Why Not Try New Mini Chap

[baby frost]

( this is my first story on the site please offer your suggestions just dont be to harsh i respect eveyones opinion)

Winter atkins was your average girl she was 5 feet tall with raven black hair and green eyes she wasnt the most developed 17 year old but she was happy with her body. On this friday night instead of partying with some of her wild freinds winter chose to babysit her neighbors 3 kids. Bryce the oldest was 5, zoey the middle child was 3, and faith the youngest was 1 1/2. Winter enjoyed watching the kids because they let her remember what it was like to be carefree. No worrying about paper deadlines or cramming for tests, not having to be the best dress or the prettiest. They just enjoyed her company and her for who she was. At the moment she was watching t.v. With the kids on the rug playing with their toys, when she caught a wiff of a ripe diaper.

Both faith and zoey were in diapers full time, zoey tried potty training once but she wasnt ready so her parents just put her back in diapers. " which one of you cuties made a present for me". Both girls giggled and continued to play. " ok guess ill just have to check you both" she pucked up faith first and gave her butt a sniff. " your dry and clean so that means zoey made the boom boom". She moved to where zoey was and the smell lingered around her. " you gonna let me take care of that boom boom diapee of yours zoey".

Zoey shook her head and said " me pway now". Winter giggled " fine 5 more minutes then we gotta change your stinky butt". Winter moved back to the couch and started thinking about what it would be like to be a baby again, no worries no running to the potty all the time, she daydreamed about it for about 2 minutes when she heard the garage door open. " well zoey lets get the bottom clean so you can smell good for your mommy k".

" tell me what you think so far and i might continue it"

[baby vinny]

looks like a good start would love to read more

[BabyFergstar]

Not a bad attempt, especially for a first-timer. To be honest, I'm more into stories where guys are babied by women, so here's some basic (what I hope is) constructive criticism for you - your spelling is much better than average, which is a nice thing to see, so the only things I would suggest would be 1.) Try going for longer chapters, and 2.) work on your capitalization. Proper names, first and last, should be capitalized. Again, good first effort! I would say that if you work on capitalization and maybe a little bit of punctuation, you could be a good writer. I hope you take this as constructive and not nitpicky...that was not my intent.

[JustJoe]

There is a story on 'dailydiapers' which this reminded me of. I think it may be helpful (or simply enjoyable) for you to read it.

Here is a link: http://www.dailydiapers.com/content/stories/265.html

On the whole for a first attempt I thought your little piece of story was good. I liked the tenderness of Winter. Plus the character motives are simple, but clear and I guess felt relateable in that respect.

My only pet peeve was that you started with a physical discribtion of the character. That's something we all get taught to do in school but how often do you realisitically read a novel in which starts off like you're reading an FBI dossier on someone? I personally find it distracting. If you want to express your character's apperences you can do it in more subtle ways. For example,

"As Winter lifted zoey off the rug to take the girl to the changing table, the toddler's face was tickled by strands of Winter's loose long black hair, Zoey playfully tried to reach for it until Winter brushed it brushed it behind her ear with her free hand."

That offers a detail and it progresses the the story. Just try to be smart like that.

Thanks for sharing what you've written so far.

[WBDaddy]

( this is my first story on the site please offer your suggestions just dont be to harsh i respect eveyones opinion)

I won't be harsh, though I will be direct and to the point.

Winter atkins was your average girl she was 5 foot 4 with raven black hair and green eyes she wasnt the most developed 17 year old but she was happy with her body.

This is called an "info dump", and it's what all mediocre to downright bad fiction starts with. Don't do this. Introduce your character with action, adding descriptions where it actually adds to the story instead of distracting from it.

The reason why this is such a terrible way to start off a story? It makes me not care about the character. I don't care about an "average girl (or boy or man or woman)". You just started your story by declaring that your lead character, the focus of the story, is vanilla and boring.

[baby frost]

( thankyou everyone for your suggestions i will try harder to make this story better and more enjoyable)

Winter carried Zoey upstairs to the nursery and laid her down on the changing table. She watched Zoey for a minute and noticed she didnt even care about her loaded diaper she just was enjoying herself. Bringing over the changing supplies winter ripped off the tabs and opened the diaper. " wow somebody sure ate alot at dinn dinn huh". After using many wipes Zoey was clean. " theres the cute little tushie im used to no more mud butt". She powdered Zoeys bottom and taped on the new diaper just as Ms.. Baker came into the room with Faith.

Ms. Baker put Faith in her crib and gave her a bottle. Winter gave zoey to Ms. Baker." Ms. Baker do you mind if a stay a little longer I kinda dont want to go home yet". Ms. Baker smiled she knew winters mom had twins a couple months back and was yet to learn how to spread the love to all her children equally, sure the babies needed most of the attention but winter needed some mommy daughter time too." No problem you can leave whenever your ready". " thank you so much Ms. Baker" giving her a hug she walked back downstairs and played leggos with bryce.

About an hour later, Bryce was put to bed and Winter decided it was time to go home. She didnt hate her home but she didnt like it much either.Once the twins were born if was like she went from regular teen to nanny. Her parents made her get this, do that, they only used her name when they complained about what she did wrong. She enjoyed listning to her ipod while she was in her room. She couldnt do that anymore because it either woke up the babies or made them cranky. She was starting to spend less and less time at home, staying late at school to do her homework, or just walking around town. School ended the next week and she didnt know what she would do to get out the house.Opening the door to her house she was welcomed with both babies crying and her parents giving her a dirty look. " had to slam the door we just put them to sleep, then you come in and wake them up" her mother said. "Sorry mom next time ill use the doggy door or just sleep outside not like you care about me anyway". Both her parents were about to say something when she ran upstairs and made sure to slam hee door this time.

[babynicole]

love the story! keep up the good work!

[BabyFergstar]

Big improvement from the first bit, well done!

[baby frost]

Thankyou everyone i will add chapter 3 tommorow the input is great please comment to help me improve

[NewGuy20]

Interesting story. Your character, Winter, seems to be developing nicely. It sounds like we can relate to her feelings and emotions. This is your first story so you'll get much better with practice. You sound like you take constructive criticism pretty well and thats a good thing because you're writing already seems like its getting better in just a few short installments.

Just so you know, its kind of a rule when writing a story to separate things that a character says into their own paragraph to make them easier to read - even if its just a sentence. Also, if there are multiple characters, its important to mention who is talking so the reader doesn't get confused.

Here's just a small example from your first installment of how it might look.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Both faith and zoey were in diapers full time. Zoey tried potty training once but she wasnt ready so her parents just put her back in diapers.

"Which one of you cuties made a present for me?" asked Winter with a smile.

Both girls giggled and continued to play.

"Ok guess ill just have to check you both." she said, plucking up Faith to give her butt a sniff.

Sometimes it may feel a bit strange to write like this at first. It might sometimes feel like you've got a bunch of individual sentences. But it makes the story easier to follow, especially if there are multiple characters having a full conversation. I think your story will look much more professional if you do that. Anyways, cool story, interesting concept. Good luck with the rest!

[baby frost]

Thankyou about the spacing i actually wanted to do it like that but i thought it would be wrong i appreciate you helping me

[hiddenname150]

Great start can't wait to see how the story plays out.

[baby frost]

Thankyou all for staying with me and this story heres chapter 3

Once winter got in her room she immediatly started crying.

" why do i even bother with them all they care about is their precious babies"

She laid back on her bed when she felt her tummy rumble

" great now i have to go back out there and see them again, why didnt i just eat before i came home"

She got off her bed and opened her door quietly she tip toed downstairs and walked past the living room into the kitchen.

" i guess they all must have went to sleep that was pretty fast, at least now i can make my food in peace"

She opened the fridge and started to look around, she took out some bread, a little roast beef and some cheese and decided on making a sandwich.

" its amazing how i live her yet they never make me any food, they make their lovely twins all their food but i get nothing, oh do i love my life.

She made her sandwich and got a glass of juice to go with it taking her food she walked past the living room and was about to walk up the stairs.

" winter could you come here we need to talk"

It was her fathers voice no doubt her mom was there too and we need to talk is code for were about to complain some more.

" great and it starts again"

She walked into the living room and saw her mother and father sitting on the couch so she decided to sit on the loveseat.

" winter what do you did to your mother and me earlier was extremely rude, we were trying to put your baby brother and sister to sleep and you purposely interrupted us on multiple occasions, just because you want to stomp around and slam doors doesnt mean you have to disturb everyone else"

Winter couldnt believe what she was hearing, her dad was talking about her like she was some sort of godzilla or something.

" you cant be serious right now" winter said

Her mother decided it was her turn to talk

" you also choose to stray away from doing what we ask of you, you're always babysitting the Bakers why dont you help us with your siblings more"

Winter couldnt take it anymore, the tears were streaming down her face and she didnt really care about what her parents said anymore.

" maybe i wouldnt stay there so much if everytime i do something theres a complaint coming my way, i feel like im being ostracized in my own house, you always talk about me waking them or me doing everything wrong, i barely get any sleep at night, my ears constantly ring due to all the crying, but no one cares about my problems or about me in general so why does it matter.

" you mighht as well give them my sandwich too cause lord knows i dont get to eat in this house" she threw the sandwich on the ground and stormed up to her room.

Once she got in her room she grabbed her teddy bear and got under the covers and cried herself to sleep.

The next morning she showered and put some clothes walking downstairs she saw her parents in the kitchen and went back to her room. She grabbed her laptop and decided to look up some stuff. She still rememerbed how she had a daydream about being a baby and decided she wanting to see if others had the same feelings.

After an hour of looking at websites and getting a better understanding she learned alot about herself and why she had those feelings, she heard her cell phone ring and saw it was Ms. Baker

" Hi Ms. Baker"

" Hello Winter could you come over today at 3" Ms. Baker said

" sure no problem see you then" winter replied

" thankyou ill see you at 3 "

Winter was happy she didnt have to be in her house all day on a saturday and she got to play with the kids. She looked at the clock and read 1:30.

" guess i can take a nap till then"

She hopped in the bed and was soon sound asleep.

[babynicole]

great continuation!

[hiddenname150]

Nice chapter looking forward to more.

[baby frost]

Heres chapter 4 guys

While winter was sleeping she was having some relativley awkward dreams. In her dreams she was in her room but now it was her nursery.She was dressed in a pink onesie and had and obvious diaper bulge. She could even see the pink ruffles if her diaper sticking out of her onesie. Looking around she noticed she was in a crib. The crib itself was white with pink bars. The mobile above her head alternating between hearts and butterflies. Suddenly the door opned and her mother walked in. Winter looked at her mom and noticed she was smiling, her mother normally had a look of disapproval when she looked at Winter but now she looked loving.

" theres my beautiful baby girl" she picked Winter up and placed her on her hip. Moving over to the rocking chair she sat down and laid Winter across her lap.

" Is my baby hungry" her mother started to undo her bra and lift her shirt

Winter could not believe what was happening she tried to say no but all that came out her baby mouth was gurgles and coos as her mother moved her closer to her breast. Soon she heard crying and she woke up.

She heard her parents running up the stairs to the nursery down the hall. Knowing they would be busy she hurriedly put on a sundress and some flip flops she got her phone and ipod and silently left the house and started to walk to the Bakers house.

" that dream was so awkward my mom actually liked me and i could feel the warmth of her body"

Walking onto the Bakers porch she decided to just think about it later

[baby bear]

Very nice! invested now can't wait for more

[hiddenname150]

Another great addition look forward to more.

[baby frost]

Winter rang the doorbell and waited for someone to answer. Ms. Baker opened the door.

" come on in dear. Ms. Baker said

" Thank you Ms.Baker what is it that you needed?

Ms Baker smiled

" well i know how much you like playing with the kids and they like you alot so I was wondering if you could just play with them today, Ill be here the ehole time so just have fun.

Winter was ecstatic she really did enjoy playing with the kids. It made her feel young and not as stressed

" thankyou Ms. Baker. She hugged Ms. Baker and went upstairs to the playroom.

" hey guys. She said as she got in the room

" Winter are you here to babysit again. Bryce asked

" not today your mommy let me come over just to play with you guys. She said smiling

" yay. The kids said in unison they started to play blocks together and see who could make the beat castle. About in hour later Ms. Baker walked in.

" whos hungry for lunch.everyone raised their hand except winter

" winter i mnow you're hungry too ill make you a plate also ok

" thankyou Ms. Baker. She blushed

Walking back downstairs Ms. Baker thought about winter.

" she sure does like playing with the kids, shes not that tall and dresses awful cute, id bet she wouldnt even object to being treated like a toddler.

Ms. Baker thought about it for a while longer and decided she was going to ease winter into a more childish role. She was only 5 feet tall and she didnt have wide hips so she could fit in zoeys crib and probably fit her diapers too, but that was later first she made chicken nuggets with tater totts for lunch and put them on the animal plates that seperate the food from the ketchup and other stuff. She then put 2 sippy cups and A bottle in the table, she then made faiths formula. Looking at the table she decided if winter said anything she would just say your like the kids today. Ms. Baker smiled she knew winter wouldnt say anything she liked the plates as much as the kids did and soon enough she would be her new baby.

[diaperpc]

llove the story. cant wait for more. the cliff hangers are killing me

[babyredhead]

Great story looking forward to more!

[Angela Bauer]

Very Interesting and getting more fascinating with every additional chapter.

[baby frost]

Ms. Baker walked back into the playroom to get the children for lunch. She picked up faith and put her on her hip and took zoey by the hand with bryce and Winter following.

" lets wash our hands everyone.

Leading everyine to the bathroom she turned on the sink and washed faith and zoeys hands then moved the step stool so bryce could was his hands, Winter was last and washed her hands then followed everyone into the kitchen. Ms baker had 2 booster seats in two chairs and a regular chair. Winter took a seat in the regular chair and looked at the food. She smiled at the lion cub plate smiling at her and started to eat.

Ms. Baker watched everyone eat and was hoping winter wouldnt say anything about the sippy cup. She was feeding faith and giving her self a couple bites of food here and there.

Winter was almost done when she felt she was thirsty she looked up and saw her drink was in a sippy cup. She wanted to say something about it but Ms. Baker did something her parents didnt, not only did she make winter food she actually stayed in the room and ate with her so she wasnt all alone. Picking up the sippy cup she started drinking and liked the sweet juice so she drank and was soon finished with her meal.

" sippy cups arent that bad at least my dress didnt get wet. Winter thought and smiled

Ms. Baker watched winter drink from the sippy cup and counted it as a victory. She knew the kids were normally tired after their lunch so now that eceryone was finished she sat faith down and got some wer wipes from the cabinet.

" look at mommies messy babies let me get you all clean.

She proceeded to wipe everyones face and hands and smiled when she was done

" follow mommy i have to get you ready for nap time.

Winter blushed when she got cleaned, she was gonna say somethong about the nap but she did find herself kinda tired.

" Winter take Zoey to her nursery im going to put down faith and bryce then ill be in for you two ok. She smiled

" ok Ms. Baker come on zoey. She walked into zoeys nursery and thought where am i gonna sleep.

Ms . Baker came in and smiled

" ok girls time for a nap come over here and ill get you settled.

Zoey went first and got her diaper changed, Ms. Baker then just put a tshirt on her and put her in the crib. Looking at Winter she motioned her to come over.

Winter reluctantly walked over.

" do you wet the bed honey. Ms baker asked.

" umm well it happens like once or twice a month but for the most part no.

"well lets put tou in a diaper just in case. Ms. Baker smiled

Winter was going to reject but soon found herself laying on the changing table. She felt rather scared and kinda awkward and her facial expression and body motions showed it.

Ms. Baker smiled at Winter

" relax baby im not going to hurt you if anything youll probably feel better, i know you dont get much love at home. Just calm down and everything we be ok i promise.

Winter listned to what Ms. Baker said and started crying.

Ms. Baker saw her start crying and picked her up and comforted her

" aww its ok baby im here just let it all out.

After winter cried a little more Ms. Baker took off her dress and panties and grabbed one of zoeys thicker night time cloth diapers and a pink t shirt. She quuckly diapered her and put the t shirt on her. Moving over to the rocking chair she sat down and fed winter a warm bottle of milk and held her until she fell asleep. Smiling she put her in the crib next to Zoey put a cover over them and kissed their forheads.

" night night babies.

Winter enjoyed Ms. Baker cuddling her and stopped crying.After her clothes were off she found herself laying on the changing table again. She saw the pink my little pony cloth diaper being put on her and actually liked it. It was soft and comforting, next she was put in a pink shirt and brought over to the rocking chair. She saw the bottle coming and accepted it. She drank and soon felt herself falling asleep.

[Orion]

I have to say, this is my favorite kind of story and one of the best I've read. Thank you. I can't wait to read some more!

[diaperpc]

love this story please cont. we want more we want more.