Hold it or go with the flow?

[Kittytrain]

 Hey folks.

I'm currently experiencing a constant feeling of needing to go for a wee due to being stressed out at the moment.

I'm being checked out with the Doc to rule out underlying causes but until then I'm after a bit of advice.

I can just about hold it in but it's a constant fight and seems to be never ending. but if I just give in and wet at the first urge then it's just easier and I can concentrate on the rest of my life!

Anyone else had a situation like this? If so, what did you do and what was the outcome?

Should I hold on or just go with the flow? ?

[rusty pins]

Do you want to eventually lose the ability to control your bladder?  If so, then go with the flow.  Otherwise, hold it and go to the bathroom when you can.  Holding your urine when you have to go will keep the sphincter muscles strong, otherwise they will weaken and you might have uncontrollable wetting issues and the inability to hold your urine.

[Kittytrain]

The problem is I can't seem to hold it for very long atm so I'll be constantly in the loo! ?

Not sure I'd be aiming to lose control but I guess it wouldn't happen overnight.

I have strong sphincter muscles currently but I'm having to hold on so hard because I'm getting urgency to such a level that I can't concentrate on anything else.

Not holding on means I can get on with life currently and seems easier just now, but yeah, I'm hoping this situation doesn't carry on too long before I find out what the doctor thinks and I have to make a decision, whatever that may be.

Thanks for the input though.

[stevewet]

I just gave up fighting it and have been in nappies for the last 8 years.

[Kittytrain]

30 minutes ago, stevewet said:

I just gave up fighting it and have been in nappies for the last 8 years.

What led you to the decision to accept it in the end? Did you have any doubts? Any regrets?

What were the advantages for you when you went into nappies? If you don't mind me asking? ?

[Firefly 35]

16 hours ago, Kittytrain said:

 Hey folks.

I'm currently experiencing a constant feeling of needing to go for a wee due to being stressed out at the moment.

I'm being checked out with the Doc to rule out underlying causes but until then I'm after a bit of advice.

I can just about hold it in but it's a constant fight and seems to be never ending. but if I just give in and wet at the first urge then it's just easier and I can concentrate on the rest of my life!

Anyone else had a situation like this? If so, what did you do and what was the outcome?

Should I hold on or just go with the flow? ?

@Kittytrain It's possible this is just due to stress.  If there isn't anything medically wrong, try doing something to de-stress each day and see if it helps.

[Kittytrain]

21 minutes ago, Firefly 35 said:

@Kittytrain It's possible this is just due to stress.  If there isn't anything medically wrong, try doing something to de-stress each day and see if it helps.

That's kinda what I'm hoping it turns out to be. ?

So far, giving in and letting it come at first twinge has helped with the stress of trying to hold it back, which hopefully will be the first step in the right direction as it's definitely not been making it easier! ?

But yes I need to work on my stress levels generally.

[stevewet]

8 hours ago, Kittytrain said:

What led you to the decision to accept it in the end? Did you have any doubts? Any regrets?

What were the advantages for you when you went into nappies? If you don't mind me asking? ?

I was slowly becoming incontinent. My continence nurse had given me various bladder control excersises to do. They didn't work and it was just so hard to stay dry so as I was already wearing nappies at night as I was wetting the bed most nights. I just started wearing them during the day and gave up trying to stay dry. Life is just esier. Now I am more or less completely urinary incontinent but honestly I no longer worry about it and just rely on nappies. I have no regrets at all.

[Kittytrain]

I'm definitely finding it simpler to not fight it atm, it was getting in the way of everything else.

As regards to you embracing wearing it's nice to hear a positive voice about nappies making life easier, and looking at your profile it actually being a positive enjoyable experience for you! ?

I'm hoping, if it comes to it, that I can see possible permanent plastic pantage as something positive too! ☺️

[rusty pins]

It's also possible it can be caused by what you are eating or drinking.  There have been times (still now and then to this day) where I have had to go pee every 20 or so minutes, mostly in the morning.  Even 20 years ago I would get to work some days and have to go pee every 20 minutes the urge was so strong.  I had a friend at work who was the same way.  Not all the time, just once in a while, maybe once or twice every 3 or 4 weeks.  Then I would be back to normal a day later. 

I have no idea why because I usually don't change my diet, but things can happen.  I've heard people say your body doesn't produce as much urine at night as it does in the day, but I think that is opposite for me.  I seem to get up to pee a lot at night.  Because I get up sometimes as much a 5 or 6 times at night to pee, I have a portable urine container I pee in so I'm not running to the bathroom.  Some nights it gets so full I have had to empty it a couple hours before I get up for the day because I'm still having to pee, other times it's less than half full when I get up.  It also seems I sometimes pee more frequently the last couple hours before I get up for the day.  It could be stress, but maybe there are times when your body just produces much more urine than other times and you have to get rid of it.  It could be your body flushing out extra wastes that have accumulated, high sugar content in your blood or you have more water build up in your tissues and body that needs to be removed than usual.  See what your doctor tells you.

[Kittytrain]

I'm pretty stable and clean living in my diet as I have certain things I have to avoid already for other problems but I shall mention it next time I'm meeting my Doc. Plus this has seemed more consistent than if I'd consumed something that hadn't agreed with me. But you never know, and things that I've eaten have suddenly become trigger foods for me in the past (but never affected my bladder before) ?

I've been pretty good overnight so far and it's definitely worse during the day, 5-6 times a night would kill me! I guess you probably don't have to wake much if you do it most nights but I don't think I'd get much sleep. ? Hope you've got yourself checked though and it's just how your bladder is now.

I'm still leaning towards stress as the main culprit but we'll see what the doc says and take it from there I guess? Hopefully I'm just a bit mad (?) just now and if I can't solve that one speedily then a term in nappies to help cope with it isn't the worst outcome for me. I just hope it doesn't take the fun out of nappies for me and become a chore or a burden. This is my longest stint of 24/7 and so far I've been pretty cool with it but we shall see where it goes! ?

 

[~Brian~]

@Kittytrain

I would not worry about much: Unless you think that something is medically causing your issues, and you think that changes are necessary.  I would talk to your doctor, and rule out any problems such as infections, blockages, etc, and make sure that what you are doing is not causing the issues you are experiencing.

 

10 hours ago, Kittytrain said:

I'm definitely finding it simpler to not fight it atm, it was getting in the way of everything else.

As regards to you embracing wearing it's nice to hear a positive voice about nappies making life easier, and looking at your profile it actually being a positive enjoyable experience for you! ?

I'm hoping, if it comes to it, that I can see possible permanent plastic pantage as something positive too! ☺️

Wearing diapers 24/7 was the way I chose to deal with incontinence, IBS and Diverticulitis.  You may find that wearing is easier than fighting the battles when you are either trying to NOT wet or mess, or when you are in a situation where stress causes you to release.  It is NOT uncommon for people to suffer from incontinence, and it sounds like stressful situations make it worse, but you may find diapers to be a GODSEND like I did, because I got the Megamax By North Shore, and I also have Garywear Incontinence Briefs:  I always wear them both when I am sleeping or when I am working, as I use a wheelchair, and mobility is hard for me, due to CP.  

Wearing diapers is a pain sometimes, but I believe that you will find that it is easier to use a diaper when needed, rather than to wet or mess without warning.  There are other members here that also deal with incontinence, so you are NOT alone: If you have the proper diapers, and plastic pants, you should be OK:  You just have to make sure the diaper is the right one, the right size, and that it can deal with what you release.

8 hours ago, Kittytrain said:

I'm pretty stable and clean living in my diet as I have certain things I have to avoid already for other problems but I shall mention it next time I'm meeting my Doc. Plus this has seemed more consistent than if I'd consumed something that hadn't agreed with me. But you never know, and things that I've eaten have suddenly become trigger foods for me in the past (but never affected my bladder before) ?

I've been pretty good overnight so far and it's definitely worse during the day, 5-6 times a night would kill me! I guess you probably don't have to wake much if you do it most nights but I don't think I'd get much sleep. ? Hope you've got yourself checked though and it's just how your bladder is now.

I'm still leaning towards stress as the main culprit but we'll see what the doc says and take it from there I guess? Hopefully I'm just a bit mad (?) just now and if I can't solve that one speedily then a term in nappies to help cope with it isn't the worst outcome for me. I just hope it doesn't take the fun out of nappies for me and become a chore or a burden. This is my longest stint of 24/7 and so far I've been pretty cool with it but we shall see where it goes! ?

 

I would defintely see the doctor, and tell him of your concerns:  I did, and I feel better about it all around.  There is NO SHAME in wearing or using diapers:  Once you have the system down, it will be a breeze:  I DO ADVISE that if you have to go really bad, that you should NOT hold it so long that it hurts, or that it causes you to flood out your diaper - proper protection is essential, and once you have your system down, you are OK:  IF you are wearing diapers, and you feel the need to release, DON'T FORCE yourself to hold:  Just release, and the diaper should allow you to absorb the void: Holding when you really have to void can hurt yourself!

Feel free to respond here, and follow me if you wish

Take Care, and Welcome to Daily Diapers

Brian

[Kittytrain]

Thanks for your supportive words Brian.

As I said I'm getting checked out to rule out anything bad being the cause, I'm just waiting for the results from my doctor at the moment and I shall see what she finds and suggests.

I suspect it will be a temporary thing, but if it turns out not to be then I intend to try and make the best of it. I have no shame about it, a little embarrassment maybe, but not shame.  I have no shame about having to wear glasses to allow me to read as I've gotten older, so I'm going to try and take the same attitude with my underwear! ?  The only difference is society's attitude to adults wearing Nappies and hopefully that is changing slowly as the population gets older.

I'm trying not to hold as that makes life easier but I have many years of training in not doing that so sometimes I find I've been unconsciously holding and then the urge comes on super strong and I worry that I'll flood so have to rush to the loo hoping that I don't leak on the way!

Learning to trust my nappy is hard though, I'm worried about leaks or 'squish out' when I sit down, I know there's going to be some accidents but it's hard to accept sometimes and although I'm not worried if someone sees a little bit of waistband being visible if I stretch or bend over, that's just going to happen at somepoint, I am Incontinent at the moment and nappies are sensible, required and needed just now, but having a visible wet patch on your clothes is embarrassing and not something I'm going to be happy about. Hopefully the trial and occasional error period will be fairly short. ?

 

[WetDad]

Hi Kittytrain,

As each of us incons have found out, getting to the right nappy takes some work. Over a year's time I went from pads to bigger pads to pullups to store nappies to better nappies. It took me a long time to understand that the only trustworthy absorbent wear is the "better diapers" (or nappies) that are found on the ABDL and IC forums like this place. You won't find any of these in stores, but on the internet they can be found and shipped to your house. That means you can't trust anything from Tesco/Boots. I would suggest that you start with the thickest most absorbent ones you can get. You can always back off if they last too long. Usually never happens, but we are all different. Buy a pack at a time until you find something you feel comfortable with, then start buying in cases.

We can help you with all the assorted issues of coming to terms with your new underwear. Choosing larger clothes, darker colors, etc. is all part of the routine.

[~Brian~]

On 10/14/2020 at 6:20 AM, Kittytrain said:

Thanks for your supportive words Brian.

As I said I'm getting checked out to rule out anything bad being the cause, I'm just waiting for the results from my doctor at the moment and I shall see what she finds and suggests.

I suspect it will be a temporary thing, but if it turns out not to be then I intend to try and make the best of it. I have no shame about it, a little embarrassment maybe, but not shame.  I have no shame about having to wear glasses to allow me to read as I've gotten older, so I'm going to try and take the same attitude with my underwear! ?  The only difference is society's attitude to adults wearing Nappies and hopefully that is changing slowly as the population gets older.

I'm trying not to hold as that makes life easier but I have many years of training in not doing that so sometimes I find I've been unconsciously holding and then the urge comes on super strong and I worry that I'll flood so have to rush to the loo hoping that I don't leak on the way!

Learning to trust my nappy is hard though, I'm worried about leaks or 'squish out' when I sit down, I know there's going to be some accidents but it's hard to accept sometimes and although I'm not worried if someone sees a little bit of waistband being visible if I stretch or bend over, that's just going to happen at somepoint, I am Incontinent at the moment and nappies are sensible, required and needed just now, but having a visible wet patch on your clothes is embarrassing and not something I'm going to be happy about. Hopefully the trial and occasional error period will be fairly short. ?

 

@Kittytrain

You are VERY WELCOME - I've been wearing for about a year, so I am familiar with strategies to deal with wear and use of diapers

I am glad to hear that you will be getting checked out to rule out anything unusual.  As I said, Diapers are NOT the end of the world, and I can tell ya that there are people who HAVE to wear out of necessity, because of incontinence, and some of these people don't identify as a AB or a DL, while others may find that they have those tendencies or feelings, or learn to accept wearing diapers, and as such may add other aspects of the lifestyle to help them deal with the situation.  This way, they make wearing or using diapers more enjoyable. 

Society makes judgements on what they think is "Mainstream" or not:  The problem is that some people want to shame you, ridicule you, chastise you, or put you down, because of the choices you make.  I am TELLING you: DO NOT WORRY about this, because if you are more comfortable wearing diapers, and you can deal with it, GO FOR IT: Enjoy it, and Embrace it - The problem is that if you are NOT disabled, or have a condition that requires you to wear diapers, there are people that shun you, and make light of it.  It is acceptable for me, having a disability, to wear because iof my incontinence and limited mobility, and no one is gonna say anything because I think they EXPECT guys/gals that use wheelchairs and other mobility equipment to be incontinent.

There are so many others that wear for comfort or psychological reasons: I believe that they may also have "disabilities" too: As I have learned over the years, Just because you do not SEE a physical characteristic of a disability, does NOT mean that it does NOT exist - Each of us with a disability fights a battle: some of these are "out in the open, and known" while others are private and known only to those closest to you.  Do not let yourself think that because you decide to wear/use diapers , that you are doing anything wrong - You have to make the decision that works for you, and diapers are not the end of the world  

 

 

On 10/14/2020 at 6:20 AM, Kittytrain said:

I'm trying not to hold as that makes life easier but I have many years of training in not doing that so sometimes I find I've been unconsciously holding and then the urge comes on super strong and I worry that I'll flood so have to rush to the loo hoping that I don't leak on the way!

Learning to trust my nappy is hard though, I'm worried about leaks or 'squish out' when I sit down, I know there's going to be some accidents but it's hard to accept sometimes and although I'm not worried if someone sees a little bit of waistband being visible if I stretch or bend over, that's just going to happen at somepoint, I am Incontinent at the moment and nappies are sensible, required and needed just now, but having a visible wet patch on your clothes is embarrassing and not something I'm going to be happy about. Hopefully the trial and occasional error period will be fairly short. ?

 

If you have to go: LET GO:  Don't try to hold it so long that you "explode and flood" because that can cause leaks and cause your clothing, and anything you are wearing or sitting on to get soaked.  If you feel it, release:  If you try to hold it in a desperate attempt to get to the toilet, you run the risk of the dam "bursting," and trying to hold back a BM is hard, and YOU WILL mess if you are not prepared: You need to have the right diaper, and the right protection.  Once you do, you should be able to get into a situation when you KNOW you will be OK.

The other thing is: Be prepared to have accidents, blowouts, to pee and poop when you least expect it, and ANYWHERE:  Carry a supply of your diapers and wipes, powder, chux, etc, and anything else you may need.  I carry a "Go Bag" that I use when out, and as long as I can get to a bathroom, I can change myself pretty well.  Don't be embarrassed, as you will have this happen, and will just know what to do and when to do it.

Good Luck!

Brian