Missyd's Post

[DailyDi]

I decided to address this publicly so there will be no false-info on why the posts were removed:

First off, I did recieve SEVERAL complaints about the posts, and I do take all complaints seriously. Even when time does not permit me to directly reply, rest assured that myself or others do review all complaints and take action when appropriate. In this case, however, I removed the posts for a different reason than most of the complaints addressed:

This is a community and support board designed to foster an open environment where people can express themselves in ways they can't in the real world. As part of this expression we have many members who list their gender based on how they choose to identify themselves, not based on their anatomical parts. We accept and understand this, which is why we have tried our best to reach out to the sissy, transgender and other communites that reside within our "fetish." We don't "out" these people if they want to be seen only as a woman (and yes, even a few women who want to be seen as males) because it is my belief that everyone should respect a person's chosen identity.

That being said, I, and others, felt that MissyD's posts were designed as an attack on this free expression by not being a chosen identity - instead delibritly misleading people and toying with folks in order to screw with them or prove some point we all know. There is no question that a person can be anyone they choose online, and we can never fully accept an internet identity as true.

I have suspened the MissyD account, though I have not blocked IP's or anything like that, so "Missy" is free to post under a more genuine identity either as a member of the community, or perhaps to better explain his intentions. I don't dispute the validity of his male-as-a-female 'test' as I have addressed above, but some members felt they have been "played" by his experiment, and that's just not cool.

[Repaid1]

I chose not to get involved with this whole "stupid" thing. I don't care one way or the other who is who, but I didn't care for the outright deception. First it was a lie, to say she was a he, then it was a retaliation for something else, then it was reversed to say it was all a joke to prove a point. After all that I still come to the simple conclusion..a liar is a liar for whatever the reason and once labled as such your not worth the words you say.

In this instance it didn't really effect me, but others it did. I would hope if Like DD says you have some ulterior motive for a persona then have the decency to stick to your guns and live it that way, and for goodness sake try not to hurt others with a deceptive attitude when we all try and be friends amongst ourselves in this little community we call Daily Diapers.

Off my soap box..

[Pipsqueak]

Thanks for clarifying this, DD! Because I don't use the chat feature I was led to believe by MissyD's recent forum posts that she/he/whichever was the victim of someone else misrepresenting themself and causing emotional harm. Clearly this is not the case. It's unfortunate when people can't just come here to enjoy the company and support of people with the same interests without spreading chaos in their wake.

[curious]

Well Handled Daily Di!

and yea a liar is a liar.... and theres better ways to prove a point then the way missy did...

But Daily Di, i just wanted to say, WELL DONE!

[AutieAB]

Thanks for clarifying this, DD! Because I don't use the chat feature I was led to believe by MissyD's recent forum posts [...snip]

Fair enough DD. Being someone who doesn't use the chat I never seem to 'get' the occasions when things get a little political. Thanks for the clarification.

[dlsmd]

This is a community and support board designed to foster an open environment where people can express themselves in ways they can't in the real world. As part of this expression we have many members who list their gender based on how they choose to identify themselves, not based on their anatomical parts. We accept and understand this, which is why we have tried our best to reach out to the sissy, transgender and other communites that reside within our "fetish." We don't "out" these people if they want to be seen only as a woman (and yes, even a few women who want to be seen as males) because it is my belief that everyone should respect a person's chosen identity.

tho for me (im sure u can attest) i come here for support with my incon not just fun as well as a way to get past some things

That being said, I, and others, felt that MissyD's posts were designed as an attack on this free expression by not being a chosen identity - instead delibritly misleading people and toying with folks in order to screw with them or prove some point we all know. There is no question that a person can be anyone they choose online, and we can never fully accept an internet identity as true.

varry true

if i upset eney one please for give me i having a realy bad week

[Gennie]

I am probably going to regret doing this, but oh well, here goes.

In fact, I do regret it. So much for trying to help people.

Good bye

Gary

[diapered peter]

well ok i thought not to response this but i will

my oppinion is no matter who it is and even if we love this person, its not nessesery to upset ppl here just because urself is hurt,

di did the right thing, if more would read missys post , more would get angry, ive seen this before and then i wont allowe us users to let this site be a copy of dpf no way.

i have to admit i reportet missys post to di , as i know many did, not because what she wrote, because i felt there would be more answeres to this topic that wouldnt be so nice for other members to read

stay diapered

peter

[DailyDi]

MissyD has been unsuspended - everyone deserve's a second chance.

[missyD]

Thank you DailyDi for your explanation.. I now understand why you did what you did. However, I think it is important to clarify where I am at. First of all, I am female, I do live in Canada, have a good job, and am active in my community. I am a strong believer in social justice. Some will scream NO!...THAT IS NOT TRUE. Of course, the truth is, no one here ( or very few) are in a position to make that claim. I have only met one person from here, and she no longer participates here. If you have not met me, or cammed with me, you have no right to pass any judgement as to who I am. If you chose to think that I am male, you are welcome to do so.

Contrary to how you may have perceived it, DailyDi, I did not write that post as an attack on the free expression of gender, but rather the opposite: as a way to show my disgust at how gender is generally treated on the board and in the room. Although in my post, I claimed to have lied about where I live, my occupation, my age, my marital status, and well, everything about me,,, people were only upset that I had misrepresented my gender. People are very quick to scream foul when they perceive that they have been duped about gender. How about my family, my job, my community? No one was outraged about that.

I just wanted to make people think. I chose a radical way to do it. I knew there were risks, and if some people choose to HATE me because of it, it is their hate. Hate is a very very distructive thing. I hope the chat uses will think about the Missy that they know, and reflect on the perception they had of me BEFORE I made the bogus post on Sunday. I hope that please don't scream "LIAR LIAR, we KNOW you are a guy". They don't know anything! Some of them have spoken to me on yahoo voice. "Maybe it wasn't YOU" Of course it was me.... who else could carry on a plausible conversation!!!

Some. will claim "MISSY IS A TRANSSEXUAL" Again, I ask, how could anyone possibly know if I am transsexual? Have they peeked in my medical records? HMMM I wonder what they found? If I AM transsexual, is it anybody's business? At least in the progressive country I live in, transsexuals are considered to be their chosen sex; if a woman changes her sex to match her new male gender, he is now a male. However saying that the Ontario Human Rights Commission (where i live) refers to transsexuals as "one of the most disenrfranchised groups in the province". I can well belive that, having seen was has transpired. I hear, that someone in the room chose to refer to me as "some dickless guy" Oh my goodness, what a horrible thing for anyone to say. How intolerent can a place be.

I am quite astounded and disapointed at the lack of tolerance I see in the room. Someone will start a rumour, and WHAM, someone will be ostrasized. I have had people screaming at me, yet they never saw my posting on Sunday.. someone told them about it.......

Some say I was angry because a certain person misrepresented thier gender, but that is not the case. Rather, I was deeply hurt because this person fabricated a life, a life that made me feel so incredibly sorry for them, I felt their pain, and they turned out to be someone else. I couldn't care if they are male or female - I do care if they spin me some yarn about what is happening to them.

Some of the chat users will be angry with me, and have decided that I am sorry cigar smoking big bellied guy who lives in the south of England. That is up to them. I would hope however, that they keep their opinions to themself. Even I that was the case, I should be able to enter the room without being verbally attacked - it is incredibly upsetting to the other users.

As of this juncture, I have not decided whether to return to chat. I do miss some of my wonderful friends, but I really don't know how healthy it is to be there. We look for support from each other, not hatered, not judgement. Rumours inuendo and hostility are not ways to support each other.

Oh, one last thing.. I happen to know that one regular visited to chat claims to be female and is a male. I chose not to out her - "she" is a lovely person in chat, is well liked and is always polite and friendly.. Were I to out her, she would be ostrasized, flamed. We would all lose a lovely friend, and she would be hurt. Why does her acting as a woman threaten everyone. Are they planning to have sex with her?????

I do not apologize for making my posting. I did it to prove a point, and prove it I did. However, I do apologize to my friends who thought I was not who I have said I am all along. Plesae friends, know that I am who I am... I am Missy.... ab..... baby girl

I decided to address this publicly so there will be no false-info on why the posts were removed:

First off, I did recieve SEVERAL complaints about the posts, and I do take all complaints seriously. Even when time does not permit me to directly reply, rest assured that myself or others do review all complaints and take action when appropriate. In this case, however, I removed the posts for a different reason than most of the complaints addressed:

This is a community and support board designed to foster an open environment where people can express themselves in ways they can't in the real world. As part of this expression we have many members who list their gender based on how they choose to identify themselves, not based on their anatomical parts. We accept and understand this, which is why we have tried our best to reach out to the sissy, transgender and other communites that reside within our "fetish." We don't "out" these people if they want to be seen only as a woman (and yes, even a few women who want to be seen as males) because it is my belief that everyone should respect a person's chosen identity.

That being said, I, and others, felt that MissyD's posts were designed as an attack on this free expression by not being a chosen identity - instead delibritly misleading people and toying with folks in order to screw with them or prove some point we all know. There is no question that a person can be anyone they choose online, and we can never fully accept an internet identity as true.

I have suspened the MissyD account, though I have not blocked IP's or anything like that, so "Missy" is free to post under a more genuine identity either as a member of the community, or perhaps to better explain his intentions. I don't dispute the validity of his male-as-a-female 'test' as I have addressed above, but some members felt they have been "played" by his experiment, and that's just not cool.

[Daddy-Adam]

Im sorry missy. You know why.

Love n hugs

xx

[missyD]

Well, this is my last word on the topic. Please, let there be no misunderstanding... what I did was not a gentle social experiment. It WAS done in absolute anger. I was very hurt and very very angry. I wanted to show everyone just what I thought about the whole poser thing. I did not expect my friends to believe it though- I thought they knew me and would get my point. I guess my closest friends saw what I was doing right away, but in hindsight, I see now why they were upset. I also understand the feelings of the room; I had no right to make people think they had been duped (although they are duped everyday by posers and don't know it). I offended some people and for that I am very very sorry. I also ended up losing some wonderful friends over this - for that I am devastated, but, for no fault but my own.

Once again though, I will reiterate - be very careful of truly believing the characters that are portrayed in chat. Many are real, but many are just figments of the user's imagination. That is fine; they have a right to live their fantasies. However, they do not have a right to make their fantasies real, in real relationships and at other peoples' expense. Please be careful my friends....very very careful. As I did show with my angry post ( and for those who did read it, you will know it was angry by the nasty tone of the "confession) it is really easy to assume a bogus identity in chat, and in cyberspace in general.

As for me, I will not be coming back to chat. ( i know "yay, the liar is gone"). I will miss some wonderful people, but for me, the hurts outweigh the support in the room. (again, your experience may be very different, and I hope chat helps you wonderfully).

If I do form any friendships online, I will go on cam with them or I will not allow myself to form a strong relationship. For those of you who shared their lives with me in the past, the compassion you got from me was real... please don't wonder about that - I hope to goodness my tirade doesn't take that away from you.

In conclusion, I am deeply sorry that I hurt and offended anyone. My posting was done in anger, and was ill advised. It was not fair to prove a point in this way. I think I did prove a point, but I think that the cost of that point was far, far too high. So, please be careful, and don't let my posting be a complete loss - I suppose if I stop one other person from being hurt by a poser, then I have at least accomplished something.

Good bye my friends (and yes, even you who are angry and have disowned my, I still count as friends - your anger itself is proof that you care. I wish you all well.