Advice Needed

[sarah_ab]

So what I need from you guys is do you think I’m fooling myself at taking them at face value when they say they don’t want to sensationalise us and turn us into a freak show. YES!!!!

And do you think I would be a fool for not learning from the mistakes that others have made in the past. YES!!!

At the moment I am on the side of not doing it, but I really believe in getting rid of the stigma associated with abdl's and I know if my circumstances were different, like if I didn't need to worry about getting a job and what not I would do it in a heart beat. But I’m only 25 and I don’t want to screw myself over.

So yeah what do you guys think?

Dear lord really? so somehow at 25 you are the one who can lead the world into enlightenment regarding what is considered a pretty extreme fetish?

It may sound harsh, but seriously what gives you the right to think YOU are the one? that YOU are it? because forgive me but stanley, and baby ella thought the same thing.. and it clearly worked out SOOOO well for them.. (this would be the virtual equivalent of a wake up call slap in the face by the way)

Heres the deal, you are not special, you are not the savior of ABDLs and thsi company approached everyone they could get their hands on on these websites and you were jsut fool enough to reply. They are out to make money, to make TV.. they couldn't give two shits about you and your life. Thats how it is.

But here it is.. the fact that you don't know.. the fact that you came to a fetish website to ask whether you should go on tv or not is all the evidence you need to NOT DO IT! you clearly are not even 50% sure you should do it... if you knew without a doubt than you wouldn't need to post here... therefore you do doubt.. and therefore you SHOULD NOT DO IT!

it will not go down well, for you or for others...

ON a side note where the hell do all these people live who automatically assume we are pedos? i've had countless converastions with people where abdl shit has come up and never once has one of them ever related it to being a pedophile.. so where do all these people live? except in apparently the make up hypothetical worlds on these discussion boards?

[mrmcawesome]

So would i be doing the community a dis service then by doing the show? and if so how?

Sarah i think you are taking me up wrong, i know that i wont change anything, i know i am not the saviour of us all I know i am not the one. but what i do think is that the more people see of us, especially if i come across as an average normal bloke, the more accepting they will be of us. and that maybe i might encourage who ever the one is or if they even exist to doing a show that really helps the community.

And yes definately i dont know what the right thing to do is, thats why im asking, and as i said i am on the side of no not doing it, but i really want to see every arguement for an against it. As i said its a cause i believe in so i dont want to make any quick decisions one way or another.

I wouldnt consider this to be an extreme fetish, i think its rather mild compared to the more accepted fetishes such as bdsm. And every i have told that i am an ab the first question they have asked is are you into kids, so maybe its my bad experiences that is influencing me, but isnt that part of the human condition?

Honestly i really dont want to come across like i think im hot shit or anything like that, because i truly dont believe that, i just was handed an oppertunity to maybe make a difference, and an oppertunity which i need to discuss with people.

[sarah_ab]

bdsm is considered normal now.. when an erotic soft core bdsm porn trilogy tops the best seller list for 14 weeks and is displayed on a target endcap.. bdsm is no longer considered extreme... and is now easily accepted...

wearing and using diapers... for that matter most any fetish that relates to body fluids other than semen will be considerd extreme...

[drynot]

I'm with Darkfinn on this one. The vanilla world doesn't need to know about us Ab/Dl folks at all. I know some folks are eager to share with the outside world but you need to be extremely careful to whom you reveal this side of your personality to.

Right now life is great. I can enjoy my fetish without having the whole world know about it. I can walk down the street wearing a diaper under my street clothes and no one can even tell. Heck, I even own a onesie that I wear from time to time and no one can tell that I'm actually wearing a diaper shirt.

When you open yourself up to the world by revealing your diaper fetish, you remove all the protective barriers that you currently enjoy. From that point on you'll always be remembered as the dude who liked to get his freak on with diapers.

Oh...I'm not trying to be a jerk here...but don't do me any favours. I don't need anyone to pick up the Ab/Dl torch on my behalf. If you plan on doing this show....you're doing it strictly for your benefit.....or consequences.

[mrmcawesome]

Ok drynot things may be good for you, you can walk down the street in a nappy and no one knows. You can wear a onsie and what not and again no one will know. So if I do this it will only affect you if you come out. And as I said i am not going to make a difference to how the public view us one way or another. I think the public oppinion is allready so askewed that even if the film was edited to make me look like a side show act. people will have already seen worse. So me doing the film cant make things any worse for us as a whole.

What about the people that things are crap for? Over at adisc there are hundreds of threads from kids whose parents freak out when they find out about this stuff, and there are hundreds of threads about people who want to come out but fear how people will react to them. When I was growing up the hardest thing for me was the fact that i had this huge secret burried deep down inside festering away and that i couldnt talk to people in real life about it. Even after i found out there were others like me online i still felt like crap because i couldnt talk to people in real life about it.

So I would be doing this for the people who this is not just a sexual fetish for, but so much more. For me this is not just something i like to enjoy in the bed room to get my rocks off, its something i do to relieve stress, instead of smoking or drinking i wear a diaper. It's something that i can draw power and confidence from, since i have accepted it. And I know I am not the only one, and those are the people i am going to do it for. Honestly if it was just a thing i did in the bed room i would have need to talk to people about it, but since it's so much more for me, it's such a part of my personality i need to talk to people about it. (Not talking about the film here, but life in genereal)

Not to be blunt here or anything but this film is being made one way or another. I was not asked to be the main person featured in this film, they have already found their person for that. But what they want to do is show that there are far more of us out their than people thought and that we are normal average people. So my thinking is if i dont do this, what if they fill my spot with someone less level headed, or more addicted or even someone who would just be bad for our public image.

Now i'm not saying I am this incredibly awesome trend setter that if people see me on the show that they will automaticly accept abdlism, but i am just an average bloke. And i am comfortable in my own skin, and i have figured this side of me out. So thats why i think i would be good for this show. But i can definately see how i wouldnt be.

So Editing is a big point people are making and rightfully so. So say if editing wasnt a problem, that hypothetically speaking, we were guaranteed it wasnt going to be edited to make us look like freaks, would people be all right with it? For me it's a big concern, it's one of the big things that has me on the no side. If editing wasnt a problem the only thing that would stop me from doing it would be the possible career suicide that would ensue. But if this documentary was going to be an from an unbiased view point, and was edited to reveal the truth would you guys be more comfortable with it?

Now i am not saying that is the way it is going to be, but rather just interested in seeing what people think on the subject. As i said it's a cause i believe in and want to be a part of, so maybe my contribution would be to make an independant documentary, which i edit and get out their? Not saying thats what i'm going to do but its an idea. Do you think that an documentary about ab's made by an ad and not for a tv company that is interested in ratings, would be a good thing? Should it be something that needs to be considered?

[rusty pins]

It's all about your own comfort level. If you are out and in the open about your diapers and don't care who knows you wear or who will find out, then you may feel comfortable doing the interview. Just the fact that you said you don't want your face shown makes me think you are in the closet or not comfortable in other's knowing or finding out you like diapers. If that's the case, I would recommend against you participating.

Another thing to consider. Quite often the rehersal interview is different than the actual taped interview! You reherse and think you know the questions that will be asked and you have your answeres prepaired and worked out. Then when air time happens or the actual taping, the interviewer hits you with compleatly different questions, often defensive questions aimed at provoking a negative response from you that is confrontary in nature. They may pretend they are interested in helping get this interest out in the open for people to understand it, but in actuality, their interest is in entertainment, causung conflicts, possible ridicule and whatever they can do to get an audience to watch. Jerry Springer comes to mind. If it were me and I was way out of the closet, I wouldn't even do it.

[lilwetone]

For your sake, please don't do this.

By not allowing you to remain anonymous and hide your face, they have already shown that they do not care for your safety. Consider this, You say the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, but what you don't realize is that the community does not need another skewed documentary. If you are a level headed individual that wants to do what is reasonable to help with a calm open discussion, then the "Needs of the many" in this case are for the "few" to stay safe.

There will be other, better chances with less risk. Please don't do this.

[thong5]

I would have to agree with the others who said " Don't Do This ". It seems to me that while you are trying help I can only see the hurt that would come from this. Even if you know what they will ask you it comes down to how the viewers will perceive your answers. The question begging to be asked of you is this fetish of yours sexual in nature and even if you answer no for me it's comfort or stress relief whatever it leaves open that there are who wear for sexual needs etc. People won't remember the guy who just wears diapers they will think about the ones who wear for sexual gratifcation and the like and that would put a bad light on all AB/DLs as some sort of sex freak and we don't need that as a community for sure. You are 25 and an adult you can and will do what you feel is right for you but my advice and i am older than you is pass on this one.

[mrmcawesome]

Ok i never even thought of it like that thong, that even if i come across proper that the audience may percieve it differently. Thats definately something to think about.

Now i know i'm coming across like my mind is made up to do the show, but it really isn't, if anything my mind is made up to not do the show, but i really just want to look at it from every angle.

At the moment my conclusions are not to do it because it will be edited to make me look bad, and also i am not willing to risk future employment over this.

But would it be worth doing A show, not necesarrily this show, where i could be guaranteed that it wouldnt be edited negatively?

[drynot]

mrmcawesome: I hear what you are saying. No one should live in fear for just being who they are. However the stark reality of the world is that people are going to hate you...for just BEING you no matter how many millions of people out there say its OK. When you put yourself out there on TV or social media or whatever you can't really know your audience. You have no way of knowing who is waiting in the wings just primed to let you know about his 'personal' interpretation of who and what Ab/Dl folks are. They won't care that you might be a wonderful person who serves at soup kitchens or animal shelters. They won't care that you treat everyone you meet with respect. They just won't care.

Case in point is the current obesity epedemic that is sweeping our nations. People don't care who you are. All they see is that your fat. You can't hide being overweight. You can't hide struggling to climb stairs or anything. And on top of all that...all people see is that YOU'RE FAT! Once you're fat, you're automatically a loser and a drain on society. You can hide being an Ab/Dl quite easily and no one will ever need to know. Once you reveal that fact to the world though.....look out.

Look...we all know it's your life and you can live it the way you choose. I think all we're really saying is that be careful. Even the most well meaning, best edited 'documentaries' on Ab/Dl folks have turned us into freak shows. I can't see this one being any different.

[sarah_ab]

regardless of how they edit the show you habe no control over viewer reactions and perceptions .... no matter what you say or do there will be a public backlash and you will have to live with that ....

you could give the most intelligent and insightful interview but there will always be those who will percieve you negatively and who will vocalise their perceptions ....

[BabyGizmo]

i compleatly disagree with almost the entire community. if telling the general public we are around doesnt edge forward accaptance, then what will?

tell me how hiding in fear helps us? on way. it doesnt. all it causes is ignorace, so when people learn about it it is new and forign and creepy. if they know about it before hand, they are always goeing to be much more open to the discussion, even if they have negitive views on the subject.

spreading awareness can only help the community. stanly doing it was one man and his mommy. now its known though taboo, a show that specalises in showing off extreem fetishes and habbits. but its known. if 100 people do it, people will start to think "well maybe its not so weird after all!"

the only reasion BDSM is now mainstream is because the few people who where into it spread the joy. they opened up. then, when more and more people realised it is out there, more people began to accept it. there will always be hates, but if they dont know, they cant accept.

my opinion, do it if you want, and ignor the people who say otherwise. as long as you can show we have nothing to do with real children and are normal working people, the community will benifit. how much depends on how much the show gets viewed. i can garentee though, my local station will be calling me if you do for a second interview. they mentioned that my interview had some of the highest listeners in a long while. so people are defenatly interested to hear more.

also, the only real issue i had was an awekward conversation with my favorite co-worker because he has 2 kids, one being still in diapers, and he wanted to double chek i dont like children. it was a little weird for a while, but people always move on. use a fake name. people who know you and find out, its a test to see who is a true friend and who is not. also it is illegal for jobs to hire or fire for sexual preference. so you will be fine. i vote do it.

[Bettypooh]

I would love to see a better acceptance of ABDL, but so far the results of those who have tried achieving it this way have been questionable at best, and terrible at worst which left us worse off than before overall In my own interview I had the upper hand for many reasons, my subject was less controversial, I knew my segment was going to be seen in it's entirety (or very nearly so) and I was smarter than my interviewer Their whole staff was relatively new to the interview-show game and I manipulated them more than they manipulated me That doesn't often happen and is not likely to happen here either. If they don't have first-hand experience they now have a lot of experience through the other shows which have dealt with this so you'll not likely have that upper hand. That is why I said you must have full control of the editing (which they won't give you) or it is better to simply walk away from it

I choose to make changes in this world through personal actions and through the written word, which I can control and edit until I close all the avenues they might use to twist my intentions before they have a chance to do that It is the best means to convey thoughts concisely to large audiences, though these days there is a trend for most people to skip the reading and to watch what they think is the same thing on a vid instead Most of them do not realize fully that what they are seeing was designed to make them see things the way the vid's creators intended them to, and most of them simply believe it as-is Depth of thought is generally lacking in the world today and has been replaced by the sensational which makes for easier discussions If you can do a great job with this then fine- go for it. Just be absolutely certain of that and know all the implications this will bring both to you and the rest of us before you begin and be ready for them to happen- this is not a nice world, it's just our world as it really is where reality often has a very big and nasty bite

Bettypooh

[mrmcawesome]

Ok so i have talked with the producers again and i genuinely believe that it wont be sensationalised. With that said though i will go and look at the other stuff they have done and then decide.

At the moment i am more likely to do it, I'm thinking that the chance of maybe doing some good makes all the risks good enough to take. But I'm still not sure, like i have to think about my friends and family and how they will react to it, and will it embaras them. And then I'm still a bit petrified of how it will negatively impact my life.

Thank you to everyone who has responded, i really need to look at every view point before i make my mind up one way or another. But please don't take me saying as this is discussion over, I still am not sure on what to do and I am still weighing everything up

[Paulo]

Is this a UK documentary?

[mrmcawesome]

Yup it is

[sarah_ab]

Again, this has nothing to do with how the show edits you.. and everything to do with public perception YOU CANNOT CONTROL PUBLIC PERCEPTION!

But clearly although you claim to have been leaning towards saying no, everything you said shows you really want to do it, and are looking for people to validate your desire to air your private life on tv....