bedwetting Afternoon in the Chokey (Updated 4-17-24)

[BabySofia]

I like the way you used Hortensia here. I really am enjoying this tale, glad to see an update today! ?

[SashaButters]

Jenny took a deep breath in an attempt to calm the butterflies swarming in her stomach. Both her and Matilda stood in front of Jenny’s childhood home the following Saturday, buckets of cleaning supplies in hand. She hadn’t been inside in years, save the one time Matilda had dragged her inside and gotten themselves stuck in a closet all evening. Already the childhood memories she wished to burn from her mind began to pour in.

“Ready?” Matilda asked. Jenny felt a small hand wrap itself around hers and squeeze.

“Ready.” Jenny said, reassured by the reminder that she wasn’t alone. She pushed the door open, surprised vandals and squatters hadn’t had their way with the place as they walked inside and set the buckets down. “What do you think?” Jenny asked as they slowly walked from room to room checking the place out.

“There are a lot of rooms, it’s even bigger than my parent's house.” Matilda said wide-eyed.

“I wonder what she did with my old room.” Jenny said as they went upstairs. “Probably tore it to pieces when I said I wasn’t coming back home.” She led Matilda down the hall and stopped at a closed door. “Let’s see what disaster awaits behind door number one.” She opened the door and let out a gasp of surprise.

“It’s…” Matilda started to say but stopped.

“In one piece.” Jenny said. She slowly walked around the room taking it all in. The bookcases, the desk, her old white bed frame. It was all still here and…Lucy! She went to the bed and picked up a doll wearing a white dress and hugged it for a moment before setting it back down. She stared fondly at the other knickknacks placed neatly on the shelves. “This would be perfect for you.”

“It doesn’t look like anyone’s been in here in years.” Matilda said, running a hand along the bed frame before wiping the dust on her pants before perking up, “Let’s look at the master bedroom.”

They left the room, leaving the door open behind them as they made their way to the master bedroom.

“That’s umm… well, it’s..” Matilda said staring ahead at a complete loss for words.

“It’s coming down is what it is!” Jenny said with a grimace as they both stared at the large tapestry of The Trunchbull hanging over the large four-poster bed.

“Do we throw it away or burn it?” Matilda asked as she looked around. “She really liked pictures of herself.”

"No kidding." Jenny said with a wince as she looked around. "I haven't been in this room since I was your age." She pressed down on the mattress a few times. "I used to sneak in early Sunday mornings before the Trunchbull would wake up, and sit in my father's lap while he read the paper. He was the one who taught me how to read. He loved reading, and always instilled in me the value of education. He would have loved you. I'm sure of it."

Matilda didn't know how to respond, so she stood by fidgeting awkwardly as Jennifer seemed to stare off into space. She wasn't sure if Jenny was thinking of happy memories or sad. The emotions were too complex to pull apart and decipher. Whatever it was, it was overwhelming to Matilda. Just as Matilda figured she should leave her, she seemed to snap out of whatever trance she was in.
"Of course, once he died, I was never allowed in here again. Along with a long list of other things." She said more under her breath than to Matilda.

"Can I?" Matilda asked, pointing up to the tapestry. She made a ripping motion with her hands as Jennifer stared blankly at her.

"No, I'll just throw it out later. I don't want you hurting yourself trying."
Matilda scowled. Ever since the incident with the glass door, Jennifer had been reluctant, almost even fearful of letting her use her powers. Matilda had even started wondering if Jennifer thought by not letting it out, they would go away on their own. Matilda didn't want it to go away. They had become a part of her, and not using them made her feel trapped inside her skin. She could feel the power inside of her bouncing around, begging for release. It was like an itch she couldn't scratch. She imagined it akin to something like having wings that were bound or perfectly good legs and never being allowed to walk. Matilda wanted little more than to give it fresh air, but it was always the same.

"No, you'll hurt yourself"

"No, you'll make yourself too tired."

She needed to get her mind off it, or the pressure building inside her would drive her insane. It had been nearly a week since she had tormented Mr. Larson and made the lights blow. They were here to clean and snoop, so that's what she would do. Matilda got on her hands and knees and peered underneath the large bed. Jackpot! She crawled underneath.

"Matilda, what are you doing under there?" Jennifer called.

"Looking for secrets." came the reply.

"I don't think you're going to find anything under there but dust bunnies."

"Then what's this?" Matilda asked triumphantly, shoving the shoebox out by Jennifer's feet before crawling out herself.
"Look at you, you're covered in dust. When I said we were going to sweep, I meant with a broom, not with you." Matilda ignored her while Jennifer smacked the dirt off the girl's clothes. "So what's in the box?"

“I'm not sure." Matilda stared blankly at the contents. There were several strangle shaped things inside. Some twisted into odd shapes, some had bumps and some were smooth. She was about to reach for one when the cover of the shoebox slammed down. She looked up at Jennifer confused, who was now sporting a grimace before letting out a nervous laugh.

"I think that's enough snooping in here for you."

"What? Why?" Matilda said indignantly.

"There are things in here that are too inappropriate. Why don't you go start emptying the fridge?"

"But Je-"

"Out! Out out out."

"Okay, okay stop pushing!"

"I'm just going to do a quick sweep of the room, then I'll help you downstairs. Oh, and Mrs. Rodger's will be here soon anyway. Why don't you let her in once she gets here. "

"Fine." Matilda grumbled, before leaving the room.

Once Jennifer was sure Matilda was gone, she looked under the bed to make sure nothing else was underneath. She felt dismayed when she saw there was. Wasn't one box enough? She tried to crawl underneath the bed, but found she wouldn't fit. Then she got on top of the bed and tried reaching down between the wall and the headboard. She could just reach the tip, but couldn't quite bring it up without squishing her arm. So she slid it forward as much as she could. Now lying on her stomach over the edge of the mattress, she reached as far as she could, just touching the edge once again. Oh, c'mon! Just a little farther!

Jennifer was vaguely aware of Matilda yelling something up to her, but all her focus was on disposing of any evidence of her aunts extracurricular activities, she hadn't heard the footsteps working their way up the stairs.
Just a little more! She inched her body further over the side of the bed, hands now connecting with the shoebox underneath. She dragged it out, but when she tried to pull herself back up, she found she couldn't. Instead of pulling herself up, she found herself sliding further down. She let out a frightened yell, dropping the second box and spilling its contents while she tried desperately to grasp onto the comforter. Too late.

Jennifer felt herself somersaulting over the side of the bed and onto the floor with a loud crash. Now dazed and sore, she clutched the blankets and tried to pull herself up once again, only now to slip on a pile of magazines and send the first shoebox, which had been resting only a foot from the side, down on top of her.

"Jennifer, are you alright? I heard a crash. Do you need he-" Mrs. Rodger's stopped mid-sentence as she took in the sight. Jennifer sat there looking stunned.

"Mom, are you okay? Did you-" Matilda froze too. She looked down at her feet where a purple phallic shaped cylinder had come to rest.

"Don't touch that!" Miss Honey cried. Instead, Matilda pointed at it and wordlessly commanded it to rise in the air. She looked from it back to Jennifer sitting in a pile of various shaped objects and raised an eyebrow.

"Mom, if you wanted some alone time, you could have just said so." Matilda watched with some amusement at Jenny's ever-changing face. It seemed to change color like a flickering Christmas light, going from white, to bright red, before finally settling on a ghostly gray.

"I-I'm not- I wasn't!" Jennifer babbled.

"You're sitting in a pile of dirty magazines and adult toys." Matilda said, mentally flipping the switch and making it vibrate loudly before turning it off and letting it fall to the floor. She saw the dismayed and disappointed look on Miss Honey’s face. She hated when Matilda knew what adult things were for. "Zinnia left hers out on her dresser once and caught me using it as a back massager." Matilda frowned for a moment. "I don't know why they're only made for adult backs though. When I asked her she said it was because Daddy’s hands were too small to satisfy her, so sometimes she needed something extra.”

Miss Rodger’s let out a snort before quickly stifling it at the scathing look she received from Jennifer.

“Yes, well, Miss Trunchbull must have had a lot of kinks in her back.” Jennifer said before clearing her throat. “Please go back downstairs and get started in the kitchen while we clean this up.”

“Well, she certainly had a lot of kinks, but I’m not sure about them being in her back.” Miss Rodger’s said once Matilda was out of earshot.

Jennifer shuddered as she began shoving magazines blindly back into the box. The less she saw the better. She didn’t want to know what her aunt had been into. Miss Rodger’s on the other hand seemed amused flipping through the pages.

“Bondage, that doesn’t surprise me one bit. You notice they're all women?”
“I’m trying not to notice anything.” Jennifer replied. She had scooped up the last of the pile when a few Polaroids fell to the floor. She bent down, picked them up and froze. Jennifer could feel the color begin to drain from her face. The room began to sway. Her throat constricted. No! No! No! No! No! No! She let out a strangled whimper.

Mrs. Rodger’s looked up and frowned.

“Jennifer, what is it?” but all the woman could do was shake her head as a silent tear began to fall. Mrs. Rodger’s came over and stared at the pictures still clutched in Jenny’s hand. “Oh shit.” she muttered.

…

When Matilda opened the fridge, she let out a dry, involuntary retch. The food inside had long since spoiled and bugs were crawling in and out. If there was ever an excuse to use her powers, this was it. She held the trash bag open and one by one, sent the contents of the fridge hovering into the bag. See, her powers could be useful! It felt so good to let them out. Sure, she was growing tired alarmingly quick, but that was just because she was out of practice. By the time the fridge was empty, Matilda had filled three gallon trash bags and felt like she had just run a marathon. She felt very weak as she stumbled out of the kitchen and towards the couch. She just needed to sit down, and she’d be fine.

Matilda was just about to collapse onto the sofa when she felt an alarming pang in her chest. Her legs began to wobble. She quickly sat and gripped the sofa. What was this? Was this from over using her powers? There was another feeling. Terror. No, sadness. No, hate! She wanted to yell. It was too much! This had Jennifer written all over it. She wanted to go to her, but found she couldn’t move. Just when Matilda thought she couldn’t take it anymore, the feeling all but disappeared. Matilda sat there, panting and shaking as she heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

She tried to put on a smile, but dropped it when she saw the serious look on the two women’s faces.

“What happened?” Matilda asked Mrs. Rodger’s as she busied herself in the kitchen making everyone tea. All Matilda knew was Jenny was nearly catatonic, and Mrs. Rodger’s had called the police.

Mrs. Rodger’s bit her lip before peeking out into the hallway. “We found some things we thought we should hand over to the police.”

“What? Like a gun?” Matilda asked.

“No, not a gun.”

“Matilda! Would you come over here?” they heard from the living room. Matilda perked up as she rushed to Jenny’s side.

“Mom, are you okay?” Matilda asked. Miss Honey smiled weakly. She still looked very pale and shaken. “What happened?”

“Sweetie, would you do me a favor?” Matilda nodded her head eagerly. What did she need? A blanket? Some water? Tea? A snack? “Would you go up to my old room and lie down for a nap?” Matilda scowled. A nap? She was telling her to go take a nap?

“Mom, really?”

“Please?” Miss Honey asked. Matilda sighed. She looked desperate. “I’ll come wake you up later, so please, just stay up there. You don’t even have to take a nap if you really don’t want to. You can read a book, I have several.”

“Okay.” Matilda sighed.

“Thank you.” Miss Honey gave her a tight embrace. Matilda was halfway to the stairs when she stopped and stared at the wall.

 

“That’s a big spider.” She could see Jenny flinch and turn around. Matilda took a step closer to examine it. “It has a cotton ball just like Charlotte.”

“Matilda, get away from that! That’s not a cotton ball, that’s an egg sac.” Matilda’s eyes went wide. She took it the white fluffy ball. If that was an egg sac… She sucked in a breath and jumped back.

“I think I’m going to go lie down after all.” Matilda said in a monotonous tone. She numbly climbed the stairs, her brain refusing to quiet. If it wasn’t a cotton ball she had put in the backseat of the Trunchbull’s car. No, she couldn’t think about this right now! She pinched her eyes shut as she imagined hundreds of legs emerging from their white fluffy prison. Legs that were scurrying and climbing over the backseat. Legs that had caused their victim to panic.

When Matilda reached Jennifer’s old room she stopped and stared at the door. She hadn’t noticed the deadbolt before. She frowned. It was on the wrong side. She stared up at it as realization dawned on her. It wasn’t for keeping someone out. It was for keeping someone in.

[kerry]

Whoa! I didn't think the Trunchbull could be any worse, but...

I hope Matilda doesn't beat herself up too much about the "cotton ball."

[BabySofia]

Glad to see an update on this. I agree... I didn't think the trunch could get any more evil. Her death was too easy...

[SashaButters]

Something was going on, it was quite obvious. The question was what. Matilda’s curiosity was killing her. What had Miss Honey found that had upset her so much? What was so bad that they needed to hand it over to the police? 

 

Resisting the urge to lay down, despite the bed looking incredibly comfortable at the moment, she had crept out of the room and stood as still as a statue in an attempt to eavesdrop. From her vantage point, she could see Jennifer and Mrs. Rodger’s sitting on opposite couches facing each other. The corner of Jennifer’s bottom lip was bleeding from being gnawed on, her tell-tale sign of distress. Matilda crouched to the floor and silently scooted her way closer to the banister to make out what they were saying. 

 

“Jennifer, I know this is a difficult subject, and I apologize if I’m crossing a line by asking this, but-” Mrs. Rodger’s paused. “Were you, did she…?” Her voice dropped to nearly a whisper. Matilda couldn’t hear what was being asked, but she could clearly see Jennifer’s shoulder’s stiffen before going limp. Her head fell forward.

 

“Yes.” 

 

“How old were you?” 

 

“I think it started when I was around Matilda’s age.” 

 

“Jesus, Jen. Didn’t you tell anyone?” 

 

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry! I didn’t know it was wrong! I- I- I She…She’d…” Jennifer’s voice was cut off by quiet sobs. Matilda’s heart ached. She could feel moisture in her own eyes. Matilda didn’t know what they were talking about, but she got the distinct impression it wasn’t something she should be listening in on. Whatever it was, whatever had happened, it was bad. 

 

Matilda scooted herself back along the hallway, no longer trying to listen in, but hearing their voices just the same. The large house seemed to carry the sounds no matter how quiet they tried to be. If Matilda had wanted to eavesdrop all she had had to do was keep the bedroom door open. 

 

“I’m sorry, Jen. Of course you wouldn’t know at that age. None of it was your fault. Shh it’s alright.”

 

“But this is my fault! All of this! It’s not like it only happened when I was little. If I had said something, but I’m such a coward…” 

 

“This. Is. Not. Your. Fault.  We don’t even know if these kids had been. Just because she had pictures of them… And look, they’re all fully dressed. It’s not like we found pictures of them naked and tied to the bed.” 

 

“But they’re in my room! And this boy is clearly crying. Don’t you recognize him?” 

 

“Yes,” Mrs. Rodger’s said with a defeated sigh, “I recognize Billy Reyes.” Matilda scrunched up her face. Why did that name sound familiar?  “But, Jennifer, look at me. This isn’t your fault. I need you to understand. Matilda needs you to understand. Even if you had spoken up those years ago, they may not have taken your claims seriously. When people hear the words, ‘sexual predator’ and ‘pedophile’, women don’t usually come to mind.” 

 

The knot of guilt in the pit of Matilda’s stomach told her one thing. Jenny did not understand. 

 

“I think… I’ll go check on Matilda.” 

 

Uh-oh. 

 

Matilda scurried back into the bedroom as the sound of creaking wooden stairs filled the air. She jumped onto the bed and pretended to be asleep as Jennifer's soft footsteps came closer. Matilda tried to slow her racing heart as the footsteps approached the bed. There was a moment of silence before she felt her shoes getting untied and one by one getting slipped off her feet. Matilda wanted to cringe. How could she have forgotten to kick her shoes off? She opened her eyes just as a figure bent down and pressed their lips to her forehead. 

 

“I saw you in the mirror. Try and stay put this time, love. This isn’t something I want you to hear. Can you do that for me?” Miss Honey whispered. Matilda could feel Jennifer’s tears on her face. She sat up, all pretense of sleep gone. 

 

“ What’s going on? Who’s Billy Reyes?” 

 

“Matilda, please, not this. Please don’t get involved in this.” Miss Honey said, a fresh wave of tears sliding down her face. “I want to preserve your innocence as long as possible.” 

 

“Mom, I know what those things were, I lied about thinking they were back massagers. I’m not that innocent. You don’t need to coddle me. ” 

 

“I know you did, but if you could, can you keep lying to me for a little while longer?”

 

“I’m sorry,” Matilda mumbled. “For listening in, but how can I support you if I don’t know what’s going on?” She could just see the corners of Miss Honey’s lips curve upward into a painful looking smile.

 

“It’s not your job to support me. All I need from you is to close those eyes and forget this whole thing ever happened.”

 

 “But, mom I-.” 

 

“No, Matilda, I mean it. Promise me you won’t leave this room until I tell you it’s alright to leave.” Well, Matilda thought, Miss Honey did ask her to keep lying.

 

“I promise.” Matilda mumbled. 

 

“That’s a good girl. Now lay back, close your eyes, and it will be time to go home before you know it.” She let Miss Honey tuck her in, and watched as she walked out. Matilda frowned. There was a sudden rattling coming from the other side of the door. She lifted her head off the pillow and stared. No! She wouldn’t! Matilda sprang from the bed and tried the door. 

 

“Mom! Please! Don’t lock me in! I’m sorry! I’ll stay put!” Matilda yanked on the door again, but it wouldn’t budge. 

 

“I’m sorry.” Came the quiet response. 

 

Matilda sighed and pulled one more time before letting out a frustrated groan. Miss Honey knew her too well. Now what? She looked around the room taking in the odd collection of figurines and dolls, before examining the book case. Matilda frowned. They were all children's books. Wasn’t this supposed to be her room until a few years ago? Then why did it look like it still belonged to a little girl? 

 

Matilda sighed again before reaching for a copy of Anne of Green Gables from the shelf, but when she pulled it down, something rattled. She shook the book. There it was again. When Matilda opened the book and skimmed the pages she let out a small laugh. About a quarter of the way into the book, the pages had been cut out in the middle, leaving behind a secret pocket containing a lighter, two strange looking cigarettes, and an empty wrapper from a bar of chocolate. Even timid, submissive Jenny had a rebellious side it seemed. She’d have to tell Jenny she found her contraband stash. She picked up one of the cigarettes and sniffed it before wrinkling her face in disgust. Why did it smell like a run over skunk? Was it because the tobacco expired? 

 

Now Matilda scanned the room in a new light. What else had rebellious teen Jenny been hiding? She smiled mischievously as she opened every book and turned it upside down. She was disappointed when they revealed nothing. It wasn’t until Matilda shook out a copy of The Three Little Pigs did she see several pieces of paper fall to the floor. She picked them up and read them.

 

I hate you, Aunt Trunchbull. There I said it. I hope you slip and fall on the floors you make me polish. 

 

One day, I’ll buy a bus ticket and get as far away from you as I can, you- 

 

Matilda’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head at the use of expletives. She had only ever heard her swear once. Matilda didn’t even know she knew that many swear words. Something about knowing Jennifer had at one point had the will to fight gave her comfort. She wondered what had happened to change her. 

 

I’ve been in here for three days. Doesn’t anyone realize I’m gone? 

 

Three days? Had the Trunchbull really locked her away for days at a time? No wonder she had left hate filled messages in random crevices. Matilda would too if she was trapped in here for days at a time, if not to vent than purely out of boredom. She stuck the notes back in between the pages and set the book back on the shelf. If that was all just in the bookshelf then what sort of goodies was she hiding under the bed? Did she also have “back massagers”?   

 

Matilda got on her hands and knees and peeked underneath the bed. A bucket? She used her powers to drag it out before picking it up, hoping it would be full of more contraband, but it was empty. So then why was there a bucket under her bed? It almost reminded Matilda of stories set in the 1800’s where every one had chamber pots under their…

 

“Eww!” Matilda muttered, sending it to the far corner of the room. “I touched it.” She wiped her hands on her jeans in disgust. “Please don’t tell me that’s what it’s for.” Was Jenny not even allowed out to use the bathroom? Matilda eyed the bedroom door. Miss Honey would let her out if she needed to, right? She just had to yell.  Besides, it was probably just a mop bucket for cleaning the floors…even if there were no mops or washcloths to go with it.

 

Matilda peeked back under the bed, but found there was nothing else under there. At least she thought so until she spotted one of the floor boards sticking up an inch too high. Yes! There had to be something good under there Matilda thought as she crawled underneath the bed. She pried up the loose floor board and saw… Matilda scowled. Empty chip bags? What was this? Hortensia’s old room? She stuck her hand in and pulled out food wrapper after food wrapper until there was nothing else in there. Disappointed, she crawled out from beneath the bed with her haul. Matilda stared at the pile of trash until a thought crossed her mind. Did Jenny have to hide the fact that she had eaten junk food? A worse thought. Did Jenny have to hide the fact that she had eaten at all?  

 

Matilda stumbled her way back towards the bed and sat. She looked from the food wrappers, to the bucket, and then to the locked door. Jennifer had told her she didn’t have a happy childhood, but this? Suddenly, the room was feeling a bit too small and stuffy. She went to the window and tried to open it, but that too wouldn’t budge. Matilda searched for a latch to undue, but instead found nails driven through the wood. She backed away now feeling horrified and collapsed on the bed. It had been one thing to hear stories, but to see the evidence first-hand left her feeling hollow inside. 

 

Matilda hugged her knees to her chest. Why would Jennifer ever want to keep this place? She shut her eyes tight. She had seen enough for one day. Matilda didn’t want to know what the adults were doing anymore. The person she wanted to be angry at was already dead, so with nowhere to go, the anger turned to sadness, and it sat in her stomach like a weight wanting to pull her down into sleep. So Matilda let it. 

 

“Sweetheart, we’re all done.” Jennifer whispered as she sat on the edge of the bed. She had expected to be greeted by a very angry little girl, but instead Matilda was fast asleep clutching Lucy to her chest. She grimaced a little as she took in the state of the room. Matilda had clearly not been sleeping the whole time. 

 

Jennifer stood and crossed the room, picked up the bucket and began collecting the trash inside. 

 

“I didn’t know you smoked.” came a mumbled response. Jennifer turned and saw Matilda sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

 

“I don’t.” Jennifer said sounding a bit confused. 

 

“Anne of Green Gables says otherwise.” Jennifer cringed. She walked to the shelf and plucked the book from its spot and pocketed the contents.

 

“So which hiding place did you find?” Jennifer asked, motioning to all the trash. 

 

“Floorboard under the bed.” 

 

“Ah,” she crossed the room as Matilda watched, bent down and removed a piece of the baseboard before sticking her hand into the wall and removing more trash. “This was my way of acting out. I’d wait until my aunt was asleep, sneak downstairs, and steal from her stash of snacks I wasn’t allowed to have.”

 

“So she wasn’t starving you?” 

 

“No, I could eat as much as I wanted during meal times. If she starved me, I wouldn’t have enough energy to cook and clean. She would however buy snacks she knew I liked and not let me have any. She’d eat them right in front of me and make me watch.” 

 

“I’m relieved you weren’t up here starving, but still.” Matilda said with a grimace. “Did she often lock you in here?” 

 

“Every night.” 

 

“But you said you’d sneak downstairs after she went to bed.” 

 

“I had my ways of getting out if I really wanted to.” Miss Honey said with a small smile. “When I was around 11 or 12 I’d sneak down and move the furniture just to mess with her. It used to drive her crazy. She never did figure out how I was getting out, because I’d be in my room come morning deadbolt still in place.” Miss Honey laughed at the surprised look on Matilda’s face. 

 

“You would? B-but your so…so…” Matilda started to say, but stopped. 

 

“Cowardly?” Miss Honey finished for her. Matilda scowled. “I wasn’t always. While I certainly wasn’t up there with you or Hortensia, I had a knack for getting myself into trouble when I was younger.”

 

“What changed?”

 

“Sometimes you have to learn to pick your battles.” 

 

In truth, her aunt’s escalating erratic behavior happened. Getting sent to your room was one thing, getting locked in your room was another. Then came nailing her window shut and locking the pantry at night. And there were the other things. She shut her eyes for a moment. No, she wouldn’t think about those things. 

 

“Can I leave the room now?” Matilda asked. Miss Honey looked up to find her squirming on the bed. 

 

“Yes, go.” She watched Matilda spring off the bed and dart towards the door before stopping. Matilda turned back to look at her.

 

“You would have let me out, right?” Miss Honey stared at her. 

 

“To use the bathroom? Of course I would have, do you think I would have made you hold it?” 

 

“Not exactly.” Matilda mumbled. Miss Honey followed her line of sight to the bucket in her hands full of trash. 

 

“Matilda!” Jennifer said in surprise. “Why would you think that?” 

 

“Did she make you?” 

 

Jennifer was nine, pounding on her bedroom door, crying, begging and pleading. Aunt Trunchbull would break her wrist again if she had another accident up here, but she couldn’t hold it until morning.

 

“Please! I need to go!” 

 

The heavy pounding footsteps were coming. She hurried away from the door less she got smacked in the face by it again when it swung open. Once was enough. 

 

In flew a plastic object with such force Jennifer couldn’t tell what it was. The door slammed shut again. 

 

“I better not hear another peep out of you if you know what’s good for you, brat!” Her aunt bellowed before retreating back down the hall. 

 

Jennifer stared at the door incredulously. Wasn’t she going to let her out? She stared behind her at the object that had come to rest by the foot of her bed. Jennifer blanched. She stared at the bucket. No! That was disgusting! She wouldn’t! She refused! But as the minutes ticked by, so did her resolve. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. Jennifer picked the object off the floor, set it down on the other side of the bed, bunched her nightgown over her hips and squatted down. 

 

“Um, well, yes.” Miss Honey admitted. Matilda wrinkled her face. “It wasn’t that bad, honestly, it was vastly better than waking her up in the middle of the night. You wouldn’t believe how angry she would be with me. But sweetheart, I would never do that to you, if you ever needed anything all you have to do is ask. I’m not my aunt.”

 

Matilda seemed to think about this for a moment before unknowingly uttering the words that would send Jennifer into a downward tailspin. 

 

“But you locked me in.” 

 

 

 

  

[BabySofia]

That is beyond sad... I hope Matilda doesn't end up not trusting her after this... I think Jenny really needs to come clean with how much she didn't want Matilda exposed to that nightmare.

Glad to see you posting on this again. A little surprised she didn't end up having an accident while she napped there.

[kerry]

Wow. You keep exposing new layers of Trunchbull horror! Roald Dahl would be proud. ?

[SashaButters]

6 minutes ago, kerry said:

Wow. You keep exposing new layers of Trunchbull horror! Roald Dahl would be proud. ?

Roald Dahl would tell me not to write books for children xD

[SashaButters]

A/N I hope you like crying

Miss Honey stared at the hurt expression in Matilda’s eyes. The moisture in her mouth seemed to all at once disappear. Her stomach began to churn.

 

“S-sweetheart, n-n-no, I’m sorry, but I had to.” Jennifer stammered. Her heart was beginning to race in her chest. “It was just to prove how serious I was, if you really wanted out, it wouldn’t have held you for two minutes.” Matilda still looked doubtful. “Do you want to see how I got out?” Suddenly, the hurt expression was gone as quickly as it had come and in its place was a mischievous smile. Jennifer breathed a sigh of relief. “Go stand outside and lock me in.” Matilda’s eyes widened.

 

“Really?” 

 

“Yes, go ahead.” 

 

“Umm, can I use the bathroom first?”

 

“Yes, go potty, then lock me in.”

 

“Hmm,” Matilda said before backing out of the room. “No.” Jennifer could see the glint of mischief in her eyes. The door closed, and the lock clicked into place. “I think I’ll lock you in, then go to the bathroom. Be back in a minute!” Jennifer sighed, she supposed she deserved that. 

 

Why had she locked the door? Because she wouldn’t have stayed put, Jennifer argued with herself. 

 

“Mom, I’m sorry! Please don’t lock me in!”

 

Matilda would have stayed put then. She had gotten the message loud and clear. You should have unlocked it then, not walked away. She could have easily gotten out.  That’s not the point! 

 

Jennifer winced as she went to her desk, retrieved a small, square object from a cup of pens and stood by the door to wait. A few seconds later she heard Matilda’s voice announcing she was back.

 

“Ready?” 

 

“Ready!” 

 

Jennifer retrieved the small object from her pocket and held it up to the door with practiced precision. “Up a quarter inch and slide to the right.” she mumbled. She opened the door to find Matilda’s amazed face as if she couldn’t move things herself with her mind.

 

“Woah! How did you do that?” Matilda asked. Jennifer opened her palm. “A magnet?” 

 

“Yep, see.” She held it up to the other side of the door where the lock was and slid it back and forth. Matilda watched in awe as the deadbolt went in and out. 

 

“Now that I know your secret, you can’t lock me in again!” Matilda said clasping her fingers together. “Muahaha.” 

 

“Matilda,” Jennifer said softly before bending down to one knee to look her in the eyes. “I never should have locked you in the room in the first place. I’m sorry, will you forgive me?” 

 

“It’s okay,” Matilda said looking sheepish. “I wouldn’t have stayed.” she mumbled. Miss Honey smiled.

 

“I know, you’re a terrible liar.” 

 

“I am not!” Matilda said.

 

“I’m your mother, I can see when you’re lying a mile away. You have a tell.” Miss Honey said with a laugh before wrapping her arms around the girl and squeezing tightly. 

 

“I do!?” Matilda said with a gasp before resting her head on Miss Honey’s shoulder and returning the hug.

 

“Yes, the moment I signed those papers, it appeared all over your face, just like magic.” Matilda giggled.

 

“No it didn’t!” There was a pause. “What is it?”

 

“I think I’ve revealed enough secrets for one day.” Miss Honey said with a laugh before stopping. “Actually, I think, I think we need to talk.” Matilda hung on as Jennifer carried her back into the room and sat on the bed. “Do you understand why I did what I did?”

 

“You didn’t want me listening in on your private conversation.” Matilda mumbled. “I was being rude.” 

 

“It wasn’t to punish you sweetheart, even though you really shouldn’t be eavesdropping. That’s not the point. I wanted to protect you.” 

 

“Because I’m little?” Jennifer sighed. 

 

“Not just to protect what’s up here.” Jennifer said lightly touching Matilda’s head. “I know you know about things, more things than I wish you did.  What most concerns me is here.” She touched the girl's chest. “Your heart. Your innocence.” 

 

“I’m not that innocent.” Matilda grumbled.

“I know you keep saying that, but, maybe I’m not phrasing this right. Maybe innocence isn’t the right word. Your spirit, yes, that’s it. This has nothing to do with your age, it doesn’t matter if you were ten, fifteen, or even twenty, once your spirit is broken, that’s it. You may never see the world the same way again. You may never be so quick to smile, so easy to make laugh.”

 

“Is that what happened to you? Did the Trunchbull break your spirit?” Matilda asked. 

 

“Yes,” Miss Honey whispered, “She did.” 

 

“Is there anything I can do to fix it?” Jennifer wrapped her arms around Matilda and squeezed, gently rocking her back and forth before kissing the top of her head.

 

“Every day I get to spend being your mother makes me come alive more and more. I love you more than anything. I never thought I could ever feel this.” 

 

“I love you too, mom.” They sat in silence, enjoying the feeling of being in each other's arms, until Jennifer spoke again.

 

“The thing is, I don’t know what I’m doing.” Matilda looked up at her.

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

“This whole parenting thing. I don’t know how to be a good parent.”

 

“I think you do.” Matilda said, resting her head back on Miss Honey’s shoulder.

 

“You’re sweet, but I’m serious. Matilda, in the future, I might-no I will make mistakes. Do you know what my biggest fear is?” Matilda thought about it for a minute.

 

“Small spaces?” 

 

“No, it’s hurting you. Not here,” Miss Honey tapped her forehead again before moving her hand to Matilda’s heart. “But here.” 

 

“You won’t.” Matilda said confidently before frowning in confusion as Miss Honey’s eyes began to water.

 

“I’m scared, Matilda. I’m so scared I’ll cross that line someday. That’s why I wanted to talk to you. I need you to pick a word.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I want you to pick a word you’ll always remember, and if I ever do or start to do something that hurts you here,” she patted Matilda’s heart again, “you say that word and I promise to stop whatever I’m doing, and we’ll talk about it.”

 

“But, why?” Matilda asked looking puzzled. 

 

“Because I never want you to hurt the way I did. I wasn’t raised in a loving home. I may not know what is and isn’t acceptable when the time comes. While I’ll always have your best interests at heart, I worry there will come a time, no matter my intentions, my actions will cause you more harm than good. So pick a word, please.” Jennifer said, stroking Matilda’s head.

 

“Okay, umm, pumpkins.” Matilda said. “So I just say ‘pumpkins’ if you ever start chasing me with a riding crop?” Miss Honey smiled weakly.

 

“If I ever chase you with a riding crop, we may have missed a few signs leading up to it. I can’t promise I won’t use it to chase out the first boy you bring home though.” Matilda giggled as she wrinkled up her face. “Heaven help him if he ever breaks your heart. Straight to the chokey with him!”

 

“Mom!” Matilda said in shock before giggling.

 

“I’m kidding.” 

 

“Why are you so scared of hurting me that we need a safe word?” Matilda asked once they had calmed down.

 

“I’m going to pretend you don’t know what that means.” Matilda rolled her eyes. Miss Honey let out a deep sigh. “Because of my genetics.”

 

“Your genetics?” 

 

“My aunt wasn’t born a monster, I don’t think. She was turned into one by her father, my grandfather. According to her, well, let’s just say he did some not nice things to her, but treated my mother like a princess. It caused a lot of bitterness and hate to fester inside of her for a very long time. I don’t know what caused him to turn out that way, but I have a feeling this goes back decades.”

 

“Just because she was abused doesn’t give her the right to abuse others.” Matilda said. 

 

“Of course not, no one has the right, but there’s this little voice in the back of my head that still worries I’ll wake up one day and realize I’ve become my aunt. There was a time I was also filled with anger and hate.” 

 

“Yeah, I saw your notes.” Matilda said.

“What notes?” 

 

“In the Three Little Pigs, there were scraps of paper inside. I didn’t realize you had such a, uh, colorful vocabulary.” 

 

Curious, Miss Honey stood and went to the book case, retrieved the book, and shook its pages. Sure enough, bits of paper began to fall to the floor. She scooped them up, read the first two and audibly groaned. Now she remembered. What was she, like, 12? 

 

“It’s when she nailed my window shut. She thought it would make me spend less time in my room and more time cleaning.” 

 

“Did it?”

 

“Oh yeah, she cut off my only source of fresh air, and when there’s a bucket of excrement in your room...”

 

“Eww.” Matilda said wrinkling her nose in disgust. “I thought you only had to use it during the night.” 

 

“Sometimes I’d be locked in all weekend, and, well, I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. So yeah, there were times I’d scrub the floors by hand with a toothbrush if it meant fresh air.” Among other things. 

 

She flipped to the last note and frowned. This wasn’t her writing. She slipped the note in her pocket and crumbled up the other two. She’d show it to Mrs. Rodger’s downstairs later. 

 

“Oh, I almost forgot one more hiding place! Want to see?” Matilda nodded her head eagerly. She looked to the chair but decided against it. “I’m going to need your help with this one. Come here. Ready?” She asked when Matilda stood next to her. She picked her up by the waist and hoisted her up to the air vent. “Push up then pull out.” 

 

“Mom, what in the world?!” 

 

“Pull them all out, but hurry I can’t hold you up like this for much longer.” Suddenly, it began to rain bits of dust, and an odd assortment of television remote controls, wallets, and sets of car keys. 

 

“One. Two. Three. Four. Five, jeez mom, six. Seven. That’s all of them.” 

 

“So food may not have been the only thing I stole on my nighttime strolls.” Jennifer admitted sheepishly. Matilda eyed all the fallen debris before bursting into laughter. “While I may not have openly defied her, I certainly enjoyed inconveniencing her.” 

 

“Can I go show Mrs. Rodger’s all this stuff?” Matilda said with a large smile on her face.

 

“Yes, go for it.” She smiled as Matilda grabbed as much as she could carry and bounded down the stairs. Once Matilda was gone, the smile fell off of Jennifer’s face. She looked at the room one last time before making her way into the bathroom and closing the door behind her. 

 

She leaned over the sink as a fresh wave of tears overcame her. Her hands shook as she gripped the porcelain as tight as she could. “Gotta hold it together.” she mumbled to herself. “I can’t let her see.” She stared at her reflection in the mirror, but instead of the twenty- three-year-old staring back at her, it was her 11-year-old self.

 

Jennifer washed her hands again and again and again. Her skin was water logged, and raw, but no matter how hard she scrubbed, they wouldn’t feel clean. Soap wasn’t enough. She reached underneath the sink for the bottle of peroxide. She opened the cap and dumped it on each hand, resisting the urge to scream. Yes, burn away that vile woman’s scent. 

 

She shouldn’t have given in. She should have just let her lock her in the cellar. 

 

“You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.”  Her aunt had told her.

 

“I never wanted my back scratched.” Jennifer now mumbled through her tears. She looked up at her reflection again and let out a horrified scream. She wasn’t alone.

 

 “That’s not how I remember it.” Agatha Trunchbull said with a toothy grin. Jennifer let out a terrified whimper. She watched her put her hands on Jennifer’s shoulder, but she felt nothing. She wasn’t there. This wasn’t real! “And I certainly wouldn’t say you never wanted it. Don’t you remember the last time?”

 

“I never wanted it.” Jennifer growled. “I was just a kid.”  

 

“You may not have wanted it, but you certainly learned to enjoy it.” Jennifer shut her eyes again as a wave a revulsion tumbled through her. She was going to be sick. 

 

“No! Shut up! You’re dead!” 

 

“Look at you now, a chip off the old block. Do you enjoy climbing into bed with her?” Jennifer fell to her knees.

 

“No! No! It isn’t like that!” she sobbed. 

 

“Does it feel good when you both undress and hold each other?” Agatha whispered into her ear. Jennifer crawled to the toilet and vomited. 

 

“Mom? Are you okay?” Matilda asked. 

 

“I’m fine, sweetie!” She bit down on her knuckle as quiet sobs racked her body. 

 

“Why don’t you tell her how you really feel? How you can’t wait to get her alone tonight and offer to scratch her back.” 

 

“No! I’m not you!” Jennifer cried before getting sick again. “Not my daughter.” She moaned. 

 

“Not me? You practically stole her from her parents and jumped in bed naked with her. Please tell me how that makes you fit to be her mother? How that makes you not me.”

 

“Mom? Who are you talking to? Are you crying?”

 

“N-no, m-mommy just needs a minute alone.” Jennifer managed to choke out through heaves. She heard Matilda’s footsteps retreat, before a second pair was quickly rushing up the stairs. 

 

“Jennifer, is everything all right?” Mrs. Rodger’s asked, but all Jennifer could do was sob. “I’m coming in.”

 

“N-no!” but the door was already opening. She turned her head up to face her aunt, but found she was gone. 

 

“Mom!” Matilda was rushing towards her. Jennifer’s heart sank.

 

“Pl-please don’t touch me.” Jennifer moaned.

 

“But mom-” she felt a small hand on her back as another wave of revulsion washed over her.

 

“I SAID DON’T TOUCH ME!” Jennifer threw an arm out to get her away, but ended up pushing her to the ground. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Matilda fall, before scurrying back into the corner. “I-i’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” 

 

“Jennifer,” Mrs. Rodger’s said sounding horiffied at what she had done.

 

“Please. Please.” Jennifer said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “Take Matilda to Hortensia’s, and then, if it’s not too much trouble, take me to the hospital. S-s-something’s wrong with me.” She turned her head and stared at Matilda, curled into a ball, staring at her with wet, wide eyes. She was mouthing something. Miss Honey closed her eyes and sobbed. It was pumpkins.

 

 

[kerry]

Oh my God! This, while certainly a realistic depiction of PTSD-induced psychosis, is terrifying! OTOH, Miss Honey has always been too good to be true despite her upbringing, so it's good to see her melting down and seeking help to deal with the past. Anyone who ever met Trunchbull would need this kind of help.

[SashaButters]

2 hours ago, kerry said:

 OTOH, Miss Honey has always been too good to be true despite her upbringing, so it's good to see her melting down and seeking help to deal with the past. Anyone who ever met Trunchbull would need this kind of help.

Right? I've always thought so too. You can't just adopt a kid and expect to live happily ever after.

[SashaButters]

Alright, this story has gotten me banned from one website already. The reason for the ban says use of underage characters. … Pretty much all my stories follow underage characters and they aren’t meant to be taken sexually. 
 

I had a lot of bathroom related, uh, issues as a kid, and it caused a lot of shame and humiliation for me from adults in my life. All I wanted growing up was for one adult not to shame and belittle me. So I channel that into my writing, and I find it very therapeutic to write about. It’s not a kink for me. 
 

I post stories here because I think “who’d want to read stories about people having accidents?” 

[WBDaddy]

4 hours ago, SashaButters said:

this story has gotten me banned from one website already.

ADISC? 

[SashaButters]

3 hours ago, WBDaddy said:

ADISC? 

Omoroshi.org No big loss, those guys will jack off to anything, but I’ve been posting stories there for almost 10 years and have never had an issue. 

[SashaButters]

23 minutes ago, Dee Cee said:

 so I just told the big wigs over there to all go f..k yerselves, and I got the boot quick

Um, I think that would be true for most forums ?

[SashaButters]

11 minutes ago, Dee Cee said:

But they did me first , but they let the other guy just go as if , I started it ! 
Back in the day , I’m 68 yr old , but back then your alligator mouth , best be able to watch your humming bird ass ! 
or some body might clip yer wings , now it’s all .. I got my opinion you got yours , and that just ain’t right , no mater what side of the tracks your from !

What side of the tracks are you from? I've never heard some of these expressions before.

[SashaButters]

Matilda stood at the black gate in front of Hortensia’s house feeling stunned as she watched Mrs. Rodger’s car drive away.  

 

“Pumpkins.” she mumbled as a new wave of tears fought for escape and blurred her vision. 

 

“What was that?” Hortensia’s mom asked. Matilda shook her head. Eve stared down at her looking unsure of what to do or how to approach her. The last time they had met, Matilda had sent them all to the hospital by blowing up their glass sliding door out of anger. Now Matilda had been dropped off on their doorstop in tears with no warning and little explanation other than, “Her mom’s ill, please watch her, I’ll call you later and explain.” 

 

Matilda followed her inside, hiccuping along the way. 

 

“I know you’re upset, but let’s try and calm down. You’re going to make yourself sick. Why don’t you join ‘Tens on the couch, and she can put on a movie for you.” 

 

Matilda made her way into the living room where Hortensia’s attention was glued to the screen with her left hand in a bag of potato chips. She looked away as Matilda climbed up, seemingly noticing her presence for the first time.

 

“Hey, what are you doing here squirt?” Hortensia took one look at her face and added. “And what did ma do to you? MA!” 

 

“What?” Eve said, hands on her hips. 

 

“What did you do to make her cry?” 

 

“I didn’t do anything, she came this way.” 

 

“Well, what happened?”

 

“I don’t know.” Eve said shaking her head. “Someone from the school just dropped her off in a bit of a panic. Said Miss Honey was ill, didn’t say with what.” 

 

“From the school? On a Saturday? Ohh, that must be Mrs. Rodger’s.” Hortensia pursed her lips. “You’re not sick too, are you?” Hortensia scooted as far to the other side of the couch as she could and made a cross with her fingers. 

 

“Stop picking on her; she’s upset. Actually, come here ‘Tens.”  

 

“What did I do?” Hortensia scowled. “I was just joking!”

 

“Just come here, I want to talk to you.” Hortensia let out a loud annoyed huff as if she had just been told she had to clean the entire house by herself before following her mom into the hallway. Matilda sat awkwardly by herself, trying not to think about anything. She stared at the television without really seeing it. 

 

“Ma, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” she heard Hortensia say from the hall. She had clearly not mastered the art of keeping her voice down. “You’re going to make her more upset than she already is.” 

 

Matilda had the distinct impression they were talking about her, even if Hortensia wasn’t making it obvious. Whatever it was they thought would upset her was fine. She didn’t care. Nothing could possibly make her feel worse than she already felt. 

 

When Hortensia came back, she leaned over and whispered, “I tried.” 

 

“Matilda, dear, would you come back here for a minute?” Matilda stood and before making her way down the hall, met Hortensia’s eyes. Sorry, the older girl silently mouthed. 

 

She walked down the hall, searching for where the voice had called her from. She found Eve sitting on Hortensia’s bed. Matilda stopped in the doorway, head down and shoulders slumped.

 

“Come have a seat.” Eve said, patting the spot on the bed next to her. Once Matilda had sat, Eve continued. “What’s got you so down? Do you want to talk about it?” Matilda shook her head. “Is there anything we can do to make you feel better?” Matilda shook her head again. “Are you worried about Miss Honey?” Instead of responding, she just sat there taking in the disaster that was Hortensia’s room. She didn’t want to have this conversation. She didn’t want to think about it. 

 

“I SAID DON’T TOUCH ME!”

 

Matilda hid her face in her hands and began to bawl.  

 

“I told you not to do it!” they heard coming from the front of the house. Eve stood up and closed the bedroom door before sitting back down. 

 

“Your mommy’s going to be just fine, there’s nothing to worry about, honey. Did she get bit again?” Matilda shook her head. What had happened in those two minutes she was gone? One minute she had been telling her she loved her and the next…

 

“I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ME!” 

 

What had she done wrong? Miss Honey had never yelled at her like that, let alone shove her away. A sinking feeling began to grow in the pit of Matilda’s stomach. It only left one option. Miss Honey knew. 

 

Tiny legs crawling over the upholstery. Tiny legs crawling over the Trunchbull’s arms, her legs, her back, her face. The Trunchbull losing control of the car. Crash. 

 

Matilda continued to violently sob. She didn’t know how to handle this…this guilt. There was so much. 

 

I killed someone. I killed Miss Trunchbull. So many spiders. So much guilt. She hates you for killing her aunt. That’s why she looked at you with such disgust. 

 

She let Eve hold her. Part of her was still angry at Eve, but it was buried so far down and away from the surface it didn’t matter. They sat together in silence until Matilda’s sobs became dry hiccups.

 

“Why are you  covered in dirt?” Eve asked, after pulling an arm away to find it black. “It’s even in your hair, and all over your arms. Have you been crawling under beds?” And into air vents, Matilda thought with a sniffle. “You're taking a bath young lady.” 

 

Matilda sat numbly in place and watched as Eve began to untie her shoes and slip them off before doing the same to her socks. She let herself get led to the bathroom by the hand and watched as Eve began to fill the tub.

 

“Get undressed.” Eve ordered. Matilda just stood there. Her arms felt too heavy. Her whole body seemed to suddenly feel too heavy. Besides, she could do this herself in private, but right now, she just didn’t care. Fighting Eve just felt like too much work. “Not feeling very independent today, are we? That’s alright, let me help you.” Matilda felt her shirt get pulled over her head before Eve tugged her pants and underwear down in one swift motion. “Step out.”

 

Matilda lifted her leg up obediently, but felt herself start to stumble back. Eve caught her before she could fall and stared at her, eyes now full of concern. 

 

“Are you feeling okay?” Matilda shrugged. “You’re probably just exhausted from all that crying. A quick bath and then I’ll put you down for a nap on the couch before dinner. Do you want to try going potty before your bath?” Matilda shook her head. She had to draw the line somewhere. “Well, how about we just try.” She felt herself get picked up and set on the toilet. What was the point of asking her then? Eve was staring at her expectantly now.

 

If it was any other day she would have said something, but she felt too apathetic, so she just averted her eyes and did as she was told. The roar of rushing water from the bathtub made it easy at least and masked the tinkling sound of urine.

 

"All done?" Eve asked. Matilda nodded. She reached for the toilet paper and pulled off a couple squares, but frowned when it fell from her hand and onto the floor. "Don't worry about it, you're going in the bath anyway. Just sit tight until the waters ready." Matilda had nearly nodded off before Eve told her she was ready for her. When Matilda hopped down from the toilet, she began feeling lightheaded and stumbled a bit.

 

"Woah," Eve said with a frown, "careful now." She thrust out a hand to keep Matilda from crashing into the wall. "Are you sure you're okay?" Matilda nodded, but Eve didn't look convinced. "I think I'll stay here with you. I don't know how I feel about leaving you alone like this." Matilda shrugged. "You sure aren't feeling very talkative today, are you?" Matilda looked away and stared at the blackening bath water. She really had been dirty, no wonder Eve threw her in the tub.

 

"It's alright, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. I must admit though, you're being very well-behaved. You must have been so ornery last time because you weren't feeling well. Ten's is worried you'll be angry with me for this next part, but I don't think you'll give me any trouble, will you?" Matilda saw Eve reach for her and had to fight back the slight impulse to bite her hand. She had hardly been the ornery one on their last meeting, Matilda thought as she felt her head get dunked under the water.

 

Once Eve had finished scrubbing her down head to toe, Matilda felt even more lightheaded and out of it than earlier. When she stood on the bathmat she had needed to grab onto Eve's waist for support.

 

"At least you're clean." Eve said with a grimace, staring down at her now wet outfit. "Just a little bit longer, and then you can lay down in front of the TV." Matilda was breathing a little heavy by the time she got back to Hortensia's room. She had had trouble standing in place without swaying while Eve dried her off with a towel. She had been so tempted just to sit on the floor.

 

"Go ahead and hop up on the bed while I find you something to wear." Matilda wasted no time. She laid down on her back, feeling snug in her towel and closed her eyes while Eve rummaged through the closet. She was fine just staying here like this. It wasn't until she felt her towel getting tugged away did she open her eyes. Eve was standing over her with a t-shirt and, Matilda would have scowled if she had the energy.

 

"You've been so well-behaved today, you're not going to give me trouble, are you?" So that's what Hortensia had meant when she said she tried to stop her.

Matilda tried to shield herself as a way of saying, "no" but Eve just brushed her hands away. Eh, she tried.

"Yes, Matilda, you've been a very upset little girl today, so let's just cover all our bases, just in case. Besides, you're going to sleep anyway." Matilda should have told she didn't need them anymore since they had "unplugged" her, but honestly, she found she didn't really care all that much. She laid back down without further protest and felt Eve pat her thigh. "Thank you. Since you're being so good, I think I'll even let you have some ice cream. How does that sound?" Matilda shook her head. She didn't want any ice cream. She just wanted today to never have happened.

 

"You really are feeling out of sorts." Eve said as she taped the diaper in place. She offered her a hand up before helping her into an over sized T-shirt. "Come get me if you need to go potty, and I'll pin it back up when you're done, just like last time. Now let's get you to the couch, I'd let you stay here, but I'd like to keep a closer eye on you. Something's off." Matilda hung on to her neck as Eve picked her up. "It's going to be okay, really." Eve whispered. Matilda felt her eyes begin to water again. Why did she always cry when people told her that?  "Shh, shh, no more tears."

 

"Sorry," Hortensia said once she was set down on the couch and Eve had left. "Please don't be angry." Matilda could tell she was scared. She shook her head. She didn't have anything to be scared of. Matilda couldn't blow anything up right now even if she wanted to. "Please don't break the telly." Of course, she'd be worried about that. She wanted to tell her she wasn't angry, but every time she tried, the words kept getting stuck in her throat, so she just gave up and shook her head again.

 

Hortensia frowned and stared at her more closely. "MA!" she yelled. "Did you drug her?!" Eve came back from the kitchen.

 

"No! I did not drug her!”

 

“Then why is she acting like a zombie?”

 

"Then maybe they gave her a Benadryl to calm her down or something. I offered her ice cream, but she didn't even want any." Hortensia stared at her and gave her a look as if she was deeply offended before letting out a deep sigh.

 

"I guess I have no choice, Ma, I'll have to eat it for her." Hortensia said.

 

"The hell you will!" Eve stopped and stared at her for a minute before a smirk appeared on her face. "Actually, sure Tens', you can have some ice cream." Hortensia perked up.

 

"Really?"

 

"Of course, all you have to do is let me put you in a diaper for the evening." Hortensia's shoulders slumped, and she made a disgusted sound.

 

"Tease," she grumbled under her breath. "And don't you even think of egging her on!" she added to Matilda, but Matilda had already curled herself into a ball and shut her eyes, burying her face into her folded arms so no one could see her cry. All it took was another ten minutes before the sounds of the television she so despised were completely gone.

 

The next thing Matilda knew she was being shaken awake. "Sweetheart, it's time for dinner." A voice said softly in her ear. Matilda slowly lifted her head, feeling even more disoriented and unaware of her surrounding than before. She wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand, vaguely aware she had been drooling. How long had she been asleep? She craned her neck and stared out the window. It was dark out now.

 

"Wow, good job! You're dry even after that long nap. I'm impressed." Eve said in a high falsetto used exclusively for very young children. Matilda struggled to focus her eyes until the three Eves that were holding up her shirt and peeking at her waist became one.

 

"MA!" Hortensia yelled from the kitchen. "Cut it out, she's in my year! It's weird."

 

"You don't mind, do you?" Eve asked her without waiting for a reply. Matilda had planned on telling her she wasn't hungry and going back to sleep, but Eve had scooped her off the couch as if she was a rag doll. If her mind had been working, she would have thought Eve was rather enjoying her current state, but the only thing going through Matilda's mind at the moment was relief that she didn't have to walk.

 

"You can tell her to stop." Hortensia whispered to her once she was set down in a chair at the table. "She's treating you like the toddler next door." Matilda shrugged and closed her eyes. “Dude, what's with you? You'd be loosing your shit right now." She'd rather this than someone else be angry with her. The thought made her heart ache. She touched the place Jennifer had touched, her spirit. Is this what she had meant about her spirit breaking? If she explained she hadn't meant to kill her aunt and apologized, could they ever go back to the way they were?  

 

“What have I told you about swearing?” Eve said with a scowl. 

 

“What? You cuss all the time! Just this morning you burned yourself and was all F-” 

 

“Little ears are present.” Eve said, cutting her off. 

 

If she thought Hortensia swore too much, she’d have an aneurysm if she spent a single afternoon with Harry down at the shop. It’s not like she caved easily to peer pressure either, although there was the time Hortensia had bet Matilda her pudding if she could say at least 15 cuss words in thirty seconds. It had been a delicious pudding and Hortensia had walked away with the knowledge of how to say “fuck off” in three new languages. 

 

She wrote one of them now on the condensation of a glass of water that had been set in front of her and showed Hortensia, who snickered. Matilda brushed the glass with her fingers and wiped away the words. She doubted Eve spoke any German, but just in case. She preferred Eve thinking it was her daughter that was the bad influence instead of the other way around.  If she had even the slightest inkling of how much Matilda knew about the things Miss Honey said she had “no business knowing about” Eve would be trying to convince Jennifer to ship her off to a reform school in Antarctica or something.

 

Matilda felt another twinge of regret. Would Jennifer get rid of her?  That look of utter disgust ran through her mind one more time. There was no love in those eyes, only revulsion. Maybe she could convince Jenny when the time came to send her to boarding school in Switzerland instead of Antarctica, where her only friends might be penguins. 

 

“Do you want me to cut up your pork chop for you?” Eve asked before looking away and dicing the meat before Matilda could respond. Yes, she supposed “Pork chop” would be a cute name for her future waddling friend. She imagined trying to sneak it in to her dorm room without anyone noticing. Maybe it would even let her hold him at night like a big stuffed animal to keep warm. 

 

Matilda gritted her teeth when she looked down at the food set in front of her. She had let her imagination get away from her and now when she looked down at the cut up meat all she could see was diced penguin. Now she felt sad all over again. She really did ruin all her relationships, both real and imaginary. 

 

“Are you not hungry?” Eve asked her. Matilda shook her head. She hadn’t been hungry even before imagining the life, and death, of her made up companion. There was a lump in her throat that made swallowing difficult. Just the thought of trying to force solids down made her feel like she was choking. “Well I want you to try.” Eve said. “I don’t want your mom thinking I didn’t feed you while you were here. She thinks I was too harsh with you last time, and I’d rather not make her angry again.” 

 

So that explains why she had gone from one extreme to the other. Eve wasn’t coddling her because she was upset, she was doing it because she was afraid of Miss Honey’s wrath. 

 

Matilda looked over at Hortensia and blinked in surprise. She had only gotten her plate of food three minutes ago, and it was already nearly gone. Watching Hortensia eat never ceased to amaze her. She was like a squirrel stuffing her face with acorns, but a more accurate description to Matilda was a leviathan sea monster or some other Lovecraftian being chowing down on…penguins. What was with her and penguins tonight?

 

 “What’s that look for?” Hortensia asked. 

 

“She must be disgusted at your table manners.” Eve said in a teasing tone. “You eat like you’ll never see food again. Slow down, and you might even be able to taste it.” 

 

Matilda had been wishing they had a dog, so she could sneak it bits of food, but who needed a dog when you had Hortensia. She clapped her hands together in a silent prayer and mouthed please help before pointing at her plate. 

 

“What, you don’t like it?”  Hortensia asked out loud, drawing Eve’s attention. Matilda wanted to smack her, Hortensia really had no sense of her surroundings. 

 

“Matilda, I hope you don’t think I’m dumb enough not to see what you’re trying to do.” Eve said. Matilda quickly shook her head. She could hear a bit of Eve’s customary sharpness underneath the fictitious warmth. “Good, because I had really hoped we could continue on this path of good behavior.” 

 

Matilda nodded and stared at her plate of food, which at the moment, seemed as appealing to her as if it really was diced penguin. She picked up her fork before piercing one of the pieces of meat, only to end up dropping it with a loud clang as it landed against the porcelain plate. Matilda cringed as she hastened to pick it up. The last thing she wanted was Eve to think she was stalling.

 

When she finally got it into her mouth, it really wasn’t bad, but when it came time to swallow, it was as she feared. The lump in her throat refused to let anything go down. No matter how much she chewed, her subconscious wasn’t sending the message to the rest of her body to do its job. She reached for a napkin and tried to spit it out as subtly as possible, but Eve wasn’t having it. 

 

“Swallow it, chewing isn’t the same as eating.” Matilda took a deep breath through her nose and forced herself to swallow. “Four more pieces, and if you really don’t want anymore after that, I won’t force you.” 

 

Matilda looked down at her plate, then back to Eve. She tried giving her the universal choking sign, but Eve just sighed. 

 

“I know you're upset, sweetie, but let’s try and be a big girl and use your words now.” Matilda violently shook her head and crossed her hands over her throat again, only to realize it wasn’t getting her anywhere. She looked desperately to Hortensia. Wouldn’t someone realize what was happening? She was running out of air! 

 

“Ma, I think she’s choking!” Hortensia said. Matilda nodded and clawed at her neck. It hadn’t gone down all the way, it had only managed to get halfway before lodging itself in her throat. She tried coughing, but couldn’t get enough air to force it back out. 

 

“Water! Drink some water!” Eve said thrusting the glass into Matilda’s hands. Matilda tried to swallow a mouthful, only for it to immediately come back up and out. “Try again!” She repeated the process, only for the same thing to keep happening. She was beginning to panic now. 

 

Matilda jumped to her feet, unsure of what to do. The next thing she knew, she felt herself being lifted into the air as hands forced themselves right below her ribs and began thrusting over and over.  Five times, six times, seven times. Just when she thought she couldn’t take anymore, on the eighth thrust, she felt the piece of meat dislodge itself. It flew from her mouth and onto the floor where Matilda collapsed next to it, panting and gasping for air. 

 

Eve stared in shock, not at Matilda, but at Hortensia. 

 

“And no one thinks I pay attention in class.” Hortensia said. 

 

“I think you just earned your ice cream.”  Eve said. 

 

………………………

 

Jennifer sat in silence in her hospital bed in the emergency room counting the ceiling tiles for the fifth time - there were 128 of them. Mrs. Rodger’s, Carol she kept reminding her, had been sitting next to her in a chair the entire time. 

 

“Jen,” Mrs. Rodger’s said, breaking the hour-long silence. “What happened?” Jennifer’s eyes met hers, before hastily darting away.

 

“I don’t know.” She mumbled. 

 

“Why did you push Matilda away like that? That wasn’t like you.”

 

“Is she okay?” Jennifer asked, slowly meeting her eyes. 

 

“Physically, yes, but if I’m being honest, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so upset.” Jennifer groaned and hid her face in her hands. Here she had made this big speech about not wanting to hurt her and less than five minutes later Matilda was pulling out her safe word. “Talk to me, Jen. What happened?” 

 

Jennifer let out a deep sigh. “I had a flashback. I have them sometimes, but this was so,” she paused, trying to come up with the best way to describe it before finally settling on, “vivid.” She glanced up at Mrs. Rodger’s, who sat patiently waiting for her to continue. “I was looking in the mirror at my childhood self. It was a memory from the night she finally convinced me to reciprocate-”

 

“Coerced.” Mrs. Rodger’s interjected. “You do not ‘convince’ a child, you ‘coerce’ them. Do you understand the difference?” Jennifer bit her lip before nodding. “No matter what she got you to say or do, you didn’t consent. This wasn’t your fault.” 

 

Jennifer nodded again before continuing, “Afterwards, I washed my hands until patches of skin peeled off. When I still didn’t feel clean, I burned them with hydrogen peroxide.” Mrs. Rodger’s winced. Jennifer let out a dry, humorless laugh. “I remember when I was very little, I scraped my knee and my father poured some on it. He told me the stinging means it’s cleaning.”

 

“Was this memory, this flashback, what made you ill?” Jennifer slowly shook her head. “What then? What you described sounds awful enough.”

 

“You’ll think I’m crazy.” Jennifer mumbled, feeling the sting of tears. “And it’s not very appropriate, it’s not like I can tell Matilda even though it involves her. I know she wants to know these things, but she’s only five, and it’s not like I have anyone else to really talk to.” She felt Mrs Rodger’s grab her hand and gently squeeze.

“You have me, and guess what? I’m not five.” Jennifer sniffled and gave her a weak smile.

 

“If you’re sure.” 

 

“I am.” 

 

“Why have you been so kind to me?” Jennifer asked. “You’ve taught me to drive, you’ve taken me all over town, you invited us over for Christmas, you’ve stayed in the hospital with Matilda, you’re sitting in the hospital with me now…” 

 

“Well, why were you so kind to Matilda?” Mrs. Rodger’s asked. “You were only her teacher, you didn’t have to get so involved.”

 

“How could I not? She’s the most amazing, sensitive, intelligent child I’ve ever met, but when I looked into her eyes, all I could see was this lonely little girl who needed someone to step up and show her she wasn’t alone.” Jennifer felt her hand get squeezed again. She looked up.

 

“Matilda’s not the only lonely, little girl I see. I think it’s pastime someone showed you you’re not alone either.”

[Guilend]

This definitely made me cry by the end. It’s amazing. 

[SashaButters]

On 10/11/2022 at 12:47 AM, Guilend said:

This definitely made me cry by the end. It’s amazing. 

Thank you! The last couple of weeks I've been having an hour commute to work, so lots of time to daydream about the story.

[SashaButters]

Matilda watched as Hortensia appeared in the living room carrying the biggest bowl of ice cream she had ever seen, before joining her on the couch. 

 

“You should choke more often.” Hortensia said, beaming at her as if it had been something they had planned together all along. 

 

“You didn’t have to drop me on the floor after.” Matilda rasped out, voice barely over a whisper. She had the feeling Hortensia had been in utter shock when the piece of pork chop had actually dislodged itself that she forgot she still had Matilda hoisted into the air and had simply let go. 

 

Hortensia shrugged and began to pile ice cream in her mouth as if those minor inconsequential  details didn’t matter. Matilda supposed they didn’t really. Being sore was better than being dead, and it was much more than her mom had done for her. 

 

Eve had been fussing over her ever since, asking if she wanted anything every couple of minutes. Matilda was content with the cup of applesauce she had been given. It was much easier to swallow and eased her raw and aching throat. Matilda guessed it was her way of apologizing. 

Hortensia found it amusing whenever she ran in the room every time she heard a cough, she had even coughed on purpose just to see if she’d run in. What she did not find as amusing was being showered in praise. Matilda noticed she looked very uncomfortable whenever Eve had thanked her for her quick reflexes and thinking on her feet. It was clear to Matilda that Hortensia didn’t know how to take a compliment. 

 

“But I wasn’t thinking. I only knew because of a scene in a comic book.” Hortensia mumbled when Eve had finally left the room for the 8th time in the last hour. “What if she expects me to know what to do next times there’s a problem?” 

 

“I think she’s just surprised you beat her to it.” Matilda said. “She didn’t even realize I was choking until you said something.” She was even more surprised than Eve. Hadn’t she just been fanaticizing about smacking her for not paying attention to her surrounds? And speaking of smacking… 

 

Matilda gingerly rubbed at her upper belly and grimaced. While some of the thrusts had hit their intended target, others had not. Two of Hortensia’s blows had been too high and to the left, landing themselves directly into the bottom of her rib cage. Instead of keeping her fists in place, Hortensia had essentially assaulted her stomach and ribs with a barrage of punches followed by her lifting Matilda into the air in what Matilda could only guess was an attempt to crack her like a glow stick. Yet the physical pain she was in was a welcome change. It gave her mind something else to think about. Now the lump in her throat had all but disappeared, and she had been able to find her voice again. 

 

 When Eve came into the room again a half hour later, the longest she had gone without checking on them, Matilda asked if she had heard anything from Miss Honey. It was getting late and Matilda wanted nothing more than to climb into bed. 

“Oh, yes, Mrs. Rodgers had called while you were asleep earlier. They’re keeping her overnight for observation.” Matilda was about to ask why she hadn’t been given the phone, but Eve chimed in answering the question before the words could leave her mouth. “She told me not to wake you.” 

 

Her heart gave a small twinge of pain as the voice in the back of her head reminded her she was being left out again. 

 

“Did she say anything else?” 

 

 “Miss Honey wants you to know she loves you.” Matilda’s head shot up.

 

“You talked to her?” 

 

“No, Mrs. Rodgers said she was under sedation.” Matilda lowered her head.

 

“Oh.” she said, feeling disappointed. “Then it wasn’t really her who said it.” 

 

“She told me a little bit of what happened. She said you walked in on Miss Honey having some kind of episode, and it scared you.” Matilda looked away. She didn’t want to talk about this. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself before changing the subject. 

 

“Am I staying here?” 

 

“Yes, I’ll make a spot for you on the couch. Let’s see, first things first,” Eve flipped up Matilda’s shirt, in what Matilda could only guess was to check the diaper, but she saw eyes begin to travel up. “Can you take this off?” she asked. Matilda eyed Hortensia, the idea of being seen in nothing but a diaper was about as appealing as trying to eat another piece of pork chop, but the older girl's attention was transfixed to the tv screen. When Matilda began grimacing in pain, Eve stepped in and helped. 

 

“Ooh,” Eve said with a grimace of her own. She looked Matilda up and down. “Was that from earlier?” Matilda nodded. It was about the only body part she could move without causing her core to ache. “How am I going to explain this to your mom?” she groaned. “She’s going to think I beat you. Does it hurt?”

 

“It’s a bit sore when I move. OW, no, don’t touch it!” Eve let out a sigh. 

 

“Somehow you always manage to get hurt here. I don’t think you’ve broken anything, I think it’s just bruised. Even if you do have a cracked rib, there’s nothing that can be done for it but rest and time. At this rate, I’ll feel fortunate to give you back with all your fingers and toes.” 

 

“Better than being dead.” Matilda said.

 

“Yes, very much so, but you’re not supposed to look like you’ve been given chest compressions from abdominal thrusts. The saying ‘If you’re not breaking ribs you’re not doing it right’ is only meant to refer to CPR.” Matilda hissed in pain and smacked Eve’s hand away when she began pressing on the purple raised spot again.

 

“It’s like I got CPR from the back.”

 

“What? Like ass to mouth resuscitation?” Hortensia said with a snicker. 

 

“You better watch that mouth of yours.” Eve said with a shake of her head. “Cynthia’s coming over tomorrow morning to check in while I’m at work. You remember what happened last time?”

 

“Ugh, why?” Hortensia complained.  “It was her stupid fat kid's fault.” she grumbled. In the midst of arguing with her daughter, Eve proceeded to rip the tapes off Matilda’s diaper. While quite glad to be out of the sweaty thing, Matilda did not appreciate being stripped naked in the living room for all to see. 

 

“Hey!” she shouted, quickly bending to cover herself before immediately regretting it. 

 

“Sorry, dear, I keep forgetting you’re not one of my patients.” 

 

“Don’t you work with old people?” Matilda asked skeptically. 

 

“Yes, but they're not always with it. Some have dementia, some have hearing loss, so you have to be very firm and direct with them, or they won’t hear or understand you.‘Tens is always after me to use my inside voice. And none of them bat an eye when they come strolling out to dinner in their birthday suit. What?” 

 

Matilda was gripping her side in pain, but she couldn’t stop laughing. All this time she was afraid Eve had been treating her like a baby, but it was the exact opposite. She was treating her like a geriatric. She couldn’t stop picturing herself bent over with a walker and searching for her dentures, which only made her laugh more. 

 

“You broke her.” Hortensia said. 

 

“Says the person who tried to snap her in half.” 

 

“G-get off my lawn!” Matilda said shaking a fist before doubling over from the pain of laughing as she gasped for breath. 

 

“Yep, she’s broken.” 

 

“Alright, I’m glad you're feeling better, but let's calm down before you hurt yourself more. Do you think you can make it to the bathroom on your own or do you need help?” 

 

“I need my walker!” Matilda said, now silently shaking from the effort of holding in suppressed giggles. 

 

“Okay silly, I’ll be your walker, give me your hands, up we go.” Matilda groaned in pain as she was lifted to a standing position, all thoughts of modesty gone. “Go potty, then I’ll give you something for the pain. Do you need help?” Matilda shook her head and slowly hobbled over to go take care of business, not fond of how much it hurt to get on and off the toilet. 

 

Once she was done, she peeked her head out the bathroom door. She didn’t care for the thought of streaking back into the living room, so she yelled out she was done. 

 

“Meet me in ‘Tens room. I’ll be there in a minute.” came the reply. 

 

When Matilda got to the bed, she discovered a problem. She couldn’t pull herself up. The more she tried, the more sharp pains greeted her with every breath. Matilda stood awkwardly to the side, and waited for Eve to get her something to wear. She eyed a towel on the ground she could cover up with, but she quickly found bending over was as impossible as pulling herself up. She let out a growl of frustration. 

 

When Eve finally made her way back, she was carrying the diaper from before in one hand and a small medicine cup of red liquid in the other. Matilda quickly downed it without hesitating before making a face. Children’s Cherry flavored Tylenol. She recognized the taste from the last time she was here with a fever. 

 

“I wish my patients were as good about taking their medicine as you are.” Eve said taking the cup from her. “Now let’s get this back on you. Hop up on the bed.” 

 

“I can’t. It hurts too much. Can’t I go without it? I don’t need them anymore, I swear!” Matilda said taking a reflexive step back. 

 

“Tell you what, put this on tonight, and you can take it off in the morning. You’ve had one disaster after another today. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit, previous bed wetter or not, if you didn’t make it through the night. I wouldn’t blame you one bit, so how about we save both of us the stress of ‘what if’s’ and you just worry about getting a good night sleep. ” When Matilda didn’t answer, Eve added, “They're all the rage at the nursing home.” causing her to crack a smile. 

 

“Fine.” Matilda grumbled. She knew even if she said no, Eve was just going to do it by force. She whimpered from the pain as she was picked up and laid down. 

 

“The medicine will kick in soon.” Eve said to reassure her as she pinned the old diaper back on with bobby pins. “There, all done. I’ve made you a spot to sleep on the couch.” She offered a hand up to Matilda, but she hesitated. 

 

“Can I sleep here?” Matilda asked softly. The thought of trying to get off the bed made her break out in a sweat. 

 

“No, sorry, I can’t have Hortensia sleep out there, she’ll stay up all night watching tv.” Matilda pointed to the tv in her room. “It doesn’t get the channels she watches. You didn’t have a problem sleeping on the couch earlier. What’s wrong?” 

 

“I can’t get down. It’s my arthritis.” Matilda said with a slight smile. 

 

“Very funny.” Eve said, before bending down and scooping her up behind her neck and knees and carrying her fireman style back to the couch. “You’ve got water, pillows, blankets, anything else you need before I turn out the lights?” Matilda shook her head and nestled underneath the blankets. “Hortensia! No, turn off the tv, and go to your room.”

 

“But it’s not even nine!” Hortensia complained. “I can’t sleep this early!” 

 

“You don’t have to go to bed, just go in your room, so Matilda can sleep in peace. Go read one of your little picture books you like so much.” Matilda buried her face in the blanket to hide the snicker while Hortensia ground her teeth.

 

“They’re comic books. Com-ics!” 

 

“Yes, yes, whatever.” Eve said while following her daughter down the hall before flicking off the lights, leaving Matilda alone in the dark. “Good night,” she heard called out before two doors closed. 

 

Matilda laid there for a moment lost in thought. How long had it been since she got to sleep alone? This was kind of nice. She closed her eyes and listened to the sound of…nothing. No one was breathing next to her, or sleep talking. No one was hogging the blankets. When was the last time? The Trunchbull’s crazed face as she tried to strangle her entered her mind. Matilda eyes sprang open. That was the last time she had slept in an empty room. 

 

Now Matilda didn’t feel so alone, and not in a good way. She scanned the darkness for threats. 

 

“Think about the good things,” she whispered to herself. No bed hogs, no fighting over blankets, no Miss Honey trying to attack her in her sleep. Matilda frowned. No Miss Honey to hold her.  No Miss Honey to talk about her day with. No Miss Honey. 

 

Matilda forced her eyes closed, ignoring the moisture now spilling from them, and quietly cried herself to sleep. 

 

When Matilda awoke again, the room was still dark and empty. She turned her head and stared at the digital clock on the VCR. It was only 3:30 in the morning. She shuffled her feet as she realized what had awakened her. Matilda quietly groaned in annoyance. She had to pee. Couldn’t it wait till morning? She tried to go back to sleep, but found it was impossible. Fine, you win, she thought. The sooner she got up and went to the bathroom, the sooner she could snuggle back under the covers. Only, when she tried to sit up, she was met with an excruciating stab of pain that made her sink back down on the pillow at once. 

 

It took Matilda a moment to focus on her bearings. She slowly tried to inch herself back up but froze. The most she could do was get herself into a sitting position by leaning her back against the arm rest before the pain won out. The Tylenol had clearly worn off, and now she sat unsure of what to do. She really needed the bathroom now, but she couldn’t get up without help, and help was still sleeping. 

 

Matilda looked again at the clock. What time would they get up on a Sunday? 7:00 am? 8:00 am? What if they slept in? Four more hours at best. Matilda began to panic. She couldn’t wait that long! It was actually starting to hurt to hold it in. She’d have to figure out a way to get herself up, but try as she might, the pain was only getting worse each time she hoisted herself up or tried to turn her torso. It left no other choice. She’d have to call out for help and hope someone heard her. 

 

Would Eve be angry if she woke her up? Matilda gripped the front of the dry diaper and squeezed. She couldn’t hold it in this way like she could with regular underwear. There was too much padding. There was another thought. She could just pretend she wet the bed. Eve had said she wouldn’t be surprised or angry. Miss Honey had made her use them before. It would be easy enough to just…let go. 

 

Matilda made a face of disgust. What was she thinking about? She loathed sitting in her own urine. Besides, she had to prove she didn’t need these things anymore, and there was something even more shameful about having an accident while she was awake. 

 

“Hello?” Matilda finally moaned into the empty air. “I need help!” She waited, but no one came. She tried again. Nothing. Now she was starting to sob. “Please! Anyone!” 

 

Finally, she heard a door begin to creep open as heavy footsteps began to approach. 

 

“Is that you making all that noise?” A half asleep Hortensia asked. 

 

“I need the bathroom, but I can’t get up on my own.” Matilda said. 

 

“Why not?” Hortensia mumbled. 

 

“Because my side hurts!” Matilda said. “Pull me up.” Matilda let out a howl of pain as Hortensia tried to get her up. “Stop! Stop!” Matilda begged, clutching her side. 

 

“I’ll get Ma.” Hortensia said before shuffling back down the hall. Matilda waited and squirmed in place, but instead of Eve, only Hortensia emerged looking sheepish. “She told me to give you some more Tylenol.” Matilda watched her pour out the medicine before coming back and handing it to her. Matilda downed it and handed the cup back.

 

“Is she coming?” Matilda asked. 

 

“No,” Hortensia said avoiding eye contact. 

 

“But I need the bathroom!” Matilda nearly cried. 

 

“Yeah, she said if you’re in that much pain to just, umm, go in the diaper.” Matilda let out a horrified whimper. “Sorry,” Hortensia said. “Maybe you’ll be able to get up once the Tylenol kicks in?” Hortensia was about to leave, but Matilda stopped her. 

 

“Don’t leave!” Matilda nearly shouted before she could stop herself. “Could you stay and try and get me up again if I can’t?” 

 

“I’m tired.” Hortensia complained. “I want to go back to bed.” Matilda dangled the tv remote in front of her. “Fine.” she grumbled. 

 

 Matilda had her hands balled into fists at her side as she tried to focus on the screen. Each attempt to get up every five to ten minutes was only met with more pain. Hortensia kept looking from the screen back to Matilda. Finally, Hortensia sighed and turned off the tv. 

 

“Dude, c’mon, it can’t be that bad.” Hortensia said.

 

“You broke my rib! Yes, it hurts that bad!” Matilda said with tears running down her face. 

 

“I didn’t mean that, I meant, uhh, you know…” Hortensia mumbled. “Wouldn’t it just be easier to…”

 

“No!” Matilda hissed, shooting her a death glare. “Try and pick me up again.” 

 

“Dude, no, I’m just going to hurt you more.” 

 

“Please, I- I can’t-” 

 

They both jumped when they heard the other bedroom door swing open. 

 

“Hortensia! You better not be out there watching television! Get back to bed!” Eve shouted. Hortensia flashed an apologetic look before shuffling back down the hall. “Get the wipes and a clean diaper from your closet while you’re at it.” 

 

Matilda gritted her teeth as Eve approached. She didn’t need a new diaper, she just needed up! 

 

She had to cover her eyes as Eve flipped on the light switch. Eve was standing there in a brown bathrobe looking as bleary-eyed and exhausted as Hortensia had been.

 

“Alright, let’s get you situated, so we can all go back to bed.” she mumbled. 

 

“I just need help up!” Matilda said with urgency as she squirmed underneath the blankets. 

 

“Matilda,” Eve said sounding a bit annoyed. “Didn’t ‘Tens tell you what I wanted you to do?” 

 

“No,” Matilda moaned.

 

“‘No’ ‘Tens didn’t tell you or ‘No’ you’re not going to do it?” Matilda glared at her defiantly. “You better wipe that look off your face, young lady.” 

 

“Why won’t you help me?” Matilda cried.

 

“I’m trying to help you, but you’re making this very difficult.” Eve said sounding very tired. 

 

“This isn’t helping! All I need is to be put on my feet!” 

 

“And then what, hmm? How do you expect to get on and off the toilet if you can’t get on and off the couch?” 

 

“You helped me earlier.” Matilda said looking away.

 

“Matilda,” Eve said before taking a breath and running a hand down her face. “This is why I had you wear a diaper during the night, because I didn’t think you’d make it to the morning.”

 

“I don’t wet the bed anymore.” Matilda said. “I told you that!” 

 

“You’re supposed to be the genius here, I didn’t think I needed to spell it out for you. When I said It was okay if you did, it was supposed to be an invitation, not a challenge to prove me wrong. I had you wear it for this very reason in case you woke up and couldn’t manage by yourself, so you could just relieve yourself and go back to sleep. ” Matilda wrinkled her face in disgust.

 

“Then you’d just think I wet the bed.” 

 

“Matilda, I wouldn’t have cared as long as there wasn’t a mess for me to deal with.” 

 

 “I’d care, especially if you told Miss Honey.” Matilda mumbled, “but it’s not like she wants me anymore.” 

 

“Is that what this is all about? You don’t want me telling your mom?” Matilda sniffled before slowly nodding her head. Eve sighed.

 

“And if I promised this stays between us? Then would you go? Please? I can’t keep picking you up, I have a bad back, and it’s really acting up tonight.” 

 

“Why didn’t you just say that to begin with?” Matilda asked. “I would have done it if I knew you were in pain.” 

 

“Why isn’t your own pain motivation enough?” Eve asked with a shake of her head, but Matilda could tell she looked much less annoyed.   

 

“Because I’d rather hurt outside than inside.” she mumbled, before hiding herself underneath the blanket. She tried to relax, but her body refused to listen. Matilda let out an annoyed huff. She had been on the verge of losing control mere seconds ago, but now that it was okay, her bladder refused to empty. No one would listen to her. Not even her own body. She couldn’t seem to do anything right. 

 

“You don’t need to cry, shh, come on out, and I’ll help you get cleaned up.” Matilda stayed where she was. Crying seemed to be all she was good for. “Matilda.” She felt the blanket getting lifted off her head, but it only made her cry harder. She wanted to curl into a ball, but she couldn’t. “Are you all done going potty?” 

 

“I c-can’t!” It was hurting to breath. “I want to, but I can’t, and it hurts, and I don’t want to make you mad, but it’s all I seem to do is make people mad.” Now she could feel all the blankets getting pulled off. 

 

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m not mad, see? Try and take some deep breaths for me, okay? Maybe you’re just too upset now.” She could feel Eve brushing her hair back. She wanted to pull away, but there was nowhere to go. Matilda batted her hand away. That was Miss Honey’s thing she did for her and now…and now… Was this the disgust Miss Honey felt when looking at her? Is this what she felt when Matilda had touched her? 

 

Matilda couldn’t take this feeling anymore. She needed to feel something else. Anything else! She forced her torso and legs around into an upright sitting position and yelled out in pain. 

 

“Matilda, what are you doing!? Stop it! Lay down, you’re hurting yourself!” 

 

“It’s better.” Matilda said, still sobbing.

 

“No, it’s not! What are you talking about?” 

 

“It’s better than the other pain.” she moaned. 

 

“What other pain?” Matilda pointed at her chest. “Well of course your chest hurts.” Matilda shook her head. “I don’t understand. Is it your heart? Does your heart hurt?” Matilda slowly nodded. “Did someone break your heart?” Matilda nodded again. “Who?” 

 

“Miss Honey.” 

 

She hadn’t planned on telling anyone about what had happened, especially not Eve, but the next thing she knew, she found herself pouring her heart out, from being locked in the room, to the look of disgust in Miss Honey’s eyes, to the absolute terror that consumed her at the thought of going back to the loveless life she had lived after being shown how wonderful it could feel to be wanted. 

 

“That’s certainly not like Jennifer, but Matilda, I can absolutely promise she loves you. I don’t think anything is ever going to change that.” Eve said after quietly listening to her lament. 

 

“But you weren’t there! You didn’t see the look she gave me!” 

 

“You’re right, I wasn’t there, but Mrs. Rodger’s said she was having some kind of episode. I don’t know what she meant by that, but it’s clear to me, she wasn’t acting like herself. She may not have been aware of her surroundings, or who she was talking to. If it’s anything like the ‘episodes’ I see the patients go through, there’s no telling when or where she thought she was.”

 

“I guess.” Matilda mumbled. 

 

“I promise. She is not going to send you away. All we can do is hope she’s getting the help she needs right now, so you don’t get caught in the crosshairs again. I can see this has deeply affected you. I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to take it personally. We’ve all done things we didn’t mean to when we were scared or upset, even adults.” 

 

Matilda turned her head and stared at the newly replaced back patio door feeling a pang of guilt. She had done plenty of things she hadn’t meant to under emotional duress. 

 

“Oww, don’t.” Matilda whined, blocking her stomach from the sudden invading prods. 

 

“Dear, not to change the subject, but I really need you to go pee. It's worrying me that you need to but can’t. Do you think it’s a mental thing? I know you don’t want to go in the diaper. Do you think that’s what the problem is?” 

 

Matilda shrugged in response and cradled her lower belly. The fullness was starting to ache. 

 

“Because I’d much rather it be a mental problem than a physical one. I can work around a mental one. I still don’t think it’s a good idea to take you to the restroom, because I may not be able to help you on and off the toilet without hurting you even more.” Matilda hung her head. “But, do you think you can walk if I manage to get you on your feet?” Matilda nodded eagerly. “Do you think you’d have an easier time if you stood in the grass out back?” 

 

Matilda could feel her face flush, but it was still better than peeing on herself. It always burned her skin and no matter how well she was wiped down, she never felt clean until she took a bath. 

 

“It might, but what about your back?” 

 

“I’d rather have peace of mind knowing it’s nothing more serious. I was more concerned about dropping you onto the hard toilet. At least this way, you’ll only fall back on the couch if my back spasms while lifting you.”

 

“What happened to it?” 

 

“My back? I was hit by a car as a teen.” Matilda grimaced. “Make sure you look both ways while crossing the street, are you ready? Lift out your arms.”  They both grunted in pain, but they managed. 

 

Yes! She was on her feet! And she was walking, albeit while holding on to Eve’s arm, but she was doing it! Just a few more steps and… no! No. No. No. Matilda let out a soft whimper. She stopped walking and crossed her legs. Not now, not after all that work of getting her up! 

 

“What? What is it? Are you in pain? Do you need a break or…”  She saw Eve’s eyes searching for the source of the hissing sound until they stopped on her waist. She felt a hand give her shoulder a pat. “Just let it happen, dear, it’s alright, uncross your legs. There’s a good girl. ” 

 

“I’m sorry!” Matilda groaned before averting her eyes. With a grimace, she stood as still as a statue, helpless to stop the flow of urine now surging out like water from a pressure hose into the rapidly expanding padding.   She wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved or disgusted. Would Eve be angry she had gotten her up for nothing? Clearly there was diddly squat keeping her from peeing now. 

 

“There isn’t anything to be sorry for, you go on and finish.” 

 

It felt like one of the awkwardest minutes of Matilda’s life as she stood there, legs now forced apart from the swollen garment. Was she done? She couldn’t tell. The noise had stopped, but everything was just so warm and wet against her skin. Ick. She hated this feeling. Eve was rubbing circles on her back now. At least she wasn’t angry. 

 

“All done? Ready to go back?” Matilda nodded her head and gave one last scowl towards the backyard. She couldn’t have held it another minute? 

 

“Gross. Gross. Gross.” Matilda chanted with every step. 

 

“I’ll get you fixed up and into something dry. I’m just glad you were able to go. Maybe it had to do with the way you were sitting and walking loosened up your muscles.” 

 

“I don’t want to do this again.” Matilda complained as she slowly lowered herself back on the couch with Eve’s help. 

 

“I know you don’t, and hopefully you won’t be in as much pain. It’s going to be up to Cynthia tomorrow though on what to do. You need to be a good girl for her and do as she says, even if you don’t like it.” Matilda shuddered as her bottom half was exposed to the cold air. “If she wants you to use diapers, I don’t want you arguing with her.  If she can help you get to the bathroom, that’s fine, but I’m going to ask her to stay in there with you.” 

 

“What? No!” Matilda protested. 

 

“Honey, no offense, but I’ve never met a more accident-prone child than you, and I’m not talking about what comes out. I need to give you back to Miss Honey in one piece and so far, we’re off to a terrible start. Brace yourself this is going to be cold.”    

 

Matilda grimaced as she felt herself getting wiped down. No matter how many times she went through this, it never got easier. 

 

“I don’t want some stranger watching me use the bathroom or changing me.” Matilda grumbled.

 

“Would you rather ‘Tens do it?” Eve asked, eye-brows raised.

 

“NO!” Matilda nearly shouted. 

 

“I didn’t think so.” she said with a smirk. “There, all done, was that really so bad?” 

 

 “Yes,” Matilda said, arms crossed over her chest. 

 

“Oh, stop pouting, you’ll be fine. A few wet diapers won’t hurt you.” Eve said as she spread the blanket over her. Matilda wanted to argue, but all she could manage was a large yawn. “Go back to sleep, I’ll check on you in the morning before I leave for work.” 

 

Matilda sighed as the lights were flicked off, and she was left alone once again. There was something about being in a diaper that made her feel so small and helpless. She felt like she was stuck in a never ending cycle of getting hurt or sick and ending back up in diapers no matter how hard she tried to stay out of them. Did other kids go through the same thing? She never heard anyone mention it before, but maybe it was just one of those things everyone went through but no one talked about. Matilda couldn’t be the only one this unlucky. Hopefully she wouldn’t be in this much pain come tomorrow. She let out another yawn, glad to be comfortable once again, and looked at the time. It was 3:50 in the morning. She was asleep before the clock struck four. 

 

[Guilend]

I wonder if her mom is staying in the hospital or if they just scheduled her outpatient and is staying with her friend for the night.  I feel bad for Matilda, the next day is going to be brutal for her. I have a feeling that woman will just keep her in diapers and not be overly nice about it or sensitive to Matilda’s feelings or anything she says. 

[kerry]

11 hours ago, SashaButters said:

“G-get off my lawn!” Matilda said shaking a fist before doubling over from the pain of laughing as she gasped for breath. 

I'm laughing picturing this!

[BabySofia]

Hopefully Honey gets out of the situation quickly and there are no repercussions for her adoption of Matilda. I suspect Matilda may be more injured than they realize yet... 

[SashaButters]

On 10/23/2022 at 8:27 AM, kerry said:

I'm laughing picturing this!

Thanks ^^ 

 

How do you link your stories under your name like that?

[BabySofia]

2 hours ago, SashaButters said:

How do you link your stories under your name like that?

Create a signature in the account settings section.