Accepting yourself

[Texasdiaperboy101]

So lately I have had a very hard time accepting that I am an ABDL and I was curious how other people came to terms with who they really are and how they finally came to realize that what we're into is not wrong or bad by any means. I have a girlfriend/mommy that is very accepting of my kink and loves and enjoys taking care of me during are play time but it's hard to really talk to her about how I feel because even though she accepts it I don't believe she understands about myself not being able except it.its something that I have been into since I can remember and I just want to be able to finally accept myself for who I am and what I'm into.any advice would be helpful.

[Rachael-Little]

Acceptance of things that we enjoy or maybe are can be difficult, most especially if it’s a bit unusual. For me I had a hard time accepting myself as trans non binary but when I finally did it made it easier.

 

Now even though I’m not really into my AB side much anymore I did have a tough time with it, even still do now. There are just things about ourselves we don’t understand even going into counseling we can’t always find the answers to these questions. Life is hard we try to figure out our quirks and kinks but in the long run if we can find a partner as you have and you can satisfy each other then don’t worry to much. Love each other and be kind to others and just be yourself.

Hope this helps 

[littleTomás]

5 hours ago, Texasdiaperboy101 said:

I have a girlfriend/mommy that is very accepting of my kink and loves and enjoys taking care of me during are play time but it's hard to really talk to her about how I feel because even though she accepts it I don't believe she understands about myself not being able except it.its something that I have been into since I can remember and I just want to be able to finally accept myself for who I am and what I'm into.

First off, I think it's awesome that you were able to open up to your girlfriend about being AB and even cooler that she is accepting of it. I hope you two have a fantastic relationship that gets better every day.

Ah, yes. Self-acceptance and shame, the plight of almost every person on the planet, but especially those in the ABDL community. Unfortunately there's no magic want that can make you instantly accept yourself, but you have all the tools you need at your disposal. You have a loving and supportive girlfriend and you have the ABDL community to back you up. I would recommend that you listen to the podcasts Love In Brief, Dream A Little, Sexology, and Crinkle Cast. Find the episodes that Dr. Rhoda Lipscomb has been on because she's given some awesome advice on self-acceptance and ABDL that I've found very helpful. If you have the means to do so, I think you and your girlfriend should take a trip to an ABDL convention like CAPCon, TeddyCon, or The West Coast Jungle Gym. Nothing destroys shame like community because it's impossible to feel shame when your in the middle of a giant nerf gun battle with a bunch of adults also wearing diapers and onesies. If a convention isn't in the cards, then get involved in local littles munches and meetups, so you can meet other ABDL's.

In my own journey to self-acceptance several things have helped me. The first was giving myself permission to wear diapers and experience littlespace instead of suppressing this part of me like I'd been doing for 14 years. After that came opening up to my best friend who told me that there wasn't anything wrong with what I was doing, but I should go talk to a therapist because I was ashamed of who I am as a person and that's not good. The main thing that going to therapy has helped me to do is see my little side as an asset instead of baggage I'm forced to carry around. If you'd told me 9 mouths ago that in April of 2019 I'd be active in the online ABDL community, actively working towards self-acceptance and making progress, have told my future best friend I was ABDL, be working on planning local munches, and reserving 2 hours each week for littlespace time, I would have said you were crazy and that that was impossible. But what I thought was impossible became possible and that's the beauty of life.

Good luck and feel free to DM me if you'd like to chat more,

Without Shame,

Little Tomás

[Texasdiaperboy101]

Thank you all for the advice it helped and I'm actually looking into the podcasts as we speak. It nice to be able to talk to people about it and not keep it hidden. also, idk if I'll ever be able to go to a convention but we will see and for those people who said I could DM them to talk more ill probably take y'all up on that offer.

[KyleABDL]

statistics helped me. were statistically more common than entamologists.

after that it was blogs and youtubers showing courage daring out into the world being themselves or juggling adult and baby lives in public / private so it can be done, its all about finding what works for you.

most extremes take up 24/7 and still have vanilla clothing in public. some like littlelolikat for instance push little clothing in public so its borderline but still passable. but otherwise most are content with munches, private parties, or expressing themselves with other consenting members behing closed doors and its enough for most.

so as for accepting, heres what i ask.

"does anyone get hurt"

"is everyone of age to consent"

"is this illegal"

"am i involving the public without their consent"

and answering those questions gives me all the confidence i need to be myself.

[LittleAmytheil]

Acceptance is different to everyone, but the internet is a great and wonderful tool.  It allows for anonymity while also still allowing expression.

Knowing that there are thousands and millions in a similar fetish as me in the world was my biggest sensation of acceptance.  People just wearing diapers under their clothing and living their lives without any of us communicating.  Heck, even if we crossed paths, we'd never know because we probably met online.   For all the internet knows I really do have purple hair (I could).

I don't involve the world in my fetish, which I know is where some find acceptance.  I also don't subject unwilling friends/family, though I'm sure some have been accidentally exposed (Whoops, I always forget to hide my pacis.)

[littleTomás]

3 hours ago, LittleAmytheil said:

Whoops, I always forget to hide my pacis

Same here. I'll be studding at my desk in my room and one of my roommates will come in to my room to ask me a question and my pacifier will just be sitting on my desk. The couple times this has happened I've just tried to nonchalantly slide my pacie into my pocket. No one has ever mentioned it though. They probably haven't made the connection and just think it's some desk toy I 3D Printed.

[LittleAmytheil]

1 hour ago, littleTomás said:

Same here. I'll be studding at my desk in my room and one of my roommates will come in to my room to ask me a question and my pacifier will just be sitting on my desk. The couple times this has happened I've just tried to nonchalantly slide my pacie into my pocket. No one has ever mentioned it though. They probably haven't made the connection and just think it's some desk toy I 3D Printed.

Th last notable time a friend of mine verbally asked. My usual storage place is in a cabinet with my jewelry and I was looking for a piece to show her. I told her it's a sensory oral fixation, and she seemed to accept that as an answer. 

Said friend didn't see any diapers or other abdl items about. Maybe the baby wipes and infant saline spray we use on our cat's runny nose!

[gee baby]

I didn’t learn that I was not alone until I was 60!!!  I’m 62 now and loving it, because this part of myself that I have been ashamed of is now a shared and open part of my life.  Hard to hide with a high chair in dining room and full nursery with no door.  What surprised me is acceptance from family and friends.  I was petrified about anyone discovering this part of myself, only to discover open minded people are going to be accepting to something that makes you happy, and the others folks, who cares.

i agree about going to events to meet others of same inclination.  I purchased ticket to FetCamp for July, reserving space in the little’s cabin.  Will be my first.  CapCon I missed because tickets go fast, TeddyCon too.  I have to fly to these events, but I think worth it.  Meeting others and making friends in this community will help ones own acceptance of self.

[Lost Little Neppy]

Ugh, I had a nice long post planned out, but I can't do it. Basically, I haven't been able to accept the little side of me, and I don't know if I ever will. I mean, I've accepted it to the point of making an account on here and partaking in online activities, but that is hardly the same thing as fully embracing this side of me.

It's great that you have someone to open up to about this. Not everyone does. I have someone in my life who tolerates it, but he has some very clear lines he does not want to cross (and I certainly don't want to make him uncomfortable or disgusted, so I adhere to them). If you have doubts about how accepting they are, you need to have a talk about it. Being honest with your partner is key. If you're still not sure they're being honest with you, ask them. Don't accuse them of lying or of any kind of dishonesty, just ask if they are being completely truthful.

Hope that helps.

[diaperedsecurity]

I've struggled with this for more than a few years. I am happily married and she knows, accepts, and has encouraged me in order to help accept this side of myself. I fall most heavily on the DL side of the equation. Mostly AB has been through stories and fantasies but that has tapered off since opening up to my wife. She participates and we have had a few adventures outside of the house, to the movies and the like, we wore regular street attire as this is still for us and not others, and we try any respect public space for what it is.

Even though she has been so encouraging and participating it wasn't until I spoke to a few very close friends and opened up to them that I started to really accept myself for what I am. I have know these people for nearly 20 years, non of them had any idea I was hiding this side of myself from them. All were extremely accepting, and during our conversation I had to explain why it was such a big deal and how much I had struggled emotionally and mentally because of these desires.

Once I finally opened up to those closest to me did I start to become comfortable in my own skin.

[Alex Bridges]

I guess I’m fortunate that this was never an issue for me. I guess I never cared what society thought I was supposed to be, and having had these desires since before I was even out of diaper full time (around age 2-3 is my first memory of this), I’ve always just felt this was who I was and was comfortable with it. 

I have a hard time imagining why I wouldn’t be. It’s just not something I’m ashamed of. I keep it private, but of all the things about me, this isn’t something I feel bad about. Hurting no one, bothering no one, and just being me.

[horrorfan]

Considering you are not alone, you are very lucky! 

I still struggle with acceptance myself. My folks are a bit on the conservative side, so some of those views that I grew up with made acceptance of this side of me a little hard to come to terms with. I don't know if this was already posted, but something to consider is what, exactly, that you wish to have acceptance on and what needs to happen for you to get it, along with other factors such as elements within your control and barriers to your goal.