DKN117 Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 (edited) ...Well, since everyone else is doing it, I thought I would, too. I'll do my best to make it interesting, and appreciate any helpful tips. Also, I'm sorry about the pun with the story title; it's the only thing I could think of. You'll see what I mean... ---------------------------------------- Edited August 30, 2015 by DKN117 2 Link to comment
DKN117 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 (edited) I'm still waiting to see if anybody else is going to give any feedback/ideas/whatever (what you guys think of Ellie's character and story so far, how some people (Amazons, In-Betweeners, other Littles) in-universe might react to seeing/meeting Ellie, possible scenes or plotlines, if her "have my big obvious scar and missing eye out for all to see in order to help lessen my appeal to Amazons" approach would be realistically effective out in public around In-Betweeners & Amazons or if she's just 'gotten lucky' so far). ...Well, that and I'm also working on a bunch of other things at once - a translation project, two other stories (neither of them meant for this site), and a playthrough of Crash Bandicoot 2 on the PS3 Virtual Console. Edited August 31, 2015 by DKN117 Link to comment
Personalias Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 Poor girl could end up in a special needs daycare. Link to comment
InkuHime Posted August 31, 2015 Share Posted August 31, 2015 How characters from other stories would react? That's meta :) Your Ellie is interesting. She seems to be the only little we have ever run into (at least that I can think of) who is familiar with and ready to use violence, where as the concept seems alien to most other littles, which might very well change how a big would deal with her. As I said, to my way of thinking, Chase would view such a little as someone who obviously needs to be taken care of because they so obviously can't. Chase: You poor thing, were you running with scissors? Didn't anyone ever tell you not do do that? Ellie: I was attacked by a mad dog killer after I shot three of her friends stopping a bank robbery. Chase: You poor thing, they should have never let you play with guns. But Chase is busy and has her own little to deal with, so likely she would just let someone know about the little who had been badly hurt and someone from child services (little services?) should look into that. I think Personalias has it right. With her injuries and her history of violence she obviously needs to go to a daycare that can keep her safe and keep her from hurting others. Link to comment
DKN117 Posted August 31, 2015 Author Share Posted August 31, 2015 (edited) Well, the only violence she's ever committed is on the job (as a bank security officer, against armed robbers, just as someone in her job description is supposed to, and even then she used non-lethal rubber bullets), and against a thug who was trying to kill her (and she only went for the leg stab AFTER the thug had slashed her eye out, and hadn't been TRYING to hit a major blood vessel when she did it). Otherwise she's not a violent person, doesn't really have anger issues. It's just that she was on duty the first time, and fighting for her life the second. She'll defend herself, has some training for that sort of thing, but she really doesn't like the idea of seriously hurting someone unless it's abundantly clear to her that she has to. An annoying person or overly-motherly Amazon will never count as that (well, unless for whatever reason they actually DO try to seriously hurt her; you never know about some people). Edited August 31, 2015 by DKN117 Link to comment
DKN117 Posted September 1, 2015 Author Share Posted September 1, 2015 Ellie walked down the sidewalk in the uptown area, weaving between the other people in this moderately busy area, passing by the countless little shops and looking to see if anyone was hiring (and if so, if they were hiring Littles). She shivered a little as a gust of wind came by; here, in this town she called home, the temperature was rather cool; even in the peak of Summer, temperatures rarely broke above 80. Right now, it was early November, so the weather was well on its way toward the chill of Winter. So far, she hadn 1 Link to comment
DKN117 Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 I'm kinda waiting for any more feedback/comments/whatever before I start work on the next chapter - suggestions for alterations, comments/opinions on things (the Amazon women's reactions and that of the little girl, the different races having different aging rates, diapered in-betweener kids, Ellie meets Katie, etc), whether or not anything is too 'unrealistic' in terms of previously-established Diaper Dimension worldbuilding/canon, if any of you would like to try and make predictions of how things might happen next (and possibly give me ideas in doing so)... Link to comment
Momdad22 Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 While I normally lurk around and just read these stories, I dont think you should wait for feedback. The writing you have already put forth is great (but the diaper dimension universe doesnt leave much room for bad stories)! It doesnt seem unrealistic because someone "abducting" a little seems perfectly real in the dd universe. I kinda hope her mind resists the treatment, it seems to make the stories that much more entertaining when they resist mentally! Poor ellie, already in a bad situation and the story seems to be no-where completion. Link to comment
SGTbaby Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 Please don't wait for feedback...but mine is this story sounds great so far and had certainly caught my attention. Please continue! Link to comment
Jayme Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 Please don't wait for feedback, Link to comment
Diaper_goddess Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 Write more please Link to comment
Shotgun Diplomat Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 This is a fantastic read, it adds another layer to the diaper dimension, where a little can get and hold a job of some responsibility on merit alone. Please don't wait for advice on how to proceed it is your story and you should write it however you want. Link to comment
JonhSmith13 Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 Beautiful history, Link to comment
babyanton84 Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 great story i really hope u keep it going for a bit more one idea would be to be to have her become the ladys baby where she does ot have any thing to care about any more Link to comment
DKN117 Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 To be honest, I think I came into this with unrealistic expectations. I look at Chasing Emily, and The Promise, and Duality, and every time there's a new installment posted, a bunch of people comment on every little detail, make predictions, point out hints, share theories... I became a little disheartened at not seeing any of that here, even after the 'world-building' I included in the last installment (getting no real reactions/discussions regarding different lifespans and aging rates, diapered In-Betweener children, etc). I'll keep writing and posting, but I guess I shouldn't expect more than carbon-copy "Good job this is a good chapter" type posts with no real investment (reminds me of how there's this one guy who follows my story series on Fanfiction-dot-net, and EVERY SINGLE REVIEW HE POSTS, for every chapter of all 30-and-counting Books, is always "Brilliant chapter as always" with no deviation or addition, just those four words EVERY TIME), no attention to details, no speculations, like my attempts to provide food for thought fell flatter than something that's been steamrollered... Link to comment
Shotgun Diplomat Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 (edited) ' "Brilliant chapter as always" ', however, I will elaborate. I liked this chapter because it was a well paced and well written addition to your work. I am a little disappointed that Ellie didn't fight and claw her way to resist the inevitable diapering and babying that were to come, but it was still a good fun read. As a suggestion, since Katie's Edited September 6, 2015 by Shotgun Diplomat Typo, wrong word. Link to comment
Guilyn Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 I don't post much because normally others will say what i'm thinking but this is a rare time I feel I want to give me two cents. Link to comment
HaseoTaki Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 its a very interesting story, love the details, when you tele the story it feels like I'm there, when i post comments i do it to encourage people not to influence the story, I hate spoilers..... Love the story keep up the great work. Link to comment
BabyKayla Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 This story shows a lot of promise and it's pretty refreshing Link to comment
smilekat Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 (edited) I like this story so far. Regarding your talking about all the analysis on other stories...well, this is just my opinion but I don't think your story is structured right to inspire discussion. Edited September 6, 2015 by smilekat added more Link to comment
JonhSmith13 Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 (edited) Beautiful history, wonderful storywonderful chapterReally wonderful chapterA happy ending (is perfect)----The electric truncheons are used to paralyze larger people ------------ Edited September 6, 2015 by JonhSmith13 Link to comment
DKN117 Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 (edited) Edited September 6, 2015 by DKN117 1 Link to comment
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