bedwetting Afternoon in the Chokey (Updated 5-6-24)

[SashaButters]

Matilda balked as Jennifer handed her a plate with a chicken sandwich and three little balls of the most vilest vegetable on the planet.

“Did you really only cook three brussel sprouts?” Matilda asked as she noticed everyone else’s plates were missing the little green abominations. Jennifer grinned as she took a bite of her own sandwich.

“You know, I suddenly just didn’t feel like having any, but you enjoy.” She said between bites.

Matilda poked at them with her fork and made an unpleasant face. She debated “accidentally” dropping them on the floor, but her father’s dishonesty kept coming to mind. She frowned. She hadn’t thought of him in at least a month. Determined not to be anything like him, even if it was just trying to get out of a petty bet, she pierced the repugnant little cabbage with her fork, plugged her nose and tossed it in.

“This is revolting.” Matilda complained as she chewed. Hortensia and Jennifer were all giggles while she struggled to swallow it down.

“They aren’t that bad.” Jennifer said.

“Horrid, abominable, gruesome.” Matilda said, before sighing and piercing the next one.

“Just two more and you’re done.” Jennifer said with a smirk. Matilda offered one to Hortensia, who quickly shook her head.

“That’s all you.”

“But they’re so…delicious…” Matilda forced a smile.

“What happened to horrid, abominable, and gruesome?”

“Just for the first five minutes.” Matilda said weakly before putting another one in her mouth as her face contorted. “Did you rub them in your armpits before putting them on my plate?” Jennifer rolled her eyes.

“It’s been hot enough to cook them under my arms.” said Jennifer. “I can’t wait for summer to be over, this humidity is awful.” She picked the last brussel sprout off Matilda’s plate and popped it in her own mouth. Matilda sank in her chair with relief before taking a bite of her sandwich. One more of Satan’s testicles and she might hurl again.

“Can I put in a movie?” Hortensia asked after they finished lunch.

“If you can find something appropriate. I don’t think Miss Trunchbull had any kids movies. We never bothered going through her collection. It might just be war movies.” Hortensia made a face.

“You don’t have movies?”

“We have books.” Jennifer said with an apologetic smile. “Other than a few minutes of the news before I go to bed, neither of us even turn the telle on.”

Hortensia looked as if Miss Honey had just slapped her.

“You’re both aliens!” Hortensia said before she went to look for something to watch. “How did they make so many movies about World War 2, jeeze!”

“Find anything?” Matilda asked, taking a seat on the couch. She’d rather play outside or kick their butts at Scrabble again. She crossed her fingers, hoping there was nothing but boring old war movies, but Hortensia was pulling a few Video Cassettes down.

“What’s ‘Silence of the Lambs?” Hortensia asked.

“No.” Miss Honey said. “Pick again.”

“What’s it about though?”

“Pick again.”

“A cadet in the FBI interviews a cannibal serial killer in hopes of catching another serial killer obsessed with moths.” Matilda said. Miss Honey gave her a look.

“Why do you know that?” Miss Honey asked.

“What? It’s a book!” Matilda said.

“I can’t believe Mrs. Phelps let you check that out.” Jennifer said with a shake of her head. “What else do you have?” Hortensia held up another cover with a man holding a briefcase standing under a lit streetlamp surrounded by fog. “No.” Miss Honey said again. “Why do you keep picking horror movies?”

“Is it a horror movie?” Hortensia asked looking at the cover.

“Ominous fog isn’t on happy movies.” Matilda said with a laugh. “I liked the book though.”

“Matilda! The Exorcist? Really?” Miss Honey asked. “Do I need to have a talk with Mrs. Phelps?”

“It had medical stuff in it…” Matilda said. “It was educational.” she said with a grin. Sure she couldn’t sleep for a week after, but that was beside the point.

“Is everything a book first?” Hortensia asked.

“Not all, but a lot of them are.” Miss Honey said. “Can you try and pick something PG?”

Hortensia looked at the back covers of what was in her hands and began shelving them.

“Everything’s mostly R.” Hortensia said. “How about this? It’s Pg-13.” She held up a copy of Jurassic Park. “It’s about Dinosaurs. ”

“And a book.” Matilda said. “I like the part where the lawyer gets eaten. That’s what he gets for abandoning the kids.”

“Can you handle it?” Miss Honey asked Matilda.

“I read the book.”

“I know, but movies can be much more intense than books.”

“Then I’ll stop watching it.” Matilda said. She’d give it five minutes before she got bored and found something else to do anyway.

Hortensia put it in and plopped down on the couch. She laughed and cheered every time someone got eaten. Matilda made it to the part where the T-rex was looking in the car window before she began finding great interest in what was currently present underneath her finger nails. When the raptors got out, she went to the restroom and took her sweet time.

“What did you think?” Hortensia asked Matilda, who was staring at the television looking shell shocked.

“That was nothing like the book.” Matilda mumbled horrified.

“The second one’s coming out next year! I can’t wait!”

“I can.” Matilda said.

“You’re not going to have nightmares tonight, are you?” Miss Honey asked.

“Rapters and severed arms will be an improvement.” Matilda said softly. Miss Honey put an arm around her and held her close for a moment before the phone rang. She sighed and stood up.

“I’ll be right back.”
…

“Hello?” Jennifer said into the receiver. There’s was a loud static and crackling noise before an automated message began to play.

“This is a collect call from Aylesbury Detention Facility from, Evelyn” Another hiss of static cut off the last name. “To accept the charges, please press one.” Jennifer quickly pressed the number on the receiver and put it back to her ear.

“Miss Honey?”

“Hi, yes, I’m here. How are you doing?”

“Another day in paradise.” Eve said sarcastically, before clearing her throat. “Is everything okay? Cynthia told me she ran into you guys today and Ten’s said she was sick. I mean, I know Ten’s loves to say that to her to freak her out, but…”

“Nothing to worry about, I promise. The girl’s were a little under the weather last night, but her doctor said it was just some minor food poisoning. She’s been fine today.” There was silence on the other end and Jennifer worried if she had said something wrong.

“You took her to the doctor?” Eve asked sounding alarmed.

“Well, yes, should I-”

“Did she bite anyone?!” Eve asked in a panic. “I know she’s behind on her vaccinations, oh god, I hope they didn’t try.”

“Ah, well, yes. They did catch her up on those. She wasn’t thrilled, but she needed them for school. I hope you don’t think I overstepped, I just figured, since you were currently…indisposed we’d take care of it.”

“How many people did she bite? Are they threatening to sue? Oh god.”

“No, no, I mean, it took, well, everyone to hold her down, but she didn’t bite anyone.” It wasn’t for lack of trying though.

“Jesus, Jen. I can’t believe you got that done.” Eve said with a sigh. “She’s not being a little shit head is she? Just say the word and I can have Cynthia come take her off your hands for you.”

Jennifer grimaced. So that’s where Hortensia got her foul mouth from.

“No need, she’s been fine.”

“She’s been…fine?” Eve asked, disbelief evident in her voice. “You don’t have to lie on my account. I know how she can be.”

“No, really, everything really has been okay. Matilda’s happy to have the company. We’ve gone camping, and well, that was a disaster. NOT because of Hortensia!” Jennifer quickly threw in.

“Has she had any of those…fits?” Eve asked cautiously.

“A couple.” Jennifer admitted. “We’re working on it though. I’ve been brainstorming ideas to help her during class, and she’s been doing a few worksheets in math to get her caught up for the new school year.”

“You’ve got her doing math? In the summer?”

“She’s making fast progress.” She heard Eve let out an exasperated sigh.

“Jennifer, I- I don’t know how I could ever repay you.”

“Repay me?” Jennifer asked confused. “You’ve watched Matilda for me several times, even when she got all of you sick.” She heard Eve laugh darkly.

“You’re so clueless, it’s sad.”

“What?” Jennifer said.

“I don’t mean that in a bad way.” Eve said quickly. “I mean, my daughter is difficult-”

“Umm, have you met mine?” She may have to worry about Hortensia breaking things, but Matilda could take down the whole foundation.

“Yet you’re taking the time to take her to the doctor and teaching her math.”

“It’s not a big deal.”

“Yes, it is. She’s been thrown out of every other school and daycare. You think I wanted to send her to a school run by your aunt after everything that happened? I didn’t have a choice!”

“So it was true.” Jennifer said. “I don’t remember much. Carol recently filled in the blanks.”

“Yes. It’s true.” Eve said.

“Does Hortensia remember?”

“No. Well, it’s complicated. She remembers you.”

“She does?”

“Well, not you specifically, but she remembers the ‘nice lady who read to her.’”

“Have you heard anything?” Jennifer asked. There was silence on the other end before Eve began to break down. Jennifer’s stomach felt like it was about to fall out her butt. “Eve?”

“I-I h-had my arraignment this morning.” she choked out. “Their charging me with three felonies, including your aunts death!”

“WHAT?!” Jennifer asked, floored.

“Jen…I didn’t! The only contact I had with her was when she held us all hostage! And I went to the police right after!”

“Y-you did?” Jennifer asked.

“I sent Hortensia into the station with a letter, since we never agreed she couldn’t tell anyone. Did no one ever follow through?”

“No, not that I’m aware of.”

“Their saying they found this letter in my safe I was using to blackmail her with. It’s not even the one the four of us wrote up. It’s completely different! I have no idea where it came from, or if they really found it in my safe at all. I don’t know what’s going to happen now.”

“D-did the judge grant bail?”

“750,000 pounds.” Eve whimpered. Jennifer’s head spun. “He may as well as denied it.” Eve said, breaking down into sobs. “I don’t have 75,000 pounds, and my house is ineligible to use as collateral because I used your aunts money to buy it! Now they’re saying it’s going to get repossessed!”

“D-do you have a lawyer? You can get a public defender-”

“I didn’t qualify for a public defender and it’s costing every pound I have to hire a decent lawyer.”

“What can I do?”

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but can you keep watching Ten’s for me? She doesn’t need someone who flinches everytime she coughs. She needs someone who actually cares. Cynthia…she’s my best friend, but she’s not a good long term fit for her.” Wait…long term? Jennifer closed her eyes. What was she getting herself into?
“Yes, of course Ten’s can stay.” She could hear Eve begin to break down again.

“Thank you, Jennifer. Thank you! Can I talk to her? I should be the one to tell her.”

“Yes, let me get her.” She let the receiver fall and she walked numbly back to the living room. “Ten’s? Your mom’s on the phone. In the kitchen.” She took a seat on the couch and stared shell shocked into the telle. She winced as she heard running footsteps pound up the stairs before a door slammed.

“What happened?” Matilda asked puzzled.

“I think our family just got a little bigger.” Jennifer whispered.

…

Matilda was talking a million miles a minute about all the things they could do together. She listed off bike riding, roller blading, and for some odd reason, base jumping. Hortensia simply nodded half heartedly as she stared at her half eaten slice of pizza.

“Are you not hungry?” Jennifer asked. She had seen her put away half a pizza just by herself last week, but that could have been the drugs doing. She herself had devoured an unholy amount of food that day. Hortensia shrugged.

“I made you an appointment tomorrow to go see Dr. Reinfield.” Jennifer said between bites. “No shots. I promise.” Hortensia didn’t respond, only continued to stare off into space. “Finish what’s on your plate and you can watch cartoons, if you want.” Jennifer offered, unsure what else to do. She practically had to drag her downstairs for dinner. If pizza, ice cream, and cartoons couldn’t cure what ailed her, she was at a complete loss.

“More telle?” Matilda complained. “Can’t we play a game or something?” Jennifer shot her a look.

“Let Ten’s pick the activities tonight, she’s had a hard day.”

“We’ve been watching it all day!” Matilda grumbled. One movie was not all day. Perhaps Dr. Reinfield had a point about using time as a punishment.

“Do you want to go to bed?” Jennifer warned. Matilda quickly shook her head. “You don’t have to watch it; you can go do your own thing. You can go read, or work on your stories.” Matilda hung her head in obvious disappointment. “She’s not here to entertain you.”

“I know that.” Matilda growled.

“Then give her her space.”
“I think… I just want to go to bed.” Hortensia mumbled. Jennifer frowned as she looked at the clock hanging over the stove. It was only seven. She had been in her room alone for several hours ever since she had talked to her mom.

“Why don’t you stay down here for a little longer? You won’t sleep through the night if you go to bed too early. If you still want to sleep when I put Matilda to bed at eight, then you can.”

“Eight?!” Matilda complained. “My bed time’s not ‘til 8:30!”

“You want it to be seven?”

“No.” Matilda whined.

When they had finished eating and the leftover had been placed in the fridge, the three of them made their way to the living room. Hortensia turned on the television and began flipping through the channels until it landed on something animated. Jennifer took up a spot on the recliner, kicked her feet up and picked up the book she had been reading.

Not ten minutes in, she could tell Matilda was already getting antsy. Jennifer couldn’t blame her, to her it had been a lot of telle, but she wasn’t about to tell Ten’s to turn on a documentary.

“What are you reading?” Matilda asked. Jennifer showed her the cover.

“Oh! I’ve read that one.” Matilda said. Jennifer didn’t doubt it. She had probably seen her name on the check out card in every other book in the library. “That’s the one where she-”

“Ah!” Jennifer said, holding up her hand. She hadn’t read it yet.

“And then he-”

“Ah!”

“And then they-”

“Ah!” Matilda giggled as Jennifer shook her head. After another five minutes and Matilda was climbing up the recliner and into her lap. “Can I help you?” Jennifer asked as Matilda made herself comfortable.

“Would you read to me?”

“Ten’s is trying to watch her show.”

“It’s fine.” Hortensia mumbled from the other end of the couch. “It’s a re-run.” She flicked the telle off and tossed the remote aside. Matilda stared wide eyed at her.
“Since when has that ever stopped you?” Matilda asked.

“You want me to read or not?” Jennifer asked.

“Yes.” Matilda said, snuggling up against her chest. “Hey, where are you going? It’s good!”

“Just going to grab something.” Hortensia said softly as she stood and slowly made her way upstairs, shoulders slouched and head hung.

“She’s not acting right.” Matilda said with a frown.

“Nice of you to get with the program.” Jennifer said with a sigh. “She’s going through a hard time right now.”

“Over a shot?” Matilda asked puzzled.

“No, Matilda, this is a lot more serious than a shot.” Jennifer said. “Her mom’s in a lot of trouble over something she may or may not have done.” Matilda still looked confused, but she could hear Ten’s coming back down the stairs. “Don’t worry about it. You remember how rough it was when you first came to live with me?”

“But I wanted to come live with you?” Matilda said, looking even more confused.

“Yes, but change is still difficult, even if you did choose it. Remember how frustrated you were when you learned you couldn’t just go anywhere you wanted by yourself? Hortensia didn’t choose to be separated from her mom, which is only going to be that much more difficult for her. If Eve’s lawyer can’t convince the district attorney to drop the charges, life as Hortensia once knew it could be over.”

Jennifer didn’t know if Hortensia knew how serious the situation was. A long time to her could be a month or two, but even if Eve was cleared of all charges at the trial, it could take years. The justice system moved at a snails pace. If Eve was convicted…Jennifer didn’t want to think about that. Hortensia’s own children would be grown before Eve ever saw the outside of a fence.

What on earth had she just agreed to?

Matilda had been an easy choice. She had fallen in love with the idea of being her mom from the moment they met. They had so much in common. They both loved books, museums, and learning. Minus Matilda’s far superiour IQ, Jennifer almost saw her as a younger version of herself.

Hortensia? She knew nothing about her, other than her violent tendencies, ability to cause mischief, and strike fear in the hearts of all the teachers at school. And that was when things in her life had been going well. As far as she knew anyway.

When Hortensia returned a few minutes later with a blanket and her stuffed dog, she stretched out on the couch with her head on the opposite arm rest away from them.

“Ten’s, do you want me to start from the beginning?” Jennifer asked.

“I’m not listening, do whatever you want.” she mumbled, burying herself underneath the blanket. Jennifer started from the beginning anyway. After a few minutes of reading, she noticed Hortensia switch ends of the couch, so that her head was now closest to them.

Not listening, hmm?

By 7:30 she could hear Matilda’s deep even breathing and Hortensia’s snores. She supposed she just had a boring voice. She had put them both to sleep in less than 20 minutes.

Jennifer set the book aside and rested her arms around Matilda, enjoying the comforting weight against her after the long stressful day. It never got old. She closed her eyes and relaxed, unwilling to break the spell of contentment she felt holding her sleeping daughter in her arms.

When she heard Hortensia begin to stir, she reluctantly opened her eyes to find her sitting up and staring at her with a peculiar expression. She gave her a questioning look, but Hortensia only continued to stare with wide eyes as her mouth hung slightly ajar.

“What?” Jennifer finally asked.

“You’re…her.” Hortensia whispered, now wide awake. “The burned lady.”

Jennifer racked her brain searching for something to say before settling on the truth. She nodded. Hortensia’s eyes grew even wider at the revelation.

“So…so…that means…” Hortensia said, struggling to come up with a complete thought.

“Let me put this one down for the night.” Jennifer said. “I think my voice bored you two to sleep earlier.” Hortensia frowned.

“It’s not boring.” Hortensia said as Jennifer stood with Matilda wrapped in her arms, her head resting on Jennifers shoulder. “It’s more like that green goo.” Jennifer’s eye brows rose.

“My voice is like green goo?” Jennifer asked amused as she carried Matilda up the stairs.

“She means your voice is soothing, like aloe vera.” Matilda mumbled sleepily.
“Oh?” Jennifer said, surprised before chuckling softly. “Good thing one of us speaks Hortensia.”

“What did she mean? You’re the burned lady?” Matilda asked as Jennifer laid her down in her bed.

“You were supposed to be asleep.” she whispered. “It means she and I are overdue for a conversation.” Jennifer admitted. “You might have company tonight.”

After tucking Matilda into bed and turning off the light, she made her way back downstairs to find Hortensia waiting for her.

“Let’s go to the kitchen. I think a strong cup of tea is in order.” Jennifer said, leading the way. They sat in silence for a few minutes, each sipping their drink before Hortensia seemed to realize what she was doing.

“I shouldn’t have drank this.” she mumbled. Jennifer brushed her concerns away.

“Don’t worry about it tonight.”

“What happened to ‘Matilda’s six; your eleven.’?” Hortensia mumbled.

“You went to the doctor; and you’re starting therapy tomorrow. As long as you’re in treatment and doing your part…” Jennifer shrugged. “That mattress has to be over twenty years old anyway.”

They sat in silence a few more minutes before Hortensia finally asked.

“What happened? I’m so confused about…everything. How is my mom responsible for Trunchbull’s death? I don’t get it.”

“The Trunchbull happened.” Jennifer said softly. “I got hur-” She stopped, cleared her throat, took another sip and continued. “Miss Tunchbull hurt me to the point I needed serious medical care, so she put an ad in the paper looking for a mother of a young child. Your mother answered the article thinking a disabled child needed a babysitter and…”

“And what?” Hortensia asked.

“Are you sure you want to know? Maybe I should check with your mom first…”

“No! Tell me! Does it have anything to do with what’s happening now?”

“It does.”

“Then tell me!” Hortensia demanded. “I’m sick of not knowing what’s going on!” Her voice began to crack with emotion. Jennifer rubbed her temples. Maybe not knowing was doing more damage than knowing.

“Miss Trunchbull held you, your mom, myself, and Mrs. Rodgers hostage in a bedroom for five days.” Hortensia stared at her wide eyed.

“I don’t remember this.”

“You were young, younger than Matilda. I honestly didn’t know it was you, any of you, until your mom was arrested. Mrs. Rodgers had to tell me. I was on a lot of pain killers.” Jennifer explained. “If you don’t remember, how did you figure out it was me?”

“I remember a little bit. I don’t remember being held hostage, I just thought I was with my mom at work.” Hortensia said. “When you were reading earlier, it reminded me of then. You read to me.”

“You were probably the only thing that kept me sane through it all. Your mom was the one who suggested I become a teacher in the first place.”

“She said you taught me how to read.”

“Just a few words. You already had the basics down.” Jennifer said. “Can I see your stuffed dog for a minute. I want to show you something.” Hortensia stood and went back out to the living room before returning with her stuffed animal and her notebook. She handed Jennifer the dog, which was dirty, ruffled, and much loved. She took it and looked at the tag. There, faded and barely visible was a small “J”. She pointed it out to her.

“He was yours?” Hortensia asked. She stared at the dog for a long minute before hugging it to her chest. “Where were we when this happened? Weren’t we out in the countryside?” Jennifer shook her head.

“Here.”

“Here?” Hortensia asked. “How were we here? We couldn’t have been here. We didn’t have plumbing. I remember an outhouse.” Jennifer laughed bitterly.

“That was my closet.” Hortensia’s face soured.

“Wait, so this all happened in the room I’m sleeping in?!” Jennifer sighed. She had been waiting for her to make the connection. “That’s why it felt so familiar! It was driving me crazy!” Her face began to lose color. “It’s haunted.” She whispered. “I saw it! There’s a monster in there!” Jennifer frowned and raised a brow. “I’m serious! I remember it! I’ve been dreaming about it ever since!”
“Are you sure you just didn’t dream it in the first place?”

“No! It was there in the room! The face!” Hortensia opened her notebook and thrust it towards Jennifer. She took it and studied the drawing.

“I promise, there’s nothing like that in there. Monsters aren’t real, Ten’s.”

“I know what I saw!” Hortensia said, beginning to grow angry. “If monsters aren’t real, then explain Trunchbull.”

“Okay, you’re right. She was a monster.” Jennifer said, palms up. She could sense another one of Ten’s fits coming. “There’s a good chance this isn’t what you saw though.” She slid the notebook back. “You were very young, and very traumatized. I don’t know if you remember, but she snapped your arm.”

“She did?” Hortensia said. She thrust her arm out. Jennifer could tell it hadn’t been set properly by the way it jutted out in an odd direction.

“You could have seen a movie, a painting, a cartoon character, or anything around the same time and your brain merged the memories together.”

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

“Some things aren’t worth remembering.”

“So why is my mom in prison then if she was a hostage?”

“We were afraid Miss Trunchbull was planning to kill you all once I was back on my feet to keep you quiet. She had already proved how violent she was. She broke your arm, beat up Mrs. Rodgers, and threw your mom down the stairs.”

“What did she do to you?”

“I’d rather not talk about it.” Jennifer said. “We came up with the idea of making her feel like she could buy our silence. We wrote up a contract and agreed never to talk about it if she paid your mom and Mrs. Rodgers. This was maybe… six years ago?”

“Then why did she only name my parents? I mean, I haven’t heard from my dad in like seven years.”

“I don’t know.” Jennifer answered truthfully. “All of us are confused.”

“So she did target me! I knew she had it out for me since my first day of school there!” Jennifer doubted it. It probably had much more to do with Hortensia pouring maple syrup in her chair than anything her mom may have been involved in. “Is that why you’re all scarred?” Hortensia blurted out. Jennifer’s face began to pale. “I saw when you went streaking towards the lake.”

“I-I don’t want to talk about it.” Jennifer stammered.

“She did that to you?” Hortensia asked. “Is that why you asked me about all that stuff then? Did she-”

“Stop!” Jennifer said, more forcefully than she had meant to. She closed her eyes and took a shaky breath, but when she opened them again she found Hortensia on her feet. Jennifer flinched. Hortensia’s eyes looked wild and filled with rage.

“Ten’s…” Jennifer tried to say, but in one quick movement Hortensia had grabbed the kitchen table and shoved it onto its side. Their half-drunk mugs of tea crashed to the ground, sending broken shards of porcelain scattering across the kitchen floor. “Hortensia!” Jennifer was on her feet too.

“YOU’RE JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM!” Hortensia began to scream.

Small footsteps began to race down the stairs.

“Mom! What happened?” Matilda called from the foot of the stairs.

“STAY IN YOUR ROOM, MATILDA!” Jennifer yelled before taking a deep breath. “Backyard. Now.”

…

“What did I get myself into?” Jennifer moaned into her hands. She was back on Dr. Reinfield’s couch, Hortensia was waiting in the lobby alone.

“You can always tell her mom ‘no.’” Dr. Reinfield said. “You are allowed to change your mind.” Jennifer rubbed at her face before looking up. “Especially if you feel Matilda’s in danger.” Jennifer gave a sad laugh.

“She’s furious with me for even considering it.”

“Who? Hortensia? Or Matilda?”

“Matilda.” Jennifer said. “She heard me on the phone with Cynthia last night discussing our options. I thought Cynthia was willing to take her in, but now she’s suggesting putting her in a group home.”

“Who’s Cynthia?”

“It’s Eve’s friend. As soon as she heard it might not be temporary she backed off. I feel like I’m her last option, and I don’t want to just abandon her.”

“Do you know what might have happened last night?”

“We were just talking and then she… lost it. She flipped the kitchen table. It had to weigh at least 45 kg!”

“What were you talking about?”

“Her mom and…” Jennifer sighed. “She kept asking all these really personal questions about things I didn’t want to talk about, and I might have raised my voice a little.”

“I see.” Dr. Reinfield said. “Feelings of rejection, whether real or only perceived, are a common catalyst for these types of attacks. Do these attacks happen when she doesn’t get her way? Or is this more of a build up?”

“Umm, I’m not really sure.”

“Say she wants pizza, but you made chicken. Will the attack stop if you give her pizza? Is there a goal in mind?”

“No, it’s not like that.”

“So it’s more like something that has to run its course and get out of her system?”

“Yes, it’s more like that. After the table and I sent her out in the backyard and made her do jumping jacks until she calmed down.”

“That’s a healthy way to handle it.” Dr. Reinfield praised. “Exercise is a good, safe, outlet. The screaming, and breaking things is caused by the energy built up needing to escape. The trick is to find healthy and safe ways to channel this sudden out of control energy. I have one patient who set up a punching bag in the garage.”

“I think I saw one of those in the basement.” Jennifer mused. Although she wasn’t sure she liked the idea of her getting even better at throwing a punch. Still, it was a better alternative than breaking everything in the house.

“Some people’s reaction to seeing a child in one of these fits is to restrain them, but I would advise against it. It increases the chances of injuries both to the child, and yourself.”

“She’s a biter.” Jennifer cringed. She thought of her conversation with Cynthia.

“What do you do when she’s like this?” Jennifer had asked.

“Pin her.”

“Jennifer, the good news, you’ve come to the right place.” Dr. Reinfield said. “This is the first step. While I can’t make them stop, I can teach you both strategies to help manage them, and if need be, I can refer you next door if I feel medication is necessary.”

“Thank you.” Jennifer said.

“If you’re serious about trying to help this girl, then bring her in and let’s see if we can work out a treatment plan.”

[CDfm]

I saw this today and was thrilled.  It seemed like such a long time since I had seen a new chapter.  Well no kidding it was a long time.  My sorry butt missed a chapter.  I don’t even know how that could be possible. I always look to read the older posts first so I don’t miss any but sure enough I missed one.  Well that just made today even sweeter then.  I got to read two new chapters. 
Again I loved both.  The humor is awesome.  Unfortunately today I was at the front desk in the ER and while we haven’t had a large crowd today there were times when I broke out laughing.  That got me a few strange looks.  
I have seen some younger patients who needed the entire staff to hold them down for a simple injection.  Times where I wish I had hearing protection because they were screaming so loud. 
This second new chapter was really a roller coaster for me.  The first part where Matilda was eating the Brussels sprouts got me a few of those strange looks I was talking about.  While I can’t say they are a favorite food of mine, I can eat them. I think they have just been given a bad name and because of that are hated just based on word of mouth not necessarily the taste. Then the rest of the chapter was heartbreaking again.  Poor Hortensia what a horrible thing for a child to have to go through with her mother then to have her forgotten past ripped open again.  The good news is that she does have Jennifer and Matilda looking out hot her.  I can see a bit of a remodel coming up for them in the near future. The more Hortensia remembers the more important changing her surroundings is going to be. 
Thank you for this awesome story!  I am simply loving it. 

[AdultInnocence]

Glad we have this site to read things on. The other one seems to be having a lot of problems as of late.

I'm glad that Jennifer decided honesty was the best answer at this point. I do think protection would save the mattresses and a bit of work in cleaning. They may not like it but when used to keep things clean, it's one option available.

[BabySofia]

32 minutes ago, AdultInnocence said:

The other one seems to be having a lot of problems as of late.

Unfortunately, there are really significant ones, too... not sure if people saw the post yesterday before the site went back down today, but according to one of the moderators, the current site owner was attacked over the site. Given the cryptic response to that post before the site went down again, I'm not sure if we'll see it back up anytime soon. 

Thanks, Sasha for posting it here, I agree about that!

[SashaButters]

On 11/12/2023 at 6:23 PM, BabySofia said:

Unfortunately, there are really significant ones, too... not sure if people saw the post yesterday before the site went back down today, but according to one of the moderators, the current site owner was attacked over the site. Given the cryptic response to that post before the site went down again, I'm not sure if we'll see it back up anytime soon. 

Thanks, Sasha for posting it here, I agree about that!

I am incredibly out of the loop over there. This isn't a fetish for me, so I just post chapters and bounce. I read the thread and still don't really understand what happened. The host got physically attacked? 

[BabySofia]

8 hours ago, SashaButters said:

The host got physically attacked? 

This is all just based on what they've posted, I have no solid knowledge on this information. According to posts for the last few months they had been dealing with someone at NaNoWriMo taking offense at ABDL stories. Somehow they got wind of people posting on both ABDL and their forums, and started outing them? (That's essentially what was said) They were in the middle of legal actions already from what I had heard about things, especially after they were attacking them via their host and law enforcement. From the sounds of later information one of these people tracked down the host and ambushed them, specifically left messaging about the ABDL and protecting kids. They mentioned stabbed, and it unfortunately sounded like more was done. The lawyer who has been involved in things made a post about no more accounts would be verified, and it sounded like they were going to have to go through accounts going back through last fall. There was a message briefly about why things were shutdown, and now no redirect to a site at all.

I hope she ends up being okay after everything... As far as the site it would be a shame for it to go away just because it is the only place on the web for some older stories with authors who have since been lost from the world. 

[SashaButters]

9 hours ago, BabySofia said:

This is all just based on what they've posted.

That’s horrible if all that’s true. I suppose it depends on where in the country they are. I’m spoiled where I am, everyone is very open and accepting, but if you lived in the south or Bible Belt… 

I hope they’re okay. I mean, I WISH it’s made up, cause that really makes you lose hope in humanity. I can’t even imagine what they must be going through. 
 

 

[Jayme]

It's a sad day indeed when the ABDL community is doxxed because of ignorance and stupidity. Especially when people are hospitalized over it... I really wish some people could wake up and see the damage they are doing. I'm not going to mention the group doing it because I don't want them coming after every site we (the ABDL community) have.

[SashaButters]

28 minutes ago, Jayme said:

It's a sad day indeed when the ABDL community is doxxed because of ignorance and stupidity. Especially when people are hospitalized over it... I really wish some people could wake up and see the damage they are doing. I'm not going to mention the group doing it because I don't want them coming after every site we (the ABDL community) have.

There’s always going to be a small fringe that gives every community a bad name unfortunately. The story forum is so tame in comparison to other abdl sites, even to this one. It’s not like they hosted [That site] or something. 
 

edit: guess I’m not even allowed to say the name lol

[Jayme]

I believe that name is still going to be taboo for a long time after what happened there.

[Allman90]

5 hours ago, Jayme said:

I believe that name is still going to be taboo for a long time after what happened there.

Its sites like that (I know tge one) that drive people to attack abdl. 

For one like that, i almost don't blame them... Almost

Sasha is right there's a fringe that ruins it for the rest of us. And those who attack are a fringe from whatever there community is also

 

Sorry to keep derailing

 

This story is still great. We all need someone like Miss Honey in our lives

[SashaButters]

Jennifer peeked in the rear view mirror as she drove back to Carol’s house to pick up Matilda. She had wanted to give Hortensia as much privacy as possible in case things got emotional without Matilda prying. Lord knew Jennifer had come out a mess more than once. She could see Hortensia wiping her eyes as she avoided looking in Jennifer’s direction. She didn’t know what they had talked about, and she wasn’t going to ask, but Dr. Reinfield had referred her to Psychiatry. She had been hoping she would. 

 

Luck had been on their side as he had been willing to see her right away, and had prescribed her an anti-anxiety medication. It was the same one he had prescribed Jennifer, but she couldn’t help but notice Hortensia’s was stronger, almost twice the dose. 

 

“I have homework for you.” Dr. Reinfield told Jennifer when she learned she had no set schedule for her. “What time do you put Matilda to bed?” 

 

“I usually tuck her in about 8-8:30.” 

 

“Nine for this one then.” 

 

“What?!” Hortensia had complained. “My mom never gave me a bedtime!” 

 

“And in that thirty to sixty minute window, I want you two to talk to each other, just the two of you. Every night. I don’t care what you talk about, it could be about telle, movies, books, the weather. Then I want you to tuck her in. Not just say ‘goodnight’ at the door, but actually tuck her in like you would Matilda. Then-” Dr. Reinfield  turned and made eye contact with each of them.  “I want you to read to her.” 

 

Hortensia’s mouth was hanging open wider and wider with every sentence. Even Jennifer’s eyebrows had shot up. She wasn’t opposed to the idea, just… surprised? 

 

Dr. Reinfield turned to Hortensia. “While she’s reading, I want you to close your eyes, listen, and work on the deep breathing I showed you.”

 

“But…but…I’m eleven!” Hortensia said. “If anyone at school found out…”

 

“Then don’t tell them. They don’t need to know.” Dr. Reinfield said with a shrug. “You may be eleven, but you’re a very, very stressed 11 year old. Starting your period is hard enough on its own, being separated from your family is hard enough on its own, being in an unfamiliar environment is hard enough on its own… Put them all together at once? Your body can’t handle all this. It’s crying out for help.” Hortensia scoffed and crossed her arms. “This is going to help you relax your nervous system, sleep better, and help ease the transition. You’re in desperate need of some T.L.C.” She could see Hortensia stiffen in her seat. “You know what that means, don’t you?” 

 

“Yeah…” Hortensia mumbled. “Tough Love and Correction.” Dr. Reinfield frowned.

“Who told you that?” 

 

“My mom and Cynthia.” 

 

“T.L.C. stands for Tender Love and Care.” Hortensia screwed up her face in disgust. “A hug can be a powerful thing. I think a good hug would do wonders for you.”

 

“No thanks.” Hortensia said, looking like she just ate something sour. “We’re not the touchy feely type.” 

 

“Don’t you find comfort when you hug your stuffed dog?” Miss Honey asked. Hortensia’s mouth fell open. Her face began to turn a shade crimson, and a look of betrayal crossed her features.

 

“You-you promised you wouldn’t tell anyone about that!” 

 

“‘Tens’, this isn’t the place for you to hold back, alright?” Miss Honey said softly. She reached her hand out to lightly squeeze Hortensia’s shoulder, but the girl pulled away. “This is a place where you can be completely.. you. No one is here to judge you, and nothing you say will leave this room.” 

 

“Do you understand what Dr/ patient confidentiality is?” Dr. Reinfield asked. Hortensia shook her head. “As long as you don’t express interest in hurting yourself, or anyone else, I’m legally obligated to keep everything you say private. I won’t tell your mom, or Jennifer, or Matilda, or your school. It’s okay to want human connection. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” 

 

“I’m not embarrassed! I just don’t want it!” Hortensia growled. 

 

“Doesn’t that ever make you feel lonely? Keeping everything bottled up all the time?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then why are you crying?”  

 

…

 

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I feel better about this.” Jennifer said as she drove. Hortensia still refused to look at her. “What do you think?”

 

“I don’t want to go back.” Hortensia mumbled. Miss Honey frowned. 

 

“Therapy isn’t easy, ‘Tens. You have to work at it. You learn things about yourself, and yes, sometimes those things aren’t easy to accept. It can be painful.” she explained. “I’m proud of you.” Her words hung in the air. 

 

“I didn’t do anything.” Hortensia said after a minute of silence. 

 

“You did though. You opened up. You didn’t just sit there and refuse to talk.” 

 

“Wait, I can do that? Just sit there and not say anything?” 

 

“Nice try.” 

 

“Man, how’s treating me like a five-year-old supposed to do anything?” Hortensia groaned, returning to stare out the window. “I know how to read.” 

 

“You seemed to enjoy being read to last night.” 

 

“You weren’t reading to me! You were reading to Matilda.” 

 

“Okay, okay.” Miss Honey said, forgoing the desire to point out she had turned off the telle to listen in. “But let’s give it a try tonight and see how it goes.” 

 

“You’re not actually planning on following her bloody stupid idea?”

 

“I am.” Miss Honey said. “I value her opinion. If she thinks it will help you, then yes, we’re going to do it.” 

 

“J'ai trois tétons.” Hortensia growled underneath her breath. Jennifer eyebrows knitted together.

 

“What did you just say?” 

 

“Nothing.” Hortensia mumbled. 

 

“J'ai suivi des cours de français au lycée et au collège.” She could see Hortensia stiffen in the back seat. “I’m trying here, ‘Tens. Could you meet me halfway, please?” 

 

When they got to Carol’s house, Jennifer rang the doorbell. 

 

“It’s unlocked!” She could hear from an open window. She let herself in and found the two of them seated at the kitchen table in front of a game of Scrabble. 

 

“Hi honey, have you been good for Mrs. Rodgers?” Jennifer asked, kissing the top of Matilda’s head. Mrs. Rodgers scoffed.

 

“She’s been a little terror. If she had been good, she’d at least give us a chance.” Carol said. Matilda let out a mischievous laugh. 

 

“So,” Jennifer said, hands on her hips after she heard Hortensia excuse herself to use the restroom. “You mind telling me why your friend told me she has three nipples?” Matilda flashed her an innocent smile. 

 

“She should probably get that checked out?” Matilda said. Mrs. Rodgers was trying to stifle a laugh with her closed fist. 

 

“In french.” Jennifer went on. “And I got the strange feeling that’s not what she thought she was saying.” Matilda let out a nervous sounding laugh and sank lower in her chair. 

 

“You told me to stop teaching her swear words.” 

 

“Yes, but she still thinks you are. Can you not embarrass her right now?” 

 

There was a sudden loud crash followed by an angry shout of, “Ich habe einen Hodenhochstand!” Mrs. Rodgers let out a low whistle. 

 

“Three nipples and an undescended testacle? Someone didn’t win the genetic lottery.” 

 

“What else did you teach her?” Jennifer demanded. 

 

“у меня есть танкетка” Matilda said. 

 

“Which means?”

 

“I have a wedgie.” 

 

Jennifer let out a long sigh and shook her head. 

 

“Was that Russian?” Mrs. Rodgers asked, sounding impressed. “How many languages can you speak, kid?” 

 

Hortensia came out from the back hall rubbing her shin. 

 

“You okay?” Jennifer asked. 

 

“Yeah, just kicked the door frame.” 

 

“And your testicles?” Mrs. Rodgers asked with a chuckle. “Sorry, testacle.” Matilda snickered and Jennifer shot them both a warning glare. 

 

“Huh?” Hortensia looked at each of them in turn looking for an explanation. Jennifer was not about to tell her. 

 

“Umm…remember those phrases I taught you a while ago…” Matilda said with a scared sounding laugh. “I lied. They weren’t swear words.” She sank lower in her seat as Hortensia narrowed her eyes at her. 

 

“So if they weren't swear words…what did I say?” 

 

“A few seconds ago, you said you had an undescended testicle.” Matilda admitted with a grimace. Hortensia’s face screwed up in what Jennifer assumed to be anger. She stepped into position to push her towards the back door, but Hortensia simply chuckled and took a seat.

 

 “You got me. Good one.” Jennifer stared at her feeling puzzled. Why wasn’t she blowing up? Why wasn’t she flipping the table over? Jennifer collapsed into the remaining empty seat. She noticed Jennifer eyeing her. “What?” 

 

“I thought you’d be mad.” Jennifer admitted. Hortensia screwed up her face.

 

“Over a prank? Nah. It was funny.” Hortensia grinned. “Wait, so what did I say in the car earlier?”

 

“Yes, ‘Tens, what did you think you said to me?” Miss Honey said, slipping into her teacher role and drumming her fingers on the table. Hortensia gulped.

 

“Uhh… ‘you’re my favorite teacher?’” Hortensia said hopefully. The three of them laughed while Jennifer rolled her eyes. She looked down and noticed a third rack of tiles. 

 

“Is someone else here?” She asked, looking around the kitchen but seeing no one. Mrs. Rodgers winked at her.

 

“He’s out back smoking a fag. Your wee lass here broke his spirit.” Matilda let out another mischievous laugh. Jennifer bristled. She knew Carol could be…promiscuous, but she wasn’t happy about her letting strange men around her daughter. 

 

“Carol!” Jennifer hissed. “Please…” she motioned to her daughter. Carol gave her a puzzled look. “You could have said ‘no’ if you had a date.” Carol stared at her a moment before she burst into laughter. The sliding glass door opened and a balding older man poked his head in and beamed at her.

 

“Mr. Trilby!” Jennifer said, surprised and let out a nervous chuckle. “Are you enjoying retirement?”

 

“I was until today.” He said with a frown and looked over the Scrabble board. “I was lured into a trap. Carol said I would be ‘challenged’ not ‘utterly defeated.’” Matilda snickered devilishly. Jennifer eyed the two of them curiously. Since when were they on a first name basis? And since when did she invite him over to play Scrabble?

 

“I’m sorry,” Jennifer quickly stood. “I’m in your spot.” 

 

“If you can improve my score, by all means, stay.” Mr. Trilby said. 

 

“I’m sorry, no one can help you.” Jennifer said with a giggle. Hortensia came around and peeked at his tiles. 

 

“You can play ‘poop’.” Hortensia said. 

 

“There’s no hope for us, might as well.” Mrs. Rodgers said. They all laughed as Mr. Trilby played P-O-O-P for ten points. Matilda then played P-R-O-J-E-C-T-S using all seven tiles across a double word score, landing the “J” on a triple letter score that ended the game. “Oh, thank God, it’s over.” Carol said with a shake of her head. “Will you join us for lunch? I made a chicken alfredo. Way too much for the two of us.”

 

“Oh, I don’t want to intrude.” Jennifer said. Mrs. Rodgers waved her words away and handed Matilda a stack of plates.

 

“Kids, can you go set the table outside?” she asked before quickly adding to Matilda. “With your hands.” The girls went outback followed by Mr. Trilby a few moments later. “So how’d it go?” 

 

“She didn’t bite anyone.” Jennifer offered up with a shrug. “She’s not happy about it, but I thought it went well. Pretty sure she tried to tell me to go ‘F’ myself in French.” 

 

“Are you really going to do this? Take her in?” Mrs. Rodgers asked as she pulled a tray out of the oven. 

 

“She doesn’t have anywhere else to go.” Jennifer said. “It hasn’t been bad, except for last night. It was so sudden. She’s been put on medication, I’m hopeful that will help.” Jennifer frowned for a moment and debated bringing her drawings up. “She thinks the room is haunted. I tried to tell her it wasn’t and I think that’s what set her off.”

 

“Haunted, huh?” 

 

“She says she remembers seeing this demonic face back from when we were all…” She let the sentence hang in the air. “She constantly draws it.” 

 

“Do you have these drawings with you?” 

 

“I do, actually.” She eyed Hortensia through the window, who was busy telling Mr. Trilby something, before digging through her backpack. She pulled out her notebook and opened it to find one of the sketches. She showed it to Carol who stared at it for a moment before letting out a sad chuckle. 

 

“I wondered if that was it.” she mused. Jennifer stared at her questioningly. “Come with me, I want to show you something.” Jennifer followed obediently to her bedroom and waited while Carol dug around in her closet. She could hear loud banging as things toppled onto the floor from the higher shelf. After a minute, Carol emerged holding a small cardboard box and handed it to her. Jennifer stared at the lid. There written in black marker was “Jennifer Honey. Age: 16,” followed by a date. She slowly removed the lid and peeked inside before letting herself collapse onto the bed. 

 

These were photographs of her. Of back then. She flipped through the pictures and winced. She looked terrible. So sickly and… She turned her head away at the graphic image. She knew it was her own body, but it was horrible. Carol slid the picture off the top and held it next to Hortensia’s drawing. She drew imaginary circles around the more prominent features of the photograph and compared it to the facial features of the drawing. No wonder Hortensia thought she saw a demon. Jennifer couldn’t even stand to look at it. 

 

In the blink of an eye she was back in that room. The Trunchbull standing over her, empty cooking pot in hand. Blinding, searing hot pain made her cry out in agony. She was screaming and writhing on the bed. Her aunt was holding her down. She could hear her name being called from somewhere off in the distance. 

 

“Jennifer! Jennifer!” She opened her eyes to find not Miss Trunchbull, but Carol staring down at her, eyes full, not of malice, but of concern. “You back?” Miss Honey hid her face in her hands. Her hairline was damp with sweat. “It’s okay, take your time.”

 

 Jennifer let out a shaky breath as searched the room for five things she could see. Mrs. Rodgers, flower wallpaper, a dresser, a telle, her aunt standing in the corner. Four things she could hear: Her breathing, the kids playing outside- 

 

“YOU LITTLE WHORE!”

 

-The ticking of the clock on the wall, Mr. Trilby’s voice. Three things she felt: Scared, shaky, and sweaty. Two things she smelled: Carol’s perfume and lunch wafting from the kitchen. One thing she tasted: blood. She had bit her tongue. She focused on the coppery taste and pain for a moment longer until her ragged breathing began to resume its normal rhythm. She opened her eyes again. Her aunt was gone and she was alone in the room. She swallowed down the bile that was rising in her throat. Where had Carol gone? She hadn’t heard her leave.

 

Her question was answered a moment later when she reappeared offering her a glass of water. Miss Honey’s mouth went dry at the sight of it. She gulped it down until she began to cough and choke on it. 

 

“Sorry, flashback.” she mumbled as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. It had been a while since she had last had one. Not since before Carol’s anatomy lesson.  

 

“Stop apologizing, I’m the one who showed you the photos.” Mrs. Rodgers said before sitting on the edge of the bed. “I wanted to give you a heads up. I’ll be turning this over to Eve’s lawyer, whether it helps her case or hurts it. I’ll most likely be incriminating myself in the process.” 

 

“No, don’t! I don’t want you to get in trouble over this.” Jennifer said. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I mean, you lost your license. Haven’t you been punished enough?” Carol scoffed. 

 

“It will never be enough.” She said, hanging her head. “This guilt is…” 

 

“There was nothing you could have done.” 

 

“I could have gone to the police. I should have gone to the police!” 

 

“Eve did. Nothing happened. It wouldn’t have made a difference.” Carol snapped her head around to look at her. “She said she sent Hortensia.” 

 

“Interesting. I’ll have to check with her lawyer and see if they followed up on this.” she sighed as she stood and offered Jennifer a hand up. Jennifer reached for it, but suddenly Carol's hand snapped around her wrist. Her eyes were staring intently at the faint scar that ran the length of her forearm. “Is that what I think it is?” Jennifer tried to pull her arm away, but Carol was gripping too tightly. 

 

“It was before-”

 

“Don’t lie to me! I documented every injury on your body!” She growled. “When did this happen?” she demanded. 

 

“It doesn’t matter!” 

 

“JENNIFER! WHEN DID YOU TRY TO COMMIT SUICIDE?” 

 

“The night you left.” Jennifer said softly. Carol released her arm and stared at her, horrified. “I knew no one was coming for me.” she said numbly. “But I didn’t have enough physical strength to cut deep enough. I never believed she would actually send me to college or let me work. What did I have to live for?” Jennifer looked up to meet Carol’s eyes and flinched. She was crying? Why? “I don’t blame you.” she whispered.

 

“WHY THE FUCK NOT?!” Carol yelled, tears streaming down her face. “God, that’s why you were so calm about us leaving you behind.. You had it all planned out.” 

 

“I did.” Jennifer whispered. She had stored these memories in a box and buried them in the recesses of her mind. She had planned to get away from her aunt one way or another.  In the end, even that plan had failed. She patted the space next to her on the bed. Carol stared at her a moment longer as if deciding whether or not it was a trap and sat. With a deep breath to brace herself, she took Carol’s hand and rested her head on the older woman’s shoulder. She had never initiated contact with an adult before. She felt her stomach clench when Carol immediately dropped her hand, but relaxed when her arm wrapped gently around her side and held her close.

 

“You’re an enigma.” Carol said after a minute. 

 

“Hmm?” Jennifer mumbled. 

 

“If I were you I would hate me.” 

 

“If I had been angry at you…” Jennifer paused to collect her thoughts. How could she phrase this in a way that made sense? “It would have meant I would have believed you in the first place. The idea of rescue was nothing more than a fantasy to me, like the idea of having my own family.” 

 

“I could have come back, I-”

 

“Let it go. You can’t change the past. You’re here now.” Carol scoffed.

 

“A lot of good that does.”

 

“But it does.” 

 

“Be honest, please. I need to know. Don’t hold back.” Jennifer sighed and shut her eyes tight. This was a can of worms she didn’t want to open. She had sealed the memories away for a reason.

 

“I woke up to Agatha telling me I was so useless I couldn’t even slit my own wrist correctly. She roughed me up a bit over the money, but that was nothing new. Then I dealt with near constant infections from lying in my own waste until I could walk. Eventually she picked me up and dropped me into a cold bath; said the smell was coming downstairs.” Jennifer said with a shrug. 

 

Her own voice sounded robotic and far away. How many hours had she sat at her window watching, waiting, hoping someone would come for her? Everyday the hope inside of her dwindled lower and lower like a forgotten candle, until she was left with nothing but the cold, empty depression. The raw ache of disappointment and hopelessness was almost as painful as the injury itself. 

 

Then came the itching as her skin healed. Too terrified to scratch or rub at it for fear her aunt would walk in and get the wrong idea, she often wiggled on the bed like a worm that suddenly found itself on the sidewalk after a heavy rain. 

 

“I was never angry.” Jennifer said softly, pressing her palm against her forehead at the flood of memories. The flood of pain. No, that wasn’t true. She had been angry. Furious. But not at Carol. She was enraged for having met her. Why hadn’t they just let her die? It would have been kinder than filling her with such a false hope of salvation. The hope that turned to a rotted mass inside her as she waited. Her eyes began to overflow with fresh tears. “But I was in agony.” Then she was beating on Carol’s chest with her fist, harder and harder, but Carol just sat there and took it.  “Why? Why didn’t you come back? You promised!” 

 

…

 

She had been on auto pilot the rest of the day and into the night as she worked to set up a space for Hortensia to blow off steam. The old wound that had been wrenched open ached deep inside her chest, which only filled her with a sense of self loathing for letting something so old drag her down. Why couldn’t she just be happy for what she had now? She was free. She had a family. A career. 

 

Jennifer could feel the panic begin to well inside her. She sat at the kitchen table alone nursing a mug of tea. She ran through her grounding exercises, until she began to feel more in the present. Jennifer stood and grabbed a second mug before refilling her own and another for Hortensia. She had put Matilda to bed already and sat back down at the table, grateful that her daughter had been unusually compliant tonight. She hadn’t even pleaded for an extra ten minutes. 

 

“Hortensia!” Jennifer called. Hortensia poked her head into view and frowned. “Come have a seat.” She stared at the chair across from Jennifer a long moment before reluctantly joining her at the table. She picked up the mug, stared into it a moment before setting it back down without taking a sip. “I didn’t poison it.” 

 

“I’m tired of doing laundry in the middle of the night.” Hortensia mumbled. Her face had taken on a shade of pink and she avoided looking in Jennifer’s direction. 

 

“There’s a way to avoid it.” Jennifer said softly. 

 

“I’m not wearing a bloody diaper.” Hortensia growled. 

 

“No diaper. I promise.” Jennifer said, raising her palms. “A pad.” Hortensia screwed up her face in confusion. “For the bed.” Jennifer threw in, before she got the idea she could pee in her pants on her period. She could see her doing something gross like that. “If you wake up wet, you just toss it and go back to sleep.” Hortensia considered this for a moment, found it acceptable, and took a sip of her drink.

 

“I’m sorry about last night.” she mumbled. 

 

“May I ask what set you off? Do you know? What did you mean, ‘I’m just like all the others.’?” 

She sat staring into her mug for a long time. Jennifer was starting to think she wouldn’t answer, but at last Hortensia mumbled, “I lied.” 

 

Jennifer stared at her feeling puzzled, but Hortensia refused to meet her eyes or elaborate. She looked uncomfortable. 

 

“About?” 

 

“What you asked me at the lake.” Hortensia said so softly Jennifer could hardly hear. Jennifer racked her brain, but she couldn’t remember. “She wasn’t the only one.” Jennifer tried to get her to explain, but Hortensia had shut down and refused to say anything more on the subject. 

 

“I’m sorry about last night too.” Jennifer said when her questions were getting her nowhere. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. It’s a… difficult topic.” Hortensia shrugged and took a long sip of her tea. Jennifer sighed. “Do you want to know?”  Hortensia shrugged again, but she had looked up and met Jennifer's eyes for the first time. “My aunt threw boiling water on me.” Hortensia winced. “And you saw it without the bandages on. That’s the demon face you remember. Mrs. Rodgers showed me a picture and compared it to your drawings. Great bedtime talk, Jenny, that will really help with her nightmares.” she chastised herself out loud. Hortensia grinned. 

 

“So, I have nightmares… because I saw you naked?” Hortensia snorted as Jennifer let her head fall into her hands. 

 

“C’mon, that’s enough ‘bonding’ for one night. Bed.” Hortensia scowled.

 

“It’s so early.” she complained, but stood up and followed her up the stairs. 

 

“Go on and get ready for bed. I’ll be there in a minute.” 

 

“You really don’t have to do this.” Hortensia said, trying in vain to stop her from reading her a bedtime story. 

 

“I do.” Jennifer insisted. Hortensia hung her head and headed to the bathroom, pajamas in hand and grumbled under her breath along the way. Jennifer took the opportunity to raid Matilda’s closet for the bag of disposable pads, ignoring her daughter’s cry of “Stop! Thief!” 

 

She placed the pad in the center of the bed and made up the covers before Hortensia made her way back. Jennifer held the corner of the blanket up for her, and watched as ‘Tens face darkened with embarrassment. This could be fun, Jennifer thought as she chuckled. 

 

“In.” With a look that said she’d rather do anything else, Hortensia slid underneath as Jennifer wrapped the blanket around her and sat on the edge of her bed, book in hand. She rolled her eyes as Hortensia scooted as far away from her as she could. “I’m not going to bite you.” Jennifer said before raising her voice. “I only bite little girls whose name starts with the letter ‘M’!”

 

“Hey! I heard that!” they heard from across the hall. Jennifer chuckled before frowning at the look on Hortensia’s face. She was clearly uncomfortable with the close contact. Maybe she was imagining it, but she almost looked scared. 

 

“Are you okay?” Jennifer asked. Hortensia nodded. She supposed they weren’t there yet. She slid off the bed and made herself comfortable on the floor. “Is that better?” Hortensia nodded, looking relieved. “I’m not comfortable with close physical contact with adults either. It’s okay.” 

 

“I hate when Cynthia does it.” she mumbled.

 

“Have you tried telling her it makes you uncomfortable?” 

 

“Yeah, but they just tell me to stop being rude.” 

 

“As long as you’re polite about it, don’t be afraid to ask for your space. Now if you told me to get the hell off your bed…” Hortensia snickered. Jennifer smiled and cracked open the book she had been reading last night. She read a few pages before looking up. Hortensia never seemed to take her eyes off her. “Relax. You’re supposed to be working on your breathing exercises. Lay on your back and relax.” she said before adding, “I’ll stay down here.” Hortensia reluctantly rolled over and Jennifer continued reading until she finished the chapter. She closed the book and stood. She’d have to remember to bring a chair with her tomorrow. Her legs had fallen asleep. She could hear Hortensia snicker as she tried to waddle to the hall. “Good night, ‘Tens.” 

 

“Night.” 

 

“You did good today.” she said before flicking off the light. 

 

Before she made her way to her own room, she poked her head in Matilda’s and found her bed empty. With a sigh, she made her way to her own and found what she had expected- a small lump waiting for her underneath the covers. She undressed and climbed into bed, forgoing the nightgown. Almost immediately, the small lump began to move towards her before it settled in the crook of her neck. She wrapped her arms around the lump and kissed the top of her head. 

 

“You needed a hug?” Jennifer asked. She was starting to worry Matilda was getting jealous of the attention she was giving Hortensia given the way she had acted with Hazel.

 

“No.” Matilda said softly. “You do.” 

 

“You know me so well.” Jennifer agreed before squeezing her tighter. 

[BabySofia]

28 minutes ago, SashaButters said:

“No.” Matilda said softly. “You do.” 

Sweet moment here. Hopefully they all can heal through this, but there's no doubt that there's a lot of pain to around with all of them at this point.

[CDfm]

The emotional roller coaster some of these chapters are taking me on are incredible!  I go from actually laughing out loud to getting tears in my eyes and needing a tissue.  You truly doing an outstanding job with the story. I honestly believe that you could have this particular story published and it would sell once word got around a little bit. 

[kerry]

On 11/15/2023 at 10:04 AM, Jayme said:

I believe that name is still going to be taboo for a long time after what happened there.

Could someone DM me and tell me "what happened" at the Site That Shall Not Be Named? I know it's gone (and good riddance) but I don't know why.

 

18 hours ago, SashaButters said:

There was a sudden loud crash followed by an angry shout of, “Ich habe einen Hodenhochstand!” Mrs. Rodgers let out a low whistle. 

 

“Three nipples and an undescended testacle? Someone didn’t win the genetic lottery.” 

I laughed out loud at this one!

[SashaButters]

Jennifer was learning to tell what kind of night Hortensia had had by the way she came down the stairs in the morning. The loud approaching stomping signaled it had not gone well. Sure enough, Jennifer saw she had her pajamas balled up in the crook of her arm. She flashed Hortensia a sympathetic smile as she stormed past her and stuffed the bundle into the washer before loudly plopping down at the table.

 

“Try not to let it bother you so much. It’s out of your control.” Jennifer said, trying to be reassuring. “Let it go.”

 

“I think she already did.” Matilda snickered. 

 

“Matilda!” Jennifer admonished. “That was uncalled for!” The little brunette girl sank a bit in her seat. “I would have thought you of all people would be more understanding.” 

 

“I was just joking.” Matilda grumbled. 

 

“How would you feel if I made fun of you when you were having accidents?” 

 

“You called me ‘Sally the Super Soaker’ to Mrs. Rodgers.” Matilda mumbled. Hortensia snorted. Jennifer silently cursed her photographic memory and cleared her throat.

 

“Anyway, after you two are done eating, go get ready to leave. I have some work to do in the office today.” 

 

“Are we going to Mrs. Rodgers’ house?” Matilda asked. 

 

“No,” Jennifer said, setting plates down in front of each of them. “I figured I'd take you to the school with me.” 

 

“During the summer?” Hortensia balked. “Why can’t we just stay here?” 

 

“Because I have a surprise for you two.” Jennifer said. And because she didn’t trust them not to blow the house up while she was gone. She opened a small orange bottle and dumped a tiny yellow pill into her palm before setting it down in front of Hortensia’s plate. She pulled her own out of the kitchen cabinet and made a show of it. Normally, she kept it in her bathroom and took it while she got ready in the morning, but she was trying to make it a point to take it in front of Hortensia. Jennifer watched as she reluctantly picked it up and glared at it. 

 

“Do I have to?” Hortensia grumbled. They went through this every morning. “It makes me sleepy.” 

 

“Yes,” Jennifer said. “Give it another week or two. You’ll get used to it.” It had made her drowsy as well when she had first started it. She felt a tiny pang of guilt. Hortensia may not be enjoying it, but she was much more docile when she didn’t have the energy to argue. 

“It’s making it worse.” Hortensia complained. 

 

“I promise I’ll call the Dr. today, alright?” Jennifer relented. “Maybe the dose is a little high for you, but it might just take time for your body to get used to it.”  Hortensia scowled at the little pill for a moment longer before letting out an exaggerated sigh and swallowed it. 

 

“What’s the surprise?” Hortensia asked. 

 

“You’ll have to wait and see.”

 

“Hey, mom?” Matilda asked. “Are you and Mrs. Rodgers fighting?” Jennifer froze mid bite of toast. 

 

“No.” she answered after a pause.

 

“Then why aren’t you returning any of her calls?” Matilda asked. Jennifer inwardly flinched and set her half eaten toast down. 

 

“I’ve been busy is all.” 

 

“You’ve been acting differently since you picked me up.” 

 

“Different how?” Matilda shrugged. 

 

“You just are.” 

 

It wasn’t that they were fighting, Jennifer just didn’t feel like talking to her.  She had called at least seven times in the last two weeks, but Jennifer found herself “too busy” to answer the phone. She wasn’t on her list of favorite people at the moment. It was like she had wanted Jennifer to be upset with her, and well, she had succeeded. The ache in her chest began throb again at the thought. Why did she have to go and open old wounds? 

 

“Is she dating Mr. Trilby?” Matilda asked. 

 

“Eww.” Hortensia said with a laugh. “He smells like… tobacco and rotting cabbage.” She had hoped Carol wouldn't stoop so low as to mess around with a married man, but she realized she didn’t really know her that well anymore. Or if she had really known her at all.  Another pang of sadness filled her. 

 

“He’s married.” Jennifer said. “I think they're just friends.” She hoped. “Finish eating, we need to leave soon.” 

 

…

 

“Woah!” Matilda and Hortensia said in unison. Their faces lit with both wonder and excitement while their jaws hung open. Miss Honey’s eyes gleamed with delight at their enthusiasm. The board had advised against it, said they didn’t have the funds, but Jennifer had insisted until they caved. The kids of this school had been through so much under Trunchbull's reign of terror. The least Jennifer could do was make sure they had a proper playground. 

 

“Go on.” Miss Honey beamed. “You guys can be the first to test it out.”  They both took off like Jennifer told them there was a fifty hidden in the sand. She smiled as she left them to it and headed into the office. It was nothing compared to the daycare she had sent Matilda to, but compared to what they had had… It was a miracle none of the kids had gotten tetanus. 

 

She scowled at the thought of how she had gotten the funds. Jennifer had been so sure Agatha had been stealing from the school to pay off Carol and Eve and hiding it in the textbook purchase order. But when this year's invoice came, she found she was being charged the same absurd amount. The order hadn’t been faked. Her aunt hadn’t been embezzling funds at all. She was just really bad at running a school. Both from the education side, and the business side. 

 

All it had taken was a single, “Thanks, but no thanks.” and taking her business to the other book distributor in town and suddenly all her requests for the school were being approved. Suddenly, they did have money for fresh paint, new desks, and better food. She had been counting on them realizing she was a terrible fit for the position. She had planned to be back to the Year 1 classroom by the next school year. 

 

Now they had the false idea that she could do this. She would fall flat on her face if they put her on such a high pedestal. It wasn’t her that had found the issue after all. It was a student! And she couldn’t very well tell them her first act as Headmistress was to let a five and ten year old at the books. She was only delaying the inevitable. If she was going to get removed, which she was ninety percent sure she would, she was going to change this place as much as she could before she did. 

 

Last she heard things were getting messy with their old book supplier. The education board was demanding the refund for the six years of overpayment or face jail time. That was, what, 20 pounds a book times six books per student times ninety students times six years. It was not a good day to be ACR Publishing. 

 

Something still bugged Jennifer. It was six years. Everything still kept coming back to six years ago. It couldn’t be a coincidence it happened at the same time. But what would a publishing company have to do with any of this? She didn’t think Eve or Carol had anything to do with ACR, but who knows? Maybe Carol had slept with someone there…

 

She shook the unpleasant thoughts out of her head and pushed them down as she made her way to the office. She didn’t have time to dwell on these things. She had class schedules to make. Once she reached her desk she sat down with a wince. Not from the bug bites, but a new injury- her hip.

Hortensia had been itching to go to the skate park, Jennifer hadn’t known she knew how to skate, but according to her she could do most things on wheels. And it turned out she had, quite well, surprisingly. It had taken Jennifer by surprise. She had had the impression Hortensia was like a couch potato. 

 

Matilda was just happy to do anything that wasn’t sitting in front of the telly. Unfortunately for her, having a large IQ had not helped find her center of gravity in the slightest. She was often running inside in tears with some new scrape or cut. She had accumulated quite a few of them in the last couple weeks. 

 

Finally, some normal kid injuries. 

 

Miss Honey was just glad to see her trying new things; not stuck up in her room all the time reading. 

 

She silently laughed at a memory. Jennifer had never even thought it would ever interest Matilda. She had only taken the girls at Hortensia’s request. Matilda hadn’t been too keen on the idea, but Jennifer had promised ‘Tens could pick the next activity they did as a reward for good behavior. She really had been trying. So to the arcade they had went. She had mentally given Matilda five minutes before she started complaining she was bored, but from the very moment they had stepped in the building, Matilda’s eyes had gone as large as saucers. She was hooked. 

 

Who would have thought Matilda would enjoy something as mindless as video games? On the surface, she begrudgingly accepted her daughter’s non- academic hobbies, but on the inside she was raising her closed fist in victory as she saw the other kids’ fingers fly over the buttons. Finally, something to help her with her dexterity. Her powers and intellect did her no good here. 

 

Thanks to their new shared hobby, Jennifer was discovering another added benefit. Video games cost money. With the promise of a couple quid each if certain chores got done, Jennifer was discovering a lighter load of housework. And alone time. She had seen how their brains shut off the moment they stood in front of a cabinet. Jennifer could trust they’d stay out of trouble by themselves if they promised to stay together. 

 

Hortensia’s presence was growing on her, she had to admit. Now that Matilda was more and more occupied, Jennifer was discovering she had time for other things. She could catch up on housework, or read without a certain little one ruining the end for her. She could take a bath, take a nap… have secret phone conversations with Brian… 

 

Sometimes she just needed to talk to another adult. Another parent. He was easy to talk to. They never talked about anything deep, or personal. Mostly they just talked about the kids. They had made a game of it, trying to one up each other over who’s kid would cause the most trouble if left alone unsupervised. So she told him how Matilda had put edibles in the pancakes, and he told her about Hazel offering him a bar of chocolate. It wasn’t until half way to drop the kids off at school in the morning did he realize too late Hazel had gotten into the laxatives. She had taken a bite expecting sweets, found it gross, and handed him the rest. He had consumed the equivalent of six doses. The kids had been over an hour late to school. 

 

“You got me!” Jennifer said with a laugh. “I just ate a whole pizza by myself and took a nap.” She left out the part about crying herself to sleep and letting her best friend stick her fingers up inside her. She winced at the implications that thought did without context. 

 

“That sounds so much better than fighting for your life for an hour and a half in a run down petrol station loo with three kids banging on the door wondering what’s taking you so long.” Jennifer snorted. 

 

He talked about taking the kids to the skate park. Jennifer mentioned Hortensia had been asking to go. Then they had all met yesterday at the Aylesbury skate park. 

 

If Matilda thought she’d be on the same level as Hazel was on a skateboard, she had been sorely mistaken. Jennifer could still see the look of shock in Matilda’s eyes as Hazel ran forward, jumped on her board, and went down a ramp to join the others. 

 

“You can’t be the best at everything, sweetheart.” Jennifer said as Matilda slumped down on the bench. 

 

“I didn’t think i’d be the only one who couldn’t ride a skateboard.” Matilda grumbled. 

 

“Hazel’s been skating since she could walk.” Brian said. “She wants to do everything her big brothers do.” He let out a sigh. “I really appreciate you coming all this way. I was hoping Hazel would get to see her again.”  She looked at him confused. 

 

“What?” Jennifer asked with a laugh. Hazel had left Matilda, who was he talking about? She gazed across the park and her mouth nearly hung open. Hazel and Hortensia were skating together and laughing at something. Jennifer’s brain whirled. She had thought he was using her so Hazel could play with Matilda, not Hortensia. 

 

“Hazel’s a complete Tomboy, wants to do everything her brothers do. That means dirtbikes, football,  skateboarding, and video games.” Brian said as he counted off on his fingers. “Some girls at her summer camp have been giving her a hard time about it and saying girls can’t like those sorts of things. Now she’s self conscious and trying to be girly, and it’s just not like her.” 

 

She could see Matilda’s brain spinning as she listened nearby.

 

“So she doesn’t really like Pollie Pockets?” Matilda asked. 

 

“She found that thing a week ago in the street.” Brian laughed. “I don’t think she ever knew what a Pollie Pocket was.” She could see Matilda’s shoulders slump forward with relief. 

 

“So if she liked football, why’d you keep her down from playing with them at the camp?” Jennifer asked. 

 

“So Matilda could have someone to play with.” Brian said. “I had assumed you would hold her back because of her eyes.” Jennifer laughed.

 

“I kept her back because you kept Hazel back and I wanted Hazel to have someone to play with.” Jennifer said. They grinned at each other and shrugged. 

 

“I wanted her to see there are other girls who like this kind of thing.” 

 

“Oy! Matilda, aren't you coming?” Hortensia yelled from across the park. Jennifer watched as Matilda slowly rolled the skateboard to the edge of a small ramp and peeked down before backing away. At least she had enough common sense to know her limits, Jennifer thought to herself. 

 

“Here, come back.” Brian said as he walked over. Jennifer watched with rapt attention as he offered Matilda his hand. She hesitantly took it and he guided her down the ramp. She was beaming when she reached the bottom, Brian still holding onto her for support. Jennifer grinned and cheered. There was a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach as she watched him guide Matilda up and down various smaller ramps and dips. 

 

“You want to try?” He called out to her once he saw her watching them. 

 

“No.” Jennifer laughed. 

 

“C’mon!” He gestured her forward.  

 

She shook her head again and laughed, but found herself standing up and making her way forward. Matilda had every piece of safety equipment on money could buy, she had nothing. But it wasn’t like she was going to go down any ramps. She’d stand on it, kick out a couple times to satisfy them, and give it back. 

 

Matilda grinned at her and kicked her the board. Jennifer tested it out for a minute with her foot. Hortensia jumped off her board and came to a running stop. 

 

“Are you going to ride it?” Hortensia looked even more eager than Matilda. No pressure. Hortensia began to chant. “Miss Honey! Miss Honey!” Then Matilda joined in. And Brian. She stood on the board and kicked on the ground. In less than three seconds she found herself flat on her back. It was a good thing no one offered her drugs as a teen. Clearly she was powerless against peer pressure. 

 

“Oww,” she groaned as she sat up and checked herself over to make sure nothing was broken. 

 

“Are you alright?” Brian asked, standing over her. 

 

“Yeah,” Jennifer said as she wiggled everything to make sure it all still worked. He offered her a hand and she took it.  “Good thing I’m still young.” 

 

“It hurts differently in your thirties.” He said with a laugh.

 

“Good thing I have a ways to go.” She laughed. His smile faltered a bit. 

 

“How far?” He asked. 

 

“Are you asking a woman how old she is?” she asked in pretend shock. 

 

“Well, you’re the most accident prone woman i’ve ever met. I need to know if I should plan on driving you to the hospital again later, or preemptively call an ambulance now.” He teased.  Jennifer blushed with embarrassment. She was as graceful as an ox, it was true, but she hadn’t lost her balance. It was like an invisible force had knocked her down. She ground her teeth together. Matilda… She was standing off to the side watching them. Hazel and the boys were watching from the other end. 

 

He was giving her a questioning look.

 

“I’m twenty-three.” Jennifer said. His easy going grin fell, but maybe she was imagining it. “And you?” 

 

“Thirty-four.” He said with a grimace. Jennifer shrugged. He looked surprised by the gesture and waited for her to elaborate.

 

“My other friend is almost sixty.” 

 

“Ah.” he said. He smiled again, but it wasn’t the same. 

 

“What?” she asked. 

 

“I thought you were older.” He admitted. “Our kids are the same age.’

 

“One is adopted, and the other is just staying with us for the summer.” Jennifer said. What did it matter? Weren’t they too old for the age difference to matter? 

 

“You’re a schools headmistress. Not many twenty-three year olds can say that.” 

 

The worst school in the district, but sure, she’d give him that. 

 

“It is an old lady job, isn’t it?” Jennifer asked with a grimace. 

 

“I think you need curls if you want to pull off that grumpy headmistress look.” Brian said with a sympathetic smile. 

 

“Hmm, no, a bun.” Jennifer said. She pulled her hair tight against her scalp. “The tighter the hair the stronger the desire to suck the happiness out of children.” He chuckled. 

 

Jennifer had waited until her and the girls were alone in the car before she rounded on Matilda. 

 

“I can’t believe you, Matilda.” Jennifer said. “I can’t believe you would stoop so low to try and make me look bad.” Matilda flinched looking genuinely confused. “I get that our friendship makes you upset but-”

 

“What are you talking about?” 

 

“You knocked me off that skateboard. I could have gotten hurt, you know.” Matilda stared at her with disappointment written across her face. 

 

“I would never do anything to hurt you!” Matilda said. 

 

“I felt something invisible slam into me. You’re the only one I know with an ability like that.” Jennifer said. 

 

“Miss Honey?” Hortensia asked from the back seat. “Matilda was behind you the whole time.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“And you fell backwards.” 

 

“Okay…” 

 

“So if it was Matilda, wouldn’t you have gone …forward?” 

 

Jennifer opened her mouth to argue, but no argument came. It felt like she had been shoved backwards. There was no normal explanation for what she had felt, but Hortensia was right. She looked to Matilda, whose eyes were now brimming with tears. She felt a stab of regret for what she had said. 

 

“I…I don’t understand.” Jennifer said. “I was skating and then it was like something hit me in the chest.” 

 

“From the front.” Hortensia said. 

 

“From the front.” Jennifer agreed with a grimace. “Unless you saw what hit me?” Jennifer hoped. She had looked for a rogue football, something to explain what had happened, but all she had seen was Matilda. 

 

“Who was in front of you?” Hortensia asked. 

 

“Brian’s kids.” Jennifer said with a frown.

 

“Maybe Matilda isn’t the only one pissed about you two dating.” Hortensia suggested.

 

“We’re not dating!” Miss Honey laughed. “I mean, he’s eleven years older than me.” Jennifer let her head fall into her palm. 

 

“What’s wrong? I have a friend who's almost sixty.” She mocked her own voice. She didn’t need anyone to embarrass her. She could do it just fine on her own. She was surprised when she felt a pang of sadness in her chest. She had never allowed herself to fantasize about the “what ifs” They were friends. She had always known they would only be friends. But now there was this finality about it that disappointed her. That look in his eyes earlier. That was him realizing she wasn’t an option. 

 

For the best, she had a lot of crazy to hide. He probably dodged a bullet. She couldn’t do it. If it ever came to that, she knew she couldn’t do it. What kind of girlfriend would she be, being this terrified of intimacy? She had no business dating right now. She’d scoot as far away from her partner in bed as Hortensia did from her every night. 

 

“Maybe you’re just bad at skateboarding.” Matilda grumbled. Jennifer sighed.

 

“You’re probably right.” Jennifer admitted. Maybe she had just fallen, saw Matilda, and assumed the cause was supernatural. What was more likely, she was bad at something she had never tried before, or two kids having supernatural powers? “I’m sorry.” 

 

Matilda liked to use her powers to play pranks. Like making Jennifer score a 37 on the first hole in mini golf. Matilda and Hortensia had found Jennifer’s growing frustration hilarious. No matter how perfect and straight the ball appeared to be going, once it got to the hole, it curved out of the way just a touch. By her 36th attempt, the reason the girls found it so funny finally clicked into place. 

 

“Matilda!” she had cried. The girls were in tears from laughing so hard. Jennifer walked the ball back to the start and tried again. Hole in two. 

 

It was a far cry from causing physical injury. 

 

By this morning, she had entirely convinced herself she had fallen off on her own. Until she saw the bruise on her chest. She had landed backwards. Something really had hit her. But what? She thought of how angry Matilda had been when Jennifer punished her for cracking Brian’s windshield over them exchanging phone numbers. She had sworn it wasn’t her. The only other person by the car was Hazel, but it couldn’t be. What were the chances of two kids with psychic powers? What was in the water in Aylesbury? 

 

Good thing things wouldn’t have worked out between them. She could only imagine what it would be like as they got older. Two supernatural forces fighting over one bathroom? Nope. She wanted to call and ask him, but how would that conversation go? 

 

“Hey, has anything weird and unexplainable been happening on your end? Why? Oh, no reason, but I think one of your kids might have tried to kill me with their mind…” 

 

“Hide the crazy, Jennifer.” she muttered to herself. 

 

“Talking to yourself isn’t a good start.” A voice said. Jennifer lifted her head to find Mrs. Pearl standing in the doorway of her office. Her face flushed with embarrassment. She had been so preoccupied she hadn’t heard her come in. 

 

“Good morning.” Jennifer forced a smile.

 

“Good afternoon.” Mrs. Pearl said. “It’s nearly lunchtime.” Jennifer’s head swiveled until she faced the clock. 11:30? 

 

“Oh. the days slipping away.” She looked at the mess of papers scattered across her desk and tried to push them in a pile. “What are you doing here?” 

 

“Trying to fix up my classroom. I had a few things I wanted to hang up, but I needed some tape. I didn’t realize you were here.” 

 

“Oh, I think I have some.” she opened her desk and rooted around in it. She looked up when a second smaller set of footsteps approached. She looked up to find Matilda standing there looking worried. “What is it, sweetheart?” 

 

“I can’t find ‘Tens.” Matilda said. “I ran in to use the loo, but when I came back out she was gone.” Jennifer frowned. 

 

“I’m sure she’s around here somewhere.” Jennifer said. “Maybe you two just missed each other.” 

 

“Who’s ‘Tens?” Mrs. Pearl asked. 

 

“Matilda’s friend, Hortensia.” 

 

“I don’t know of any younger students by that name.” 

“Hortensia, you know, the older blond girl with the short pixie cut. She’ll be in your class this year.” Mrs. Pearl sniffed as if she smelled something unpleasant. 

 

“Oh. That Hortensia.” she shook her head. “ Her mom’s been in the news. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree apparently.”  Jennifer forced another smile.  “Well, I sent her off. She has no business here.” 

 

“She’s watching Matilda for me as I work.” Jennifer corrected. Mrs. Pearl's face fell. 

 

“I think you might want to consider a better babysitter. Aren’t you worried she’d be a bad influence?” Jennifer had no question of who the bad influence in the pair was. 

 

“She’s actually quite sweet once you get to know her.” Jennifer said. 

 

“Oh really, because she just called me an old hag and flipped me the bird.” Mrs. Pearl said. Jennifer closed her eyes and winced. 

 

“I will deal with her.” Jennifer said. She handed over a roll of tape. “I better go find her.” 

 

Jennifer left the room feeling frustrated. Here she was trying to help Hortensia, and she was already causing trouble with her new teacher before Jennifer had even had a chance to talk to her. She walked around the grounds with Matilda at her side, but she wasn’t anywhere to be found. She searched the bathrooms, and the classrooms, but Hortensia was gone. Finally she found her, sitting outside the school grounds with her back against the cinder block fence and her head in her knees. 

 

“Hortensia, why is your teacher already telling me you called her an ‘old hag’?” Jennifer demanded. Hortensia looked up at her. Jennifer’s stomach clenched. 

 

“What happened?” Jennifer asked. Her bottom lip was fat and bloody.

 

“She hit me.” 

 

“What? Why?” Jennifer demanded. Hortensia shrugged.

 

“When Matilda left, she came after me. Started hollering about how I wasn’t supposed to be there. I tried to explain I was with you and she hit me with the paddle.” 

 

“In the face!?” Jennifer asked. All the teachers had paddles under Agatha’s rules, even Jennifer, but she had refused to use it. She wasn’t even sure if they were allowed to use corporal punishment. Another thing the board had overlooked. 

 

New rule. No hitting the kids. She couldn’t believe she actually had to say that out loud. She had thought all this would stop once her aunt was gone.

 

“That’s when I called her an ‘old hag’.” 

 

“Come inside.” Jennifer said. She offered Hortensia her hand, but she just stared up at her. “Let’s clean your lip. Rumor has it there’s actual medicine in the nurse’s office now.” Hortensia stood and followed her inside. 

 

“You should fire her.” Hortensia growled from the seat in the nurse's office before wincing as Jennifer patted her split lip with a wet paper towel. 

 

“There were several teachers I wanted to replace.” Jennifer whispered. “Unfortunately, it’s not up to me.” All those times her aunt had threatened to fire her, only to now learn she didn’t have the authority. All she could do was make recommendations. Turns out it was difficult to find teachers willing to work in a school with such a bad reputation. She would be writing a very strong letter of “recommendation” for her removal. She was under no illusion that she’d be replaced. She knew she’d still be there September 1st, but writing it had made her feel better. 

 

In the meantime, she had let Mrs. Pearl have it. 

 

Hortensia was still gushing about it over dinner, embellishing the story with every telling. 

 

“I swear, your mom made her cry!  I saw tears running down her face when she left her office. It was so cool!”  Hortensia said to Matilda. Jennifer had not made her cry. Mrs. Pearl had simply stared at her as if Jennifer had lost her mind when she had demanded she come up with alternative ways to dealing with misbehavior. 

 

…

 

“...And here I thought he was only talking to me so his daughter could play with Matilda, not Hortensia.” Jennifer said with a small chuckle as she sat on Dr. Reinfield’s couch. The Dr. stared at her for a moment through her glasses before clearing her throat.

 

“Does that worry you?” 

 

“No?” Jennifer asked, confused. “I know she can be a little rough around the edges sometimes, but I don’t think Hortensia is really that bad of an infl-

 

“No, I meant, is the thought of him talking to you only for his daughter distressing to you?” 

 

“No? I mean, I am enjoying the company, though. I’m not very good at meeting people, so it's been nice having another parent to talk to. I guess I don’t really care why he’s talking to me, as long as he is.” 

 

“You sound fond of him.” 

 

“He’s…” Jennifer swallowed. “Nice. A good friend. He’s good with Matilda, he even held her hand and coaxed her down some ramps at the skatepark.” 

 

“Any thoughts of maybe… being more than friends?” Dr. Reinfield asked. 

 

“No, no. It's not like that.” Jennifer said quickly. “I mean, he’s eleven years older than me. I don’t think he’s okay with the age gap. He said he thought I was older.” 

 

“So you’d be okay with it?” Jennifer flushed. 

 

“I don’t know. I never considered it. It doesn’t matter.” 

 

“If the age gap wasn’t there, would you consider it?”

 

“I don’t know.” She wanted to get off this subject. “I wouldn’t make a good girlfriend.” she mumbled. 

 

“Why do you say that?” 

 

Jennifer grimaced. She had too many problems. Too much baggage. Not to mention… “I just wouldn’t.”

 

“Does the idea of being in a relationship scare you?” Jennifer averted her eyes and nodded. 

 

“What about it scares you?”

 

“Everything. Just the thought of being touched, of anyone seeing…” 

 

“What about the thought of being loved?” 

 

That was the most terrifying of all. 

[CDfm]

I was very happy to see a new chapter.  Once again the emotions were all over the place. The ending just broke my heart.  How sad that Jennifer is terrified of being loved.  I thought it was really interesting that there might be two little girls with the special powers. How else do you explain the bruise though. The incident Hortensia had with Mrs Pearl angered me.  Assaulting a child gets you an immediate ride to the grey bar motel with me. 
I am loving the story and will be waiting for more. 

[AdultInnocence]

Her friend seems like good therapy for her. He seems to have a lot of patience but I'm wondering why he frowned at her age. I'm wondering if it isn't the age gap, but he is comparing his success in career to hers, like he was comparing his daughter to Matilda.

Was that force and falling of the skateboard anxiety or can Matilda change the direction and didn't know it?

[Allman90]

4 hours ago, AdultInnocence said:

Was that force and falling of the skateboard anxiety or can Matilda change the direction and didn't know it?

Even though it feels like it sometimes I don't think anxiety can leave a bruise

[AdultInnocence]

4 hours ago, Allman90 said:

Even though it feels like it sometimes I don't think anxiety can leave a bruise

I had to go back and read the bruise was on her chest. I thought the bruise was on her backside from falling down. That makes more sense on why she thought Matilda had did that now.

[Mazamune]

Hi there,

I'm so glad to find chapters keep being add here.

As always they are full of feelings and super enjoyable.

Thanks again for your writing.

Cheers.

 

[SashaButters]

7 hours ago, Mazamune said:

Hi there,

I'm so glad to find chapters keep being add here.

As always they are full of feelings and super enjoyable.

Thanks again for your writing.

Cheers.

 

Thank you 🙏 always nice to know people are still following this.

 

I just got on a cruise ship, I’ll keep writing but once I turn on the wi-fi it won’t let me on this website cause it’s a “porn site” but if I finish a chapter I’ll post it on my a03 account. 

[SashaButters]

Text

“What made you so mad?” Matilda asked as she sat at her easel in the backyard and watched Hortensia go to town on the punching bag.

“Stupid” Pound. “Doctors.” Pound. Hortensia grunted before slamming herself into the bag.

“What happened?” Matilda asked curiously. She set her paint bucket down and opened the lid for the red paint. She dumped her brush in and went to work.

“They won’t take me off the pills!” Hortensia complained. “It’s those stupid things that are making me… Ugh!” She grunted and let out a barrage of hits.

“Weren’t you already doing that before?” Matilda asked before squinting at Hortensia, then back at her painting.

“Not this bad.” Hortensia grumbled. “It was just once or twice.”

“Four times!” Matilda coughed into her arm. Hortensia gave her a dirty look before resuming her workout. “Hold still, I can’t get the angle right.” She pretended to frame Hortensia with her hands, a paint brush held between her teeth. Hortensia scowled.

“What are you painting?” Hortensia asked slowly.

“You.” Matilda answered before returning her focus to the page. She grinned before giggling. Hortensia raised a suspicious brow and stormed over.

“What the hell is that supposed to be?” Hortensia asked. “It looks like a cryptid!” There were four legs on a horse's body, at least it was supposed to be a horse’s body, but she had goofed on the height . And Width. And shape. Instead of a horse’s head,(not like she could paint that anyway) she had added a blond girl's head.

“Horsetensia.” Matilda giggled.

“If you’re trying to draw a centaur, it’s at the waist, not just the head. ” Hortensia scoffed. Matilda painted boobs on it. “Oh my god.” Hortensia chuckled. “That looks nothing like me.”

“You're right.” Matilda grabbed the brush and made a yellow puddle under it. “That’s better.” She felt the brush get ripped from her hands as Hortensia dipped it in another color.

“Then this will be you.” She drew a crude person followed by a brown trail.

“Hey! That’s mean.” Matilda pouted. “I was sick.” Hortensia dipped the brush in green and left another pile by her feet.

“Hey, girls, whatcha doing?” They looked up to find Brian hovering over them.

“Just. Playing.” Matilda said nervously. She looked at their crude work of art and cringed.

“Cool giraffe! Hey Jenny, check this out!” He called. Matilda flinched as she heard her mom come over. “Check out the giraffe! She even drew it sideways!” He took the page and flipped it on its side.

Huh, it did look like a giraffe.

“See, honey, I told you if you keep it up you’ll get better!” Jennifer praised. “This one is my favorite. I’ll put this on the fridge!”

Hortensia was in near hysterics.

“Is Hazel here?” Matilda asked. Hortensia flinched and whipped her head around. Matilda snickered. Hazel had been following the older girl around like a lost puppy ever since they had gone to the skatepark a few weeks ago. Matilda found it amusing. The younger kids at school were terrified of her, but nothing Hortensia did could shake this one. Not even shocking her with tales of toilet swirlies to the other “runts her age” seemed to shake her of her blind idolization. To her, Hortensia could do no wrong.

Hortensia clearly didn’t know how to react to this. She was used to things like : Fear. Intolerance. Avoidance. Not worship.

Hazel had been coming over a lot lately. (Her fancy private school clearly hadn’t covered personal space.) Which meant that he was coming over a lot lately. Matilda sighed. She had thought the age gap would have ended things between them. But thanks to Hazel’s Hortensia fixation and Brian’s inability to say “no”, they had been spending even more time together.

“No, I’m not staying long.” Brian said. “Just came to look at the A/C.” Hortensia’s shoulders relaxed. Matilda frowned. So this visit wasn’t Hazel’s doing. He had come solely on Jennifer’s request. Worse. To do her a favor. Her eyes narrowed. She looked at the lights and began to make the bulbs shake. He eyed the flickering patio lights. “And maybe the breaker.”

She released the power and scowled. She had been forced to resort to silly tricks to make the house look haunted. She had gotten the idea from Hortensia, who had begged her to make her look possessed in front of Brian so he’d stop bringing Hazel around. Matilda had rolled her eyes. She knew damn well Hazel would think it was the coolest thing ever. She just wanted to show off for her.

“You should have made the leaves spell ‘GET OUT’.” Hortensia laughed after he had gone back inside. “Or made the brush spell out ‘DIE’ in red paint.”

“Jenny would kill me if I painted the patio.” Matilda said. “She’s weird about this place. She wasn’t this borderline neurotic about messes before we moved here.” Just the other day she had seen a few snack wrappers on the floor by the couch and almost had a panic attack. “Besides, it's too obvious. If he ran out screaming Jenny would know it was me. I’m trying to be subtle, make him slowly question his sanity. Make him feel uneasy here. ”

“Yeah, uh-huh. Great job with that.” Hortensia said, looking in the kitchen. Matilda peeked her head in. He was sitting there having a cup of tea with her!

Her anger was immediately replaced with a sense of excitement at a sudden “Whoo Whoo” coming from the large oak tree. Matilda looked up and beamed. Yes! She won! Double the arcade tokens!

“Mom!” Matilda yelled running into the house. “I told you Mrs. Rodgers would send her owl if you didn’t call her back.”

“Her…owl?” Brian asked, looking puzzled. They both flinched back as a large brown owl flew in the open door Matilda held open. Whodini opened his beak and dropped a letter in a very startled looking woman’s lap, before landing on the kitchen table. He hopped over and began to nibble at a plate of snacks. Both Jennifer and Brian stood and stared in shock as the large bird of prey had its way with a lemon bar.

Jennifer looked to the fridge for the broom.

“Hi, Whodini!” Matilda cooed as she approached the table. She stuck out her fingers and lightly stroked the bird's head. The owl hooted contentedly. Matilda had spent enough time with him to have gotten over her fear of the large bird. Clearly, Jennifer had not.

“This, uh, yours?” Brian laughed nervously.

“No.” Jennifer said wide eyed.

“No way, he really does deliver post.” Hortensia said. “I thought Mrs. Rodgers was full of shite.”

“Language!” Jennifer said. She was apparently not startled enough to ignore Hortensia’s foul mouth.

In another attempt to discourage Hazel’s presence. Hortensia had taken up swearing as much as possible in order to reinforce that she was not, in fact, a good influence. Matilda had a suspicion it was just another attempt at showing off. The closest he had come to acknowledging her behavior was asking if she had an older brother. Jennifer, on the other hand, looked like she would have a stroke any day now. She had even gone as far as to put the preteen in the corner for fifteen minutes. Matilda had earned herself five when she couldn’t stop laughing.

“Uh, shoo…” Jennifer lamely waved her hands at him. Whodini did not look up from his feast. Matilda bent down and picked up the scrap of paper he had dropped. She read the note, grinned, and handed it over. She was already planning on just how she’d use those extra tokens. The moment Jennifer had touched the paper, the bird took flight, leaving a trail of feathers and crumbs.

“What just happened?” Brian asked with a nervous laugh. “Did that owl just bring you a letter? Are you lot secretly a coven or something?”

“Yes.” Matilda and Hortensia said together. “All hail High Priestess Honey.” Matilda threw in a bow, arms splayed out in front of her. Jennifer rolled her eyes.

“I’ll be right back.” Jennifer sighed. “I have to make a phone call.”

“Ah, I thought she was a headmistress, not a priestess. My mistake.” Brian said as she made her way to the other side of the kitchen to the phone.

“He belongs to our school’s nurse.” Hortensia said.

“Your mom wasn’t kidding about your school being out of date then.”

“She’s not my mom.” Hortensia muttered.

“He’s her pet.” Matilda threw in to fill the uncomfortable silence.

“Ah, a bird lady.” He said with a forced smile. “Is she eccentric?”

“A little.”

“You know there’s a thing called a phone, Carol.” they heard Jennifer say into the receiver. Matilda could just imagine the voice on the other end asking, “Then why haven’t you used it?” More awkward silence filled the kitchen. “Now’s not really a good time. I have someone over.” A pause. “He’s a friend.” An exasperated sigh. “Yes, I have a man over.” She shut her eyes in annoyance “No, he’s not Mr. Trilby.” Another sigh. “No, Carol, that’s really not necc-” She pulled the receiver away and looked at it. She gave Brian a sympathetic smile before her face soured. “Carol’s coming. I don’t need her trying to be my parent!” Brian grinned.

“Are you going to hide me in the attic from mother?”

“She’s not my mother.” Jennifer scowled.

“Seems to be a touchy subject here today.” Brian said, shifting uncomfortably. “I’ll, uh, go look at the air conditioner now.” He picked an owl feather off the table and twirled it around in his fingers while Jennifer led him upstairs. Matilda followed them.

“You mind staying downstairs and letting Mrs. Rodgers inside when she gets here?” Jennifer asked once she noticed the girl's presence. Matilda frowned as her eyes lingered on the pair of them standing over the thermostat. She wasn’t a fan of the two of them alone together. Jennifer seemed to be under the delusion he was content with friendship, but Matilda had seen the way his eyes lingered on her. Worst of all was seeing how giddy she was when he was around. It made her feel sick to her stomach.

“What are you doing?” Matilda asked instead.

“Matilda.” Jennifer said.

“Just taking a look at the air ducts, nothing too fun.” Brian said as he unscrewed a ventilation plate. “You won’t miss anything.” He turned his attention back to Jennifer. “Do you have a ladder?”

“There’s one in the basement, I’ll get it.” Jennifer said. “Matilda, leave him alone. He’s doing us a favor.”

“What’s wrong with the vents? I can fix it, I just need to read about it.” Matilda insisted.

“You kids keep getting sick in the night, that’s what’s wrong.” Jennifer said. “Maybe something died in there and it’s blowing into your rooms, now leave him alone.”

“She’s fine.” Brian said. He flashed her a smile. “You want to come help? Think you can hold the flashlight for me?” Matilda shrugged and stepped forward. If it meant keeping an eye on them… Jennifer shook her head as she went downstairs.

“You think there’s something dead in there?” Matilda asked, face scrunched in disgust.

“Probably not. I think you’d smell it.” Brian said. He stuck his hand up and stood on his tip toes. “Well, I feel cold air blowing. Maybe it’s just dirty. Are you coughing? Is that what she meant by getting sick?”

“Throwing up.” Matilda said. Brian frowned.

“I don’t see how that’s from the vents…unless…” His frown deepened. “How old is this place?”

“Prehistoric.” Matilda said with a shrug. Brian’s lips twitched in a smile. May as well reinforce the idea of a haunted house.

“Oh, so you think there might be a dead dinosaur in there?” Matilda shuddered.

“Better than a live one.” Although the thought of a raptor mauling him did sound appealing. She took a step back just in case. Dinosaurs may be long extinct, but maybe there was a rabid possum. Her pleasant thoughts of Brian’s dismemberment were interrupted by a grunting sound coming up the stairs. She headed over to the landing to find Jennifer fighting a losing battle with the ladder. She focused her eyes and lifted it before Jennifer took herself out. Lord knew she was accident prone enough.

“Thank you.” Jennifer silently mouthed as she walked up the stairs with it. She leaned it against the wall.

Brian grabbed it and let out a surprised grunt. He tried again to lift it, but the ladder wouldn’t budge. Matilda grinned as she continued to apply force.

Let’s see how attractive she finds you now, she thought.

“How on earth did you get this up the stairs?” Brian grunted. He pulled and strained with all his might.

“Knock it off.” Jennifer hissed in her ear. Matilda released the power and Brian went flying backwards, sliding down the opposite wall. Jennifer glared at her.

“What? You told me to stop.” Matilda mumbled.

“Downstairs. Now.” Jennifer growled. “Sorry, um, my daughter had her foot on it.” Brian stared up at the girl who couldn’t weigh more than 25 kilograms. He looked unconvinced.

“Must be heavier than she looks?” Brian asked, taking Jennifer’s offered hand up. “Must be that large brain of hers.”

“Half IQ, half attitude.” Jennifer said with a roll of her eyes. She shot Matilda another warning glare and pointed down the hall. Matilda went.

She made a show of noisily stomping down the stairs, before sneaking back up on tiptoes. She watched them from around the corner for a few minutes until a voice in her ear made her jump.

“So who's the guy?”

Matilda spun to find Mrs. Rodger’s grinning. She groaned and shook her head.

“He’s awful!” Matilda complained.

“Give me a minute, then fill me in. I want all the details.” She watched as Mrs. Rodger’s made her presence known, talked for a few minutes and led Matilda back down the stairs.

The older woman made Hortensia, Matilda and herself a cup of tea before sitting down at the kitchen table.

“So?”

“She met him when we went camping.” Matilda said sullenly.

“She didn’t tell me this.” Mrs. Rodgers said with a frown. “Why do you say he’s awful?”

“He’s not awful.” Hortensia said with a roll of her eyes. “You just don’t like Miss Honey having a boyfriend.” Mrs. Rodgers eyebrows shot up.

“He’s not her boyfriend.” Matilda growled. Not if she could help it.

“But why is he awful?”

“He’s always around, inserting himself. She acts totally different around him. It’s annoying.” Matilda complained. Mrs. Rodgers chuckled. She listed off more and more things, but everything she said only seemed to make her…happier?

“Don’t laugh! I’m serious!”

“I’m sure you are, Matilda, but what you're describing isn’t a bad thing.”

“Yes! It is! It’s terrible! He’s ruining everything!” Matilda got up from the table and stormed into the backyard. No one followed her. Good.

She saw the punching bag. She imagined his stupid face. Matilda pulled her fist back and let it fly. She let out a howl of pain. She clutched her throbbing fist in her other hand and jumped up and down. How did Hortensia not hurt herself? She clenched and unclenched her fist a couple times as she paced around the backyard, until the pain subsided. Maybe she’d just paint him getting punched instead.

Matilda sat at her easel and thought about what she’d make. Punching him didn’t seem good enough. She smiled as she thought of a possum in the air ducts. Yes, that was better. She looked around for her paintbrush but she couldn’t find it. She frowned. She thought for sure she had left it right there. She got up and looked underneath. She winced when she noticed the splotches of red paint on the patio. She’d have to clean that up before Jenny saw it or else she’d be spending eternity in the kitchen corner. Her desire to keep this place clean was starting to border on obsession. She’d deal with it later though, for now…

Matilda resumed her hunt for her paintbrush. It wasn’t in her easel tray where she thought she had left it. It wasn’t under it. Or on the patio. Or in the grass. Finally, after fifteen minutes of searching, she gave up. Bummer, it was her favorite one. It was big and easy to grip, not like these tiny ones she constantly dropped every couple minutes. She dug through her supplies and pulled out a much smaller brush, dunked it in the closest paint color and proceeded to paint Brian getting mauled by a possum in the air vents. She frowned as she studied her work. It looked more like a stick figure and a dust bunny. Blood! That’s what her painting needed. She went to dip her brush in the red paint and froze. Where did her red jar go?

She groaned in frustration. Who had been moving her stuff?! She had left it right here an hour ago! First her brush and now her paint? Her eyes fell to the splotch of red on the patio. She hadn’t remembered ever painting over there. She got up and walked over to it before she bent down to examine it. She put her finger in it. It was still wet. That was weird. Her “giraffe” was completely dry. She looked ahead. Another splotch of paint. And another. Now she knew this wasn’t her.

Matilda followed the trail around the side of the house and through the gate to the front yard. Had someone taken her stuff to the rubbage? She followed the trail until she got to the driveway. There was her brush! And her red paint! She frowned. It was knocked over on its side, a trail of red paint was running down the driveway. Jenny was going to kill her. She bent down to pick up her stuff when she heard the front door open.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes. I’m just going to run to the hardware store- Oh, hey, what are you doing out here?” Brian asked. He came towards her and froze. Jenny came out, saw her and frowned. Then her eyes flicked to the car. Matilda saw her face go white followed by a bright shade of red. Overreacting about the mess as usual, Matilda thought, until Mrs. Rodgers came out as well.

“Matilda…what did you do?” Mrs. Rodgers asked solemnly. Matilda frowned.

“Nothing.” Matilda said. She followed their stares and blanched. Painted on the windshield of Jenny’s car were the letters S-L-A-G B-I-T-C-H in bright red paint. Matilda let the paint can and brush fall from her hands.

…

“I. DIDN’T. DO. IT!” Matilda yelled. She was on her feet glaring daggers at Dr. Reinfield. She was vaguely aware paintings and a copy of her diploma mounted to the wall had begun to rise in the air. Miss Honey snapped her fingers in front of her face. “PUMPKINS! PUMPKINS! PUMPKINS!”

“DROP THEM!” Miss Honey shouted. Matilda turned to stare down Jennifer. “Drop them.” Jennifer repeated. Matilda took a deep breath and released the power. The glass picture frames shattered as they hit the ground. Jennifer winced.

“Pumpkins?” Dr. Reinfield asked, ignoring the destruction of her office decor.

“It’s our safe word.” Jennifer explained. “If I’ve gone too far.”

“Some safe word.” Matilda scoffed. She must have yelled it at her fifty times last night. Her bottom still stung. Jennifer was so angry. She had actually spanked her! She couldn’t believe it! Matilda had refused to speak to her all last night and this morning.

“You were caught with the brush and paint in your hands!” Jennifer said for the umteenth time. “Why?” Matilda heard softly behind her. “You know what those kinds of insults mean to me.”

“AND YOU KNOW WHAT BEING ACCUSED OF THINGS I DIDN’T DO MEANS TO ME!” Matilda screamed at her. Jennifer flinched back.

“Matilda, let’s use your inside voice.” Dr. Reinfield said. “If there’s a problem, we’ll talk about it.”

“NO! I’M TIRED OF NO ONE LISTENING TO ME! WHAT GOOD IS A SAFEWORD IF YOU DON’T STOP?”

“Is this why you’re so angry?” Dr. Reinfield asked calmly.

“Yes.” Matilda said in her regular voice. Tears were streaming down her face.

“Matilda, kids don’t get safewords. What’s to keep them from using it to try and get out of a punishment?” Dr. Reinfield asked.

“Trust.” Matilda said softly.

“What about all the stuff you did at the daycare when you said it wasn’t you? How is Jennifer supposed to take your word for it? You have a history of acting out when something is bothering you. You’ve made it clear Jennifer’s relationship with Brian bothers you.”

“Then why do you keep seeing him if you know it bothers me?!” Matilda demanded. Jennifer stammered.

“Your mom has a right to keep seeing him if she wants. You don’t get to dictate who she can and can’t see. Especially if he’s done nothing to you. From what I've heard, he’s treated you better than your own father did.”

“That’s not a very high bar.” Matilda grumbled. “Fine! I did all those things at the daycare! Everything except smearing poop on the walls! Happy?”

“Trust takes time to build. It doesn’t happen overnight. You lied to us, Matilda. You told her you didn’t do those things. Now you’re saying you didn’t do this. How do you expect her to believe you?”

“But did I ever say the safeword?” Matilda asked. Jennifer’s shoulders slumped forward.

“No.” Jennifer said softly.

[CDfm]

While I was thrilled to see a new chapter and was again laughing through much of the chapter,  the ending was breaking my heart. I have been on both sides of situations like this where a child has claimed innocence and has a known history of similar behavior.  As a parent you want to believe them yet at the same time you can’t help but remember the past. Then you are faced with that circumstantial evidence which in this case is very damning.  At the same time my heart aches for Matilda. 
I still think you are doing a magnificent job on the story and I ask you to please leave things on a warmer lighter note.  Now I have to wait, who knows how long to feel better about Matilda. 

[SashaButters]

Why Carol wanted to spend the weekend with Matilda, Jennifer wasn’t sure. She had a feeling it had to do with Carol trying to play matchmaker. The woman was suspiciously overjoyed about her new friend and she kept offering Jennifer unsolicited advice on dealing with men. 

 

“Don’t let him sweet talk you into bed. Men will say anything.” Jennifer shuddered. She had no interest in getting into his bed. Or dating. All she wanted was for things to go back to the way they were. 

 

Life was better when it had been just her and Matilda in their little studio. She didn’t want the stressful job. Or a boyfriend. She was starting to not even want the house. Right now, she’d trade anything for Matilda to talk to her again and not look at her like Jennifer had strangled her favorite pet. It was three spanks. With her hand. She hadn’t even used a plastic spoon or a hair brush. She doubted it had even hurt. 

 

It was Matilda who had crossed the line. She was one of the few people who knew her past, knew what her aunt had made her do and then shamed her for it. Matilda may not have known all the details, but enough to know how to hurt her. 

 

Jennifer would have stopped if Matilda would have apologized. Instead, she had doubled down and used the safeword. It was supposed to make her stop. Make her think. It was supposed to keep her from becoming her aunt. Instead, it had only infuriated Jennifer. Now her stomach had been in knots since their appointment. 

 

Had she done the right thing? She was so certain at the time Matilda had only thrown it out because she knew she was in trouble, but her words kept replaying in her head. She had never done it before. Not even when Jennifer had been teasing her at the lake. 

 

“I’ll settle for getting my ducts clean.” Jennifer mumbled. 

 

“Yes, I’m sure he’d love to clean your ducts.” Carol said.

 

“Uh, okay?” 

 

“With his pole.”

 

“What?”

 

“Oh, my sweet summer child.” Carol groaned. 

 

“I don’t get it.” 

 

“He wants to put his penis in your vag-”

 

“Okay. Okay. I get it.” Jennifer said, cutting her off. “The topic of dating has never once come up, you know.” 

 

“I’m not talking about dating. I’m talking about a little Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am.” 

 

“I’m not sleeping with him.” Jennifer said exasperated. 

 

“I know.” Carol said softly before chuckling. “You can’t even handle talking about it.”

 

“Then why are you telling me all this?”

 

“Because you can be a little naive sometimes. You’ve been throwing the word ‘friend’ out quite a bit. Men are different, Jen. I don’t want to see you get hurt.” 

 

“You could at least trust me a little. I’m not a slag. I’m not going to jump into his bed just because he asks.” 

 

“Jennifer, that’s not what I’m saying. If you want to jump in his bed and get your ducts cleaned, by all means, I’m not judging.” Jennifer scowled. “But I know that’s not what you want. You may see this as a friendship, but he might not. I’m just trying to prepare you for the possibility, so if he does make a move, it won’t come as such a shock.” 

 

“Nothing to worry about there. Matilda’s trying her damn hardest to scare him off.” Jennifer said with a sigh. “You know she’s been trying to make the house look haunted.” Carol snorted. “She’s been opening and slamming doors with her powers. The time before last he was over she opened up all the cutlery drawers behind him. Nearly gave the poor guy a heart attack.” 

 

“Poor bloke. He has no idea what he’s getting himself in for.”

 

“I’m perfectly capable of scaring him off myself.” Jennifer mumbled. 

 

“So…?” Carol said leaning in close. Jennifer gave her a puzzled look. “Do you fancy him?” Jennifer stammered for a moment before averting her eyes and shrugging. Carol beamed at her. “It’s not a no.” 

 

“He’s…nice.” Jennifer said.

 

“I hope you have higher standards than ‘nice’.” Carol frowned. Jennifer pursed her lips together and nodded. “Then spill.” 

 

Before Jennifer could open her mouth, small footsteps approached. They both turned their heads to find Matilda standing in the doorway with her backpack slung across her shoulders looking anywhere but at Jennifer. 

 

“You ready?” Carol asked. Matilda nodded her head and swayed a little on her feet. She could see her daughter struggle underneath the weight. 

 

“I hope you packed clothes and not just books.” Jennifer said. Matilda remained silent and pursed her lips in obvious annoyance. “Nothing fun.” Jennifer said as she met Carol’s eyes. 

 

“Yes. Nothing fun. Got it.” Carol said avoiding her eyes.

 

“I mean it! She’s grounded!” Jennifer said. 

 

“Don’t worry.” Carol said. “I’ll be the most boring grandma possible.” 

 

Grandma? She looked up to see a mischievous glint in the woman’s eyes. Jennifer’s stomach felt uneasy. She already had done something, was about to do something, or will do something. 

 

“Oh, my god, what did you pack, kid?” Carol said as she lifted her backpack. 

 

“Stuff to do.” Matilda mumbled. 

 

At least Matilda was under the impression she wasn’t about to have fun, that meant Carol hadn’t promised her anything. 

 

“How about you narrow it down to just two books?” Carol asked. She unzipped Matilda’s back pack and began to heft out half the science fiction section from the library. Carol chuckled as Matilda trudged back upstairs with a large stack of books floating in the air around her. 

 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to take the other one as well?” Carol asked and winked. “You two could have the house to yourselves, in case you did want to, you know, get your ducts cleaned.” 

 

Jennifer’s right eyelid twitched. 

 

“Hortensia has, believe it or not, become the easier one lately.” Jennifer said, trying her best to ignore Carol’s innuendo. “When we aren’t fighting over every little thing. I am not looking forward to the 17th of August.” 

 

“What’s that?” 

 

Jennifer learned in and whispered conspiritoraly. “21 days.” Carol chuckled. “I’m serious! This place is a warzone. She’s happy. She’s angry. She’s crying. She’s hungry. She’s angry again, and it isn’t even breakfast yet! I am not looking forward to Matilda becoming a teenager. She’s cranky enough as it is.” 

 

They all had been irritable this last week. Jennifer noticed she had been much more easily triggered by the things around her she would have normally overlooked, like crumbs on the floor or the kids rooms being a mess. She knew it was going to take time not to flinch whenever she saw something out of order in this house. She rubbed at the back of her head as it prickled in remembrance of the pain of getting yanked by the hair. 

 

It wasn’t just her either. Hortensia, while she had been making tremendous progress with her out of control temper, had taken a step back. Matilda, who was still refusing to speak to her unless she absolutley had to, hadn’t been as patient with her either. To make matters worse, all of them seemed to be struck with headaches and nausea in the morning. 

 

She had mentioned all this to Brian in passing last week, and he seemed adamant on looking at her Air Conditioning unit. She was fine with calling someone in, but he seemed determined to fix it himself.  

 

“Men.” Carol had said with a roll of her eyes. Jennifer found his concern sweet, but she had no idea what her air conditioner had to do with it. “Let him play handyman. Agatha was complaining of headaches too, maybe he’s onto something. Maybe there’s mold in there.” 

 

Whatever it was, she hoped someone could get to the bottom of it soon. She was sick of living in flashback hell. She was even on the verge of asking for a higher dose of medication, and she was right there with Hortensia. Jennifer hated feeling drugged. She felt a small pang of guilt for what she was putting the girl through, but dear lord, what a difference. 

 

“Ready, kiddo?” Carol asked as Matilda slowly drug herself down the stairs. Matilda shrugged looking sullen and morose. Carol turned back to Jennifer and flashed her another suspicious grin. “Left you some stuff in your handbag.” Jennifer’s stomach flipped. She narrowed her eyes. “Better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it.” Jennifer didn’t want to know.  

 

Jennifer gave Matilda a hug, who didn’t return the embrace. No surprise there. “Behave yourself.” Jennifer hissed. Matilda ignored her and headed to the front door. 

 

“Have fun.” Carol said with a wink. Jennifer shook her head. 

 

“HE IS NOT CLEANING MY DUCTS!” Jennifer yelled out as they made their way out the front door. 

 

“Umm, isn’t that what I’m here for?” a voice asked. Jennifer spun and found Brian on her front porch. She could hear Carol cackling from across the lawn.

 

“Yeah, Jennifer! Isn’t that what he’s there for?” She could feel her face begin to flush. 

 

“I’m early.” He said with a guilty smile. “The kids wanted to come.” 

“Th-that’s okay.” Jennifer stammered as her stomach gave a nervous jolt. Carol’s speech had made her paranoid. She held the door open for all them as they made their way inside. She wasn’t sure what Carol had meant when she said he might “make a move”. Visions of having her butt groped and a stray hand wandering up her thigh began to plague her mind. Jennifer frowned as she stared at him. She had never got that impression from him before, but now she was second guessing herself. What if Matilda felt something off him she couldn’t, and that was the reason she didn’t like him? 

 

“For you.” he said with a grin as he handed her a shopping back. She peeked inside and gave him a confused and nervous smile. Maybe she had read one too many romance novels, but she thought men who wanted to woo a woman brought roses and chocolate. Brian brought smoke detectors. She let out a soft chuckle. 

 

“I’m going to install them in everyone’s room.” 

 

“Is there something wrong with our smoke alarms?” Jennifer asked. Brian shook his head.

 

“Carbon Monoxcide detectors.” Brian said. “I’d feel better knowing you were all safe, especially since you said the girls were getting sick in the night. It made me think how I’ve been running my A/C every night.”

 

“So have we, it’s been so humid this summer.” Jennifer said. Her heart was beginning to beat faster. 

 

“I imagine you all have air vents in your room?” She nodded. “And when did the kids start acting funny?”

 

“Matilda hasn’t been herself since we moved in.” Jennifer said with a frown. She had been more defiant, and crabby. And so had Jennifer. She had been having so many more flashbacks than usual. She had chalked it up to being back in the place it had all come from. 

 

“Would that cause a kid to wet the bed who didn’t before?” Jennifer asked.

 

“Ah, Matilda. Hazel too. I hope they grow out of it soon.” Jennifer didn’t correct him. He shrugged. “It can cause muscle weakness, so maybe?” 

 

Could this really be the answer? 

 

“So how long would it take to know? If there was carbon monoxide in the house?” He looked at the box and shrugged again. 

 

“As soon as it’s hooked up.” 

 

“Thank you, I never would have thought of this.” She looked at the bag of alarms and smiled as she held them tightly in her fist. This beat chocolate and roses anyday. “My aunt was a deeply paranoid woman. I doubt she ever let anyone in to service the unit in the last twenty years.” 

 

“Is that where you got the house from? I thought this place was large for a teacher. I mean- no offense.” he said in a panic. “I just thought it was a house a doctor or lawyer would have.” Jennifer chuckled.

 

“No, you’re right. It was my father’s, and yes, he was a doctor.” 

 

“Oh, so you grew up here?” Jennifer winced and nodded. 

 

“So if your father owned the house, how did your aunt get a hold of it?” 

 

“It’s complicated.” She said softly. “My father died when I was little and I was left in the care of my aunt.” 

 

“So his sister?” He asked as she led him up the stairs. 

 

“No, my mother’s step sister. She was already living with us when he died.” Jennifer gritted her teeth at the memory. 

 

“I don’t like her. She’s scary.” 

 

“Looks can be deceiving, Bumblebee.” 

 

“Looks hadn’t been deceiving, daddy.” she mumbled sadly. Brian spun his head around and stared at her eye brows raised. “What?”

 

“Did you just call me, daddy?” 

 

“N-no!” Jennifer’s face began to flush as she stammered. Brian’s grin widened as he bent over and clutched his chest.

 

“I get it. I’m old. You don’t have to rub it in.” He teased. 

 

“You’re not old.” Jennifer giggled. His smile fell for a second. 

 

“I’m eleven years older than you.” He said softly as they climbed the remaining steps. 

 

“I know.” Jennifer said. She took a breath and asked. “Does that bother you?” 

 

He opened his mouth to answer, but Hortensia’s sudden emergence from her room cut him off. 

 

“We need to get in there soon, so you might want to hide anything you don’t want him to see.” Jennifer warned her. Hortensia shrugged.

 

“Nothing in there.” 

 

“What about your trash can?” she said softly. Hortensia paused for moment before turning and back tracking the way she had come. 

 

“Girl stuff.” Jennifer explained. 

 

“Don’t lie, it’s drugs.” Brian grinned. “You just don’t want to share.” Jennifer chuckled. 

 

“Thankfully their a little young to start worrying about that.” 

 

“Really? Because I distinctly remember you telling me a story about someone getting high.” He said with a chuckle. “Blaming it on the kids, Jenny, really?” 

 

“No! Definitely not!” She said, but couldn’t help but laugh. He had a way of making anything seem funny. “I’m never getting high again.” 

 

“So should we start in Matilda’s room since she’s not here? Gives you a chance to hide anything you don’t want me to see in your room.” Jennifer laughed again. 

 

“I have nothing to hide in my room.” 

 

“No adult paraphinalia laying around?” 

 

“No, I don’t own any ‘adult paraphanalia’.” 

 

“No handcuffs attached to the bed frame?” 

 

“Why would I have handcuffs? I’m not a cop.” He seemed to be trying to hold back a laugh. Jennifer gave him a questioning look.

 

“Well you better go check, because if I see anything, I will tease you relentlessly.” He said with a grin. Jennifer let out a nervous laugh before heading to her bedroom, visions of bra’s hanging on doorknobs began swirling in her head. “Yeah, you hide those handcuffs!” 

 

“Don’t make me flog you!” She heard him trying to unsuccessfully stifle a laugh. “Cause…you know…handcuffs…police…flogging.” she said lamely. His face began to glow a bright red behind his closed fist before he began to cackle. “What?” 

 

“Nothing.” he said through fits of laughter. “It’s nothing, you’re funny. That’s all.” She gave him a suspicious look before she went back to look around her room. Once she was confident all underwear was safely placed in its drawer and made sure none of her aunts sex toys had somehow fallen through the ceiling and landed in the middle of the mattress, she returned to find him setting up the ladder in Matilda’s room. 

 

She watched him work for a few minutes and handed him a screwdriver as necessary. It wasn’t until Hortensia came in the room followed by a hoard of other children did she snap her attention back. 

 

“My hands are itchy.” Hazel complained. Jennifer looked and saw her hands were cracked and scabbed. 

 

“Oh, sweetheart, what happened?” She knelt down and examined the scabs. 

 

“We were hiking yesterday. I think she’s having some kind of allergic reaction to a plant.” Brian said, eyes still on the ceiling. Jennifer’s heart felt a pang at the words “allergic reaction”. She knew that one all too well. 

 

“Tens, can you get my purse from downstairs? I have some medicatied lotion that will help with this.”

 

“Sure.” The older girl grunted and sprinted down the hall before returning a few seconds later. Jennifer set her purse on the ground and opened it. There was a strip of something inside she hadn’t placed there. Confused, she pulled it out and examined it, only for Brian to begin to laugh from up above her. 

 

“Okay, Miss-I-Have-No-Adult-Paraphanalia.” Brian flashed a teasing grin from his spot on the ladder. Jennifer began to stammer.

 

“Wow Miss Honey, if you wanted the house alone, you could have just said so.” Hortensia and the boys began to giggle. 

 

“They’re not mine!” Jennifer gasped as her eyes caught sight of the Durex logo.

 

“They were in your purse.” Hortensia snorted. They laughed again. She stuffed them back in her purse, and felt for a bottle. She pulled it out, winced and stuffed it back in. Not it. Not it. Not it. 

 

She had forgotten Carol’s warning of “I left you something.” 

Condoms. Carol had left her condoms.

 

And she had just pulled them out in front of everyone. Worse. She was sending the completely wrong message. She looked up too find Brian grinning down at her. She swallowed the lump that had found its way into her throat. 

 

“So that’s where you keep the handcuffs.” 

…

 

“Your acting’s impressive. Good job.” Mrs. Rodgers said as she handed over an ice cream cone. Matilda accepted it and grinned. She loved the zoo. They had driven straight over from Jennifer’s house, laughing the whole time. They had seen snakes, lizards, 7 different species of primates, giraffes, elephants, lions, and one snow leopard. Her favorite had been the penguins. She loved the way they waddled. 

 

“It was the books, wasn’t it?” Matilda asked as she lapped at her icecream. Even if she knew they’d be going out and doing stuff, she’d still liked to have been able to bring more than two books. 

 

“It’s a little too good there. No wonder your mom doesn’t believe you.” Mrs Rodgers said. Matilda scowled. 

 

“I try not to lie as much.” Matilda mumbled. “Just when I have to.” 

 

“So going to the zoo was a ‘have to’?” Carol teased. 

 

Yes. Yes it was.

 

“You told me to lie.” Matilda said. 

 

“I said don’t tell her where we’re going. I didn’t say put on a show called ‘I’m About to Have the Worst Weekend of My lIfe.’” 

 

Fair enough. 

 

Matilda shrugged and resumed eating her ice cream. 

 

“Let’s sit over here on the bench for a bit. I’m tired.”

 

“Mom knows I’m at the zoo, doesn’t she?” Matilda asked after a minute of silence as she sat watching a peacock stroll through the main gate.  

 

“Yes.” 

 

“Did she send you to talk to me about Brian?” Matilda asked glumly. 

 

“No.” Carol said. “It’s me that wants to talk to you about Brian.” Matilda remained silent as she began to lick more franticly. “I’ve heard from reliable sources you’re good at reading people.” Matilda shrugged again. “But you wouldn’t give me a solid reason you didn’t like him, so I wanted to ask you again, just us. I want you to be honest, please, can you do that?” Matilda sighed and nodded. “Is there a reason you don’t like Brian? Did he do something?” Matilda sat quietly in deep thought. “Or is this about Jennifer dating?”

 

“No.” Matilda said sadly. 

 

“No what?” 

 

“He didn’t do anything.” 

 

“So why don’t you like him?” 

 

“She said it would just be us.” Matilda mumbled. She watched a drop of ice cream run down the side of her fist before she licked the sticky trail off. 

 

“But your okay with Hortensia?” 

 

“That’s different.”

 

“How’s it different?” Matilda struggled for a bit to find a way to explain it.

 

“Sometimes there’s this black tar feeling.” 

 

“I’m not following, sorry.” 

 

“When I’m around Jenny and Hortensia, I can feel it. Not always, but it’s there. Like Jenny, it’s usually this  lavender, with red and bits of blue. And Hortensia, yellow and green and white. But there’s this blackness that orbits them.”

 

“What do you think it is?” Matilda shook her head. 

 

“I don’t know, but it’s so similar I figure it was caused by the same thing. I just know it’s strongest when Hortensia has her fits and Jenny her flash backs. It makes me feel sick.”

 

“So you think that’s the cause of them?” 

 

“Maybe.” Matilda said with a shrug. 

 

“So what’s this got to do with Brian?” 

 

“Nothing.” Matilda said with a sigh. 

 

“Are you sure? That was a heavy sigh.” Mrs. Rodgers asked, looking doubtful. “What do you get off her when he’s around?” Matilda gritted her teeth. “Go on. Tell me. I see it on your face. ” Matilda rolled her eyes.

 

“It’s clear and bright.” Matilda said quietly. 

 

“Then why do you sound like you just lost your best friend?” Matilda shot her a pained look. “This doesn’t mean you lose her, lass.” 

 

“Yes it does.” Matilda choked out, tears now stinging her eyes. Mrs. Rodgers wrapped her free arm around Matilda’s shouders. 

 

“No, it doesn’t. It’s not you or him, Matilda. This is a good thing. It means she’s healing.”

 

“She told me I was enough.” Matilda sniffled. 

 

“No one person can do or be everything a person needs. Sometimes when you love someone, you have to realise your a piece of the puzzle. You happen to be a very big piece of the puzzle for her, but you can’t be everything. Someday Jenny isn’t going to be everything for you, you’re going to grow up, maybe you’ll fall in love-” Mrs. Rodgers chuckled as Matilda made a disgusted face. “I wouldn’t worry about this too much. It’s only a crush, but it’s a milestone for her.” Matilda gave her a confused look. “Look, I can’t promise nothing will come of this, but in my own experiences with men, once he realizes she’s locked down tighter than the Queen at Buckingham Palace, he’ll go sniffing somewhere else.” 

 

“I don’t want her to get hurt.” Matilda whispered.

 

“That’s unfortunately always a possibility, there’s risk involved when you let someone into your life.” They were quiet for a bit as Matilda finished her ice cream. 

 

“Jenny has been through some terrible things.” Mrs. Rodgers said as they stopped in front of the tortoise enclosure. 

 

“I know.” Matilda said sadly. 

 

“You only know part of the story.” Mrs. Rodgers said staring ahead at the exhibit. 

 

“What’s the other part?” Matilda asked with a frown. How could her mom’s life possibly been any worse? Mrs. Rodgers shook her head. 

 

“The point i’m trying to get at is I know your mom would never date if she knew you didn’t approve. Would you, for me, give her your blessing?” Matilda scowled. 

 

“Why do you want her to date him so bad?” 

 

“It’s not about him, it’s just the fact she’s willing to try. ”

 

“Why? What’s the big deal?” 

 

“Terrible people did terrible things to your mom growing up. She lives with one foot in the present and one foot in the past. You’ve noticed, haven’t you? You called it the black tar feeling.” 

 

Matilda had more than felt it. She could see it in her eyes. Hear it on the nights she screamed in her sleep. The way she trailed off mid conversation. Matilda nodded in understanding. This was the blackness.

 

“You really changed her life, Matilda, don’t ever doubt her love for you or your importance to her. No boyfriend is going to change that. Ever.”

 

“I know why your doing this.” Matilda said softly. 

 

“Oh?”

 

“You want my mom to date because you want someone to be able to take care of her if you die.” Matilda blurted out. “Because of the cancer.” Mrs. Rodgers stammered for a bit. “You won’t.” She stared at Matilda a moment. “Not until your 87 and get hit by a car.” Mrs. Rodgers smiled sadly for a moment.

 

“You had me there for a minute. How could you possibly know that?” Matilda shrugged. 

 

“How do I know what 3,476 times 486 is?” Mrs Rodgers studied her face.

 

“You are joking, right?” 

 

“I guess you’ll just have to keep living and find out.” Matilda said with a straight face. Mrs. Rodgers playfully shoved her head. 

 

“I don’t have cancer. I just want her to be happy is all, she deserves it.” Mrs. Rodgers said as they walked over to the next enclosure hand in hand. 

 

“And you think a boyfriend is going to make her happy?”

 

“No, but love might.” 

 

“That sounds really corny.” Matilda said flatly. Mrs. Rodgers chuckled.

 

“Yeah, it did. I’m sorry, I forgot who I’m talking to. I can’t get away with fairy tails with you.” She thought about it for a moment and resumed. “The scientific pros of having a husband, uhh, a greater sense of secuity, more financial stability…”

 

“Could her ‘Greater Sense of Security’ not already have three kids?” Matilda grumbled. Mrs. Rodgers chuckled.

 

“So that’s what’s eating you.” Matilda shrugged. “Well, I don’t know what his kids are like, but you get along with Hortensia, don’t you? Not many people do.”

 

“I told you, she’s different. She’s no help anyway, she likes them.” Matilda rolled her eyes. 

 

“Here’s the thing, more likely than not, they’ll go to dinner a few times, spend a little time together without a hoard of children, and things will fizzle out on their own. You don’t even know for sure if he likes her back.” 

 

“He’s cleaning her ducts for her on a Friday night.” 

 

“Yeah, good point.” Mrs. Rodgers said. “Maybe this idea will cheer you up. What if he takes her dancing?” Matilda stared at her. 

 

“How’s that going to cheer me up?” 

 

“Would you feel safe dancing with Jennifer?” Mrs. Rodgers asked. Matilda snorted and shook her head.

 

“She’ll step on his feet.”

 

“Give him a bloody nose.”

 

“A black eye.” 

 

“Break a few ribs.” 

 

Matilda giggled at the thought. Maybe she didn’t need to sabotage this after all. 

 

“Oh, I know a dance she could do.” Matilda said. 

 

“What’s that?” 

 

“The nut cracker.”  Mrs. Rodgers snorted. “Do you really not have cancer?” Matilda asked after a minute.

 

“No. I’m still in remission.” She frowned for a moment. “Can you sense it or something? Should I get checked?” 

 

“No, I just noticed you get a lot of mail from the cancer society and guessed.” She felt a hand lightly smack her in the back of the head.

 

“You trying to give me a heart attack, lass?” 

 

“Sorry,” Matilda said with a guilty grin. 

 

They enjoyed the zoo for a few more hours, but something Mrs. Rodgers said was bothering her. 

 

“You said terrible people.” Matilda said out loud as they got back in the car. Mrs. Rodgers gave her a puzzled look. “Earlier, you said terrible people did terrible things to my mom. As in more than one person.” She could see Mrs. Rodgers lips turn inward and almost disappear. 

 

“I misspoke.” Mrs. Rodgers said. 

 

“Was there someone else, besides Miss Trunchbull?” 

 

“No Matilda, I just misspoke.” Matilda could tell by the way her hands clenched the steering wheel she hadn’t.

 

“Is that the other part of the story?” Matilda asked. 

 

“Forget I said anything.” 

 

“Mrs. Rodgers-”

 

“No Matilda!” Mrs. Rodgers said so sternly Matilda quieted at once. “It’s just a hunch, it’s just…a terrible hunch.” 

 

“Worse than what Miss Trunchbull did to her?” Mrs. Rodgers gave her a pained smile. 

 

“I only know what I saw.” Mrs. Rodgers said. “And before you ask- no, I’m not telling you. I never even told Jenny. I’ll probably take this to my grave.” 

 

“Thirty more years is a long time to keep a secret.” Matilda said. 

 

“Thirty more years? Oh, right, 87. Got to make sure I look both ways. Those busses.”

 

“A double decker.” 

 

“A double decker is what does me in? Oof.” Mrs. Rodgers said with a faint smile. “So will you let this play out on its own?” 

 

“Fine.” Matilda grumbled. “But only cause I want to see how many bones of his she breaks.”