complete Breaking the Girl: A Novel

[bbykimmy]

4 minutes ago, RPMolly said:

You my dear are a dream, damn the ocean and your status of being taken.

 

Haven't played Heroes of the Storm, I liked DPS in League and I'm on a bit of a Mercy kick in Overwatch which has not been inspired at all by the ABDL Fan Art of Mercy and Dva I've seen.

Maybe on day i'll have a house and somewhere to do the full nursery gimmick my flat however would involve taking my status as the weird one in my friendship group to a whole new level.

Heroes of the Storm is like League but without last hitting and a fraction of the meaniebutts.  Playing support is actually fun and challenging and it doesn't just involve propping up your ADC and getting no credit but all the blame.  Every team needs a healer and nobody wants to do it.

I highly recommend the game, it's friendly to F2P players, too.  I also main Mercy in Overwatch 'cuz I'm apparently some stereotypical gamer girl I guess?  I have really bad aim, I'm bad at FPS but Mercy allows me to help without having to get headshots.

Too bad my mommy-type doesn't play  X_X

She finds fast paced games stressful, even Overcooked is too much for her.

My friend group actually knows about my little side, they know I write smut stories and that I go to ageplay conventions.  I'm not saying everyone should confess to their friends, but a good friend doesn't really care what kind of underwear you like or what brings you joy in your private moments.

4 minutes ago, HyperShark said:

Rest in peace my guess of 35 chapters.

Been playing HOTS quite a lot recently. I tend find a few heroes that I like and stick with them rather than going for a set role. Sgt Hammer has been my hero of choice recently. So OP.

HotS is my jam.  I play Lucio (who is also my jam and my beat and my beet jam), Deckard (love him), Morales, Stukov, Malf, and Tassadar.  I play Greymane, Fenix, Valla, Varian, ETC, Muradin... and pretty much every specialist.  I miss when Murky was good.  I was the nightmare Octograb assassin Murky that made people cry.

I've actually been playing since the alpha, I have my golden alpha portrait

[RPMolly]

5 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

 

My friend group actually knows about my little side, they know I write smut stories and that I go to ageplay conventions.  I'm not saying everyone should confess to their friends, but a good friend doesn't really care what kind of underwear you like or what brings you joy in your private moments.

It's not that I don't think my friends wouldn't understand the term weird is definitely a term of endearment for them, the way I look at it is say I tell my best friend who I have no romantic interest in that hey depending on the girl sometimes I want to be babied and sometimes I want to do the babying is it going to enhance or strengthen our relationship in anyway not really.

[bbykimmy]

5 minutes ago, RPMolly said:

It's not that I don't think my friends wouldn't understand the term weird is definitely a term of endearment for them, the way I look at it is say I tell my best friend who I have no romantic interest in that hey depending on the girl sometimes I want to be babied and sometimes I want to do the babying is it going to enhance or strengthen our relationship in anyway not really.

Totally - for them it was an emotional support thing because I was having a really hard time with my mommy-type and went into it during a breakdown.  I was surprised that nobody really cared - it was nice

[YourFNF]

13 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

Heroes of the Storm is like League but without last hitting and a fraction of the meaniebutts.  Playing support is actually fun and challenging and it doesn't just involve propping up your ADC and getting no credit but all the blame.  Every team needs a healer and nobody wants to do it.

I highly recommend the game, it's friendly to F2P players, too.  I also main Mercy in Overwatch 'cuz I'm apparently some stereotypical gamer girl I guess?  I have really bad aim, I'm bad at FPS but Mercy allows me to help without having to get headshots.

Too bad my mommy-type doesn't play  X_X

She finds fast paced games stressful, even Overcooked is too much for her.

My friend group actually knows about my little side, they know I write smut stories and that I go to ageplay conventions.  I'm not saying everyone should confess to their friends, but a good friend doesn't really care what kind of underwear you like or what brings you joy in your private moments.

HotS is my jam.  I play Lucio (who is also my jam and my beat and my beet jam), Deckard (love him), Morales, Stukov, Malf, and Tassadar.  I play Greymane, Fenix, Valla, Varian, ETC, Muradin... and pretty much every specialist.  I miss when Murky was good.  I was the nightmare Octograb assassin Murky that made people cry.

I've actually been playing since the alpha, I have my golden alpha portrait

I'm not really into competive games but I think it be fun to play a few rounds if you're interested. I have a discord but my mike isn't currently working.

 

I actually came out to a couple close friends about this and got a surprisingly positive reaction.

[RPMolly]

4 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

Totally - for them it was an emotional support thing because I was having a really hard time with my mommy-type and went into it during a breakdown.  I was surprised that nobody really cared - it was nice

Not caring sounds like an ideal - what is completely cringe worthy even if they did it for the sake of trying to show how open they are is if they tried engaging with me as if I was little, in the kind of way I get now when I'm at work and it comes out I'm gay and to show me how much they accept this they like to tell me who else they know who is gay.

[Wannatripbaby]

10 minutes ago, YourFNF said:

actually came out to a couple close friends about this and got a surprisingly positive reaction.

That's awesome!

I still have not told anyone and I plan on keeping it that way.

[HyperShark]

20 minutes ago, YourFNF said:

I'm not really into competive games but I think it be fun to play a few rounds if you're interested. I have a discord but my mike isn't currently working.

HOTS is fairly non-competitive and casual as far as MOBAs go. (I should know I have played 1.8k hours of Dota) It would be cool if we could get a squad of HOTS players from DD together. I will PM you my Battle.net

 

[YourFNF]

6 minutes ago, HyperShark said:

HOTS is fairly non-competitive and casual as far as MOBAs go. (I should know I have played 1.8k hours of Dota) It would be cool if we could get a squad of HOTS players from DD together. I will PM you my Battle.Net

 

Cool I've never played it before but I'm down to try.

[bbykimmy]

48 minutes ago, YourFNF said:

I'm not really into competive games but I think it be fun to play a few rounds if you're interested. I have a discord but my mike isn't currently working.

 

I actually came out to a couple close friends about this and got a surprisingly positive reaction.

I might take you up on that at some point - right now I only get to play about 2 hours per week and that's the only time I spend with my best friend, so I can't give that up.  The rest of my free time right now is going into writing stories.

Sightlines, holy moly Sightlines.  I think you're gonna like it.  You especially.

45 minutes ago, RPMolly said:

Not caring sounds like an ideal - what is completely cringe worthy even if they did it for the sake of trying to show how open they are is if they tried engaging with me as if I was little, in the kind of way I get now when I'm at work and it comes out I'm gay and to show me how much they accept this they like to tell me who else they know who is gay.

Wow.

I'm sorry that happened to you.  It's an orientation, not a club, people!

39 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

That's awesome!

I still have not told anyone and I plan on keeping it that way.

And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

34 minutes ago, HyperShark said:

HOTS is fairly non-competitive and casual as far as MOBAs go. (I should know I have played 1.8k hours of Dota) It would be cool if we could get a squad of HOTS players from DD together. I will PM you my Battle.net

 

It's strategically deep in a different way - it does NOT require the game knowledge of Dota.  I will never play Dota because I don't like it when people are mean to me.  I play HotS with the chat turned off.

30 minutes ago, YourFNF said:

Cool I've never played it before but I'm down to try.

It's fun and it's free - give it a shot

[YourFNF]

20 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

I might take you up on that at some point - right now I only get to play about 2 hours per week and that's the only time I spend with my best friend, so I can't give that up.  The rest of my free time right now is going into writing stories.

Sightlines, holy moly Sightlines.  I think you're gonna like it.  You especially.

 

I can respect that.

 

Sightlines?

[bbykimmy]

10 minutes ago, YourFNF said:

I can respect that.

 

Sightlines?

Sightlines is a dystopian punk urban fantasy with action and violence and intrigue.

KWOceans and Personalias have read a couple of chapters of it - it's gotten a good reception so far.  But it's VERY VERY different from my usual stuff because I'm co-writing it with my mommy-type.

[YourFNF]

6 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

Sightlines is a dystopian punk urban fantasy with action and violence and intrigue.

KWOceans and Personalias have read a couple of chapters of it - it's gotten a good reception so far.  But it's VERY VERY different from my usual stuff because I'm co-writing it with my mommy-type.

Okay I'm in

[Bluebird67]

On 7/30/2018 at 9:31 PM, bbykimmy said:

 Unfortunately, I can't answer your question - I'm not a straight female, I'm as gay as the day is long!

Well, duh! If anyone reading your stories can’t figure that out... My question was just an idle speculation, although maybe someone else here might chipped in.

[ How does one split a quote up here? Cut & paste loses the quote formatting ]

bbkimmy also said: “it's... very different from my usual stuff because I've got a co-author!  My mommy!”

Yay! Not sure I’ll be as into that genre as this one, but I’m so happy to hear about you getting to share this with each other.

You also commented on writing the kind of story you wanted to read, talking about love, consent and acceptance: I realised that that is something you share with one of the authors I really like on Gromet’s site, Lobo de la Sombra. He’s pretty good at interesting plots and situations and has written bondage stories in a variety of genres; his male protagonists all tend to come from the same mould, but he is big on consent, love and acceptance, and that makes his stories enjoyable.

So I guess that if you have found another genre in which to explore those themes, I’m going to keep enjoying your writing.

[YourFNF]

Also I apparently  have a blizzard account I don't remember creating. It uses an old an email I haven't used in years but a user name that's pretty much something I would have chosen currently. Que the X-Files music.

[bbykimmy]

4 minutes ago, Bluebird67 said:

Well, duh! If anyone reading your stories can’t figure that out... My question was just an idle speculation, although maybe someone else here might chipped in.

[ How does one split a quote up here? Cut & paste loses the quote formatting ]

bbkimmy also said: “it's... very different from my usual stuff because I've got a co-author!  My mommy!”

Yay! Not sure I’ll be as into that genre as this one, but I’m so happy to hear about you getting to share this with each other.

You also commented on writing the kind of story you wanted to read, talking about love, consent and acceptance: I realised that that is something you share with one of the authors I really like on Gromet’s site, Lobo de la Sombra. He’s pretty good at interesting plots and situations and has written bondage stories in a variety of genres; his male protagonists all tend to come from the same mould, but he is big on consent, love and acceptance, and that makes his stories enjoyable.

So I guess that if you have found another genre in which to explore those themes, I’m going to keep enjoying your writing.

You probably just hit the "Quote" button multiple times and edit down the pieces you don't want.

Sightlines IS NOT a story about consent.  It's not a story about love or acceptance or any of the touchy-feely subjects I usually love.

Sightlines IS NOT AN ABDL STORY.  It's an urban fantasy written by an ABDL couple.  It is VERY DIFFERENT from anything I've ever written here.  If people are reading it for sexy diaper ladies, they're going to be disappointed.  It's definitely going to be a "read it for the plot, not the fetish" story.

[Wannatripbaby]

4 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

Sightlines IS NOT AN ABDL STORY.  It's an urban fantasy written by an ABDL couple.  It is VERY DIFFERENT from anything I've ever written here.  If people are reading it for sexy diaper ladies, they're going to be disappointed.  It's definitely going to be a "read it for the plot, not the fetish" story.

I always read your stories for the plot only. 

[ELLIE52]

I'm looking forward to your new story Sightlines.  Different is good.  New avenues of exploration.

As an aside, I have a question.  How do you update the Title Line in the stories?  I want the information for a new author to the site.  Lionsheart.  She has a story that already has 38 chapters and I don't think many people realize she has updated with some new chapters.

 

[Wannatripbaby]

44 minutes ago, ELLIE52 said:

How do you update the Title Line in the stories?  I want the information for a new author to the site.  Lionsheart.  She has a story that already has 38 chapters and I don't think many people realize she has updated with some new chapters.

Edit the first post in the thread. From there it will let you edit the title as well.

[ELLIE52]

9 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Edit the first post in the thread. From there it will let you edit the title as well.

That absolutely makes sense.  No wonder I didn't think of it.  Thanks!

[Wannatripbaby]

7 minutes ago, ELLIE52 said:

That absolutely makes sense.  No wonder I didn't think of it.  Thanks!

It's not exactly intuitive. I can't remember how I discovered it. But I'm just glad I could help.

[bbykimmy]

Chapter Thirty-Six

I hated Milpitas, the whole place stank.  It was the ass end of the Bay and there was nothing worth seeing out there, nowhere worth going.  Well, nothing now that Julian and I were done.  I doubt he'd want to be friends after this, either.  We were meeting in the parking lot of the shopping center right off of 880 on Calaveras and I just wanted it to be over.

It was weird, but I kind of felt like my "vanilla" life, as Vanessa put it, was over - this was a kind of closure.  I'd never look at love quite the same way again, not after what I'd experienced with her, the deep trust that came with the games she played, the world she introduced me to.  I'd done a lot of reading over the past week, any time I had a spare moment, I was reading about dominance and submission, about ageplay and the caregiver and little dynamic.

And it all felt so right.

I had been half tempted to just text Julian and tell him to throw the box in the garbage, that I didn't need any of it... that I had everything I wanted.

But I didn't and we were here now.

I climbed out of Vanessa's car, giving her hand a squeeze before I went to greet Julian.  There was someone in the passenger seat of his car, but I couldn't make out who it was.  I walked forward as he climbed out of the car.

"I'm really sorry," I began.  "I didn't mean- "

"Just... don't," Julian croaked.  It was obvious he had been crying.  I felt terrible.

"Are you okay?  I'm glad you have someone with you... "

"That's my cousin," he said as he moved to the trunk, popping it open.  "She came in case I needed moral support... I just... what did I do wrong, Dani?  I tried to do everything right!"

"I told you, Julian," my heart hurt as I spoke, it hurt to do this to him.  I tried to remember Vanessa's words, that it wasn't malicious, that I wasn't trying to hurt him.  That I was just trying to find my own way.  "It wasn't your fault, you didn't do anything wrong.  You're a really great guy, we had a lot of fun together... I just want something else in my life."

"I wish you'd told me you were gay," he said bitterly as he lifted the box out of the trunk, closing the lid and setting the box on the back of his car.

"I'm not gay," I said, a little defensively.  "I'm bi - gender doesn't really matter to me in a partner, it was never about that."

"You were with a woman before me, you're with a woman now - that sounds like you're gay to me," he was hurting, he was lashing out, but it didn't make it hurt less.

"You're hurting," I said softly, "I'm- "

"Damn right I'm hurting, Dani.  You cheated on me!  You- "

"I have to go," I interrupted him, taking the box and carrying it toward Vanessa's car.  She climbed out to help me with it, and I was halfway back to her car when I heard the voice behind me.

"Vanessa.  Evans,"  I turned to see the woman climbing from the passenger seat of Julian's car - the same one from the restaurant the night Jess had gotten so mad.  "Holy hell you're the girl from the restaurant - you're Dani?  The one who was dating Julian?  I know you don't know me, but you need to get away from that woman, she's poison."

"What?" I asked, dumbfounded.  I heard Vanessa's footfalls coming closer.

"She's a hacker!  She knew everything about you before you started dating, didn't she?  Your favorite restaurants, your coffee order, your last girlfriend's name, and she never seemed to forget anything - your birthday, your favorite color.  It was like she was reading your diary!  Julian!  Remember that app you found on my phone?  The one that was reading my texts and reporting my location?"  She pointed over my shoulder, pointed to Vanessa.  "That's the bitch who installed it!"

My mind reeled.  That did describe Vanessa.  I thought back to our first date, to the dumpling house.  To the coffee shop.  How we just happened to run into each other after the missed connection at the bar.

Vanessa never forgot anything.  And those words struck true.  It did feel like Vanessa was reading my diary.  That was exactly how I had explained it to Jenni, but I had said it like it was a good thing.

"She broke into my accounts- " Lauren continued.

"Lauren," Vanessa cut her off.

"Fuck you Vanessa!  I'm not letting you ruin another woman's life!  Dani, don't fall for her.  Show Julian your phone, if that tracking app is on it, you'll know I'm telling the truth.  Maybe I'm wrong, maybe she changed... but I doubt it.  Vanessa is a cruel, manipulative bitch and I don't want to see her hurt anyone else."

I looked to Vanessa - she was unreadable.  That open, caring woman that I thought I knew so well looked like she was carved out of stone, expressionless.

"Don't listen to her," Vanessa looked me in the eyes, but they weren't the eyes I was used to looking into, gazing into as we made love.  They were cold.  Calculating.

I felt the box fall from my hands, heard it hit the ground.  Julian was by my side, taking my phone from my purse.

"What's your unlock code, Dani?" he prompted, his tears gone.  I felt like I was in a daze.

"Three seven five four," I heard myself say.  "But- "

"That app was a serious piece of work," Julian growled.  "Really evil stuff... "

"I just wanted to know you better," Vanessa said.  It didn't make sense.  "I just wanted to know how to make you happy, I wanted to know if we were right for each other."

"It's right there," Julian was holding up the phone to my face, showing me something, but it didn't make sense.  It was my GPS coordinates, and a status that said the tracking was active... Lauren was telling the truth.  "Dani, she's been spying on you.  She broke into all of Lauren's accounts, her credit card statements, her bank accounts, her Facebook.  She looked at everything, she's good - it was almost impossible for me to find the traces that she had been there."

"I just wanted to love you," Vanessa said weakly.

"She's a sociopath," Lauren's hand was on my shoulder.  "She just wants someone for her sex games, she has no morals - it's why she's so damned good at her job.  She ruins peoples' lives for a living, Dani."

It didn't make sense.  Everything they were saying made sense, but when it was put all together, it didn't make sense.  I took my phone from Julian, staring at the screen.

"Dani, I'm sorry," Vanessa's voice floated across the void to me.

"You're sorry?" Lauren hissed.  "You're sorry?  You break into peoples' lives to find someone to date, you sick bitch!"

"Our whole relationship is built on a lie," my voice sounded a million miles away as the realization stared me in the face.  "You manipulated me.  You showed me what I wanted to see until I fell in love with you."

"I just wanted to give you the things you wanted, I wanted you to be happy... "

My feet were moving before I realized what was happening, and I was running down the street, tears streaming down my face.

I didn't have anywhere to go.  I had no home, nowhere to run.  I had put all my eggs in Vanessa's basket.  I ducked down a back street and ran between some buildings, sliding to the ground with my back against the wall.

Everything Lauren had said was true, Vanessa didn't even try to deny it.  She had just tried to explain it, like she hadn't done anything wrong, like she hadn't pried into my personal life.  Like she hadn't been lying to me from the very first words.  Like it was justified.

My heart was breaking.  I had destroyed Julian for her, I had thrown away part of my identity for her.  I had debased myself and surrendered to her game.

I had loved her.

My heart was breaking and I just sat there and cried.

*     *     *

"Stay the fuck out of my life, Lauren," I growled, picking up Dani's box and tossing it into the back seat of the car.  "You broke her fucking heart."

"I broke her heart?" Lauren echoed.  "You are a psycho, Vanessa.  I'm trying to save her from you."

"I never hurt you," I countered.  "I played a game you didn't like, and I didn't seek retribution when you left."

"You violated me," Lauren roared.  "Do you know how many identity protection services I signed up for to guard against your bullshit?"  I did, actually.  She had hired three - one of them was decent.

"I never harmed you," I objected.  "I never used any of that information against you, I never tried to bring you pain or sadness."

"You can't just break into peoples' accounts, Vanessa!  It's a crime for a reason!"

"And yet politicians hobble encryption at every turn," I sneered.  "I exploit holes in systems that they left.  There are ways to protect yourself, Lauren.  Just do some fucking research.  Safeguard your accounts - then it's harder for evil bogeymen like me."

"You're sick, Vanessa.  Get help."

"You've helped me quite enough," I snapped.  "I need to find her.  I love her."

"You're a sociopath," she sneered.  "I don't think you're even capable of love."

I got in the car and fired up the tracking app - but Dani had disabled it.  She couldn't have gotten far.  I fired up the engine and drove slowly in the direction she had run, watching for her.

I hated Lauren right then, more than I hated anyone before in my life.  She had ruined everything - after that long, delicate dance.  After that prolonged hunt.  After pouring my heart and soul out for Dani.  I had done my research to make sure we were a good match, to make sure I could appeal to her, nothing more.  I wouldn't hurt her - I hadn't hurt Lauren or Kailee or Jess.

My heart hurt.  I reached up and felt a wetness on my face.  I was crying.  I couldn't remember the last time I had cried real tears.  I loved Dani.  She was the one I wanted to be with forever, my Little, my princess.

And now I might lose her for good.  I ached, I felt ill as I drove around, searching for her.  She was headed east, deeper into Milpitas.  She couldn't go west, the 880 was right there and it wasn't safe to go anywhere near there on foot.

I was suddenly afraid that she might hurt herself, a thought that hadn't occurred to me before then.  My mind spiralled out of control, imagining my poor princess wandering into traffic and getting hurt.

I picked up my phone and dialed... but got her voicemail.

"Dani," I began.  "I'm sorry.  But right now I'm worried about you, I'm worried about your safety.  Please, let me drive you back home.  If you want to leave me, fine.  I don't want you to, but I won't stop you.  I just want to know you're safe.  I just want to know you're okay.  I can't stop thinking about the possibility of you getting hurt and it's tearing me apart.  Please Dani, call me back.  Tell me where you are.  I'm scared."

I would have given anything to have her safely back in my arms at that moment.

Anything.

[YourFNF]

17 minutes ago, bbykimmy said:

Chapter Thirty-Six

I would have given anything to have her safely back in my arms at that moment.

Anything.

Damn that was a gut punch.

Still actions have consequence and it looks like Vanessa's learning that the hard way. I'm really conflicted on this what Vanessa did was wrong on so many levels. She seems to legitimately care for Dani but I don't think a relationship built on something like this can last.

It's a shame those two really could have had something. But ultimately Vanessa's need for control destroyed it.

[Wannatripbaby]

Of all the scenarios I envisioned, this was not one of them. I'm not gonna try to predict what happens next. I feel I'm too biased at this point to predict anything. My mind won't let me imagine an outcome where these two don't end up together. That's how invested I am in these characters; these metaphysical constructs built out of a few key strokes have my mind reeling.

[bbykimmy]

34 minutes ago, YourFNF said:

Damn that was a gut punch.

Still actions have consequence and it looks like Vanessa's learning that the hard way. I'm really conflicted on this what Vanessa did was wrong on so many levels. She seems to legitimately care for Dani but I don't think a relationship built on something like this can last.

It's a shame those two really could have had something. But ultimately Vanessa's need for control destroyed it.

Trust is important.  Trust is important in vanilla relationships, it's especially important in power exchange relationships.  Vanessa made some bad choices.

6 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Of all the scenarios I envisioned, this was not one of them. I'm not gonna try to predict what happens next. I feel I'm too biased at this point to predict anything. My mind won't let me imagine an outcome where these two don't end up together. That's how invested I am in these characters; these metaphysical constructs built out of a few key strokes have my mind reeling.

Thank you for allowing yourself to be emotionally invested in these characters.  I know it hurts because their journey has been so intense.  It means a lot to me that you let them into your heart <3

[ELLIE52]

I'm not gonna comment on Vanessa or Dani or their relationship or lack of.  I had expected the hacking to come into play, somehow through Julian but not Julian.  It never occurred to me that Lauren was who she is.  Great Chapter.  Was it a gut punch or sucker punch?