So, I guess I'm going to court.

[kasarberang]

My sister called me today and told me that she got a restraining order against my stepdad. And apparently there's an official court case later to make it permanent. My mom and step dad are threatening my other sister to not paint my stepdad in a "bad light" and are fully intending to lie throughout the whole thing.

 

I will be going to court to testify against my mom and stepdad.

Wish me luck.

[square_duck]

Bummer. Stuff like this sucks big time...sorry you have to deal with this, but as they say " the truth shall set you free" 

Good luck!

[saltedcaramel64]

Its very brave of you.  I dont know the specifics, but whatever they are, I hope justice is served.

 

[kasarberang]

7 minutes ago, saltedcaramel64 said:

Its very brave of you.  I dont know the specifics, but whatever they are, I hope justice is served.

A lot of abuse has gone on in that household. Basically my sister put a restraining order against my stepdad because he kept escalating things and being more and more violent, even going as far as to threaten to hit her. The court case is to get the restraining order to be permanent. If my sister loses, my mom and stepdad want to get a restraining order on her, which would make getting a job/place to stay very difficult for her. They basically actively want to ruin her life. My mom even told my other sister on the phone that "even if he did hit her I'd try everything in my power to bail him out."

I too hope justice is served. This has gone on long enough and I'm sick of it.

[~Brian~]

@kasarberang

1 hour ago, kasarberang said:

A lot of abuse has gone on in that household. Basically my sister put a restraining order against my stepdad because he kept escalating things and being more and more violent, even going as far as to threaten to hit her. The court case is to get the restraining order to be permanent. If my sister loses, my mom and stepdad want to get a restraining order on her, which would make getting a job/place to stay very difficult for her. They basically actively want to ruin her life. My mom even told my other sister on the phone that "even if he did hit her I'd try everything in my power to bail him out."

I too hope justice is served. This has gone on long enough and I'm sick of it.

(Of course for the record, this is my opinion in my opinion only based solely on the information provided above. This is clearly a case of severe domestic violence, even if people aren’t hitting each other, because you don’t necessarily have to hit anyone or hurt anyone for domestic violence to be violence)
 

It sounds to me like this is some sort of ridiculous story – and by that I mean it is the type of story where someone is hurt in someway, whether it be physical, emotional, mental, psychological, etc. and then to top it all off, this continues to escalate. I don’t know exactly what the dynamic is but it does not seem healthy, and I agree with you that you need to have peace of mind, because no one deserves to live in a situation where one person is playing off against another, and your mother is trying to say whatever happens she would help her husband, and this to me is the kicker because it doesn’t matter what happens in court your mother is so “entombed“ with the negative side of this, all she sees is that her husband may be jailed or punished in someway, and she’s going to fight to make sure he doesn’t have to pay the penalty for his actions. I think you are right, and I pray that whatever happens, you are able to find peace, and that you won’t have to deal with this garbage anymore. 
 

sometimes you have to do things that you may not like or things that you normally would not do. In this case, I think that stronger action is warranted, and I hope the judge will end up putting his foot down and Tell them both to “Cool it or you’re going to jail”. Perhaps if the judge was no nonsense, he would put an end to this. In all reality however, a relationship that is based on physical mental or psychological etc. violence is not good, and I hope that whatever happens, your sister does not end up getting blackballed because two people cannot get along and leave it alone.

It is my fear that if this continues, someone is going to end up dead or severely injured because they can’t deal with whatever is going on. I would hate to have anyone get hurt like that, but situations that are violent like that can escalate to that level, and I’m glad that you are going to go in and testify to let the judge know exactly what is going on. It is very hard on everyone, even if you have limited to zero relationship with your parents, and it can cause problems with your Health as well, because you do not need all the stress.

go in there and do whatever you have to do, and good luck this does not sound good at all, I hope you were able to find peace in someway!

Brian

[kasarberang]

13 minutes ago, ~Brian~ said:

@kasarberang

(Of course for the record, this is my opinion in my opinion only based solely on the information provided above. This is clearly a case of severe domestic violence, even if people aren’t hitting each other, because you don’t necessarily have to hit anyone or hurt anyone for domestic violence to be violence)
 

It sounds to me like this is some sort of ridiculous story – and by that I mean it is the type of story where someone is hurt in someway, whether it be physical, emotional, mental, psychological, etc. and then to top it all off, this continues to escalate. I don’t know exactly what the dynamic is but it does not seem healthy, and I agree with you that you need to have peace of mind, because no one deserves to live in a situation where one person is playing off against another, and your mother is trying to say whatever happens she would help her husband, and this to me is the kicker because it doesn’t matter what happens in court your mother is so “entombed“ with the negative side of this, all she sees is that her husband may be jailed or punished in someway, and she’s going to fight to make sure he doesn’t have to pay the penalty for his actions. I think you are right, and I pray that whatever happens, you are able to find peace, and that you won’t have to deal with this garbage anymore. 
 

sometimes you have to do things that you may not like or things that you normally would not do. In this case, I think that stronger action is warranted, and I hope the judge will end up putting his foot down and Tell them both to “Cool it or you’re going to jail”. Perhaps if the judge was no nonsense, he would put an end to this. In all reality however, a relationship that is based on physical mental or psychological etc. violence is not good, and I hope that whatever happens, your sister does not end up getting blackballed because two people cannot get along and leave it alone.

It is my fear that if this continues, someone is going to end up dead or severely injured because they can’t deal with whatever is going on. I would hate to have anyone get hurt like that, but situations that are violent like that can escalate to that level, and I’m glad that you are going to go in and testify to let the judge know exactly what is going on. It is very hard on everyone, even if you have limited to zero relationship with your parents, and it can cause problems with your Health as well, because you do not need all the stress.

go in there and do whatever you have to do, and good luck this does not sound good at all, I hope you were able to find peace in someway!

Brian

I would have done something sooner, but my sisters told me not to, prioritizing their place of residence over the abuse. Otherwise, I would have probably interjected a long time ago. There's a lot of emotional and psychological abuse going on there, tons of manipulation. My wife and I moved out shortly after my mom remarried, and we saw the writing on the walls. We were being abused while we were there too. My mom became an entirely different person once my dad died. No one realized exactly how much my dad was keeping my mom in check until he was gone. My mom felt safe and secure in her past relationship, which is probably why she's being the way she's being. My step dad has threatened to leave her constantly, to which she just bends over and does whatever he wants to appease him. Part of me feels bad for my mom, but her life and her relationship is her choice and there's nothing I can do about that and it doesn't excuse her actions regardless.

[Little Sherri]

Tough situation, I wish you luck and strength. It sounds like everyone involved would be best off steering clear of each other, court orders or no. Life is too short for this kind of garbage.

[Little Cub Pants]

7 hours ago, kasarberang said:

My sister called me today and told me that she got a restraining order against my stepdad. And apparently there's an official court case later to make it permanent. My mom and step dad are threatening my other sister to not paint my stepdad in a "bad light" and are fully intending to lie throughout the whole thing.

 

I will be going to court to testify against my mom and stepdad.

Wish me luck.

I'll be praying for you buddy!? Good luck!???☺️??♥️ Nothing's WORSE than family drama.??? LOL!?????

5 hours ago, kasarberang said:

A lot of abuse has gone on in that household. Basically my sister put a restraining order against my stepdad because he kept escalating things and being more and more violent, even going as far as to threaten to hit her. The court case is to get the restraining order to be permanent. If my sister loses, my mom and stepdad want to get a restraining order on her, which would make getting a job/place to stay very difficult for her. They basically actively want to ruin her life. My mom even told my other sister on the phone that "even if he did hit her I'd try everything in my power to bail him out."

I too hope justice is served. This has gone on long enough and I'm sick of it.

Wow! your mom and stepdad REALLY sound like a piece of shit!????????? That makes me so angry!????? I can't stand people like that to be honest!??????????????????

[Little Cub Pants]

3 hours ago, kasarberang said:

I would have done something sooner, but my sisters told me not to, prioritizing their place of residence over the abuse. Otherwise, I would have probably interjected a long time ago. There's a lot of emotional and psychological abuse going on there, tons of manipulation. My wife and I moved out shortly after my mom remarried, and we saw the writing on the walls. We were being abused while we were there too. My mom became an entirely different person once my dad died. No one realized exactly how much my dad was keeping my mom in check until he was gone. My mom felt safe and secure in her past relationship, which is probably why she's being the way she's being. My step dad has threatened to leave her constantly, to which she just bends over and does whatever he wants to appease him. Part of me feels bad for my mom, but her life and her relationship is her choice and there's nothing I can do about that and it doesn't excuse her actions regardless.

Yeah, and the fact that she brings other people into that mess, is NOT okay! I just really wanna BEAT the shit out of your stepdad! I can't STAND people like that!!!!!!??????????

[squishii]

9 hours ago, BabySpiderBoy said:

I just really wanna BEAT the shit out of your stepdad!

I feel the exact same way. Not necessarily guaranteeing I could beat him, I'm not actually a very big and burly person. However, I would definitely try to beat up someone like that. People who are abusive in that kind of way just don't deserve a spot on the world, let alone a family.

[MegaChar]

Look on the bright side! At least your not me sueing 5 different entities and possibly being sued back

[Little Cub Pants]

47 minutes ago, MegaChar said:

Look on the bright side! At least your not me sueing 5 different entities and possibly being sued back

Wait, you're suing 5 people?!????

[MegaChar]

3 hours ago, BabySpiderBoy said:

Wait, you're suing 5 people?!????

Entities- they could be people or business. Cannot discuss further then that.

[Little Cub Pants]

3 minutes ago, MegaChar said:

Entities- they could be people or business. Cannot discuss further then that.

Good luck buddy!!!!!?? I hope you get everything you want, and more!!!!???☺️???????

[kasarberang]

For those keeping an eye on this, I went to court today and my mom and her husband decided to settle, because of the immense amount of evidence stacked against them. The resolution did not benefit my sister as much as it could have, but it was quick and easy and prevented everything from dragging out as long as it could have.

[LonesomeLamp]

It’s good to hear that things went okay. Though it wasn’t as big of a help as it could and should have been, at least it was still helpful. And also, good that your mom and her husband chose not to fight it out. What’s next?

[kasarberang]

4 minutes ago, LonesomeLamp said:

It’s good to hear that things went okay. Though it wasn’t as big of a help as it could and should have been, at least it was still helpful. And also, good that your mom and her husband chose not to fight it out. What’s next?

I assume everyone moves on with their lives unless the issue escalates further. The shattered relationships in our family remain shattered, and I simply see where things go from here. My mom may or may not decide to contact me after seeing me show up. It's kind of up in the air, but things seem to be about as resolved as they can be, atleast at the moment.

[ValentinesStuff]

8 hours ago, kasarberang said:

For those keeping an eye on this, I went to court today and my mom and her husband decided to settle, because of the immense amount of evidence stacked against them. The resolution did not benefit my sister as much as it could have, but it was quick and easy and prevented everything from dragging out as long as it could have.

As long as your mom and stepdad obey the restraining order.

[kasarberang]

6 hours ago, ValentinesStuff said:

As long as your mom and stepdad obey the restraining order.

They didn't end up getting a full restraining order, instead they have a "No Contact order" or something like that, my sister's legal fees are paid for, and my sister is allowed to film my stepdad with or without his consent (California is a two party consent state, so this is very good for her for future evidence if she wants to pursue the case further), so she can have evidence if he tries anything and can easily reopen the case if needed.

She also got her cat back.

 

She would have pursued further, but they wanted to get a continuance and basically were banking on running the case out as long as they could, until my sister could no longer financially afford it. (even though if she won they would have had to pay her legal fees anyway.) Both lawyers thought it'd be best to settle. Personally, I think it's not the best resolution in the world, but it was one that was probably the easiest and left my sister with the most immediate protection. Allowing her to film my stepdad with or without his consent is huge.