Strange days indeed - a 24 x 7 experiment

[oznl]

1 hour ago, Little Sherri said:

I decided to try my own medicine today; after being out at a buddy's until 3 AM or so, I collapsed alone in my bed - my wife & younger daughter are staying at a friend's place - wearing a gloriously wet Megamax. I woke up this morning after having slept like a rock, in a sodden diaper that needed to be replaced. I have no idea if I wet overnight or not, but I definitely didn't wake up for anything that I can recall. 

I decided to put a Rearz Barnyard on, and a diaper shirt, and to treat the snaps on the shirt like they were welded shut, and, no matter what, not to "do" or initiate anything. That was at about 11:00 this morning, and the dam broke about 30 minutes ago, so I was dry for about 3 hours and 15 minutes. What initiated it was actually sitting down in front of my computer - maybe my subconscious recognizes this as a "wetting place". I had been acutely aware that I needed to go for at least an hour, and when I sat down, I felt a bit of a bladder contraction or spasm or whatever you'd call it - not painful, but urgent. Then came a spontaneous, spurt of a release, somewhat akin to a hiccup, and a low-pressure trickle commenced, that built into a torrent. Pressure peaked quickly, and then dropped off, but a minor trickle continued for at least a minute or so, as far as I could tell. Now, I feel pretty empty, and my nappy has notable additional bulk to it. I've decided to stay the course for the moment, and I'm not going to try voiding again, I am just going to see how long it takes to get there again. 

 

So a very similar outcome at very similar point in time.  @Stroller hasn't done anything in the way of testing but he's permanently in a wet nappy and he's already said he's not sure what happens during the day and now he's had at least one night where "stuff happened" whilst sleeping.  I suspect he's deeper in than he knows.

So, let’s just pause for a moment and consider our positions: we would claim that we are NOT incontinent but:

1.       We now regularly wet the bed at night

2.       We become quite uncomfortable if we don’t pee within two hours during the day (and in my case, will drip a bit anyway)

3.       At around the 3 hour mark, if we don’t pee, we will uncontrollably wet ourselves anyway

Not incontinent?  mmm….  Certainly not 100% continent anymore I'd say...

[Little Sherri]

17 hours ago, oznl said:

So, let’s just pause for a moment and consider our positions: we would claim that we are NOT incontinent but:

1.       We now regularly wet the bed at night

2.       We become quite uncomfortable if we don’t pee within two hours during the day (and in my case, will drip a bit anyway)

3.       At around the 3 hour mark, if we don’t pee, we will uncontrollably wet ourselves anyway

Not incontinent?  mmm….  Certainly not 100% continent anymore I'd say...

I pressed on with my testing regimen for the remains of the day yesterday. I have to say that the "hold it until you break" technique does replicate incontinence with remarkable resolution, although it's also fairly to acutely uncomfortable, and, when the dam breaks, you are subjecting an innocent diaper to a barrage of punishment that can lead to unexpected failure modes. I'm going to have to go back to my "dribble frequently" methodology, for which there is seemingly no autopilot function available, or if there is, I haven't found the switch. 

I will say that, but for the constant pressure, and a lingering concern that doing this for an extended period of time might be bad for my kidneys, it was... is "nice" the word? It was "nice" to erupt a couple of times into an uncontrollable wetting, while fully awake and aware of it. This causes me to further understand why some people mess around with stents or customized catheters, although I have zero interest in inserting anything into Mr. Happy, nor any interest in the mental effort involved in coming up with a plausible story for the ER physician, when I lose something up there. But I can see why people would be willing to go to such lengths, in order to not have to think about voiding. 

I do wonder - and I would bet the "experts" here have an answer for this - does constant "back-pressure" (as from having a full bladder) reduce kidney output, or do they care not a whit about what is going on downstream from them? And, inversely, does an always-empty bladder encourage output, or, is that also irrelevant? 

[BabyJilly_S]

I tried it this morning. Not sure the same things happened, though that may just be semantics I guess. After showering and getting dressed the experiment began. 

The first inklings were not tremendously long after, I got the standard feeling that there was a permission request message for valve release. It is at this point that I must say that, maybe due to infirmity or the many years of being on my own,  that its like being in the Disney animation "Inside", there seems to be some fella down there pulling levers and pressing buttons to make the various bits of me function. Anyway, this time permission was not granted, which caused some dismay down there, to wit, what can be described as surprise and then a continual background feeling of needing to wee but not an actual request to go itself.   

A bit later, a second request was filed and sent, this too was refused. During the morning as I drank my coffee and later water the requests became more frequent and difficult to ignore,  presumably with bold red writing on them. I  gave the the out of office, but with these came a bit of dribbling I think before the tap was fully closed. Nothing massive. 

The background feeling was no longer "background" and after and hour or two it was basically all I could think about and had to concentrate on not going. The genuine full on requests to open the taps were coming regularly every 10 minutes and were becoming extremely difficult to ignore each accompanied with a little dribble . An hour after that it all become too uncomfortable and I had to let go...I wanted to hold on more but couldn't to it. I may try again tomorrow as it was interesting.

[oznl]

6 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

I pressed on with my testing regimen for the remains of the day yesterday. I have to say that the "hold it until you break" technique does replicate incontinence with remarkable resolution, although it's also fairly to acutely uncomfortable, and, when the dam breaks, you are subjecting an innocent diaper to a barrage of punishment that can lead to unexpected failure modes. I'm going to have to go back to my "dribble frequently" methodology, for which there is seemingly no autopilot function available, or if there is, I haven't found the switch. 

I will say that, but for the constant pressure, and a lingering concern that doing this for an extended period of time might be bad for my kidneys, it was... is "nice" the word? It was "nice" to erupt a couple of times into an uncontrollable wetting, while fully awake and aware of it. This causes me to further understand why some people mess around with stents or customized catheters, although I have zero interest in inserting anything into Mr. Happy, nor any interest in the mental effort involved in coming up with a plausible story for the ER physician, when I lose something up there. But I can see why people would be willing to go to such lengths, in order to not have to think about voiding. 

I do wonder - and I would bet the "experts" here have an answer for this - does constant "back-pressure" (as from having a full bladder) reduce kidney output, or do they care not a whit about what is going on downstream from them? And, inversely, does an always-empty bladder encourage output, or, is that also irrelevant? 

I suspect that the “hold until failure” strategy is perilously close to the “progressive holding” strategy advocated by urologists to restore urinary continence.  The idea is that by continuously caving in to one’s bladder’s constant demands, like a spoiled child, instead of satiation, the goal posts keep moving.  The reverse of this is that by NOT giving in, bladder capacity may be “retrained”.

So, I don’t plan to pursue this bladder (mis)management strategy any time.  It was just an experiment.

I’m aware that holding to the point of bladder over-filling can trigger kidney pain which is a sign of potential kidney damage.  There is no regulation circuit (I believe) between the bladder and the kidney.  The kidney doesn’t talk to the bladder but will whine to the brain about the bladder if kidney thinks bladder isn’t doing its job resulting in things “backing up”.

This wasn’t a problem for me since my bladder didn’t hold very much at all before the sphincters let go.

More of a potential problem is “incomplete voiding”.  I’m pretty certain I have that now and it’s entirely a physiological thing (not a choice).  I do believe this can have urological knock-on issues and some members here have had urologists point this out.  My bladder certainly did NOT empty properly or even nearly fully.  I believe urinary retention is a risk.  Oops...  Who knows though, that may not even be a self-inflicted wound but simply the progression of BPH (early signs of which were appearing before I took to nappies).

I think the key take-away here for me was that at the three year mark, although I’m technically day-continent, there are a few limits and conditions around this to the extent that for a whole bunch of “normal” day to day activities, it would be far better for me (and those out with me) if I just wore a nappy.

[BabyJilly_S]

5 minutes ago, oznl said:

I suspect that the “hold until failure” strategy is perilously close to the “progressive holding” strategy advocated by urologists to restore urinary continence.  The idea is that by continuously caving in to one’s bladder’s constant demands, like a spoiled child, instead of satiation, the goal posts keep moving.  The reverse of this is that by NOT giving in, bladder capacity may be “retrained”.

Probably true. The interesting take away for me was dribbling I think. That and how basically impossible it was to hold it if I had a properly full bladder and how even after an hour it was all I could think about. 

 

[oznl]

2 minutes ago, BabyJilly_S said:

Probably true. The interesting take away for me was dribbling I think. That and how basically impossible it was to hold it if I had a properly full bladder and how even after an hour it was all I could think about. 

 

You know with my very early "hold" experiment (probably at around a year or so), I'd have said the same.  By the time failure occurred, the urgency was so bad that I could think of nothing else.  Furthermore, I believe that I "chose" to let go ultimately because it was just hurting so much.

This time, the failure occurred much earlier.  I had strong pee urges but not to the point of painful and I thought I would normally have been able to withstand them.  The urges were novel and to me, strong, but not overwhelming at all.

Also the "failure" itself: at the first hold, failure was leaking a few drops of pee at the crescendo of an agonising urge before regaining control, with this cycle repeating until I realised it was all pointless.  I never full-on peed during the hold until I "decided" to.

Not this time.

With THIS failure, after the initial drips (unassociated with urges), the actual "failure" was a substantial and sustained spurt of pee to the point where I felt that my nappy was well wet already and there was no point continuing.  My "let go" decision however was AFTER I'd substantially (and involuntarily) voided.

 

[Stroller]

An interesting discussion this, as it's quite a bit different from the way I've gone.  It's a long time since I made any decisions about holding back on wetting, and a long time since I had to make a conscious decisions to wet, during the day anyway.  The only real exception to this is when I want to make sure my bladder's empty, when I can induce wetting if I need to.  But normally I'll just wet periodically, with my body making the decision.  That's probably because early on I put a fair amount of effort into putting my muscles into being relaxed by default, i.e. reverse Kegel.  That means if I do nothing, I'll wet periodically pretty much automatically.  My bladder won't get full, unless I've got a kinked urethra, which i usually notice pretty early on, unless I'm asleep.

[oznl]

12 hours ago, Stroller said:

An interesting discussion this, as it's quite a bit different from the way I've gone.  It's a long time since I made any decisions about holding back on wetting, and a long time since I had to make a conscious decisions to wet, during the day anyway.  The only real exception to this is when I want to make sure my bladder's empty, when I can induce wetting if I need to.  But normally I'll just wet periodically, with my body making the decision.  That's probably because early on I put a fair amount of effort into putting my muscles into being relaxed by default, i.e. reverse Kegel.  That means if I do nothing, I'll wet periodically pretty much automatically.  My bladder won't get full, unless I've got a kinked urethra, which i usually notice pretty early on, unless I'm asleep.

Very interesting!  It seems you’ve acquired a skill that I am yet to acquire (during the day at least, I'm getting pretty good at automatic-wetting at night now).

It's a little different for me.  Whilst physical and psychological barriers towards peeing in my pants have been massively lowered to the point of non-existence,  and the frequency of opportunities massively increased through all of this, 90% of the time during the day, it STILL takes my decision to initiate a wetting (as trivial as it may be).

Things are certainly a lot more “relaxed” down there which probably goes some way to explaining the speed, ease and frequency of having “an accident” in my nappy but I'm still THINKING about it.

Maybe this is like bedwetting: I need to learn NOT to think about it for it to happen…

[BlakeJordan]

I think I would have been to the point of unconscious voiding by now if it weren’t for the medical aspects of my mixed incontinence. 
 

Due to widespread small fiber neuropathy (genetic, not diabetic) I have significantly decreased bladder sensation. This presents as both extremes. Either autonomic emptying (and lack of sensation), or the bladder going into a strong spasm and overfilling (also lack of sensation until I’m at nearly 2x normal capacity). The latter leads to overflow incontinence and/or kidney risks. It also leads to a a need for concentrated effort to release and fully emptying. 

in my experience I tend to slowly go back and forth from one extreme to the other. On the spasm side, I tend to make a concentrated effort to void every hour or two, otherwise it becomes increasingly difficult.  I can also end up in situations where a change of position tips gravity and causes a flooding issue that can catch me off guard.

Because of this I’m always heavily padded for those floods, otherwise social interactions would become incredibly stressful. I also have to be careful not to go too long in spasm mode, as that has led on more than several occasions for the need to cath. 
 

At this point it’s mostly frustrating rather than an inconvenience/obstacle. I’m still trying to figure out why about once a week I’ll wake up completely dry and have a bladder bursting at the seems..that can’t be good health wise.  The silver lining is the destrouser muscles are exhausted for the day and it makes daytime discreet options available due to a more consistent voiding volume. 
 

During my “what to expect” journal and journey i hypothesized that this automatic voiding goal should be achievable through conditioning and it should be independent from any pelvic floor strength, which we want to keep and even strengthen for physical fitness/posture/functional  reasons.  All this to say keep at it Oznl 

[oznl]

On 1/12/2022 at 8:34 AM, BlakeJordan said:

During my “what to expect” journal and journey i hypothesized that this automatic voiding goal should be achievable through conditioning and it should be independent from any pelvic floor strength, which we want to keep and even strengthen for physical fitness/posture/functional  reasons.  All this to say keep at it Oznl 

I will keep at it ?  I've been observing myself closely the last couple of days and I've noticed episodes of high frequency/low volume semi-automatic (could stop it if I wanted to but by default, I will wet) during the day.  Funnily enough, often whilst seated driving.  This issue is that this mode does not seem to persist, yet...

[oznl]

Those of you following my sorry tale/soggy tail would be familiar with my beloved’s less-than-cheerleading disposition towards my decision to put myself permanently back into nappies as a 50-something.

One of her primary strategies in coping with what is to her, a disastrous turn of marital events has been to avoid, disregard and ignore all aspects of my nappies and my escalating dependency on them.  Even when these aspects are blindingly obvious.  Whilst this is preferable to earlier strategies of acrimony, tears and various attempts at demands, it’s not without its own challenges.

Most recently, I thought she should know that I am a bedwetter now.  I mean, YOU all know that already so it only seemed fair so I tried to tell HER.  The spark for this was (as you may recall) the fact that a new mattress had triggered me to source a new waterproof sheet to fit to it.

The entire “conversation” (it was really more one-sided with me tossing uninvited facts into a sulking, conversational abyss) was not more than 90 seconds.  She did not engage, did not respond and afterwards, it was like that entire exchange had been torn out of existence leaving in its place a large black hole in the sky.  Not since Neville Chamberlain had ignored the threat of Adolph Hitler in 1938 has there been such a sustained, Olympian-class effort at wilful blindness.

COVID and our latest Ommicron “Lock-down you have when you’re not having a lock-down” is ripping through society and the economy at a frightening speed in our second consecutive summer of bummer.  It has also has kind of stretched her capacity to ignore my “things” along with my capacity to hide my “things”.

The biggest issue is that she’s on forced-leave (COVID) and whilst my horrible gig economy work has resumed, COVID has slammed it sideways and there is barely any work to do (which, thanks to the “independent contractor model” that the gig economy thrives on, means I’m earning barely any money).

We’ve never spent so much time in the same room as one another.

Unusually, this means that I have been getting up before her lately: in nothing more than a (wet) BetterDry under rather puffy white terry-lined waterproof pants and a t-shirt. I then need to peel off a wet nappy, shower, rash cream, re-nappy and dress myself before disposing of a dead BetterDry the size of a chicken all within sightline of her before leaving for “work”.  All this USED to happen after she had arisen, and fled the bedroom.

For the most part, she does a pretty good job of pretending to be asleep.

Pushing the envelope here, I’ve taken to getting out my “workday” plastic pants and nappy, leaving them on a shelf in our walk-in-robe to make the morning ritual quicker.  It’s pretty obvious: a large, white disposable nappy and a neatly laid out pair of plastic pants.

She’s done a pretty good job of not seeing them.  They haven’t been relocated, covered or outright discarded even once.

This morning, I know for a fact she was awake as she spoke to me as I emerged from our ensuite bathroom clad in a freshly-installed white Rearz Elite Hybrid and a business shirt because I’d foolishly left my plastic pants outside. 

We spoke about anything EXCEPT my underwear.

When my daughter was at work the other morning and I was NOT at work, I went downstairs to make us coffee.  As I knew the house to be empty, I didn’t bother pulling on pyjama pants, there seemed to be no point.  I departed in a t-shirt, wet nappy and a slight sense of trepidation at how I might be met upon my return thusly attired.

Looking for all the world like an over-sized toddler (except for the stubble and two cups of coffee), she somehow managed to not “see” them and excise them from all subsequent conversation, even as I clambered back into bed and squished down beside her (it had been a wet night).

Desperately mindful about the prodigious weight (and developing odour) of my study nappy bin, groaning under a 7 day disposable regime, perhaps I might even break out some cloth and give the environment and the municipal waste service a break.

Does it really make a difference if my plastic pants are covering wet disposables or wet terries?

Perhaps I should go for gold and break out a Mermaid?

Perhaps not.

Still, the cessation of abuse is nice.

[Newbee]

Maybe your wife has finally realised that you are not going to go back to big boy underwear so now instead of the abuse it’s just easier for her to completely ignore your nappies. I would class that as a win because at least you are not coping any abuse.

[oznl]

10 hours ago, Newbee said:

Maybe your wife has finally realised that you are not going to go back to big boy underwear so now instead of the abuse it’s just easier for her to completely ignore your nappies. I would class that as a win because at least you are not coping any abuse.

You're right.  It's a kind of a win and it's probably the most I could reasonably demand.  Unreasonably perhaps, I wouldn't mind a little less frosty reception though ?

[Newbee]

I know and maybe overtime she might get less frosty well I will at least have my fingers crossed for you on that point 

[BabyJilly_S]

8 minutes ago, Newbee said:

I know and maybe overtime she might get less frosty well I will at least have my fingers crossed for you on that point 

I echo this, I do hope that it isn't always as bleak as it sometimes seems in your posts

[Little Sherri]

I have to admit to being largely fortunate in this department. I mean, there is still the distant chance that my beloved has planned out poisoning me after bumping my life insurance, but that would leave her to deal with numerous life and lifestyle support systems that she has never laid eyes on... the well & domestic water purification apparatus, the boiler, the air conditioning, snow removal equipment, grass removal equipment, that humming shed next to the pool that must be doing something... also, the mysterious frontal compartments on the cars, where dollars get converted to motion. And, spiders (which probably elicits a chuckle from @oznl and his countrymen. Google 'Canada's fiercest spiders'... wait, that produced no results? I would imagine that people in Australia would give them to their children as pets...).

My wife is clearly far from thrilled that I'm wondering around at all hours in a toddler's underpants, but, she seems to have a sense of humour about it, when she's not steadfastly ignoring them, which is most of the time. 

[BedWetMark]

Just reading the last couple of days of posts here made me chuckle ... just 3 hours ago, my wife paused the film I was watching.  I moaned and she explained she needed a wee.  I groaned.  She then said "not all of us wear nappies" and walked off.

I was stunned. I've worn at night all my life, but like many have expanded to wearing during the day, 24/7 since the start of pandemic, but this was pretty much the first time she acknowledged that she must know I never visit the loo ... 

 

[Little Sherri]

On 1/15/2022 at 6:46 PM, BedWetMark said:

She then said "not all of us wear nappies" and walked off.

I had a similar experience the other day; my wife and I were both jockeying to get into our ensuite bathroom (the kids' bathroom being an atrocity most of the time), and my wife said "You are wearing your bathroom. People in Pampers don't get priority access over people who are not in Pampers." (She often uses 'Pampers' interchangeably with 'diapers').

Much like you, my wife knew that I was wearing diapers at night - I had told her - but, meanwhile, I was already in diapers all the time. I started gradually expanding the horizons of what constituted the "evening" - IE the times of day when I wouldn't be secretive about being in a diaper, "getting ready for bed" at ever earlier hours, and staying in my nightwear later and later in the morning, because I was working from home most of the time, in any case. Eventually, I dropped all the pretenses and started letting her see that I was putting daytime clothing on over my diaper, or that I was in a diaper in the middle of the day. At one point, she walked into my office to find me at my desk, mid-afternoon, in just a diaper and a golf shirt, to which she commented "Nice outfit."

Also, all of my underwear had long ago vanished from the laundry stream (and from the house), so while I never announced that I was wearing diapers all the time, at some point, she figured it out. 

[PuraVidaDip]

On 5/31/2020 at 7:24 PM, oznl said:

I wasted a number of decades (including my 40s) believing that I had a fetish and I think many of us do.  It just works so WELL as a fetish.

It wasn't until I was close to 50 that I started to realise that this was a built-in part of me that was reflected in sex, but also in every other bit of my life.  It was as much a part of me as my skin and hair colour.  It seems you might be cluing in a bit earlier.

As has @Little Sherri, I have tried to reflect in my thread, the somewhat gritty reality of being in nappies 24/7 as a functioning grown up (as opposed to some of the more fantasy-fueled stories floating about).  So far, I think I've demonstrated that things are not always golden-hued postcard perfect, it IS possible.   Even when I have (or perhaps HAD) a job, work travel and an office.  You just have to plan a bit more.

Look on  the bright side.  As a lifestyle, it does much less damage than serial killing and it's so much cheaper than a drug habit...

This post resonates so much with me. Although I am in my late 30's and have come to this realization. It is an identity. It is who we are. Why hide it? Others don't or live unhappily. Thank you @oznl

[oznl]

Thought for the week:  Moderna makes me pee overnight.  A lot…

On the weekend I had my “booster” (third) shot of COVID vaccine.  Interested in exploring the range of flavours on offer to cure the virus of the century (well, so far it is), I departed from my customary tipple of Astra-Zeneca (with its exciting value proposition of slightly sub-optimal virus protection allied with the admittedly vanishingly-remote chance of a complex blood clotting complication) and sampled some “Moderna”.  Really I just liked Moderna’s alternate tradename: “Spikevax”, I mean, who WOULDN’T want a shot of something called “Spikevax”?

Anyway, that night I experienced the usual (fairly mild) reaction I have to these vaccines: nothing serious, a sore arm, a vague “I’m catching a cold” feeling and fatigue.

And then, a tsunami of nocturnal pee…

I’d gone to bed early for a chaotic night’s sleep punctuated by wild dreams (none of which were nappy or even pee related, centred mainly around a series of car-dilemmas being experienced in a wild range of tumbling different places and circumstances in the disapproving and shadowy company of my parents – any Freudian experts out there?)

The next morning when I got out of bed and stood up to make my beloved and I our morning coffee, I immediately felt substantial weight in my underwear.   I was wet: big time!  This was a little bit confusing and counterintuitive as I thought I must be nearly dry, so little pee-recall I had.  In fact I was on the point of leaking.  At my subsequent change, I found my BetterDry to be 100% soggy and yellow on the inside.  I must have done some precision peeing because somehow I managed to exploit every square inch of padding but my terries remained dry.

Putting aside stunt-urination, peeing a lot is a common “cold” symptom for me so again, I put it down to my immune system whining about Spikevax.

Since our remaining stay-at-home daughter had left an hour or two earlier and the house was empty, I thought I’d just sneak down to the kitchen in my t-shirt and nappy to get the coffee rolling. 

I started for our bedroom door:  “PANTS!!” barked the not-as-comatose-as-it-seemed-at-first-glance lump under the blanket on the other side of the bed.

Sigh…  Apart from the thermal advantages, I kind of like just padding about my house in just a t-shirt and nappy.  Still, preferring to start the day with coffee instead of a domestic dispute, I retraced some steps, went into our walk-in-robe retrieving some pyjama pants.  Normally I have a pair by the bed but things were a bit weird last night and this procedural step got missed.

Anyway, 10 minutes or so later, coffee in hand, sitting back down in bed (carefully, trying to figure out if the “squish” sensation was in any way “productive” in terms of the sheets) we chatted. 

The topic turned towards yesterday’s booster shot and any fall-out from this.

I reported the sore arm, the fatigue, the vaguely “pre-cold” feeling, weird dreams and then, going for gold, I added:  “And when I woke up this morning, I noticed my nappy was REALLY wet so I guess the old cold trick of many-nocturnal-pees must have gotten activated…”

“Oh really?” she replied, gazing into the middle distance.  She then opined briefly on the first world tragedy that is a Saturday trip to the supermarket.

Well, at least she responded with words of some kind.  I’m confident she heard me clearly but I know better than to dwell on the point.  She didn’t ask me if I was awake or not for those many pees but I thought my language was clear enough. 

The next night was even wetter.  Quoting the philosophical cant of that giant of intellectualism, Britney: “Oops, I did it again”.  I’d flooded a BetterDry in my sleep.  This time my poor Babykins double-terry lined waterproofs had “taken one for the team”. 

This morning, the lump-under-the-covers-on-the-other-side-of-the-bed really WAS comatose.  Surreptitiously reclaiming battleground I’d lost yesterday, I hauled myself out of bed padded down to the kitchen happily to make the morning coffee clad only in my t-shirt, wet nappy and just as wet lined waterproof pants.  The cat didn't care and accepted my offer of breakfast anyway.

Upon return she had woken but her annoyance at my attire appeared to be mollified by the appearance of coffee.  As I again, squished down beside, a waft of that faint strange odour that is pee neutralised by disposable nappy chemicals washed over us. I honestly don’t believe she’s worked out what this is.  The critical thing is that it doesn’t smell like pee.

Sitting in bed sipping coffee however I realised that I was SO wet, pee had literally flowed up over the back of my BetterDry into my terries at the rear waist: it had been completely overwhelmed.  There was a tiny damp patch on the pillow I was leaning against.  It’s not every day I wet my pillow.

 When my beloved asked me how the night had been, I pointed out again that I’d woken up to find myself unusually wet.

“Oh” she replied, “Do you want some more coffee?  Perhaps she thought I was hinting at some subsequential state of personal dehydration.

I really want her to understand that at this point, nappies in bed are for her benefit as much as mine but again, there was no engagement.

With emotional satiation off the menu, at least I still had science to play with.  This was the wettest BetterDry I think I’ve ever experienced.  There was no choice but to translate that subjective opinion into a cc displacement.  I HAD to weigh it. 

With a gross weight of 2455g and a product weight typically in the region of 231g, I had somehow loaded it with just over 2.2 litres of pee!  I had ZERO insight into how or when.  I would have had to have had multiple and very substantial sleep-wetting events to get from the “slightly damp” state when I retired to the “BetterDry destroyed, wet terries” the next morning.

I don’t even know where that much pee CAME from.  I’m sure if I’d drunk 2.2 litres of fluid I probably would have noticed.  Perhaps those conspiracy theories are correct?  Secret microchips embedded in the vaccine pull down water molecules over the 5G spectrum whilst I sleep and put them in my nappy?

Anyway, the night after that, normal programming had been restored…  I awoke wet, but only averagely so for me.

[Little Sherri]

Interesting as always, @oznl. I have never, so far as I recall, mentioned how wet my diaper was, to my wife, although she did once mention it to me, I think when her parents were coming over or something like that. I never really drilled down on if her concern was the bulk, or the contents, because when she said something like "Oh, and you're changing THAT, right?", referencing my yellowing plastic baby pants, my only goal was to curtail the conversation, because I felt in that moment a crushing sense that I'd been caught doing something irresponsible; it took me back to the weekends of yore, when my mom told me to stop being lazy and go get dressed, if I still had a diaper on at lunchtime. I'm sure a Freudian could expand on that. Did your parents have to remind your siblings to get out of theirs, or did they hop out of them as soon as they woke up? 

I like to try to gently bait my betrothed into conversations on the nappy topic from time to time, usually unsuccessfully. I think I'm seeking some kind of legitimacy; if we talk about it like we talk about the groceries, maybe it will become an accepted reality, like paying taxes, and not a temporary abnormality, like, say, babysitting someone's reptile. My latest gambit was to mention again the decadent pleasure of using our heated towel rack to preheat my diaper, because the temperature outside was hovering around -21 C. Last time I brought that up, she'd warned me not to start a fire. This time, she said "Mmmmm...." or something equally committal. 

[oznl]

11 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

Did your parents have to remind your siblings to get out of theirs, or did they hop out of them as soon as they woke up?

My father of course, being the 1970s, had nothing to do with anything resembling child maintenance outside of percussive discipline.

My mother was inclined to sleep in of a morning which meant that arising and breakfast was largely self-managed by us as children even at what I’d now consider to be a courageously young age.   There were a few things that seemed "normal" at the time but I now look back and wonder what she was thinking...

I don’t recall that they did marinate for long upon arising though.  Peeling off their soggy underwear in the laundry was pretty much the first thing that they did for the day and they knew to do it themselves.  They didn’t wash though and I can remember that they tended to smell of pee at breakfast and that their beds were best avoided.  I’ve tried to learn from their error and always wash my nappy zone at my morning change and I'm very careful about leaks and bedding.  I suspect my mother was a bit carefree about both of these considerations.

In her endless pursuit of convenience however, my mother would often put them IN to their night nappies quite some time before bed (sometimes hours) and I knew for a fact that multiple siblings would routinely use their nappies before bed.  I recall her punishing them once or twice for catching them wet not long after she’d put nappies on them (the odd leak was a bit of a dead giveaway) but even then, I don’t think she actually changed them.  She just smacked them and put them to bed wet anyway. She was also inclined to yell at any kid who requested a toilet break during the night to “just do it in your nappy” to avoid having to get up herself. 

It’s a wonder any of them trained at night ever when I look back.  It was all a stark contrast to my own Spartan experience.

[oznl]

The gig economy job is over.  I am now (albeit part time), an employee again as opposed to an “independent contractor”.  Niceties such as leave, sick leave and benefits are back on the table along with a certain predictability for specific (albeit modest) weekly earnings.  Whilst remunerating a tiny fraction of my former salary, things are better.

The oft-quoted dilemma of “dare I wear nappies to work” was one that I’d resolved in the affirmative more than three years ago.  For this new job, I’d applied, been interviewed, re- interviewed, hired and inducted all whilst safely confined in heavy-duty nappies and plastic pants. If I DID somehow waver in my resolve I’d have a visual continuity crisis in reverse.  I’d appear at the office with a somewhat thinner midriff than I had done the day: a kind of “lock in” if you will.

It probably helps that I’m tall and bear shaped.  If anything, a heavy nappy helps flatten out what my beloved has often marvelled at as my disproportionately skinny bum.  In reality however I firmly believe that 90% of what people see is what they expect to see (within tolerances of course) and so we can assume a fair degree of latitude in underwear thickness without attracting notice. 

Additionally, at this stage of my 24/7 journey, whilst not strictly day-incontinent, it’s probably for the best that I wear a nappy.  I’d imagine that without it, there would be MANY bathroom breaks and for some of the equipment drop-off runs, I’m not sure what I’d do.  As my job started during a quasi-lockdown period, I didn’t get shown where the bathrooms were anyway.  I found them myself.  They MIGHT be dubiously usable for changing but would be risky and there would be no on-site opportunity for nappy disposal.

There have still been some new nappy challenges.  Before starting, I’d asked my hiring manager about the dress code.

“Wear cool” she sensibly advised, reminding me that most of the equipment I’m working on is located in an un-air-conditioned warehouse area and that I’m going to be loading and unloading equipment from a van.  “Cargo shorts, light collared t-shirt, that kind of thing…”

Mmm…   My thighs haven’t seen workplace daylight ever.  Such are the strictures of the rarefied (and brutally air-conditioned) white collar corporate world in which my work fashion sense was forged.

I quickly realised however that my reluctance towards this suggestion stemmed not from the very real risk of committing workplace-fashion-crime but rather, concerns about wearing short pants over relatively heavy nappies and plastic pants in a workplace and the associated risk of exposure.  Inescapable thoughts of glimpses of pastel-hued plastic pant elastics being exposed to co-workers during various contorting manoeuvres abounded.  My dark, long pants were not just my default corporate fashion choice as much as a key plank in my camouflage strategy.

She had a point about the lack of air conditioning though.  I’d sweated miserably through the heat in my gig-economy-near-job, dressed as I was appropriately for white collar work.

Girding padded loins, I went shopping, in a proper bricks-and-mortar work clothing store and spent an embarrassingly large amount of money on a pair of “proper” tradie/contractor shorts.

They were the first garments I’d ever tried on in a store whilst actually wearing nappies, a fact that I only realised when I pulled the translucent-thin curtain that served as a door to the ironically-named “changing room” across as best as I could and dropped my pants to expose plastic pants and nappies to whoever might choose to brush the curtain aside.  Previously, I’d just taken my known “no-nappies” pants size and upped it a couple of notches to give my some wiggle room.

I’d never bought “proper” short pants before, only the rubbishy, low cost cotton/polyester products used to lounge around the house a few times before they inevitably disintegrate under their own gravity.  These workwear-class pants (beloved by plumbers and electricians) weren’t at all cheap and as snug as they appeared, I was concerned that they weren’t TOO snug in the crotch area.  They not only had to fit OVER my nappies but once on, they should not reveal too much about those nappies to adjacent viewers.  Thus the actual ceremony of trying them on.

Looking in the mirror however, there really didn’t seem to be any particular problem with fitting given the over-size I had chosen.  A belt would solve the loose waist whilst leaving sufficient storage space in the pants themselves existed to cope with my unusually bulky underwear.

It was still a very odd feeling going to work the next day in shirt, shoes, socks but only short pants over my nappies.  I felt very “undressed” and caught myself regularly running my fingertips over various clothing borders, checking for unintentional exposures.

It was comfortable though.  By the time I got home I was pretty wet (1653ml for the scientifically curious at my evening change).  I examined myself carefully in the mirror but there still wasn’t THAT much hint about what was going on down there.  Perhaps my crotch was a little fuller and more featureless that it had been earlier in the day but I like to imagine that my new co-workers don’t spend their hours gazing at my crotch and in any case, they have no non-nappy baseline to compare it to anyway.

I’m keeping the shorts.  At least until the weather cools down which in this part of the world will be April.  Or possibly May.

Still though, there is the physicality of some aspects of this work.

For my management career job, the heaviest exercise on offer outside of man-handling a suitcase on or off an airport baggage carousel would probably have been exiting the building by the stairs when the building fire alarm went off (as it did with a monotonous regularity that was completely non- contemporaneous with any incidence of fire).

In this job however, I configure, install, deliver, collect and repair health equipment.

As I was down on all fours at a client’s site the other day, plugging cables in to a control module to a hospital bed, sweating through a somewhat-swollen nappy under my clothing, it occurred to me that the patient’s wife, standing behind and over me in well-intentioned concern lest I simply keel over in the stunning heat and humidity of the day whilst wrestling with a spanner (that's a wrench for some of you) and 20 kg metal sections, might be getting more of a view than I’d prefer.

I realise that a “Onesie” is the obvious answer here but my foil to this is that I live 26 degrees south of the equator and need additional workday insulative layers like a fish needs a bicycle.

I’m still pondering about that one…

[ozziebee]

It was suggested to me by someone ex-Mil that I should learn how to cope with heat by layering-up, and slowly de-layer as the day progressed. This was in response to a meltdown due to heat when I was up your way competing in a national championships (I think I told you where I was a few years back?).  

The theory is that your body gets used to the heat after a while, and as you de-layer, your  body cools down. 

Also drink lots of water. 

So, at first a onesie may be quite hot, you will adjust to it over time. 

Something to consider. 

[oznl]

18 hours ago, ozziebee said:

It was suggested to me by someone ex-Mil that I should learn how to cope with heat by layering-up, and slowly de-layer as the day progressed. This was in response to a meltdown due to heat when I was up your way competing in a national championships (I think I told you where I was a few years back?). 

Interesting tips thanks!

Yep.  I remember.  I was doing some work out in the Redland Bay area the last couple of weeks (last of the gig economy stuff)  and drove past that place every day and wondered what you were up to.  One day the world will get back to normal and you’ll be cursing and sweating there again.

18 hours ago, ozziebee said:

Also drink lots of water. 

So, at first a onesie may be quite hot, you will adjust to it over time.

I’ve got hydration nailed but it seems no matter how much I drink, I don’t leak so I suspect it’s largely getting sweated into my outerwear.

I’ll probably have a chat to Mr Littles Downunder next time I’m up there and get him to measure me for a onesie although I think I’m kind of holding things with my overhanging collared t-shirts.

3rd day working in shorts and nappies.  For some ineffable reason, it seems to have a very “AB” feeling to it (vs my usual “DL” proclivities).  Perhaps because shoes, socks, shorts and nappies were common attire for me as an infant back in the day, it seems to ring some kind of faint memory bell.  It’s not unpleasant, just a little weird in some respects.  I’m back home now still in my work clothes and day nappy: quite comfortable and disinclined to change too early