Do you ever just think……

[Ipmapants]

Do you ever just think what the F….. am I doing?? I am a diaper lover but not in the way that I feel like most people are. I started out with an omorashi kink which in case you don’t know that that is, I like to pee my pants, and I like to watch others do that too. As I got older there was an obvious cross over onto diapers and I often encountered diaper wearing content and eventually gave it a try, around when I turned 18 or 19. I am 26 now and I have been wearing diapers on and off since. Often feeling huge fluctuations in interest. Meaning I can be super into diapers for a 2 week period and then the next 2 weeks I am deleting my daily diapers account and throwing out my diapers and wondering “what the F….. am I doing!?!?l”.  I don’t want to offend anyone in saying this but otherwise I would consider myself a typical adult. I am a fairly out going person, I have a career job, a girlfriend but when I go home I strap on a diaper. Does anyone else ever wonder “ what the F…. am I doing??” When it comes to wearing diapers?? I am constantly searching for answers and sometimes I conclude, I guess that’s just who I am

[CrispyCookiePup]

I had the same feeling, mostly because I didn't really have other friends that had the same interests with diapers as me. I mostly accepted it because I know that my fetish will never go away and that it has been around for almost my whole life, considering diapers might've been a security blanket item for me growing up.

[Little Cub Pants]

31 minutes ago, CrispyCookiePup said:

I had the same feeling, mostly because I didn't really have other friends that had the same interests with diapers as me. I mostly accepted it because I know that my fetish will never go away and that it has been around for almost my whole life, considering diapers might've been a security blanket item for me growing up.

In the same way an bottle would've been.?☺️???❤️?????♥️??????? And besides there's nothing wrong with a fetish. Even though, for you I think it's more about the security and love that an diapie provides you.??❤️? It's a lifestyle, not a fetish. And I'm the exact same way buddy!??❤️???

[drynot]

I remember going through the 'binge and purge' cycle back when I was much younger.  I couldn't understand the urge to wear diapers.....and I still don't.  That said.....I came to terms with being a DL a long time ago.  I can't say that things will get easier for you but I can say you're definitely not alone in your feelings.

[square_duck]

As said above, you are going through the dreaded and much hated and maligned (deservedly so) 

BINGE AND PURGE  cycles. You go nuts with it for a while, almost like an obsession, then it wears off, and shame and guilt take over, which causes you to ask "WTF am I doing??? ".....and toss everything out, only to have it come back a little while later and smack you in the head, and everything starts all over. Been there, done that...except I never threw anything away ??

I too accepted this side of myself many years ago, when I found I wasn't alone, and I'm not doing anything wrong, nor am I hurting myself, nor anyone else. 

Diapers are a 'different' for of "functional" underwear....millions of people around the world wear and use them for what ever reason ( accident, disease,handicap...etc) so there is no "issue". 

The real hard part is answering the question "WHY". This is difficult, and requires much thought and introspection, and most important of all...." Honesty with ones self" ??

Personally, I have reached a level of understanding regarding the "why I am a D/L" to the point that I am ok with it. It doesn't run my life, "I" do..I choose. Btw, I'm sitting here typing this out while in a slightly wet Bambino Magnifico v2, and thoroughly enjoying it!!! BFD!! Outside if here, DD, I am just a regular guy, I look normal, act a bit goofy, but harmless, have an average life, have a job, do social interactions....etc. You would never guess in my "personal private life" I'm a D/L!!! Not that us anyone elses business. I wear normal clothes, and if I go out "padded" I am very descreet....no one would guess, unless I have a leak. ?

Non of this bothers me....it is just one part of the whole that makes up who I am. So I wear diapers??? BFD! So do millions of others for "xyz" reason....doesn't hurt anyone, so who cares??

When you do the work, find answers, change your thinking a bit, and just accept you for you, things will change, and you wont worry so much about it. 

Also, don't throw anything away,( unless its used) when the desire or drive wears off, just put everything away, until needed in a few days or weeks...this saves money, and you dont beat yourself up as much. Everything will be there, quietly waiting for you to enjoy. 

So, hang out here, ask questions, relax ( it really is OK! ) and just be you. There are many, many,many people here, with HUGE amounts of knowledge and experiance....ready to help if needed. 

Post messages here, go to chat and hang out....read,read,read....with acceptance on your side at all times....

Oh, and explaining this to your girlfriend might be a challange, unless she is already involved at some level. You owe it to both her and the relationship... But most of all    HAVE FUN!!! ??

Hope this helps!

qwack

 

[Ipmapants]

Thank you everyone! It feels a lot better hearing that this feeling is more common than I thought! I think I am feeling it a little extra this time because I want to tell my girlfriend but I am worried that when I get to the purge feeling I will want to take back the fact that I told her! I think I am just going to rip the band-Aid off and just tell her. Because we will be moving in together soon and there will be the inevitable binge cycle again and then a giant Amazon package arrives and I am sure she will open it or be curious as to what is in it and than I just randomly go Diapers! I figure it would be better she knows it before that happens. She already knows about my omorashi kink, which you would think that would mean it wouldn’t be so bad to tell her about diapers but for some reason I am extra nervous to tell her about diapers. I guess maybe because of common misconceptions that people conclude about DLs. Anyways! Thanks again and I’ll report back how telling her goes if it end up doing it! 

[Dubious]

I sometimes wish I never had this fetish, but there isn't much I can do with it.
I have tried using boxers, but they itch and makes me stressed. 

Cheaper than smoking, and way cheaper than drinking.
There is more expensive hobbies. 

[Kawaharu]

18 hours ago, CrispyCookiePup said:

I had the same feeling, mostly because I didn't really have other friends that had the same interests with diapers as me. I mostly accepted it because I know that my fetish will never go away and that it has been around for almost my whole life, considering diapers might've been a security blanket item for me growing up.

For me, diapers are my wall and shield from the stresses of adulthood and they let me be young and babied. It’s why diapers are my safe space from adulthood. 

[FretaBWet]

In this community you're just average. I hate to use the term but your binge and purge cycles and your feelings that cause them are normal here. If you never had the negative feelings at all and the purges those feelings result in you would be unusual and different. But you're not. The good news is most of us outgrow it eventually. We come to recognize that we're not hurting anyone directly and beating yourself up over it serves no purpose whatsoever. You may find yourself thinking you're not going to continue playing with diapers so there won't be a long term to come to grips with the negative feelings. You wouldn't be the first to think that nor the last. Someday you'll be telling someone else to just relax and go with the flow when they post about their struggle with their feelings. Good luck, you're not alone.

Hugs,

Freta

[BabyJune]

For me, I'm satisfied that I found a way to unwind and let the "real me" come out even if it's only for seven hours a day during the week in the privacy of my own home.

[Amber's Boy]

Hey, man, I'm with you.  I did and thought the same thing, when I was younger. 

Always, this is weird, no one else is like this.  I'm the only one.

You're not the only one.  

If you dive in, or drop out, that's just you being you, and I'll give you a gold star for it.  I cannot recall who said it, but, Stay true to thyself. 

--E

Second one up is Lennon [or Yoko], the Beatles one not the Soviet one.  I hope no one needed me to say that.

[AbabeBill]

I just wanted to add my voice, and support to this. I’m just one more person, who knows what it’s like. The old, “been there, done that thing”. I’m sure you can see for yourself, it is a common theme. This is a good time, in that we have the internet, and sites like this to connect. When I was young, there was no such thing. Much more difficult to try and deal. It was allot of years, before I found AB subject matter in a magazine. You can imagine how good I felt, finding out I wasn’t alone in what I was doing. 
Anyway, I just wanted to chime in, and I hope things go well for you and your GF. You will be better off, once you get with her, and explain about yourself. After all, this is you, and part of who you are. Good luck!

[dlsafrica]

I used to pee on underwear (maybe mid 1980s) ... until I realised thats what diapers are there for

[Little Cub Pants]

1 hour ago, dlsafrica said:

I used to pee on underwear (maybe mid 1980s) ... until I realised thats what diapers are there for

So after you realized that, did you go and get some?????☺️???❤️?? LOL!?????

[Ipmapants]

Once again everyone your support it is extremely helpful and you guys are definitely making me feel a lot better! And an update, I told my girlfriend and my mouth got so dry from nerves when I was telling her I had to take a water break halfway through! But In the end it worked out pretty well, she is very tolerant person. The outcome was slightly disappointing because she said you are you and I understand that and that it is not exactly “left field” for me to like diapers, because like I said, she already knows about my other kink. With that being said, she said she would prefer if she didn’t see me in diapers even if they are under my clothing which maybe this is another talk that we will have to have a little later but I also understand she is entitled to her  boundaries also.