complete Breaking the Girl: A Novel

[chansu ragedashi]

8 hours ago, bbykimmy said:

I would love it if people told me who their favorite character is at this point in the story... but it's also really early yet

I think it's too early for me to pick a definitive favorite, but jess is definitely in the running (I'm trying to figure out dani still so I haven't decided of she's higher or lower on the list than jess right now.)

Kaylee seems like someone that would get on my nerves within an hour of knowing her.

[Bonsai]

Each chapter adds more pressure to Vanessa. By how she’s wired, she tends to welcome each new challenge with a tactical circumnavigation/strategical frontal assault. I’m wondering:

a) how much she’s honest with herself about her stamina reserves;

b) the day she cracks, will she go down gracefully, or else?

So far, this is my favourite story among the  ones you have written. Your characters here seem to have more facets than in, for instance, the story you are currently keeping in standby; some of their personality traits appear slightly contradictory and that paradoxally makes things more believable. It looks like you captured well the essence of the true persons that were the main source of your inspiration.

[bbykimmy]

16 hours ago, YourFNF said:

Favorite would probably be Dani just seems the most well innocent in all this either that or Julian but I honestly don't know Dani that well.

One for Dani!

13 hours ago, Babyqtboy said:

Good chapter, I liked it  Dani is my favorite character so far. There is more to her than meets the eye and I think Vanessa is going to finally get the challenge she wants. I almost feel like Dani is toying with Vanessa 

Two for Dani!

We'll have to see if Dani is toying with Vanessa

12 hours ago, RambleLamb said:

This is a delight to read as always! My favorite character is Vanessa because, while I'm convinced she's a sociopath, or at the very least is on the spectrum...the other spectrum, the criminal/mastermind one, I feel like she's a "still water's run deep" kind of character and I find her very intriguing. I don't think she's as bad as we've been led to believe but I'm also very trusting and not great at judging people's nefarious motives.

Fun fact: I read Kailee's voice in the voice this girl I went to school with had and couldn't figure out why I had a headache and it turned out I was gritting my teeth REALLY hard because of the voice. She and Opal can go to the "Island of Misfit B Holes" and never come back once the story is over.

Keep up the great work!

Thaaaaaaanks <3

There is a particular person who was my inspiration for her voice, I won't name names because it's not nice, but watching her made me go.  "Man, I wish she'd stop the voice."

One for Opal!

And One for Vanessa!

12 hours ago, ELLIE52 said:

Okay, so much for going dark and leaving the comment life.  I'll just try to do less of it, and get back to my real life somehow.

I actually LIKE Vanessa.  I like her ways as well.  Not sure what that says for me.

I would miss you if you vanished, Ellie!  I'm sorry if stories are interfering with your real life

Two for Vanessa!

9 hours ago, chansu ragedashi said:

I think it's too early for me to pick a definitive favorite, but jess is definitely in the running (I'm trying to figure out dani still so I haven't decided of she's higher or lower on the list than jess right now.)

Kaylee seems like someone that would get on my nerves within an hour of knowing her.

You can always change favorites later, chansu

I'm counting yours for Jess!

One for Jess!

7 hours ago, Bonsai said:

Each chapter adds more pressure to Vanessa. By how she’s wired, she tends to welcome each new challenge with a tactical circumnavigation/strategical frontal assault. I’m wondering:

a) how much she’s honest with herself about her stamina reserves;

b) the day she cracks, will she go down gracefully, or else?

So far, this is my favourite story among the  ones you have written. Your characters here seem to have more facets than in, for instance, the story you are currently keeping in standby; some of their personality traits appear slightly contradictory and that paradoxally makes things more believable. It looks like you captured well the essence of the true persons that were the main source of your inspiration.

Hiiiiii Bonsai, you're the perfect shape.  I love that you're reading so deeply into the characters and anticipating what is to come.

I'm really enjoying writing this story - I think it'll be pretty hard to unseat "Best of It" as my best work, but this one feels really good.  Thank you for the wonderful compliments <3

We'll have to see how long Vanessa keep it up.

[Wannatripbaby]

I find it weird that so many people are turning against Vanessa. Like, sure, she's a stalker. But who does that hurt? Her intentions are pure. She sets out to learn about her prospective Little so that she can know if there's any hope for the relationship before investing months of her life and energy. Of course, it doesn't always work out. As is the case with Lauren and Kailee. But still, am I the only one who would actually be flattered if a girl put this kind of effort into dating me?

[bbykimmy]

Chapter Seven

It was Friday evening before Seth contacted me about the information I wanted.  I was eating dinner when his face replaced Admiral Adama's on my TV.  Jess was sitting on the floor at his feet, sucking on an oversized baby bottle of chocolate milk.  She paused long enough to wave.

"So what did you find out?" I asked him, setting my plate down on the coffee table and picking up the bottle of hard cider.  One of the joyous things about my relationship was Seth was that neither of us really cared for the bullshit pleasantries that usually preceded meaningful conversation.  "Thanks for doing this, by the way.  Work has been... well, work.  So who is this guy?  What's his weakness?  String of bad exes?  Votes Republican?"

"I haven't gotten a bead on him yet," Seth frowned.  "All you gave me was a first name of someone she mentioned.  There's nobody in her immediate orbit that has the legal first name Julian.  I need more to go on.  She didn't go too many places on Thursday - grocery shopping, an Italian bistro, and she bought something from a small vendor near Las Palmas park.  Thank goodness that even street vendors use Square, huh?"

"Well crap," I frowned in return, slumping on the couch.  "He could be anyone.  Thanks for looking, I'll see if I can get more detail.  I don't think it's anyone she already knew.  She said she met him the day before our date - so I'd wager she met him for the first time on Thursday, it's not someone already in her social circles."

"If you can get me any of the usual PII, I'm happy to help you figure this out.  Chances are that, in this town, she's with an asshole of one kind or another."

"Thanks Seth," I sighed.

"So," Seth began a new conversational thread rather than hanging up, as I had expected.  "When are you doing the thing?"  His eyes looked down at Jess without moving his head - he hadn't told her I intended to take her out.

"I haven't forgotten," I assured him.  "And thanks for the credits, I know just what I'm going to buy with them."  I paused for a moment, noting that Jess had checked out of the conversation completely to focus on her bottle.  She was laying her head on the couch at this point, holding the bottle straight up and down.  "Jess," I called softly.  "Are you having a good day?"

"Huh?" she looked at the camera with confusion.  I couldn't blame her, I rarely spoke to her on these calls - she rarely had anything of value to offer.  "Yes Nessa, I had a good day."  She smiled an enormous smile as Seth began stroking her hair.

"I thought that maybe you'd like to go out to a bar or two on Tuesday?  Just the two of us, dinner and drinks - we'll have a good time."

"What?" she looked a little shocked, and looked up to Seth.  He was inscrutable, she'd get nothing from him.  "Out?  To a bar?  I dunno... "  She looked visibly uncomfortable, and I knew in that moment that we needed to make her.

"Cupcake," Seth said softly, stroking her hair again, "Vanessa would like for you to go with her, will you do that for me?"

"Yes Daddy," Jess bit her lip, setting the bottle down and wrapping her arms tightly around his leg.  She was afraid.  "I would like to go with you, Auntie Nessa."

"Thank you Jess," I smiled a smile that said 'You are a good girl', "we're going to have a lovely evening.  I want you to pick out a nice dress to wear to dinner, okay?  You're not going as a baby, you're going as my adult friend.  But I still expect you to behave."

"Yes Auntie Nessa," she nodded solemnly.

"I think," Seth smiled down at her, "that someone has earned a treat.  I'll talk to you later, Vanessa.  Let me know when you've got some more info to go on.  We'll figure this out."

And with that, I found myself looking at Battlestar Galactica once more.  I smirked and picked up my plate - knowing those two, Jess was ramping up for a temper tantrum right now.

*    *    *

My heart pounded in my chest as I watched the screen go dark.  I was afraid and excited all at the same time.  I clung tightly to Daddy's leg, waiting for him to explain what my treat was going to be... but it was hard to let go of the anxiety of my now-looming outing with Nessa.

"Okay Cupcake," Daddy practically purred.  I squirmed in my wet diaper at his feet, burying my face in his thigh.  "What would you like for a treat?  We can get you a nice piece of cake or... "

"Tantrum!" I giggled into his leg.  Tantrums were the best.  I had to get special permission to really let go, Daddy loved punishing me, loved it when I broke the rules, but a tantrum was loud and sometimes things got broken so we agreed that I could only have one under special circumstances.  It was going to get me in so much trouble and it was going to be amazing.

"Of course," he laughed his deep rumbly laugh.  He grabbed my by the upper arms, pulling me into his lap.  The diaper squelched between my thighs, releasing a little of the hot urine to press against my skin... I was really wet, this one would leak if I didn't get changed soon, but I didn't get to decide that.  Just the thought, even after all this time of living with him and being full time, set my pulse to racing.  I felt incredibly aroused as he took me gently by the face and guided me toward him for a soft kiss.  He took a moment to tickle my nose with his beard and I laughed.  Beard tickles were the best.  "What are you going to tantrum over?"

"Does it matter?" I giggled again, "Just make something up, Daddy."

He pushed me gently to my feet and I walked away from the couch as he turned on the music in the living room, activiating the white noise machines in the bedroom and nursery at the same time with his phone.  We didn't want the neighbors worrying, after all.

"Cupcake," he said in his stern Daddy-voice.  My knees felt weak already.  "I told you to clean up your room today, didn't I.  Is your room clean?"

"No Daddy," I said meekly, twisting a bit, feeling delightfully vulnerable in nothing but a soft pink onesie and a sodden diaper.  "I forgotted."

"I guess you don't want a new toy after all then?"

"But I want it!"  I protested - it didn't matter what the toy was, I wanted it.  I slipped deeper into the role, this was my favorite part of the dynamic, the unrepentant brat and the dominating Daddy.  Knowing him, he already had a toy in mind... which meant I would love it.  "I want it!  Daddy, get me the toy!"

"Good girls get toys," he stood, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down at me with those cold blue eyes.  A chill went down my spine - when he wanted to be, he was incredibly intimidating.  "I don't think you deserve a toy.  I don't think you're getting a toy."

"No!" I screamed, stomping my foot at him.  I felt the heat rising in my face.  "I want a toy!  I'm your cupcake and you should buy me the toy!"

"Go to your room, Cupcake," he said in his warning tone.  "Now."

"No!" I shouted again, "I want my toy!"  This was it - this was the moment, he'd push me over the edge and I'd tantrum and then the game would begin in earnest.  My heart was pounding in my chest, wondering what he would do to me.  "I want my toy NOW!"

"You're being a bad girl, Cupcake.  Go to your room right now, there's no way you're getting your new toy.  No toys for Cupcake."

"It's not fair!" I cried, flopping to the ground and kicking my feet, slamming my fists against the floor.  "It's not fair!  You're a MEAN Daddy!  You said I could have a toy and I WANT IT.  I WANT MY TOY!"  It took everything I had not to laugh from the sheer ridiculousness of it, but I was invested.  Next he would count...

"One," his foot tapped against the floor and my stomach flopped at that single syllable.  If this were real, if I were really testing him and not getting a treat, just him saying 'one' would have me begging for mercy at his feet and apologizing, but now... 

"No!" I screamed again, flailing.  "IT'S NOT FAIR!"  Oh, screaming that was so satisfying, so cathartic.

"Two... "

My breath came hot and heavy as I rolled over and began climbing to my feet... the next part was about to begin...

"No Daddy!  No counting!  Stop!  Just give me my toy!"

"Three."  He growled - his tone no longer warning - taking a step toward me.  I darted away, relishing the fire in his eyes, that faux fury that I could only hope he enjoyed as much as I enjoyed my fake tantrum.

"No Daddy!"  I squealed as I ran from him.  "Please!  I'm going to my room, I'm sorry!"  I dashed for the door to the nursery, but he was so fast, his legs were so much longer than mine.  I slipped inside the room and started to close the door, but his arm was there, forcing it open.

"You're in trouble, little girl," he growled.  "When I count, you obey."

"I'm sorry Daddy!" I squealed, actually pushing with all I had against the door, but I was slowly losing.  He forced it open slowly and I moved away once he stepped into the room, walking backward as he advanced on me.  He was so tall, I felt so tiny as his hand reached for me.  "No Daddy!  Wait!"

His hand closed around my wrist and I knew then that I was doomed.  I couldn't keep the grin from my face as the world spun and I found myself face down in the plush carpet, my arm twisted behind my back.  And then came the mittens.  Oh, he was really giving me a treat tonight.  I squirmed helplessly as he slipped the first pink leather mitten over my right hand, then my left.  My breath was short and heavy as I felt the buckles tighten, heard the locks click shut.

"I'm sorry Daddy," I squeaked as he flipped me over, pushing my now-useless hands above my head.

"You were a bad girl, Cupcake," he purred, his face leaning close to mine.  I felt him clip the ends of the gloves together with one hand as he reached between my legs with the other, squishing my wet diaper against my pussy.  I moaned, bucking against the pressure of his hand.  It could go either way now, I was captured.  He could give me pleasure or pain.  He could grab the Hitachi and drive me insane, giving me orgasm after orgasm... or I could find myself over his knee and receiving a deliciously scary spanking.  I was goo in his hands, I was helpless before him.  He would do whatever he wanted with me.

And I would love every minute.

"I love you Daddy," I whispered.  He leaned down, pressing his lips to mine, tickling me with his moustache as he slid his tongue between my lips.  I couldn't imagine life without him now.  I was his Cupcake, he was my Daddy.  And I wouldn't have it any other way.

[ELLIE52]

20 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

I find it weird that so many people are turning against Vanessa. Like, sure, she's a stalker. But who does that hurt? Her intentions are pure. She sets out to learn about her prospective Little so that she can know if there's any hope for the relationship before investing months of her life and energy. Of course, it doesn't always work out. As is the case with Lauren and Kailee. But still, am I the only one who would actually be flattered if a girl put this kind of effort into dating me?

Like I said, I LIKE Vanessa.  I haven't decided how I like her totally, but the efforts she is putting in, I find to be almost admirable if that makes sense, sort of like you are saying.  It is a work of fiction and it just makes her character have more layers.   I always liked intensity in intimate relationships so yeah, I would be flattered.

I wish Aubrey had not entered the picture.  Don't spoil anything please. I worry that instead of focusing on countering Aubrey, Vanessa is distracted, when maybe she should not be.

Kimmy, I think you left out Trip's count on Vanessa, and Aries' count on Jess, making those 2 up 1.  Is it time yet for your polls?

 

[Jayme]

Each character has a dynamic flow with the story. Although Kylee(spelling?) Was hard to get a read on as there was so little about her to read about. Kimmy you have done it yet again and I'm glad you have shared this with us here.

[Guilend]

49 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

What?" she looked a little shocked, and looked up to Seth.  He was inscrutable, she'd get nothing from him.  "Out?  To a bar?  I dunno... "  She looked visibly uncomfortable, and I knew in that moment that we needed to make her.

For a second i though Seth would have messy diaper to change after that shock lol. I am also happy how you changed over to Seth and Jess, that was an awesome scene that we got to watch unfold.

[bbykimmy]

52 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

I find it weird that so many people are turning against Vanessa. Like, sure, she's a stalker. But who does that hurt? Her intentions are pure. She sets out to learn about her prospective Little so that she can know if there's any hope for the relationship before investing months of her life and energy. Of course, it doesn't always work out. As is the case with Lauren and Kailee. But still, am I the only one who would actually be flattered if a girl put this kind of effort into dating me?

Vanessa is a complicated character - I'm actually glad that there's disagreement on her

33 minutes ago, ELLIE52 said:

Like I said, I LIKE Vanessa.  I haven't decided how I like her totally, but the efforts she is putting in, I find to be almost admirable if that makes sense, sort of like you are saying.  It is a work of fiction and it just makes her character have more layers.   I always liked intensity in intimate relationships so yeah, I would be flattered.

I wish Aubrey had not entered the picture.  Don't spoil anything please. I worry that instead of focusing on countering Aubrey, Vanessa is distracted, when maybe she should not be.

Kimmy, I think you left out Trip's count on Vanessa, and Aries' count on Jess, making those 2 up 1.  Is it time yet for your polls?

 

I don't think so, the favorite count was just a fun little thing - the relationship web here isn't nearly as complicated, there's only one dominant vying for Dani.  "It's the Little Choices" was especially suited for a poll because we had one main character with multiple potential love interests - I won't say more than that 'cuz I want RambleLamb to read "Little Choices" this weekend.  She hated the DD until I begged her to read "Best of It"

If there's going to be a poll, it will probably have to be limited to "Who is your favorite Little?"

7 minutes ago, Jayme said:

Each character has a dynamic flow with the story. Although Kylee(spelling?) Was hard to get a read on as there was so little about her to read about. Kimmy you have done it yet again and I'm glad you have shared this with us here.

Thanks Jayme!  We haven't seen a lot of Kailee, but you've definitely got a taste of her personality.

I'm glad Aries, Trip, Ellie, and other commenters talked me into picking this one back up.  I probably wouldn't have otherwise.

7 minutes ago, Aries said:

For a second i though Seth would have messy diaper to change after that shock lol. I am also happy how you changed over to Seth and Jess, that was an awesome scene that we got to watch unfold.

Thaaaaaanks - I think this chapter is my favorite so far, writing Jess' perspective was fuuuuuuuuuuun.

I love throwing temper tantrums like that, it's my favorite thing.  I haven't gotten to since March :/

[ELLIE52]

Ummm....  so have the names at least been introduced for the full cast yet?

[bbykimmy]

22 minutes ago, ELLIE52 said:

Ummm....  so have the names at least been introduced for the full cast yet?

I have written through chapter 19 - the names mentioned so far cover the entire cast, but there's no guarantee I won't add another character later.  I didn't dream up Opal until I was well into Act 2 of "Best of It", after all  

[Kio Rampas]

2 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

I find it weird that so many people are turning against Vanessa. Like, sure, she's a stalker. But who does that hurt? Her intentions are pure. She sets out to learn about her prospective Little so that she can know if there's any hope for the relationship before investing months of her life and energy. Of course, it doesn't always work out. As is the case with Lauren and Kailee. But still, am I the only one who would actually be flattered if a girl put this kind of effort into dating me?

When people go to stalker levels of effort to get to know someone, it's not usually for a nice reason.

When you hang out with someone or date them you're finding out about them based on questions you ask and stuff they volunteer about themselves. They are in effect consenting to you knowing this stuff. 

If someone goes to other sources and digs up stuff about you without your knowledge, that's an invasion. Someone who would do that might be comfortable crossing other boundaries of yours, or not take rejection peacefully, and that's why stalkery behaviour can be frightening to people on the receiving end, especially when you have no idea what the stalker's intentions are.

[bbykimmy]

4 minutes ago, Kio Rampas said:

When people go to stalker levels of effort to get to know someone, it's not usually for a nice reason.

When you hang out with someone or date them you're finding out about them based on questions you ask and stuff they volunteer about themselves. They are in effect consenting to you knowing this stuff. 

If someone goes to other sources and digs up stuff about you without your knowledge, that's an invasion. Someone who would do that might be comfortable crossing other boundaries of yours, or not take rejection peacefully, and that's why stalkery behaviour can be frightening to people on the receiving end, especially when you have no idea what the stalker's intentions are.

This is ABSOLUTELY TRUE.  And I do not condone Vanessa's behavior - what she did to learn about Dani, and what Seth is doing to learn about Julian is wrong.  Invasion of privacy is wrong.

This story is for entertainment purposes only - if you're new to my writing, I tend to write deeply flawed characters.  I think I've only written 1 character ever that is worthy of holding up as a role model.

[Wannatripbaby]

13 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

I think I've only written 1 character ever that is worthy of holding up as a role model

Who would that be, I wonder? Maybe Cam from Little Choices? That was the name of the lady that ran the Store, right?

[ELLIE52]

3 hours ago, bbykimmy said:

I'm sorry if stories are interfering with your real life

Correction.  I can't have you thinking that.

I keep meandering the whole site, finding too many other things.  I am going to start limiting to Story Only, I think.  I wouldn't want you to think I am ungrateful, because I am not.  I am appreciative for the stories.  I do not look a gift horse in the mouth..... whatever that means.

[bbykimmy]

44 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Who would that be, I wonder? Maybe Cam from Little Choices? That was the name of the lady that ran the Store, right?

I was thinking of April

27 minutes ago, ELLIE52 said:

Correction.  I can't have you thinking that.

I keep meandering the whole site, finding too many other things.  I am going to start limiting to Story Only, I think.  I wouldn't want you to think I am ungrateful, because I am not.  I am appreciative for the stories.  I do not look a gift horse in the mouth..... whatever that means.

Okay <3

I do like hearing from you

As for gift horses... "Since horses' teeth grow over time, checking their length is a way of gauging old age. However, doing such a check would be a sign of mistrust towards the giver."

[Wannatripbaby]

10 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

I was thinking of April 

Yeah, I thought so. But I thought it was too obvious so I picked Cam. Cam is pretty good too, right? She was about the only person in that story with a proper respect for boundaries.

[bbykimmy]

4 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Yeah, I thought so. But I thought it was too obvious so I picked Cam. Cam is pretty good too, right? She was about the only person in that story with a proper respect for boundaries.

You do have me there - even April supports the subjugation of Littles for their own good.  She's gentle and kind about it, she cares about their wellbeing... but she has boundary issues.

[thedman]

I making 4 votes for Jess after the tantrum

[fyunch]

This is a really delightful story.  The concept is out of the ordinary, the writing is excellent, and the pacing is delicious.

[chansu ragedashi]

4 hours ago, thedman said:

I making 4 votes for Jess after the tantrum

Yeah... that tantrum scene was amazing!

If Dani doesn't move fast I might try to start a petition for a side-story focusing on Jess and Seth's happenings.

[Guilend]

42 minutes ago, chansu ragedashi said:

If Dani doesn't move fast I might try to start a petition for a side-story focusing on Jess and Seth's happenings.

You have my vote 

[Babyqtboy]

Sorry just now commenting, busy trying to move. Suffice to say I didn’t leave myself much room between closing on new house and promise to be out of rental house lol awesome chapter as always. Not sure what else to, waiting with abated breath for each new chapter, slowly dying from anticipation while secretly hoping it never ends  

[YourFNF]

Well that was fun

[bbykimmy]

10 hours ago, thedman said:

I making 4 votes for Jess after the tantrum

Jess is fun   She is really fun to write, I should write more from her perspective.

5 hours ago, fyunch said:

This is a really delightful story.  The concept is out of the ordinary, the writing is excellent, and the pacing is delicious.

Thanks fyunch!  I'm glad you're enjoying it!  Who's your favorite character so far?

5 hours ago, chansu ragedashi said:

Yeah... that tantrum scene was amazing!

If Dani doesn't move fast I might try to start a petition for a side-story focusing on Jess and Seth's happenings.

It was delightful to write, I've re-read it like 10 times.  I had soooooo much fun with this scene.

Here's the problem with a Jess+Seth side-story... if it's a story I'm writing, there's going to be big emotions going on, do you really want to put poor Jess through that?

5 hours ago, Aries said:

You have my vote 

Sorry Aries, Seth isn't ending up in diapers

2 hours ago, Babyqtboy said:

Sorry just now commenting, busy trying to move. Suffice to say I didn’t leave myself much room between closing on new house and promise to be out of rental house lol awesome chapter as always. Not sure what else to, waiting with abated breath for each new chapter, slowly dying from anticipation while secretly hoping it never ends  

You don't have to apologize, QT - good luck on your move!  Time windows can be tough like that.

The update schedule is predictable at least - a new chapter ever single weekday

It will end eventually though, all good stories must end - and I want this one to be a good one.

31 minutes ago, YourFNF said:

Well that was fun

I'm glad you enjoyed it!  I enjoyed writing it!

YAY!  We did it!

I was the winner for an entire week again, I haven't done that in like a year, since "Little Choices" ran the first time, I think.

Thank you to everyone who hits that "Like" button on my posts.  My current goal is to have more "days won" than anyone else!