Dont Know What To Do

[paradox]

I have been living with this girl for 8 months now, a few days ago we got into a domestic dispute and she got arested for domestic violence. Because of this we were forced to move out of our apartment. My problem is this, everyone keeps telling me to not have contact with her and not talk to her but its killing me inside. I want to drive up to her moms and see her just to make sure shes okay and i still want a relationship with her despite what other people say. She is not somem classified case study or some manipulative person as the my parents keep saying. any advice would be great

[shadows]

I have been living with this girl for 8 months now, a few days ago we got into a domestic dispute and she got arested for domestic violence. Because of this we were forced to move out of our apartment. My problem is this, everyone keeps telling me to not have contact with her and not talk to her but its killing me inside. I want to drive up to her moms and see her just to make sure shes okay and i still want a relationship with her despite what other people say. She is not somem classified case study or some manipulative person as the my parents keep saying. any advice would be great

if you love her go for it dont let other people tell you what you should do if you still care about her you you think it will still work then why not i wouldnt recommend trying a second time if it happens again but thats just my opinion i dont know much about stuff like that but ive always said the only way to live a good life is to act on your emotions so thats how i live my life. hope that helps you out.

[restlessfox]

judging by your feelings for her you're probably going to ignore everyone saying anything you don't want to hear anyway, so I'm just going to say that IF you do end up back with her you should keep your eyes open. your friends and family are just looking out for you so chances are they see things that the love in your mind filters out.

if it works out between you two let me be the first to congratulate you but if she's doing stuff like using you, hitting you, throwing stuff, cheating, ect. you shouldn't ignore it, a little every so often is fine but if she doesn't have your best interests in mind and you're genuinely unhappy with the relationship on a regular basis you should pack up and leave.

then again you're 5 years older then me so will someone with a little more experience please tell me if i've got it all wrong or if this is good advice.

[Repaid1]

Nope you got it right But if she lost her temper, and this is the first time, you can almost be assured it will happen again. I would imagine a restaining order has been served by the court too. If not a phone call would be my only suggestion for contact at the time being till the case is over. If something was to happen between you guys again before that, the problem is going to be greatly escalated. If you two are truely in love alittle consuling may be in order. Best of luck.

[rickibrat2]

I have been living with this girl for 8 months now, a few days ago we got into a domestic dispute and she got arested for domestic violence. Because of this we were forced to move out of our apartment. My problem is this, everyone keeps telling me to not have contact with her and not talk to her but its killing me inside. I want to drive up to her moms and see her just to make sure shes okay and i still want a relationship with her despite what other people say. She is not somem classified case study or some manipulative person as the my parents keep saying. any advice would be great

guess it depends on how much you like being used or abused

you did not say what happened here but as a rule some one was hit

the court will order treatment as a rule , for the first time

you did not say how much drinking had been done before or how much drugs use there was before these all problems that lead to some one abuseing the other

threapy will help because like some one else said here i get the feeling you will go back

it only get worst the next time if help is not taken this time i have worked with abuse people for many years you both have to want it to change you both will have to work at it for many years to correct problem it did not come over night it will not go away over night

[paradox]

There was no drinking involved that night and it wasnt a first time thing. I ended up calling her to talk and both agreed that our romantic relationship had to come to an end. We will still remain in contact through phone and snail mail but not face to face. Thanks for your guys advice it definitly helped to have some objective views. I got the closure on the issue I needed. Yes the court gave her anger management and a residence restraining order was mandatory as well till the court date. I may be a sucker but We were friends before lovers so a friend ill stay even with our romantic relationship forfit

[dpl13]

Well done. I think you handled that the best that you could have, and it's good that you have opened your eyes to the nature of the beast, so to speak. Even more, it takes a lot to remain friends after something like this, and that's something to be proud of. Just be careful not to allow things to slip back to how they were...

[Dill_Pickle]

There was no drinking involved that night and it wasnt a first time thing. I ended up calling her to talk and both agreed that our romantic relationship had to come to an end. We will still remain in contact through phone and snail mail but not face to face. Thanks for your guys advice it definitly helped to have some objective views. I got the closure on the issue I needed. Yes the court gave her anger management and a residence restraining order was mandatory as well till the court date. I may be a sucker but We were friends before lovers so a friend ill stay even with our romantic relationship forfit

True lovers talk and disagree, but have no desires to come to blows or even raise their voices...such things are hurtful on both sides. It's rare that gals get in trouble on domestic violence, it's usually the other way around. Me, I talked to a shrink for about three years before breaking up...you might want to do that, too...my ex, the last time I saw her, fell straight into pattern...reinforcing my need to have her stay ex..