worked and struggled for…. Three years undergrad and a Masters in Stats…. All pissed away right into her pants. That was way funnier than it should have been and she couldn’t help herself from starting to laugh quietly; strange and stuttering.

 

Her entire body was mass of itching pins and needles on top of being so hot. Even without the pee puddle her crotch would be a complete swamp and the pits of her t-shirt were soaked through. Her family was going to hate her for humiliating them, just another stereotypical pants shitting Little spending the rest of her days in a crib chewing blocks… Didn’t matter if that was less than 5% of the thirty that even developed Mautrosis that’s all she would be to people. She chucked the phone on the floor with a high pitched choking scream of anger and despair. “Fuuuuuckkk…. Mish’ no… Please gods… Please… Please.. Please Mish’ don’t let this be real. I’ll do anything...” Scratching at her arms and leaving red welts up and down them; and just when this absolute shit fest of a day couldn’t get any worse in walked Molly…… Molly Andrews. The tall cute butch Big with a short side fade of red hair. The woman she had a crush on since she had started here two years ago. The woman she admire and respected so much as both a colleague and a person. The woman she had finally worked up the nerve to ask out 2 weeks ago and been on as many dates with. The woman she had made love to in an explosion of pent up feelings on date number one. Walked in on her like this.

 

“Holly what the hells? What’s wrong? Are you hurt!? Your arms!? What!?” Holy could only point at her phone as choking heaving sobs wracked her body. Tears and snot running down her face. Running over, scooping up the phone, and looking at the screen was all the young woman needed to know instantly what was going on. “Oh Holly…” It comes out as a faint whisper.

“I guess it’s over then? Us? Nobody wants to be with pants pissing Little…”

“Holly Fucking Holebrook…” Her voice starts sharp and cross then drops low and quite’ filled with love and compassion. “I’ve loved you sense the day I met you and finally got the courage to say it after two gods damned years! You think this is going to scare me off!?” As if to make her point she scoops the smaller girl up into her arms. Not carrying the slightest about getting pee on her smart pantsuit. “Let’s get you cleaned up okay pumpkin?”

“Do I have a choice?” Holly let’s out a bitter exhausted sigh.

“Of course you do hon, I just figured you would prefer your girlfriend helping rather than some strange medics for example…”

“Guuhhhguhhh Girl Friend?” Holly stammers and splutters as her brain already overloaded pops multiple breakers in series of loud bangs and kachunks.

“That’s what you call the woman your dating silly goose!” Molly sets her love down on the table and boops her nose smiling with warm affection as Holly looks around in confusion.

 

She hadn’t even realized they had moved into the changing stall in the bathroom, door locked behind them for privacy. The memory foam pad is soft and squishy as is the disposable liner. It’s even heated and honestly way to damn comfortable. So she just lays there exhausted and overwhelmed as her girlfriend pulls her sodden sweats off along with her shoes and puts them in one of the complimentary plastic laundry bags. A pair of medics shears makes quick work of her ruined hose and underwear. As she is laying there spaced out waiting for Molly to make a selection from the vending machine she starts to pee a little again. Right as Molly turns around. She whimpers in humiliation knowing her girlfriend has a perfect detailed view. Right down to the faintly yellow thin stream arching from between her lips and down onto the quilted padding which is doing it’s job and soaking it up perfectly. Instead of the insults and degradation her anxious brain expects she only gets a reassuring hand squeeze and a warm wipe cleaning her nethers with a deft tender touch. All while Molly starts to hum gently as she works.

 

A soft pillowy diaper in pastel pink that matches her gray gym t-shirt is slid under her before she gets a dusting of powder. Strong but gentle familiar hands, massive compared to hers, working it in expertly. The front is pulled up and the tapes done perfect and snug. The last thing she remembers before blacking out from exhaustion is being held by the woman she loves, a faint lullaby in her ears.

 

 

Five Months Later:

 

The world didn’t end that day thankfully. I’m still working at my same job even if there have been some changes. Speaking of which…..

 

Molly walks into the office and slides a hand up her loves skirt squeezing the front of her diaper. “Misses Andrews-Holebrook! You are just soaked!” Holly squeaks and blushes. She’s used to this after quickly loosing most of her continence in the first month sense her Maturosis hit but somehow her wife knows just how to take something that has become mundane and make her squirm and blush. Not that she’s complaining just don’t tell Holly that…

“I guess I do need a change… Still kind of annoyed I can’t tell…”

“I know hon, I know. Loosing control like this is scary but I’m here for you 100% of the way. Come on let’s get you the bathroom you usually always need to poop right before we clock….” Holly feels her insides cramp and a loud wet fart rip out of her as she helplessly fills her diaper… “Out.”

“Shit…. Too late…”

“Yes love that’s what happens when you realize too late, it goes right in your diapers. Which is okay because that’s what they are there for.” Boops her wife's nose as she picks her up and does the familiar ritual of carrying her to the changing stall.

Holly for her part groans and laughs hiding in her wife's shoulder.

 

A big in a wheel chair rolls out of the stall “Hey Dennis!”! Holly can’t make eye contact or say anything by contrast earning an empathetic look from Dennis.

“Getting worse hon?”

Holly can only nod fighting back tears.

“It’s okay, even with stem cell injections my lower half hasn’t worked right sense my 30s.. It happens. You’ve got Molly and you’ll get through this together…”

“Thank you Dennis that means a lot…” sniffs as her voice cracks “It’s especially hard cause… Everything's more intense now… But thank you.” Holly smiles weakly. “It’s just really hard cause of how I know people look at me now. When Molly has to take me to get cleaned up or help me eat, or I loose control or have an outburst..”

“Of course hon; honestly those fuckers who say your better off chewing on blocks as a dancing circus exhibit or as someone’s play toy are the same ones that say I’m a drain on the NHS… And to that I can only say, fuck the bastards. You are a wonderful, kind and bright girl. Keep the faith and the fight. You’ll get through this.”

“Once again thank you so much…” The tears start freely “Can I have a hug?”

“Of course love.”

It’s awkward with Molly holding her but comforting as Dennis wrap her in a grandfatherly embrace. Giving one last nod and smiles as he roles out with a faint electric whir.

 

Once in the stall that is mostly sound proofed. Holly screams in frustration. “I hate myself.” Molly doesn’t try to shut her down but focuses in on the feeling, helping her wife work through to the source. “Because?”

“I’m starting to like it… The way my diapers feel, both clean and… wet… and messy… I’m sitting in my own shit and all I can think about is how good it feels…”

“Then you should hate me….”

“Molly what the fuck!? I could never….” Holly is cut off by a shush from Molly

“Cause I love exactly all of you even the messy difficult bits, and honestly… I’m relieved… That your accepting this…. I don’t want you to be miserable and suffer. Your brain is going to do what it’s going to do to protect itself. But has it stopped our lives?”

“No?”

“Yeah your different holls…. You see and feel the world differently…. And honestly that’s what I love about you… Okay..”

“Okay.” Holly stares up at her wife wide eyed, it’s kinda just hitting her that someone would want to be with a girl like her.

“You know how I’m wired right? The pheromonal instincts? Whelp hey that just means we mesh… I’m right here and I’m not letting go..” Molly locks her wife in massive hug just holding her as she sits on the table. Holly isn’t sure if what was said even makes sense or if it was just a raw outpouring of feelings. A jumble of random words as two people cling to each other. There’s only one thing she knows for certain. She may have fallen but thankfully there was someone to help her back up…..

 

End

 

 

[BabySofia]

This was cute, I really enjoyed it!

[Guilend]

I liked it.  I always wondered what if it was real and Littles just don’t believe it. Good to see something from you. I’ve missed your writings. 

[YourFNF]

6 hours ago, BabySofia said:

This was cute, I really enjoyed it!

Thanks that means a lot coming from you Sofia! ☺️? Was worried I'd fumbled the ending

6 hours ago, Guilend said:

I liked it.  I always wondered what if it was real and Littles just don’t believe it. Good to see something from you. I’ve missed your writings. 

Thanks Guilium.... Thankfully for Holly the "Saphonis Parallel" is one of the more humane and socially progressive worlds inhabited by human or near equivalents. I think Maturosis as a concept drew me in because of my own personal experiences. And of course any time you throw a weird ass scifi dystopia at me I want to explore the class and political implications lol.... ?‍♀️?

[ImprobableLemon]

This was a really nice and wholesome read. You did good work on it.

The overall premise is also interesting and unique.

 

 

[Diaperdimensionfan]

Loved the story!