Newly Introduced

[New2this]

Hello, 

I was recently introduced to fact that there are men and women who are Diaper lovers.  I have had about a year of having intimacy issues with my boyfriend. We would go weeks if not months without having sex or intimate contact with each other.  I could tell something was off for him but never knew what it was.  We have always been open with each other, so it was hitting me hard that he wasnt sharing what was bothering him.  

Recently, though by accident, he divulged what has been on his mind. After noticing an increase in his desired privacy, I thought he was cheating on me.  It turns out he was just hiding this side of his life.  We have talked about it a decent amount now, but I feel like we are stuck.  He enjoys diapers sexually. Mainly it is the play on humiliation and wanting to be diapered that is intriguing for him.  We have tried a few things and have been openly talking about what he wants, which I am glad for.  

My issues lays more with mysellf than his desires. His wants are in no way a deal breaker for me. I just dont know how to embrace something that does not stir up anything sexual for me.  He has given me a few examples of scenarios we could play out, but it is incredibly difficult for me to initiate them. 

I guess my question would be, do you have any suggestions for a partner that is new to this world but wants to please their significant other? I bought him his first pack of diapers without him asking. and I think that meant a lot to him. We have both worn them, but I think he can tell I dont get a rise from it.  I want to be a good girlfriend and allow him to explore everything he is curious and intrigued with, I am just having a really hard time getting into it and finding myself going blank when trying to help him. 

 

Any suggestions? 

[NoIllDL]

It is a bit of a conundrum, isn't it?  I have been married longer than you have been alive.  My wife is the kindest, sweetest--and most vanilla--woman one would ever hope to meet.  She knew i had a few kinks, but it wasn't until perhaps 5 or 8 years ago that I really expressed my desires to her.  She accepted my diaper lover kink and didn't "run for the hills."  I was in a fairly high-power profession and I needed--maybe craved--a release, and like your boyfriend the humiliation aspect of the kink has an appeal.  I have told my wife about some scenarios that I might enjoy, but like you, she is unable to initiate them.  

So, my advice:

1.  Assess whether your relationship is long-term.  Are you talking marriage or a civil union (if allowed in your state)?  If not, you may want to back off before either of you gets hurt any more than you would by breaking up now; his kink is not going to go away.  Think about potential financial repercussions if you were to marry and then divorce.

2.  Have another frank and open conversation with your boyfriend about whether he can be intimate without a diaper.  If so, great.  If not, then see 1., above.

3.  Will he give you a list of things he would like to try with you and a diaper?  If he is into humiliation to some degree, and since you don't "get it" (understandably!), then maybe let him "top from the bottom" and follow his instructions.

4.  On date nights, tell him to diaper-up before going out and have him consume a couple of tumblers of water before hitting the road for your destination.   Then see what happens and whether he likes the humiliation aspect as much as he thought he would.  

The bottom line, in my opinion, is that you can no more be someone you are not than your boyfriend can turn off his kink.  My wife never initiates diaper play and your situation sounds much like what I have lived with for 40 years of dating and marriage.  It's just not her thing.  With us, that's o.k.  Communication of desires, expectations, and boundaries is key.  Both of you need to be 100% physically and emotionally in the relationship.

Best of luck, New2this.

[littleTomás]

I'm not currently in a relationship, but if I was all I could ask for is that my girlfriend is ok with my behavior. I think that fact that you are supporting him is fantastic. Relationships are all about making compromises. Set agreed upon limits on the frequency of diaper play situations. Clearly this means a lot to your boyfriend and you can look at this as an opportunity for the two of you to grow closer and deal with challenges together. Take small steps and make sure that both of you are comfortable before you proceed. Also Step 3 (in previous post) is fantastic advice. If it doesn't do anything for you and you don't know how to proceed Sometimes seeking professional help can be good and have a very positive impact on a relationship. If you want to look down that avenue, good starting point would be contacting Dr. Rhoda Lipscomb. She is a certified sex therapist and the diaper expert.

If I had to guess, I would wager that your boyfriend is still in shock over the fact that someone else knows he likes to wear diapers. I haven't told a single person I've met in person that I enjoy diapers. If he can't clearly articulate to you what he wants it may be because he doesn't fully understand what he wants. In my own experience I have spent a lot of time thinking about diapers, but if someone walked in and said, "I'll do anything you want related to diapers," I wouldn't know what to say.

At the end of the day trust your heart, your gut, and your god

Hope this helps,

Tomás

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

On 12/3/2018 at 3:20 PM, New2this said:

Hello, 

I was recently introduced to fact that there are men and women who are Diaper lovers.  I have had about a year of having intimacy issues with my boyfriend. We would go weeks if not months without having sex or intimate contact with each other.  I could tell something was off for him but never knew what it was.  We have always been open with each other, so it was hitting me hard that he wasnt sharing what was bothering him.  

Recently, though by accident, he divulged what has been on his mind. After noticing an increase in his desired privacy, I thought he was cheating on me.  It turns out he was just hiding this side of his life.  We have talked about it a decent amount now, but I feel like we are stuck.  He enjoys diapers sexually. Mainly it is the play on humiliation and wanting to be diapered that is intriguing for him.  We have tried a few things and have been openly talking about what he wants, which I am glad for.  

My issues lays more with mysellf than his desires. His wants are in no way a deal breaker for me. I just dont know how to embrace something that does not stir up anything sexual for me.  He has given me a few examples of scenarios we could play out, but it is incredibly difficult for me to initiate them. 

I guess my question would be, do you have any suggestions for a partner that is new to this world but wants to please their significant other? I bought him his first pack of diapers without him asking. and I think that meant a lot to him. We have both worn them, but I think he can tell I dont get a rise from it.  I want to be a good girlfriend and allow him to explore everything he is curious and intrigued with, I am just having a really hard time getting into it and finding myself going blank when trying to help him. 

 

Any suggestions? 

First and most importantly welcome to the lifestyle and our forum.  As I read your situation with your boyfriend it reminded me a lot of some of the padded trials and tribulations my wife and I have had to endure.

You should pat yourself on the back for being open minded about your boyfriend's fetish.  For many woman diapers can be a death sentence to a relationship for a multitude of reasons.  Your boyfriend should be thankful he has you.

There is no wrong or right answer when it comes to giving you guidance with this situation.  As someone that is programmed like your boyfriend I know my desire to be humiliated is almost constant.  Wearing diapers on a permanent basis significantly tames that desire and allows me to live a healthy life as a husband and a father.

Two of the most important things when dealing with diapers and a significant other are communicating with one another and honesty.  Let him share his desires and his feelings about wearing diapers but also insure that he listens and understands your questions and concerns.  Should you two find yourself in a disagreement over wearing diapers an open and honest line of communication can help for you to find a compromise.

I must warn you from personal experience diapers and humiliation can be very addicting and controlling.  I can not live without both and it took a lot of time and understanding before my wife understood this.  She certainly did not dream of being with a soulmate that needs to wear pink diapers constantly with princesses on them.  In a way my needs and desires were more important than hers as she would have preferred to be more traditional in the bedroom.  In a way my desires to be diapered was selfish and unfair to her but I was painfully honest about the situation.  I was never going to stop desiring humiliation and wearing diapers and she had to make the tough decision to accept that or move on.  I am so grateful she elected to be by my side padding and all.

When it comes to diapers and sexual pleasure in some relationships it can be hard for a woman to compete.  I know I prefer masturbating in a diaper than having sexual intercourse with my wife.  There are several reasons for this.  First and foremost it is humiliating.  Simply masturbating in from of your significant other can be humiliating in it's on right but it is taken to a whole new level when you are humping a used pink diaper as you look into your wife's eyes as she verbally emasculates you. 

Almost of equal importance is that I do not have to worry about pleasuring a diaper.  An inanimate object does not have to have an orgasm.  My wife and I are almost physically sexually incompatible.  I say almost because only once in our almost ten years of marriage have I been able the make her orgasm through traditional sexual intercourse.  This is a combination of not being well endowed, prematurely ejaculating, and that my wife cannot orgasm clitorally.  My wife either orgasms from toys or by cuckolding me with a man better suited to tend to her sexual needs.  It does not get more humiliating than that.

Just be patient but do not allow your desires or sexual needs to not be fulfilled.  If you become deprived or frustrated then your feelings towards your boyfriend wearing diapers can change significantly for the worse.  He needs to understand your needs must be met as well.

As far as ways to use diapers to excite and humiliate your boyfriend I can go on for days providing suggestions and ideas to accomplish that.  I have experienced almost everything imaginable.  Should you desire more details just PM me and I will share them with you any time.

I hope this helps and I wish you two the best of luck and please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions or concerns.  I often times go out of my way to help couples like you as I have been in your shoes and so has my wife.

[horrorfan]

If you are worried about an inability to get into his fetish, you could always introduce a few kinks of your own. Another thing you can try is to work on a different persona for when you try to get intimate with him, which happens to be what many people do for work, myself included (the 'you' that you act out in the bedroom isn't necessarily who you are as a person, but it just helps fulfill your role to him... to demonstrate, I used to work retail and despite depression problems I would always have to act cheerful and outgoing, even though I am literally the exact opposite of that, in fact when I worked my CNA job the residents could not tell that I'm a doom and gloom kinda guy).

Otherwise, it's exactly as the other guys said; be open and honest and if you feel this can't be long term then there's nothing wrong with seeing different people.