Mind Your Own Business (Ch.2 Update)

[Prissy]

Greetings Readers,

This is my first story here on this website. I enjoy writing but am by no means an expert at it so I will do my best to post stories that I have proofread several times. Even so I am Disabled and my Vision is not the best anymore so mistakes may still get through. All I ask is for your patience and for polite but constructive criticism.  This will be an ongoing story and I will do my best to post New Chapters as often as I can. Hopefully at least one new Chapter a week. If I get a good response on this story I may feel encouraged to post more stories in the future.

Please Enjoy and Thank you for Reading

 

Mind your Own Business

Chapter - One {The New Neighbor}

 

His boots crunched through the  dense snow. It's pure white color became a blind blur as he trudged onward. The day's blizzard, which hard started out as light snow fall, had really picked up with forceful winds. As much as he wanted to find shelter and wait out the storm he knew that he must press onward. For if he didn't then it would surely mean the death of the village elder's daughter. His mind was focused solely on the effort needed to press onward and everything else around him was drowned out by his thoughts. The blinding sun with its blinding reflection on the snow did not hinder his efforts any. Lucky for him that he was nearing a cave entrance embed in the side of the mountain. His thoughts were shaken from him as the screams of a woman in distress was heard. He quickly ran towards the cave entrance. The inside of the cave was cold and damp. More screams came as he rushed down the winding tunnels of the cave. He soon came to an open chamber, which was lit by a single bonfire. The bright glow created hideous shadows of what he saw. In the room was the missing daughter of the village elder, but she was surrounded by five very large Goblins.

"Stand away from the woman you devilish creatures! "

He drew the sword from its sheath and prepared for battle. The Goblins hissed at him as they lunged at him with weapons drawn. However they were no match for his might, and one by one each goblin met its bloody end at the hands of his mighty sword. With one final mighty swing the final goblin crumpled to the cave floor in a bloody heap. The woman stood in shock at what she had just witness. This muscle bound stranger had saved her live and without even breaking a sweat. "Do not be afraid Miss, I have come to rescue you" He calmly stated to her. Her clothes had been torn by the goblins, which left her mostly naked. She began to shiver from the cold. He approached her and wrapped his massive arms around her while pulling her inward to give her warmth. "

"What is your name stranger"

"My name Korgoth the Avenger." 

"Well Korgoth I believe I owe you a reward for saving my life."

"There is no reward needed Miss"

"Oh but I insist." 

She slowly began to pull off what was left of her clothes leaving her fully naked. At the same time He began to remove his fur loincloth. They both embraced in passionate kissing and fondling as he slowly lowered her to the floor.

"Take me!"

"With pleasure." 

He began to lower himself onto the woman. There was suddenly a strange beeping like sound that began to echo throughout the cave. The sound got louder and louder with every passing second.

 "Danny...Danny...Danny!!!"

Danny Woke up with a start in his bed with a start. He shook his head from side to side investigating his surroundings. The sound of his alarm clock could be heard echoing in the room. His Mom was standing in his open doorway.

"Danny wake up will you, you are going to be late for school."

She was not dressed for work yet so that was a sign he was not that late.

"I am up, I am up, Will you just relax Mom."

"Don't take that tone with me Mister, Last time you missed the bus and I had to drive you to school. I do not have time for that today." 

His Mother walked away from his bedroom and proceeded down the hall. Danny Shook his head again before throwing the covers off of him and stepping onto the carpeted floor with his bare feet. "Why did she have to go and ruin  a good dream" He said to himself. He reached over to his nightstand and clicked on the lamp. The room lit up like a spark of a match. The warm glow of the light embraced his room hugging into every corner of it. Danny walked over to his dresser and opened the top drawer. This drawer contained his socks and underwear. He grabbed a pair of socks and some underwear before shutting the dresser drawer. The top of his dresser was littered with various figurines and models from different video games and comic books. The tallest one was a full detailed resin statue of his favorite comic book character Korgoth the Avenger. Danny stopped for a second to reminisce about the dream he had just had and how intense it was. He was shaken from his daydream by his Mom's voice as she yelled at him to hurry up and get dressed. He closed his bedroom door and set about getting dressed. Danny couldn't find clean pair of pants so he just put on the ones he wore the other day which had been casually tossed in the corner the day before. After that he opened his closet and grabbed a shirt to wear. He had selected his favorite Batman shirt. He then made quick work of tying his shoes, when there was a knock at his bedroom door before it opened.

"Good you are dressed, I did not want to have to call you again."

"Mom!!!, What are you doing in here what if I had been naked or something?"

"I knocked Danny, and besides it is nothing that I haven't seen before."

His Mother walked away and heading downstairs. Danny just shrugged it off and headed down stairs.

 When he got down stairs he passed the living room. The TV was on and it was playing cartoons. A clear sign that his little sister was up already and probably was in the kitchen. Sure enough when Danny walked into the kitchen his little sister Aimee was sitting at the kitchen table trying to make herself a bowl of cereal. Her bowel of Apple Jacks was partly overfilled with Apple Jacks spilling out and scattered on the table. She was already trying to pour the milk into the bowl, however the jug of milk was too heavy for her and she dropped it as she tried to fill her bowl of cereal. Danny rushed into action and grabbed the jug of milk before too much had been spilled. Despite his efforts there was a massive puddle of milk on the kitchen table.

"Aimee!!!, look at what you did you are such a baby. "

"I am not."

"You are too you lil pest, look at the mess you made only babies make messes."

He reached for a towel to dab up the spilled milk. His little sister was crying now and she struggled to respond to him a stutter in her voice. 

"It was an accident, I am a big girl, I am sorry."

Danny had another verbal shot to take at his four year old sister but stopped when their Mother entered the Kitchen.

"What on Earth is going on it here?"

Their Mother stood there in the kitchen doorway with her hands on her hips and a stern look at both of her kids.

"It is nothing Mom the baby just made another Mess. "

"I am not!!!"

"Of course you aren't sweetie, why don't you go watch cartoons while Mommy talks to Danny."  

She hugged her daughter as Aimee ran off to the living room. She then turned her attention towards her son while still keeping her hands on her hips again as she stared at him.

"Just where do you get off calling your four year old sister a baby mister?"

"Well just look at the mess she made Mom, it.... "

"Oh Danny just put a sock in it you are 17 yrs old and picking a fight with your little sister like a big bully, She is 4 years old and is doing everything she can to show that she is a big girl and can do things for herself."

His Mother was still staring at him. Danny didn't have anything else to say because he could see how pissed his Mom was. It was best not to piss her off anymore then she already was.

"Now Clean up this mess, get breakfast, and get your butt down to the bus stop."

 After a little bit of time the kitchen table had been cleaned up and both Aimee and Danny were now sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast. Aimee was eating a bowl of cereal that this time her Mother had prepared for her. Danny was eating a couple Pop-Tarts with a glass of Orange Juice. They weren't saying anything to each other anymore. Their Mom was also in the kitchen standing over by the kitchen counter reading the newspaper while drinking her morning coffee. This silence went on for quite a long time before it was finally broken by Aimee who was now pointing out the kitchen window.

"What's that?"

Both Danny and their Mother turned their attention to the window to see what she is pointing at.

"Sweetie that is a Moving truck, it looks like we have new neighbors. " 

 Everyone watched as several moving men loaded boxes and furniture off of a moving truck and carried it into the house. This house just across the street from their house and had been empty for several years now. Unlike their house, this house was only a single story home. However, it had a larger front yard then theirs and a larger backyard then theirs. It also had a basement, which their house did not have.

"it will be nice to have new neighbors on the street. That house has been empty for so long now."

"I bet it is just another old couple, just what this place needs a few more fossils."

"Hush now Danny, finish up your breakfast and get your butt down to the bus stop."

Not wanting any more trouble from his Mom, Danny finished his Pop-Tarts and his Orange Juice. When he was finished he carried the dishes to the kitchen Sink and left them there. Danny was running late so he grabbed his backpack and dashed out the front door. As Danny left the house he could see the Movers still moving stuff into the house. He secretly hoped that whoever was moving into the place had kids his age. While he had plenty of friends at school and his best bud Carl lived just a few blocks down, Danny was pretty lonely. His smart assed comment about old people was not without substance. The street was mostly populated by either the elderly, families with small kids, or single divorced people. The house they lived in was in the middle of the street, so he had to walk past four other houses to get to the end of the street. Danny hoped that the Peterson's did not have their dog out, cause that despite his size that small lil dog was a mean one. While he was walking Danny plugged the earbuds of his Ipod into his ears and cranked up some tunes. He was one house away from the end of the street when he saw a car turning onto the street. The car was a very nice and very expensive sports car. The kind that you see all the celebrities on tv driving. Danny stared in awe and amazement at what he saw. for not only was it a sports car but behind the wheel was a very attractive woman. At least she looked attractive to him but it was hard to make her out fully with the slightly tinted car windows. Danny turned around and watched to see where the car was going and as luck would have it the car pulled up and parked in the driveway of the house where the movers were. After a few minutes of staring he felt a hand grasp his shoulders and pushed him forward slightly.

"What you doing Danny?"

It was his friend Carl, he had must of gotten to the bus stop before him.

"Not much man just got new neighbors I guess."

"Huh, probably no one we would want to hang out with."

"What makes you say that?"

"Just look at the car man, that is the kind of car those stuck up cheerleader bitches at school would be driving."

"So?"

"Hello Earth to Danny, we are nerdy outcasts and no cheerleader has ever wanted anything to do with our kind."

Carl was now tapping on his friends skull lightly with his fist like he was checking to see if anyone was home. Danny swatted his friend's hand away and gave him a playful shove. "

"Yea I know how it is man, that is why it is just me and you against the world."

"Damn straight, now let's get to the bus before it leaves and our Moms tan both of our hides."

They walked across the street and down a few blocks to where the bus stop was. Anyone who saw them walking would think to themselves what a pair. They were polar opposites in appearance. Danny was wearing faded light blue jeans with a Batman Shirt. While Carl wore black jeans with a black heavy metal band shirt and punker style spike wrist bands. Danny had short brown hair. While his friend Carl has a completely shaved head and piercings in his ears. They however shared one thing in common and that was their shear love for video games, Comic Books, Anime, Collectible Card Games, and D&D style Pen and Paper Games. They arrived at the bus stop just in time because no sooner they got there did the bus for school pull up to pick up all the kids at the bus stop.

 

Mind Your Own Business

Chapter - Two {Bad Day at School}

 

The Bus arrived at school on time and without any hiccups. As Danny and Carl got off the bus they made their way through the main gates of the school and into the quad area. Both Boys walked towards Danny's Locker Cage. All while weaving in and out of crowds of people just standing around talking. When they got to Danny's Locker, he spun the locker's dial in a quick motion until it popped open. Taped to the inside of his locker door was a picture of Korgoth the Avenger slaying a dragon.

"Is that the Advertisement for the new issue?"

"Yep it is, saw it in a magazine and cut it out."

"Very nice, I so can't wait til the Death Mountain story arc hits the stands."

Danny sorted though his various text books and swapped out the ones he needed with the ones he didn't need right now from his backpack. The two friends then headed off towards Carl's Locker, which happened to be inside one of the buildings. They weaved their way though several more crowds of people to get to Carl's Locker. This was something that was an everyday event, because Carl's Locker just happened to be in front of his first period class. The same thing that Danny had just done with swapping out text books was repeated by Carl with his own text books. The morning bell began to ring and slowly people started to migrate to their first period classes. The two friends said their goodbyes with a fist bump and the fictional till we meet again saying from the Korgoth the Avenger comics.

Danny's first period class was Mrs. Tumble's class. By far the easiest class he had the entire day simply because Mrs. Tumble was known to spike her own morning coffee with booze. He sat down at his assigned desk and whipped out his homework from over the weekend and walked up to the front desk to turn it in. She of course didn't notice him She never noticed anyone turning in their homework until she asked for it only to find a stack already waiting for her on her desk. Mrs. Tumble must have been using a stronger booze this morning because she was really out of it and really slurring her words. As predicted the class was a breeze so most of the class time Danny was drawing in his notebook. No sooner had he finished his latest drawing did the bell ring for the period change.

Despite being the first day of the week and the first day of the month school was a breeze for Danny today, Five class periods already in the bag and very little homework from any of them. It was now lunch time and it just happened to be Pizza special day as well. This day was really turning up in Danny's favor. After getting his lunch from the lunch line, he went and sat down in his normal spot. A Small circular table in the far end of the quad away from everyone else. When he got there Carl was already there and so were two of his other buds Big John and Eddie. They all greeted him with a sup dude. While all four friends sat there and ate their lunch, they all talked about their weekends. Big John had been at a wrestling match over the weekend for the school. Eddie had gone to see the newest Superman movie. Carl had just stayed at home playing World of Warcraft all night. When they were all finished with their Lunches they all got out their Magic the Gathering decks and began dueling each other. The school bell to end lunch eventually rang. This really sucked because they were really getting into a good groove. They all said their goodbyes to each other and headed off to their next class.

Danny's Sixth Period class was Mr. Bowman's Class. He loved this year's class line up. Not only did he get to relax at lunch with his buds but the class after that was one of his favorites. Mr. Bowman was the school's Art Teacher and regularly had creative drawing assignments for the students to do. The man was also a huge Korgoth the Avenger fan as well, so that was a plus for Danny.  During the course of the class Danny worked hard on this week's art assignment. It was coming along very nicely. The assignment was to drawing any animal you would like to be if you had the chance. It could be a real animal or a fictional animal. Danny of course took fictional as usual and was drawing a very elaborate picture of Morzat the Black Dragon from the Korgoth the Avenger comics. His work was almost finished when the period bell rang.

His final class of the day was the dreaded Mr. Palmer's Class. The man was known for springing on surprise projects that had major roles in your overall grade as well as surprise tests. He was insanely critical of all of his students. No sooner had eveyone gathered into their seats did Mr. Palmer start in on everyone. Berating everyone for being a bunch of lazy students and putting in the bare minimum work. This was of course that nothing that the students had not heard before on many of an occasion. Danny started to tune out as usual like he did every day for this class. That was until Mr. Palmer dropped the biggest bombshell yet.

"So you all think you can scrape by my class by doing the bare minimum possible huh, Well not this time no siree bob."

He went on to explain that he as handing out a pop quiz right now and it was on material that had not even been covered in class. He went on to say anyone who failed the quiz would have to do a big class project and presentation on the entire section of the text book to the entire class in one weeks time. This was a total and utter shock to everyone in the class room. Mr. Palmer had never acted this way before. Sure he had always been a bit of a blow hard on how all the students in his class slack off but never to this extreme. Danny was totally taken off guard by this announcement because he was one of the students in the class who were barely riding a C minus in this class. Failing a pop quiz would bring him down to a D Plus for sure, which meant that his whole grade and the risk of summer school would all ride on a massive project with an extremely tight timeframe.

One by one the test papers were handed out to each student. Noticeably several students hands were shaking as they grasped their pencils. The questions on the test were on a subject that Danny was completely clueless about.

"Shit"

He basically guessed on all the questions. When everyone had finished their tests Mr. Palmer dropped another surprise that each person would pass their test to the person to the right of them and that person would grade their test while he read out the answers. Just Danny's luck the person next to him was Jennifer Banks. One of the schools most stuck up cheerleaders and someone who for some reason had a personal grudge against Danny. Mr. Palmer read of the answers to the test one at a time and surprisingly each answer he read out was pretty much what he had written on his test. Danny let out a sigh of relief, however that was quickly taken back when he realized that Mr. Palmer doesn't go over the tests when they are handed up to him. Whatever the grade that is marked on there was the grade you were getting. It was a severely flawed system and if someone wanted to they could really screw over someone. This is what he had just realized because Jennifer Banks was grading his paper and for some reason she hated his guts. Danny glanced over briefly and to his horror she was marking every single answer as incorrect. He was surely screwed now. When the answers were finally all given out the tests were passed back to their correct owners so they could see how well they did on the test. Jennifer smirked at Danny as she handed back his test and sure enough all the answers were marked as wrong and the test was marked with a large F in red pen.

"Alright everyone pass your tests forward and let's see who will be doing the project."

 Out of everyone in the class a total of 9 people failed the quiz.

"So the nine names I just read off will have one week to complete a project on the entire section of the textbook and be prepared to present it to the class in exactly one week."

There was a clear sense of enjoyment in his voice. You could almost hear a slight chuckle in his voice. Danny thought about talking to Mr. Palmer about his test score but he knew it would do no good and that his concerns would just be shrugged with an simple cold statement about how that is the grade on your paper so that must be the grade you deserve. As Danny walked out of class he knew he was totally screwed and if his Mom found out what happened and why that he would be double screwed.

"What's up bud, you look so glum?"

Carl had rushed up to him on his way back to his locker.

"Mr. Palmer just gave us all a surprise test and I bombed it"

"So you bombed a test you still have plenty of time to make up the grade right bud?"

"Depends on if I can manage to do a good job on the project I just got assigned."

"What kind of Project?"

Danny explained to his friend what the project was and why he got assigned the project.

"That totally sucks man, that Jennifer is a real bitch."

Carl wrapping his arm around Danny's Shoulder and they both began to walk down the hall.

"But don't you worry about the project you got my help all you gotta do is ask man."

"Thanks Carl that really means alot."

"No problem that's what best buds are for man."

The two friends headed towards the buses and boarded the one headed back to where they lived.

[mgray]

This story is sounding really great hope to hear what happens to Danny in the next chapter 

[Wannatripbaby]

The beginning had me all like, "seriously?" And then when it was revealed to be a dream it made me laugh.

This story has potential. You've established the characters fairly well and the writing is pretty good. There were a few minor typos, but I've read much worse. Don't loose too much sleep over it.

I can't wait to actually get into the meat of this story. How will it relate to ABDL? Will the neighbors have a daughter who's a DL? Will they kidnap Danny and lock him in their basement Nursery? Tune in next week to find out.

Same Bat-time.

Same Bat-channel.

[Pierry Louys]

Okay I am hooked I realy like the beginning, but I confuse you say he 17 old but the manner he speaks and acts I just like a 13 or 14 old ! Realy want to see where this is going 

 

[ppbenn]

1 hour ago, Wannatripbaby said:

The beginning had me all like, "seriously?" And then when it was revealed to be a dream it made me laugh.

This story has potential. You've established the characters fairly well and the writing is pretty good. There were a few minor typos, but I've read much worse. Don't loose too much sleep over it.

I can't wait to actually get into the meat of this story. How will it relate to ABDL? Will the neighbors have a daughter who's a DL? Will they kidnap Danny and lock him in their basement Nursery? Tune in next week to find out.

Same Bat-time.

Same Bat-channel.

I will concur with the sentiments by @Wannatripbaby. 

The writing was very good,  and the premise seems promising.  If I could offer one bit of constructive criticism though,  it would be to separate the dialogue from the paragraphs. 

All in all,  it seems to be the start of a good story,  I hope to read more soon. 

[Prissy]

4 hours ago, ppbenn said:

The writing was very good,  and the premise seems promising.  If I could offer one bit of constructive criticism though,  it would be to separate the dialogue from the paragraphs. 

All in all,  it seems to be the start of a good story,  I hope to read more soon. 

Do you mean something like this?

Person A: It is running late if we want to make the movie on time we should take the bus.

Person B: Take the bus, are you crazy? We will be even more late then we are now, we should just take a cab.

[Wannatripbaby]

15 minutes ago, Prissy said:

Do you mean something like this?

Person A: It is running late if we want to make the movie on time we should take the bus.

Person B: Take the bus, are you crazy? We will be even more late then we are now, we should just take a cab.

Yes. Exactly like that. You've got it now.

[Prissy]

I made an edit to the first chapter with that change in mind. I hope that makes things better. All chapters from now on will be continued with the same style as the newly edited first chapter. 

[Wannatripbaby]

Oh! I I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to add a bold heading in front of dialogue. That is not a good writing choice. It completely breaks immersion. It should be fairly obvious who's speaking by context clues around the dialogue. Just look in an actual book and see how the author does their dialogue.

Again, I'm very sorry for misleading you.

[Prissy]

It is alright, so just remove the bold heading then?

[Wannatripbaby]

That should do it. And make sure there are quotation marks " around dialogue.

[Prissy]

I have removed all the bold headings and added proper quotation marks for each dialogue. That should look better now.

[Wannatripbaby]

Perfect! And since you went through all that trouble because of me I'm going to like this chapter and follow your story & profile. If there's ever anything I can do for you please don't hesitate to ask. Us storytellers gotta stick together.

[Prissy]

Thanks, I will be sure to ask you if I ever need anything.

So when I add a new Chapter do I j edit my story and plop it below the chapter that is already up?

[Wannatripbaby]

Yup. Just like adding a comment.

And it's also a good to edit the title to say what the latest chapter is. You'll see a lot of other stories do that.

[ppbenn]

On 2/21/2018 at 5:21 PM, Prissy said:

Do you mean something like this?

Person A: It is running late if we want to make the movie on time we should take the bus.

Person B: Take the bus, are you crazy? We will be even more late then we are now, we should just take a cab.

Precisely. For me it breaks up the paragraph,  and you don't necessarily have to distinguish who is saying what; unless you want to. It could be just as simple as;

"What do you mean I am going to be put back in diapers? " Jack asked. 

Jill just smiled and said,  "You're going back into diapers because I want you to,  and after I'm done having my with you,  you'll probably need them anyways."

Or something similar; however it is your story and I am just thankful that you're sharing it here. 

[Wannatripbaby]

Okay, if that Mr. Palmer guy doesn't get the can, like, next chapter I'm gonna be pissed! You can't do something like that as a teacher! That would be like handing out a test and, on a whim, deciding everybody fails for no reason! All that Danny would have to do is speak to the principal and he'd be outta there! Unless the principal is also insane. Which would be too much of a stretch for me.

Also remember what I said about adding new chapters? Add them like comments. Don't just edit the pre-existing post because people like to comment on each chapter individually. Don't bother changing it now, just keep that in mind fir next time.

[Prissy]

1 hour ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Okay, if that Mr. Palmer guy doesn't get the can, like, next chapter I'm gonna be pissed! You can't do something like that as a teacher! That would be like handing out a test and, on a whim, deciding everybody fails for no reason! All that Danny would have to do is speak to the principal and he'd be outta there! Unless the principal is also insane. Which would be too much of a stretch for me.

Also remember what I said about adding new chapters? Add them like comments. Don't just edit the pre-existing post because people like to comment on each chapter individually. Don't bother changing it now, just keep that in mind fir next time.

I had a few unethical teachers when I went to highschool. Had one who gave you a grade simply on if he liked you or not. if he liked you then you got an A or a B if he tolerated you then you got a C if he didnt like you then you got a D or an F. Also had several teachers who didn't even grade their own papers they students do the grading for them. With the school being overcrowded and the classrooms being over packed it seemed like none of the teachers cared anymore.

I will do that next chapter I had msunderstood and thought to just edit the original post and slide in the next chapter below it. I will remember that for the next chapter. 

[kerry]

Unethical teachers are one thing. Teachers who dislike you for no reason and take it out on your grades are another thing. As a teacher, I have to admit that these things happen though they are and should be rare (just like the drunk first period teacher). However, in this case Danny has evidence that he did not fail the test. It would never be a matter of "you get the grade on the test whether it is right or not." If anything, Jennifer should be the one doing the project for screwing him over so intentionally. (Her animosity would undoubtedly increase and that could be useful narratively.) I'm just saying that the total lack of reality in the last period class pulled me away from the story, which had been interesting until that point. BTW: I agree with the comment that these kids sound much younger than 17.

[Prissy]

1 hour ago, kerry said:

Unethical teachers are one thing. Teachers who dislike you for no reason and take it out on your grades are another thing. As a teacher, I have to admit that these things happen though they are and should be rare (just like the drunk first period teacher). However, in this case Danny has evidence that he did not fail the test. It would never be a matter of "you get the grade on the test whether it is right or not." If anything, Jennifer should be the one doing the project for screwing him over so intentionally. (Her animosity would undoubtedly increase and that could be useful narratively.) I'm just saying that the total lack of reality in the last period class pulled me away from the story, which had been interesting until that point. BTW: I agree with the comment that these kids sound much younger than 17.

I may see if I can correct that in some way in future chapters. I had needed a plot point in him having to do a big project that without me spoiling things is going to lead him into  getting into some trouble, and that was just what popped into my mind so I ran with it.  If you have a suggestion on what might be a bit more believable fix I am open to such a suggestion.

As for the kids sounding much younger then 17, I am doing my best to match how the kids were when I went tho highschool and that was back in the early 2000's. If it is off putting I do apologize I am just trying to pull from my own personal experiences. 

[Wannatripbaby]

44 minutes ago, Prissy said:

If you have a suggestion on what might be a bit more believable fix I am open to such a suggestion.

Well, the first thing that comes to mind is for a new principal or whatever to come in (I was homeschooled, so I may not be well-versed in the terminology) and see how screwed up the school is & start setting things right. Firing both Mr. Palmer & that Drunk teacher lady. He would probably also make other changes that Danny doesn't like. But hey, sacrifices must be made.

Also if his mom gets angry at him for failing the test despite the fact it's obviously not his fault I'm definitely done with this story. She should be furious at the SCHOOL not at Danny!

[Prissy]

5 minutes ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Well, the first thing that comes to mind is for a new principal or whatever to come in (I was homeschooled, so I may not be well-versed in the terminology) and see how screwed up the school is & start setting things right. Firing both Mr. Palmer & that Drunk teacher lady. He would probably also make other changes that Danny doesn't like. But hey, sacrifices must be made.

Also if his mom gets angry at him for failing the test despite the fact it's obviously not his fault I'm definitely done with this story. She should be furious at the SCHOOL not at Danny!

Actually was thinking of doing a chapter about when he goes back to school he will get a new teacher for the Mr. Palmer class because he is fired after someone finally reported his behavior or something like that. Work in something about the new teacher liking the idea of this big project and making everyone do it and maybe even work in a partner project concept, but in effect nullifying anything Mr. Palmer did. Something like that I think I can work in easy and not mess up the whole plot line I had in mind. 

[Wannatripbaby]

That would work.

And I'm sorry if it feels like I'm trying to control your story. That was never my intention. Sometimes my way of "helping" is a bit too obtrusive. Let me know if I start to get on your nerves.

[Prissy]

2 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

I'm sorry if it feels like I'm trying to control your story. That was never my intention. Sometimes my way of "helping" is a bit too obtrusive. Let me know if I start to get on your nerves.

It is alright it really is. I am not one of those writers who is like you don't like the story too bad I am not changing it or I get all butt hurt when someone doesn't like something. As long as it is constructive suggestions/criticism I am open to making changes.

Also about what you said about his mom getting angry with him for failing a test that wasn't fault, do not worry that was never going to be a plot point.

[CDfm]

That was a good start. Definitely want to read more of it.