Every day but not 24/7

[Howdy21]

I'm not ready for 24/7, but I do wear a diaper every day. I am seeking and making progress towards conditional incontinence. That is uncontrolled wetting while diapered. Are any others working towards this? I'd appreciate your suggestions

See this http://understanding.infantilism.org/wetting_diapers.php

[DL-Boy]

2 hours ago, Howdy21 said:

I'm not ready for 24/7, but I do wear a diaper every day. I am seeking and making progress towards conditional incontinence. That is uncontrolled wetting while diapered. Are any others working towards this? I'd appreciate your suggestions

See this http://understanding.infantilism.org/wetting_diapers.php

Ask @Little Sherri and @oznl about what you're trying to accomplish.  I believe you will need to go 24/7 for at least a number of months before your brain can become conditioned to easily initiate a urine stream without thinking about it too much.  I've been on/off since August 2019 (originally part-time ABDL from 1995-2000) and I've been 24/7 for about 3 months since I was able to comfortably wear a diaper again after penile surgery in late October.  I still have issues with my bladder locking up at night where I can't easily start a stream.  I have to fool my brain by putting specific pressure in certain parts of my diaper to start a stream.  I know it's not organic but psychological.  If I stop trying so hard and start focusing on something else a little, the stream comes easier.

What I'm trying to say is, since it's mostly training your BRAIN to allow you to pee in unusual places, it's all up to frequency.  Going 2-3 months without diapers after my surgery set me back to square one and it's even harder now to start sometimes than it was before my surgery.   

Becoming conditionally incontinent is 98% mental and 2% organic.  Weakening your sphincter and making your bladder more sensitive to filling by keeping it empty helps but the majority of what it takes is in your head.

[Howdy21]

Thanks, I sent a PM to those you mentioned. Hope they weigh in.

I can already initiate a urine stream without too much thought while diapered. I think you are right greater frequency may be a help, that is wearing and wetting diapers a good deal more.

I'm a little concerned about wetting when I am not diapered.

My problem is wearing a diaper at night poses problems here at home.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

There is no such thing as "conditional incontinence". If you are incon, then you are IN(uncotrollable in any way)continent, whether you are in diapers or buck nekked. There is partial loss of control (usually physiological due to BHP). Although t;hat is colloquially called "partial incontinence" that is not accurate. "conditional" or 'partial" incontinence is like being "partially pregnant", "half dead" or "conditionally dead [no heartbeat or brain activity with no hope of recovery]". You would most likely be partially continent, like me

Before you embark upon destroying your control system, remember "be careful what you wish for, you may get it [meaning not only it, but what goes WITH it]". This is a TRADE. you are trading one set of circumstances for another. What could be so bothersome in your current state that you would want to be TIED to needing changes with all that entails and the medical issues appertaining thereto, like rashes, etc? And what would it mean if you were in a position of needing a change and note being able to get it (ran out of diapers and can't get more at this time, outside in a crowd or where a change could not be done in privacy, or out in a crowed and your diaper fails i.e. "diaper blowout", not to mention having to carry another bag around with changes and supplies, which is just one more complication, as well as voluntarily putting yourself through the stigma of being "a baby again" or "wotta nutjob")? I decided a looong time ago; "no think you, I will pass on that"

[Little Sherri]

18 hours ago, Howdy21 said:

I'm not ready for 24/7, but I do wear a diaper every day. I am seeking and making progress towards conditional incontinence. That is uncontrolled wetting while diapered. Are any others working towards this? I'd appreciate your suggestions

Hi, Howdy21. I've been at this for almost exactly a year - it will be a year as of March 30th. Here's what I've discovered so far: I have arrived at a point where it's really easy to pee in a diaper, under basically any circumstances, and I tend to have to go about every 15 to 30 minutes max. If I get distracted and neglect to do that, after 45 minutes or an hour, I will experience sudden intense urgency. When I am going, I don't really have to pay any attention to the process, but I still have to "permission" the works below to let down the gates when I am awake; as far as I know, it's not happening without my giving it the go-ahead. Once it starts, though, I am only dimly aware that it's happening, and I have been surprised before to notice through some other feedback, such as sound or feeling a trickle, that it is occurring with absolutely no internal sensation, after I kick it off. I don't have to push at all once the transfer to the diaper begins. 

However, I still go to the gym without a diaper on, and I can go for 45 - 90 minutes without peeing. I have never had an accident at the gym, for example. I think that the dehydration from working out helps with respect to any urgency I experience; I often don't take a pee break, although there have been a couple of times recently where I felt that I had to. 

So, during the day, I have not "achieved" any kind of real incontinence, although I really wouldn't mind if eventually voiding could commence without any input from the executive branch - as long as I could still shut it down when I had to. Until someone invents pull-ups for long distance runners, I am going to need to be able to sometimes hold it. 

At night, on the other hand, I have had instances where as far as I can recall, I never woke up or approved anything, and yet my diaper was wet. This is not that common of an experience, however. I still tend to wake up, lower the gates, and then fall right back to sleep. I would love to be able to sleep through all of my nighttime wetting, and I am at the point where I would be nervous and possibly unable to sleep, were I to try to go to bed without a diaper on. Whereas if I had to, I could probably, with some discomfort and frequent potty breaks, make it through the whole day without a diaper. But I wouldn't want to. I like my diapers. 

To touch on your question from a broader perspective, I read an academic article a while back by a gerontologist who was looking into "rehabilitating" elderly people who had been rendered immobile by excess or inappropriate use of medications such as sedatives or anti-psychotics. Most of these folks were in diapers because of immobility, rather than incontinence, the long-term care industry having long ago moved away from the staffing and disinfection requirements of bedpans. Once some of them had their mobility restored, they tended to be able to start managing their toileting again. Some still wore protective garments because of incontinence due to prostate procedures or cognitive issues, or because it took them a long time to get to a washroom and get undressed etc, but most seemed to be able to be at least partly self-sufficient in that area. Some of these people had been immobile and in diapers for years, and most of them got back some control, so complete incontinence by going out of practice or losing muscle tone in the associated hardware, all other things being equal, seems to be hard to "achieve", or at least, if one gets there, they can probably come back if they want to. 

I can't speak to the fecal side of the matter, because I haven't read much about it and I have no desire to be that dependent on diapers, it's just too much work. I have the utmost sympathy and admiration for those who are or are trying to be. 

One final note: diaper cream is your friend. If you wear most or all of the time, you will probably get either a diaper rash, or chafing, or both, at some point. Don't wait until then to use diaper cream. Use it all the time.

I hope that this has been of some help. 

[Howdy21]

Thanks Little Christine for your advice to "look before you leap" . Little Sherri describes her situation never having achieved "real incontinence". I don't want real IC either, just an approximation of urinary (not fecal) IC. That said what should I do?

Thanks for the reminder about diaper cream!

 

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

2 hours ago, Howdy21 said:

Thanks Little Christine for your advice to "look before you leap" . Little Sherri describes her situation never having achieved "real incontinence". I don't want real IC either, just an approximation of urinary (not fecal) IC. That said what should I do?

Thanks for the reminder about diaper cream!

 

I can tell you after wearing diapers now for almost three years permanently that it will be very hard for you to lose control of your bladder and not your bowels.  When my wife first became aware of my desire to become unpotty trained she asked me to not become fecal incontinent.  What I found ironic about this was that I have experienced uncontrollable bowel leakage all my life so technically I already was.  What she meant was she did not want to be out to a romantic dinner with me and all the sudden as she put it I  "shit my pants."  I respected her wishes but over the years of unconditioning my bladder I have found my bowels become harder and harder to control.  Both my wife and I now know and believe that it is inevitable that I will eventually become completely incontinent.

[Dubious]

Also been wearing 24/7 for years and still full control 
I can pee in my diaper everywhere without any problem, around anyone
 

[Howdy21]

Thanks for sharing your experience. It's not real IC that I'm after just reducing wetting control while in diapers

9 hours ago, Howdy21 said:

I can already initiate a urine stream without too much thought while diapered. I think you are right greater frequency may be a help, that is wearing and wetting diapers a good deal more.

 

[oznl]

Very similar experience to @Little Sherri except I really don't know what my daytime capacity or urgency might be like because I haven't used it for a year.  I don't hear much from my bladder anymore.  Just sometimes I will experience urgency but that's when I'm actually wetting already - go figure.  Other times, I feel nothing but spreading wet warmth at my crotch.

It has occurred to me that if I *did* try to practice continence, I might be in for a shock.  I simply don't know.  I was going to run an experiment when my wife went away for the weekend next week but COVID-19 has killed that trip.  I'll just stay in nappies for now.

I am these days a sometimes-bedwetter which is definitely a consequence of prolonged 24/7.  I wake up wet usually a couple of times per week now.  I was night trained as a toddler by two and a half so spent more than 50 years dry at night only to revert after several months of 24/7 nappies.  I do suspect that this may be conditional with my sub-conscious aware that I'm diapered and that it's therefore "ok" to go in bed.  Another theory is that I'm waking to wet but no longer waking enough to remember it.

 

[Moochie]

I am also a daily but not 24/7 diapered.  I wet throughout the day when the first signal to my brain occurs, sometimes I don't even need the neurological signal.  Therefore, I wet well before a full bladder.  When not in a diaper I have to get to the toilet soon, and sometimes not soon enough with dribbles in my pants.  It is almost as though  have developed minor urge incontinence.  I also enjoy messing my diaper but no problems with control when not diapered.

[DL-Boy]

11 hours ago, oznl said:

It has occurred to me that if I *did* try to practice continence, I might be in for a shock.  I simply don't know.  I was going to run an experiment when my wife went away for the weekend next week but COVID-19 has killed that trip.  I'll just stay in nappies for now.

@oznl, kind of reminds me of that episode of "Seinfeld" TV series where Elaine is dating this swimmer who have shaven his head for years.  She encourages him to let his hair grow out.  Upon having enough growth, she notices a bald patch in the back of his head and calls it to his attention.  The man is mortified that he is "going bald", despite the fact that he had chosen to shave his head for several years prior.

[Little Sherri]

11 hours ago, oznl said:

I do suspect that this may be conditional with my sub-conscious aware that I'm diapered and that it's therefore "ok" to go in bed.  Another theory is that I'm waking to wet but no longer waking enough to remember it.

I've wondered if this might be the case with me, on those occasions where I wet the bed with no recollection of it. But I have no interest in experimenting with going to sleep sans diaper, because I'll sleep terribly, probably because I think I might wet myself if I drift into a deep sleep. I haven't slept a night without a diaper on in about 2.5 years, but when I was in Europe, I was sleeping in my slim daytime diapers for a few nights, while I tried to figure out where to find more, and what to buy, and I slept badly then, often trying to stay on my back, because those diapers have no tolerance for side-sleep wetting, and the rise at the front of them is way lower than my preferred nighttime diapers, which works great under daytime clothes - I don't need a diaper that rises up over my navel during the day. But at night, were I to wet while sleeping on my belly, absent the assistance of gravity, fluid goes where ever it wants to. 

[oznl]

6 hours ago, DL-Boy said:

@oznl, kind of reminds me of that episode of "Seinfeld" TV series where Elaine is dating this swimmer who have shaven his head for years.  She encourages him to let his hair grow out.  Upon having enough growth, she notices a bald patch in the back of his head and calls it to his attention.  The man is mortified that he is "going bald", despite the fact that he had chosen to shave his head for several years prior.

lol!  I guess the difference there is that by now, I'm not horrified or scared about discovering what has happened, more just curious.  Of course, I'm just saying that, it may well be different once cold hard reality crashes the party to tell me that nappies are no longer optional.  Having said that, I remain (possibly irrationally) convinced that this is NOT the case.  I really believe that what I have is a habit that has become semi-automatic, not IC.

6 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

I've wondered if this might be the case with me, on those occasions where I wet the bed with no recollection of it. But I have no interest in experimenting with going to sleep sans diaper, because I'll sleep terribly, probably because I think I might wet myself if I drift into a deep sleep. I haven't slept a night without a diaper on in about 2.5 years, but when I was in Europe, I was sleeping in my slim daytime diapers for a few nights, while I tried to figure out where to find more, and what to buy, and I slept badly then, often trying to stay on my back, because those diapers have no tolerance for side-sleep wetting, and the rise at the front of them is way lower than my preferred nighttime diapers, which works great under daytime clothes - I don't need a diaper that rises up over my navel during the day. But at night, were I to wet while sleeping on my belly, absent the assistance of gravity, fluid goes where ever it wants to. 

A very strange thing has happened here.  I've been an inveterate side sleeper most of my life.  Disposables in bed + peeing + side sleeping = massive leakage.  That equation has moderated a little since I now pee very frequently in very small volumes.  A few times I've stirred on my side, chosen to let go anyway because I'm too sleepy to want to roll over and I've gotten away with it.

The strange bit however is that I've started waking up to find myself laying on my back.  A year ago this would have been unheard of.  This pattern happens even on those nights I'm  wearing cloth diapers and I'm perfectly aware that cloth diapers can safely be peed in on my side without leaks.  It seems that my body has responded to my habit of turning onto my back during the night to wet by leaving me there.  It's a bit annoying in a way because I have sleep apnoea which is far, far worse when I'm on my back (tested as clinically "severe").  I have a CPAP machine which takes care of that but it has to work extra hard on my back and I can wake up with a horrifically dry mouth and sometimes a mild sore throat because the humidifier tank ran dry.  Dry mouth, wet pants.

My interest in knowing whether I truly need the diapers at night or not would be in support of decisions about whether this is something I'd need to plan for with emergency travel.  Is this a "nice to have" or a "must have"?  Right now I just don't know.

[Howdy21]

37 minutes ago, oznl said:

Having said that, I remain (possibly irrationally) convinced that this is NOT the case.  I really believe that what I have is a habit that has become semi-automatic, not IC.

Now, if I could develop the habit of semi-automatic wetting only when diapered! Real IC has too many consequences.

[oznl]

It seems to be a "fake it until you make it" scenario.  It took many months of practice for that kind of thing to happen.  I suspect that for most people, the "12 month guide" should be called the "36 month guide".  I think you'd need to be diapered continuously for quite a bit of time to get there if my experience is any guide.

[spark]

On 3/28/2020 at 6:02 PM, oznl said:

It seems to be a "fake it until you make it" scenario.  It took many months of practice for that kind of thing to happen.  I suspect that for most people, the "12 month guide" should be called the "36 month guide".  I think you'd need to be diapered continuously for quite a bit of time to get there if my experience is any guide.

In my case, I work on home and live by myself.  So my default is in some kind of diaper, and since I typically pee only a few minutes after putting one on, it's usually a wet diaper.    I've gotten to the point where I don't do large voids, so we are talking 1/4 to 1/3 cup squirts every hour.   In most cases- I could manage to hold that and void in a toilet if I choose to, but I've never really chosen to test myself.   That's after at least 3 years.      At night I typically do not pee until early morning, after most of my REM sleep has been completed.   In most cases, I'll do it in my diaper without too much thought.  It's basically, 'my bladder is ready- let's go.'   However, I'm quite certain I can get to a potty if I didn't have a diaper on.  

I've never had much desire to mess my diaper.   I don't really like the feeling of a poopy diaper, and typically only do that in the morning.  I've noticed a new phenomenon in the mornings though.    I'm essentially ready to poop once I get up- and there isn't much time to waste.   It's basically coming out by the time I sit on the toilet, and I could easily find myself pooping in my diaper if I couldn't get to a toilet.  That's new, and never happens with pee, but then I'm not trying to hold my bladder either.

I also notice another thing, which has been the case for a while.   In the few cases that I am not in diapers, and a toilet is not easily accessible (ie- car, show, airplane, in bed) I start to feel an urge to pee pretty quickly.   Sometimes I'm in a diaper- but want to extend it- so I'm not necessarily trying to wet it- and I can hold for a few hours with no issue at all.   DIapered on a 10 hour flight, and my diaper isn't that wet when I land.  If I tried to do that without a diaper- I'd need two trips to the toilet, and I always sit on the window.

I'm at least 36 months in, and I don't think I can call myself a bedwetter yet.  At best, I'm a mostly potty trained, but still has an accident once or twice a month, but that's probably because it's where I want to be.

[Dunham]

Can't you use a catheter for a long term.

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