The Training Of A Diaper Lover

[Craisler]

     From the time I was born until I was 6 ½ years old my family lived in a 30 foot travel trailer.  Ours didn’t travel.  It was parked permanently in a trailer camp.  Our trailer (like all of the trailers) in the trailer camp lacked indoor plumbing.  The central building with the water faucets, showers, toilets, and laundry was located about 100 feet from our trailer and right on a major thoroughfare.  We carried water in a bucket from the central building to the trailer for drinking and washing dishes.  I have absolutely no memories of ever using the toilets or showers at the trailer camp.  I used to get baths at my grandparents house when we visited there (usually at least once a week).

      I can only remember one time that I was ever in the trailer camp’s central building.  My best friend at the trailer camp and I cautiously stuck our heads in the men’s room to see what was in there.  The door was open, but the lights were off.  It was a dark and scary place.

      I was daytime toilet trained by the time I was 2 ½ years old.  At least, that’s what I believe was the case.  There is photographic evidence that I was wearing training pants during the day by that time.  My toilet training consisted of using a potty chair that was kept in parent’s bedroom right next to the head of the bed.

      One afternoon about that time, I was left alone in the trailer while my mother went across the street to the super market.  It was a warm summer day and I was wearing just my underpants.  While she was gone, I needed to poop.  I vaguely remember looking at the potty chair, which was less than ten feet away, and thinking I should use it, but it was smelly from an earlier deposit.  So, I squatted and went in my pants.

      I filled my pants with lumps that didn’t stick to the cloth very much.  I probably could have gotten away with my misdeed if I’d just emptied the contents of my pants into the potty chair.  Instead, I removed my pants and hid them behind a pile of laundry stacked up near a door in the bedroom.  The pile was taller than I was.  I held the pants by the waistband so that the lumps were cupped in the seat of the pants and slung the whole works over the pile.  From what I could tell, the pants slid down behind next to the wall of the trailer out of sight.  I put on clean pants and acted innocent when my Mom returned.

      Sometime later she discovered the dirty pants either because of the smell or because they weren’t out of sight from someone several feet taller than I was.  After a scolding, she put a pink and blue snap-on fitted diaper on me.

      Indignant at having my underpants removed, being diapered, and called a baby, I stomped around the trailer throwing a tantrum.  My mother was lying on the couch reading a book doing her best to ignore me.  Pretty soon, I got so mad at being ignored that I squatted and wet the diaper.  I did a pretty good job of it, too, because I remember making a puddle on the kitchen floor.  She laughed and told me I really was being a baby.  That made me even more furious.

      As punishment for the tantrum, she diapered me and sent me to bed.  The next day, she didn’t allow me to wear underpants.  Instead, after breakfast, she changed my diapers and sent me outside to play.

      This punishment went on for quite a while because my Mom and I were both very obstinate.  She wouldn’t let me go back to wearing underpants until I stopped wetting and messing the diapers.  However, I felt that if I was forced to wear diapers, I might as well use them.  After all, that is what I did at night and that was okay.  As a result, I was wearing them for quite a while.  I don’t think that the actual punishment went on for another four or five years, though.  After a while, I guess we both got used to the routine of me wearing diapers.  Old family photographs and home movies document the fact that I was still wearing diapers when I was 8 years old.

      I believe that this event and the resulting punishment was the start of my obsession with diapers.  But over the years, I forgot or suppressed the memory of it.  I had no conscious recollection of wearing diapers so long.  While looking closely at the movies and photographs, some of the memories began coming back to me.  I started remembering some of the incidents that happened back then.

      When I was around 3 years old, I spent a couple of nights in the hospital to have a hydrocele repaired.  I specifically remember being unhappy that I wasn’t allowed to wear diapers in the hospital because of where the incision was located.  I thought this was unfair since there were other kids in the ward older than I was who were diapered.  Even though I wasn’t diapered, I don’t remember wetting the bed while I was there.  I do remember that the nurses were very unhappy with me because during the day I kept getting out of bed to use the toilet rather than calling for them so that they could help me use the bedpan.

      Obviously, being diapered when I was very young was normal.  Later on, though, after toilet training started it became more problematic.  At night, I was diapered so that I wouldn’t have to be escorted to the central building in the middle of the night or stink up my parent’s bedroom with a deposit in the potty chair.  Since my Dad worked nights and usually slept late in the morning, I was typically diapered until he got up.

      Often, I was diapered for the entire day when I was playing with my friends around the trailer camp.  I don’t really remember what criteria were used to decide which type of underwear I’d be wearing.  However, I suspect that the choice of underwear was more of a practical decision depending of the circumstances.  This was the routine until we moved out of the trailer in 1954, when I was six and a half years old.

      Because I wore diapers for so long, my bladder was never stretched to expand its capacity or develop the muscles.  This resulted in my wearing diapers anytime we were going somewhere that I couldn’t easily get to a bathroom.  Trips to the park, shopping, my grandparent’s house, fishing, long car trips, etc., were all occasions when I was diapered.

      As I remember and this is confirmed by the home movies, many of the kids in the trailer camp wore diapers at least part of the time.  The movies show us still wearing diapers when several of us were about 5 years old.  Diapering the kids was probably more convenient and possibly safer than letting them use the facilities in the main building because it kept them away from a busy city street and closer to their trailers where the parents could keep an eye on them.

      At the time, I never gave any thought at all to be wearing diapers to bed or while playing around the trailer camp even when I was six years old.  It was so normal and unremarkable that I don’t remember objecting or giving any thought at all to what kind of underwear I was wearing.  It was perfectly natural to switch between diapers and underpants depending on the situation.

      I wouldn’t be surprised if the parents didn’t prefer keeping the kids in diapers.  That way the potty chairs didn’t smell up the trailers.  About the best that could be done with the potty chairs of that era was to put a book or magazine over the opening.  However, that didn’t do much to confine the smell.  Sooner or later, the parents would have to carry the smelly pans from the potty chairs across the trailer camp to empty their contents in the toilets in the main building.  At least dirty diapers could be tossed in a diaper pail that could be well sealed.

      Since the potty chair was my primary daytime toilet for nearly four years, my toileting habits were tailored to it.  I always sat to urinate.  I didn’t learn to stand at a toilet until we moved to the suburbs where our new house was located.  I never held my penis to direct the stream.  The potty chair had a deflector, so when I sat down, I simply went.  I didn’t have to be aware of where I was squirting.  Anytime we were at my grandparent’s house they still had to put a deflector on the toilet seat and help me go.

      Even when I was 6 years old, I was still using the potty chair since that was the only “toilet” in the trailer.  Using a potty chair as a 6 year old is not as easy as using one as a 3 year old.  The older I got, the less I liked using it.  Basically, I didn’t fit on the potty chair very well; occasionally it was a messy process; and it frequently smelled bad because it hadn’t been emptied.  Sometimes, when I used the potty chair, a puddle of urine would be in the bottom of the pot when I’d have a bowel movement.  I really didn’t like getting splashed.  That may have been one of the reasons that wore diapers during the day when I got older.  Diapers were easier to use and the mess was contained.

      When I was first toilet trained, a full bladder would wake me up if I had to go during the night even when I was still wearing a diaper.  By the time I was about 4 years old, though, I was a chronic bed wetter again.  I slept right through the night and wake up with wet diapers in the morning.  I didn’t learn how to stay dry at night again until I was 7 or 8 years old.

      Just a few days after moving into the house, we drove out to Phoenix, Arizona to visit my other grandparents and vacation out there.  On the morning we left, I was already diapered for the trip when two friends came over to say good bye.  I hid in the house, because I was afraid that the T-shirt and shorts I was wearing wouldn’t hide the diapers.  To me, my shorts looked very bulky and I thought that no one could fail to notice what I was wearing.  My friends didn’t know that I still wore diapers at night and I was afraid they would tease me, but my mother insisted that I go out and talk to them.  Neither of them said anything about the diapers or teased me about them later, so maybe they didn’t notice.

      Given my embarrassment, by then I must have realized that kids my age did not normally wear diapers.  It may have been normal in the trailer camp, but not in the suburbs.  Among kids, diapers were not socially acceptable and they could lead to vicious teasing of the wearer.       I do remember one of my friends teasing me later after we returned from the trip about the apparent curvature of my back and my butt very prominent because I was diapered.  After that, I was very careful to walk more erectly with my pelvis slightly forward to minimize the prominence of my rear end while wearing diapers.

      During the trip, my mother changed my diapers on roadside picnic tables and rest rooms in plain view of anyone passing by.  Being six and a half years old, I was initially mortified that strangers saw me having my dirty diapers changed.  After a while though, I got used to it and no longer objected or cared if anyone saw me in a diaper.  It was so warm in the car that I was frequently wearing just a diaper and plastic pants while I slept in the back seat.  I’d get dressed in the car or in the parking lot when we stopped to eat or go sightseeing.

      My Dad had saved up a bunch of vacation time, so we were gone for about a month.  The home movies and photographs show that I wore diapers for the entire time we were on vacation.  Pictures taken at the all of the places we visited show me wearing something bulkier than underpants under my jeans and shorts.

      Wearing diapers exclusively for a month and never using a toilet resulted in a major step backward in my toilet training.  Prior to the vacation, I don’t remember having any daytime accidents while not wearing a diaper.  After the trip, I was having accidents again.

      Though I was embarrassed at wearing a diaper while playing with my friends when we got home, it was less embarrassing than wetting my pants.  However, I would be starting grade school in just a month certainly didn’t want to wear a diaper to school.

      As the start of school got closer, my toilet training got more serious.  My younger sister and I were being toilet trained at the same time.  I remember my Mom needling me about my lack of progress, telling me that my sister, who was almost 4 years younger than I was, would be out of diapers before I was.  That turned out to be the case.  Several pictures of us taken a year later show that I was still wearing diapers and my sister wasn’t.  Though I don’t remember it, that would mean that I was wearing a diaper to school for the entire first grade.  It could account for the reason I disliked first grade.

      Even though I was finally toilet trained, after using diapers for almost 8 years I never felt safe not wearing them.  I developed a compulsion to wear diapers periodically, particularly at night, but at other times, too.  Prior to analyzing the old pictures, I didn’t know why.  Even though I think I now understand the origins of my compulsion, I can’t suppress it and still feel the need to wear diapers.  Not all the time, but fairly frequently.  It is a habit that is very deeply ingrained.

      I tried all the different ways of simulating diapers that a grade schooler can think of.  I wore multiple layers of underpants.  I stuffed towels in my underpants.  I pinned on towels.  You name it, I probably tried it.  I also frequently got caught.

      When I was required to wash dishes, I would carefully wet my pants.  I would try to leak just enough to make my underpants damp without it showing on my jeans.  If I miscalculated, I could “accidentally” dump some water down my front from one of the dishes.  Even though I did this fairly often, my Mom didn’t seem to notice the stained or damp underwear.  If she did, she didn’t say anything until much later after a different kind of “accident.”

      The other kind “accident” was when I began soiling my pants again.  I did it when I was alone in my bedroom or in the house by myself.  I’d soil my pants just before bathing and then rinse them out in the shower.  Unfortunately, I didn’t let the pants dry before tossing them down the dirty clothes chute.  Naively, I thought they would dry while they were in the dirty clothes pile in the basement.  Since my Mom didn’t like doing laundry, dirty clothes often piled up in the basement for two or three weeks.  By the time she got around to washing clothes, there were several soggy pants in the dirty clothes pile.

      One evening, she was doing the laundry.  Shortly before I was to go to a Boy Scout meeting, she discovered the wet underpants and confronted me with the evidence.  She asked if I was having controlling my bowel movements.  I denied having any problems.  She asked what I’d do if I soiled my pants while I was at the Scout meeting and the lumps fell out of my pants for everyone to see.  I replied with a quiet, “I don’t know.”  To me, it was a pretty tense exchange.  Obviously I was guilty, but I denied it.  I was fairly unresponsive throughout the confrontation, answering with just grunts and quiet “no’s” or “I don’t knows.”  Eventually, she let me go without getting much of an explanation.

      After being caught, I behaved myself for a while but started soiling my pants again sometime later.  I was sneakier and dried the pants on the crossbars under my bed before tossing them down the laundry chute.  I wasn’t caught again.

      Ever since I was about 14 years old, I’ve acquired diapers and waterproof pants; used them for a while before getting disgusted with myself, and finally throwing them in the trash.  A year or so later, the compulsion returns and I start the process all over again, before eventually throwing everything away.  This cycle went on for nearly 20 years.  In the last 30 years, though, I’ve accepted my need to use diapers.  So, I no longer throw the stuff out.  I simply leave it in the closet until the next time I feel the need.

      Given all these activities, you might think that I was completely obsessed with diapers.  That wasn’t really the case or, at least, it didn’t seem like it at the time.  It was more of an opportunistic activity.  I didn’t really think of doing anything until the opportunity presented itself; such as when I was home alone or I was pretty sure that I wouldn’t be caught.  I’d go for months, maybe years with no diaper related activity, not even thinking about it, and then something would set off my compulsive activity.

      As I got older though, my use of diapers became more frequent.  This was probably a result of both opportunity and availability of supplies.  Once I learned to drive and had a job, I could go shopping for the diapers instead of relying on chance to provide access to them.  Also, I was more self-sufficient and was more frequently alone at home.

      At college, I initially behaved myself for the most part, because no opportunity presented itself.  However, when my roommate dropped out after the first quarter, I had the room to myself for the remainder of the school year.  During that time, I started using diapers again.  Since I didn’t find any plastic pants my size, I could only use the diapers during the day in the room.  After wetting or messing them, I’d hide them in a plastic bag in a trunk I had in the closet.  I didn’t want to get caught washing used diapers, so I usually threw them in the incinerator.  Later on, though, I washed the diapers at the dorm laundry.

      One time I was laying on top the bed with gauze diapers pinned on.  I was trying to relearn how to have a bowel movement without actively pushing to go.  I was concentrating on relaxing the anal sphincter and keeping it from automatically tightening up again.  After a while, I felt the rectum contracting on its own and the bowels begin to move.  Suddenly one of the dorm residents opened the door to my room.  I’d forgotten and left the key in the door knob.  He didn’t say anything and just tossed me the key.  Needless to say, that scared the shit out of me (quite literally), but I never heard anything more about the incident.

      My last two years of college, I moved out of the dorm and rented a room in a private house.  While there still wasn’t much privacy, I managed to carry on my diaper related activities on a limited basis.

      After graduating and moving away from home, I started using diapers more often.  I discovered that there were such things as waterproof pants for adults.  I also discovered that adult size diapers were available.  That allowed me the freedom of wearing diapers at night and during the day away from home again.  The more often I used the diapers, the easier it got for me.  I normally wore them to bed, but would have to consciously empty my bladder or soil the diapers.  One morning, though, I woke up in the middle of having a bowel movement.  The sphincter had relaxed and the rectum started emptying while I was asleep.

      I wore diapers while flying because I had to urinate frequently.  After I started using diapers regularly at night, I found that I was urinating more frequently both at night and during the day.  Whether this was because of the bladder becoming more sensitive or shrinking again because it was no longer being stretched as much, I don’t know.  I just knew that I had to go more often.

      One time I shopped for waterproof pants at a local medical supply store.  That was the first time I admitted to wearing diapers to anyone and actually let the medical assistant at the store help me get the proper fitting pants.

      While working on my master’s degree, I was on a college class schedule rather than working a fixed eight hours a day.  As a result, I spent a great deal of time at my apartment studying or working on the computer terminal I had there.  Since it was summer and the apartment was not air conditioned, I’d wear as little as possible while at home.  Frequently, that was just a diaper and plastic pants.

      One time I left the apartment door open to get more ventilation while I was working at the computer terminal in the back room.  It was during the day and most people had gone to work.  So, I wasn’t expecting any uninvited visitors.  As I was typing away, though, the two downstairs neighbor kids wandered in the open door.

      They didn’t say anything about my unusual underwear.  Even though they were about 4 and 6 years old, they were both dressed only in diapers, too.  I’d heard that their mother was divorced and the decree specified that the father would get part-time custody once the kids were out of diapers.  So, she never attempted to toilet train them and let them wear diapers all the time.  I quickly shooed them out of the apartment and locked the door after that.  I didn’t want them talking to their mother about the guy upstairs who wears diapers.

      Each year, I’ve become more comfortable wearing diapers.  Initially, I didn’t venture outside the house.  The diapers seemed so bulky when I wore them under my jeans that I thought they were so obvious that everyone would know exactly what I was wearing.  I experimented with going out occasionally and what I discovered was that either nobody noticed or if they did notice, didn’t say anything.  Once I went to a movie and my nervousness caused my kidneys to work overtime.  I saturated the diaper and leaked all over the seat of my jeans.  However, nobody said anything as I left the theater.  As I gained more and more experience with diapers, I learned which products worked best and how long I could go before needing to change.

      I alternate between periods of going without diapers followed by weeks when I wear diapers both day and night or only at night.  A little over ten years ago, I started bedwetting again.

      My bladder sphincter must relax almost immediately when I fall asleep.  Most nights, I fall asleep very quickly and go into a very deep sleep.  Usually, sometime during the night I wake up because of one of my dogs laying on me or because they’ve pulled some of the covers off me.  When I do wake up, my bladder is empty and my diaper is wet.  In the morning, my bladder is still empty and my diapers are even wetter.

      When I’m not wearing diapers, I wear heavy underpants that look like adult-sized training pants.  Several years ago, I threw my regular briefs in the trash and switched to the heavy underpants, because I find them more comfortable and practical.  The pants aren’t waterproof, but they are well padded and have a lot of absorbency.  In recent years, I’ve had problems with leaking significant amounts of urine after emptying my bladder.  The leakage is far more than can be absorbed by regular Fruit of the Loom briefs.  My bladder sphincter doesn’t close immediately or very tightly after going.  It sometimes takes half an hour or more before it completely closes.  During that time, I’m slowly leaking urine.

      I discussed the problem with two different urologists.  After doing some urodynamics tests, they both dismissed my leaking as a minor issue.  They both said that that kind of thing happens to some people as they age.  There wasn’t anything to worry about, but the leaking was likely to get worse as I got older!  I was told that I should just learn to live with the problem.  That’s when I searched the internet and found the adult training pants.

      My regular doctor prescribed a drug to reduce the number of times I need to urinate.  However, the side effects were so bad that I decided that any alternative, including wearing training pants or a diaper, was better.  The drug caused a dry nose and throat resulting in clogged sinuses, nose bleeds, a cough, and interrupted sleep.  I would wake up at 3 AM because I couldn’t breathe.  Plus, the extended use of this drug seemed to aggravate the leakage problem.  The drug works by desensitizing and relaxing the bladder and the bladder sphincter so it can fill more fully before I feel the need to go.  This reduces the number of times I have to go during the day.  Unfortunately, I leaked more and for a longer period of time after going because the bladder sphincter was less sensitive and even slower to close.

      The leakage is particularly bad when I’m forced to not use the bathroom for long periods, like while traveling on a commercial airplane.  When the seatbelt sign is finally turned off, I dash to the lavatory and go.  After finishing and returning to my seat, several times I discovered sometime later, I wasn’t really finished and my bladder continued to empty in my pants.  After a couple of embarrassing episodes like that, I began wearing a diaper when I travel.

      After enduring two years of this, I quit taking the drug.  My regular doctor didn’t have any objections.  He expressed no surprise at all when I showed up for my annual examination wearing a diaper under my jeans.  Apparently one of the known (though uncommon) side effects of the drug is incontinence.

      One long term consequence of wearing diapers for so long is that I developed a lazy bladder.  I didn’t realize this until I saw the urologist a couple of years ago.  One of the urodynamic tests he ran was to measure the rate that the bladder empties.  Mine empties at about one quarter the normal rate.  Apparently, my bladder doesn’t contract when I go; it simply drains when I relax the bladder sphincter.  I’ve always known that it takes me longer to urinate than other guys.  I just never realized why.

      When I had the kidney stone removed, I legitimately had to wear diapers all the time for about four weeks.  The surgery was somewhat more involved and traumatic than I expected.  I thought the urologist was going to just grab the stone using his ureterscope.  He may have done that, however, afterward he had to put in a stent to prevent the ureter from swelling shut from the irritation of the surgery.  In order to easily removal the stent, he put a pull line on it and left it inside where he could easily grab it when it came time to take the stent out several weeks later.

      What I didn’t realize was that the string had been strung from the stent, through the bladder, the bladder sphincter, the prostate, and was left concealed inside the urethra.  In addition, the doctor tied several loops with slip knots in the line to bunch up the excess line so that it remained hidden in the urethra.  (I discovered all this later as I watched the monitor attached to his scope when he removed the stent.) 

      By doing this, the doctor effectively made me incontinent.  Urine seeped through the sphincter along the tag line.  The looped excess line irritated the sphincter and urethra so much that it caused bleeding if I walked too far.  It was extremely uncomfortable.  The discomfort was much reduced and the bleeding minimized if I kept the bladder sphincter relaxed.  This stopped the string from abrading the lining of the sphincter and urethra.  However, it also resulted in my bladder draining continuously, releasing small amounts of urine as the kidneys produced it.  Within a few days, the sphincter stayed relaxed by itself without much conscious effort by me.  For three weeks, I never had a full bladder or had to consciously urinate.

      Even so, I had bladder spasms because of the irritating line and stent excess inside the bladder.  The bladder would spasm uncontrollably contracting even though it contained little or no urine.

      I wore diapers day and night for the entire three weeks that the stent was in place and for almost a week afterward until I regained bladder control.  At the end of the three weeks, the doctor removed the stent.  It felt good to get that irritating string out of there.  The sphincter and bladder were both very sensitive and weakened from being kept relaxed for so long.

      After getting home from the doctor’s office, I put on one of the heavy underpants and then went shopping.  I felt more comfortable than I had in weeks after the stent and the string attached to it were gone.  As I was leaving the store however, I wet my pants.  All of a sudden I had to go, NOW.  The urge was sudden, strong, and undeniable.  Almost as soon as I felt the need to go, my bladder was emptying.  You know, it’s quite disconcerting to be wetting your pants and not have any control.  All the times in the past, I’d basically done it on purpose or was prepared for it.  This time, I wasn’t doing it on purpose and I wasn’t prepared.  Luckily, the training pants absorbed all the urine so I didn’t have it running down my legs.

      When I got home, I changed my underpants and put on some shorts.  However, a few hours later it happened again.  This time I felt the urge beginning and I was running for the bathroom.  With every step, my bladder released more urine until I finally lost control entirely.  There was a towel on the floor in my bedroom, so I just stood on it until I was done peeing.

      After that incident, I took off my wet underwear and shorts and put on a diaper.  I continued to wear diapers until I regained control and was able to reliably stay dry again.  This took several days.

      I don’t blame my parents for my compulsion.  Having me alternate between underpants and diapers depending on the circumstances was a perfectly logical thing to do at the time given the situation.  While done for understandable and practical reasons, it’s obvious that my unusually long term use of diapers and equivocal toilet training had a significant effect on me.  Instead of learning that I was supposed to graduate from diapers to training pants to underpants, I learned that diapers or underpants are equally acceptable forms of underwear depending on the situation.  Also, diapers are frequently more convenient than underpants and more effective at preventing embarrassing accidents.  These are lessons that have proven exceptionally hard to unlearn.  Never having raised kids, I’m not sure what I would have done in their situation; maybe the same thing.  Knowing what I know now, I would definitely try to find another way to manage the problem.  Living in a trailer without a bathroom is inconvenient.  Toilet training a kid when there isn’t a convenient toilet is definitely a problem.

      What I find most perplexing is that I didn’t consciously remember much of this aspect of my childhood.  I remembered singular events; e.g. soiling my pants when I was 2 ½; my embarrassment at wearing diapers in front of my friends when we were leaving on the Arizona trip; the embarrassment at having my diapers changed in front of strangers; etc.  However, I just can’t explain why memories of my extended use of diapers were mostly gone from my conscious memory.

      It’s only recently that I’ve been able to dig out some memories of that time.  I was doing genealogy research and putting together a book about the family.  That is when I started scanning the old photos and had the 8mm movies converted to DVD.  When I looked closely at the photos, I was amazed to discover that I’d been wearing diapers as long as I was.  It seems like I was hypnotized, brainwashed, or something to have my memory so completely erased.

[Craisler]

Nice work. I always wonder with my amount of usage of diapers if i will ever run into this problem. I have noticed in the past few months that I have been wearing about 5 days out of the week that I have to run to the bathroom at work way more often then before. And I have taken naps in diapers and when I woke up I was unsure if I peed myself knowingly or in my sleep. Thanks for the post. It was a good read.

Thanks. I just wish I could go back and do more editing. I fat fingered the topic title and I noticed some places that I changed thoughts in the middle of typing and ended up with so excess words.

[Billiardnut]

Very nice story and I can actually relate to portions of it. I got divorced in 2009 and shortly thereafter, I went to wearing diapers 24/7. I had wore diapers on and off throughout my life and always wanted to wear them 24/7 but my ex-wife wasn't even remotely supportive.

It has close to 3 years of wearing diapers 24/7 about 98% of the time and I dont even have to think about peeing anymore. I have worn underwear a couple of times out of absolute necessity but I leaked urine and urinated very frequently when I did wear underwear I didnt feel "safe" at all. Finally I got some pads for those times when I must wear underwear. But those times are getting more and more rare (currently I have been diapered for 6 months 100% of the time, 24/7)

Thankfully, my current girlfriend is aware of my diapers and is supportive of me wearing them.

[Bettypooh]

I thought I got long-winded, but I believe I've been bested It was still a good read with many parts I can relate to. I do wonder about the 'trailer-camp' though- nowhere that I know of which would have a 27th street would allow residential camping on such a scale with only communal water and bath facilities- that's like third-world stuff! But it may have been there, so.... Anyway I'd say that you would do fine to just go 24/7 and forget about it. It's not that hard to do and with a physical need it's not that hard to explain should that need arise Those who have a problem with it; well they have the problem- not you. That's how I handle my own life and while I wear 24/7 I don't fully use 24/7 and I'm quite happy with it all, living a fairly normal life with nobody the wiser about my choice of underwear :girl;_happy:

Bettypooh

[Craisler]

I thought I got long-winded, but I believe I've been bested It was still a good read with many parts I can relate to. I do wonder about the 'trailer-camp' though- nowhere that I know of which would have a 27th street would allow residential camping on such a scale with only communal water and bath facilities- that's like third-world stuff! But it may have been there, so.... Anyway I'd say that you would do fine to just go 24/7 and forget about it. It's not that hard to do and with a physical need it's not that hard to explain should that need arise Those who have a problem with it; well they have the problem- not you. That's how I handle my own life and while I wear 24/7 I don't fully use 24/7 and I'm quite happy with it all, living a fairly normal life with nobody the wiser about my choice of underwear :girl;_happy:

Bettypooh

I suppose it would depend on which 27th Street. In the 1940s in Milwaukee they did.

I suppose I should have broken it up into 3 or 4 sections. However, I don't really think it was long-winded since I was covering about a 60 year time frame.

By the way, I didn't write this all in one sitting. I've actually been adding to the history as I recovered more memories and discovered more evidence of my early diapered years. I so thoroughly suppressed memories of those early years up until about five years ago, if anyone had asked me, I'd have said that I was toilet trained day and night by the time two and a half years old and I'd have completely believed it. So, I was completely surprised to discover evidence to the contrary.

[Bettypooh]

I guess I overlooked the 'real age' part of your stats, the world was much different back then My Mom and Dad's first home together was a rented 24 ft travel trailer that was permanently set up not ten miles from where I'm sitting right now My oldest sibling was born while they lived there and Mom still has pics of that time and the trailer with the round windows Don't worry about the long-winded post- they haven't run me off for all of mine yet so you are OK

Bettypooh

[thong5]

Milwaukee does indeed have a 27th st and there are 2 trailer parks on it. ! near 27th and College and the other about 27th and howard and the one near college ave has a grocery store right across the street.

[Craisler]

The one we lived in doesn't exist anymore. The last time I looked on google earth, a McDonald's was located there (or something like that). That was at 27th and Morgan.

[Craisler]

Before I’d dug into the old family photos and home movies, I used to write stories about how someone like me became a diaper lover. I wrote about a kid being punished and forced to wear diapers for many years. How he went through the first years school still needing diapers. I wrote about a long family trip where he wore diapers for a month and by the time he returned home needed to keep wearing them because his toilet training had been forgotten. I wrote those stories as part of the “binge/purge

[thong5]

There is a McDonalds at 27th and Morgan,can't say how long its been there tho. Do you still live in Milwaukee?

[Craisler]

There is a McDonalds at 27th and Morgan,can't say how long its been there tho. Do you still live in Milwaukee?

No. Haven't been there in over 20 years.

[oznl]

Craisler, firstly can I thank you for taking the time to document your history and suggest that, if you haven’t already, you consider uploading it as a story (a true one obviously) in the story forum so that time doesn’t see your magnum opus buried under later posts.

One aspect of your story resonates with my own experience. I have a number of quite vivid early childhood memories where subsequent film and photographic evidence confirms that I was in nappies. One photograph that I clearly recall being taken of me shows me sitting on the front step on a hot, early summer morning wearing ONLY a suspiciously saggy looking night nappy pinned under translucent plastic pants. Another shows me playing with a running garden hose, again only in cloth nappies and plastic pants. The hose has done its work and I’m squatting down with the best part of a gallon of water sloshing out my (not-so) waterproof pant leggings. It can't have been comfortable.

The thing is that in NONE of these situations can I recollect ANY kind of awareness of my underwear.

In a related way, I have childhood memories of wetting my pants, wetting my bed and being placed on a plastic toilet seat and left to ‘perform’ but I have ZERO memories of urinating or defecating in a nappy even though it had to have been a more-than-daily occurrence at exactly the same period.

It is as though my diapered state was a fact that only existed beneath my level of perception. I’m wondering that if this might be because being diapered was all that I knew and so I took my default, diapered state for granted like air and gravity.

A bit annoying really…

[Craisler]

Craisler, firstly can I thank you for taking the time to document your history and suggest that, if you haven’t already, you consider uploading it as a story (a true one obviously) in the story forum so that time doesn’t see your magnum opus buried under later posts.

One aspect of your story resonates with my own experience. I have a number of quite vivid early childhood memories where subsequent film and photographic evidence confirms that I was in nappies. One photograph that I clearly recall being taken of me shows me sitting on the front step on a hot, early summer morning wearing ONLY a suspiciously saggy looking night nappy pinned under translucent plastic pants. Another shows me playing with a running garden hose, again only in cloth nappies and plastic pants. The hose has done its work and I’m squatting down with the best part of a gallon of water sloshing out my (not-so) waterproof pant leggings. It can't have been comfortable.

The thing is that in NONE of these situations can I recollect ANY kind of awareness of my underwear.

In a related way, I have childhood memories of wetting my pants, wetting my bed and being placed on a plastic toilet seat and left to ‘perform’ but I have ZERO memories of urinating or defecating in a nappy even though it had to have been a more-than-daily occurrence at exactly the same period.

It is as though my diapered state was a fact that only existed beneath my level of perception. I’m wondering that if this might be because being diapered was all that I knew and so I took my default, diapered state for granted like air and gravity.

A bit annoying really…

I'd considered your explanation of the "default state," however, some facts don't fit with that explanation. I'd agree with you that that may have been the case at age 3, 4, and maybe even 5. However, by age 6, I knew that it wasn't normal for a kid in kindergarten and due to start grade school to be wearing diapers. I do have specific memories of being embarassed about the diapers when we were leaving on that long trip. Yet, I don't really remember wearing diapers on the trip. I do have many pictures and the home movies, though, which show me wearing diapers for the entire trip.

I also don't remember wearing diapers to first grade. I just have pictures of me in diapers before starting school and I have pictures of me taken in the spring or summer a year later still wearing diapers. So, I just interpolated that I was likely wearing diapers in the period between when those photographs were taken, which would have been the first grade school term.

About all I remember about first grade was that I didn't really like being in class or like the teacher. If you've seen the first "Men in Black" movie and remember the scene when K is showing J all the differnent people who are really aliens, you may remember the scene about Miss Edelson. Miss Edelson is a close approximation of my first grade teacher. My teacher wasn't as old, but she had the dark rimmed glasses and the exceptionally stern demenor. I also perceived the classroom as a dark and gloomy place.

I've seen the old school since then and the classroom wasn't dark. It had windows looking out on to the treed playground. In general, it was a typical classroom no different than any of the others in that school. But my perceptions of the place when I was 6 years old don't correspond to reality. I wonder if they were influenced by the fact that I was diapered and endured a lot of teasing. So much teasing that I later completely obliterated all memories of that time. I really don't know.

Back when I was a kid, we were virtually always completely dressed. There is only one picture of me dressed only in a diaper. That one was taken inside the trailer when my father was giving me a haircut when I was 4 years old. Otherwise, I'm always dressed in at least a T-shirt and shorts over the diaper.

The other thing about photos back then was the fact that they were expensive to have processed and printed. So, photographs usually only show special occasions, trips, and such. Quick snap shots of kids doing cute things around the house or yard, just don't exist for the most part. Definitely not like the way we take pictures today. With digital cameras you can take all the pictures you want for virtually no cost and print or keep just the ones you want to preserve.

[Craisler]

I was having a conversation on Skype with a friend about old Volkswagens. So, I sent him a picture of one that also happened to have me standing beside the car. After a little bit, he asked me, “Are you wearing a diaper in that picture?

[Repaid1]

Thanks. I just wish I could go back and do more editing. I fat fingered the topic title and I noticed some places that I changed thoughts in the middle of typing and ended up with so excess words.

I edited the topic title for you, as you could as well. On your first post, click the "Edit" Under your last text (Cursor left of the MultiQuote Button) then when it comes up click the "Use Full Editor"

[Craisler]

I edited the topic title for you, as you could as well. On your first post, click the "Edit" Under your last text (Cursor left of the MultiQuote Button) then when it comes up click the "Use Full Editor"

Thanks. One of these days I might learn all of the intricacies of the board.

[abdl86]

This was some story. thanks for sharing this

[Craisler]

This was some story. thanks for sharing this

No problem.

Like I mentioned before, it's a story that's still evolving as I discover more information. I wish I'd been able to ask my mother about why I ended up wearing diapers for so long. The early years (until I was about 7 years old) are obvious. After that (until I was maybe 11 years old), I assume that it took me a while to overcome my earlier habits. However, the fact that I still needed diapers when we went on long car trips until I was 14 years old and after I was able to stay dry at night, that requires some explanation.

When I went to see a urologist a few years ago, he told me that I had a lazy bladder. During one of the tests, my bladder emptied at a very much slower than normal rate. Basically, the bladder muscles were only weakly contracting. He didn't have an explanation as to why. However, at that time, I hadn't found all the photographs and pieced together my early urinary history. I just knew that problems that I was having at that time, which were why my primary doctor referred me to the urologist.

The best explanation I can come up with is that because I was diapered for so long, I never learned to empty my bladder completely. I would just go until the discomfort was relieved because I was diapered I could go at anytime. I didn't have the inconvenience of having to get to a toilet. My guess is that I didn't learn to completely empty my bladder until I was about 15 years old since that is when I can no longer find any photographs of myself wearing diapers.

[babyleanna75]

I have a simular story I was diapered tell I was seven my story is in How did you becime a dl.

I grew up in abussive foster homes.

[Craisler]

You have my sympathies. For me, that wasn't the case. I'd equate my family to "Leave it to Beaver", Ozzie and Harriet," and "Mayberry RFD" rolled into one. The typical idyllic 50's family life or at least that's the way I see it.