Random musings about unpotty training

[Enthusi]

The other day someone posted something on a different social media group asking wanting to know more about unpotty training and if anyone has any stories to share.    I meant to write a paragraph or so, but I ended writing A LOT more than that.    Anyways I thought this group in particular might be interested in my response.    I copied and pasted my response (unedited).   I’m interested to hear folks comments on my write up and especially their own perspectives and stories:  

Cheers!  
 

(My original response starts below) 

Boy and how! 

I’ve successfully regressed my bladder control back to that of a pre-potty trained toddler, and I’m going to need to wear a diaper for the rest of my life, which was my goal. I could talk for hours upon hours on the topic.  In fact it’s almost overwhelming for me to even know where to begin.  That said if you have any particular questions hit me up. 

I can give you some general perspective.  Again, keep in mind that I’m barely scratching the surface.  

-    Keep in mind that unpotty is extremely difficult to pull off.  The human body is remarkably adept at maintaining control. Most adults can go decades without losing more than a few drops of urine here or there. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. 
-    Be careful what you wish for. It’s a cliche but it’s true.  The thing with incontinence is that it NEVER stops.  It doesn’t matter if you’re on vacation, or at a fancy art gala or at the doctor’s, or you’re broke.  Worst of all is diaper rash. It’s not fun wearing a diaper to an amusement park on a humid day and your skin is chaffed up and raw. Even then you still have to wear your diaper.   
-    You always have to have an extra diaper or two with you. Always. 
-    That said, the people who are successful find these hassles to be fun challenges to overcome. I’ve successfully navigated pretty much every inconvenience that has been thrown my way and am proud of this. 
-    There’s a difference between being “diaper trained” and incontinent/diaper dependent.  The former implies that your bladder control is worse when you’re wearing a diaper, and better when you’re not.  For most ABDLs interested in untraining being diaper trained is the ideal state.  You can have your cake and eat it too.  However for me being diaper trained is still a form of bladder control and I’ve gone out of my way to avoid it.  For example, I used to have a strict rule that I’m not allowed to hold my bladder when I’m not wearing a diaper.  Though these day it doesn’t really matter because my bladder muscles are so weak. 
-    You don’t have to commit to full untraining and loss of control on day 1.  In fact I would encourage you to test the waters so to speak by going 24/7 for a while to see if you can deal with the hassles. 
-    I’ve helped untrain quite a few people who insist they are serious. One of my first questions / assignments is to have people throw out their underwear.  If someone isn’t ready to commit to that step, they probably aren’t ready to commit to untraining. (One notable exception is some people like to wear underwear over their diaper for one reason or another) 
-    Likewise I find that people who want to untrain so they don’t feel guilty about wearing diapers to be less successful than those who truly enjoy having no control. 
-    Despite your best attempts, leaks WILL happen.  
-    Keep in mind that if you are successful in unpotty training, at some point you’ll want incontinence on your medical record.  For me I didn’t discuss until last year after being 24/7 for 5 years. It was extremely awkward at first. I was referred to a urologist and everything. Though I’ve had a few appointments where I had to disrobe, exposing my diaper and I’m more or less used to it by now. Hint: Nobody really cares.  
-    It’s not the crinkles you have to worry about. It’s smelling like pee that will get you. Drinking plenty of water and using plastic backed diapers and keeping body spray in your diaper bag help with this. 
-    Speaking of hygiene, most people who are untrained or wear frequently shave their diaper area.  It’s not essential but it helps tremendously with cleanup and feeling fresh.  Some people use hair removal products. I personally prefer a manual razor. It took a few months for my skin to get used to it, but it’s totally worth it IMO. 
-    If you do plan to mess a lot then teach yourself how to change a messy diaper standing up.  There are techniques if you search on here and other sites. 
-    You don’t have to tell everybody everything,  but your significant other should know so they know as it will undoubtedly affect them. 
-    Consider this:  Unintentionally peeing yourself during a diaper change is the ultimate triumph and failure when it comes to untraining.  I will never forget the first time it happened to me. 
-    Daily Diapers Incontinent Desires forum is a great place to start and people are more than happy to share their experience and progress and stories.  There are also private chat groups such as Telegram and if you ask around you can probably get an invite link. 

You had asked about stories. Again I have so many it’s hard to come up with one.   However I suspect you’re wanting to know what it *feels* like to be incontinent / untrained.  To be honest it’s NOTHING like I imagined it would be.  I thought it would be like a catheter draining, with urine just pouring out with limited sensation of what’s going on and no ability to stop the pee. While I do dribble a fair amount, its more of a secondary form of incontinence for me.  Instead it’s more like a severe form of urge incontinence. I will have no sensation of having to go, then BAM! I will suddenly feel an intense urge to pee that is too strong for my muscles to manage. It feels like my sphincter muscle is an umbrella facing off against a tsunami.  I can still control the bladder muscle just fine, but it’s weak and gives up easily. That said, most of the time I reflexively wet when I feel any sort bladder pressure, and because my bladder muscles are so weak, I pee small amounts frequently throughout the day. So much so that I don’t always pay attention to what my bladder is doing, nor have a firm grasp on how wet I am or if I wet because I wasn’t paying attention.  Sometimes when I’m in the zone I’ll check my diaper and discover my diaper’s wetness indicators has changed colors.  Those moments are precious to me.  I’m a pro at ignoring the sensation of bladder fullness. I can’t really make myself pee on command, and besides sooner or later the muscles will give out and I’ll spontaneously start peeing.  To put it another way, the “I gotta pee sensation” is meaninglessness noise to me, so why pay attention to it?  I can just as easily fall asleep with a full bladder as an empty bladder.  Either way my diaper will be wet in a short order of time.   

TL; DR - All in all I LOVE being permanently incontinent and diaper dependent.  Which is good because if I hated it, it would be miserable. 

Whew! That’s a lot!

[diapereddaddy1922]

Hell yes!

[~Brian~]

5 hours ago, diapereddaddy1922 said:

Hell yes!

@diapereddaddy1922

I would say this was right on the mark – not just a hell yes a double hell yes! ?

@Enthusi

Nice find! And thank you for what you have added to it! These perspectives are very useful for those that are looking for information regarding the  “untraining process”.   Based on my reading it sounds like you hit everything on the mark, and probably said everything that needs to be said here. Especially the piece about what “being incontinent“ is like. People have to understand that incontinence is not something that happens overnight, and that you don’t just put on a diaper and your body just decides to use it. It takes a lot of training from your head down to your toes To be able to train yourself to release when you feel the need. People that are severely incontinent sometimes cannot “feel” anything when they release, simply because their “plumbing is broken, as @~ashley~says”.  Most of it is lack of control, or total loss of it. If you never had it in the first place, then it is more common that your body will just release as it needs to.

There are people  who always say that they “want to be incontinent” I always “warn them” of the fact that they don’t want to Do anything harmful to their bodies. This means that if you wish to be incontinent, the way that you do that is to train your body in reverse to be incontinent, rather than trying to do medical procedures that make you that way. Most doctors won’t even attempt it, and sometimes this can be harmful to you, but The best way to become “incontinent“ if you are fully potty trained as to “undo it“. You let this happen by training yourself and your brain and your body to “allow yourself to release in a diaper“ this isn’t something that you learn overnight, and you have to condition yourself to allow it to happen. Remember as you learned potty training, you learned how to stay dry, and your muscles that control your bladder are conditioned to not allow you to wet or mess yourself, so you have to go in reverse. Whatever is done, be smart and don’t hurt yourself trying to become incontinent, or it could be something that would hurt you forever. 
 

The best thing I can say is: if you want to be incontinent, you have to understand what that means: once you untrained yourself, that means diapers 24 seven 365 days a year. It means that you will be using diapers for everything, so you will have to be prepared to deal with anything that happens. Incontinence may sound like a good thing to many people, and if that’s what they want, that’s OK, but I would do it in a way that is not going to hurt you. Wearing diapers is not going to do this, and it is a lot Undo what you’ve learned if you keep doing it every day. After a while, you will be untrained because your body will be conditioned to feel it, and release it. Some incontinent individuals  can’t feel it Until it’s too late and they’ve already released. If that is what you’re looking for, then all you need to do is to make a decision that you want to wear diapers, and then start using them 24 hours a day seven days a week 365 days a year. However, with your decision comes the consequence of having to deal with the results.  @Enthusi’s post is pretty good, and tells it like it is. If you want it, here it is, come and get it but be prepared for your consequence! ?

???

Brian

Edited March 19, 2022 by ~Brian~

[Kawaharu]

It's cool to find perspective on being incontinent. Many people who desire to be incontinent should really think hard about what they want to do or as they say, did you read the fine print on what it means to be incontinent and diaper dependent. Many of use like @~Brian~ are Incontinent due to medical conditions and we don't have a choice in being diapered. People think it's easy to be incontinent but many people don't see dark side of being incontinent. Being kept in diapers, I don't get to have nice places to change out my soiled diapers and often times, you get use to having people think your weird for wearing diapers unless you have a legit medical condition and then people are understanding.

Myself, being incontinent due to a combination of medical conditions and age, I know I am kept in diapers 24/7/365 a year. Their's no day off for me from wearing diapers. I have to wear diapers no matter where I am or what I am doing. Being an adult baby, lets me deal with being incontinent and diaper dependent. Many times their's the good side and bad side to being diapered. but overall, being an adult baby and incontinent lets me deal with the world in my own way and deal with the limitations i have on me.

I do understand some want to be incontinent and want to be diaper dependent but understand this, think long and hard what your signing yourself to. I do know some want to be diapered for many reasons but you have to look to incontinent folks like myself and @~Brian~ to see and understand what being incontinent really means. You may think it's nice, cool, hip or trendy to be incontinent but the long term may not be so much fun. On top of that, Adult diapers are not cheap these days and with Inflation these days, it doesn't work in your favor at all. If you do want to be incontinent and diaper dependent, think about what your signing yourself to and what kind of work it's going to take. Many of us that are incontinent due to medical issues, know what it takes and what the cost of being incontinent means.

[~Brian~]

4 hours ago, Kawaharu said:

Adult diapers are not cheap these days and with Inflation these days, it doesn't work in your favor at all. If you do want to be incontinent and diaper dependent, think about what your signing yourself to and what kind of work it's going to take. Many of us that are incontinent due to medical issues, know what it takes and what the cost of being incontinent means.

@Kawaharu

No, adult diapers aren’t cheap these days either, but the quality of these things seems to be getting cheaper while the availability of the diapers themselves gets easier, but the quality is a zero on a scale of one to 10 because you can’t use them without worrying that you will end up leaking all over the place. When I first started wearing diapers like that I felt like telling the Medicaid people and I did say “I might as well take my diaper off and peed all over the floor” because that’s basically what I did. Companies that make these things don’t realize that they make them cheaply, and the reason why they can make them cheaply is because Medicare and other insurances don’t care about making sure you get quality materials. If a company would actually make diapers halfway decently, and offer them at a competitive price, then you wouldn’t have as much problem – but we all know that that is not the way it works.

everything seems to be going up: in Vermont the last time I checked last week gas was $4.35 a gallon. I can only guess what my diapers cost per year, but I know they cost $217 every time I order. Because I have taken additional steps to make sure that taking care of my incontinence is easier, it cost me a little more to be able to do this, and luckily I have the ability of my agency to be able to cover these incidentals that I need if I am to be. Able to live life to the fullest.

you’ve always probably realized that the better something is, the more popular it is, or the better it is built, the more people are interested in it. You don’t want to make the cheapest diapers possible, and call them “diapers“ when you know there are people out here who have severe incontinence that would not be able to use your product because they are basically “white bounty paper towels“ that you wear around your waist. No one Would wear a bounty paper towel around their loins, because we all know that this is not the function of a paper towel. So why do we insist that people use that type of product when it comes to incontinence? The better the product is, the easier it is to take care of it, and you use less product trying to deal with your issue.

I also understand that there are people that like the cloth  backed diapers, but when you are severely incontinent, these things don’t mean squat, and don’t have the absorbency or the ability to hold back what you were able to release. If I were to put on one of these cloth things, and use it to its fullest extent, it would be a mess all over the floor for about 20 feet in all directions – these companies know exactly what the hell they’re doing, but they don’t realize that by making it harder to get the right type of product, it means that the product itself could go even higher and higher.

@Kawaharu is right: gas prices are going up, and everything else is going up with it: the war in Russia Ukraine is causing trouble, and not only that but even the diapers that we both use – the mega maxs Are manufactured in China, and sold by NORTHSHORE themselves. We have to be careful because if we are not then it will cost us a lot more in the long run.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: NORTHSHORE has hit the All out of the park with their Maga maxes, and they know how to make a real “diaper“ if you need good solid protection, these are the diapers to use.

It is my hope that the plastic backed Diaper does not go by the wayside because of the fact that everybody wants everyone to change every two hours: there are reasons why a plastic backed diapers exist, and I would say that a cloth bag product would be something that would be used for acute incontinence while a plastic backed one Would be the one that is used for moderate to severe.  People that are incontinent should not have to choose between good diapers and something else - Hope that someday the insurance companies will understand that, and maybe if they had to use some of the garbage product they authorized, they would understand why I am adamantly against getting rid of all plastic backed diapers.

She also makes good points about people wanting to be incontinent. Before anyone makes that choice they have to be fully aware of what that entails, and what the consequences of that decision are. People who live with it every day have to go with diapers, change themselves frequently, keep themselves clean, carry all of their supplies, and there are certain things that they cannot do without proper protection. I don’t have a choice either, and I’m kind of glad that in a way that my diapers are there to help me in the event that I don’t make it, or for some reason cannot get up fast enough, or maybe I just can’t get up at all some days. Incontinence is not all it’s cracked up to be, but there is one advantage: if you are already incontinent, Do you have to wear diapers anyway, so the best way to handle it it’s just the way she has:  go the route of being an AB- in my case I go the route of being a DL- but in the end we are still in Continental diaper users and diaper wearers.  I’m glad I made the decision I made in 2019, and I don’t regret it for one minute: I don’t know how many times having a diaper on has saved me from a lot of crazy stuff happening, but I would not trade it for one minute.

Brian

 

[DiapergirlWB]

It takes so much time and work to truly make yourself truly and irreversibly incontinent through training that you will know what you are getting into.  If it were a pill you popped and bam you are stuck in diapers for the rest of your life all the doom and gloom would be warranted.

[Kawaharu]

19 hours ago, ~Brian~ said:

She also makes good points about people wanting to be incontinent. Before anyone makes that choice they have to be fully aware of what that entails, and what the consequences of that decision are. People who live with it every day have to go with diapers, change themselves frequently, keep themselves clean, carry all of their supplies, and there are certain things that they cannot do without proper protection. I don’t have a choice either, and I’m kind of glad that in a way that my diapers are there to help me in the event that I don’t make it, or for some reason cannot get up fast enough, or maybe I just can’t get up at all some days. Incontinence is not all it’s cracked up to be, but there is one advantage: if you are already incontinent, Do you have to wear diapers anyway, so the best way to handle it it’s just the way she has:  go the route of being an AB- in my case I go the route of being a DL- but in the end we are still in Continental diaper users and diaper wearers.  I’m glad I made the decision I made in 2019, and I don’t regret it for one minute: I don’t know how many times having a diaper on has saved me from a lot of crazy stuff happening, but I would not trade it for one minute.

I make a point where bring incontinent isn't easy or glamorous as it sounds. People who think being incontinent is great, should think long and hard about what they are getting into and reading the very fine print. Being kept in diapers 24/7/365 days a year including those hot summer months as well. Many think it's easy being diapered but don't see the work it takes to manage incontinence. Having diaper bag wherever you go is one. The other is not having a CLEAN or safe place to change your diapers and being forced to diaper change in a bathroom that's not beg enough or accommodating for you. Having to constantly deal with diaper rashes, diaper blow outs and frequent diaper changes. On top of that being incontinent, you don't get to hold your bowl and bladders anymore and they let go when they feel like it. Even being diapered, You always have to plan how your gona do a diaper change if you leak or poop in your diaper in public. On top of that being incontinent, I often times get diaper checked and even diaper checked at my doctors appointments.

Some of use like me and @~Brian~ are Incontinent and have it listed on our medical records where we are diapered permanently. For me, being an adult baby, is how I deal with being incontinent and being kept in diapers permanently. It's how I deal with being kept in diapers and not being able to potty like a grown up, big kid or adult anymore. Even being an adult baby, it lets me deal with the adult world being kept in diapers 24/7. It lets me be an adult baby and being an adult in my own way.