Jackiewope Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Howdy! This is a thing me and my boyf have been going through for a while, and I'd like some 3rd party opinions on the matter, if you have time to lend some words. Link to comment
Crimson_Wolf Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 No I don't think it's selfish at all to have your boyfriend to not wear all the time because it can and as I have read can and will ruin the fun for you. Link to comment
DLdapper Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Relationships are all about communication between partners, I think you should forget about what is 'selfish' and focus more on better communicating your concerns to your boyfriend. If him wearing a diaper limits your ability to feel sexual drive around him and you want to have sex then you need to make that clear to him. For him diapers may just be normal every day life, especially since he wears 24/7, and doesn't see how you are affected by him being diapered for sexual purposes. Link to comment
feralfreak Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Howdy! This is a thing me and my boyf have been going through for a while, and I'd like some 3rd party opinions on the matter, if you have time to lend some words. Link to comment
Bettypooh Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 So go relationships sometimes.... Link to comment
Jackiewope Posted August 25, 2014 Author Share Posted August 25, 2014 Thanks for all the replies so far! I really appreciate it. =3 Link to comment
Jilly Poo Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 You hit the nail on the head when you said relationships require compromises and it seems like he isn't really willing to compromise. Link to comment
Baby Brian Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 If your boyfriend is already wearing diapers 24/7 then I say, YES you are asking to much for him to not wear them for special occasions. Having him do so is in essence a punishment for him, no wonder he gets upset and whiney, I would too. What if he was incontinent, would you still be asking this of him and/or still love having sex with him? I do get he needs to address your concerns too though, and try to come to terms with sort of compromise with you. The two of you really will just need to sit down and talk it out. This may help some (or not). Often in a negotiation, both sides will spell out what they cannot give on (need) , and what they would also like (want). As long as both of your needs are able to be met, you can figure out what you both can want (and get) from there. If not, then chances are the two of you are not as compatible as you may think. Link to comment
Jackiewope Posted August 25, 2014 Author Share Posted August 25, 2014 If your boyfriend is already wearing diapers 24/7 then I say, YES you are asking to much for him to not wear them for special occasions. Having him do so is in essence a punishment for him, no wonder he gets upset and whiney, I would too. What if he was incontinent, would you still be asking this of him and/or still love having sex with him? I do get he needs to address your concerns too though, and try to come to terms with sort of compromise with you. The two of you really will just need to sit down and talk it out. This may help some (or not). Often in a negotiation, both sides will spell out what they cannot give on (need) , and what they would also like (want). As long as both of your needs are able to be met, you can figure out what you both can want (and get) from there. If not, then chances are the two of you are not as compatible as you may think. Link to comment
rusty pins Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 If he has to wear 24/7 for incontinence, then nothing you can do about it. 1 Link to comment
Baby Brian Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 I don't like it when people compare going 24/7 to being incontinent. Going 24/7 is a choice that's made based on preference. Being incontinent is not. And to answer your (frankly stupid) question, no, I would not be asking him to not wear if he were incontinent. Like, I wouldn't say to someone "hey, can you not bring your oxygen tank with us to the park, it's slowing us down." And if he were in fact incontinent, family and friends would not have an issue with him wearing diapers because it'd be a medical necessity. So like... that isn't even close to being a valid argument. Link to comment
Bettypooh Posted August 25, 2014 Share Posted August 25, 2014 Since it's a choice for him- and it is- then it's up to him to choose wisely. I have a huge emotional need to wear diapers but if I so want, I can do without for awhile as long as I know it's not forever If your wearing is so big a thing that it outranks your life partner it's time to either cut loose or see a Therapist to find a way to correct that. 1 Link to comment
AwakenEvil Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 I can tell you from someone being in both good and bad relations that if he fails to keep you happy it will be doomed to either a miserable life together where he is happy, and you suffer or you will end up cheating, or he will looking for what he wants. Link to comment
abdl25 Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 I agree with the the other replies about that he needs to man up for a while. He would probably enjoy it more if he isn't so involved with it. Take anything:video games, drugs, drinking, the more you do it, the less satisfying it is. 1 Link to comment
Baby Brian Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 Since it's a choice for him- and it is- then it's up to him to choose wisely. I have a huge emotional need to wear diapers but if I so want, I can do without for awhile as long as I know it's not forever If your wearing is so big a thing that it outranks your life partner it's time to either cut loose or see a Therapist to find a way to correct that. Yes, diapers are important to us but your partner is more important or you're in the wrong Bettypooh Bettypooh, our hearts are big enough to truly love more than one thing at a time. Sometimes asking us to choose between two of them is just a folly effort. My wife understands this with me, and the two coincide nicely. I see no reason why I would need to seek a therapist even if my diapers come first. There's plenty of room for me to love my wife too. So much in fact that I also love my mom, dad and even my dog too. Granted I don't love either of them as much as I do my wife, but then again I guess you might think I should see a therapist for loving my own mother less than my wife too, huh. My point is that everyone is different in the priorities, and that's ok. You often speak of being accepting towards other's beliefs even when you don't agree with it your self. All I'm asking is that you please give me the benefit of the doubt too. Link to comment
Repaid1 Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 Bettypooh, our hearts are big enough to truly love more than one thing at a time. Sometimes asking us to choose between two of them is just a folly effort. My wife understands this with me, and the two coincide nicely. I see no reason why I would need to seek a therapist even if my diapers come first. There's plenty of room for me to love my wife too. So much in fact that I also love my mom, dad and even my dog too. Granted I don't love either of them as much as I do my wife, but then again I guess you might think I should see a therapist for loving my own mother less than my wife too, huh. My point is that everyone is different in the priorities, and that's ok. You often speak of being accepting towards other's beliefs even when you don't agree with it your self. All I'm asking is that you please give me the benefit of the doubt too. Brian, BP was obviously speaking to the OP, and not you or yours, as you already described your situation. In that I would propose to you my thoughts on it. Loving and BEING N LOVE are two separate entity's. I would surmise that You are in Love with your wife, yet Love your Mother, Father, Dog and even Diapers. How to determine which your in love with? To me it's the one thing above all others in your life that you could not do without. And trust me you can't be IN LOVE with more than one thing. Ask yourself in question, If all 5 things were lined up and you HAD to make a decision of absolute, which one you would keep (and not claiming harm to the others per say) That's the one your in love with. IF you believe otherwise, IMO your just not in love with any of them. Link to comment
Baby Brian Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 Repaid, good point but I'm honestly not sure I could have chosen between my wife and my diapers. I know it's certainly possible to be IN Love with an inanimate object, as you can with a person (psychologically proven). I'd also like to respectfully disagree and say that yes, you can be IN love with more than one person/thing at the same time (also psychologically proven). But do agree that I only love the rest of my family. Of course now, this is a moot point for me any ways, and has been for some time. I am incontinent and have a true need for diapers (where even catheters would not work for me). Having to give them up likely would result in me being physically hurt, if not only by being constantly wet in public with rashes, etc. Link to comment
Bettypooh Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 Glad we could be of help in some way. You both have a very special 'someone' in your partner and finding another person similar to them would be a tough task so I hope you can find a way to work this out that makes you both happy Link to comment
Guest YoungZeppelin Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 Being i have almost no experience in relationships... YEY Link to comment
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