From „Top Secret“ to „Why care about it”

[Mysterion]

When I started buying and wearing diapers and pull-ups again three years ago, I was very cautious on not showing or leaving any traces behind me.
I bought things in very remote stores or online, but only when I was sure the packet will arrive only when no family-member was at home. 
And once arrived, I hid the stuff most thoughtfully, that it was difficult to find.

Today I buy my pull-ups almost anywhere, even in shops where the shop-owner (stores, pharmacy or drug-store) probably knows me. I only try to avoid other customers if possible. 
I also order in online-stores without caring if my wife or son will sign for the packet. Only hoping, that my son doesn’t open it or starts to google the sender’s address. Some packets even have a pretty obvious seal.
For storing my diapers, pants or PVC-Pants, I now put them just in my drawers, a little hidden, but not locked anymore. Which makes it a lot easier for everyday use.

Of course, I can be very glad, that my wife accepts my “habit”. She only doesn’t know, that I wore pull-ups every day over the last one or two years. But a week ago, I started to put on pull-ups together with a PVC-pant in the morning when she sees it. And I’m so happy, that she doesn’t mind. 

Naturally, now I take the risk that someone of my family will find out. And I wonder what to tell then. Most likely I will choose the answer that I’m a little incontinent sometimes, instead of telling about my diaper- and PVC-pants fetish.

Had anyone a similar development? What would you tell someone in your family? Or what did you tell?

[le Hollandais]

What would I tell someone in my family? I honestly don't know. Because I know the first question anyone would ask is "Why?" To which I have no  logical, rational answer. "I don't know" is the real truth. But that's often offered as a lie when one doesn't want to admit to the truth, or analyze the unspoken, and deeper truth.

I prefer to keep my diaper fetish to myself.

[drynot]

I would most likely just say that I have bedwetting episodes and also struggle with incontinence during the day.  These days I buy almost exclusively on line so unless my delivery gets misplaced I don't really have to worry about the wrong people finding out.

[MinnesotaWriter]

Kink or fetish stuff should only be disclosed on a need-to-know basis. And the only person (outside of perhaps a therapist) who is going to need to know those things is the person you are dating, married to, or otherwise seeing. (On a side note, a relationship where you and your partner aren't comfortable talking about these things isn't a healthy relationship. Relationships are built on trust, and secrets degrade them).

Unless you wear diapers for a medical condition, that's the category your wearing is going to fall under.

No one outside of the ABDL community wants to know that you wear diapers. At best, their reaction is going to be indifference. That's the best you can hope for and it only goes downhill from there. You're just as likely to end up with teasing, scorn, or outright rejection. And, even if you are careful about who you choose to tell, you have no control over who they end up telling.

So yeah, folks, keep your diaper wearing to yourself. You and the rest of the world will be better off for it.

[~Brian~]

48 minutes ago, MinnesotaWriter said:

Kink or fetish stuff should only be disclosed on a need-to-know basis. And the only person (outside of perhaps a therapist) who is going to need to know those things is the person you are dating, married to, or otherwise seeing. (On a side note, a relationship where you and your partner aren't comfortable talking about these things isn't a healthy relationship. Relationships are built on trust, and secrets degrade them).

Unless you wear diapers for a medical condition, that's the category your wearing is going to fall under.

No one outside of the ABDL community wants to know that you wear diapers. At best, their reaction is going to be indifference. That's the best you can hope for and it only goes downhill from there. You're just as likely to end up with teasing, scorn, or outright rejection. And, even if you are careful about who you choose to tell, you have no control over who they end up telling.

So yeah, folks, keep your diaper wearing to yourself. You and the rest of the world will be better off for it.

@MinnesotaWriter@woelkchen-2018

I agree with everything @MinnesotaWriter says here.  UNLESS you FEEL COMFORTABLE disclosing kink/fetish information to your family or partners/SO's, I would keep that between YOU and a therapist - I also agree that you should NOT keep secrets from those whom you love or live with - This can cause troubles later on if your SO has an issue with it.  Relationships should be situations where you feel comfortable to disclose things, and there is a expectation of TRUST - If you cannot trust your partner to know this type of information, then as my mom says "It is not the relationship for you."  TRUST is the FOUNDATION of the relationship, and the LOVE and the Understanding and acceptance of a fetish or condition are the building blocks and GLUE that hold the relationship together.  Without those, you will have issues.  It is not HEALTHY for people to keep secrets from each other, because that can cause depression and a whole host of problems, because you are concentrating on NOT revealing something that is bothering you - Once you disclose it, and discuss it, you will feel much better.

As far as having a medical condition that requires you to wear or use diapers, or to deal with a condition that you decide is best dealt with by wearing/using diapers: I believe that this is a situation where acceptance is easier to obtain.  Many people have issues with incontinence: Some Bladder IC, Some Bowel IC, and some BOTH:  Some of us also have other conditions that  cause problems, such as Cerebral Palsy (CP) IBS, Crones Disease, Diverticulitis and others.  If you have a condition like these, use of diapers will be a given, and what happens for some is, that they add aspects of the AB/DL "lifestyle" because they know that they have to wear, so they figure that they might as well have fun and indulge as much as they can:  I see no problem with this, as long as you are doing it because it helps you, and your partner is accepting of the behavior.  Sometimes, partners may accept it, but not want to participate, and sometimes, they may indulge with you, but that is dependent on who it is, and how they feel about it.

If you have a condition like I stated above, diapers may be, an usually are, a necessity.  Others may have conditions where they use diapers or AB/DL "equipment" as a coping mechanism - so there are a TON of reasons people use diapers and other items.  

As far as telling someone outside the AB/DL Community that you ARE a AB. DL or identify as something else:  This is best kept within the community.  This is because as @MinnesotaWriter says, most people won't care, or they make take issue with it if you make it a point to explain it to someone else who is not as understanding.  Its FINE to tell someone close to YOU - But you have to be ready for any reaction:  Is the reaction gonna be one where someone is curious, and wants to learn about it, or is it gonna be a reaction where someone is gonna be accepting of it, and want to indulge with you or maybe not, or is it gonna be a reaction where someone is gonna shun or otherwise chastise you for the disclosure?

The answer to this question  is the one that should determine whether you disclose, To WHOM you Disclose, WHAT you disclose, and HOW you disclose.  A Disability requiring the use of incontinence products is a little different then a person who uses for fetish reasons.  However, it should be noted that I believe those who wear for comfort for physiological reasons fall into the Medical Category - Using diapers and other objects as comfort objects is not a bad thing, and is not unheard of, and as long as you're doing whatever makes you happy, in a an appropriate manner, then have FUN - ENJOY

Of course, there will ALWAYS be those who find this unorthodox, and they will have opinions that are not as "understanding" as others will be - You have to have an Open Mind, and the ability to try new things, accept change and differing prospectives - I am such a man, but I also know that there are people, as @MinnesotaWriterpoints out, that you don't NEED to tell: It would be NONE of their business: You have to decide whether the disclosure is necessary, or if you think that it is a "one and done" and it is "understood" between you and your partner. or whether you and your partner want to further discuss it.

I believe that if there is no reason to disclose use of diapers or other items, that it should remain between you, your trusted friends, and medical team members - The people that need to know (in my case) know, and others don't NEED to know - DO NOT simply tell them just to tell them - Diapers are just another choice of underwear, and that't IT - and some things are better kept secret, until there is a REASON to disclose - FULL STOP!

Brian

[rusty pins]

I've said it before.  Some people are so into the lifestyle that they give it their all, not caring who knows they wear diapers or why.  It's all part of being AB/DL to them.  If that's what floats their boat, fine.  For me, I do not want anyone I know to ever find out I like to wear diapers now and then.  I only wear a couple times a week early morning when I get up for a few hours on days I don't have to work or a few times a year when I go out of town Christmas shopping for the day.  It's my kink and I don't see any reason for telling people about it.  I wouldn't want to hear about their whips, chains and dildos or sexual play, nor about what underwear they like.  If some people get their jollies from people knowing they wear diapers or seeing them wearing or buying them, that's for them.  It's not for me and I just don't understand, even if you wear 24/7/365 why you would have to tell others or flaunt it, including wearing your baby clothes and pacifier when around family and friends.  It may be your lifestyle but you needn't share it with everyone you know.

[astrodiaper]

I’m by myself, so I don’t get too worried about someone finding my stash, but I still secure my stuff where I am able. 
As far as buying, I sill use PayPal and I track any and all shipments. I live in an apartment building and while I haven’t had anybody steal my packages, it’s not unheard of in my building either. Whenever possible, I’ll arrange for me to pick it up at the FedEx store or UPS store. 

[Jamie Kulls]

Ive gone beyond that...ive started just telling people i like to wear......and join groups on facebook that they can see on my profile about wearing diapers

[stevewet]

i've long since stopped caring who finds out I wear nappies. Most of my friend sand family know any way.

[Mysterion]

There certainly are tons of arguments against or for the disclosure of wearing diapers.

At the moment I am very happy with putting on pull-ups and PVC-pants in the morning, in front of my wife.
Instead of hiding everything in a locked suitcase, I have now a drawer, which is neatly filled up with all kinds of colored PVC-pants (no Teddy-patterns or things like this) and my standard pull-ups, only covered with a layer of T-Shirts. Depending on my mood I can now easily choose this or that color, especially as I stocked up quite a bit. 

Of course, I also worry what to tell my children if they see the things, but wonder if they see through any of my drawers at all. But at the moment it feels so necessary and right for me being “pampered”. And wetting my pants became part of me over the last couple of years.

If one of my children finds out, I will probably tell, that I’m incontinent and need to wear these things. (which in a way is true, as I feel incomplete without them.)
My kids are 16 and older and I think they won’t doubt my explanation. 
I’d only be consternated, if they’d afterwards would bring the matter of incontinence to discussion at the breakfast table, in order to help me getting rid of it…..

I think there is a certain urge in most of us to share this matter. For many of you it is this forum where you can freely exchange your thoughts. Some of you have a psychiatrist to share it with them. Others tell friends, their family or anyone about it.
So far only my wife knows it. And it feels good for me, that she accepts it and that she doesn’t mind.

I don’t deliberately tell anyone else. But I can’t deny this part of me completely, even if this means, that someone else finds out.