Can't Do This.........

[Diaperlover247]

I know i've made a topic about this before but I can't do this Diaper fetish thing no more I'm wanting to become normal and stuff and this Diaper fetish thing is driving me crazy it's all I think about and I don't want to think about it no more and wear them I know there is nothing wrong with them but I just don't want to participate in this anymore so how can I get rid of this and not have the desire to do this anymore ? Is there any hypnotizing tapes online ? Or is there any other ways because I really want to give this up but everytime I try to I go back please respond and hopefully help me out.

[dlsmd]

id like to help but the only thing i know of is a varry strict regament of forcing them away but u can still come crashing back because its actualy engraned in to who u r sorry

[thekid1]

it sounds like you have entered the binge purge cycle of being a Dl. all tho it is possible to stop being a DL most that have try ed didn't succeed tho. being a DL is usually wired in to you brain since childhood which makes it hard to stop. at this stage you have two choices 1 you can accept it as being part of you or 2 is to try really hard to stop and talk to a therapist i hope you finish this page of life good luck

[It's A Boy!]

I know i've made a topic about this before but I can't do this Diaper fetish thing no more I'm wanting to become normal and stuff and this Diaper fetish thing is driving me crazy it's all I think about and I don't want to think about it no more and wear them I know there is nothing wrong with them but I just don't want to participate in this anymore so how can I get rid of this and not have the desire to do this anymore ? Is there any hypnotizing tapes online ? Or is there any other ways because I really want to give this up but everytime I try to I go back please respond and hopefully help me out.

There isn't an easy answer to that. So far as I am aware, there are no hypnotic tapes, no works every time self help books, no pills you can take, and no easy answers. What you're describing sounds, from my personal experinece and from what I've read on support groups like this, like a pretty typical binge/purge cycle. You have a compulsion to wear diapers, you wear them (probably intensely) for a period of time, and then you throw out everything. You swear you're going to quit, and everything is fine for a week, month, or maybe longer, and then you have the compulsion to wear again, and you go out and do the same thing over again. There is an online group (Christian based, I believe) that thinks AB/DLs are doing something wrong and has a support group based around quitting. However, as other people on this forum and others have suggested, that's not a particularly healthy thing to do, to destroy a part of yourself (the AB/DL part) that has become so intrigral to your personality at this point. But that is an option.

It also sounds that you're depressed right now, and feeling guilty for indulging in this behavior. Even if you think nothing is wrong with AB/DLs, you still may think there is something wrong with you. I've been working on self-acceptance and striking a balance in my life since I was 13, so a bit less than half my life, and to be honest, I still occassionally go though binge/purge cycles, I still sometimes get depressed, and I still sometimes wish that I could quit forever. Unfortunately, it's just not that easy. I am sure that others on this board have struggled with this issues far longer, and perhaps some of them have found some sort of answer, but obviously many have not. I think your sentiment, that you want to quit, that you can't take this any more, is something that the majority of the people in this community feel at least some of the time. I've come to think of that as a cry of frustration; it's what we say when we don't understand ourselves and feel isolated. Unfortunately, as other people have written before me, the whole binge/purge cycle is still an expression of a toddler-ish mindset, that it's all or nothing, that you have to choose between two extremes of "diapers" or "not diapers". In spite of sometimes thinking in these terms, I make a big effort not to do so, because I've found it simply isn't helpful. Constantly binging and purging does nothing for my self-esteem, for my self-acceptance, or my self-understanding, and therefore, I try to incorperate the AB/DL part of me into my life, and avoid any all-or-nothing thinking. So here's what I'd suggest:

1) Try to strike some sort of balance. Don't go and wear diapers for two days straight and then throw them all out. Incorperate them into your life on a regular basis, when you start to feel the urge coming on.

2) If you must purge, make the economic impact as small as possible. Don't through away everything. Pack some stuff up and put it in the closet. Throw away something that represents your desire for diapers, such as a diaper, or a package of diapers, or something. As time goes on, you'll find that your need to throw out something valuable is less, and at least it won't cost your a fortune ever time you start to wear again.

3) Work hard on self-acceptance and self-understanding. I say this with the utmost respect. I know that since I was 18 (hey, since I was 13, or maybe even before) I have grown enormously personally. It is hard. It is painful. Ask yourself why you have these desire, and really think about it. Analize your attitudes toward AB/DL-ness, and toward yourself. Work as hard as you can to be ok with yourself.

4) Understand that you may not be able to quit, even if you try hard, and don't beat yourself up for failing. Most of us didn't choose to be this way, most of us have tried to quit, and most of us have failed multiple multiple times.

5) Don't think of things in an either/or context. You can have normal relationships and diapers, you can have a normal life and diapers. Trust me, it's sometimes difficult. Many of us, myself included have huge problems with intimacy because (I think) even if we accept ourselves, we don't believe others will accept us. I'm still trying to figure that mess out.

6) Work through your depression in positive ways. Don't engage in self-destructive behaviors. I don't know what the rate of substance abuse is in this community, but really, it's not the answer. Drinking/drugging yourself into a stupor/happiness is not a long term solutions, and it's not a positive short term solution.

7) Continue to reach out to other people like you. I don't participate much here, but I do read basically everything. It really helps me feel better about myself. I don't mean that other people have it worse than me, I mean that I realize I am not alone and get to see how other people work through similar life-issues.

8) Don't let this take over your life. You're in control. Make sure you feel like you're in control. It also helps.

9) Don't worry too much about anything. Life's too short. Do what you like to do, and do it on your terms, as long as you don't hurt anyone else doing it. So much of life is figuring out what you want to do and just doing it, and not worrying about what other people think. It's tough sometimes, but it's the most personally rewarding thing you can do. I'm still working on that too.

If you still want to quit, go ahead and give it a shot. There is an article about it (I think) on Bittergrey's (http://understanding.infantilism.org/) website. Actually, I think alot of the stuff on his site is pretty insightful, and is at least worth a once-over. All in all, it's your decision. You should do what's best for yourself. For me, I've found that fighting this takes more energy than I have to give it and produces basically zero gain. For me, it's an easy cost-benifit analysis: wear diapers, be happy, find balance and self-understanding vs. don't wear diapers, go through periods of happiness and periods of depression, relapse any way, have enormous guilt, and lack self-understanding. Plus, then I'd have some close calls getting to the bathroom on time. I mean, nope...

Anyway, sorry this is so long, but that's just my take on it. Others may have totally different points of view that may work just as well or better for them. Best of luck. And if you really do find something that works, share your story with the community. There are plenty of other people in your shoes.

[restlessfox]

it's possible to stop thinking about them as much, but getting yourself to stop thinking about them all together isn't very likely at all.

what it looks like you'll have to do is replace the interest with something else, best case scenario is to transfer your love of diapers into a deeper love of your girlfriend. she'll wonder where all the passion and new energy is coming from, and you'll be ever closer to that normal life you seek.

If the reason you started wearing them again is some event like bed wetting, it will be easier to replace those thoughts of them because the interest was learned late in your psychological development.

but if you have always been gravitated towards diapers, throughout your childhood and clear through to adulthood. then it's like dlsmd said, they're a part of you. they always have been and likely always will be. they are engrained into your subconsious mind, and your long term memory.

personally i think denying any part of yourself is dangerous. if you can't accept who you are, how can you accept others for being themselves? if you don't like who you are then you could start to think other people don't like who you are. if you start to act the way you think people want you to act then you'll be living a lie and never truly be happy.

my advice, replace about an hour of tv time with some deep thought about who you are, where you're going, and how everything should fit together(this includes diapers). the goal is to find a better balance between your diaper interest and your everyday interests.

it sounds to me like you're ignoring your other interests in favor of this one, so if you embrace who you truly are and put equal attention into your other hobbies and interests you'll naturally think about diapers less and have much more rewarding days.

the less you deny about yourself the more those other aspects of your personality will grow. don't let the fact that you're embracing one aspect of yourself make you deny any other part.

find the balance, too much of anything is never a good thing.

[superdiaperbaby]

Good advice!

I think something that has helped me become more of a moderate AB is to understand what is happening in this "binge/purge" cycle thing. When you binge you feel great and happy about wearing diapers. When you purge you feel like you never want to wear them ever again and you feel sad. The key for me was to force myself to binge when I wanted to purge. That is when you can make some strides in acceptance. When your depressed about wearing them and want to purge if you force yourself to put on diaper it won't be as powerful. You'll get a better understanding and diapers will lose a little of their power. In my life diapers have gone from an obsession to a hobby. I believe it was because when I went 24/7 I had to wear diapers even when I didn't want to. When I finished going 24/7 I then was able to quit thinking about diapers as much and quit wearing as much. I no longer binge and I no longer purge. That is probably as much as you can hope for.

Now if you truly hate yourself for this you can change, IMO I believe it is possible. But only with true conviction and means. The conviction means you have to change your mind to hate diapers in all forms and fashions. You have to get drugs that are used on pedos to stop their sexual drives. Then you have to join sexual addiction groups and probably take some OCD medications. Basically you have to drug yourself to where you are a different person and take therapy to remove all psychological dependencies. I remember a website a long time ago that offered a 6 month hospital visit for sexual addictions. This is all the complete quitting package. The thing is even though we feel bad when we purge we just don't feel bad enough to really go through 6 months of hospital therapy with drugs and behavioral therapy. And in the end it still may not work, The struggle is really not in deciding when to wear diapers, the struggle is really in acceptance. So the true question should be "how do I accept the fact that I am and will always be a diaper wearer, even though I don't want to be one."

Super Diaper Baby

[rusty pins]

I know i've made a topic about this before but I can't do this Diaper fetish thing no more I'm wanting to become normal and stuff and this Diaper fetish thing is driving me crazy it's all I think about and I don't want to think about it no more and wear them I know there is nothing wrong with them but I just don't want to participate in this anymore so how can I get rid of this and not have the desire to do this anymore ? Is there any hypnotizing tapes online ? Or is there any other ways because I really want to give this up but everytime I try to I go back please respond and hopefully help me out.

Do a google search for overcoming infantilism, there are some web sites that deal with helping people who are into infantalism quit. Just like AA or things like that. I'm sure they could help.

[Diaperlover247]

Thanks guys for all the help and i'm still wanting to quit and I'll ltake your alls advice

[diapercj]

One more thing to add, and thats stages of this particular parephelia;

1)Knowledge of your fetish

2)Discovering others like you

3)Wearing a lot

4)Lack of understanding and revulsion at yourself but a love for these objects

5)Surrendering and wanting to be diapered all the time

6)Contemplating on how to become incontinant to achieve the above mentioned goal

7)Acceptance of yourself, and a balance between your real life and your fantasy world

Advice; Dont throw anything away, just leave them as they be and if you feel like wearing, do it, as long as theyre well hidden, and you are in a comfortable environment safe from discovery.

Im at stage 7 and it comes and goes in spurts, I just ride it like a lazy river with rapids in places.

[Morv]

I'd recommend seeing a therapist or counsellor or something if possible. The better qualifications, the better. There are people out there trained in how the brain functions, and many of those who have studied ways to change our behavior based on that wonderful knowledge. Doctor are many. Lots of training.

If any can find what plagues your brain, they should be able to.

[Diaperlover247]

Thanks and well I've tried to go without Diapers for about a day and couldn't succeed :/ and I'm deff not wanting to see a therapist I'd feel uncomfortable discussing that with someone else so I guess I can just learn to accept my fetish.....

[Morv]

Hey, therapists are paid to listen to all sorts of weird shit. If you want help, go to a professional. With mental health, you get what you pay for, and what you are willing to take risks for.

It's not like a therapist is your friend. They are not an enemy either. They are an educated arbitrator. Their job is to help you broker a deal with yourself to get you working and feeling the way you want to. Therapy is not about the therapist, it is about the client. There's no need to be embarrassed or ashamed.

Think about it. You have a problem in a field dealing what your mental health. It becomes a problem when it begins interfering with your everyday life, and right now it has you pretty upset. That is interfering. So, go to a professional.

"I'm embarrassed," is a lame excuse not to seek help at a point when you need it. If you name it as a problem, most likely you aren't proud of it.

You think therapists see people who are perfectly normal, and everything in their life is hunkey-dorey? Yeah, right. They see people every day that have problems that therapists help them work to resolve. Not going because you are embarrassed is like not going to get a physical exam on a regular basis because you're embarrassed.

[DollyDiaper]

One more thing to add, and thats stages of this particular parephelia;

.......7) Acceptance of yourself, and a balance between your real life and your fantasy world

Advice; Dont throw anything away, just leave them as they be and if you feel like wearing, do it, as long as theyre well hidden, and you are in a comfortable environment safe from discovery.

Im at stage 7 and it comes and goes in spurts, just ride i It like a lazy river with rapids in places.

I'm liking that expression very much diapercj! It sounds to me like you've reached a healthy level of acceptance and overall balance. You make level 7 sound like a good place to be/ to aim for.

And I wish you well Diaperlover, whichever route you choose to take.

D lly

[diapercj]

Glad you liked it dolly

[Red Barchetta]

One more thing to add, and thats stages of this particular parephelia;

1)Knowledge of your fetish

2)Discovering others like you

3)Wearing a lot

4)Lack of understanding and revulsion at yourself but a love for these objects

5)Surrendering and wanting to be diapered all the time

6)Contemplating on how to become incontinant to achieve the above mentioned goal

7)Acceptance of yourself, and a balance between your real life and your fantasy world

Advice; Dont throw anything away, just leave them as they be and if you feel like wearing, do it, as long as theyre well hidden, and you are in a comfortable environment safe from discovery.

Im at stage 7 and it comes and goes in spurts, I just ride it like a lazy river with rapids in places.

Humm, well looks like I completely skipped 3,4,5,and 6!

Basically, they are more mute points in my case... How do you define what "Wearing a lot" even is, when you are wearing 24/7/365 either way because of medical reasons that existed your whole life?, or truly have a revulsion of yourself, or either love, hatred, or any feelings at all toward an object that you don't really have any choice but to use (well, either that, or put yourself in a worst situation)?, Number 5 and 6 are totally N/A since want to or not, being diapered all the time IS and most likely WILL BE a reality till the day I die, like it or not. And there is absolutely NO reason to even think about how to become incontinent when you are already there, it's just the way thing are, and have been your entire life.

That leave only 1,2,and 7 and with me they don't apply to diapers specifically, as stated above diapers CAN NOT be removed or there WILL BE a very bad situation!, it more everything else associated with AB.

However, the list looks reasonable some one that is not incontinent.

[DollyDiaper]

......One more thing to add, and thats stages of this particular parephelia;

1)Knowledge of your fetish

Red, I can understand what your saying but I think it's inevitable that every stage diapercj has listed doesn't apply to you. As I see it, from the preface and stage 1 (highlighted above) he wasn't aiming his 1-7 point plan at those, such as you, who are primatily medically dependent on diapers/nappies .

Furthermore, he was posting this in response to Diaperlover's original post which began this thread, and he isn't medically (physically) dependent either.

D lly

[Repaid1]

Just a quick add, The steps mentioned above..may not apply to some..but if you look and think for just a second then you may understand. I am Incontinent, but I also am a AB, I was a AB before I was Incontinent. The point of wearing diapers is not the problem, the fact of why you WANT to is.. that's where the steps mentioned progress.

You are a AB period.. nothing is going to change that, unless you do.. if your incontinent, than so be it, you have to wear. But liking why you wear is totally different. There is help for you guy, but you must want help first regardless of where and from whom.

I'm going to say something I have not done in a long time Morv is one of the most intellegent people I have met in a long time...and one of the most so at his age. I know People, myself included, are older and deemed wiser..it's your choice. But simply we have been there. We know what your going through, but you, possibly can't relate to us, thats fine... Perhaps you should send Morv a PM and you guys can figure it out together.

Sorry Morv..but I think you can handle this better, than either "ole" School, and alot better than 18 year olds in his peer group that don't really have a clue whats ahead, on either way.

I have been where he was, not as young, but understand that maybe you can connect... Love ya man..I hope you find what you really want.

P.S. I was wearing diapers for the first time, before you were even a figment or a smile in your mom's eye, and wore again before you were even born for my AB side. You might want to trust the advice that the 40+ side can relate, if not trust this board..the best people are found here. Morv..Sir your serve. signed... been there done that..Just alittle older.

Best of luck.. Your friend, Timmy

[seppuku]

I'm glad that this is a part of me, I wouldn't have it any other way - sure it's a little odd, but you could do far, far worse than having a diaper fetish. And obviously, if it's a fetish, it's probably something you enjoy! I have, for over a year, due to circumstances beyond my control (roommate) not been able to wear - and sometimes I just can't get the thought of being able to curl up in a thick diaper/onesie, right in the middle of my living room out of my head. Please, try to accept this, it never really goes away. Don't make it hard on yourself.